The freshman and sophomore years of high school are the worst years of Nahyuta's entire life. Everything about him is under constant scrutiny, by both his peers and his teachers. Before starting high school, he'd been under the impression that speaking clearly enough is good enough for his peers, but simply having an accent proves to be worth mockery. Whenever his roots start to grow out and his natural color begins to show, at least three people feel the need to tease him, usually with the tired joke that he is graying early. It's never malicious, especially whenever Clay is the one doing it, but it never fails to put him in a bad mood and gives him the urge to start pulling his hair out. He is growing taller in a way that keeps up with the other boys, but unlike them, he has remained slim and underweight so that clothes don't fit him properly.
After only reading his name, few people can pronounce it right, so Clay's nickname "Yuta" becomes his name instead. It's better than drawing further attention, and it's better than hearing it get butchered by the American accent. "Nahyuta" is simple, and most people don't say it that much further than how it's supposed to sound, but hearing it is still akin to nails on a chalkboard.
Everything about him makes him other and he wishes that the ground would swallow him up so he won't need to see or talk to anyone for the next ten years.
It isn't like he experienced degrees of otherness at the home, but everything that once alienated a little bit feels like it's been dialed up about ten more notches. Apollo, like usual, doesn't make things easier on him; he still struggles through his anger and Nahyuta is his only outlet for it. Or his only outlet that isn't an inanimate object. He'd gone through two chairs and a cellphone since he turned twelve. Isn't Clay his friend too? Why can't Apollo start shouting and throwing things around him, for once?
The icing on the cake is that Nahyuta had started having nightmares that remind him a great deal like the nauseating feeling in his gut after Apollo had been shot, but this time it's not directed towards anything. Instead, it's a general sense of unease that he can't do anything about except give in to any and every compulsion that he feels. As a child, Dhurke said that they were premonitions from the Holy Mother; a significant blessing for her, since she rarely blessed men with spiritual power. Years ago, that gift was how they found a monk willing to help Apollo, but now it's broken or something. Maybe a punishment since he rarely carves time out to pray anymore. And he hasn't visited a temple in a while, and he struggles to read the more complex Khura'inist texts.
At some point, burying himself in books and academia had stopped being good enough so he started smoking cigarettes with some of the juniors and seniors at Sunflower. Nahyuta still distinctly remembers how much Dhurke hated smoking, so the satisfaction he gets from smoking was almost greater than the guilt he feels about his hypocrisy.
But only almost.
Nahyuta knows how he would react if Apollo became brazen enough to pick up such a bad habit, especially one that can kill him. He had never made it a secret that he looks down on Mr. Terran for his excessive drinking, no matter how otherwise friendly and caring he usually is.
He likes to justify it to himself by thinking, telling himself that his anxiety from childhood never went away like it's supposed to. Nahyuta had improved since his time throwing up after having conversations with people, but not nearly enough. Maybe smoking will kill him down the road, but for now, it's preferable to having anxiety attacks in the bathrooms twice a week. When things start getting better (because it has to—he can't live the rest of his life like this), then he can give up cigarettes. And he can whenever he wants to. It's not nearly as bad as it could be; just a handful of times a week won't kill him like the people who go through an entire pack in a single day.
Until then, Nahyuta hopes and prays that Apollo doesn't notice the smell of smoke on him and simply chooses not to say anything. He had noticed Apollo's first girlfriend and subsequent breakup after three months, but still does not care enough to say anything. They fight enough as it is, and he isn't about to start one when there's no need to. To this day, he is almost certain that Apollo believes the relationship had skipped his notice entirely. The thought of Apollo doing something similar regarding his smoking habit gives him the sensation of spiders crawling under his skin that he needs to scratch until they crawl out.
Nahyuta has always been the good one between the both of them, and he tries to compensate for his guilty conscience by impressing his teachers and the Sunflower staff and volunteers. It feels so trite, and it doesn't help him feel like a better person, but the temporary ego trip makes it worth it. For a little while, he doesn't have to think about all the things that bother him, and he can pretend like he's a person with some kind of trajectory to his life. At the same time, with every achievement, it takes more and more effort for him to get attention; he doesn't understand how it can be fair that Apollo can act as poorly as he wants but he has more people tripping over themselves to help him with one thing or another.
It makes Nahyuta seethe. How is he supposed to get over himself if he has so many people trying to accommodate poor behavior? And why don't they care as much about him if they like him so much more? Is he doomed to be the only person in Apollo's life unwilling to tolerate his less than stellar personality? Nahyuta knows Apollo is smart—that he is a quick study, and that he is probably a lot better at maths and science than he is, but he never commits himself. It is inexcusable. He is becoming more and more wasted potential by the day and no one but Nahyuta cares. Instead, he seethes at Apollo's ability to breeze by without putting any effort, and soak up all the attention from adults by acting like a stupid person.
His growing resentment usually lead his mind to thoughts that he should have listened to Dhurke and stayed in Khura'in. It's becoming more and more frequent, especially when Apollo has been sharing just how much he wishes that he had come to America by himself. And how much Nahyuta has ruined his life, and so on and so forth.
He hates how much it upsets him. He doesn't know how much Apollo means it either. The first time, he'd apologized and said that he was angry and saying things he didn't mean, but Nahyuta can only hear it so often before he starts to think there's more truth to it than he likes to admit.
I get it. I'm horrible and awful and I ruin everything I touch.
He is aggravated by the thought, and literally everything else, because nothing was good enough and no one cares. Nahyuta wishes that he never left Khura'in, but he can never go back if he wanted to.
"My dad wants to move to be closer to the rest of his family. It's been too hard on him to raise me by himself. My aunt will be able to help out more."
Apollo stopped mid-step. "What?" He stared long and hard at Clay who had stopped in his tracks. He was staring down at the concrete, surely being blinded by the bright sun reflecting off of it, and had his hands stuffed in his pockets. He'd been quiet all day, but he was quiet a lot, and so Apollo hadn't noticed.
"I'm gonna have to move away from L.A."
"…Oh," he said tonelessly. His stomach twisted in envy. He was supposed to have been sent to America because that was where family was, but they probably didn't even know he existed. His name probably wasn't even the name that his parents gave him. Dhurke said it was, but he could have made it all up. He had always liked to tell tall tales. Apollo swallowed. "Are you excited?"
Clay kicked a rock on the sidewalk. "Yeah," he said, still looking down. "I'll miss you and Mr. Starbuck, but I'll be able to visit on the weekends and holidays, I think. I don't want to change schools though."
"Yeah. That makes sense." Clay didn't really like L.A. or school, but he loved the Space Station. He was probably going to miss that more than anything else. Apollo wanted to be more excited for him than he was, but he felt bitter that Clay was excited to get the hell out of dodge. And jealous that he probably would never have a chance at it.
"You can come visit me too though," Clay added. "It could be good to get away from Sunflower every once and a while."
Apollo forced a smile. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm Apollo Justice and I'm fine and I don't need to walk with Clay to school every day. I can see Mr. Starbuck myself whenever I want to anyway. I'm Apollo Justice and I'm fine. "Yeah, that would be pretty cool."
Even as the months hurried by, and Apollo grew more and more busy with school, Clay kept his promise and visited most weekends. His aunt was a lot more present than Mr. Terran had been and nice enough. She liked to give Apollo the gifts from her mother-in-law that she didn't want in the house anymore. She didn't even care when Clay stayed the nights at the space center with Mr. Starbuck—which was great, because Apollo wouldn't have gone if Clay had to sit out, despite his previous words to himself. And she was good for Clay too. He smiled and joked around more, and it was nice.
As Apollo packed his bag, he jumped when he heard the door to his shared room creak open. Creak, because the door was probably older than the entire United States and they didn't have the budget for a little bit of oil.
"Where are you going?" The person spoke.
Nahyuta. It had to be him because he was the only one who cared where Apollo was going these days. And the only person who didn't communicate with him in English.
"I'm gonna spend the night at the Space Center."
His tone was flat. "It isn't a good idea to spend another night out again. Our midterms are starting soon."
Apollo breathed in, then out slowly. "Yuta, I spent all this week studying. I'll be fine."
"You need to do more than fine, Apollo," Yuta replied stiffly. "You know that."
"Was getting a single B minus that big of a deal?" He got much worse than that, but Yuta didn't need to know that. And he had no intention of letting him learn that either.
"No," he said simply. His arms were crossed, and it felt like he was staring down his nose at him. Apollo hated that Nahyuta had shot up like a weed and Apollo seemed to have finished growing at this point already. "That isn't going to raise your GPA to where you need it."
Apollo turned around to continue packing. "Whatever," he said. "I'm going to have fun with my friends while you waste another weekend doing nothing but stay here. Wasting away like a pretty princess in a tower."
"I'm actually working towards something instead of going to camps that offer scholarships that I have no interest in."
Apollo could hear Nahyuta's frown, on top of his already-judgmental words; not an uncommon expression, but it was no doubt the kind of frown that went from his eyes to his mouth, so much so that it was present to be heard. To most people, he only seemed mildly annoyed, but he was getting angry. And Apollo knew it, and that fact alone was making Nahyuta angrier. And he liked to talk down to him when he was pissed off, and God, Apollo couldn't stand it.
He spun on his heel. "How do you know I don't want those scholarships?" Apollo demanded. "You never talk to me unless it's to criticize me—for all you know, I could want to be an astronaut instead!"
Nahyuta's eyes narrowed, and his nose wrinkled. It meant further irritation and condescension were to follow.
"If that is the case, then you may as well give up now. No program would accept you based on your current lack of accomplishments," he bit out harshly.
"Screw you, Yuta!" Apollo shouted at him in English, turning on his heel in Nahyuta's direction. "Not all of us can effortlessly learn whatever we want to on a whim like you can. At least you can let me have fun without needing to criticize me! I'm doing just fine and you're being an ass for no reason!"
"I'm not judging you for having fun, I'm judging you for not caring for the future!" Nahyuta snapped back. It was the closest he would get to shouting and that drove Apollo crazy. Why couldn't he just be angry like everyone else? What was he trying to prove by being so serene all the time? That he was better than everyone else?
"Future? What future?! We don't have one! We're just wasting away in an orphanage until they let us leave! Instead of making the best of our situation, you just sit inside all day studying for opportunities that aren't ever going to come. You don't care about becoming friends with Clay even though you know—"
"I am very polite to Clay," Nahyuta interrupted angrily. "I don't understand why you're saying that. Just because I don't like his father's habits doesn't mean I hate him."
"It makes Clay feel like shit! He loves his dad and he thinks that you hate him with how badly you talk about him all the time! You don't ever want to go out with us, or stay and chat or—"
"Is that what you're upset about?" Nahyuta interrupted. Again. Because he always interrupted and he never listened. "I would be more open to talking if they weren't so crude and disrespectful, like you are clearly becoming!"
Apollo saw nothing but red. Not this again, was the only thing that he could think. "Forget it!" He snatched his bag off his bed. "I'm going to the Space Station, and I'm not ever going to come back. I'm going to stay there, then go with Clay and his dad and they're going to adopt me because I have people that care about me!" He shoved past Nahyuta, deliberately pushing him into the door as he wrinkled his nose at the whiff of his increasingly strong-smelling detergent which almost always made Apollo's head hurt. Yet another thing that he did that pissed him the hell off.
"Apollo!" Nahyuta shouted after him. "I was not finished! Don't—"
He shouted the one thing he knew would make him leave him alone. "I wish Dhurke kept you in Khura'in!"
Apollo wanted to scream when he left the children's home and stormed down to the bus stop. The weather was getting colder and the wind usually made his hands and face cold but he barely noticed. But by the time he got back to the bus stop, he felt guilty. He always felt guilty after he argued with Nahyuta and he hated it. Why couldn't he just fight with him and stay angry in peace?
He knew that Nahyuta had the best intentions at heart (most of the time, anyway), but he was so annoying.
…
He didn't care if Yuta had a good reason for being so hard on him. It seemed like he got off to acting like a condescending dick, and it drove him crazy. He deserved to have someone willing to push back on it.
Maybe he would be willing to talk and listen once the weekend was done. Their fight would probably keep them both up at night all weekend and he'd be willing to talk for once.
After an argument, apologies are usually the same. Apollo is typically the one to initiate:
"Hi."
"Hi."
Then there would be an awkward silence that Nahyuta always forces Apollo to break. It's usually he who needs to do the apologizing anyway. Nahyuta is never the one who says things that aren't true, or things that he doesn't mean, after all.
"Do you want to walk downtown and get dinner out with me?"
"That sounds good. Now?"
"Yeah. Let's go."
Then they go, and talk about something else (or they don't, but they usually do) until they're comfortable with each other again. Then (sometimes), they apologize and all is well once more. When they return to Sunflower, Apollo sometimes wants to call Clay so the three of them can watch a movie together over a voice call, then they go to sleep. Then, rinse and repeat, like it had been for years.
Apollo's apology at the end of the weekend goes the same, except that he asks that he stop saying rude things about Clay and his father. Nahyuta agrees, quicker than he means to. The taste of cigarettes is still on his tongue and he spends the whole encounter trembling in the hopes that Apollo does not notice the smell—especially while he is trying to apologize.
Thinking about it later, it's no surprise that he hadn't noticed, because smoking is so common that the walls of Sunflower are stained with it. Even though Apollo wasn't a smoker, he was probably experiencing second-hand affects of it anyways. No thanks to his older brother.
The entire exchange makes Nahyuta feel terrible the more he thinks about it. More than once, he knows that he can't go through the rest of his life like this, but there is no end in sight. He isn't like Apollo, who screams and fights for what he wants until someone appears who can help him. Nahyuta doesn't have his instincts or even a fraction of his self-confidence. He can't rely on Apollo's anymore either, who always did that sort of thing for him. Not since they're more at odds with each other than not.
He misses it.
He misses it when they're both struggling for the same thing.
He breathes out a puff of smoke. It's almost three in the morning and he's going to be exhausted all day tomorrow.
He tries to channel some of Apollo's assertiveness, telling himself that it's too late for any regrets. And simultaneously, far too early. In regard to both his life, and the time of day.
The nicotine makes it too difficult to sleep, so Nahyuta stays up for the rest of the night.
He spends the entire next day zoned out, his mind about as smoky as his lungs probably are. It prompts his classmates to compare him to Meursault fromThe Stranger.It's a bad comparison, and it normally would get under his skin, but he's too tired to care today to say anything. It's probably why Apollo feels the need to chatter to him abouteverything over lunch.
Since Apollo's still alive, I know that I'm not a murderer, he thinks wryly.
Someone clears their throat from beside Nahyuta. When he turns to face them, it's one of the last people he'd expected to see: Clay Terran. He looks back at the birds, pleasantly surprised that they hadn't run off.
"Clay," he greets. "What are you doing?" He asks. "I thought you and Apollo were going downtown."
"We were," he says. "But we talked about inviting you, so I came to ask."
Nahyuta throws a handful of oats, aiming for one of the smaller birds who is getting chased away by the others. He'd named that one last week, but he can't remember what he'd chosen at the moment. "Ah."
"You wanna come?"
"Help me finish off the oats." He holds out the tube to him.
Clay takes it from him, frowning at the packaging. "Oatmeal?" He asks. "Why do you have this?"
Nahyuta smiles, briefly. "Someone donated a tub of oatmeal at a grocery store."
He stops dropping the oats to the birds and looks at him with a concerned look in his eyes. "Was this supposed to be your guys' food? Should we be feeding it to the birds?"
"They were going bad, and we didn't want to attract more pests."
"Well, if you say so." He starts to throw out the oats again. "I came to ask you something too."
He frowns. "…What did you want to ask me?"
"Apollo doesn't know that you smoke, does he?"
His stomach twists and he feels like his heart is starting to beat out of his chest. The horrible sensation of spiders crawling on his back make his skin itch and he digs his nails into the palms of his hands to refrain. "No," he states coolly, carefully taking the attention to relax the muscles in his face. "He doesn't."
Clay sits down next to him, staring down at the oats in the can. "Thought so," he says. He kicks his legs, disturbing the young blades of grass that were planted a week prior. The kids at Sunflower aren't supposed to walk on it too much, but Nahyuta knows that they do anyway.
"He would have said something to me about it if he did," Clay continues.
"Probably," Nahyuta agrees; he can't tell much to Apollo without it getting back to Clay. Sometimes it feels like Clay knows more about him than he knows about himself. He swallows.
His traitorous heart is still pounding out of his chest and he worries that Clay can hear it, giving how nervous he is away. It's so loud to his ears, and Clay is sitting right next to him. "Are you going to say something?"
"You don't want me to."
"No."
"You shouldn't be doing that. It's not good for you."
"Probably not." Nahyuta reaches over to get a handful of oats and toss them out at the birds, who are beginning to lose interest in the conversation. Or maybe they can sense how nervous he is; animals can be keen to things like this. It must be why things like emotional support animals exist. Maybe he needs one. Not as though Sunflower can afford it, with the quarterly budget they have.
Clay sighs next to him. His leg swinging is starting to make Nahyuta's eye twitch. "I won't tell him if you stop," he tells him.
Nahyuta takes a slow breath in, then out, hoping that it isn't obvious that he is attempting to calm himself and slow his heart. After a pregnant pause, he asks, "How did you know?"
His expression crinkles. Nahyuta doesn't know him well enough to know what it means. "I'm not gonna tell you so you can start hiding that too."
Good, then, he thinks. He's teasing him, and some tension leaves his back. The spiders skitter away and just sweat is left in their place.
Nahyuta glares down at the ground. Ideally, they would get up and leave now, but he can't have Clay tell Apollo. Apollo, who will probably tell Ms. Rector as an act of revenge disguised as concern.
"Why'd you even start?" Clay says critically. "Everyone knows it's bad for you."
"It helps when I'm anxious."
Clay presses his lips together, his expression shifting again. He is less of an open book than Apollo is, but Nahyuta thinks that, with some time, he'd be able to read him just as well. "That's what my dad says too. He uses gummies now, but it's not too much better." He swallows. "Apollo said you grew out of being anxious."
Nahyuta hastily dismisses the reflex to sneer at the mention of Mr. Terran and his substance abuse. He doesn't have a leg to stand on right now, and he doubts Clay will be very forgiving about it. He clears his throat, addressing his comment, "I grew out of my anxiety about talking to people in English. Not much else."
Clay cracks a smile. "That's good," he says. "Apollo's been teaching me Khura'inese, so maybe I'll be able to talk to both of you in it soon."
He replies, ruefully, "We are some of the only native speakers in the country so you're in good company."
"My name is Clay Terran and I'm fine!" He shouts, making Nahyuta jump. "How was that?"
He scowls at him for the sudden noise. "Your volume gives Apollo competition."
"I give him a run for his money, huh?" He turns the oatmeal upside down, emptying the container. The birds are gone now, and if they weren't gone before Clay's shouting, they certainly are now.
"Yes that."
"Hey, I thought you were gonna be fast!" Apollo calls, walking over to them. "Did you want to come, Yuta?"
"He's coming," Clay answers for him, then says to Nahyuta quietly, "We'll come back to this later."
"Fine."
Apollo notices, because he always notices everything. "What were you talking about?" He asked.
"Clay was telling me about his Khura'inese practice," Nahyuta answers plainly, getting up and dusting off his pants. "Shall we depart?" He looks down at Clay, who doesn't look like he understood a single word he said. Knowing Apollo, all he'd taught him was how to say hello, yes, no, and the repeated phrase for their Chords of Steel training.
"I'm not that good yet."
Apollo laughs as he approaches them. "He asked if you're ready to go."
When Clay repeats what Nahyuta said, it's much more accented than his and Apollo's catchphrase had been, and some of it is too slurred for him to understand. "Shall we depart?" He repeats slowly so Clay can try again.
His next attempt is better. Even if it sounds as though he's trying to speak it with the same part of his mouth as he uses for Spanish.
"Yes or no, Clay?" Apollo asks, leaning over the backside of the bench.
"Yes," he says, more confidently this time.
"Great!" Apollo says brightly. When he grins like that, he does a good job in reflecting the god of whom he'd been named after. "Let's go."
After walking into town, Nahyuta is surprised with how enjoyable it is to make loops around the park with Clay and Apollo. They don't have much money to do much, so chatting while making loops is the way to go. Even still, his conversation with Clay doesn't leave the back of his mind enough for him to enjoy himself.
The anxiousness of it makes his fingers twitch and want to reach for a cigarette like a child with its safety blanket.
When he realizes his first reaction to something even mildly upsetting was to start smoking, it makes Nahyuta grit his teeth. The excuses that he'd been telling himself are shaky, but now they'd become honest-to-God lies.
Maybe Clay's intervention isn't the worst thing in the world. Stopping might help him gain weight anyway.
Clay Terran: You've promised to stop, right?
Nahyuta Justice: Yes.
CT: I'll hold you to it
NJ: I know.
CT: I'll do regular check-ins with you, ok? I trust you, but you'll have to be honest.
NJ: I will
CT: I know you said you started because of anxiety, but do you have any better outlets for it?
NJ: Not really
CT: You should try to do something with your hands. My dad's taken up painting and it's really helped when he wants to drink.
NJ: Maybe
CT: Hey, it's better than killing yourself with cigs
NJ: Good time, not a long time, as the saying goes
CT: You want to leave Apollo all by himself?
NJ: It's what he would like, according to him
CT: That is NOT true
CT: You know him
NJ: Unfortunately.
CT: Ok. So how about when I become fluent in Khura'inese to replace you, then you can start aiming for your early death?
NJ: I can agree to that, as long as you keep practicing
CT: (joke, btw)
NJ: I doubt you'll achieve literacy any time soon.
CT: Yeah, I can't read it yet
CT: I don't think Apollo can read tbh
NJ: I'm going to be here for a long time at this rate
CT: That's the idea
CT: I have to go, but ttyl. Don't kill each other
Even though not as corrupt as Khura'in, the United States' legal system was in poor straits. Its three-day system for criminal charges was almost comedic, but the corruption in the legal system was somehow worse than that. Earlier in the year, a renowned attorney named Phoenix Wright had gotten revealed as a forger, but it was looking like it was going to be an act of God to open them back up and re-investigate.
Everyone should have seen it coming, considering his impressive win record, but Apollo was still incredibly disappointed. Maybe what the Holy Mother was telling him was that he needed to stop looking up to lawyers.
Then again, Phoenix Wright could have been framed. Since the system was so corrupt, the opposing counsel could have set him up so the entire case could be thrown out by the judge. It wasn't out of the question, and it wouldn't surprise him very much if that came to light within the next fifteen years or something.
Phoenix Wright getting disbarred made national news, the justice system went on full PR mode. That's how his high school got various attorneys and prosecutors to give little lectures or whatever, for publicly funded schools. Kristoph Gavin, Esquire (an extremely fancy title that lawyers got to use, apparently) was at Oakwood High School for this county and was giving a talk about clientele retention. It was applicable to the wannabe entrepreneurs too, so it was better than what Clay had at his school. Apollo wasn't interested in being a lawyer too much anymore, especially since working for Phoenix Wright was out of the picture, but he enjoyed listening to the talk anyway.
When he went, he was surprised to be approached specifically by Kristoph Gavin. They exchanged some niceties, then he handed him a business card, promising that he'd stay in touch. The event was so minor that Apollo had forgotten about it entirely until near the beginning of his sophomore year.
"You have a letter from Kristoph Gavin," Yuta said as he went through their mail. On one hand, Apollo was glad that he was so attentive to retrieving every letter the moment he came home because he always forgot, but on the other, he was extremely nosey.
Apollo twisted around from his desk. His back and neck cracked from the sudden movement, but he ignored them both. "Really?" He said. "Gimme! I want to open it!"
Nahyuta simply raised a brow and tossed the envelope past him for it to land neatly on his desk. "I would never go through your mail," he lied (viciously, even), then tilted his head to the side. "Why is he writing to you? Did you ask for him to reach out to you?" He asked. There was something in his voice that he couldn't place; an uncommon occurrence.
Apollo ignored him, turning back to the laptop on his desk and shoving the letter into his desk. He'd read it later when his brother wasn't breathing on his neck. Or whatever. He would probably get the hint. "And I don't know why he would be writing me a letter."
"No?"
"Nope."
"How did he get your address?"
I guess he didn't. "I don't know, but he probably knows that I'm from Sunflower."
"Why?"
Apollo turned to give his self-proclaimed guardian a crooked look. "What's with all of the questions, Yuta?" He asked.
To his surprise, instead of demanding something, and acting like Apollo owed him information, Nahyuta sat down on his bed. He frowned and started smoothing the wrinkles out of the sheets. He did that when he needed something to fidget with, but wasn't manic enough to scrub away the grout in the community showers. "I'm just curious."
"Liar," Apollo accused. He shifted in his seat to get a better look at him. "C'mon, you want to say something, I can tell. Share!" He urged.
Nahyuta's expression twitched, probably from the shouting, but it vanished as quickly as it appeared. "I thought you didn't like it when I shared my opinions," he said monotonically, looking up at him with just his eyes.
Apollo rolled his eyes. "When I ask for your opinions, I want to hear them."
Nahyuta looked like he rolled his eyes right back at him without actually doing so (his levels of passive-aggression were to be envied; Apollo was a student of such behavior for years and he still had not achieved true mastery. It may be something innate to him as the older brother), and returned to smoothing out the sheets. "I met him while he was on campus as well," he started slowly, "and he made me uncomfortable. That's all."
"Uncomfortable?" Apollo repeated. "How did he make you uncomfortable?"
"I can't describe it very well," he said. "He made me sick to my stomach."
"A lot of things make you sick to your stomach." Apollo told him irritably. Since it was upsetting him so much, he pulled the envelope back out of the drawer and ripped it open. Maybe then Nahyuta would feel better and he'd stop hovering.
When he glanced over it, he was surprised. He wasn't expecting such a long letter, much less a handwritten one. In cursive. Apollo couldn't read cursive, so he stumbled through it.
Dear Mr. Justice,
I hope this message finds you well as you embark on your new academic semester. During the summer, I had the opportunity to review your school transcripts and extracurricular activities, and I was impressed by your achievements. Your aspiration to become a defense attorney is commendable, and I admire your dedication to pursuing this goal, particularly through the rigorous high school and dual enrollment courses you have undertaken.
Your resilience in overcoming challenges is noteworthy, and you have, in many respects, surpassed many undergraduate students I have encountered. I understand that you face significant obstacles that may limit your opportunities. However, I am pleased to inform you that I am seeking a protégé to assist in the expansion of my law firm. After careful consideration, I believe you would be an exemplary fit for this role; your last name is even "Justice." Fitting, no? Particularly in these trying times.
I am fully aware of your current circumstances and would like to offer my support by becoming your legal guardian, enabling you to explore your future in the field of law and your full academic potential. My firm is prepared to cover the costs of your education, and you would work alongside the Gavin Law Offices for a period of ten years. While I recognize that this arrangement may resemble a form of indentured servitude, I assure you that a contract will be drafted to protect the interests of both parties in this agreement.
I encourage you to contact me at your earliest convenience to discuss this opportunity further and to facilitate the commencement of your educational journey.
Sincerely,
Kristoph Gavin, Esq.
…
…
…What?!
Nahyuta straightened from where he was sitting. "What is it? What did he say?" He demanded.
Apollo wordlessly handed Nahyuta the letter, who scanned over it. His eyes widened. "What did you say to him?" He asked disbelievingly.
"Nothing!" Apollo exclaimed. "I don't—I didn't think I made that much of an impression on him! He barely even paid any attention to me! I forgot that I even talked to him!"
"Clearly you must have made some kind of impression." Nahyuta rubbed the side of his head like a headache was coming on. "Well—what are you going to say to him?"
Apollo licked his lips. "I don't know," he admitted. "Um…"
Nahyuta frowned deeply. "It is prudent of you to not answer immediately," he advised. "It wouldn't be strange, and I'm sure that he expects you to take some time to think it over."
"And you haven't accepted immediately? You're crazy!"
"Yuta told me that it would be a good idea to think about it."
"What's there to think about?" Clay asked, a frown in his voice. "You're getting everything you could ask for, aren't you? A job and a free education. Do you think I'd say no to Mr. Starbuck offering that to me?"
"No," Apollo admitted, then laughed at the thought. "The idea of you not immediately saying yes is pretty unbelievable."
"Isn't it?" He agreed. "You need to be more brave with your decisions. He's always thinking about worst possible scenarios so he's over-cautious sometimes. What's the worst that can happen?"
He considered his words and tried to picture Clay's face in his mind's eye. He was probably looking at him in the way he did when he believed someone was doing something truly stupid, and was ready to let them know it. It was always more bearable when Clay did that over anyone else; he managed it without looking down on him like everyone else liked to.
"The indentured servitude doesn't sound that great," he deadpanned. "And I don't even know if I want to be a lawyer. Phoenix Wright got me interested in it again, but—"
"So what? You don't have to stay a lawyer for the rest of your life, just for a little bit. You'd have a job straight out of school, and even have it paid for? Just tough it out for a few years and then you'd be free," Clay went on. "You've toughed it out in the children's home, so I know this has gotta be better than what that's been like."
"You have a point…"
"Besides, this is your ticket out of there!" He pressed. "I don't mean to tell you what to do, but it's almost too good to be true, but it's not! Your hard work has finally paid off, and you got lucky enough to get a well-established attorney's attention while you're at it. Why can't you just appreciate good things when they happen? We both still have to be lawyers and astronauts together, you know?"
"I don't want to just abandon Yuta at the children's home," Apollo confessed. "Especially since he doesn't like Kristoph Gavin, and I don't feel as strongly about lawyering as you do space."
"Leaving Yuta would be hard," he admitted. "But he's gonna be seventeen this year, right? He won't be there for much longer. Maybe you'll be able to help him better if you had a job or something."
"Yeah," Apollo agreed slowly. Everything that he was saying was making sense, but something about the whole thing still put him at unease for some reason. He knew that if he was talking to someone else in his position, he'd probably be repeating what Clay was saying to them too. It was too good to be true. Usually it meant that it was, but upon reading and rereading the letter, and even asking Ms. Rector to read it for him, there wasn't any kind of discernable catch.
"I don't know. Maybe you should talk to him about it. See what he really thinks."
Apollo involuntarily made a face at the suggestion. "Have you ever talked to Nahyuta before?"
Clay huffed on the other end. "I have," he said. "And he's not a bad listener."
"Maybe to you, but not for me," Apollo hedged. Clay could coax people through things better than he could, and Nahyuta was usually more tolerable to people than he was tolerable to Apollo. At the same time, Nahyuta was strangely set on this, more intensely than usual, so it wasn't going to be an easy sell, even from Clay. But maybe all they needed to do was to get him to understand Clay's side and he get off his ass about it. It wasn't like Apollo needed his permission to do anything.
Kristoph Gavin has a pristine record as far as Nahyuta can tell. This morning, he made the decision to go to the police station to inquire about him and it's where he is now. Because there have been so many people entering and exiting the archive room due to the re-opening of Phoenix Wright's cases, the door had simply been propped open since no one works at the desk. It's a bad system, but it means that he can go through every record of someone named "Gavin." The individual records are under lock and key, but Datz had been a good teacher for getting around things like this.
Based on the documents he's read so far: Kristoph Gavin's parents had immigrated from Germany while Kristoph was a child; he is also the older brother of Klavier Gavin, who was the prosecutor for Phoenix Wright's last case before getting disbarred. He went to Harvard Law School and opened Gavin Law, P.A. right after he passed the California Bar on his grandfather's dime. As far as Nahyuta can tell, he's since paid back that debt and is the sole proprietor of his firm. He is relatively successful, having earned most of his money by working on property law but appears to be attempting to enter criminal law, based on some of his more recent interviews and clientele.
He'd only recently started his career as far as Nahyuta can tell, but all the pictures and videos of him paint an extremely professional and put-together look. Everything about him gives off the impression that he's been working in law for years, and since his mother is a defense attorney herself, he probably has been.
In short, learning more about Gavin has only made Nahyuta more puzzled; everything about him is legitimate and screams of competency. He doesn't know why everything about him is repulsive to him. His website is nothing but full of platitudes, but aren't appearances one of the most important parts of being an attorney? Kristoph's is perfect. He even publicly vouched for Phoenix Wright's innocence months ago and seems to be personal friends with him.
After talking to Kristoph Gavin in person, it somehow makes Nahyuta feel worse. The idea was that his demeanor would be genuine, even if his words aren't. He knows all the right words to say and has an easy but professional smile that never quite reaches his eyes. His clothes look like they'd been dry cleaned early this morning and smelled like lavender; traces of makeup cover small blemishes on his face and hands and his hair is in a careful twist, held together by unscented hair gel and hairspray. Everything about him is unnaturally perfect, including his office which makes Nahyuta feel like a slob in comparison. He's a little bit like a computer's generation of a perfect attorney.
A spider runs across Nahyuta's back. Even she seems scared and unsettled.
"Are you interested in a career in law?" Gavin asks curiously. His pleasant expression does nothing to ease his nerves. "I remember seeing you when I went to speak at Oakwood High School. I'm glad to have someone pursue this further. The crowd there wasn't very excited by my talk, I'm afraid."
"I've been thinking about it," Nahyuta answers. "I was interested in the details of your firm so I came to stop by."
"I see." His eyes burn holes through his eyes and into his brain. "Are you looking for an apprenticeship?" He asked.
"Do you offer them?"
"No."
"So that wasn't your motivation in speaking at a high school."
"No." He twitches, and fiddles with the bridge of his glasses. He decides to wipe them off, using a microfiber cloth from his blazer pocket. "I was simply trying to help the new generation seek law out as a career choice. We don't have enough young people interested in upholding our justice system. It could be helped by the optimism of young people."
Nahyuta continues his questioning in the hope that he will say something strange, but he doesn't. It's not surprising but it is disappointing. When he leaves, he thinks that he may be bleeding from the amount of itching he's been doing on the palms of his hands. Despite that, they continue to itch. The insides of his hands are rotting, and he needs to scrape it out with his fingernails; he can't help it. And he'd promised Clay he'd stopped smoking. It has been three weeks and he still wants to make it to a month.
While smearing aloe into his hands in Sunflower's bathroom, he thinks that he should be happy for Apollo for the opportunity of a lifetime. He searches for feelings of envy, but they don't come. Nahyuta doesn't want to be a lawyer as much as Apollo has, historically. His issues truly stem from his deeply disturbed feelings that come from Kristoph Gavin, unless there is something in his subconscious that is being projected onto him. Unlikely.
He knows that Gavin wants something out of Apollo, specifically, from this offer, but he can't figure out what that can be, and not knowing things is one of the worst feelings on God's green earth.
Nahyuta wrinkles his nose at the scent of the aloe. He normally likes it, but Ms. Rector ordered a new brand and it smelled too much like Neosporin for his senses. He flexes his hands, then looks at the bottle for the offending ingredient.
In short, it does contain antibiotics.
He makes a noise of disgust and considers scrubbing it off his hands again, but the thought of a rough hand towel or—worse—a bristle brush from the kitchen dragging across his hands makes him grimace. He will simply have to tolerate it and buy his own aloe tomorrow.
He stares down at his hands. At least the first ingredient was aloe vera. It stains his skin with the color green.
I could be wrong about Gavin.
It wouldn't be out of the question. His premonitions are impossible to distinguish from generalized anxiety and his nightmares come from both. If he is wrong about Gavin, then it means that Apollo will have finally found stability in America for the next fifteen or so years. It's what he was supposed to have found in America, but better late than never. Right?
Maybe then he could go back to Khura'in after turning eighteen.
He has a physical reaction to the thought. Nausea, because it's always nausea.
I can't leave Apollo here while he's with Gavin, he thinks blandly. Especially if there is something wrong. Even if it's unlikely.
Besides, Nahyuta promised.
He closes his eyes and sighs. I'm so tired of this.
Clay Terran: Hi, it's your dad
Nahyuta Justice: Ha.
CT: How are you doing?
NJ: I'm keeping my end of the deal.
NJ: I don't need you to check up with me every day
CT: It's not just that. I like talking to you too
CT: it's funny getting to know you outside of the stories Apollo tells me
NJ: What does he say about me?
CT: Different things. Depends on what you fought about
CT: He mostly vents to me about when you argue, so I don't hear a lot when you get along so you seem a lot worse than you are
NJ: How lovely.
CT: My dad always tells me to learn the other perspective, and I want to do that too
CT: U still there?
NJ: Is something bothering you?
CT: did you hear about kristoph gavin's offer?
NJ: Of course.
CT: Pretty crazy, huh?
NJ: It is bizarre.
CT: You really don't think Apollo should go for it?
NJ: All I told him was to think about it. That's very different
CT: I guess so. I think that he should strike while the iron is hot
NJ: What does that mean?
CT: He should take it while the offer's there. It's a great opportunity for him and he'll be able to go on do good things
NJ: That has yet to be seen, but I'm glad he has time to think about it.
CT: Hey, I have a question
CT: Do you know how to get the smell of weed out of the upholstery of a car?
NJ: I've never tried but I could probably give you some ideas
NJ: Why?
CT: I don't want my friend's mom to know that we were using her car to hotbox
NJ: Why were you hotboxing?
CT: Peer pressure
CT: Apollo can't stand the stuff so he wasn't there, dw
CT: And he was worried about the smell getting all over him and you getting him in trouble
NJ: Good. I would have
CT: OK, pot
CT: Get it?
NJ: No.
CT: Because weed is pot but also because you're pot and I'm kettle
NJ: You're hilarious.
CT: So what should we do about the car? Aren't you good at getting smells out of stuff?
NJ: I have ruined the upholstery of a car before, so I'm not sure about this
CT: You think it's ruined?
NJ: Probably not. Marijuana shouldn't be too difficult to get out, compared to cigarette smoke, as long as you let it air out.
NJ: Use unscented air fresheners, but don't try to use heavy smells. That mixes with the weed instead of masking it
CT: How long would it take?
NJ: It would take a few days, most likely
CT: :(
NJ: Why would you hotbox in a car? The smell wouldn't have been a problem at all if you drove somewhere to smoke it
CT: We thought it was okay, but now torie's freaking out
CT: Don't tell Apollo about this. He wouldn't ever let me live it down
NJ: Alright
CT: Thanks for your help. Ttyl
NJ: Alright. Good luck
Kristoph Gavin: One of the boys from the children's home came to my office today. I'm not sure what his goal was, but I get the impression it was regarding my offer to you. I would ask to please keep the details of my offer private until we discuss this further. I don't wish for my offer to you to be standard for my office, should this get out even more. I was not aware that in telling you, it would result in everyone around you knowing as well…
KG: Please contact me tomorrow at 9 sharp to discuss…
The text message that Apollo got from Kristoph Gavin at 3 p.m. on some Thursday made Apollo's heart race and his stomach drop from his body. No, no, no, no, no—
Apollo didn't know he could bike as fast as he could when he raced back to the children's home. Why the hell would you do this, Nahyuta? Why? Why, why why why why—
Apollo slammed the door to their room open and unsurprisingly, his brother was there. Like usual, he was at his desk being boring and reading. "Nahyuta!" He shouted, stomping over to his corner of the room.
Nahyuta jumped at the sudden noise and snapped his head around. Probably about to scold him about being too loud. "Apollo—"
"Why would you go to Kristoph Gavin?!"
Pulse.
Finally, "What?"
In a rage, Apollo snatched his phone out of his pocket and shoved it into Nahyuta's hands. "Can you explain that? Huh?"
The look on his face told him everything that he needed to know. "I was—"
"What is wrong with you?! What the hell did you tell him?"
The remnants of guilt on his face absolutely infuriatingly shifted into the expression he'd developed that was somewhere in between a sneer and a smirk. He used it to talk down full-grown adults sometimes, but Apollo would be shot dead before he let Nahyuta successfully use it against him. "Listen to me and be silent. You loud, loud red pepper." He straightened, and gingerly set Apollo's phone down on the desk behind him.
"Don't talk to me like that, Nahyuta Sahdmadhi," Apollo spat. He didn't care that was the only rule of Dhurke's that made sense—the only rule that he cared about anymore. If it could get Nahyuta in trouble and wipe that look off his face, it would be worth it.
He barely had a reaction. He didn't even blink—not even as reaction to the use of his old name. "Kristoph Gavin is not a good man. I don't know what he wants from you, but it's nothing good. Do not trust him." He stared at him intensely with his uncomfortably bright, green eyes.
"Why not?" Apollo asked disbelievingly. "What did he do?"
Nahyuta grit his teeth and averted his gaze. "Nothing," he admitted, "but I—"
"You're making this up?!" Apollo demanded.
His eyes flashed. "Of course not," he snapped. "Why would I do that? You think that I don't want you to be happy?"
Apollo threw his hands into the air. "I don't know—I don't understand anything that you do, so why would this be any different?"
"Don't be so dramatic! I'm being serious—you shouldn't—"
"You're just jealous!" Apollo accused, pointing a finger at him. "You're jealous that I'm getting everything you want with only a fraction of the work! So you go into his office and try to get him to offer it to you instead!"
Nahyuta blinked at that, drawing back in shock, then scowled; a dirty, dirty look that Apollo hadn't seen from him in a while. "Why would I ever be jealous of you?" He demanded. "There is nothing about you that I would be jealous of. I have everything that you do, and more."
Lie. Apollo could tell a Nahyuta lie a mile away and he was a liar. "Liar! You're lying, you piece of shit! You're jealous of me and you want me to stay here in the children's home to be as miserable as you'll be until you age out!"
Nahyuta stood from his chair, his expression darkening even further. "That's not true and you know it. You believe a lot of delusional things about me, but that is by far the worst. You are losing your mind, you mentally ill child."
"Oh yeah?" He challenged. "Then why are you trying to take away the best opportunity that I'll ever get, huh?"
"I'm trying to protect you! Like I always have to!"
"Stop pretending that you're so much better than me! Or looking out for me because you aren't! You don't—not anymore. I don't need it, or you! All you do for me is try to screw me over! You're trying to sabotage my chances with Mr. Gavin and since that didn't work, you're trying to lie to me about him! And you've probably gone to him to lie about me too!"
"Do you even hear what you're saying right now? If I wanted to leave the children's home without you, I could have done that eight times over."
"So you can't handle it when one person likes me more than you? It doesn't feel good to be in second place, does it?"
The utterly baffled look that flashed across his face should have been satisfying, but it didn't do much more than upset him more. Did he somehow think that Apollo wouldn't notice? "What are you—"
"If you had stayed in Khura'in, I wouldn't have any of the problems I do now! You always act like I'd be helpless without you, but I'd really be better off! You make everything so much harder for me because everyone loves you just so much! I finally have a chance to do something away from you and you're trying to take it away from me!"
Something that Apollo would have never expected in a million years, Nahyuta stormed up to him and slapped him across the face. "Don't you ever speak to me like that! You don't know anything of what I've given up to stay with you in America!"
He didn't think being hit hurt much, but his entire face burned anyway. His brain felt like it was being mixed into gruel. This was the first time he had ever heard Nahyuta yell at him like this, and it was over something that Apollo was finally feeling justified in being angry at him for. Without any other word, Apollo launched himself into Nahyuta, knocking them both into his desk.
What happened after was a blur, but the outcome was all that mattered. Apollo got sent to share a room with the other boys while Nahyuta got to keep their room for himself. It didn't matter that he'd started it, but the director liked him more and he "hadn't been the one who broke a chair and desk."
It wasn't fair and no one cared.
"It's just for the rest of the week," the Ms. Rector said, exasperated when Apollo protested. "You'll get your room back after the weekend. I just don't want to have to separate you two for good if you end up killing each other." She took off his glasses and set them on the desk to rub his face tiredly. "I have done everything I can to keep you two together. Can't you just get along?"
Apollo was still too angry to be appreciative. "We would if he wasn't such a dick!"
"Just—get ready for bed. I'll deal with you and Yuta tomorrow. He's in a lot of trouble too."
"Then why—"
"You lost the coin toss. Now out!"
Apollo Justice: I hate Nahyuta so much
Clay Terran: What did he do?
AJ: Everything
CT: Wow
AJ: He thinks that Kristoph Gavin is a bad person and went to try and talk him out of giving me a job or something
CT: What? Why would he do that?
AJ: I don't know
AJ: He said that he was trying to "look out for me" but I just think that he doesn't want me to have anything he can't get himself
CT: Those are some strong words, apollo
AJ: That's what it feels like. I'm so mad at him right now I can't think straight
AJ: when I was trying to tell him how upset he made me, he wouldn't listen to anything I had to say
AJ: He even yelled at me and he's never yelled at me before
AJ: He even hit me and I'M the one who's in trouble
CT: Seriously?
CT: That's crazy.
AJ: I don't know what his deal is
CT: Do you want me to ask him?
AJ: No
CT: Why not?
AJ: If I'm mad still, he probably is too and you'll make it worse
AJ: Please don't poke the bear, Clay.
CT: Ok, ok whatever you say
Clay Terran: Hey Yuta
Nahyuta Justice: Did the red pepper ask you to text me?
CT: No. Don't tell him that I'm texting you
NJ: I'm not telling him anything after today.
CT: He said you hit him
Nahyuta is typing…
NJ: I shouldn't have hit him.
CT: He said you yelled at him too
NJ: Probably not the wisest decision on my part either.
NJ: Did he tell you what he said to me?
CT: Not really
NJ: He blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life and said that I was the source of all his struggles, none of which are remotely true.
NJ: And that he would be better off if I were still in Khura'in.
CT: Oh.
NJ: I hate it when he says things like that and I'm tired of being on the receiving end of all his tantrums so I hit him. He has had anger issues for as long as I've known him, and I have always experienced the worst of it.
CT: You guys need to go to therapy
NJ: We are in therapy.
CT: Welp
CT: Hope you guys figure it by the time I get over there lol
NJ: You're visiting?
CT: Am I uninvited?
NJ: I suppose not, unless Apollo uninvited you.
CT: He didn't. You'd better make up by the time I get there because I just got my license and I want to drive around LA this weekend
NJ: I'll see to it.
CT: Are you smoking right now
NJ: Yes.
CT: :(
NJ: Leave me alone.
CT: just this once
CT: I don't have much to hold you to anymore since you didn't tell Apollo that I stole my dad's weed once
NJ: You haven't done that again, have you?
CT: No
NJ: I've heard that smoking weed too young stunts brain development
CT: I've heard that, but I've smoked it less than a dozen times. I think I'll be ok
NJ: If you say so.
Mr. Gavin hadn't even meant to imply that he wanted to rescind his offer. Just that he wanted to talk in person about it in more detail and provide an actual letter of hire. He didn't mention Yuta once, and simply encouraged him to think it over, giving him a little more information and a proposed contract.
After he left, Apollo walked as far as he thought was safe from the Gavin offices and punched the side of a building as hard as he could, his shouting drowned out by the deafening sounds of LA traffic.
Why the hell hadn't Mr. Gavin made that clearer? Was he stupid for not understanding his tone over text, or did he do that on purpose to make sure he showed up on time? Did he care, or even know, that his text message caused the worst blowup between him and his brother that they had ever had in their lives?
Angry tears burned Apollo's eyes as he stomped all the way back to school. He'd missed all of first period for this. Why did the world hate him so, so, so much?
The world continued to hate him, because lunch turned out to be over-boiled spaghetti with melted queso as a poor excuse for white sauce, and he couldn't use his right hand for probably the next week because it hurt so much from the abuse. Apollo didn't know how much the world hated him, or if Nahyuta had the Holy Mother curse him—or just that he was so stupid that this was just a culmination of all his bad decisions over the course of the past 24 hours.
He wouldn't even be allowed to go to his own bedroom and sulk about it because he got kicked out of it for the next week.
This sucks.
What was more, Nahyuta had continued to avoid him, even during lunchtime, and ate with one of the newer teachers that the school had hired. Probably about to be another teacher's pet by the end of the semester.
Even while on the bus, he avoided him, and he couldn't make up his mind on how much it bothered him. His hand still hurt, and he was worried that he had broken one of his knuckles. Ms. Rector would be upset, even more than she already was. Apollo hoped that it was better the next time that he saw his therapist because he didn't want to disappoint her; he'd been making so much progress and he didn't want her to think that he'd regressed back to middle school. He struggled to text, but he tried anyway.
AJ: What do you want to do this weekend?
He started to fall asleep waiting for Clay to text him back, but jerked awake again when he felt his phone buzz in his hand.
CT: Idk. Have u and Yuta made up yet?we should talk about kristoph Gavin
Apollo scowled at the screen then shut it off. Clay would figure it out.
Apollo tensed when he saw Nahyuta coming his way that Friday during lunch. He didn't think that he was coming over to pick a fight, but he didn't know if he was about to apologize or find something to criticize.
"Have you seen the nurse yet?" He asked plainly, staring down at Apollo's hand.
Criticizing then, Apollo thought. He gave a big sigh to let his well-meaning and nagging brother know what he thought about his comment. He nonetheless felt relieved that Nahyuta noticed his hand. It meant that he was still paying attention to him, keeping his distance to wait for him to cool off instead of being truly upset. "I was going to after next period," Apollo answered, not looking up from his food.
"You should do it after this one. You don't want to miss a class that you're struggling in."
Apollo bit his tongue to stop himself from snapping at him. He was tired of fighting with him, no matter how good it felt in the moment. "I just have a B. That's still good, Yuta." He stirred his food around with his fork.
He was quiet for a moment, and tension in his shoulders left while he looked at him, resigned. "All right then." He sat down in front of him. "Is Clay coming to visit tonight or tomorrow? You never said."
Apollo blinked, looking up at him. He was staring at him with a neutral expression, as if they hadn't been fighting all week. "Uh…" he turned his phone on and started scrolling through his texts with Clay. "Let me check."
He started eating, patiently waiting for him.
"Tomorrow."
Yuta made a noise of acknowledgement and continued eating his lunch. He didn't do anything to make it look more appetizing.
Apollo took a bite of his food, making a face when he noticed that the queso was already lukewarm and starting to harden. Was he going to apologize or what?
After another minute of a prolonged silence, the only sounds being of eating nearly inedible spaghetti, Yuta said, "If you'd like, we can have a real conversation about Kristoph Gavin when Clay gets here."
"That sounds good."
"Excellent." Nahyuta finished his lunch, then proceeded to meticulously pack it onto his tray. "I'll see you after school," he said, then left as quickly as he arrived.
He seemed to be acting normal again now. Or maybe he was still angry and waiting to bite Apollo's head off but was waiting for the right moment. As unlikely as it was, it was not an unheard-of tactic.
Since the summer was over and school was back in session, it left the beaches bare, at least compared to the cities in the summers. There were always people at the beach in LA, but it wasn't unbearably so today when it was so cloudy.
Clay was not a good driver. Apollo didn't know how he'd passed his driver's test, even if it was very different in rural, northern Cali than in Los Angeles, like Clay had claimed. That wouldn't explain how he struggled with backing out of a parking lot, or noticing a stop sign at four-way stops.
Apollo liked the countryside of California. The air was better there and the mountains were prettier than the miles and miles of skyscrapers and never ending sounds of traffic. It was too bad that he hadn't been dropped off there instead, because he wasn't sure if he would have the opportunity to move there any time soon.
"…and that's why I think it's a good idea, personally," Clay finished, having gone through a bulleted list of five reasons Apollo should take Mr. Gavin's offer. It was structured a little bit like a lab report, and he'd probably worked on it instead of his physics homework.
They were sitting in a small circle, complete with Clay's drawings in the middle of them, but Apollo got the impression that Nahyuta was in his own world. He hadn't looked like he was paying attention to anything Clay said but did watch hypnotically while he drew charts and stick figures in the sand. Apollo could never tell what would interest him versus what bored him.
"You make good points," Yuta said mildly, after the silence stretched on for a little too long to be comfortable. He was staring past him at the ocean and didn't look like he wanted to expand any further.
"Okay…" Clay said slowly. "Then what the hell was your problem with this in the first place?" He demanded.
"Nothing," Apollo put in irritably. "All he says is that Mr. Gavin makes him uncomfortable."
Nahyuta sighed, and finally looked like he was paying attention. "I'm very happy that you received offer like this. It may be motivation for you to focus on something worth its time. Nothing else has been able to do that." He stared down at his hands, still buried in the sand. "I'm not envious of the opportunity, and I'm not worried about being left alone in the home. My worry is that you'd lost interest in being an attorney, and Kristoph Gavin seems to be a cruel, disingenuous individual with other intentions. I don't want you to take the offer just so you have an easy out of Sunflower." He brushed a lock of hair out of his face, leaving a trail of sand on his face.
It wasn't a very good answer. "I thought that you would be happy at jumping at a guarantee that I'd have something to do after Sunflower," Apollo said, crossing his arms.
"I do. But sometimes you're too naïve to see what's right in front of you and I'm concerned that would be the case but with a contract behind it instead. I wouldn't be able to do much for you in that situation." He stared at Apollo dead in the eye.
Apollo scowled. "You wouldn't have to!" He shouted, and pointed an accusing finger at him, glad that Clay could finally experience Nahyuta all the things he liked to complain about him in person. "This is what I'm talking about!" He looked back at Yuta, whose expression was pinched and tense, unwilling to have an outburst in public. "I'm sick of you acting like you're my mom and that I'm a stupid nine-year-old! I hate that you didn't trust me enough to do this on my own. Why else did you think I got so upset when you went to see Mr. Gavin without telling me first? Did you want to scope him out first to make sure that I wasn't messing up or something? I'm not a kid you have to chase after!"
"Then I would suggest that you stop acting like it." He gritted his teeth and was probably worried that people would notice the noise. Or maybe that Clay would finally see him for what he was.
"Seriously?!" Apollo exclaimed disbelievingly. "You—"
"Hey!" Clay shouted, standing up and in between the two of them. "This was supposed to be us talking this through!" He looked down at Nahyuta. "Apollo has a point. He isn't a little kid anymore, and it's why Mr. Gavin is letting him make the decision. Not you or the people at Sunflower, even. I know that you don't like Mr. Gavin, but based on my research on him, he seems like a reputable lawyer and trustworthy person." He gestured to his paper, hitting the backs of his fingers on it. "As I demonstrated for Point Four." He dropped it back into the sand. "Everyone in the law field is corrupt these days, but Kristoph Gavin hasn't had anything like that so far."
"So far," Nahyuta repeated with a sniff, moving his gaze away from Clay. From his expression, it looked like several things were going through his head until his posture relaxed and he sighed. Turning to Apollo, he said, "I won't stop you, Apollo. I know that at the end of the day, this is your decision. I could be completely wrong and be forcing you to miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime and I don't want that either."
He wasn't finished speaking but it was taking a long time for him to continue. He was probably taking the time to swallow more of his pride. Apollo could wait all day.
Clay, on the other hand, could not and pushed the conversation forward, pleased with Yuta's words. He was too trusting of people's intentions, but it was one of the reasons Apollo was friends with him, for better or for worse.
Clay turned to Apollo. "You want to take the offer, don't you?"
"Yeah." He swallowed his annoyance. It wasn't Clay's fault that he was getting in a worse and worse mood just by being around his brother. "The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of being a lawyer. Even if Phoenix Wright is actually a forger, he helped a lot of people, and I want to do that too. If Kristoph Gavin is one of the good ones, I want to help him, but if he's not, then I still wouldn't be using forged evidence anytime soon."
Nahyuta gave him a look that he couldn't ignore, even while it was only in the corner of his eye. It was the same kind of face he made when Apollo's Khura'inese took on an Californian twang, or when he forgot another Khura'inist holiday. He could already guess what he was going to say next. "But—"
"No," Apollo interrupted harshly, the denial already prepared before even the first word was out of Yuta's mouth.
He looked slighted. "You didn't let me finish," Yuta accused.
"I know what you were going to say already," Apollo said firmly. "This doesn't have anything to do with that anymore. If it did, I wouldn't even consider being a lawyer."
Nahyuta simply thinned his lips and looked back down to the sand, his brows furrowed. "Fair enough," he said distractedly. His hair was covering most of his face so Apollo had a hard time trying to discern what could be going through his mind.
Beside him, Clay shifted, glancing between Apollo and Nahyuta. Apollo didn't know if he could guess what they were talking about or not, but he didn't think that he'd ask. He had enough social grace to know that it wasn't something Apollo wanted to talk about in too much detail.
Clay did, and sensing the tension, he cleared his throat. "It's decided then!" He announced. "Whatever happens will happen and I'll be around for the pepper pollo if something happens." Clay nudged Yuta playfully. He didn't look amused, but didn't look like he was going to snap at him. It made Apollo's eye twitch; why did he have to get special treatment? Not Clay or anyone else would have to put up with Yuta's bullshit—just Apollo. It had to be a form of gaslighting or something.
"No closing remarks?" Clay asked with a frown. He'd clearly been expecting something more satisfying to happen, but Apollo didn't know how else it could have been resolved. Neither Apollo or Yuta were entirely satisfied with each other's responses, but that's what compromise was: it meant that no one was happy, and no one got what they wanted.
Apollo wasn't going to roll over and ignore the offer of his life based on an obsessive and paranoid hunch, and Yuta wasn't going to apologize for anything that he'd done or said in the past week. Like usual, he never thought that he did anything wrong. It pissed him off, but at least he wasn't willing to fight about it anymore. Not in public.
"Not from me," Apollo answered dourly, crossing his arms, and staring at Yuta with pursed lips. He tried to convey his challenge for him to raise any objections, through psychic sibling powers. Sometimes it worked.
"No," Nahyuta intoned.
Ha, it worked.
The more self-aware part of Apollo's mind thought that they were both pouting (but only an extremely little bit), but he banished the thought. He'd just been victorious over his brother in what felt like the first time in his entire life.
"I'll let Mr. Gavin know tonight then," Apollo said. It felt a little weird saying it out loud, but it did provide him with the satisfaction of a decision finally being made.
"That's good," Nahyuta said flatly, because he could never help himself. "Someone as busy as him will appreciate hearing back as soon as he can."
Apollo bit his tongue to avoid starting a fight but retaliated by kicking sand on him. He made sure it was high enough to get into his hair.
"You're so immature, Apollo," he snapped. The sneer he got in return was all the proof that Apollo needed that his words were supposed to be passive aggressive.
Not this time, buddy.
"We should go," Clay said, looking at Yuta while he meticulously picked the grains of sand out of his hair and the textures in his shirt. "I think we should drive around more. I need more practice," he said, standing up and dusting off his pants.
Apollo's heart jumped. He felt his blood pressure rise, all of his resentment towards Nahyuta forgotten. "Actually!" He cut in, "I think we should stay here for a few hours. When was the last time we were on the beach?" He didn't need to die right when things in his life were finally going somewhere. And especially not in Clay's old, junky car with coffee cups and fast food garbage from the week strewn over the floor.
"We should," Yuta agreed quickly. "We were chased away from the beaches all summer by tourists so we should enjoy this while we're here. Much like how Apollo isn't squandering his to be a defense attorney."
Clay frowned. "I guess, but I didn't even bring a bathing suit—"
Yuta stood. "There is somewhere within walking distance," he said. "You should have more than one anyway." He turned and slid his shoes back on, probably ready to start walking before anyone else was ready. Usually, it was annoying, but it set the precedent that he and Clay would always need to chase after him so they wouldn't lose him.
"Let's go!" Apollo ushered Clay onto his feet. "We don't want to be left behind again," he added, chasing after Yuta, who seemed to be walking much quicker than usual, even for him.
And just like that, Nahyuta was his greatest ally again, in the goal of not getting killed in a car accident. It was just how they were. Since they reached an end to this conflict, it wouldn't take long before they were back to normal bickering again.
Sunflower approved Mr. Gavin's adoption of Apollo within just a week. In fact, it seemed like some steps were skipped altogether; Mr. Gavin's response was that he knew someone on the home's board of directors so "They let me skip out on some of the more tedious aspects of adoption," he'd explained with a catlike smile. Apollo was getting used to it with how often they talked, but he understood why it put Nahyuta on edge, even if he hated to admit it. Sometimes (only sometimes), it could look a little bit disconcerting, but it was how Mr. Gavin was.
Since getting to know him better, he was a bit like Nahyuta, actually. Mysterious, a bit of a know-it-all, and kind of creepy until you got to know him. Maybe a little bit like American Psycho, but without all the murders.
"Why does he not instead take you in as his foster child?" Yuta asked when he found the adoption paperwork sitting on Apollo's desk. He didn't pick any of them up off the table, but he would probably be able to recite all of the information back to him if asked—numbers and all. Apollo had shouted at him for snooping through his things a couple of years ago, but it wasn't fair that he didn't need to touch anything to know things Apollo didn't want him to.
"If he adopted me, it would make the naturalization process a lot simpler."
"I suppose," he said slowly. He wasn't satisfied with the answer, even though it should make complete sense. He knew for certain that he wouldn't be deported anymore, and he would be put on an accelerated route to become an attorney as young as possible. He couldn't do that as easily as he could if he was a citizen.
A lot like American Psycho, Apollo amended dryly as he watched Yuta meticulously line up the edges of the adoption papers. He was always too busy to be a murderer but maybe he'd have some kind of psychotic break while on his own from one of the middle schoolers messing up the color-coordinated pillows in the common area again.
"I think it's fine," Apollo said, honestly. He was acting like he was actually kind of worried about this and it made him feel just a little bit bad. "It's not like I'll be changing my last name either. Once I'm eighteen, none of it will matter anyway."
Nahyuta's brow was still furrowed, but he seemed to be pacified by the explanation. "I suppose you're right," he conceded. He didn't seem convinced. Maybe if he took Apollo's words at face value for once, he would, but that wasn't the case.
"Speaking of…" Apollo said, trying to change the subject. He didn't like feeling guilty for something that he shouldn't feel guilty for, and he didn't think that it was Yuta doing it on purpose. No, Nahyuta Justice was much less subtle about trying to guilt-trip him.
"Hm?" Yuta tilted his head to the side. "What is it?"
"Uh—Mr. Gavin asked about you."
"Did he now?"
His tone made the hairs on the back of Apollo's neck stand straight up. God, why couldn't Mr. Gavin have just texted this himself? "He was wondering if you have somewhere to go after you turn eighteen."
"Not…currently."
"Mr. Gavin said that if you really need to, he could offer you a job at his defense attorney's office. Give you somewhere to start, you know?" When Yuta's expression didn't seem to change, Apollo continued, "But only if you need to! He thought that the offer might help put your mind at ease about this since he figured out that you…don't like the idea, so…" he drifted off, when Yuta closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly.
He was wearing one of those plastic smiles he did to appease teachers. "Tell Mr. Gavin that I appreciate the offer. I'll let you know if it comes to that."
"Good," Apollo said. He looked down at the adoption papers, sparing a glance back up to his brother. It looked a little bit like he was staring at the wall, but he was probably zoned out.
There was still tension between them, but he didn't think either of them were still angry with each other. Usually it doesn't take this long to go back to normal, he thought pensively. It wasn't supposed to go this way.
"What are you doing later today?" Apollo asked.
"I'm being paid to tutor Tara, so I need to prepare for that soon." He turned to rummage under his bed for his backpack and some of his books. "Hopefully it won't take too long."
Apollo watched as Nahyuta carefully dusted off the books and tucked them neatly into his bag, as though they weren't going to be jostled while he walked. "Oh, that's cool," he said. "I hope that goes well."
"Thank you," he said, then left their room, closing the door behind him. There had been so much door slamming recently, it caught Apollo a bit off guard with how much the door clicking shut didn't bother him.
Why does something tell me that he just didn't want to be around me? Apollo thought with a sigh.
A part of him wanted to apologize, just to see if it could make things better, but what did he have to apologize for? He didn't do anything wrong, and Nahyuta certainly wasn't going to be apologizing to him anytime soon.
Whatever, Apollo thought bitterly.
It was strange seeing Kristoph B. Gavin written down as Apollo's father on his birth certificate. It made him feel strange. He knew from the get-go that their relationship would be strictly professional—that of a protege and mentor—but he didn't expect the way seeing it written down made him feel. He wasn't even going to change his last name, but it felt like his true sense of security since he came to America.
Nahyuta wasn't Apollo's brother biologically or legally, and the only thing connecting them was a man that neither of them ever spoke of. Not that Apollo would ever deny that Nahyuta was anything less than his brother, but it was different when it was in writing. So, so much different. It didn't feel like it was him against the world anymore. He had, for years at this point, Clay's dad and his aunt who would help whenever they could afford it, but they were always so far away, and rarely visited.
His relationship with Mr. Gavin was really, truly, only professional, but now Apollo had it in writing that someone was legally obligated to look after him now. And he'd already extended that offer to Yuta too, if he really needed it. Apollo's life was finally coming together, after years of not knowing if it ever would.
Apollo had a future now, and Mr. Gavin was serving it to him on a silver platter. He was so glad that he hadn't let himself be talked out of it. Even if it did end in flames, somehow, it was going to be better than what he'd been doing.
Looks like I will be keeping my promise of becoming a lawyer, Apollo thought. The idea of it made him feel like he was vibrating from the excitement alone.
He was excited for what was to come, for this first time since leaving Khura'in, and that had to be a good thing.