Superman 2 (Richard Donner cut, with a little with the original at the end) - Australia Changes Hands

She's at it again! A short piece about Lex Luthor becoming the Ruler of Australia!

The White House

After the Kryptonians have taken over

Non had found a Newton's Cradle, and was briefly entranced by it. Ursa was sitting on the President's Desk, while General Zod was looking dispirited. These Earth creatures had been so easy to conquer, almost trivial. Now the three were encountering a problem seldom thought of by evil world conquerors: once you've conquered the world, then what?

Playing idly with an orrery, Ursa essayed, "You're master of all you survey." Such as it is.

"And so I was yesterday," Zod sighed, "and the day before." He turned over a page of a report, while Ursa examined her nails.

Then a solution of sorts offered itself.

They were unaware at first of a white handkerchief waving (and the concept of a white flag would have meant nothing to them anyway). It was followed by the flamboyant figure of Lex Luthor. Seeing no-one had noticed him yet, he knocked. The sound attracted their attention. "Hello there," he greeted them, "Lex Luthor," he introduced himself. None of the three showed any sign of recognition. He daringly stepped inside the Oval Office and repeated with emphasis, "Lex Luthor." Still nothing. "You've heard the name? The greatest criminal mind on Earth."

Bored, Ursa rebuked Zod, "I told you this was a puny planet," and slid off the desk to stand. She and Non moved towards Luthor.

Realising belatedly that their intent was mayhem (my kind of people), he backed up, protesting, "Wait just a moment! Wait until you get to know me better! Will you, please?" They ignored him. He raised his voice. "Wait! Look, I - I - I can give you anything you want! I can give you the brass ring! The unlimited freedom to maim, kill, destroy!"

Zod faced him. Though still bored, perhaps this human would afford them some brief amusement. Certainly he was brave coming in here, and Zod could appreciate that...to a limited degree.

"Plus," Luthor attempted, "Lex Luthor's keen mind, Lex Luthor's savvy. Lex Luthor's career guidance. Lex Luthor's School of Better -"

Ursa had grasped his thumb and, with not the slightest effort, began to break it. Luthor winced until Ursa let him go.

"We have all of this without you," Zod declared dryly. "You cannot bargain with what you don't have."

But now Luthor hit them with his bargaining chip (while sucking his sore thumb). "Magnificent One, what I am bargaining with is what you do not have: the son of Jor-El."

Non and Ursa both turned to Zod at that.

Now he had their rapt attention, especially Zod's. "The son of Jor-El?" he repeated quietly.

"I said that, didn't I?"

"Jor-El, our jailer?!"

Attempting sarcasm, Luthor quipped, "No, Jor-El the baseball player." The two moved towards him again and he corrected, "Yes, Jor-El, your jailer." So he recalled from the Fortress of Solitude. They halted again.

Almost to himself, Zod ground out, "The son of Jor-El? On this planet?"

"Aye," Luthor confirmed, nonchalant now. "Possibly you know him by his nom de voyage, or his name he travels under..." Then he let them have it:

"Superman."

Now, Zod thought, the misplaced confidence of the ex-President made sense. Doubtless, being Kryptonian as they were, he too would have powers born of the yellow sun and lighter gravity. "Ah. So this is Superman," he understood. "How do you know of Jor-El?" he inquired curiously.

"My Fullness," Luthor replied humbly, "as I explained to you before, I'm about the best there is."

This raised intriguing possibilities. At the very least Superman could put up a fight, where these feeble humans could not. "Revenge!" Zod growled, rising to his feet. "We will kill the son of our jailer!"

"Revenge!" Ursa echoed. So too would Non have, had he been capable. Luthor acted as a substitute.

He raised a fist and cried, "Revenge! Now we're cooking," he grinned.

Purely to confirm, Zod asked, "He flies, then?"

"Constantly," Luthor nodded.

"He has powers as we do?"

"Certainly," Luthor confirmed, then added to ingratiate himself, "but, Magnificent One," he was shrewd enough to see the three weren't immune to a little flattery, "he's just one, where you," he indicated all of them, "are three." Non growled, and Luthor amended, "Or four if you count him twice."

Heading determinedly for the door, Zod declared, "We will bring him to his knees!" The other two started to leave with him.

All three were halted in their tracks when Luthor snapped, "Wait!" Zod turned back, as did the others, and Luthor went on, "First you must find him. And," he finished significantly, "Lex Baby is the only one who knows where he is."

They looked at him, and he knew he'd got them.

Zod considered. For all its feeble gravity, this was a large world, and would take even them a long time to search. But this human was willing to give them a shortcut.

But, Zod saw clearly, not without a price.

He could almost appreciate the guile. Had humans been more capable he might have bargained the same way.

"What...do you want?" Zod asked slowly, for it was clear to one of his intellect that this Luthor did want something.

Lighting a cigar and sitting in the Chair, Luthor began, "Well, General, the world is a big place. Thank goodness," a puff of smoke, "my needs are small." He put one foot on the desk, lounging back, and the other on top of it. "As it turns out, I have this affinity for, ah, beachfront property."

Some small land, no doubt. Very well. It will be worth it to destroy the son of Jor-El!

"What do you want?"

Though the traditional gesture would mean nothing to Kryptonians, Luthor held up both hands in a V gesture and answered, "Australia!"

Zod sighed. So be it.

Outside the Sydney Opera House, Australia

Shortly after

The Australian Prime Minister was just about to go in to see Madame Butterfly when Lex arrived, carried by Ursa. "G'day, mate," he said jauntily in a terrible Aussie accent. "Just thought I'd have a little word. Lex Luthor. You may have heard of me."

Gough Whitlam had indeed - and had heard nothing good. "Didn't the Yanks bang you up? Life plus 25?"

"We did have a slight disagreement about what to do with the West Coast, it's true," Luthor smiled. "But things have changed. I'm here to give you the good news, cobber."

"And what might that be?" Whitlam inquired, nodding to his bodyguards.

"Australia has changed hands," Luthor replied airily. "You're not in charge any more. I am." Then he bowed respectively to Ursa. "Courtesy of General Zod, Ruler of Earth."

Whitlam laughed. It was absurd. "You're as loony as I've heard!"

Luthor chuckled. "The term 'loony' is purely a subjective point of view. But if you insist on a demonstration, which no doubt you will, what with the legendary stubbornness of Aussies..." He turned to Ursa. "Correct me if I'm wrong, which I very seldom am, but, ah, you wouldn't happen to have heat vision like Superman, would you?"

She smiled slowly. "You wish me to vaporise this individual?"

"Oh, not him, no," Lex shook his head, "I'll need him for the donkey work. But these guys?" He indicated the guards. "Feel free."

Her smile turned evil. As she gazed at the men, who by now had uselessly opened fire on her, red beams shot from her eyes to one bodyguard after another. To borrow from Jeff Wayne, under her unearthly gaze, there was a bright glare as each was instantly turned to fire, to Whitlam's horror. They collapsed into smoking black piles of human wreckage.

One, a woman, had barely had time to shriek in torment.

"I enjoyed that," she purred. Few things stimulated her more than death. "They burn so easily."

Luthor regarded the Opera House. "Just to make the point...would you mind turning that upside down for me?"

Ursa regarded him and scowled. "Am I a destructive toy for your amusement?"

"No, no, no at all," Luthor said hurriedly. "Um...please?"

She shrugged. It suited her. On this world she relished death and destruction, for it required so little effort. Both humans and their edifices were so fragile. So she flew to the Opera House, grasped its base...and lifted. With a horrible grinding, crunching sound it cracked at the base...and rose with her, rubble falling. Once she reached a hundred metres in height, she casually flipped the Opera House in her hands and let go. With a tremendous crash it fell to the ground. She savoured the screams she could hear from its occupants.

As Whitlam looked on, aghast, Luthor inquired simply: "Get the point?"

The ex-Prime Minister nodded numbly. He hadn't seen anything like that since Superman (he didn't show up often Down Under, but when he did he was memorable).

"Now then," Luthor said briskly. "You remain nominally in charge, and carry on running things. But make no mistake, I rule Australia. Any objectors, any rebels, anyone I just don't like, and..." he indicated the pathetic corpses.

"And that," Ursa added coldly, with a sweep of her arm encompassing the ruined Opera House, "is just the beginning if you defy him. General Zod has declared Lex Luthor to be the Ruler of Australia, and what he wishes will be so from this time forth. You have seen what happens to those who resist. If you wish to join them, say so. If not, bow to your new ruler. Now." Her eyes glowed red.

"She's not just blowing smoke," Luthor grinned. Then he lost his smile. "Five seconds, then it's November 5th."

He didn't require even one second. But as he bowed abjectly, he looked up at Ursa, helpless rage in his eyes, and finished, "When Superman hears about this...!"

"Yes, we know of this 'Superman'," Ursa nodded, contemptuous. "Where is he?"

Thinking of the hundreds dead and dying in a former landmark, formerly the pride of Australia but now a tomb, Whitlam sobbed, "I wish I knew..."

Luthor made as if to take her arm. Instead she grabbed his arm and they flew off.

A young aide, shocked at the deaths and devastation, hurried over to Whitlam and cried, "Sir, what was that?!"

He stood. He might not be in charge of Australia any more, but by God he knew what to do. "Call the emergency services - fire and ambulance crews. Move, Sheila!"

And, he thought despairingly as he pitched in to help where he could, pray for Superman showing up to save us from this nightmare.

Where the hell is that drongo?!

THE END

"Blood...maybe I ought to hire a bodyguard from now on."

"I don't want a bodyguard, I want the man I fell in love with."

"I know that, Lois. I wish he was here."

"Maybe he hasn't figured out his game plan, Chief."

"Game plan?! It's fourth down, the two-minute warning has sounded,

and the ball's deep in our territory! How brilliant do you have to be?!"

"Come to me, son of Jor-El! KNEEL before Zod!"

"Did you see the way they fell into our trap?"

"TOO LATE, LUTHOR! Too late!"

- -Superman 2 (Richard Donner cut, mostly)