Introduction: i love babaum ok bye this is them meeting btw

One day, Nozomu was feeling himself so he decided to post a photo of himself on the internet.

This website? /r/selfies. The photo involved him very cheekily turning towards a mirror, effectively making his ass look bigger than it actually was. He then made his trek to his job, each day more tedious than the last. The journey seemed to elongate every day. Once he made it to his school, "Bob's School of Learning", he was greeted by his colleague, Chie Arai.

"Good morning, Arai-sensei," he greeted her with a facetious smile. She was one hot tamale!

"Itoshiki-chan, what are you doing here? It is the middle of summer vacation. You have no students right now. By the way, the students you had last semester are all repeating again." Chie Arai broke the news. Nozomu turned paler than before, his skin a bright #FFFFFF. He mumbled his way out of the conversation.

"Fuuckk," Nozomu said over his breath. He was beginning to think that this "teacher thing" wasn't working out. He should have stuck to his job in the meat factory. Down on his luck, he returned home to see that his reddit account (u/diekill5) had 8 notifications. He had received -5 upvotes on his selfie on r/selfies. Worst of all, he got slapped in the ass by Real Life Brian Quinn! He opened the comments under the post, he was being vindicated by the masses.

"kys fag" said u/Janguns.

"boner soft :(" said user u/IJACKOFFTOYOURSELFIES.

"friend me on switch 2" said u/mariofartfetish. (fallenchungus alt account)

Most surprisingly of all, Nozomu had received a private message from a user named u/towahorse. This user, known mostly for yumeships and tweets of all time, went by no pronouns/horsepronouns/and hepronouns. Nozomu was intrigued. He opened the message.

"hi! im harmfulyaoi on twitter pls fb. Im priv rn but ill let you in because i lovee you!"

Nozomu was intrigued. He went to , and after fighting off the nazis, he had encountered harmfulyaoi, previously known as cheseburgeryaoi. He sent a follow request, and almost instantaneously, he was let in! He was on his way to message this "Barbie" character. Though, one thing was stopping him from making a move. His fingers were shivering, he didn't know what to do. Zetsuboushita! He was in despair over the fact that he could not open a conversation with a continental American transgender baddie.

MEANWHILE ON THE DEEP PRIV

barbie: guys i just came and a ladybug came in through my window. this is a sign. he is the one.

barbie: ough i want him to pee himself wiggles

Nozomu finally opened.

He wanted to act chill and nonchalant. Though, he did not expect this response from barbie.

"eeek! Hi nozomu…" Barbie said.

"Hello, Barbie," Nozomu replied. Nozomu scratched his crack. Something's been itching him lately. He decided to send another photo of himself to show how happy he is now. He hadn't felt this happy since KAfuka hit the second towa.

MEANWHILE ON THE DEEP PRIV

barbie: guys im sweating hes so cute

Barbie and Nozomu spent the entire afternoon speaking to each other. What seemed like hours felt like seconds, not enough to seize the whole day. Nozomu's face flushed with a bright pink! color. Nozomu grazed his cheekbone, it was warm. He didn't know that such entertaining, spectacular, cute people could be lurking in the corners of r/selfies, and that a telephone wire could so easily connect him and Barbie.

Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep with his phone right next to his head. He woke up with only a faint memory of Barbie, or now known as "Baba" on whatsapp. What a cute nickname, he thought to himself. It was very unlike him to have these thoughts, out of character even. About an hour later, he opened the micro-oven to find a sweet potato he had roasted for 20 minutes. He was hungry. He tore the potato in half, flaking away its purple skin to reveal the fluffy, sweet orange flesh. A pad of butter was placed into the crevice, melting into the potato. He placed his chin over it just so that the potato would irradiate his face with warmth. He closed his eyes for a second before taking a bite. His phone rang, immediately souring his mood. He scrunched his eyebrows. Normally in the months of July and August, his inbox was barren, only to be left with the occasional spam email or Nami blog post (somehow she had gotten his email on her mailing list). To his surprise, it was a text from Baba.

"im on my way to work now. btw this stays between us, this checker's got rats."

It was such a mundane text, though Nozomu was unable to hold back his smile. He held his hand to his lips before he could catch the emotion coursing through his head. He was going crazy.

The end guys remember to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE