Chapter 4

The Bennet family was not precisely throwing a ball, but they were having a rather large garden party to let all their family and friends meet the heir to Longborne and share in the joy of Thomas and Franny Bennet finally producing the son they had been trying for the eighteen plus years of their marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet had announced that the seven older children were allowed to plan the party. They were given a budget and a few parameters then let them loose to start planning.

The last five years had seen several changes at Longbourne, the most obvious being that Thomas and Franny both became more involved with the lives of their children. During those years the estate had gone from benign neglect to willful productivity with the home farm positively bustled with activity.

So many things had changed that it was difficult to list them all. The biggest catalyst for change had been Mr. Bennet hiring a Governess for the younger girls. Their governess was of the opinion that a lady needed to know as much about real life as possible and had a list of items they were to learn as they progressed through the school room. She immediately began changing things for the better. Some of the better was an uphill battle.

When the Governess first stated she intended to make sure the girls could do everything their servants could, Franny baulked. When it was pointed out to her that her mother taught her how to set a fine table, what was the difference between their education and what her mother had taught her? The girls settled for some strange hobbies as far as the estate went, but everything settled down eventually. Franny even saw the use of the girls knowing how to start and tend a fire, heat a kettle, and make tea. What the governess did not tell Franny was that they also learned how to pump water from the well, wash the China, and purchase the tea from the shops without being taken advantage of by dishonest shopkeepers with scales that were not standard.

She showed them how to use cuttings from some of the produce to start more vegetables, protect the plants from the variables of weather by building barriers around the farm plots of the more heat sensitive plants and any number of other improvements to the farm. Each girl was to take a part of the whole and make it thrive. She emphasized that the whole farm would work better if the girls each did a particular task for the benefit of the whole.

Thus, five years had passed and Longbourne was now a good place to be.

The girls were all gathered in the front parlor discussing what entertainments they wished to see at the party. Victoria leaned against Jane's leg and waved her hands around as she demanded her daddy fetch the clown from town that they had seen last week performing tricks for the children in Hyde Park.

Jane hugged her little sister and nodded enthusiastically. "That is an excellent idea, Vick. Do you remember anything from the article we read regarding clowns before we went to see him?"

Vick nodded. "Yes. Clowns came from Egypst about five hundert yearsh ago."

Will looked up from the book he was reading to Elizabeth. "I think you meant five thousand years ago."

Vick cocked her head to the side. "Oh!" Then she gave him the gimlet eye and demanded he explain.

He scratched the side of his head as he thought it though. "I do not know. But Lizzy said something about BC meaning there was more time to add in."

Mary listened to the two little ones and decided to help them along. "If you go get the newspaper article from Father, I will read it to you again. Then you can remember more about clowns, yes?"

William nodded solemnly to Mary and ran off to find their father. As he cleared the doorway at a run Franny caught him and swung him up into her arms. "Where are you off to so quickly, little man?"

His head drooped on her shoulder. "Sorry, Mummy. I was going to see if Daddy was in his book room cause Mary said she would read about clowns to me if I brought her the paper."

She gave him a kiss and set him back down. "Please walk, do not run in the house. Daddy is in his book room." She watched him walk as quickly as possible down the hall before disappearing around the corner before breaking into a run again.

Will returned with the paper within minutes causing Lizzy to shake her head at him and ask if he had stolen the paper from Papa again? His grin and vigorous nod had all five of his older sisters laughing. He handed the paper to Mary and crawled up on the settee beside her to listen.

Everyone gave their full attention to Mary as she read: Clowns date back to 2400 BC in Egypt. They were employed by the Pharaohs and were often played by priests. Their purpose was to amuse the royalty."

"What do you think BC means? Mary asked.

Kitty waited until both little ones gave Mary a confused look and started an explanation. "Do you remember how Father John talked about how time is figured in the church?"

Vick pulled her thumb out of her mouth. "He said that Jesus draws the line between old and new."

Her sisters all nodded. "Yes. The BC means before Jesus came to help us." Kitty added. "So, we figure time by adding the year 1811 to the 2400 from before and we get 4211 years."

Will wiggled into Mary's lap to get a better view of the paper. "That means clowns have not been here 5000 years."

Mary tapped Will's nose with her pointer finger. "No, clowns have not been around for 5000 years," she paused dramatically before adding, "Yet!"

Lydia looked up from her embroidery and asked, "Does the article mention any differences between Egyptian clowns and the clown we saw last week?"

Mary went back to reading the article. "No. It does not say anything about the Egyptian clowns except they were usually priests. The information this article divulges describes British clowns and how they have developed since Philip Astley introduced the circus at the end of the 1700s." She frowned as her eyes flickered from one paragraph to another. "Oh, this is interesting. Did you know that there were two famous clowns who worked with the Shakespeare Company? Their names are William Kempe and Robert Armen."

That statement caught Lizzy's attention. "I have read most of Shakespeare's work. I never paid attention to where the clowns enter and exit. Does it say which plays they graced?"

Mary huffed and folded the paper back up. "The only other information it gives us is that the first true clown is Joseph Grimaldi. He uses the persona of Joey and has been working as a clown for the last six years. He copied the use of white face paint from the French clown Petroline."

Jane and Vick were paying rapt attention to Mary and when the subject of white face paint had been beaten to death Jane asked what other items made up the clown costume.

Vick grinned as she pantomimed fluff around her neck.

Jane nodded and said, "Very good. A clown needs face paint and a ruff around his neck. What else?"

Will chimed in with, "Big shoes."

Lydia waited until the two little ones gave up. "They also need a waistcoat and a hat." She smiled in pleasure as she returned to her embroidery. The approval of her sisters meant much to her. The babies meant a lot also, but having her four older sisters' approval meant more to her than she cared to admit. She was of the opinion that her first set of twin siblings had been a Godsend. They had been the catalyst of change and all of it was for the good.

Their discussion was interrupted by Hill opening the door and announcing that dinner was served. However, as soon as everyone was seated, the food had been served, and Mr. Bennett said the blessing the topic of clowns was renewed. Will and Vick both insisted that having a real clown at the party would be splendid.

Mr. Bennett loved his children but there were times he did not give them his whole attention as he should have. When he told them there would be a guest at the party they assumed he meant a clown. They were not wrong.

It happened just as Jane Austin said it did. The Reverend William Collins showed up at four o'clock in the afternoon on the appointed day, bowing and scraping to curry favor from Cousin Bennett. He was a ridiculous mixture of humility and pompousness. By the time the family sat down to dinner everyone had formed an opinion of Cousin William. Will and Vick simply stated what everyone else was thinking.

Will's clear soprano carried nicely as he sat at the table between Lizzy and Kitty, well away from Cousin William who was sitting at the top of the table next to Mr. Bennett. "Father, is Mr. Collins the clown we asked you to hire for our party? Me and Vick want to see him put his face paint on, please?"

Mr. Bennett grinned as he looked down the table at Will. No way in hell was he ever going to admit that the boy had a point. His voice was bland, "What makes you think Mr. Collins is the clown I was asked to hire for your party?" He had missed the clown discussion earlier in the week and was flabbergasted when Will and Vick took turns pointing out why they came to the conclusion they had.

Will pointed out that the Reverend Collins was a preacher. Vick pointed out that Reverend Collins acted in such a way as to amuse everyone with his endless chatter. They simply wanted to know if he also had a ruff, and big shoes. They rather liked his big coat. His hat fit a bit odd also…

Franny was horrified as she listened to the children giggling as they listed his qualifications: He was a parson. He acted ridiculous and made others laugh. His coat looked like it had padding to make him look larger and his top hat did not fit correctly. She flinched knowing that they were correct in pointing out his qualifications. However, Mr. Bennet should have known not to get them started on explaining their thought processes.

Mr. Collins rose from the table where he had been eating enough for three people and tugged the napkin away from his front. "I have never been so insulted in all my given days as what I have endured the last five minutes." His tone and volume were nicely controlled, and he might have pulled off the distinguished act except Mary had pointed to him and whispered to Vick who promptly announced that his cravat did look rather like a ruff and could they please keep him since he was perfect.

Franny shook her head and mock glared at Mary. "For shame, daughter! You know you are not allowed to collect and keep people as one does a butterfly or bug collection."

Collins was so angry he was ready to have an apoplectic fit. He had no idea of what to do and stood there stomping his feet.

Mr. Bennett placed his hand on Collins' arm and bid him resume his seat. When the good parson did as he was told, Mr. Bennett nodded toward the children. "Out of the mouth of babes ye shall hear the truth. Now, what kind of truth do you search for Mr. Collins? We have heard you pontificate on several subjects. Furthermore, the children are correct when they list your qualifications as a clown."

Tears stung the younger man's eyes as he picked up his knife and fork to resume eating. He could not go forward, there was no going back, mayhap he could continue on as is until he could make sense of what was happening. When he first decided to visit Longbourne he was under the impression that he was the Heir presumptive to the estate. That did not seem to be the truth though, because there appeared to be not one, but two young boys at the table who bore the name Bennet. Surely, they were both ahead of him in the line of inheritance. It was all too much to bear.

He took a deep breath and set his cutlery back in their proper places as he fought to control his visceral reaction to being made fun of. The words of his mentor at Seminary echoed in his head. 'Raise your chin so you can breathe in. Hold for the count of three then exhale slowly. Repeat three times. It will help you ground yourself so you do not overreact.' He had great respect for his mentor at college and did his best to live up to the older man's standards.

Mrs. Bennett watched the young man as he fought to restore his calm. When she deemed his centering ritual complete she spoke, "Mr. Collins, I understand that the children have hurt your feelings. That was not their intention. They met a clown last week when we were in London for the day and were greatly impressed with him. The subject of clowns is dear to them at present because they are trying to help plan a party next week to celebrate the twins' birthday. They meant you no harm and we all beg your forgiveness for the hurt they have inadvertently caused."

The words 'clown', 'can we keep him', 'out of the mouth of babes'… It all became a jumble in his head as his mind jumped from the current discussion to what other people thought of him. If babes considered him a clown what was the driving factor behind Lady Catherine De Bourgh hiring him? Should he attend her in proper costume so the world could see what he had become? He had entered the seminary because he had a wish to help others who were exposed to the same childhood elements he had grown up with. Fear, hatred, ridicule; all those things upset him, and he did his best to appease those he saw as having power. What he did not realize was that he was not ready to become a shepherd of the lost sheep. He still needed to learn who he was before he could help others.

As he tried to organize his thoughts, Mrs. Bennet motioned for the children to all leave the table. When he next looked up the room was empty except for the Bennet parents and himself. He was completely confused when they moved to sit on each side of him and took his hands in theirs. It was a surreal experience for him to be touched gently, to be spoken to gently, to be apologized to. The list might have gone on and on if Mr. Bennet had not drawn his attention back to the present by pressing a small glass of brandy into his hand and helping him raise it to his lips.

They waited him out until he finished the drink and set the glass down. "Son, am I correct in assuming that you developed this persona as a way to deal with your family and the people around you?" Mr. Bennett's voice still felt like it was echoing in a tunnel. He managed to shake his head in the positive. "So, what we are going to have to work on is how do you respond to others without becoming desensitized to who and what you are dealing with. Are you with me so far?"

It scared him when Franny first wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him toward her. One minute she was hugging him and crooning about him being a poor boy and the next minute she was holding and rocking a sobbing young man who knew that he had once again failed to fit in. His degree, his job, his life was of little meaning to most people, but here was a complete stranger and his wife trying to help him become the man he thought he already was because others had lied to him and pushed him through a system that took his money, failed to teach him properly, and put him out into a world where he was ill-advised to deal with.

Mr. Bennet let Franny hold the young man, knowing full well that she was off-set by the smell of the man, but she would endure. She would do her best to fix William Collins's problems. She knew working on his personal hygiene was going to be the tip of the iceberg. Mr. Bennet's job would be much more difficult since he would be dealing with the emotional and intellectual constructs Mr. Collins developed as coping mechanisms.

The little Bennets were allowed to observe their parents dealing with Cousin William from another room, but they were told to be absolutely silent. Will and Vick clung to their oldest sisters and watched in horrified fascination. Will finally turned his face up to Lizzy and whispered, "Did Mommy make him cry?" His little face was totally serious as he turned back to the spectacle unfolding and whispered, "I am not sure I like clowns anymore. I do not like it when they cry."

Lizzy hugged Will and choked out, "I do not think he knew that he was a clown until we told him. And he does not act like he wants to be a clown so we might need to stop talking about clowns until after he leaves."

Vick was quick to figure out that if he was here for two weeks then either he would have to stop crying about being a clown, or they were not going to get a clown for their party if they had it while he was visiting. She huffed just loud enough for Jane to hear and question her. "What has you upset, Miss Victoria Lynette Bennet?"

Vick channeled Lydia as she turned flashing eyes back toward Mr. Collins. Her eyes narrowed and her words were an impertinent hiss, "If he is going to be a brat and cry about everything, he is not going to make a good clown anyway. We might just put off our party until after he leaves. I really want a clown at our party."

Jane could barely contain her laughter. The situation with William Collins was not funny. No, it was the way the little ones were reacting to his breakdown which was becoming hilarious. It was obvious that the two of them needed a few lessons in empathy. They knew to take care of their pets, but it seemed they would need a bit more work on how to relate to humans. She bent down and placed a kiss against Vick's cheek. "It is a nice afternoon to go out for a walk. Let's all go to the bridge and watch for the family of bunnies we saw last week."

Her suggestion was taken. Seven Bennets were soon making their way toward the bridge that served as a dividing marker between Longbourne and Lucas Lodge.

They did not get to see the bunnies. The family dog, a rather large Irish Wolfhound, barked when he saw two strange men riding toward them, and forewarned, all the bunnies scurried for safety. Since Kitty, Lydia, and Will were all horse crazy they stopped and made a production of gawking at the rather fine specimen of horseflesh being paraded in front of them.

Both men felt the need to stop their mounts and alight so they could properly show their cattle to the appreciative audience. They doffed their hats to the ladies and received curtsies and a wobbly bow from the young gentleman before introducing themselves. Mr. Bingley had just taken the lease for Netherfield Park and Mr. Darcy was there to be of assistance while Mr. Bingley settled in. They had been out riding the border of Netherfield and seemed to have taken a wrong turn and did not know how to get back to Netherfield Park. Both men were relieved to find they were on the border of Lucas or Bennett property and if they continued down the road they were currently on they would come to the Netherfield exit in another two miles.

Jane noticed Mr. Bingley's unwavering stare as she rose from her curtsy and found that it suited her just fine. Being the eldest, she took it upon herself to introduce everyone to him. Within five minutes the Bennet family had Messers Bingley and Darcy chatting with them as if they were old friends. The men even escorted the ladies back to Longborne to meet Mr. and Mrs. Bennet.

Bingley and Darcy found the Bennet household to be pleasant and unpretentious. They even laughed with Cousin William when he looked at the taller twin and shook his head in confusion while exclaiming, "I thought the larger twin was a boy also. I am quite sure the name given was Victor." They all looked at the grinning girl dressed in short britches like her brother and could not find it in their hearts to complain. They did, however, ask why such an obviously beautiful damsel was larking about as a male.