Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

Who's That Father?

Dead Man Walking

(Then: Earth, North America, The City)

All Hallow's Eve.

The only time of year that allowed for lower class Hellborn to 'freely' journey up to Earth and party. Oddly, it was also the only time those of High Class, or even Sins, were barred from stepping foot or cloven hooved onto the soil. It wasn't special to most Hellhounds, because who cared about Earth when they could go to Queen Bee's any night they wanted to live it up?

When Naruto first heard about the pastime that occurred this night every year, he had to fact check it. Sure enough, human children were set out onto the streets to dress up and rob other humans of their goods without outright robbing them. The selling point was the costumed angle. Not only would he be able to take a night off and kill some stress by taking shit from the dumb mortals on Earth without repercussion, but he could let his puppy get in on it?

Sign him the fuck up!

Unfortunately, there were a few unmentioned downsides to this plan. Downsides that he didn't consider until an hour into their venture when he stumbled across them. Or rather, when they walked up to him and basically smacked him across the face.

"Oh, what a cute little werewolf." A young human woman that had to be freezing in this overly air conditioned hallway with that nurse costume giggled. "Mine's the Frankenstein monster. Mother couldn't make it tonight?"

"Er, no." Naruto grunted as he watched his pup go up to the various doors and ask for candy like the human children dressed in cheap suits beside them. He was happy he'd chosen an apartment complex to hit at first, as some forums suggested they'd have a better haul in quantity here, and, unlike the open streets of suburban life, had longer 'trick or treating' schedules they could abuse. That all bit him on the ass when they stumbled across the first Halloween Party hosted by what had to be a shit ton of horny adolescents.

That was about where he realized that he'd fucked up.

Unlike his little girl, Naruto was disguised as a human that wore his typical urban uniform. A lot of folks thanked him for his 'service', which was super fucking annoying for the most part – one, he didn't serve or service anyone. Period; two, he was pretty sure his gear lacked the country's flags or insignia – but those platitudes and polite manners were easily ignored. Granted, that sort of interaction with Earth's inhabitants was preferred over the blatant Lust many of the Humans would shower him with, especially the women.

Like this thirsty bitch beside him, for example.

"Oh? Would you like to pair up for a few houses?" The nurse wearing stockings and probably not much else smiled up at him. There was a strong flare of pheromones he vaguely recognized as a human's sign of attraction – thanks to his romps with Succubi half a year ago in Lust – and promptly ignored it.

"Sorry, but it's getting late. And we're on a schedule." He smiled as his puppy toddled back to him, tail wagging as she showed off her latest haul.

"Look, Daddy, look!"

"Wow, baby! Look at all the shinies and candy you got! Did you remember to say 'thank you'?" Naruto asked as he flicked a finger through his pup's acquired treats. Shit, there were so many notable chemicals wafting off of this crap, he'd be surprised if any human kids didn't develop diabetes overnight. His puppy, on the other hand, would thrive from this garbage haul.

"Yes!" The four year old to-be barked proudly.

"Good girl," Naruto smiled at her. He scratched her behind her right ear and then stood up. He took her little hand in his and led her toward the elevator. "C'mon, we have just enough time to hit another block."

They made it through the next apartment complex with much of the same interactions with the Humans inside: his puppy would be fawned over – as she fuckin' should be, his daughter was so god-damned adorable – and Naruto would be hit on. Rinse and repeat, it didn't matter what floor or age the participants were. This continued up until the curfew came up and Naruto decided to bounce before his 'hustle' got crashed or his patience for Human stupidity got tested.

Naturally, being the four year old puppy that she was only hours shy of, being awake well past her bedtime and because of the fun she was having, Himawari threw a tantrum upon being told they had to go home.

"No! No! No! No! NO!" The overstimulated puppy kicked her feet as Naruto carried her under his arm into an alleyway. Her bag of treats slung over his other shoulder. The furious struggles of his daughter would be annoying if the face she made when she was this wound up wasn't so fuckin' cute.

"This isn't up for debate, Pickle," he growled at his pup. "We're going home, and you're going to bed."

"But-but..! Daddy!" Himawari whined at him and started to sniffle. Yeah, because that definitely convinced him she wasn't exhausted. Naruto opened his mouth to refute that whine and any other complaint that might follow, when another spoke up from behind him.

"Put the kid down and maybe things don't have to get ugly."

"As if tonight just couldn't get any fucking better." Naruto snorted as he turned toward the voice, the speaker hidden in the shadows of the alleyway. Himawari immediately went quiet, her innate sixth sense for a threat likely screaming at her to let him handle it. His concealed hackles rose as his pup's whine turned from annoyed to frightened and he glared into the shadows. "Why don't you step out and say that again to my face?"

"I won't tell you again." A hunched humanoid warned as he stepped out of the shadows. The horns that sprouted from his head were filed down and his feet were cloven, but not full hooves. His dark hair grew long enough for him to put it up in a ponytail and for sideburns to grow thick. Aside from those prominent features, the aniridia yellow eyes and red skin made the humanoid before him stand out, much more than his leather shorts and trench coat combo did. Oh, and there was the fact his right hand looked like a giant fucking rock. His almost sulfuric eyes narrowed. "Put. The Kid. Down."

"...Buddy, props to your getup – I almost thought you were a real Wrathian for a second – but last I checked the costume party is inside the apartment complex, not in this alley. It's just upstairs on, oh, just pick any fucking floor." Naruto deadpanned as he slowly lowered Himawari down and gave her the bag of treats. A loud click had him focus on the sudden massive revolver lifted and aimed at his face. Oh, it was going to go this way then?

"Last chance dirtbag."

"Hm, clearly. Alright, counterproposal." Naruto dropped his disguise and shot up to tower over the costumed gunman. He bared his teeth and snarled. "Get the fuck away from me and my daughter, and you keep that arm."

"...I suddenly see the resemblance." The Red Ape muttered as he glanced down at Himawari, who shifted to hide further behind Naruto, while the Hellhound gave a louder snarl and brought his claws up. Red Ape lifted his revolver to point it square at Naruto's chest. "Why are you here?"

This guy had to be high on something or had balls of fucking diamonds.

"Little thing called 'trick or treating'," Naruto said in turn as his eyeshine flared up. "Figured the pup could have some fun up top."

"You come up top to have fun often?"

"Fuck no. This place sucks."

"...Any devious plans to hurt people?"

"The only one I'm gonna hurt is the dumbass right in front of me if he doesn't lower that fucking gun."

"...Alright." Red Ape lowered his revolver. "What are you two? Skinwalkers? Lycans?"

"What are those? Some sort of political parties?" Naruto snorted, still tense but his claws lowered. He let his tail brush the tip of his whimpering puppy's head before it flicked away.

"Hm." Red Ape huffed and holstered his weapon. "Might want to skedaddle. People might get the wrong ideas about your situation if they catch you looking like this out here."

"Look who's talking." Naruto shot back as he kept a wary eye on the stranger. He slowly knelt down with his right arm curled out and growled. "Pickle, grab on."

Himawari whined, but listened, she clung to his arm and he shifted her to his left side. She buried her face in his chest, curled as tight as she could into a ball for easy transport. Naruto then pulled his phone out and, still watching the Red Ape, dialed a benefactor that owed him.

"Prince Seir?" The name drop had the Red Ape's eyes narrow and his normal hand inched toward the massive revolver he holstered. The static that came back was due to the Prince's distaste for impersonal conversation, but Naruto didn't have time to appease him. Luckily, he was one of the first to sponsor Wild Things Facilitated after Naruto's Friend-For-A-Day with Vepar. "Hey, yeah, sorry for the call, but we're done up here. We need a lift back. Got a local watching me. Might be a little trigger-happy."

The sigil of the Prince appeared beneath his feet and a bullet shattered against the light that emitted from it.

"If I ever catch you up here again, I'll skin you alive!" Red Ape growled. Just as they flickered away, another faint warning followed. "Stay where the fuck you belong, Hellborn!"

(Now: Earth, North America, New Jersey Turnpike)

"I. Love. You." Loona reiterated slowly. Her arms tightened under her chest and she visibly tried not to wince. She failed, but he'd leave that alone for now.

"Yeah, that's-that's what I thought you said." Naruto stared at the She-Hound in his arms. He worked his jaw a bit and tried to force more words out. "I...Fuck, Loo. You kind of caught me off guard here."

Her ears folded back and she tensed in his arms. Oh, fuck. No. Shit, goddammit! Naruto, you are such a fucking moron.

"Do...do...You not–?"

"No!" Naruto blurted before he closed his eyes and growled. He set her back down on her feet and cupped her chin in his claws to tilt her head up. Their eyes locked as he screwed his head on straight and figured out what he wanted to say. "No, I mean–! Yes, I love you, Loona. You are one of the most important Hellhounds – most important demons in my fucking life. You're strong, passionate, and just fucking breathtaking. Sometimes literally."

"...four out of ten."

"Don't critique me right now." He deadpanned and she smirked. Her hands cupped his jaw in a mirror of his own, though one of his moved to her hip. He tried not to succumb to the gentle ministrations she applied to his face with the claws on her thumbs. "Loo, c'mon, I'm trying to be fucking serious."

"Yeah? Well, I'm trying to keep my shit together." She growled and guided him down into a kiss. Shit, she was so fucking addicting, he almost didn't want to let this one break apart. "Being ambushed by Blitzø, seeing you flip out, and leaving Heema with the aforementioned idiot that is my dad made me so fucking stressed. And you, Babe, are my greatest fucking source of fucking stress relief."

"Wow, I feel so loved as an intelligent and sapient individual." Naruto deadpanned. A pair of claws pinched into his cheek and he winced. "Ah! Joke! Fuck, it was just a joke!"

"Didn't sound like one." Loona growled, her ears flat. "Now either get us a fucking room so we can start fucking or find the fucking bar so we can start drinking."

"You are so fucking pushy when you're horny."

"Naruto!"

"Alright, alright, fuck." Naruto huffed around a laugh as he picked her back up and slung her over his shoulder to walk to the desk. He ignored her growls and casually fondled her ass until those growls turned into frustrated whines. Muttered curses slipped out between each sound, and her claws started to tear into his clothes. He grinned widely at the concierge, a poor sixteen year old was riddled with too much acne to be anywhere else tonight. "Hey, buddy. We need a room."

"Okay."

"…Now, preferably." Naruto snarled. The teen stared at him. His eye twitched and he slammed a hand onto the flimsy counter, cracking it. "Dipshit, are you there?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry dude I'm just really kind of burnt tonight." The kid muttered. Another five minutes of angry Loona growls were suffered before Naruto finally got a pair of room keys. The teen did a slow blink of one eye and then the other as he rattled off the motel policy. "Check out is at eigh–"

"Don't care, fuck off." Naruto growled, already rounding on the ball of his foot and storming off toward their room. He almost - almost - broke the door down in his hurry to get inside, both the room and his girlfriend. By the time he did, Loona was panting – he hadn't let the fingers and claws teasing her be idle while he suffered the teenage loser's slow work pace – and her shorts were ruined.

He dumped her on the bed and grinned as he pinned her with one hand. Her claws dug into his arm, she bared her teeth at him while her hind legs tensed and her tail whipped about furiously against his legs

"You fucking suck!" She growled at him as he nipped and kissed along her cute little neck – yeah he definitely had a weakness for small things – fighting whimpers as she did. "I have been on the edge for ten fucking minutes!"

"Wasn't gonna let that brat enjoy what's mine, Loo." Naruto rumbled into her ear. He captured her lips with his and enjoyed a very angry hard kiss before he pulled back and grinned down at her some more. "Love you."

"I hate your stupid fucking face!" She growled even if her tail tip started wiggling against his inner thigh.

"I know you do, Loo. Let me make it up to you and show you." He paused as he started to kiss down her neck, "Just how much I love you. Sound fair?"

"If I don't cum in the next two minutes–!" She growled into another needy whine.

"Yeah, I figured you'd like that." He rumbled as he pulled up her shirt to kiss at the bare breasts that were beneath the fabric, then made his way down that tight and toned tummy she liked to flaunt his way. By the time he was between her legs, she was writhing and whining pleas, praise and promises of violence if he stopped for even a second. So, trying to avoid angering the She Hound further than he already had, he bit into and ripped her shorts off before he dug in to his latest favorite treat.

If she complained about it, well, he'd just buy her some more shorts in bulk.

(Queen Bee's Mansion)

Bee sighed as she lounged in a fresh warm bath of bubbly BeelzeJuice. Everyone had their own solid opinions on the Human holidays, but for Bee the infamous Halloween was always sort of a mixed bag. The Vibes of her Hounds and Party Bitches were the fucking bomb, almost as good as those she could taste whenever she hosted at her parties for specific events, rather than ones that just happened on the regular, but she couldn't really partake in them. Not without seriously getting on Satan and Lucifer's nerves, and for as chill as she was with them – Satan was basically a stupidly sexy brother and Lucifer was a funny ass dweeb that let her get away with all sorts of shit – they still outranked and overpowered her by a large margin.

She thought about her most recent meeting with the other Sins and that thought led her back to thinking about the last time she saw the Foxy Hunk. He was clad in her Horde's uniform...Had such bittersweet Vibes around him. Shit. Her claws drifted down to her snatch and she closed her eyes. Ugh, just thinking about the start of that night was enough to rev her engines.

(Then: Pride, Castle Magne)

"I can't fucking believe this is what you'd have sent me to fucking war in." The Foxy Hunk groused as he tugged at the golden sleeve of plated armor that covered his right arm.

With a hum that betrayed nothing, Bee appreciated the fit of the manica on him for a brief moment – she especially liked the way the dark leather strap tugged into his orange and cream colored coat; Naruto's topless frame could rival Satan's for definition. It also raised a shit ton of questions, like, this was Vortex's friend? Why didn't he have a bod that rivaled Satan's? Don't friends work out together? Ugh, Bee would never understand their relationship, and she knew so much more than either of their circles! – before she leered at the long, dark leather loincloth held in place by a large ornate belt that covered most of his lower abdominals. Both were a similar shade to her dress attire, as was the case with most of the Sins' Legions' gear, but that was all he wore. Why did she leer at such a simple outfit? Well, he was going commando under that glorified man-skirt and she liked ogling what was hers.

Was being the operative word. She couldn't believe she lost another fucking challenge with this hottie of a Hellhound. The blow to her notoriety as one of the Top Ten sexual deviants in Hell aside, not only did she lose out on a way to keep the Foxy Hunk under her thumb – she wasn't actually going to take the Bay-Bee from him, (she's a Sin, not a monster) just maybe hold that over his head for repeat performances whenever she felt like it – and miss opportunities to indulge in some of the best fucking Happy HellPuppy Vibes she's had in centuries, but now – after tonight, anyway – Naruto was going to be relegated back to an honorary position in her Horde, rather than an official one. Just thinking about that was going to kill her Vibes. She shook the thoughts away and grinned as she slowly flew beside him.

"Hey, to be fair, most of the foot soldiers are going to be sent in naked. Count your fucking blessings." Bee shrugged at his incredulous stare. "Believe it or not, I didn't decree it to be so. Take the issues up with the Big White Asshat upstairs."

"I might, don't fuckin' tempt me." Naruto grunted as he walked in a steady stride beside her hovering form up to the gates of Lucifer's favorite castle. Why this became the venue instead of Satan's place, Bee hadn't a clue. She also didn't really care. She landed beside her 'plus one' and pressed on the duck-shaped doorbell.

"...So, what's his deal with ducks, anyway?" Naruto asked, looking down at her with crossed arms. Bee snorted.

"That's one of life's greatest mysteries, Na-Ru-To. Let us know if you ever figure that out and we might be inclined to fuckin reward you."

"...Would it kill you to get my name right?" He asked, a surly sneer on his face. Mm-mm, that made her think of that last all or nothing romp they had last weekend. Shit, she hadn't had a night that satisfying since...Well, since she discovered over abundant sex could fill her Gluttony.

"Maybe." Bee teased and floated up to tweak him on that oh so pleasurably moist nose. The growl he gave her made her grin widen, maybe if she irked him enough she'd get him to 'use' her for more 'stress relief'. "Personally, I think the way I say it is funner."

"I don't think that's a wo–"

"PRESENTING!" The announcing Imp shouted, which made Naruto swallow a yelp and take a wary step back, fist raised much like it had been when she had startled him. Shit, that was such a fucking cute reaction. His ears perked up and eyes wide with a bewildered snarl on that oh-so delicious (and talented) muzzle. She had to make him make that face more often. "The Sin of Gluttony, Queen Bee-Lzebub, and her guest!"

"I feel so fucking honored." Naruto rolled his eyes as he followed her in. Bee grinned and ignored the various Dukes, Earls and Knights that came up to greet her and vied for her attention. She knew what each of them wanted from her and it wasn't her hot bod, endless power or a bitchin' party. Nah, they just wanted her fucking 'pull' with the other Sins and boost their 'status'.

(Now: Queen Bee's Mansion)

"Ugh, fuck. C'mon, you stubborn sexy bastard. Ruin my cunt." Bee growled as she thrust three fingers into her pussy. She bit her lip as she struggled to get over that edge. A frustrated whine slipped out of her mouth. "Fuck. I gotta get him to fuck me like that again."

She nibbled her lip. Maybe she could come at this from another angle? What if she did give the Hunk more territory? Ugh, but that meant negotiations with his benefactors...And they already didn't like her.

(Then: Pride, Castle Magne)

"Yeah, a minute, Marco, I'm hungry," she said to the bird-like bummer of a Marquis that had cornered her with his wife in tow. She turned to look back at her plus one, "Hey, Na-Ru-To, think you c–The fuck did he go?"

"I believe your pet, er, companion was absconded by a Prince–"

"Cool, thanks whatever." Bee decided to ignore the common dig at her favorite Hellborn species – if it always bothered her, she'd never be able to focus on their sweet sweet vibes – and zipped up into the air. Peering around the high-class, boring as shit ballroom gala, Bee found him in a small circle of nobles. Her eyes alighted and she darted over; she'd teach him to ditch her like that.

"..And so with the permissions of The King backing you, I believe we can finally make progress on that other project of mine–Oh! Queen Bee-Lzebub," a Prince that looked like a winged horse's ass, cut himself off to bow to her. Naruto, beside him, glanced at her with a few rank Vibes that quickly vanished. Oh, he thought she was annoying now? He hadn't seen an annoying Bee yet. "A thousand apologies, your Majesty, but I had to borrow your companion. Young Uzumaki has quite a few benefactors here tonight and, well, were his office hours not so chaotic these past few months–"

"You can just say the place still looks 'unseemly' Sier." Naruto muttered around a smirk. He grunted as a boisterous laugh came from the giant Envian that was on his right, a half stumble followed the clap of a hand on his shoulder.

"Unseemly is putting it lightly, lad! The place is still a fuckin' wreck!" Great Duke Vepar chortled. He leaned in to grin and 'whispered' to the Hellhound. "If you ask me right now, I can write off any aid you'd wish for in rebuilding as buttering up a Sin's companion!"

"You know we could all do that, Vepar." The massive draconic Wrathian known as Duchess Lucia deadpanned from where she knelt in the corner. Damn, coming nude was an option? Bee needed to look at the meeting rules again. She craned her neck over to glare into Naruto's face. "Just as you know that this hound would ask me for help before he came for your shipwrights."

"Now, now, Lucia, do try not to start anything, we're all allied here." The horned, chaps-wearing beefcake known as Count Foras hummed as he stepped into the conversation. He grinned up at the big babe and winked. "Save all that spice for the after-party, huh?"

"Go fuck a motorcycle, Foras."

"Enough, both of you!" The crimson camel that was Great Duchess Gremory harrumphed in her bid to butt in on the conversation. She turned to Bee and bowed her head. "I apologize for them, Your Majesty. Had I known we'd be impeding upon your desire for company–"

"I'm not desiring for–! Ugh, forget it. Na-Ru-To. I'm hungry, go grab me a plate of food." Bee glared at him. He arched a brow at her, unimpressed. She curled her lip. "I said–"

"Oh, I heard what you said. We all did." The Hellhound narrowed his eyes. "But I was in the middle of a conversation with my company's sponsors. You know, the ones that actually fucking pay to get me to help them."

"You get to fuck my rockin bod in private parties!" Bee hissed as she got in his face. He growled back at her, and kept his voice low.

"Bitch, how long will it take for you to get it through your party-obsessed head that I am not Vortex Nubis? He might've been satisfied with a place to live, endless parties and an open pass to your pussy, but I have different fucking priorities." He held a claw up to her chin as his lips pulled into a smug smile. "And after tonight, I ain't obligated to do a single fucking thing you say–!"

"Be that as it may, Uzumaki," Gremory cut in, which made the two of them look her way. The Great Duchess had a brow raised and a look of disapproval on her face. Or maybe she had to spit. Bee was thrown by that. "By your own words, just now, you're still obligated to do so tonight."

"Ooh, called out on logic by Gremory?" Foras chuckled and leaned back. "You're on your own with this one, Kid."

"Are you seriously saying–?" Naruto gave the Duchess a look as his Vibes screamed 'betrayal'. Gremory folded her arms and craned her head down to meet his gaze. The sweet piece of ass she brought as her plus one growled and his right eye twitched before he spun on the ball of his foot and trudged for the buffet table. Bee watched him go, his bushy as fuck tail's lash accented the hidden clappable hams she still hadn't gotten to spank into two cherry red orbs. So many fucking wasted opportunities.

"That boy has such a strong will for low-class demon." Lucia rumbled before she downed her barrel. She smacked her lips and glanced down at Bee. "But, we already know you knew that."

"Indeed, Duchess, I believe you have a point." Prince Seir hummed as he locked eyes with Bee next. "Consider this our joint...request, Your Majesty."

"Joint request?" Bee crossed her arms."

"Yes. A request, a meager bit of words that may never truly have meaning other than we spoke them." Foras hummed as he examined his glass. "We are but the Five Faces behind Uzumaki's business. His voices and ears in the Court of Goetia."

"His friends in low places." Vepar chuckled as his eyes gained a gleam in them. Bee crossed her arms and tilted her head.

"The fuck is this, some kind of intimidation attempt? You fucks know who I am."

"Oh, of course we do, Your Majesty," Gremory said, with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "But regardless of your status as a Sin or not, not even you are immune from Courtly requirements. If, say, two of your peers were to join our coalition in a vote..."

"Yeah, like you could get two Sins to agree...With..." Bee trailed off as her ears fell. "Ozzie and Belle."

"Damn, I owe you ten footsoldiers, Lucia. She got there on her own." Foras muttered. Dick. The giant draconic demon smirked.

"She did incur their wrath recently, didn't she?"

Yeah, okay, maybe Bee needed to keep her guard up. Maybe she shouldn't have stuck around with her new squeeze's support group without him nearby. Maybe she should try to make a break for it, go find Ozzie and–

"Quite. I think we all heard the displeasure." Prince Sier mused, interrupting her train of thought. And it was gone. Shit. The Prince swirled his goblet of wine and sipped from it. "Ahh. Where were we? Ah yes, our request. You, Queen Bee, have the advantage of property on your side – the entire Ring of Gluttony, save for the reserved lands, of course. What we'd like from you, if you deem it possible, is to..perhaps, donate a small portion of that to our, ahem, shared interest."

"...To Uzumaki, he means." Duchess Lucia clarified while Bee tried to decipher his strangely phrased request. With the clarification she tilted her head and pursed her lips.

"I'll think about it."

"That's all we ask." Prince Sier smiled as he and the other four lost their rank Vibes. Shit, she just got cornered into considering five Goetia demons' requests all because of one Hellhound. Speaking of that one Hellhound...

"Where the fuck is he with my food?"

"Ah, he's been cornered by Mammon."

"He fuckin what?!" Bee snarled. A group of Goetia was one thing – they wouldn't fucking dare do anything – another Sin? Going after her snack? Not okay. Bee shot over to her plus one's side with murder in her eyes.

"Do give us a response as soon as you're – and she's gone..."

(Now: Queen Bee's Mansion)

"I'd have to talk to Belle and Ozzie too, fuck. Shit!" Bee groaned and scrubbed at her face. "And if I try another deal or something...ugh, shit, I just want to get off! This fucking sucks! I hate tonight!"

She sank into her bath and stewed in her simmering heat. It wouldn't be so bad if the Morningstar Father-Daughter duo weren't so blatantly on the Foxy Hunk's side! Although, given how he got them to side with him, she couldn't exactly blame them.

(Then: Pride, Castle Magne)

"Mams!" Bee forced herself between Mammon and where his slimy grubby hand rested around Naruto's shoulders. She snarled at him. "Hands off the merchandise, dickhead."

"Relax, Bee, I was just makin the little cunt an offer, is all." Mammon chuckled as he grabbed a bucket of chicken provided by Lucifer's cooks. She hoped, because she did the same thing. What? It smelled really good.

"He wanted to buy back a soul I own." Naruto interjected sourly. Bee glanced at him and sweet fuck did that face do something for her. That was the same glare she got whenever she talked about his cute as fuck Bay-Bee. What did Mammon do? Try to buy her?

No lie, if he did, Bee might get in trouble for what she does to him. She'd made it fuckin clear to the Sins that Hellpups were off-limits after she busted up a Puppy Poaching ring that happened under Mammon's nose. They gave Bee the best Vibes every time, so they got the best protection a Queen Bee could give. She even made sure they got orphanages, the ungrateful little shits – No, Bee wasn't still salty about that, why do you ask?

"He's a fuckin' mafioso that you ain't done nothin with, mutt." Mammon sneered. He pointed a chicken leg at the Hellhound. "Y'know, I'd be fuckin careful if I was you. You're the fuckin reason we all had to give somethin up to the Shadows–"

"Yeah, because I had so much control over what wriggling little sperm and egg I was made by." Naruto huffed with a roll of his eyes. He held a finger up. "No offense, Lord Mammon, but King Lucifer already gave me a pass for that."

"..Fuck, he did? Damn." Mammon scowled.

"He did?! When? How–When did you meet Lucifer?!" Bee snapped, glaring at the Hellhound around a bite of the chicken bucket she was topping off. He arched a brow at her.

"Which time, because–?"

"Right now, actually."

Bee did not yelp in surprise. If Lucifer said so, well, he's a fuckin' liar so don't believe him. If Mammon said so, he's also a liar. And if Naruto said so – Y'know, it is moments like this that Bee remembers Hell is just chock full of filthy fucking liars.

How did they have a working legal system again?

"Luci, baby, how ya been, cunt?" Mammon greeted the Short King of Hell with a wave of a very greasy hand.

"Oh, peachy, Mammon. Just peachy."

"I thought apples were your thing?"

"...Oh Look, there's a bunch of easily fooled chumps with pockets of cash just waiting to be spent on some mass produced bullshit surrounded by untouched nachos and cheese." Lucifer hummed as he peered over to his left. Bee looked – what? Untouched nachos and cheese! She was gonna look! – and Mammon was already gone. The King of Hell sighed. "It's so sad how that works every time."

"That marks the sixteenth time I've seen, Dad." A disembodied voice said, making the two canid Hellborn look around.

"Yes, it does, honey bun. Yes it does." Lucifer preened up at the space beside him. Who was-? A shimmer and Charlie Morningstar appeared beside her father. Oh, so that's his plus one. Bummer, Bee was kind of hoping Lilith would be back.

On the plus side–

"Charlie!" Bee zipped forward and glomped onto her niece. It was so satisfying to get a hug back. "Oh, how are you doing, kiddo? Still trying to redeem Sinners?"

"Yeah."

"Ah. Well uh, you got all the time in the world, right? Yeah!" Bee grinned as she broke the hug and backed away. Look, she loved the kid, but Charlie was just...Weird. None of the Sins knew if that came from her mother, her father or if it were contagious. Satan especially gave her a wide berth.

"Nice pep talk." Naruto snorted. Bee absently reached back and flicked him on the snout with her upper left arm. "Ow! What the fuck? You bitch–!"

"She certainly is one," Lucifer said with a laugh. Little bastard. Bee felt her grin strain as she and Lucifer locked eyes. "So, Bee…how'd those Demon Deals go?"

"…It was you." Bee snarled. She flew into Lucifer's face. "What the fuck, Douchifer?! Just because you're suffering from blue balls doesn't give you the right to be a fuckin clam jammer!"

"What the fuck is a clam–? Second thought, don't care." Lucifer waved his hand. He pushed Bee back with his cane. "Listen, Bee, normally I'd keep my nose out of it, but at the rate your Deals were going neither of you were going to win without a push. And, c'mon, you know I'm a sucker for downward dogs."

"Underdog, Your Majesty." Naruto corrected dryly.

"What'd I say?" Lucifer blinked.

"A yoga pose."

"Huh. What's yoga?"

"And on that note," Naruto nodded before he knelt. "Princess Morningstar, Your Majesty King Lucifer, thank you both for welcoming me into your home."

"Ah, praise and respect. I love this feeling." Lucifer grinned. He met Bee's eyes with a knowing smile. "Isn't it grand?"

"I might commit regicide, don't push me." Bee growled at him.

"You can stand, um–?" Charlie looked at Naruto with a nervous smile.

"Oh, where are my manners?" Lucifer grinned and shouldered Bee out of his way. "Char-Char, this is Naruto Uzumaki, your Auntie Bee's latest squeeze and the head of a security company or something."

"Security? You work in security?" Charlie asked, smiling brightly. Naruto stood up and folded his hands behind him, tail swayed slightly.

"Yes, Princess. Among other things."

"Oh, are you Aunt Bee's uh..'toy'?"

"Damn straight." Bee nodded at the same time as Naruto's huffed. "Fuck no."

She glared at him and he glared back.

"I'm only here," he said through grit teeth, to both her and Charlie. "Because it is part of an agreement."

"We should have someone check that agreement, since Lucifer apparently backed you." Bee growled back. She jabbed a claw into his firm exposed chest. "If you are fucking with me in the wrong way, Na-Ru-To, then expect some firm discipline later."

"In exchange for his extended permission to hunt those that wronged me, Lucifer demanded I end our Deals." Naruto growled back. Bee jerked back, a scowl on her face. He said that as if she wouldn't do the fucking same! This ungrateful sexy bastard was testing her patience–!

"And using the Law of Names to do so was pretty slick on your end." Lucifer chimed in. Bee froze before she turned to the Sin of Pride. He grinned at her, toothily. "Oh yeah. That's exactly what he did, and without asking me for advice. You really screwed on the couch on this one, Bee-Lzebub."

"Pooch, Dad. It's 'screwed the Pooch'." Charlie corrected him.

"Really? Weird. Why would anyone screw a pooch? Present company excluded, of course." Lucifer shrugged. "Eh, whatever. Let's go listen to Satan bitch about what concessions he had to make for Bee's fuckup in recruiting Kurama's grandkid."

"Hey, I was doing him a fucking favor! Ungrateful sexy piece of ass...You hear me–uh, are you okay?" Bee stared at her plus one, who was staring at Lucifer.

"...What did you say?" He asked, ignoring Bee. Again. Yep, it's decided. She's beating his meat tonight, both figuratively and literally in the case of his finely packaged hams.

"Hm?" Lucifer blinked and grinned. "Oh yeah, the whole reason we're here? Basically to bitch at Bee for enlisting you, because you're a direct descendant of her Shadow."

"He is?" Charlie gasped and got in Naruto's space. "What's it like?! Dad doesn't let me talk to Matatabi or Shukaku."

"..I don't know, either how to answer your question or who either of those are." Naruto drawled before he rubbed his face. "Fuckin' Rama's my grandfather? Gotta be on Mom's side. Fuck me...So much about my life makes sense now."

"Oh, you didn't know? Interesting." Lucifer grinned. "C'mon, let's get this shit underway."

As they followed the King to where the actual meeting was going to take place, Naruto kept pace with Bee.

"Did you fucking know?"

"About that asshat being your gramps? Not until after you agreed to be enlisted." Bee growled at him. He snarled back.

"It was that or be crippled!"

"That's not my fucking fault."

"Bitch, I have a fucking puppy to think about!"

"You do?!" Charlie gasped, interjecting and turning to look at him. "Do you have pictures?"

"I can't believe you'd even ask a father that question, Char-Char," Lucifer said with a snort as Naruto pulled his phone from...Actually, where did he pull that out of? Bee had no idea. She frowned as she snuck glances over her plus one, and enjoyed ogling his hot bod from this angle, while he showed pictures off to Charlie.

"Aww, lookit the widdle puppy! She's so cute! I almost wanna die!"

"Thank you, Princess."

Whoa, that was a shit ton of 'pride' and 'joy' that just filled the air. Bee really liked that! What's that swish so–His tail is wagging? Fuck, that's adorable. Bee chewed on her lip as she soaked up the Vibes and visuals she witnessed while Charlie gushed over Naruto's cute little Bay-Bee.

...Hey, wait a minute!

"Why the fuck haven't you offered to show me cute pictures of the Bay-Bee?" Bee scowled. The sexy dick didn't even look at her when he snorted and gave Charlie his phone. He was just asking for a rough ride at this point!

"You never fuckin' asked. And you've met Pickle in person."

True. The cuteness and sweetness of the Bay-Bee couldn't fully be captured by digital photography. Wait, hold up, what the fuck did he just call–?

"You call her Pickle?! That is so cute! Oh, Vaggie would die again if she saw these. Can I send–? Thanks!" Charlie beamed as the Hellhound nodded – what the fuck, Bee wanted cute puppy Bay-Bee pictures! – before she cooed at the next picture. In the midst of her adulation of the adorable puppy, the Princess stopped cooing, lost her smile and tilted her head at one before she looked at the Hellhound beside her. "How'd she get cake in her ears like that?"

"I have no fucking idea." Naruto sighed as his shoulders sagged and his ears flattened. "She just...wouldn't stop for two years!"

(Now: Queen Bee's Mansion)

Shit, seeing her new chew toy and Lucifer get chummy was so weird.

Bee groaned and thunked her head against the rim of the tub. Trying to go the 'Horde member' route was out. Trying to get herself in through his company would be a fucking headache and a half because of not only his benefactors but also his staff and two of her fellow Sins. And if she even thought about using his relationship with his puppy – risking her very fucking existence because of the Law of Names she'd inadvertently gotten involved in – she'd have both Lucifer and Charlie Morningstar on her ass!

"There's got to be some fucking way to get him back in my bed!" Bee groaned. She glowered at the bubbles of golden Beelzejuice that drifted up around her. "Vortex was so fucking easy, and hot, and willing, and loyal, and a massive horndog...but this jackass is stubborn and devoted to that cute side piece of his."

She blinked. She grinned. Her stomach growled and she licked her lips.

"The Side Piece! That's it!" Bee clapped her four hands together. "All I have to do is get her involved! ...I should probably learn what her name is...Pretty sure it starts with a 'L'...Well, I can't ask him for it and my system's been glitchy since I overloaded it with that stupid fucking orphanage bet. Ooh, wait, maybe she has a Sinstagram I can stalk her on!"

Bee scrambled out of the bath and flew for her room.

A heartbeat later, she raced back.

"Waste not, want not!"

The tub and its contents were gulped down in seconds.

"Alright, now. To the cyberstalking!" Bee giggled gleefully as she shot back to her room to grab her phone

And why shouldn't she feel gleeful? There was no way this plan could fail! It's not like the two are in love or mated or anything. Even if they were, so fuckin what? She's the Sin of Gluttony, she had a craving she wanted to satisfy, and so she would in any fucking way she could.

It's like what Belphegor always says: Play against a sin and the Sin always wins!

(Earth, North America, New Jersey Turnpike)

The squeaking bed slowed and she laid beside her boyfriend as a little spoon. She moaned as he rolled his hips, fully tied to her, and sighed as he started to nibble at her neck again. His clawed hand traced around her stomach close to a sensitive cluster of nerves on her side. He'd avoid it though, if he knew what was good for him.

"Just... fuck." Loona hissed when his other hand pinched her nipple. "Can we just relax for a sec Babe? We've been going for...for fuckin' hours."

"Well, I'm not exactly going anywhere for the next twenty minutes." Naruto muttered into her neck. She groaned as he found another sensitive spot. Her tail tip wagged into his leg and she heard his tail do something similar.

"Babe, please." She was going to pass out at this rate. "I will suck you off next round, but I need a fuckin' break."

"Well, twist my arm, why don't you?" Naruto chuckled as he lifted his head to rest it above hers on the pillow. She relaxed and nuzzled up into the bottom of his jawline. Naruto let out a pleased rumble. "I thought you said you wanted a break?"

"Nuzzling is a break. Nuzzling is fine." Loona amended and let out a happy whine when he dipped his head back to return the gesture. "Mm. I love you, Babe."

"Loo?" He kissed her on the cheek and then nuzzled her again. "I love you." He waited a minute before he put his lips to her notched ear. "But you have ten minutes to pull yourself together before I hold you to your word. Unless...Do you want to see if I can snap your collar?"

Loona felt her tail wag in gleeful anticipation. Shit, she had the best boyfriend in the entirety of Hell.

AN: Oh, Bee. I love to make people hate you, almost as much as I love to make people hate Vortex. Which is totally weird, because I don't hate either of them. Maybe I think it's sexier? ..I'll have to talk to Myself about it.

But there it is! Halloween's conclusion! A month and change after the fact!

Expect to see some chapters get switched around, and if this is after that happens, there's the explanation for it!