Heavenly Bliss.
The feeling everyone is seeking. Many would deny their pursuit; they would claim that hedonistic urges are alien to them, but they would be lying. After all, even the mighty King himself could not resist this temptation, and none possessed resilience greater than his.
Heavenly Bliss.
The sensation he felt when fusing with the Holy Grail. At long last, the King became one with his holy treasure, a moment long overdue, the one importance of which could not be overstated. He was no longer a mere human or a heroic spirit. He was not even a god. He became the essence of that which humanity strived for, the embodiment of perfection, tranquility, passion, war, and peace…He was everything and nothing at the same time, for once not defined by his actions or identity but rather by what he saw. And now that the King unshackled himself from the limitations of a mere heroic spirit, he saw everything.
He saw his own summoning at the hands of Tokiomi Tohsaka, his talks with a man named Kirei Kotomine, their agreement, and the ruins they stood upon…He saw himself standing over dying Shirou Emiya, preparing to celebrate his victory. He saw events that never happened and contradicted each other, the echoes of what could have been…The darkness of Angra Mainyu that surrounded him, consumed by the power wielded in the hands of none other than Sakura Matou. He saw himself desperately clinging to the world and attempting to break free from the void, stricken down by none other than Archer, reversing their roles…Countless threads of fate unraveled before his eyes, he lived through each of them at the same time.
But there was one that caught the King's eye. A battle to death with a beautiful woman, an unfortunate yet graceful defeat.
A duel worth reliving.
…
Shirou didn't dare to dream of this moment, yet at long last, the pain was over.
He could feel it in his heart and soul, one powerful strike from the King of Heroes was enough to end this chaos and annihilate the demonic creature by the name of Angra Mainyu. All the suffering and struggle…Shirou could feel it being laid to rest in a span of a single moment. The nightmare was over, at long last…
And he has become one with the Grail.
Shirou could feel the warmth around him, the fuzzy feeling of relaxation and catharsis, as if he were standing in the footsteps of paradise. Eventually, he opened his eyes and witnessed the halls around him. It was a large room made of stone and decorated in gold, a lavish place without a single trace of modern technology. Shirou felt as if he found himself at the heart of an antique site, a relic of the past far away from civilization…But it did not look ancient or broken. In fact, it was how he imagined ancient kingdoms to look at the height of their development.
"Shirou Emiya." He heard Gilgamesh's commanding voice coming from behind him. The hero turned around and saw Caster sitting on a golden throne and watching Shirou with clear intrigue and amusement in his eyes. "Welcome to my domain. Few words can describe how fortunate you are to witness even a small reflection of it."
"Is this…Babylon?"
"Precisely, or to be precise, a recreation of it I made with the powers granted to me by the Grail."
"We are within the Grail…But how."
"Simple. For once, in an ironic twist of fate, the final stage of the Holy Grail War proceeded as intended." Gilgamesh explained. "Each one of us put in due effort and thus, we won."
"Is it over, then? Is…"
"Angra Mainyu is completely annihilated. Angela and Archer are dead, and I could feel the spawns perish all around Fuyuki, following their 'god'." Shirou could not believe he was hearing those words. After the sheer horror and pain he experienced, after walking through the gates of hell towards his doom, after he sacrificed everything to atone for his mistakes…Here it was. The confirmation that this battle was not for nothing. That it was worth fighting. Shirou couldn't hold back the tears in his eyes.
"Already getting emotional?" Gilgamesh chuckled. "I suppose you have better reasons than most."
Suddenly, Shirou felt a surge of pain within him. The dark wounds pulsed, making the hero bleed and fall to his knees.
"Aaargh…What is this?"
"The wounds from your battles against Archer and Angra Mainyu," Gilgamesh said with an echo of regret. "They allowed the Grail's essence to overtake your body and soul. This was Angra Mainyu's last wish, to drag you down with him into the depths of the abyss…Even after his death, it is not an order that can be undone."
"Don't sugarcoat and just say it…I will die, right?"
"Yes. You will inevitably decay, a process similar to the one Kiritsugu suffered, but far quicker. It is already in its final stages."
"So this is…" Suddenly, Shirou felt realization piercing him. "Wait, how do you know this? I never told you how Kiritsugu died."
"No, but Kotomine did." Gilgamesh smiled, watching Shirou recoil with an expression of horror emerging on his face.
"You…You remember!"
"A-ha-ha!" The King laughed out loud. "Yes, seeing you react would be just as amusing as I expected! You shouldn't be surprised…I replaced Angra Mainyu at the heart of the Grail, the relic you mongrels call 'an omnipotent wish-granter' and 'the key to the root of all magic'. I am no longer bound by limits that hold mortals and heroic spirits alike, and though it won't be long before I return to the spirit of the world and once again forget that which I saw…Just for one blissful moment, I was granted the gift of ultimate knowledge."
"The grail restored your memory?"
"It did much, much more than that…I have seen worlds that you would not even comprehend, but yes, I remember my previous summoning now. In meticulous detail, for I have not just witnessed it, I lived through it. I assume you always had your memories at the front of your mind when fighting beside me?"
"I could never forget…And just because you helped now doesn't mean I will forget what you did."
"And what exactly did I do? Fought for a prize that you ended up winning?"
"Artoria is not a prize to be won! She is a person, and she made her choice…"
"Ah, yes, continue to defend her honor like a loyal pup…But you are right, she made her choice, and I respected it in the end. After all, some things are all the more beautiful because they are unattainable." Gilgamesh closed his eyes and smiled as if remembering a beautiful moment. "Now that I have spent more time with you as an ally, I see why she made this choice. It befits a naive idealist like her, and I won't fault her for her nature. You were her inspiration, the way she spoke of you during our duel…It was clear that you have forever conquered her heart. And as a final show of respect for a worthy adversary, I will fulfill my duty." Gilgamesh declared with pride.
"Duty?"
"As I said, the war proceeded as its creators once intended. The Grail was purified with us, and one master and one servant came into contact with it. I cannot bring you back into the living world, but beyond that, I am ready to grant you your wish."
Oh, the never-ending irony.
The moment that many fought for, planned their entire lives around, forsaken their principles and identities…Here it was, granted to Shirou because of a coincidence. The hero looked at the nearest window, gazing at the bright azure sky above Gilgamesh's palace. In any era, the world he lived in was beautiful and worth fighting for, worth saving. However, he knew that wishing an end to all conflict was futile, for some things could never be burnt out of human nature. Neither did he want to erase his past…Shirou remembered his words to Saber, of how he pleaded for her to accept her past as it was and look toward the future. He said something similar to Archer when they fought, Shirou accepted that saving everyone was impossible. And now…There was only one wish he truly wanted to make. To drop his facade and allow himself one final indulgence.
"I want to be with Saber again."
"What a predictable answer…But so be it. I shall open a pathway. Your wish will be granted."
…
The dust had settled, and the battle was over. Sakura knew it, ready to open her eyes and gaze to the skies. What she saw once she stared upwards was indescribable. The Grail deteriorated in front of her eyes, countless cracks spreading through its shell until, eventually, it shattered. The outpour of energy released a wave of pure magic into the sky, spreading an entire sea of light that consumed the darkness that Angra Mainyu spread. Two energies converged in a whirlpool of magic until both consumed each other, leaving only silence and serenity. The young woman finally breathed in relief, realizing that after all their effort, they finally stopped the cataclysm. Gilgamesh fulfilled his duty with pride and vigor, sharing his blessing with Fuyuki and the rest of the world, Sakura was immensely grateful to him for that.
But his words weighed heavily upon her, as they spelled out the fate of the man she loved for many years…
"Sakura? Are you alright?" Hector's warm and hopeful voice echoed from behind as the young man rushed towards the weakened woman, lending her a hand and helping her get up.
"I…I am." Sakura stood up, mustering a faint yet beautiful smile as she looked at Hector. "And you? Are you…"
"You're kidding me? Of course, I'm doing alright, we…We did it! You must have seen that glorious transformation. I only hope that it destroyed the remaining creatures, as well."
"It should, but that's not really what I meant…" Sakura said in a somber tone, making Hector realize her meaning immediately. It wasn't every day one would go through a loss of Hector's magnitude, especially not by his own hand.
"Ah, I see…I'd rather not talk about her, not now…"
"Of course," Sakura reassured him. "Have you seen any of the others?"
"I have. Your sister and El-Melloi are fine, a bit roughed up, but nothing too bad. We haven't found Shirou yet…"
Shirou.
Sakura wished she didn't know.
"Sakura, Hector!" She heard Rin's loud voice from across the few piles of rubble, she sounded pained and even scared, a very rare occurrence. This was enough for Sakura and Hector to check it out, and so they did, making their way towards Rin and Waver.
Even before laying her eyes upon the sight, Sakura knew what to expect. Caster told her the inevitable truth, and there was no choice left but to accept it and look it in the eyes.
When Sakura and Hector approached their allies, they realized that the two of them stood over a gravely wounded Shirou Emiya. They found and dug him from the rubble, but Shirou's wounds were far too deep and extensive, not to mention the remnants of corruption that persisted in their push to entangle his very soul. The young man was still breathing heavily.
"Come on, Shirou…" She pleaded in a quiet voice. "You can push through this, I know!l
"R-Rin…" Shirou whispered in pain, unable to open his eyes. "It's okay…I…It's inevitable and…I'm ready…"
"You're ready?! Drop the self-sacrificing act, idiot; you aren't dying here, you."
"Rin…It's no use." Waver said in a pained tone as she attempted to utilize yet another healing spell. "Those aren't mere wounds on his body. It is something far worse. It's the killing darkness that spreads through his body, and I can feel its resistance to spells.
"On shut up already! Emiya's been through worse…" Rin said angrily as tears rolled down her cheeks. In her heart, she must have known, too. "Sakura, here you are! Come on, we need to revive him!"
Sakura wanted nothing more than to give away all of her strength, maybe even her life, for an opportunity to save Shirou, but she felt this destructive rot, too, which only confirmed Gilgamesh's words.
"Rin…" Sakura said with pain in her voice. "Gilgamesh spoke with me before sacrificing himself to destroy the Grail; he said that it left its mark on Shirou…It's irreversible."
"Irreversible?! What nonsense! It doesn't matter how strong the magic is. We can undo it, I know! It can't be…It can't be inevitable!"
"Rin, please," Sakura begged. "I want to help him, too, but…We can't. We can't stay the heroes and saviors in this moment…We should be his friends; that's how he would want to remember us."
Sakura stepped forth and kneeled before Shirou. She could feel the pain eroding him, he had no more than a few minutes…Sakura wanted to make those moments easier for him. The woman hummed a soft and sweet tune, just loud enough for it to reach Shirou's ears. Sakura could feel him relaxing as she put her hands under his head, allowing him something smooth to rest on.
"It's okay, Shirou…" Sakura said, finally allowing tears to stream down her eyes. "We're here with you…And we'll stay as long as you need us to." Sakura knew that she should not see it as a moment of desperation, for Shirou accomplished everything he wanted and made his wish, but it was agonizing to even think of losing him. Both Sakura and Rin were in tears as Waver and Hector watched with pained eyes and grave silence.
"Sa-ku…Ra…" Shirou spoke quietly as if extinguishing the last traces of his energy. "Rin…Thank you…For…Everything…"
"Shirou…Why?" Rin cried and clenched her fist. "You had a long life to live. We could've…We could've…"
"Don't…Mourn…I…" Shirou coughed. "I won't be…Alone."
Sakura understood what those words meant, allowing her to smile through the endless stream of tears.
"You are going to her…That was your wish, right?"
Shirou nodded. His breaths were growing slower and fainter, each organ of his body has been overtaken by the Grail's seal and fate, Sakura could only imagine how he felt. Yet it was unmistakable; she could see a smile on Shirou's face during his final moments…Just before his last breath.
Sakura put a hand to his heart, feeling her own skip a beat as she felt the static silence.
"He's…" Sakura stuttered, unable to control her tears. "He's gone."
She didn't know how to carry on. Shirou has been the guiding star in her life, the positive, warm presence that allowed Sakura to persist and find joy in her life during the time of absolute misery. For years she dreamed of reuniting with him only to see her hero perish in the battle against evil incarnate.
Suddenly, Sakura felt Hector's warm hand on her shoulder. He offered her a gentle embrace, soothing the crying woman. He allowed Sakura to breathe in slight relief, but even that was an incredible gift. Soon, Rin joined in, as well, hugging her sister as the two shared their grief. Eventually, Waver joined them, as well. It still hurt, and it would for a long, long while, but Sakura was not alone. None of them were, not while they had each other. The battle was over, and it left scars that every survivor will bear.
And yet, even now, as they stood upon the ruins of generations of history, Sakura looked up at the rising sun and knew in her heart that today was a new beginning for each of them.