Summary: Brittany is still feeling hurt after her break up with Todd. She has sworn herself off of dating repressed, egotistical jerks forever until she meets Santana, a grouchy customer at the gift shop who is into Brittany big time. Forget Todd; maybe Santana can sweep her off her feet instead.

A/N: I've been wanting to write a fic based on Heather's quirky redhead character, Judy, in "So Help Me Todd" for a while now. The title is a play on the expression, "Get Behind Me, Satan."

I was joking with a friend that Santana would be a better option for Judy than Todd if she existed in that universe so that's how this fic idea happened.

Full disclosure: I have never actually watched entire seasons of So Help Me Todd, just a few episodes here and there, but Judy's scenes are easily the ones that stole my heart.

There is some Todd slander, more about his relationship with Judy than anything but just a heads up.

***UPDATE: I apologize to anyone who was following it and looking forward to the continuation, I do appreciate your support for that series but the Red Sun and Pink Moon story will no longer be a part of this anthology and will not be continued in fanfiction form. I may possibly share one shots set within that universe in the future but I can't say for sure.

Despite what others might assume, working at the crummy little gift shop in Todd's office building was fun. At least that's how Brittany, who went by the alias "Judy Maxon," felt.

Brittany or rather, "Judy," always found a way to inject fun and humour into an otherwise boring shift. She liked to think of it as one of her gifts, along with her fluency in multiple languages and encyclopedic knowledge of cat diseases.

Plus, this job was the perfect way to hide her super secret spy identity. No one would expect the ordinary gift store clerk was actually a blonde sleeper cell agent in disguise.

"Judy" was just an elaborate persona Brittany created but the more she acted like Judy, the more Brittany herself had been sucked into the world of the ginger-haired hippie environmentalist.

Sometimes it was easier being Judy than being Brittany. She was pretty sure she deserved to win an acting award for it all.

At first, Brittany loved her job even more because she got to see Todd, her secret or definitely not so secret crush, everyday. The infatuation bordered on obsession. Everything changed when they started officially dating. Then everything went downhill from there.

Despite being what her mother fondly referred to as a "crunchy woo woo" hippie environmentalist, Brittany just couldn't help her attraction to rich lawyer types. Something about how stiff and repressed they were set her heart a-flutter.

She looked up hopefully when the former object of her affection walked in but then her heart fell. She pouted when Todd ignored her the entire time he was in the gift shop that rainy Tuesday morning, only giving her curt replies but avoiding eye contact when she rang up his purchases before making some pathetic excuse and rushing away.

Todd had been avoiding her ever since they broke up. Brittany was starting to feel totally taken advantage of. She was also pretty sure he was dating some other girl now. Maybe Todd had only shown an interest in her in the heat of the moment but now that momentary attraction was over after he got used to her and her many quirks.

She had just been back from a soul searching solo trip to Thailand. Brittany hadn't intended to ever return to the place where her ex lived but something in her soul was pulling her back to Lima. At least the trip helped her clear her head. Even her pores felt clearer. Her hair was longer now and her skin had a lot more freckles everywhere but beyond that, she was the same person.

So much for finding herself.

She began to blank out, staring at the back of her ex-boyfriend's head in the distance and remembering what once was, for all of a month or two. Then all of a sudden, she heard the sound of someone's gruff voice demanding something. An unfamiliar, dark-haired woman was clearing her throat, staring at her pointedly from across the counter.

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, apparently. What happened to a little patience and empathy?

Luckily, Brittany was more than accustomed to asshole customers by now. She could either kill them with kindness or be sassy. She tried the first option.

"Hi!" Brittany chirped, tearing her gaze away from Todd to face the grouchy customer and boy was she ever grouchy. Brittany tried her best "friendly and welcoming" face, facing her with a bright smile. She liked to think she could cheer up any customer, even the meanest ones, just by being friendly.

"How's it going? Did you find everything you need?"

The woman's lips parted and she just blinked at Brittany several times in sequence as if stunned into silence. She even dropped the pen she was holding on the counter accidentally, as if lost in a trance.

Brittany tried to ignore how she too felt a familiar pang in her chest and a sense of deja vu, as if she had known this person in another universe. It was like one of those magical moments in a romcom where time stood still as two soulmates finally came face to face. At least that's what Brittany tried to convince herself. She was a romantic at heart.

"You look kind of frozen. Guess that's just the effect I have on people. So, is that everything?" Brittany gave her a bright smile while also trying to draw the customer out of the stupor she seemed to be in. "Anything else I can help with?"

It was impossible for her not to inject a flirty tone in her last question.

More silence. An awkward beat. Brittany continued to just smile in the friendliest way she could as the customer continued to glitch out.

"Oh - uh - um - sorry!" The stoic customer seemed really mortified now as she continued to speak, trying to explain herself awkwardly. "J-just the pen. That's all I need. Thank you."

Now Brittany was finally looking at her properly, she noticed just how pretty the woman was. She had this intense, dark and brooding beauty to her. She was startled now and stuttering but there was still something magnetic and charismatic about her aura.

Her long, wavy black hair framed her captivating face perfectly. She was wearing a form-fitting black blazer over a button up burgundy silk shirt. Her work outfit was so sexy on her and everything about the way she dressed screamed, "I'm super rich." Her lips were full, the top lip being slightly poutier in a cute way that Brittany couldn't help but focus on.

Her jawline and cheeks were so defined. Most of all, those dark eyes captivated Brittany. She had a slim body and was maybe an inch or two shorter than Brittany but she had this powerful aura as if she was accustomed to dominating the corporate world. Brittany wouldn't mind if she wanted to dominate her too…

Brittany wanted to teasingly ask if her red-haired beauty caused the woman to space out but she thought that if she was any more bold she might make her combust on the spot, so she took pity on her this time. Apparently, just looking at Judy once had rendered her speechless.

Brittany didn't let that dismay her and went about business as usual. Her own wavy, strawberry blonde hair was pulled up messily into two space buns in her signature half up, half down hairstyle and Brittany felt she looked good that day.

There was a line forming behind the meek brunette and they were growing increasingly impatient, rolling their eyes as she continued staring at Brittany and dropped her credit card twice when she tried to put it away.

"Thanks! Hope you have a great day!"

The customer only grunted a response before storming away angrily without even looking at Brittany again. Brittany sighed because apparently everyone was angry at her and running from her that day.

Brittany didn't know why she had only seen her once but she couldn't get that mystery woman out of her head for the rest of the day.

It was far from the first time Brittany saw that one customer. In fact, she started coming back multiple times a week. There was usually no one else in the store and Brittany was actually grateful for the company when business was slow, which it almost always was. She began to look forward to this woman's presence more than anything.

Not to mention, it was the perfect distraction to help Brittany get over her ridiculous Todd feelings. He wasn't ever going to want her back. He didn't like her the way she liked him and she couldn't deny it had been such a blow to her confidence when she realized she just wasn't enough for him.

At least now she had a fun distraction.

Brittany was sure no one needed so many pens, yet every time Miss "Repressed Grumpy Lawyer" was in there she bought so much of those and other random junk no one else ever bought. How many mugs and water bottles did anyone actually need? Each time they met, Brittany would attempt to make small talk and say all of these niceties while the woman would be in a visibly terrible mood about something and only reply with unintelligible grunts.

Yet she kept staring at Brittany as if seeing an angel when she thought the gift shop clerk couldn't see her.

Brittany started to tell her all about her environmental causes because at least she had a captive audience.

"Oh no! Oh my God you can't do that."

Brittany said it in the airy, monotone way she delivered most of her remarks but the woman froze and then slowly faced her, panic written on her face and dropped everything she was holding.

"What? What is it? Did I do something wrong?"

"Plastic bags and straws! Don't you care about the sea turtles?!"

The brunette glared at her, seemingly losing her temper and in a way that would terrify a weaker woman. The repressed woman was gritting her teeth and trying to intimidate her but Brittany quickly realized she wasn't at all afraid of this woman.

"Look, no offence but I'm the least environmentalist person ever. You could call me an anti-environmentalist." She had a smug smirk on her face and seemed to think she'd provoke a big reaction from Brittany.

"I can't say I'm surprised but that's not very sexy of you." Brittany quipped but didn't show much emotion.

"Why should I care about the trees and the sea turtles and all that shit? I'm rich. I can just buy everything. So what do you say about that?" The woman scoffed.

"Everyone should care about them," Brittany argued, trying to ignore how stupidly attracted she was to arrogant corporate jerks like this one. "I actually did a master's in philosophy and environmental sustainability - oh and can't forget astrobiology - so you could say I'm kind of like an expert."

"Three master's degrees?" The woman blinked a few times at the ditzy store clerk, as if trying to make sense of what she was hearing. "Astrobiology?"

It wasn't unusual for Brittany to make people totally dumbfounded with her remarks so she took the customer's confused reaction in her stride.

"Six, actually. I believe it's our job to take care of the natural world. What could be more important than that?"

"I believe in a good economy. Besides, human needs are more important than nature. You're naïve."

"That's kind of selfish. There are other living things aside from humans on this earth. I can't believe there are people who only care about themselves but I don't know what else I expected from some rich, spoiled empress who probably has a million servants catering to her every need."

Brittany knew she was going a bit too far and the woman fell into a stunned silence then scowled.

"It's just plastic." The woman rolled her eyes childishly.

"Whatever." Brittany countered, not so maturely, in a snippish tone, trying to ignore how this woman was really mean in a sexy way. The tension rose between them as the woman moved closer and her gaze flickered between Brittany's lips and eyes.

After dealing with her ex-boyfriend, Brittany just was not in the mood for jerks anymore. She turned around sharply, leaving the woman speechless as she pretended to busy herself with something else while no longer paying attention to her.

Brittany wondered if that would be the last time she saw that fiery customer. Yet she couldn't help but think their argument had sparked this passionate feeling in her that she hadn't had with anyone else before.

Brittany pouted next time she saw the customer, not even saying a word other than a polite, quiet, "Hello, how can I help you?" That sounded so cold, even to her own ears.

Damn, she knew she was good. She could pretend to be as aloof and cold as an ice block as humanly possible.

The irritable business exec woman apparently couldn't handle it for more than a minute or two. She couldn't take the silent treatment and wouldn't leave the counter, watching Brittany closely.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot here and that's my fault. I just felt so humiliated after zoning out on you like a complete dumbass the first time we met and then being in such a bad mood ever since when all you've ever been is nice. All you remember is that weird angry person, right?"

Brittany's heart melted and she just couldn't continue giving her the cold shoulder.

"I don't remember 'weird angry person' but I do remember you."

The customer smiled for the first time ever, dimples dancing in her cheeks.

"The truth is, I've just been really stressed and annoyed about work stuff. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I just lost my temper."

Brittany finally gave undivided attention to her. She wasn't expecting this apology at all. There was something oddly soft and sweet about the way the dark-haired woman was watching her.

"I'm just not good with people. I'll try to do better with all the bohemian hippie stuff you like so much even if we have different views on it." The woman grunted.

"Thanks and I'm sorry for snapping at you last time. I shouldn't have made assumptions about you."

"It's alright. I mean, you weren't really wrong in your assessment of me," She chuckled. "I usually would never let someone get away with talking to me like that but you're gorgeous."

Brittany was taken aback but she could tell that the woman definitely would be the type to rip apart anyone who pissed her off. Her face flushed with heat at the compliment.

"You're pretty easy on the eyes yourself." She quipped, enjoying the flustered response from the woman. Brittany was one hundred percent sure that she was right in her assessment that the woman was gay too and the way she was checking out the redhead blatantly yet again only seemed to prove her theory.

The dark-haired woman kept ordering a coffee every day with no milk or sugar. Brittany didn't understand this at all because the poor woman would grimace each time she took a sip from the cup.

Brittany finally took pity on her after watching the Latina struggle through another cup stoically with that miserable expression.

"Hey, maybe we can mix up your order?" She suggested cheerily.

"What do you mean?"

"It's always good to try something different for a change, right? If you trust me, I promise I can come up with something I'm sure you'll love."

"Alright."

The customer frowned as she took a sip but didn't seem nearly as grossed out as she normally was. Brittany was proud.

"How is it?"

"Not bad. Thanks, um… Judy?"

"How did you guess my name? Oh my God. Let me guess - you're psychic!"

She chuckled and pointed at Brittany's shirt.

"Oh right. My name tag. Sorry. By the way, what's your name, Hottie?"

The Latina turned to face her again with a bright smile this time and flushed cheeks.

"Santana Lopez," She rasped, her expression becoming a little cocky and smug as she continued. "I figured you would have heard about me or seen me on the magazine covers. Famous attorney at law, and all. I'm pretty well known."

"Mm hmm. Oh, I see," Brittany rolled her eyes, snorting out a laugh and acting all unimpressed by Santana's ego as she continued in a monotone. "No, I haven't heard of you."

"Hm, is that so?" Santana frowned in disappointment.

"I'm sure I would have remembered you if I did." The redhead replied flirtatiously. Santana practically glowed at this praise.

The next time they saw each other, Brittany had something new for Santana to try and the lawyer didn't refuse. Santana pretty much gagged on Brittany's homemade organic grass juice but to her credit, she didn't even complain about it once.

Santana was too busy scowling at some guy Brittany was ringing up purchases for who was getting all chatty and flirty with the redhead clerk to notice anything else.

"How is it?"

Santana appeared to be startled.

"It's um, totally amazing! Totally great!"

Brittany giggled, letting her off the hook and taking pity on her.

"How about I get you a mocha instead?"

She had never seen Santana look more relieved.

"Please. I mean, sure, we can do that."

Santana was constantly back at the gift shop flirting with her but the second Brittany flirted back, she seemed to forget her own name and turned into a human disaster.

It was adorable to watch.

"How's your day going?" Santana drawled when she walked in one afternoon with dimples curled around a smile.

"It's better now that you're here."

Santana was so smitten with her. It was so easy for Brittany to charm her.

"You know, before I met you, I always preferred blondes but you're making a really strong case for gingers," Santana leaned over the counter. "What's a beautiful girl like you doing working in a place like this?"

Damn. So apparently Santana did have a suave side after all.

Brittany flushed bright pink, thinking about her natural hair colour which was a light cornsilk blonde. She had recently dyed her hair this reddish colour again.

"Are you flirting with me, Ms. Big Shot Lawyer Lopez?"

Santana chuckled but didn't deny it, only turning up her flirtatious side even more.

"You look so cute when you blush, Judy. I can tell that you're a natural redhead."

"Uh, yeah, totally, you got me. Irish blood, ya know? It's more of a strawberry blonde I'd say."

She was actually mostly Dutch and Scandinavian with some German thrown in - and probably zero Irish blood - but no one needed to know that.

"Yeah, whoa, you're right. Strawberry blonde. You look," Santana took a deep breath. "You look like an actual angel, you're just so beautiful."

After she said this Santana winced at herself, covering her mouth with her hand as if she was afraid she'd gone too far. She chuckled awkwardly while heat flooded Brittany's cheeks.

No one had ever complimented her like that and made her feel so desirable.

"Is that what you really think?" Brittany felt like doing something insane like risking it all and kissing her right there.

Of course, at that moment, Brittany caught a glimpse of a familiar figure creeping into the shop. She groaned inwardly, staring in Todd's direction. Brittany just wasn't in the mood. Santana noticed that Brittany had zoned out and scowled, crossing her arms over her chest when she noticed who the blonde was watching.

Brittany said nothing to Todd, avoiding his gaze and rang up his purchases while treating him just like she would any other customer. When Todd finally left, Santana turned to her grumpily as if sensing the history between Brittany and the guy.

"What's your deal with him?"

"Todd? Oh, nothing."

"I know it's something. You always just stare at him and zone out whenever he's anywhere nearby. It's hard not to notice." Santana said it like it was the worst thing she had ever heard, her tone dripping with some heavy, negative emotion.

Brittany felt her face heat up slightly since she had been caught. She hadn't realized she was being so obvious. Santana could be pretty perceptive and judging by the look on her face, she wasn't the biggest fan of the guy.

"We used to date. Didn't really work out." Brittany admitted.

Santana's face fell in utter despair like a kid whose ice cream cone had just fallen in the mud. She quickly covered it up by grimacing and responded in a sarcastic drawl with a dramatic roll of her eyes. She was silent for a long time and looked like she wanted to say something a lot worse but eventually settled for something with just enough venom in it.

"That's what I assumed. Let me guess, you're still in love with your oh so wonderful ex."

"What's it to you?" The corners of Brittany's lips curved upward slightly in a playful smirk. Santana sputtered, evidently taken aback. She shrugged, trying to play it cool but Brittany could hear the irritated edge to her voice.

"I just didn't think you'd go for a guy like that. I just thought you'd aim higher."

"He's not the worst person in the world." Brittany admitted with a shrug. Santana grimaced again and tensed up, her back rigid and jaw set.

"That's a matter of opinion. Sorry, didn't mean to criticize your oh so perfect lover boy," She sneered, "Anyway, I have to get going. Have an important meeting that I'm late for."

Brittany blinked, not expecting their banter to end so abruptly. She thought they were just teasing each other like they sometimes did. Santana wasn't normally ever this harsh toward her.

Santana walked away with an unreadable look on her face, leaving Brittany to wonder what had put the woman into such a dark mood all of a sudden.

Santana kept coming back and she didn't hesitate to insult Todd at every chance she got. Brittany knew not to bring up the topic of her ex around Santana because she would instantly become all surly.

"So, what's so great about Todd anyway?" Santana muttered, stabbing a pen into the paper of the notepad she was writing on with excessive force. It was the third time she had demanded an answer to that question that morning. Brittany was amused but surprised because she had never seen Santana so grumpy and rattled about anything. "Even his name is stupid."

"I don't know. He's just Todd." Brittany mused, pursing her lips. She wasn't exactly the guy's biggest fan these days but she did remember a time when one look at the guy made her feel like a giddy school girl. Santana's face crumpled and she grunted in annoyance.

"I'm way better looking and I have way more money."

"I didn't realize it was a competition." Brittany giggled, though she didn't deny the fact that Santana was way more attractive.

"I hate that guy." Santana grumbled into her drink. Brittany went back to packing a shelf behind the counter with an amused roll of her eyes.

The next Monday, Brittany was on the verge of tears. Her boss totally chewed her out for no reason at all.

Santana had just walked into the store and stormed up to them in a fury.

"Hey, don't you dare speak to Judy like that!"

"And who are you?" Her boss scoffed.

"You wouldn't last a second in her role! Neither would I. Don't you know how hard it is serving all of these asshole customers? She deserves better and you're just lucky she still does you the honour of working here."

"Fine, whatever." The bad-tempered man eventually stomped off, leaving them alone in the store.

"Whoa, I wasn't expecting that. Thanks for defending me." Brittany replied in a soft tone.

"No problem. I lost my temper because I hate to see that bitter old jerk being mean to the sweetest, prettiest girl ever."

"Is that really how you see me?" Brittany was beyond flattered. "The way you spoke about me to my boss?"

Santana nodded, ducking her head with an endearing shyness.

"Judy, I just hope I didn't cause you to lose your job back there. Just so you know, I'm totally willing to pay your rent or anything else."

"So I can be your sugar baby." Brittany winked.

Santana stopped dead in her tracks and turned an aroused, dark gaze on her.

"Oh is it hot in here or what? Did you really come in here everyday just because you wanted to see me?"

"Maybe. Was a little obvious, huh?"

"A little." Brittany realized she had her hand on Santana's arm, trailing her fingertips along her forearm. She always needed to be touching Santana and it wasn't just because she was a tactile person. Their moment was interrupted by Brittany's co-worker suddenly rushing in and Santana stepped away, clearing her throat.

The last thing Brittany wanted to deal with was her arrogant ex-boyfriend being all over her out of nowhere. She was pretty sure she got her Todd feelings out of her system and it annoyed her that he was suddenly all over her when she was more than done with him.

People always seemed to want her more when she wasn't into them.

"What do you want, Todd?"

He grinned and it was the friendliest look he had given her in ages. She didn't understand why he was suddenly being all affectionate.

"Just to chat with you."

"No. You played with my emotions and it really hurt my feelings. You ignored all my calls and texts. It really broke my heart, you know."

Todd sighed deeply.

"I know, I know and it sucks but this time will be completely different, I promise."

Brittany bit her lip, feeling anxious about what to do. She really didn't want to get all close to Todd again and this whole thing gave her a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach but he really was flirting up a storm. Todd could be so insistent.

"Did you do something new with your hair? I swear you've never looked more beautiful. It's like you're glowing."

Brittany winced. Todd had never called her beautiful before. It felt fake. He never complimented her at all, except maybe once or twice at the beginning of their relationship. It was always Brittany being the one to praise him. His lack of interest in Judy made her feel worthless and undesirable.

Brittany glanced around the room, looking for something that could help her out of this uncomfortable situation and she was surprised to see Santana. Usually the second Todd was around, Santana would storm away or make some excuse about some client or boss she had to meet with.

Brittany saw that Santana was listening in to the whole thing in rapt attention before grumpily pushing her way through the line of customers who had gathered. She was kind of embarrassed that Santana was seeing her like this, all timid and indecisive, but she didn't have it in her to give in to Todd. She didn't like confrontation and it took everything in her to stand her ground.

"I don't want to hear it." She finally snapped at Todd when he began going down the same line of trying to butter her up.

"Hey, whoa, I said I was sorry a million times. Just go out with me, Friday. One night, just you and me. We can make it work again."

Brittany's jaw dropped at how brazen and annoying he was being. Even though every part of her was done with Todd, she wondered if she was making the right choice. Was he her last chance to find happiness with anyone?

Before she could say another word, she felt something soft and warm pressed against her lips.

It wasn't Todd.

Santana was kissing her. Brittany whimpered when Santana's face and lips were against hers but her eyes slipped shut because Santana's warm lips distracted her from her train of thought. Santana's lips were so hot, heavy, and unyielding against hers, her hand cupping Brittany's cheek softly. Brittany almost forgot about where they were and what she was supposed to be doing. She forgot about Todd's existence as she whimpered, leaning in closer to Santana.

Santana pulled apart and Brittany gasped when logical thought caught up to her.

"Santana?!"

Brittany was wide-eyed but she couldn't deny that the kiss made her feel tingly all over, even if the counter had been in their way and Santana couldn't wrap her arms completely around her waist the way Brittany really wanted her to if Santana was gonna do something like that... It was way better than Todd's kisses. Way better than any of Brittany's exes' kisses. There was a sense of desperation to Santana's liplock and Brittany had kissed a lot of people in her life but she felt she had never been truly kissed until now.

Santana had smooched her for so long that Brittany kind of zoned out and forgot she was a gift store clerk. Santana was now glaring at Todd with her arms folded against her chest and her lips pursed.

Oh. Oh.

Now Brittany understood. So that's what all the snippy remarks about Todd had been about. That's why Santana was always annoyed when other customers flirted with Brittany.

Santana hadn't been able to handle watching Judy with Todd so this was her way of cutting in and claiming Judy as hers.

Santana apparently remembered that she should be embarrassed now. Some of the other customers were snickering or shrieking about the kiss while others were laughing at Santana and most were just staring in shock. The lawyer pretty much freaked out and ran out of the store before Brittany could even get her to stay and talk.

Meanwhile, Todd, who had finally recovered from his own shock, just grunted in annoyance and seemed to realize he wasn't going to get Brittany's attention, especially after that, so he stormed away in defeat.

Damn, Santana knew how to kiss. That was one helluva way for Santana to show Judy she wanted her.

The heat didn't leave Brittany's face long after Santana left. At least Santana had succeeded in getting Todd to leave her alone. The Todd-sized hole in her heart was definitely getting filled by Santana. Maybe if she was lucky, she could get another hole filled by Santana too.

"So that's why you don't like Todd, huh?" Brittany smiled when she saw her again, getting right to the point. "You're jealous."

Santana practically choked on her mocha. Nothing could bring Brittany's mood down.

"I-I'm not."

"You totally are. It's super adorable."

Santana couldn't deny it at this point.

"So um," Santana cleared her throat and looked down at her shoes, obviously pretending to be disinterested. "Did you say yes to him?"

"Huh? After you did all that? I didn't even remember he existed after you kissed me."

Santana seemed beyond proud and pleased, a wide grin taking over her face as her eyes brightened.

"So why did you kiss me?" Brittany already had a feeling she knew the answer but she really wanted more out of her relationship with Santana. Besides, it was really fun to tease Santana.

Santana looked like her brain was short circuiting.

"Uh um, I... Sorry, have a meeting to get to."

"Hate to see you go but love to watch you leave, Babe."

It was cheesy but Brittany couldn't help but say it. Santana turned around sharply, blinking rapidly as she marched up to the counter.

"Are you flirting with me now?"

"Have been for the past two months. Thanks for noticing." Brittany sassed.

Santana shifted her weight awkwardly, biting on her lip and her eyes darted around nervously.

"I wondered if you were but I couldn't be sure. My coworkers, Rachel, Tina, and Mercedes told me you were totally flirting but I was so sure you were just being friendly. They even called us JudyTana. I mean, besides, the way you handed that coffee to that other customer two days ago seemed flirty, so I wasn't sure if I was reading too much into our banter."

"Were you really moping because you thought I was flirting with some other customer?"

Santana nodded, focusing her gaze on her shoes. Brittany leaned closer.

"That's incredibly cute."

Santana still seemed on edge. She was either horny or stressed from work, or maybe both. Brittany would love to help her with that.

"Hey, you seem really tense lately. I know just the thing to help you relax. Your body needs it."

Santana's mind was clearly in the gutter as she smirked.

"You don't mean - ?"

"It'll be so much fun. You just need to get your body into alignment... you know, ease the tension. It'll feel really good."

Santana's eyebrows rose and Brittany was sure the last thing she expected was to be taken to a yoga class for their first official date. Her facial expression when she realized what Judy had planned was priceless.

"Yoga!"

"Y-yoga?"

Santana was so not a yoga person. She was the opposite of a yoga person. She had zero patience for it.

It was comical to watch but she seemed to enjoy observing Brittany instead. More accurately, Brittany had caught Santana staring at her ass several times and she made sure to show off every bend and split.

"You're really flexible."

"You bet I am." Brittany winked. Santana seemed so hot and bothered. She shifted from side to side, adjusting the collar of her shirt and was red in the face.

Suffice to say, Santana nearly threw her back out in just one class and limped around in pain when it was over, cursing loudly several times.

Brittany was surprised she was even getting a second date after that ordeal but Santana was watching her with her dark, smouldering gaze when they were alone again. Maybe she was still caught up in how flexible Brittany was.

"You know, for an environmentalist, you sure are into rich business exec types." Santana teased.

"I know. I just can't help it." Brittany sighed and laughed. She had been holding back on the whole annoying environmentalist thing and not suggesting any of the hundreds of organizations she thought Santana could donate some of her millions to. Though, to her credit, Santana hadn't been mocking Brittany's quirks at all either.

"Can I see you again? I know the perfect place."

Brittany giggled, flipping her hair back over her shoulder flirtatiously.

"I can't wait." She purred.

Brittany had to hand it to her, Santana had clearly done her research to find this underground hipster vegan spot. Even Brittany hadn't heard of it before.

The problem was that Santana was already starting to look green in the face after trying one appetizer.

Santana was obviously not used to this food. Brittany didn't want their date to be ruined if she got sick from the tofurkey roast. She placed a hand on top of Santana's to stop her when Santana went to pick up her fork again.

"Hey, you know what? There's this other really fun place we can go to instead. I'm kind of not in the mood for organic today."

Santana appeared to be incredibly grateful and relieved.

"You take me to the nicest places, Santana." Brittany joked.

"I'm surprised you even eat here." Santana chuckled, taking a bite of her quarter pounder. She had ordered a Happy Meal for Brittany at her request.

"Hey, I'm only human and this is really good." Brittany shrugged.

"You could not be more adorable." Her date grinned in amusement as she watched Brittany nibble on her Happy Meal items.

Their next date was a shopping date. She saw the way Santana's face lit up at the idea, only to look comically dejected when Brittany lead her to a dingy thrift store instead of a high end mall. Santana walked her to the car when they were done and seemed to be in a daze. Brittany glanced at her sadly.

"Is this okay? You've been really quiet. I know our lifestyles are pretty opposite. I'm kind of worried that you might get bored of us being so different. Are you tired of me?"

Her biggest fear was that Santana would lose interest in her like Todd did. That maybe she'd be too weird for Santana to handle.

Before she could get another word out, Santana was pushing her up against the car door and Brittany sighed softly when she felt those hot, full lips against hers again. Brittany was breathless and flushed when Santana finally released her.

"Does that answer your question?" Santana's voice was breathier than she had ever heard it.

"I think it does."

"It's impossible for me to be tired of you. You're so cute and fun and the most interesting person I've ever met. I love talking to you. I've been quiet because I've been trying to restrain myself and not totally jump you on the spot." Santana explained quietly with that lustful look in her dark brown eyes again and Brittany couldn't help but kiss her hotly again.

They barely made it into the car before Santana pulled her in by the waist and kissed her possessively, her hands squeezing at Brittany over her bra and then moving down to hover dangerously close to her ass as she nibbled at Brittany's earlobe. A tiny whimper escaped Brittany's throat.

She definitely felt a million more sparks from Santana kisses than she had ever felt with anyone else. She felt so safe and grounded in Santana's arms, like she belonged there in a way she never felt anywhere else.

She and Santana continued to makeout for the longest time and she could tell Santana wanted way more but she was being respectful. Brittany started to kiss Santana's neck and felt her shiver against her, groaning low in her throat and making the red-haired woman giggle.

"Hey, do you want to go back to my place?"

Santana's gaze darkened with obvious arousal and she squirmed, shifting her weight from one leg to the other then pressing her thighs together as she sucked in a breath.

Brittany caught Santana's eye with a sideways smirk, knowing that she could tease her about how horny she obviously was but Santana was cute with that desperate look on her face.

"Sure." She panted, her eyes lighting up but then cleared her throat and looked away when she realized how eager she sounded.

Brittany could tell Santana was feeling uncertain as she walked around the floor. That was kind of expected considering the amount of cardboard the ginger woman had everywhere. Brittany's "apartment" on the abandoned twenty-eighth floor of an office building wasn't exactly conventional.

Brittany did have to hand it to Santana, she wasn't even complaining or being rude about any of it, even the clothes line and her cardboard nightstand. Or the new cardboard bed she had recently created for herself ever since a homeless person stole her table bed.

"Are you freaked out? Don't worry. I'm not squatting forever. It just allows me to save some money."

"No, it's um, totally fine. So um… where exactly do you shower, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I had a feeling you'd ask that. I sort of have a thing. First, there's something else I really need to tell you. Judy isn't my real name…"

Brittany was surprised when Santana seemed extremely aroused as soon as the blonde had finished admitting everything about her secret life to her. She pushed Brittany back into her cardboard bed and kissed her with intensity.

"I wasn't quite expecting this reaction to me admitting my secret life. New kink unlocked?"

"I think so," Santana grinned. "So… It's Brittany, huh? I like it."

"Better than Judy?"

"Judy's a cute name but Brittany's even sexier."

"Oh yeah? What do you think your alias would be?"

"Collette. I don't know why, I just hear that in my head."

"I like it. It sounds all regal and strong, like you. I think Collette and Judy would be really hot together."

Santana was pretty much all over her after that but she seemed apprehensive about the idea of fooling around on cardboard.

When it finally happened, it was just as spectacular as Brittany imagined it would be. Santana's hands roamed all over pale, soft skin. Brittany couldn't get enough of Santana's hands on her body stroking every curve, learning every sensitive spot that turned Brittany on and her lips pressing insistently against hers.

"You're so pretty." Santana gasped into her mouth and Brittany could hardly think straight with Santana so deep inside of her but she felt her cheeks flush as Santana openly admired her face and body as if she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Santana was the only one who ever treated her like a princess.

Brittany didn't know why she was surprised that Santana stayed the night but she couldn't deny the rush of happiness that spread through her when she felt the warmth of her lover curled around her protectively and her steady breathing the next morning.

"What's wrong?" Santana asked with a cute look of concern when she noticed the downcast expression on Brittany's face when she appeared in front of her.

"The showers are flooded again. I use the one in the gym. That happens sometimes. It's the worst. You know, one time I swear I almost got a fungus from being in there…"

Maybe the last part was TMI and Santana made a horrified face but then was distracted by Brittany's cuteness. At least Santana wasn't judging her for not having a lot of money and living in such a crappy place.

Santana stroked her hair gently, making hot desire grow in Brittany low in her core as it made her remember the way Santana pulled her hair the night before.

"Britt, I have a solution. I don't want you to have to deal with those grimy, disgusting showers, no offence. We both need to get washed up. Why don't we just go back to my place?"

"Thought you'd never ask." Brittany quipped.

Of course, Santana had the penthouse suite. Brittany could have predicted that one. She shouldn't have expected anything less.

"Do you mind if I wash my clothes? I kind of ran out of stuff to wear."

It was kind of embarrassing to admit she had nowhere else to launder them.

"Of course. You don't even have to ask. I'll help you do that."

What Santana wasn't expecting was for Brittany to just sit around there in a towel the entire time her clothes were in the washing machine.

Maybe Brittany deliberately let it slip a few times to expose her nude body in front of Santana too.

The unresolved tension between them intensified and Santana seemed to be driven insane by Brittany in a towel. She finally pushed Brittany down and kissed the daylights out of her, peeling that godforsaken pink towel off and wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist completely.

"You and that damn towel have been driving me crazy."

"I can tell."

Brittany dashed off into the shower with a tiny, playful smirk after a final press of her lips against her lover's.

"This is way better than the gym shower. Your shower is really nice." She hummed when she heard Santana walk in. She was wondering how long it would take for Santana to give in.

"I can make it even nicer." Santana purred seductively from behind her. She jumped in with her, slipping her arms around Brittany's waist and holding her tightly as she began to trail kisses down the back of Brittany's neck. Her bare body was flush against the pale woman's.

"You know, if you lived with me you'd never have to work again. I'd buy you anything you want, Babe. I love spoiling you. Let me take care of you." Santana spoke seductively, her lips tracing her jaw and Brittany didn't know why hearing that made the ache inside of her build. She clenched her thighs together.

Santana turned her around to face her, slipping her hand up between her thighs with a low chuckle as she felt the way Brittany was dripping for her.

When they finally made it into Santana's king size bed after two rounds in the shower, Brittany lost all coherent thought. Of course, that also had to do with the fact that Santana really knew how to ravish Brittany with a strap on. She wrapped her long legs around Santana's waist, barely registering all of the sighs and moans that were escaping her own lips as Santana established a rhythm, thrusting forcefully into her.

She stroked Brittany's hair, trailing kisses up her neck and drawing a whimper out of her at a particularly rough thrust. Brittany tossed her head back in pleasure with a cry of Santana's name.

"More comfy than the cardboard, right?" Santana was smug in the afterglow because she knew she had just made Brittany come for the fourth time that night. Brittany hummed, deciding to tease her and tangling her fingers in long, black hair as her lover nipped at her ear. Santana was so cuddly and warm in the lassitude of her own orgasm. Her black silk sheets were also really nice.

"I don't know. Cardboard just has a certain aesthetic. Plus, it's good for the back, ya know?"

That got a laugh out of Santana. She snuggled closer to Brittany, nuzzling into her neck and the gift shop clerk sighed blissfully as she allowed herself to enjoy this moment between them. Brittany watched Santana curiously when she hovered above her now with a rare trace of vulnerability in her voice and a softness to her dark eyes.

"I mean it when I say I'd really love it if you moved in with me officially, forever." Santana admitted shyly as Brittany's eyes lit up and she squealed, throwing her arms around her girlfriend.

Brittany ended up doing just that, though she brought her cardboard creations with her.