Chapter Eleven

I was too stubborn to ever admit this too him but as we made our way down the main road, I was actually grateful to be in the passenger seat of Paul's truck with the heat blasting over my cold skin and soaked clothes. I was also somewhat grateful for the silence that he was allowing between us because it allowed me the opportunity to rid myself of some of my embarrassment and frustration, instead I turned my thoughts toward how I could move forward from this.

"What are you thinking?" He asked me suddenly, leaving me wondering for a moment if I had jinxed myself.

"Do you really fix cars for a living?" I asked him, figuring that if we were going to have a conversation at all, that it should be one that could benefit me.

Paul blinked in surprise. "Yeah, why?"

"I'm trying out the whole focusing on myself thing." I started, my eyes dropping momentarily when his gaze made an attempt at meeting mine then turned back to the road. "I was thinking that getting a car would be a good start, make all of the other things that I want to do easier. A used car, of course. Nothing too expensive. Ben told me that you sometimes buy fixer-uppers."

I lifted my gaze again to watch his brows lift, his attention clearly piqued. "I can help you with that, if that's what you're asking for."

"That'd be great. Thank you." I said softly and he nodded in response. Admittedly, after how things had gone after the date and even just a few moments ago, I didn't understand why he was so willing to do things like this—giving me rides home and helping me with a car. My mind immediately took me back to the conversation that I'd had with Emily and Leah in which Emily seemed very concerned about how Paul would fit into my life if I were to focus on myself.

"I just think that it's something that he would want to know about it. He told me and Sam about your date. He likes you Aria, more than you think." Emily's voice played over in my head. I'd decided then that I wanted to push, I wanted to test out Emily's theory.

"It's really going to be helpful for me if I decide to start taking classes. I've been looking into going to school in Seattle. It's too far of a drive to make every day though but having a car would make it a lot easier to visit my family for holidays and things like that." I explained, lying through my teeth for the sake of earning a reaction from the man.

What surprised me was that I got exactly what I was looking for, very subtle but still there. His grip tightened on the wheel and his jaw clenched lightly.

"Visit for the holidays?" He questioned being very careful with his tone.

"Well, I mean yeah. I can't realistically drive three hours there and back every single day. I would have to move." I explained, still watching him. "It's not like my brothers need me here anyway. They're happy here, I'm the one that's not."

"You'd just leave?" He asked, his eyes finally turning toward me to reveal something sad and broken behind them, something that made me swallow and feel instant guilt that I couldn't explain.

"I mean, not like tomorrow or anything." I scrambled. "Just… One day… Eventually." I said, sinking into my seat a little with the realization that maybe Emily was right but also with the realization that I felt bad about the idea of Paul getting hurt by me.

Another silence fell over us for the vast majority of the ride and it was only when we neared the house that he spoke again. "It's not safe out there." Paul finally said, drawing my attention toward him again.

"Anything can happen anywhere, Paul. No place is 100% safe." I countered.

"You don't have the same protection out there as you do here." He explained.

"Like what protection, Paul? You?" I asked to which he responded with a slow nod.

As we pulled into the driveway of my home, I couldn't help but feel that there was more that he wanted to say. That there was a weight to his words that I wasn't understanding for some reason. "I know that you're hiding something. I think that you've been hiding it since the day that we met… I've gone back and fourth between wanting to figure it out or calling you out on it, but I don't think that I can keep doing that because it's ruining things. I think I'm done trying to figure it out, I don't want anything to do with it. I just need you to promise me something, okay?"

Based on his expression, he hadn't expected this from me, but he nodded. "What?"

"Promise me that you'll watch over Ethan. That you won't let anything bad happen to him. I also want for you to leave me out of it." I said, watching him as I struggled to get the final words out. It was hard to come to a decision that I didn't want to know what was happening, especially considering that my brother was involved.

"Okay." Was all that he gave in response for a long moment, but then he went on. "I want something in return, though."

"What could you possibly want from me?" I asked, my brows raising.

For a split second, the man seemed somewhat hesitant. "I want for you to not push me away as an answer to all of this. I don't want for you to push me away if you don't understand something or get frustrated. I don't want for you to make me go away."

His words left me speechless. Maybe considering what Emily had said and the way that he reacted to the idea of me moving to another city, I shouldn't have been surprised by his request, but I was. Keeping my distance from him was the easiest way to not involve myself with whatever it was that he was keeping from me but with the way that he looked at me now, with soft eyes searching for acceptance, I felt guilty even considering challenging his request. "Okay, I'll try my best not to." I agreed.

I was finally beginning to feel excited about Paul and I's agreement toward a new normal.

I hadn't made mention of any of it to anyone yet because I felt that saying it out loud would suddenly send us back into the cycle of constant fighting but about a week after our conversation in the car I found myself standing in front of a house, inspecting a small, older model SUV with Paul and ultimately exchanging a couple of thousands in cash for the vehicle being sold by an older man. It was cute but it would definitely need some inspecting before being able to drive long distances but Paul had insisted that it was no problem for him which was what led me in the direction of his address—which he'd texted me this afternoon following my shift at the bakery a few days after we'd made the purchase.

I was unfamiliar with the side of the reservation that we were on now and as I approached Paul's home, I shoved my hands into my pockets, saying a silent prayer that this would all go well but, considering that we didn't get into any arguments when we chose the car, I had feeling that we were due for one soon.

The sound of music playing from an old radio drew my attention to the open garage attached to his home and I found Paul standing in front of my car, the hood lifted as he furrowed his brows, wiping his hands on a rag and tossing it aside on a cabinet that was installed along the side of the garage. "Hey." I said, announcing myself so as not to scare him and cause some sort of freak tool accident.

Paul's attention was immediately drawn to me then, a grin lifted onto his lips. "You found the place." He commented, then looked toward the car. "Honestly, you chose a pretty decent car."

"Thanks, I liked the color of it." I said with a playful grin. It was the truth though, it was a pale, almost silver looking baby blue and at the time, I'd had no idea whether it was a good make or model.

"Yeah, well you got lucky if that's all that you cared about." He said with a chuckle, moving around the side of the car and disappearing from my view for a moment, only to return with a stool, placing it in front of me so that I could sit down. "It runs, there's just a few tweaks that I have to make before it's really road ready. The guy you bought it from obviously hasn't driven it much in recent years."

At his offering of the seat for me, I decided to make myself comfortable on the stool and watched as he turned his attention back to working at something near the engine of the car. "Where did you learn about cars?" I asked, interested in making conversation.

"I guess that I've kind of always worked on them. My dad used to when he was still around and then when I got a bit older, I realized that I could make a little extra money by fixing people's cars around the rez." He explained. "At that point, people were really taking a risk with me. Half of what I learned, I had to teach myself with YouTube videos." He said with a small smirk.

"Should I be concerned that the guy determining if my car is safe to drive earned his mechanic license from online videos?" I laughed causing for him too to let out a chuckle.

"I guess you'll have no choice but to trust me and find out when you give it a test drive." He teased in return—a dynamic that I wasn't quite familiar with.

Honestly, none of this was familiar territory.

Over the next few days, I found myself at Paul's garage nearly every single day following my shifts at work watching Paul work on my car. Sometimes we had plenty to say and sometimes we had barely anything at all to say—leading to mini lessons that I had to sit through, such as what fluids should go where and how often they should be topped off, something that I would probably just ask him to do if he's going to be my new mechanic friend.

Even though I didn't particularly care about learning about car parts or fluids to keep the car running, I was slowly beginning to realize that I kept coming back because I was still enjoying myself. Sometimes, I may have not enjoyed every bit of the conversation but I was enjoying simply being in his presence—something that I never thought that I would say. Coming to Paul's house after work was slowly becoming routine, something familiar and something that quite frankly I started to look forward to everyday.

When were at Paul's place there wasn't the tension that came with being around his friends or even Ben. He also didn't put pressure on his own self to make anything about this a romantic experience, it was just true, enjoyable companionship.

Today, I'd walked up Paul's driveway just as I had the day before and the day before that, fully expecting to find Paul in the garage hovering over my car with his sleeves rolled up maybe even humming to whatever song was playing on his radio but to my surprise the garage door was closed when I arrived. I stopped abruptly in my steps toward his home and considered for a moment whether or not I should just turn and leave. His truck was here, parked in front of the house so I knew that he was home but I suddenly felt hesitant about being here.

Spending time in Paul's garage every evening wasn't something that we planned out every day. I'd honestly started to fall out of the habit of even letting him know that I was planning on showing up, it was reasonable that he could have made plans to do something else. It was also quite reasonable that this was his subtle way of telling me that he'd had enough of me for right now, that I'd overstayed my welcome and this was him trying to politely tell me 'not today'.

With that thought in mind, I swiftly turned on my heel, ready to walk back in the direction of my home but after a few steps, I stopped myself. I'd walked all the way here, the least that I deserved was an explanation. What was the harm in—at the very least—knocking on the door?

I had to move hurriedly up the porch steps to his home and knock on the door before I lost the wave of courage that flooded through me. That same courage had almost completely dried out once I'd stood for so long waiting that I had to consider if he didn't hear it and that I should try again. I was turning away from the door just as it finally pulled open, revealing Paul who stuck his head out of the entrance of his home with sleepy eyes complimented with dark bags and disheveled looking hair. He looked exhausted and I had clearly woken him up from a nap even though he looked so exhausted that it would have been more believable to hear that he'd just fallen asleep for the first time since yesterday.

"I-I'm sorry!" I said immediately, taking a step away from the door. "I didn't mean to wake you up. I can just come back tomorrow."

Despite the look of him in this state, he gave a small smile to me that didn't quite reach his tired eyes. "No, you didn't wake me." He said, his groggy voice telling me otherwise. "I just need a few minutes and then I can start on the car."

"Are you sure, Paul? I really can just come back tomorrow." I questioned, my brows furrowing as I tried to make sense of why he would rather work on a car than get the rest that he clearly was missing out on.

"You should come inside, It's cold out." He offered as stepped aside with the door.

With a simple nod, I stepped into his home and instantly my eyes were moving over the space. I took in the gray walls, hardly decorated with anything at all and the neatness that I wasn't expecting of his space. "I have to admit that I was expecting a bit more of a mess." I said, finally turning in time to catch Paul closing the front door, his bare back momentarily facing me, every inch of muscle prevalent, sending a warm flush to my cheeks.

"What, because I'm a guy?" He asked, though I'd nearly forgotten what I had said by this point. The man attempted to let out a soft chuckle but immediately stopped himself short, clutching at his side as if he was trying to keep himself from falling apart. It was only then that I realized that he was standing slightly hunched forward as he turned to me completely, his eyes meeting my concerned stare.

"Paul, are you hurt?" I asked and immediately, he was shaking his head in response.

"I just pulled a muscle or something. I'll be fine." He insisted as he tried to pass by me, likely to find a shirt in his bedroom. I was faster than him, stepping in front of him and dropping my eyes to see where his hand had gone to and when I found the culprit of his pain, my eyes widened and a gasp escaped me as I stared down at the massive bruise at the side of his ribcage.

"Oh my god," I gasped. "No, absolutely not. There's no way that you are even touching that car today." I said. Frowning, I reached a gentle hand forward to try and touch the bruise but he was already sucking in a breath and flinching away from my hand before I could meet his skin.

"Paul, thats much worse than a pulled muscle." I insisted, immediately grabbing for his rather warm hand and guiding him to the couch where I forced him by his shoulders to sit on the couch.

"Aria, you're making this a bigger deal than it has to be." Paul groaned, staring up at me. Despite all of this, he held onto my hand which made my heart lurch in a way that I couldn't understand. Was I developing a crush on this man?

"You're sitting on this couch until you stop pretending that you are invincible." I said, standing my ground and letting go of his hand to opt for folding my arms over my chest.

"You're bossy." He commented, letting his arm flop lazy beside himself once I'd let his hand go. His words were argumentative but the small smirk on his lips told me that he was finding amusement in this.

"What happened to you?" I asked, ignoring his comment and glancing down at his bruise again with added concentration as to not take in the muscles of his abdomen.

"I hurt myself." He commented easily causing for me to roll my eyes. I'd asked him to leave me out of it. I had to remind myself. Considering that this man was apart of a group of men that seemed to take particular interest in risky activities like cliff diving, his answer was reasonable enough.

"Is this why you look so exhausted? Did this keep you up all night?" I asked, sitting at the end of couch beside him as I tried to decipher just how worried I should be.

"I was up all night anyway, this didn't help much with trying to fall asleep after." He admitted.

"Why didn't you go to the emergency room or something? How do you know that you didn't break a rib or something?" I questioned but I already knew the answer. The guy was apparently too tough to even admit that he'd hurt himself in the first place just a few moments ago.

"I've been through worse and made it out alive." He said casually. To that, I shook my head and stood up from the couch. If he didn't want to go see a medical professional we would just have to try and deal with the bruising so I busied myself by going into his kitchen and gathering ice in a ziplock baggie, then wrapping it in a towel.

Once I came back from the kitchen, I sighed softly as I sat beside Paul again, placing the ice pack carefully over the bruised area. It wasn't lost on my that his hand momentarily rested over mine as he took over holding the ice in place. "Have you been in bed all day?"

"Mostly," He said, resting his head back on the couch as he closed his eyes for a moment, trying to adjust to the cold pack against himself. Considering how warm he always seemed to feel, I wondered how long I would have before I was replacing the ice again. "It's kind of been a pain getting out of bed."

"You must be starving." I said, trying my best to conceal my concerned gaze and failing. "I'll see what I can make." I announced and I did just that, walking into the kitchen and looking through the pantry as well as the refrigerator and finding that he surprisingly enough, had enough ingredients to make a chili.

Initially, I had been anxious to try and cook as quickly as possible but within a few moments of starting, I could hear the faded sound of snoring coming from the living room where he was and considering his state, I was even more concerned about him being able to sleep than I was for him being able to eat so I started taking my time.

When I finally did finish cooking, I carefully carried the bowl into the living room and placed it on his coffee table in front of him, then went to do the same for my own bowl. Both bowls were still steaming so I had enough time to put the rest of the chili into a container for him to have tomorrow and to wash my dishes. When I finally came back into the living room, Paul's eyes were open and his gaze was moving from the two bowls to me. "You didn't have to do any of this." He said suddenly, wincing as he tried to sit up a little from his slouched position but I stopped him. Instead, picking up his bowl and spoon for him and settling into the couch beside him.

As I handed over his bowl and spoon there was something in his gaze that he watched me with that I couldn't quite pinpoint, almost as he were stuck in between a place of surprise and shock that someone was doing this for him but he still took them graciously. "I don't know if you've noticed but taking care of people is sort of my thing, I guess." I said, giving him a hint of a smile as I went in for my own food.

"I feel kind of bad." Paul said suddenly between bites of food after we had been eating in silence for a few moments.

"Like you're still in pain? Do you have any pain medicine here?" I asked, ready to set down my bowl and retrieve it.

"No, I feel bad that you came all this way to work on the car and now you're stuck here with me like this. I know that you were really excited for the car to be ready." He explained, his finished bowl sitting in his lap.

Once I'd taken the last bite of my own, I nearly scoffed in response. "That's the most ridiculous thing that you could say right now, Paul. I don't care about the car—I mean, I do, but not at the expense of your well-being." I offered, moving to set both of our bowls onto the coffee table again now that we were finished with them. "Besides, half of the fun has actually just been hanging out with you."

"That's... actually been the best part for me." He admitted, watching me with soft eyes as he spoke. I wasn't sure if it was because he was wounded and exhausted that he had shared this with me, but it pulled at my heartstrings nonetheless.

There was another moment of silence that fell over us then, his eyes on mine for a long moment before they flickered down toward my lips. Seeing that flicker of his eyes made my heart skip a beat and a soft blush warms my cheeks as Paul leaned in toward me, closing the distance little distance that had been between us as he had sat so near to each other on the couch. His lips brushed against my own softly, in a tentative kiss that he seemed almost frightened of giving me but just when he was seemingly going to pull away, he went in again, kissing me again more deeply to which I couldn't resist responding to as I returned the kiss, my heart now racing in my chest.

When he pulled back, meeting my eyes again, I blinked, leaning into the couch and biting my lower lip. "Is that okay?" He asked me, to which I immediately nodded, still stunned by just how natural it felt—how right it felt.

"I just don't know what it means for us." I said softly, watching as he lifted a hand to tuck a strand of my loose hair behind my ear.

"We don't have to figure it all out in one night." He offered smoothly and it was strange because he was being everything that I could possibly want for him to be in this moment.

"Okay." I agreed, smiling softly at him as he lifted my hand to press a kiss to the back of it.

A/n: Thank you so much for reading! Let me know how you enjoyed this chapter! :)