"Don't think…I can take this much longer," Ben groaned in discomfort.
"Just hold on," said Max gravely. "Almost there."
"Can't…breathe…." Ben wheezed.
"Ben, don't give up on me now!" Max cried drastically.
"Gotta…get out of here," Ben groaned, weakly reaching for the Omnitrix. "Going…hero…."
"Aren't you being a little overdramatic?" said Trixie from the opposite side of the Rust Bucket, giving Ben and Max a dry look. "It's just a tuxedo."
That being said, she couldn't deny how uncomfortable the suit looked from a distance, or how…unnatural Ben's appearance was.
Ben frowned as he stared at himself in the full-length mirror. He grandpa had shoved him in the ugliest maroon tuxedo known to human existence that felt two sizes too small. This horrid abomination he was forced to wear came with a frilly white shirt, a bowtie that was cutting into his throat, and weird strap thing called a cummerbund. But the worst thing his grandpa could've done was slap on copious amounts of hair gel on his head, which made him look even more like a dweeb.
"Stop fidgeting, Ben," said Max. "I just need to make sure this tux fits."
"Better loosen that bow tie Grandpa," said Gwen mockingly. "Ben's brain needs all the oxygen it can get."
Despite being a jab, Gwen was right – the bowtie was dangerously cutting off the circulation. Max readjusted the bowtie slightly, which was enough to allow Ben to breathe normally again.
"The only thing going worse than going to a stupid old boring wedding," Ben complained, "is being in a stupid old boring wedding. Why can't they find someone else to be the ring bearer?"
"It's only for one weekend," said Max. "You'll live."
"I for one am glad we're here," said Trixie, looking out the window at the massive country club building that was serving as the site for the aforementioned wedding. "It's fascinating to be able to witness the bonding rituals of another species."
"I'm so excited to be a flower girl," said Gwen enthusiastically, hugging the wedding invitation to her chest. "I've never been one before."
"This tuxedo is a family heirloom," Max told Ben proudly. "It was mine when I was a kid, then your dad wore it, and now you."
"Oh, lucky me…," Ben mumbled sarcastically.
"Just be careful with it please," Max requested,
"Oh, Ben…," Gwen called in a singsong voice. Ben rounded on his cousin, gasping horrifically as she held up her phone threateningly. "Smile for the internet."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ben wailed in despair as Gwen snapped the photo, uploading it for the whole world to see.
If not for Max's intervention, Ben would've ripped the tuxedo to shreds and claim it was an accident. Either way, he was just relieved to be out of that ugly cloth prison, even if it was to check out the wedding venue.
The country club was big – comparable to a mansion – but the actually wedding would be taking place in the lake behind the building. A decorated gazeebo on the edge of the lake stood out with dozens of folded chairs facing the same direction, likely where the actual ceremony would be taking place. Trixie thought it looked like a wonderful place to enact a human courtship ritual…except for the swans. She could tell those evil, malignant monstrosities were plotting something, and Trixie had her eye on them….
"Ugh, look at this dump," Ben complained loudly, earning a glare from his cousin. "Makes you wanna hurl, doesn't it?"
"Only you could look at this place and call it a dump," Gwen grumbled exasperatedly.
"Uncle Max! So glad you could make it!"
A young couple was walking around the edge of the lake heading their way. One of them was a well-built young man with a crew cut that made him look like he belonged in the military, and his partner was a fair-skinned woman with strangely glossy and bright red hair tied up in a bun.
"Joel, good to see ya!" said Max brightly, giving the man named Joel a quick hug. "And this must be Camille. Congratulations to the both of you."
"Thanks, but I really need a favor from you, Uncle Max," said Joel, sounding desperate. "Do you think you could talk some sense into my parents?"
"Why? what's the problem?" asked Max, worried.
"Max!"
Now two more people were coming from the other side. The man of the pair was the same age as Max, but was more well-built in the upperbody and had more white in his hair in addition to his mustache. He seemed distinctly fond of the cowboy style if his coat and hat were indicators. The woman beside him was thin-faced and had sharp, critical eyes behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses, which seemed to be rested squarely on Camille.
"Betty Jean, Gordon," Max greeted, shaking the man's hand politely.
"Ah, Max, we're so glad you're here," said Gordon. "Maybe you can talk some sense into these kids."
"What's going on?" Max asked curiously.
"Ah, they don't know what they're doing," Gordon claimed, resting his arm on Max's shoulder. "This whole wedding is a terrible mistake."
"The whole wedding is a terrible mistake?" Max parroted surprisingly.
"See, listen to your Uncle Max," said Gordon, ignoring the bewildered expression on Max's face.
"Excuse me for saying," Trixie spoke up, "but I was under the impression that this was their decision to make."
"Who's the kid?" asked Gordon, quirking a curious brow. "Another niece or grandchild? It's hard to keep track of everyone in this crazy, mixed up family."
"No, she's not related to us," said Max amusingly. "This is Trixie. I guess you could say we're looking after her."
"Though it's usually the other way around," said Trixie, shooting a look at Ben. The wielder of the Omnitrix crossed his arms in a huff.
And that's when even more people started showing up (seriously, where were they all hiding jut now?) One was an unassuming man with salt-and-pepper hair and half-moon glasses, the other was a brunette that held an expression like she was above it all, and both of them were being followed by a man in a suit who looked like he could be their bodyguard.
"You should listen to the kid, Gordon," said the newcomer. "The kids are grown-ups now. Who are we to get in the way?"
"These are my parents: Mr and Mrs. Mann," Camille introduced them.
"I'm sorry we had to meet over awkward circumstances," Mrs. Mann spoke in a cold, dispassionate tone with an equally apathetic face.
"So are we," Gordon and Betty Jean said in unison, both of them vocalizing blatant dislike of them.
Gordon and his wife were the first to walk away, muttering something under their breathes, and the Manns soon retreated a well. Both of them left behind a palpable tension that made Max scratch the back of his neck uncomfortably. Ben, on the other hand, was strangely amused.
"Maybe this won't be so boring after all," he said.
"Uncle Max, this had been a nightmare," said Joel exhaustedly after Camille ran off to check on her parents. "It's not just the families. The wedding dress got lost, the photographer's camera got smashed, all the flowers up and died! Everything's going wrong!"
"Don't worry," said Max, resting his hand reassuringly on his nephew's back. "I'm sure it'll all work out."
"It means a lot coming from you, Uncle Max," said Joel. The way he looked at Max showed how much he admired his uncle. "Thanks."
"Excuse me for interrupting," Gwen spoke up, smiling widely up at Joel. "I'm Gwen, the flower girl, and I have a few questions: Does the flower girl's dress match the other bridesmaids? Who designed the dresses? What color are the corsages?"
"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, Gwen, I thought you got the e-mail," said Joel, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Turns out Camille's little cousin, Lucy, was able to make it after all. But thanks for standing in for us."
Gwen's jaw dropped like a character in those cartoon that Ben liked watching.
"Please tell me you got another ring bearer too?" Ben pleaded, folding his hands in a desperate prayer.
"Uh, no, nothing changes for you," said Joel. "Except for who you'll dance with at the reception."
"Dance?" Ben gasped like he had just been given the death penalty. "I have to dance? In front of people?"
"That's usually how it works," Joel grinned teasingly. "Better brush off your dancing shoes. Don't wanna look like a mega dweeb out there in front of everybody."
Ben audible gulped as Joel walked away, laughing good-naturedly. Ben silently wondered if it was possible to call up the Forever Knights and invite them to the reception….
Later that night, the Tennysons returned to the Rust Bucket. Max was taking a feather duster to Ben's new (read: ancient) tuxedo very gently as if afraid it might crumble at the lightest touch (which it just might.) Trixie was e-mailing her latest schematics to her peer review group (Dexter and the Test Twins) when she peered over the top of her laptop at Gwen. The redhead was still pouting in the corner after being upstaged from her flower girl position by someone she didn't know.
It was overall a quiet night for the Tennysons…which was what immediately alerted Gwen that something was amiss.
"It's too quiet," said Gwen. "Where's Ben?"
"I think he said something about going downstairs to take a dip in the lake," said Max.
"And you thought letting him go along was a good idea?" questioned Trixie.
"…I'm old – I forget things," said Max defensively after a moment's pause. Gwen and Trixie fixed him with an unimpressed stare.
Ben was walking through the parking lot at night in his swim trunks with a towel over his shoulder when he noticed a van parked off to the side. He saw a man dressed in a white chef's uniform picking up several large boxes from the back of the van and carrying them inside. Curiosity got the better of him (as it always did) and decided to take a peek in back when the chef wasn't looking. Ben peering around the edge of the doors, and a wide grin spread across his face when he found several boxes filled to the brim with all sorts of desserts ranging from cakes, to pies, to cupcakes and everything in between.
It was no surprise that when the chef returned to the van thirty seconds later, he found Ben stuffing his face with cake, cream smeared all over his mouth. Ben looked like a deer in a headlight when he turned around and saw the chef glaring down at him.
"Uh, it's okay!" Ben yelped, racking his brain for an excuse. "I'm the uh…official food taster! Yeah, that's it! You…keep up the good work, my man!"
He sprinted off before he could face the consequences of his actions. The chef muttered obscenities under his breath and went back to carrying the desserts inside…or he would have, if something had not slithered up behind him and pulled dragged him into the shadow of the bushes. The chef screamed for a full minute until he went hauntingly silent. A few moments later, he emerged from the bushes, but his eyes were now glowing purple and his voice deep and guttural.
"Now to deliver a wedding present they'll never forget."
Meanwhile, Ben trudged down to the edge of the lake, ready to perform a cannonball into the water, when he came across a sign that he somehow didn't notice earlier that day.
"No swimming?" Ben groaned in annoyance. "Now what am I supposed to do for fun?"
He contemplated returning to the Rust Bucket, grimacing at the thought of having to look at Max's ugly, outdated tuxedo when he heard the screeching of tires in the distance. He turned around as white van carrying the desserts suddenly smashed through the wooden gate, driving down the hillside towards him. Rather than concern, Ben was excited for the chaos.
"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Ben cheered as he activated the Omnitrix. "Going hero!"
He slammed down on the faceplate and transformed into Upchuck in a burst of green light. He hadn't used this one since Myaxx unlocked it some time ago.
The stumpy little alien ran towards the van as it drove head-on towards the wedding venue. Upchuck extended his multiple tongues, pulling the nearest object into his mouth (which was a the head of a lamppost), and swallowed it whole. The lamp dropped down into his bottomless stomach, melting away into energy that glowed visibly in his belly, and Upchuck belched it out. The energy loogie exploded against the side of the van just as it was about to reach the venue, causing it to blow up in a burst of flames and smoke.
"Oh yeah, it's scary being this good!" Upchuck cheered, doing a little celebratory dance…until he realized that the explosion had set fire to the chairs and the hanging streamers. "Uh-oh."
The little alien ran around like a chicken with his head cut off, initially trying to blow out the fire thinking it would actually work before just wallowing the burning chairs. Unfortunately, it seemed the Gourmand species didn't particularly like fire and Upchuck ended up spitting them out, his multiple tongue burned.
"This isn't working," said Upchuck. "I need water. Lots and lots of – "
It took him a few seconds before he remembered – he was standing on the edge of a lake!
Upchuck ran to the shore as fast as his little legs could carry him, kneeling down, and then dunking his head underneath the surface. The Gourmand opened his mouth and inhaled, sucking in several dozen gallons of lake water despite his body showing no signs of increased mass. Believing he had gathered enough, Upchuck pulled his head out of the water and faced the burning venue. He belched out the water like a firehose, quenching all the fires while simultaneously drenching the seats. A small price to pay to save the wedding.
By the time he ran out of water, Upchuck wiped the sweat from his brow with a sigh of relief now that the inferno had been dealt with.
"Phew, that was a close one," said Upchuck. He turned to walk away…and ran into Gordon and Betty Jane, both pointing advanced laser rifles that definitely didn't belong on Earth. "…Plumbers. Of course everyone is a Plumber. Why not?"
"A Gourmand?" said Gordon, surprised.
"An alien wedding crasher," said Betty Jane severely. "Who sent you?"
"Nobody, I swear!" yelped Upchuck, holding his arms up in surrender. "I don't even want to be here!"
"What is going on?" Joel yelled, running up to meet his parents with Max, Gwen, and Trixie behind him. He wasn't surprised by their advanced firearms. Make sense, Upchuck thought, that he would be a Plumber too.
"This alien was trying to run the wedding!" Gordon accused.
"I was trying to save the wedding!" shouted Upchuck defensively.
"Uhh, it seems like he's telling the truth," said Max nervously, trying to pretend he didn't know that Upchuck was his grandson. So that meant the rest of the family didn't know about the Omnitrix. Upchuck shook his head in disappointment; grandpa and his secrets….
"Still, better not take the chance," said Betty Jane as she and her husband charged up their rifles. "You know aliens; can't trust any of them."
"That's a little racist, don't you think?" Upchuck commented.
As the couple moved in to take out Upchuck, Trixie quietly backed away and crouched behind the gazeebo. She muttered the words ("Accessing Lavoisian sequence…) and transformed into her partial Gutrot form. Being as subtle as possible, Trixie held out her hands and expelled a thick cloud of smog from the nozzles on her palms. The fog quickly enveloped the extensive Tennyson, causing all of them to fly into haggard fits of coughing. Upchuck used the distraction to waddle away, covering his nose and mouth with his hands.
"He - *cough* - getting away!" Gordon hacked. "Blast 'em!"
Gordon and Betty Jane began shooting blindly in every direction; bolts of energy flying around like fireworks. Some of them came dangerously close to hitting Gwen and Max pulled them both to the ground at the last second. Thankfully, Joel was able to keep his wits about him and slapped the rifle out of his father's hands.
"Put those things away!" Joel demanded. "This is a wedding, not a shooting range!"
"But that thing is still out there!" said Gordon.
"It doesn't matter," said Joel sternly. "We want you to promise: no more weapons for the rest of the weekend."
While Joel was chewing his parents out, Upchuck climbed onto the shore on the opposite side of the lake, shaking the water off his body. After checking that his alien-hunting relatives weren't following, Upchuck looked up the hill to the broken wood gate where the van had smashed through. Upchuck frowned; as far as he remembered, there was only one person there when he last looked….
The Gourmand waddled up the hill and ended up back in the parking lot, only to find it completely deserted.
"Hey, where'd he go?" Upchuck asked out loud.
Upchuck scratched his head in confusion…until he noticed a narrow shadow being cast behind him in the moonlight.
The creature stretched its arm and slammed down from above, but Upchuck snapped his tongues at the brick wall on the opposite side of the lot and allowed himself to be pulled. The Gourmand flipped around and took in his opponent, but wasn't sure what to make of it. As far as he could tell, it looked like a shapeless mass of…oozing purple sludge.
Suddenly, he heard the telltale beeping of the Omnitrix about to deactivate. He needed to settle this quickly.
Upchuck stretched out his tongue, intending to swallowing the sludge creature (As disgusting as that sounded.) But whatever it was created a hole in its body, causing Upchuck to miss. The sludge formed a hand, grabbing Upchuck by his tongues, and pulled him off the ground. The monster spun Upchuck around like a lasso before letting him flying, sending the Gourmand flying into a bush just as the Omnitrix deactivated.
Ben sat up with a grimace, hissing as the bush's branches cut into his exposed skin. The sludge monster with its glowing purple eyes seemed to pause and regard him for a moment. After tense pause, the creature melted into a puddle and slipped through the holes of the manhole cover, disappearing into the sewer underneath.
"…I hate weddings," Ben grumbled.
Ben, Gwen, and Trixie were giving Max the stink eye as the retired Plumber gently pressed an ice pack on Ben's head. Max rightfully felt awkward, painfully reminded of a certain point in the summer when Gwen gave him that same look for weeks.
"Uh, I guess I forgot to mention that the grooms parents were Plumbers, huh?" said Max, chuckling awkwardly.
"Can't imagine how that could've slipped your mind," said Gwen sarcastically. Unlike before, she was trying to give her grandfather the benefit of the doubt, but keeping secrets was her number one pet peeve.
"Is everyone in our family Plumbers?" asked Ben, readjusting the ice pack.
"Not everyone…just most of them," answered Max.
"I am so having a word with my dad when I get back home," Gwen huffed, crossing her arms.
"Anything else you might've 'forgotten?'" asked Trixie.
"Did I mention the bride and her family are aliens?" said Max.
"Aliens?" said Gwen, surprised. "They don't look like aliens."
"I don't look like one either," Trixie pointed out.
"Fair point," Gwen conceded.
"They're just in disguise for the wedding," Max explained. "Actually, they're some of the toughest, nastiest, meanest beings in the galaxy. We call them Sludgepuppies – "
"Are you referring to the Lenopan?" Trixie chimed in. "Yeah, I would advise calling them that in front of their faces. It's considered a racial slur to their species and make them really angry."
"Oh…Oh…that…might explain a lot of things, really," Max hummed awkwardly.
"So what's up with these Lenopan guys?" said Ben curiously.
"The Plumbers and the sludge – I mean, Lenopan – have been going at it for generations," Max continued. "But a few years ago, their children, Joel and Camille, met and became close. A truce was forged from that single relationship. This is the first ever marriage between a Lenopan and a human. It could put an end to years of fighting."
"And someone doesn't want that to happen," Ben realized.
"We better keep our eyes open," Max warned. "Something tells me the trouble is just starting."
An hour later, the Tennysons and the Manns were doing a rehearsal dinner for the big ceremony in the country club's banquet hall. The adults were at a separate table in the middle of the hall, most of them acting civil, but it was hard not to notice Gordon making a gesture to the Manns that essentially said 'I got my eyes on you.'
Ben, Gwen, and Trixie were seated at another table off to the side, joined by a bubbly blonde girl that just arrived. The way that Gwen was openly glaring at the blonde, it was easy to assume this girl was Lucy.
"I'm so excited about being the flower girl!" Lucy squealed excitedly, rounding to Ben. "Do you know we get to dance in front of everyone? Isn't that great?"
"Yeah…great…," Ben gritted through his teeth.
"Don't know why you're so upset," said Gwen, quirking a curious brow at her cousin. "Didn't you take three years of – "
"Shush!" Ben hissed, his face flushed with embarrassment.
Lucy turned her attention away from the cousins and stared at Trixie, who had gotten bored during rehearsal and started jotting down equations in her notebook. She could feel Lucy's penetrative stare and looked up. The blonde girl seemed to giggle for no reason, her face suddenly turning red.
"Can I help you with something?" asked Trixie.
"No, uh…I just thought you're…really cute," said Lucy, suddenly taking a shy tone.
"Uh…thanks?" Trixie replied with uncertainty.
Lucy suddenly squealed, covering her reddened face, and ran away, leaving Trixie infinitely bewildered. Gwen, on the other hand, leaned in closer to her green doppelgänger and grinned like the Cheshire Cat.
"Looks like Lucy has a crush on you," she told Trixie teasingly.
"She wants to crush me?" asked Trixie, taken aback.
"Wha – no!" Gwen sputtered. "I mean, she likes you."
"Oh, well…I guess I like her, too?" Trixie replied questionably. "She seems likeable."
"Oh, for the love of…," Gwen groaned, smacking her face in annoyance. "I mean she's infatuated with you! You know, like the way you're infatuated with Charmcaster?"
"Oh…oh…oh…," Trixie mumbled incoherently, her eyes gradually growing wider as the realization struck her. "I'm…not sure how to respond to that…."
Thankfully, a distraction presented itself at the opportune moment before Trixie could think too deeply on it.
The sound of a plate smashing on the floor drew everyone's attention to the chef standing at nearby food table. The same chef, Ben realized, that went missing from the parking lot last night.
"Camille!" he growled. "I am not letting you marry any filthy human without a fight!"
His eyes rolled back as his skin turned into murky purple sludge, stretching and twisting toward the ceiling into a semi-shapeless mass with long, wiggling arms and glowing purple eyes.
"It's my ex-boyfriend!" Camille gasped. "How'd he find out about the wedding?"
Mr. Ex-Boyfriend (or Mr. Ex, for short) began his blind rampage by smashing a table on his left and sending a table on his right flying across the room. Ben, Gwen, and Trixie ducked behind their seats, peering over the edge of the table as the mud monster made his way to the adults.
"That's gotta be the thing that attacked me last night," said Ben. He proceeded to crawl under the table and activated the Omnitrix, dialing through the selection quickly. "It's payback time."
He slammed down on the faceplate and exploded in a flare of green light. Gwen and Trixie jumped back as Diamondhead stood up, threw off the table, and rushed forward as Mr. Ex reached the adults.
"Without our gear, we're sitting ducks," Gordon stated the obvious.
Mr. Ex stretched his arm across the table, wrapping his sludgy finger around Joel, and pulled the groom up to his face, narrowing his glowing purple eyes.
"If I can't have Camille, then neither can you, you meat-puppet!" Mr. Ex declared heatedly.
His threat was cut short – along with his arm – by a sawblade made of green crystal flying across the room. Mr. Ex stared, bewildered, between his severed appendage and the walking chandelier that had appeared out of nowhere, pointing its crystal-studded arm at him.
"Back off, dirt bag!" said Diamondhead
"A Petrosapiden?" Mr. Ex yelled. "What are you doing here?"
"Uhh, friend of the groom?" said Diamondhead, shrugging.
"Then you're no friend of mine!" Mr. Ex snapped.
The dejected Lenopan reformed his missing limb, curling his muddy fingers into a fist, and threw a stretchy punch at the Petrosapien hero. Diamondhead quickly rolled out of the way and retaliated with a cluster of flying shards that hit their mark in Mr. Ex's chest. Unfortunately, given the muddy nature of the Lenopan, it had no effect and Mr. Ex simply swallowed the shards into his body.
"Uh-oh," Diamondhead mumbled.
"He's made of mud!" Gwen shouted critically. "What did you think was gonna happen?"
Mr. Ex stretched his arm again and slapped Diamondhead into the wall, creating a spider web of cracks on the surface. He punched Diamondhead again before he could recover, sending him through the wall into a room thick with steam. The Petrosapien hero shakes his head free of the daze, molding his hand to retaliate, when he reached he couldn't see Mr. Ex.
Taking a look around, it seemed to be some type of bathing area somewhere in the country club. The steam was likely the result of an open sauna. Diamondhead rose to his feet slowly, searching the area cautiously…when he sensed something behind him.
"Gotcha!" he yelled, pointing his bladed arm…
At a woman in a towel wearing a mud mask and cucumbers on her eyes. The cucumbers fell off as she sat up and, naturally, she screamed when she saw a hulking silicon-based alien pointing a sharp weapon at her.
"Sorry, lady," Diamondhead apologized, retracting his hands. "I thought you were a butt-ugly alien."
Fear quickly gave way to annoyance. She threw her pillow at his face (which did absolutely nothing) and walked away in a huff. Diamondhead exhaled a sigh…right as Camille's ex-boyfriend slithered up behind him and constricted his arm around Diamondhead's neck. Thankfully, Diamondhead's hard, silicon body prevented any choking. Mr. Ex pulled the Patrosapien towards him when Diamondhead flipped around and punched in the face (the Lenopan was weirdly solid enough to be knocked back by the blow.)
The both of them fell into the pool. The briefly separated and physically struggled for dominance when Mr. Ex literally started to fall apart. The exposure to the water caused him to become diluted, which was to be expected from a mud-based species. In short time, the pool was completely congealed in purple sludge. And Diamondhead, who climbed out of the pool, found himself covered in it.
Max, Gwen, and Trixie finally showed up after watching the fight from afar rather than helping.
"Ew, gross," Diamondhead groaned, trying to flick the sludge off.
"It was a dirty job," Max chuckled, "but somebody had to do it."
Diamondhead was not amused.
Ben and his family exited the country club after the Omnitrix timed out. Unsurprisingly, they found the Tennysons and the Manns arguing in the parking lot.
"We are not canceling my wedding!" Camille shouted loudly in Gordon's face.
"Civilians will be at the wedding tomorrow," said Gordon. "What if there's another alien attack?"
Well, maybe just put it off until, let's say, after the summer," Ben suggested all too eagerly; his family shot him several stares ranging from annoyed to exasperated. "That should give you plenty of time to find another ring bearer."
No one blamed Gwen for slapping him over the head.
"At least let us bring our Plumber gear," Betty Jane requested.
"No! No weapons!" said Joel firmly.
"Everyone relax," said Mrs. Mann. "There's no need for weapons now. It's all over."
"I wish I could believe that," Max muttered to himself.
When the next day arrived, the wedding was ready to commence.
All the chairs that had been destroyed by Ben were replaced overnight and were filled by two dozen guests dressed in their Sunday best – including Ben and his horrifically outdated suit. But no one spared him a passing glance like he feared – all eyes were on Joel and Camille, standing hand-in-hand at the gazeebo, as the ordained minister began his speech.
"Dear beloved," he said, "we are gathered here to witness the union of Joel Tennyson and Camille Mann – "
"Ugh, hurry up already," Ben mumbled quietly under his breath, tugging at the uncomfortably tight collar.
"I'm am so proud," Max whispered, giving his grandson a thumbs-up from the crowd. "Just look at that tux."
"Oh, we're looking at it, all right," Gwen snickered behind one hand, the other clutching the fabric of her pale-lavender dress (Trixie had a matching green set.)
"This young bride and groom are an inspiration, they remind us that love conquers all," the priest continued. "If anyone has a reason why these two should not wed, let them speak now or forever hold their – "
SPLAT!
The priest's speech was cut off when he was slapped in the face by a large slathering of purple sludge. The source of which came from Mr. and Mrs. Mann, both of melted their arms into long limbs of purple mud.
"We have something to say!" Mr. Mann spoke in a most vile voice.
The crowd gasped in shock – whether it was because the wedding was interrupted or because most of them were learning the bride's parents were aliens was up for debate.
The Manns bodyguard, who had been standing off to the side like a creeper the whole time, extends his hands and splattered Gordon and Betty Jane with a heaping pile of mud, trapping them in their seats. The rest of the crowd immediately dispersed, most of them running to the country club for shelter. The only ones left behind were Ben, Joel, Camille, Max, Gwen, and Trixie.
"This wedding, and every human here, are about to be cancelled!" Mr. Mann threatened.
"You mean like online?" asked Trixie randomly.
"Wha – no!" Mr. Mann sputtered, doing a literal double-take. "I mean they're all going to die!"
"Just clarifying," said Trixie, shrugging nonchalantly.
"Mom, dad, what are you doing?" Camille gasped.
"Putting an end to this once and for all!" Mr. Mann growled.
"It was her mom and dad behind the dirty tricks all along!" Ben realized.
"What did I tell you," said Betty Jane accusingly, struggling inside the mud pile with her husband. "Once a sludge, always a sludge."
"They set up the ex-boyfriend to take the fall and keep suspicion off of themselves," Max deduced.
"There will be no wedding and no truce!" Mr. Mann declared.
He stretched out his arm and ensnared Joel, ignoring his daughter's cries to stop, and raised the groom several feet in the air."
"But – you said – you liked me," Joel grunted, trying to fight his way loose.
"We lied," said Mr. Mann shortly. "We hated having to stomach your presence every time Camille would bring you around. We had thought she would eventually realize you were no good and break it off, but no. You had to propose to her. That was the final straw. Also, your meatloaf was dry."
"Okay, now that's just hurtful," Joel remarked.
"Stop it!" Camille cried, grabbing her father's arm. "Let him go!"
"Stay out of this Camille!" Mrs. Mann commanded in an evil voice. "This is for your own good!"
And like any real loving, caring parent, she slapped Camilla across the head with her tendril, slamming the bride onto the ground.
Meanwhile, Ben, who had ducked behind the gazeebo activated the Omnitrix and slammed down on the faceplate. The Manns flinched as a burst of green light exploded in their faces. While their eyes were turned away, a large fireball flew out and exploded at their feet. The Manns and their bodyguard were thrown back and Joel fell to the ground, thankfully unharmed (though his tux was caked in purple sludge.)
"Oh yeah, I'm all fired up!" shouted Heatblast, stepping out into the open.
"Another wedding crasher!" Mrs. Mann yelled irritably as she and husband got back up. "Why did we even bother with invitations?"
The pair twisted and morphed into their true, shapeless Lenopan form just like Mr. Ex the night before; Mr. Mann was naturally larger than his wife, but Mrs. Mann had four antenna growing out of the side of her face for some reason.
Heatblast took a subconscious step back, coming to realize how much bigger Mr. Mann as compared to Camille's e-boyfriend. And faster, too, a the angry Lenopan snapped his arm against Heatblast's chest, sending the Pyronite skimming across the surface of the lake, and crashing into the opposite side. Mr. and Mr. Mann chased after the flaming hero, quite foolishly, I might add, instead of sticking around to finish Joel like they originally intended.
Well, if the bad guy were going to be idiots, you know the Tennysons are going to take full advantage of it.
Max, Gwen and Trixie had been digging Gordon and his wife out of the sludge pile the entire time Heatblast was distracting the Manns. When they finally freed them, the Mann's bodyguard finally realized what was going on and morphed his arm into a spike mace, extending it over his head. The Tennysons scattered as he slammed the ground between them; Max and the kids in one direction, and Gordon and Betty Jane in the other. Gwen rolled into a crouch and extended her arms, chanting:
"Stingu Invisibus!"
Gwen ripped two large chunks of rock out of the earth and threw them at the bodyguard, tearing away his sides. The bodyguard easily remolded his lost sections and gave Gwen an unimpressed stare. Gwen chuckled nervously, waving at him…then ran away screaming.
"Accessing – " Trixie began when Max suddenly grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her back.
"No, not here," Max warned her. "The last thing we need is for Gordon to think your another Lenopan."
Trixie groaned in annoyance, but she couldn't deny that he had a point. Why did Joel have to marry a shapeshifter, Trixie thought irritably.
"What do we do?" Betty Jane asked husband, the pair running to join Max and Trixie. "We're defenseless."
"Not quite," said Max with a cunning smirk, reaching into his tux and handing them a pair of cylindrical devices. "You promised to leave the Plumber gear at home. I didn't."
Gordon and Betty Jane took the cylinder devices and pressed the buttons on top. The devices quickly morphed into a pair of giant handgun that in no way should have been able to fit in such a small space.
"Ha, just like the old days!" Gordon laughed.
The adults turned frantically when they heard Gwen's high-pitched scream coming from their right.
The Mann's bodyguard stretched his muddy arms like whips and snapped them at the young redhead. At first, Gwen was able to flip and dodge around the tendrils with incredible acrobatic finesse. But the bodyguard managed to slither one of his tendrils out of her sight and pounced on the first chance he got. He wrapped around Gwen's torso, pinning her arms to her side, and started to squeeze the life out of her.
Thankfully, her grandfather, armed with another hand cannon shot the bodyguard in the face, obliterating his left eye. The bodyguard turned silently to Max, Gordon, and Betty Jane as he reformed his missing eye, throwing Gwen away out of a lack of interest. Trixie quickly grabbed Gwen's arm and pulled her away, deciding to let the adults handle this for a change.
Heatblast was thrown on his back after taking a sucker punch to the face, sliding across the ground deeper into the surrounding forest. Heatblast picked himself up while consciously lowering his body temperature; he didn't want to start another forest fire like he did in Yosemite. Mr. Mann, on the other hand, had no such concerns and slammed his enlarged fist at Heatblast, who rolled out of the way and retaliated with a concentrated heat beam to the Lenopan's chest.
"Aren't you guys a little old to be playing with mud?" Heatblast taunted as Mr. Mann flinched away.
But Heatblast had been focusing on Mr. Mann that he had forgotten about his wife, who slammed the Pyronite from the side and pinned him against a tree. Mrs. Mann slithered up to him like a predatory snake, raising her other arm overhead and molding it into a spike club.
"Oh crud…," Heatblast groaned as the club came lamming down on his head –
Joel and Camille stood together off to the side as they watched the Tennysons shoot up the bodyguard. They may as well have been throwing rocks for all the good it did. Even if they landed a shot, the bodyguard would just fill up the holes in his body and resumed his attack unhindered. Camille clutched the fabric of her dress, her brow furrowed in both sadness and anger.
"This is my special day and nobody is going to ruin it!" said Camille furiously. Her form steadily shifted to its true Lenopan appearance, her body converting into purple sludge with a pair of antenna on her head. The difference, however, was that she retained her humanoid shape. "ESPECIALLY NOT MY FAMILY!"
Camille rushed forward to join the fight and Joel watched her go with pride.
"She's going to be my wife," he said.
Max, Gordon, and Betty Jane were forced to retreat as the Mann's bodyguard stretched above them and started shooting down spikes over their heads. As he began to pursue them, Camilla surprised the bodyguard by leaping over, converting her hand into a giant mallet, and slammed it down on him. Unlike the Tennyson's weapons, this one seemed like it actually did damage. It was likely due to their matching biology that they were able to harm each other (at least, that's what Trixie wrote down on her notes after the wedding.)
The bodyguard shook his head free of the momentary daze and quickly stood up to face Camille. It didn't look like he a going to have any trouble fighting her despite being the daughter of the people he was supposed to be guarding. Likewise, Camille seemed more than happy to make him eat dirt.
"We're sorry that we've been so tough on you, Camille," Gordon apologized after witnessing the sincerity in her actions.
"Can you ever forgive us?" pleaded Betty Jane.
"Of course; that's what family is for," said Camille, happy that her future in-laws were finally opening up to her. Although, they probably weren't too happy when she shoved them aside. "Look out!"
Camille ducked as the bodyguard threw a sludgy punch at her face. She rushed forward and met the bodyguard halfway, wrestling each other for dominance. They initially seemed equally matched, but there was no mistaking that the bodyguard easily overpowered her, forcing Camille to take a step back as he swung at her with his clubbed arm.
While Camille distracted him, Max pulled the stock of his hand cannon and pushed it back in, activating a trigger that cause it to hum and glow dangerously. The retired Plumber ran up to the bodyguard as he and Camille locked hands. But the bodyguard noticed him running and converted into his full Lenopan form, shoving Camille away before turning to deliver a solid haymaker to Max. The retired Plumber slammed into the ground, and Gwen and Trixie ran to aid him.
"Grandpa/Maxwell!" they cried in union, pulling on his arms to help him sit up.
The bodyguard growled at the Tennysons…until he heard a loud beeping noise coming from below. He looked down at realized that Max had somehow lodged his weapon into the bodyguard's chest. He had no time to react before the hand cannon exploded inside of him. Everyone present covered their faces from the fiery blast, looking back after the moment had passed.
All that remained of the bodyguard as a listless puddle of purple mud on the grass.
"Well, I definitely not getting thee deposit back now," said Max jokingly.
"Where's Ben?" asked Gwen, realizing that her cousin was missing in action.
"And my parents?" Camille added worriedly.
Heatblast cried out as Mrs. Mann slammed him a second time with her clubbed arm. She reeled back for a third time when Heatblast had enough. In a split-second of time, he flared up his body heat, making Mrs. Mann flinch away. Additionally, the sudden rise in temperature solidified Mrs. Mann's muddy hand, turning it brittle and allowing Heatblast to break free.
"Hey, this stuff is like clay," said Heatblast thoughtfully, picking up one of the shards and examining it. "And clay goes hard when you heat it up. Heh, looks like art class finally came in handy."
"Irritating pest!" Mrs. Mann snarled, reshaping her hand. "Must be from the groom's side of the family!"
Heatblast stared down Mrs. Mann when he felt the ground beneath him start to rise up. He blasted the ground like a pair of jet engines and took off into the air as Mr. Mann broke through the Earth, reaching for him with multiple tendrils. Heatblast landed a short distance away and turned as Mr. and Mrs. Mann stood side-by-side.
"We'll teach you to muck up our family business!" Mr. Mann threatened.
The husband and wife pair suddenly turned toward each other and slammed into on another, combining their muddy bodies into a single goopy mass. They now stood a towering twenty feet with both heads leering down at Heatblast.
"You've been a bad little alien!" Mrs. Mann hissed.
The Lenopan pair shot a goopy tendril from the center of their mass, catching Heatblast off-guard. The mud morphed into a cocoon around the Pyronite's body, lifting him off the ground and into their body. Heatblast tried pushing and pulling his way out, but more tendrils wrapped around him, pulling him deeper into the mass.
"We're putting you down for a nap," said Mr. Man. "A dirt nap."
And in a few seconds, Heatblast was completely swallowed. Mr. and Mrs. Mann began to laugh victoriously…when they felt a sudden spike of heat in their combined belly. They looked down to see spot in their body was suddenly glowing hot-orange and their muddy substance bubbling. The next thing they knew, their entire mass was solidifying starting from their belly and reaching to their heads.
There was a brief moment of silence before Heatblast kicked his way out of the Manns' brittle stomach and stepped out, exhaling in relief. In was in that moment that the Omnitrix timed out and Ben returned to his original form in a burst of red light. And just in time, because Camille, Trixie, and the entire Tennyson family came running his way, likely drawn by the explosion of light.
"Ben, are you okay?" Max asked, kneeling to his grandson.
"I'm fine, grandpa," said Ben reassuringly. He then gestured to the solidified Manns. "And hey, that flame-headed alien left you a present."
"Hmm…," Camille hummed playfully. "Little big for the wedding cake, but it's the thought that counts."
With Camille's parents and their bodyguard hauled off by the Plumbers, Joel and Camille decided to resume the wedding. Most of the guests had abandoned the country club, leaving the venue virtually empty. The one who stayed were either the immediate family or close friends who were used to Joel and Camille's hectic life. Even Ben was willing to put up with the ugly suit for the sake of their wedding.
"I now pronounce you man and wife," the sludge-covered priest announced, watching proudly as the two exchanged their first martial kiss.
"Yup, best wedding ever," Ben declared.
And once the ceremony was complete, everyone moved to the country club to begin the reception. Everyone was smiles and laughter as Joel and Camille cut the wedding cake together, then proceeded to smash the cake in each other's faces, laughing good-naturedly. Gordon and Betty Jane were more welcoming of Camille, which made the bride and groom very until they started discussing grandchildren.
But by far the biggest surprise, in Trixie's opinion, was Ben as she watched the wielder of the Omnitrix glide across the dance floor with Lucy like a professional.
"Wait, so Benjamin can dance?" Trixie asked Gwen, surprised, as they watched the pair dancing from a nearby table.
"His mom made him take dance lessons for three years," Gwen admitted. "I hate to say it, but he's an even better dancer than me."
"Then why was he so against it?" asked Trixie curiously.
"He's embarrassed because he thinks dancing is 'girly.'" Gwen answered.
"Yeah, that makes sense," said Trixie, sighing exasperatedly.
On the dance floor, everything seemed to be going rather smoothly for Ben and his dance partner. That is, until Lucy accidentally met eyes with Trixie. While Trixie was uninterested, Lucy turned red in the face and accidentally lost concentration on her form, letting her feet turn to sludge. Ben let out a started cry as he slipped on Lucy's mud and fell on his back.
Lucy smiled sheepishly and apologized profusely. But on the bright side, Ben thought, the accidental fall caused his too-tight tuxedo to completely tear in the back. Too bad Max didn't feel the same way as he sobbed for the rest of the day like he had just watched an old friend die.
Next chapter: The Immortal Samurai