Chapter 28: There's a Courage the Cowardly Dog reference here somewhere. Try to find it.

I don't own Highschool DxD, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new abilities in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

Rias intended to bring up the latest developments in Kuoh with Issei soon after her discussion with Asami and Akeno. She really did.

"Mmmmm."

The only problem was that in spite of the severity of the situation and her position, she couldn't help but quickly fall asleep whenever she curled up on the Sekiryuutei's lap and closed her eyes.

It wasn't her fault. It was like he was built to be the perfect human body pillow. With all the nonsense and the stress that she had accumulated over the past few weeks, it was hard to not fall asleep once she had assumed the position on the couch and on his lap, pun somewhat intended.

After all, trying to break bad or remotely uncomfortable news to him immediately after coming into his room wasn't exactly a brilliant idea in his current mental state.

Unfortunately, being naked while taking said naps and giving him some extra skinship didn't seem to have much of an effect either, much to her chagrin.

She accepted that he was in a deep depression, but come on! A beautiful naked devil teen was literally sprawled on his legs and latched around his waist several days straight! The least he could do was get a little hard as a reaction! It was a slow game, but Rias' self esteem was taking a serious hit with how little her charm tactics were working! He was going to owe her big time after this!

That said, he really didn't respond to her much regardless of her state of dress, if at all when she did talk to him. She had caught him lightly patting her head for a minute when he thought she was asleep last night, so there was progress, but that was about it.

It wasn't enough. The world was moving whether they liked it or not, and letting Issei stew without preparing him would only make things worse in the long run.

"Is it okay if I bring you up to speed on a few things happening? You're kinda related to them." She half mumbled without moving her head from his lap or her arms from his waist.

Issei didn't respond, his impassive face never turning away from the computer playing porn and his right hand still writing on some documents. Rias couldn't tell from this angle if they were medical related or porn related from this angle.

"You're not going to like a couple of them." She warned.

This time Issei reacted by closing his eyes and breathing very slowly and very deeply. The temperature in the room notably spiked to almost uncomfortable levels before almost painfully dropping down at a more gradual rate a few seconds later.

Good. He was willing to at least listen to her instead of shutting her out from the get go.

"The original representatives from the Vatican that we mentioned will be here in the next day or two. I think the initial plan was to house them in the abandoned church in town, but well, given its state it's been decided that they will be housed here when they arrive. Michael was being vague, but I was informed they are capable of protecting themselves in a fight if needed, though I think it's more for Asami's sake."

No reaction. Which probably meant that Issei either didn't care, or at least was somewhat pleased with the extra help for his mother.

"The next, is a bit private, but I'm hoping you can talk to Akeno at some point soon, when she's ready. I believe it'll be good for the both of you."

Again no reaction.

"Memory File number three?" She tried to hold back a wince, knowing that she was taking a risk with the revelation.

Issei froze, and for the first time in over a week, he turned down to look at Rias.

His dead eyes and heavy bags gave him a haunted, inscrutable gaze that made it difficult to determine what he was thinking.

Rias had an idea though. Issei's head ran at a mile a second whenever something truly caught his attention… though the direction it ran in was another matter entirely.

Knowing of his "Memory Files" wasn't that surprising, seeing that Asami could have brought them up at any point.

Knowing of a specific File that he himself was unaware of was another matter entirely.

The only people that knew or were able to tell her of THAT information were the ones that erased them in the first place. And if that was the case, then there was no limit as to what else she had been told of as well.

"Grayfia came to me a few days ago to ask how committed I was to helping you." She admitted, hugging him tighter in spite of the hairs on the back of her neck starting to stand up. "After I said my piece, she gave me everything… well, almost everything."

There were a few holes still missing in the final story that Rias noted. Nobody knew what Ichirou's story was, and Carnelian's personal goals were still a mystery.

The temperature in the room started to rise again.

"You're not a monster." Rias refused to let go. "You're not a bad person, Issei. You're too kind for that. You're just hurt and need help that's long overdue."

Issei's breathing was starting to become unsteady, and the pen in his hand broke under his tightening grip.

Rias knew that she had pushed too hard. He wasn't ready to have that particular conversation, to let anybody in his heart again, just yet.

"... Okay. I'll stop, but please let Akeno come in to talk at some point. I already talked to Asami about it, and while she has her thoughts on the matter as well, she agrees that you two should talk. She needs it more than you do."

It was a dirty thing to do, but playing on Issei's natural curiosity and OCD worked in her favor as the increasingly oppressive feeling stalled.

As closed off as he was, he couldn't help but be confused by her words. He didn't remember what had happened with Baraquiel and Akeno, and as far as he knew, the only things that he and the Queen had in common were a notably dark sense of humor, a mutual interest in carnal topics, and an unfulfilled bet invoked sex toy order that even Akeno didn't want to talk about, most likely because she didn't know what to get yet.

Rias still enjoyed bringing it up every other day with new suggestions to catch Akeno off guard. For a self proclaimed sadist, the poor girl got far too flustered whenever even the idea of handling something more… exotic than a whip came into conversation.

She now understood why Issei enjoyed calling out the miko's bluff so often. It was just too fun not to when you had the material to back it up.

Saying, truthfully, that Akeno genuinely needed to talk to him was not something he could not understand or let go.

Issei's body shook, and a noticeably frustrated exhale told her that he would let it go, but she really was pushing his patience.

Rias grimaced, knowing it probably wasn't the best idea, but going for it anyways. "There's one last thing you should know, and you're probably not going to like it."

This time, Issei genuinely started to growl in irritation, and the temperature started to rise for a third time.

The Devil braced herself. "Lord Tiamat will be entering Kuoh tonight."

PEW!

Rias blinked as her body jerked and fell on the couch effortlessly. Her arms, still looped, no longer held onto Issei, as though he had just teleported out of her grasp.

Looking around for a brief moment, she thought he had run away from the building entirely without somehow diving through his bedroom windows (again), but the sound of something shaking violently above her dismissed that idea.

Up on the main banister of the house, hanging upside down with a terrified bug eyed expression, Issei held on for dear life like he was some sort of cartoon cat or dog.

"Ooooooooh!" The Sekiryuutei shivered and whimpered in absolute horror.

"... Snrk." Rias couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter and relief. Compared to the near ballistic dragon from seconds earlier, this Issei felt more like a harmless housepet that looked more liable to hurt himself running around in circles or down the stairs than someone else. He was just so adorable and hilarious at the same time that it was hard not to react. "Really Issei? Tiamat's supposed to be on your side, isn't she?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!" According to him, apparently not.

The fact that he was acting like this in the first place could be considered a sign of progress in a way.

Issei jumped to the floor, ran to a poster of two women in leather kissing, pulled it off, and revealed an honest to Old Gods big red button with the words "IN CASE OF TIA" written in big bold letters right above it.

The Devil's smile dropped immediately into one of panic. "Issei" and "big red buttons" were two things that in her opinion should never be mixed if her instincts were anything to go by.

"Issei! No! She's not here! She has rules! She has rules! Listen to me first! Don't press the button!" Rias immediately jumped and tackled him before he could literally punch the button and set off whatever catastrophic shenanigans in the house he had installed without anyone knowing.

Just a reminder for the readers, while Issei may be the Sekiryuutei, he's still at his core a human, while Rias is a High Class Devil. As such under normal circumstances, she is in fact physically stronger than him and able to pin him down. Even if he's flailing about like a little bitch.

"I heard a woman scream in terror!" Asami shouted from downstairs. "I take it you told him about Tiamat?!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"I'll take that as a yes!"

"Not helping! He has an emergency Red Button!"

"Damn it Issei! I told you not to set that thing up!"

"Nyahahahaha! Oh I totally forgot about that thing!" Kuroka laughed.

"You knew?!"

"Knew?! I helped!"

"Damn it Kuroka! This is why everyone never trusted you alone with Issei!"

"Are you serious? First the ER living room and now a big red button? How did you let this idiot get away with messing with the house without anyone noticing?" Raynare groaned, also from outside.

"Do you have any idea how fast he goes through those ridiculous projects of his when he abuses Ddraig's powers!?"

"Oooh. What's so special about a red button?" Asia asked…

… Standing just a few feet from where Rias was wrestling Issei so he wouldn't do something stupid.

If Rias wasn't so busy holding a certain panicking dragon down, she would have questioned how the blonde girl had gotten in the locked room in the first place without anyone noticing.

Issei's eyes bugged out even wider at the unexpected guest.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

He wasn't even trying to reach the red button anymore. He was just flailing about wildly in a blind panic. Apparently the additional Ninja Puppy shock on top of bringing up Tiamat was too much for him to process.

"Oh! Is this that "naked wrestling" thing I was told about earlier? Should I get some of that special naked oil stuff?" Asia, bless her soul, was only trying to help.

"Naked what now?" Raynare sounded far more interested in what was going on than she was before.

"It should be in the bottom cabinet in the bathroom." Kuroka "helped" in her own way with far too much glee.

"How is it that nobody associates "panicking dragon" and "oil" with "uncontrollable fire"? Anyone?" Asami practically begged the household.

"No! Stop! I'm trying to stop him from doing something ridiculous again!" Rias shouted.

"Why? Who's Tiamat?" Asia asked innocently, speaking the forbidden name.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Well, progress takes many forms… in a sense.

o. o. o.

"Do you have your possessions and matters in place, girls?"

"Yes Sister Griselda." Two teenage girls stood at attention in front of the beautiful nun that they saw as family. To a normal person, the sight would have been odd in itself, had it not been compounded by the fact that both young women were equipped with swords, wearing cloaks, and under those cloaks were skintight black leotards that left little to the imagination despite the fact that they were padded and reinforced for fighting.

"Now do remember to practice patience on this mission. You will be surrounded by sinners and monsters alike, regardless of what they may appear to be, and in a land where the Lord's influence is meager. Do not let their deceitful words and intentions fool you." The elder of the three lectured.

"Mmm." The teenaged girl with brown hair in long pigtails nodded eagerly, a peppy energy seemed to radiate from her with every gesture she made. "We have to look after Issei and make sure he doesn't fall further into corruption from those Devils and Fallen without causing any problems!"

"I still don't understand why we can't just extract him from that territory." The other girl huffed and crossed her muscular arms, her short blue hair swayed around her beautiful features, only making the one lock of hair that was green stick out more.

"Xenovia, you have seen the reports. Our target's safety and wellbeing is critically valued by all three major factions. Monopolizing him would cause more trouble than it's worth." Griselda lectured.

"That and anyone could tell that Issei would just tear apart anyone that forced him to do anything he doesn't like. Did you see that video? He was like all "you all messed with me long enough! Only this time I planned for it because I'm not an idiot!" And everyone else was like all "Oh no! We screwed up this time!" And then the Maou was like all "Issei, I know we screwed up, but you're so strong that I'm going to have to actually show off my power for real to make you realize I will fight back seriously if I have to so please don't hurt anyone!" I can't think of anyone other than the highest ranks of Heaven that could make a Maou back off by themself!"

"You are far too eager for this mission Irena." Xenovia turned to her excited compatriot with a dry look.

"It's been over a decade since I've been to Japan! I miss it! And Issei!" Irena pouted.

"How do you even know that's really him? You last saw him when you were five. Nobody remembers stuff from when they were five."

"I do too. And that's definitely Issei. Nobody else shamelessly speaks straight from the heart like he does, even if he's angrier than he used to be. He's more honest than most of the Vatican."

"Be careful with your words Irena. Many of our peers and superiors could take them as an insult."

"All the more reason we should help him see the light of God to raise our standards."

"Fufu. It's never a bad thing to be a little motivated for their next task." Griselda laughed at the pair's interaction.

And then the air changed.

The nun's physical appearance did not change in the slightest, but the weight in her words seemed to triple in impact. "Girls, in addition to your original task, I hope you will not be remiss on the recent addendums made to your responsibilities."

Both girls immediately stood at attention, their immature bickering already forgotten.

"We are to report about the missing Excaliburs to our contacts in Kuoh and inform them about our spies tracking them to the city." Irena nodded.

"I still have objections. Do we need to inform them about this? We are capable of doing it ourselves." Xenovia frowned.

Griselda shook her head. "Kuoh is under high security by all three factions. The fact that the culprits have not only stolen these artifacts but managed to transport them to the city successfully without detection until now underscores their resources and capability. You will be searching for a highly organized and resourceful organization of unknown origins. Their intentions may be to cause more conflict between the factions, or even agitate the Sekiryuutei even further than he already is, one way or another. There is a chance the culprit may be one of the factions themselves, though we will have to keep that suspicion muted for now. While it is unorthodox, his Holiness the Pope has convened with Lord Michael to cooperate with the Devils and Fallen on this matter until otherwise ordered."

"... Very well. If his Holiness deems it necessary, then so be it. We are his blades to swing as he sees fit." The stern teen frowned.

Irena nodded in full whole hearted agreement before she seemed to think of something. She gestured as though about to speak, but held herself back at the last moment.

"Something dwelling in your thoughts, child?" Griselda asked kindly.

"N-no. Nothing of significance, Sister. A careless thought. Nothing more." Irena shook her head in denial.

"Very well then." With a heavy sigh, the nun released the heavy atmosphere around them and smiled genuinely. "If nothing else, know that I am proud of you two and wish you the best of luck with the trials you will face. Stay strong and keep God's light in your heart. Amen."

"Amen." The two girls prayed.

Five minutes later, Xenovia and Irena were with their luggage and waiting for their cab to the airport.

"You're still wasting your time on those rumors?" Xenovia broke the silence first, giving Irena a dry stare.

"R-rumors?" The twintailed girl looked away innocently.

"The one about something amiss going on in Heaven. About how the Sekiryuutei claimed to have "fixed" something of the Holy Father's to help the Angels."

That something happened to God was left unspoken between them by extension.

It was a major topic of rumors and whispers in the shadows among those in the Church. Most of the humans cared little about what the Sekiryuutei claimed about the other Factions, but his supposed feats of aid to Heaven were major points of contention.

Fixing the system? New generations of Angels? If it was anyone else, the Church would have sought them out and executed them for spreading such blasphemy.

And yet the higher ranks of the Church not only kept quiet, but put a gag order about the topic too.

Irena was blindly faithful to the Church… but Issei was Issei. He clearly meant what he said and wasn't the sort that lied in general, much less about God.

Something did not add up.

Irena shook her head. No. This was simply another test of her faith that needed to be surpassed. "It doesn't matter to us. We have our mission. Lord Michael and his Holiness will enlighten everyone with the truth when the time is right."

"Mmm. Good. The less distractions the better. As soon as we get to Kuoh, we can figure out our next moves."

Irena nodded, and was about to say something, when their stomachs growled. "Eheheh. Well, I don't suppose that food counts as a distraction, does it?"

Xenovia sighed and looked around. "No, I suppose it doesn't. Our flight does not leave for some time, and it has been a while since we traveled."

"Yay! It's been a while since we've been able to eat something nice!"

The stern teen glared at her partner. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Irena proudly puffed her chest out. "It means that as grateful as I am for the lord's bounty and the Church's support, I am still a girl that hungers for her homeland's standards of cuisine!"

Xenovia rolled her eyes. "Not this again. I still don't see what the big deal is about food from Japan. Food is food, isn't it? It goes down and comes out all the same."

"Oh don't worry partner! I'll show you the folly of your ways soon enough! It'll be like having a second revelation for you!" Irena gleefully walked forward, taking the lead.

"H-hey! Don't speak such blasphemy like that! Irena!? Irena!"

And so the two nuns went, found, and had their authentic Japanese lunch.

In an Airport.

It would not be the only major financial mistake they would make on their way to Kuoh. It turns out that among the lessons that the Church gives their agents, financial management was not mandatory.

o. o. o.

"I'm back."

"That was rather quick." Akeno hummed from the kitchen as Kiba reappeared from his magic circle. "Did you satisfy your client too quickly? Or not at all?"

The Knight ignored his peer's teasing effortlessly. He had been around her for years to get used to it. "The former. She just wanted me to help clean her apartment a bit and give her a quick massage. With everyone in Kuoh being influenced to go home early under the security magic the Factions have put on here, people have ironically been more productive at home. That includes cleaning apparently."

"Fufu. I guess we're giving everyone an unintended service then." As if expecting him, she came around the corner to hand him a cup of tea, which he really could not be more grateful for if he tried.

"Seeing that you're here, I'm guessing you encountered something similar." He noted.

"Mmm. It turns out that shorter work hours means a smaller demand for emergency Devil masseur services." She put a pitying hand on her face. "Now they can settle for the conventional human services on the company tab."

It was a pleasant discovery of Rias and Sona that, due to Japan's high work culture, demand for Devil services was unusually high among the populace, even if said services often boiled down to mundane tasks like housekeeping and personal attendance work.

… That said, it didn't mean they didn't receive the occasional "please for the love all all gods kill my boss I'll do anything" request.

"Well at least the money is circulating somewhere." Kiba chuckled before taking a sip of his drink.

"Screw the system. It's run by perverts." Koneko, who had been stuffing her cheeks with sweets to resemble more a squirrel than a cat, muttered.

"Ara. Don't tell me we have another Issei running around claiming the world is controlled by porn." Akeno teased.

Koneko made a disgusted look. "Knowing my luck and the way things have been going lately, it might as well."

"Don't mind her. She's just been on edge with a certain stray staying nearby recently." Akeno sighed, ignoring the side eyed glare she got in retaliation. Rias had been sending unsubtle hints every other day about how Koneko should reconcile with her sister and air out all their dirty laundry, but progress was slow going.

"Now now. It's not like any of us are free of personal issues." Kiba laughed, trying to lower the tension. "We all have to address them at our own pace eventually."

"I wonder what that says about us when Gasper appears to have made the most progress out of all of us as of late." Akeno mused out loud.

The room went awkwardly quiet as her words sunk in. The shut in cross dressing vampire that freaks out whenever anyone looks at him funny was making more emotional healing progress than they were.

"Hey, uh guys? I think I found something… that…" Speak of the Devil, literally and figuratively, Gasper walked into the room…

… Only to see three ominously calm faces turn to hum, their eyes practically glowing in focus.

"EEP! Don't kill me!" On cue, the Vampire jumped back and hid behind the hallway corner again.

On the plus side he didn't freeze time by accident anymore. Or at least, this time.

"Ara? Oh dear, I think we may have gone a bit far." Akeno sheepishly placed a hand on her cheek, lamenting her slip of character.

"... Scaredy cat." Koneko mumbled while turning back to her snacks.

"Sorry about that Gasper. It's not your fault. We just got caught up with something." Kiba laughed embarrassed. "What was it you wanted to tell us?"

Peeking his head out from the corner, the effeminate boy shivered and was already on the verge of tears. He had half a mind to run back to his room to grab one of his paper bags. "I found something online that I think you might want to see. It's been spreading around like crazy."

"Something online? Is it a rumor?" Akeno asked, confused.

"N-no. It's a video. Of Issei. When he was a kid." Gasper swallowed heavily as he came further into view with a laptop. "With Riser. And Jasmine. And Carnelian. A-And Kuroka."

The room was ominously quiet for several long seconds.

"Well now. And I thought tonight would be dull." Akeno's eyes widened slightly, to show her blatant interest in the revelation.

It didn't take more than a minute for Gasper to set his laptop up for everyone to see what he was talking about. On the Deviltube website, it was one of the first videos being advertised, with the title "The Sekiryuutei was telling the truth about starting Ig Alima?!" in big bold letters.

Right underneath a still frame of a young Issei literally biting and brawling a slightly younger Riser in public.

It had only been posted for at most a couple of hours, but it had already racked up almost a million views.

"Nope. Definitely not dull." Kiba agreed with Akeno's earlier statement.

Koneko didn't say anything. She still had her bowl of snacks, but now she was holding and eating from it like it was popcorn.

"Here it goes." Gasper tentatively announced before clicking the link.

o. o. o.

"So what are your thoughts on Harems?"

"Issei, no harem soliciting on the job."

"Awww."

From the camera's view, Riser, Carnelian, Jasmine, Riser, and Kuroka were all standing in front of a building somewhere in the devil world. All of them were dressed to impress for their stations but with their own personal flair.

Riser's ludicrously expensive dress shirt was opened to show half his toned chest.

Jasmine was in a fashionable set of skinny jeans, a halter top that showed off her large chest, and a pristine white lab coat over it all to give her a "sexy scientist" look when combined with her bunned up hair that left a few strands going over the front of her makeup face to somehow give her a "professional but still willing to fuck" appeal.

Kuroka was likewise dressed in what she was in now, with her ritual-like black kimono revealing the top half of her chest flaunting her natural feline beauty.

And last of all was Carnelian, who was decked out in a professional pencil skirt and suit top with glasses. That said, anyone that had seen her recently could tell that the quality of not only her clothes, but the way she carried herself now was like night and day. The albino young woman was clearly nervous and skittish, looking around nervously and unused to be on camera.

As for Issei, he wasn't in view of the screen. Technically, the top of his head and hair was, but that was it.

"Is he always like this?" The attractive devil newswoman with wavy brown hair standing with the group asked curiously while looking down at where Issei was being held in place by Jasmine.

"Unfortunately." Riser rolled his eyes dramatically.

"It's because I'm short, isn't it?" You could literally hear Issei pout off screen.

"No, but do please add to the list for us to use on you later." Jasmine sweetly mocked.

"The camera isn't rolling now, is it?" Carnelian asked warily, looking at the screen.

"Don't worry, we'll let you know when we're live." The cameraman laughed. "Everything outside of what's actively broadcasted can be edited for the reruns."

"Mmm. Just like in a proper porn shot. Behind the scenes records should always come at a premium." Issei nodded, sounding confident.

"Uh…" The newswoman looked at the group confused. Devil society was pretty lax when it came to exposing their young to things like porn, but even then it was rare to see someone as young as Issei immediately make such connections in conversation.

"Don't ask." Carnelian and Riser sighed.

"He's just like this." Jasmine and Kuroka continued… completely missing the sight of Issei pulling up a large cardboard poster with a childish scribble on it that said "Looking for Prospective Harem members. Please call the following number:"

Odds are that said number was out of service by now.

"Uhhhhh…"

Issei then flipped the posterboard around, showing a picture of a chicken with familiar hair and another message. "Public reminder: Regeneration does not equal STD immunity."

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

FWOOOSH!

"Hey!"

The child's afternoon project was immediately set on fire by an off-screen Riser.

"... Not that he isn't funny, but why did you bring the brat here?" The cameraguy asked.

Everyone replied with a different answer.

"He's extra help?" Carnelian smiled unconvincingly.

"He's a stalker." Riser deadpanned.

"He's a sponsor!" Kuroka smiled.

"He's our secret weapon. With a broken mute button." Jas flatly stated.

"Oh come on! I'm the one that had the idea and half started making this place from the beginning!" Issei's small hands waved wildly from the bottom of the screen. "I even named it!"

Jasmine sighed and rolled her eyes. "And your parents, among others, would kill us if you made a fool of yourself on international television. Which is why you aren't allowed to be part of the actual interview. Remember?"

"Think of it like you're a secret boss of Ig Alima?" Carnelian tried to help.

"But how will that help with getting more people for The Harem if I'm not recognized?" Issei's hands waved about even faster. "They'll think I'm a poser! A liar! A leech! A civilian! Gasp! A fluffer!"

"You're too young to be considered a fluffer, idiot, even down here. You're letting your mind run wild again." Jas started to grind her knuckles down on the brown head of hair.

"Ow!"

"Explain why you were looking at Riser for that last bit?" Riser growled while holding up a flaming fist.

"What? You're still a work in progress. Everyone knows it."

"... Jasmine. Please let go of the target. We have thirty seconds before we are live, which is plenty of time to carbonize his body."

"Bring it you flaccid turkey! You didn't even know what a three eyed turtle was till last week you man-whore wannabe poser!"

"Nyahahahaha!" Kuroka just laughed, finding the whole bit hilarious as, before anyone could react, the two boys launched themselves at one another, kicking up a cartoonish cloud of dust in the process.

"Haaah. Sorry about this." Jasmine apologetically looked at the newswoman. "Those two are always butting heads but it's been worse lately. I think Issei's starting to hit puberty."

"Don't worry about it." The woman shrugged. She had seen worse.

"Mutant Geko!"

"Discount Elemental!"

"If anything, keep it coming." The cameraman sounded more entertained, focusing more on the childish fight. "Nobles pay more to cover up fuckups like this per second. There's more money stopping these things getting out then there is in the original interview."

"You don't say? What sort of numbers are we talking exactly?" Jasmine sounded far too interested in the revelation.

"Jas. No. We like Riser, remember?" Carnelian chided.

"We do?"

"It would take a while to train another noble, nya." Kuroka "helped".

"Ugh. Fine."

"Hey kids, I enjoy the show and all, but we're live in fifteen." The voice behind the screen warned.

Those that weren't fighting momentarily stilled before getting into position.

Jasmine stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled like she was calling a dog. "Riser! Issei! Showtime! Knock it off!"

The fighting froze instantly and the dust cloud settled to reveal Riser holding up and pinning the now visible child Issei to his chest via Issei literally biting down on Riser's forearm. Riser's free arm was clawing at the boy's skull with a flaming claw, while one of Issei's hands was grasping at the arm he was biting while the other one was literally digging into Riser's stomach as if trying to grab at the man's organs.

The pair momentarily looked at Jasmine and then back at the other as though debating whether or not to keep fighting before they literally threw one off the other at the same time as though they had done this before, which they probably had.

"Rabid beast." Riser scoffed as he momentarily burst into flames to reset his clothes and hair in pristine clean order, before flinching and looking at marked arm. "How your bite marks still stay on Riser is a mystery."

Issei, having dropped off screen, spat loudly. "Probably because despite being a fire chicken, you're still pink and raw as a fetus on the inside."

"Boys. Work now. Play later." Jasmine walked up and dragged Riser to his position with the rest of the girls.

"Yeah yeah." Issei's hair traveled across the bottom of the screen to the other side. "Just make sure to give all the hard questions to Nee-san or Snowball. Bird Person's half fried brain cells can't handle anything outside the usual list of fifty questions that all Nobles are trained to answer by age seven."

"By the old gods, Riser will skin that brat one day." Riser lifted up a shaking fist with eyes that burned of impending death.

"H-holy shit this kid is gold." The cameraman clearly had trouble holding back his laughter. "We gotta cover these guys again."

"Marcus!" The camerawoman hissed as she made some last second touches to her hair and got into position.

"Live in three. Two-" Judging from how everyone's eyes pointed to the side, it was likely that the man holding the camera was making hand gestures to count down.

And at zero…

BOOOM!

Everyone flinched as an explosion took place to the side of the screen and debris flew at everyone.

"Not my fault! Bird Person did it!" Issei shouted off screen.

"The fuck was that?!" Jasmine shouted as the camera turned to the side to show that the bottom floor of the next building was freshly ablaze with parts of it still falling to earth. A few extra seconds to look at some of the signs on it indicated that it was part of one of the major bank chains in the underworld.

"I thought this was supposed to be one of the nicer and safer places to get set up, nya!" Kuroka groaned. "Isn't this place supposed to be near some major noble hotspot?!"

"These guys are dumber than Bird Person!"

"Seriously! What has Riser done recently that has warranted your constant nonsense?!"

"Well you talk shit about me to Canary behind my back for starters."

The street was awkwardly silent for ten seconds.

And then Jasmine facepalmed loudly. "Seriously?"

"... Riser has made no effort to hide from anyone in any circumstance what his thoughts of you are. At all." Riser looked at Issei as though he was an idiot.

Carnelian and Kuroka this time facepalmed. "Boys." The pair groaned in perfect sync.

"You tried to push her away from me!" Issei shouted defiantly.

"She's my sister! Of course Riser would try to protect her from your twisted chaos!"

While the pair was arguing, three rather violent looking Devils in borderline trademark bank robbing clothes ran out of said bank with bags over their shoulders, energy and magic primed in their hands if they weren't occupied by their loot or weapons, violence in their eyes, and blood on their shoes.

And they were being completely ignored by Riser and Issei.

"I was just starting to help teach her how to expand the use of her fire magic you inbred chicken farm reject! She wanted to know how to heal using her powers! Do you have any idea how big anyone in your family could be if they didn't limit their bullshit regen properties to just yourselves or your Phoenix Tears?! Unlike you, she has the potential to be something!" Issei snarled, his eyes turning slit and his teeth becoming fanged.

"Riser doesn't care if she has the potential to be the next Maou! If that means you getting your deranged claws in the Phoenix family further than you already have and actually having a say on our future generations, then Riser will wholeheartedly reject and smother that notion in the womb!" Errant red and gold flares burst around Riser's body as his temper began to reach its peak.

Issei's mention of Riser's lineage caught the thieves attention, and prompted them to run at the two in a hurry. No doubt they intended to use the pair as hostages or something similar.

"Oi brats! Don't move if you-" The closest of the three ran up to them with his hands covered in generic magic energy, aiming for Issei first since the boy looked like the easier target.

""FUCK OFF!"" Both Riser and Issei turned to the newcomer and shouted at the same time, releasing enough magic energy and raw heat to not only blast the poor fool away but literally melt some of the asphalt street around them.

"Holy shit. Tell me you're getting this Marcus."

"I'd fire myself if I didn't Beth."

"Wait. You're still recording this?" Jasmine gave the news reporting duo a double take.

"Better. We're live." The reporter's smile widened. It wasn't often that those in the news industry managed to be on site when a member of nobility actually started to throw hands outside of a Rating Game.

"... Shit." The human woman swore before turning to the two idiots who were more interested in arguing than paying attention to the criminals that were aiming their spells and weapons at them. "Boys! You're on TV! Stop screwing around and make us look good! You will not ruin this for me! Or else!"

"Did she just threaten a noble?"

Jasmine reached into her pockets and pulled out several filled syringes loaded with fluids and solutions of various colors. "OR ELSE!"

"Oh no. She brought her latest test brews." Carnelian paled.

"Nyope. Nyot dealing with that today." Without any hesitation, Kuroka took out some senjutsu tags and threw them at the ground, making a barrier around the two, leaving the camera people and Jasmine on their own.

The woman's outburst seemed to snap the two literal hotheads out of their argument if their full body shivers were any indication.

Jasmine rarely ever conducted experiments on the two, but it has happened. Usually under duress.

Even Issei's blind reverence of Jasmine took back seat to self preservation whenever she was near with a fluid that he didn't recognize.

The pair looked like they wanted to still make shots at one another when one of the bandits lifted a gun and sprayed bullets in their direction at full auto.

Issei's left arm flickered red for a moment. Unseen by anyone, his body's raw physical defenses were enhanced several hundred fold in that moment, causing the bullets to bounce off his skin harmlessly.

Riser didn't have to do anything as his body was punctured in several spots before fire and flesh knit his body as good as new.

Both turned to the thieves as though the criminals were less people and more annoying tasks that they had to do.

It was either that, or the fact that more of the street around the two young men started to literally liquify and boil that clued the thieves in that they were in notably deep shit.

"Hey. You're the camera whore and noble. This is your thing, isn't it?" Issei evenly asked, unaffected by the sweltering heat and fumes around him.

"Don't tell Riser you're actually afraid of getting your hands dirty." Fire started to pour from the Devil's body as though it was a substance instead of a phenomenon.

BOOM! BOOM!

More explosions rocked from the bank. Some from the upper floors.

Issei looked more interested in the chaos than his opponents, normally a lethal mistake. "Banks keep their vaults and liquid assets in the basement."

Riser blinked in surprise for a moment before looking at the latest round of explosions, instantly getting what Issei was pointing out. "Hoh. Riser sees now. This may be more interesting than assumed."

Material valuables were kept below… but valuable information was kept above.

This wasn't a conventional heist.

"Blast them while they're not looking!" One devil shouted while pointing a fully automatic gun glowing with magic at them.

"Got it!" The other channeled magical energy into his hands as though he was a part of Dragonball.

They didn't even get to attack before Riser beat them to the punch without even looking with a literal tsunami of fire that engulfed the two criminals and launched them down the road, complete with burns and ruined equipment.

"Oi oi. The hell's going on here? I told you three to hold the fort, and you get your asses kicked already."

There was no flash of magic or special power. Instead, it looked like the tanned middle aged male Devil with short orange brown hair had appeared from the shadows with his arms crossed, acting more like a disappointed uncle than anything. Dressed in casual bright colored clothes to contrast his tanned skin, he appeared to be just some middle eastern guy more likely to casually go out and hang with friends than heist a bank.

"... You know him?" Issei asked.

"Not in the slightest." Riser frowned. The fact that Issei was at all interested in some random guy meant that he was someone that needed to be focused on.

"Tch. Seriously? Camera's here already? I was hoping we'd get more squared away before it got this messy." The guy in turn seemed to treat Issei and Riser just as lightly. "Huh, the Phoenix's second son? Or was it the third? I guess that would explain the noise. Not sure about the kid though. Wait, is he even human?"

"He's a nightmare. You can have him." Riser deadpanned. "And you are?"

"Nah. Not interested in the babysitting business. And I'm not too keen on giving my name out to the public. Sorry." The guy leaned to the side to see the girls a bit back and smirked confidently. "Now those cute ladies back there on the other hand…"

The road literally began to shake as Issei growled, his cheeks stretching back to show fanged teeth and fire coming from his mouth.

"Welp. He's dead." Kuroka was heard stating her thoughts on the new development as though it was a foregone conclusion.

"Ah. Dragon. That makes more sense. Didn't expect one of your lot here." The guy blinked in mild surprise.

Riser shook his head and took a small step away from Issei. "Against his better judgement, Riser offers you a word of advice. It would be best you leave now. This one is difficult to keep in line at the best of times."

"You make it sound like the kid's more dangerous than you are. He doesn't look a day older than ten." The thief chuckled, vastly more interested in the women further back than the boys he was talking to now…

Or at least he was, just before Issei appeared right in front of him with his hand stretched out, and eyes wide open with the promise of violence.

"I'm eleven."

"Holy-!" The guy swore in genuine fear and panic as Issei reached out to touch him…

… And vanished into a black hole in the man's chest.

Riser blinked, surprised. It wasn't often that anyone managed to get away or outmaneuver Issei without being properly warned ahead of time.

"Fuck that was close. Kid almost tagged me there." The guy stumbled back, patting himself down to make sure he was intact as if he had just barely avoided getting shot, the black hole in his frame already gone. "The hell was that? A Knight? No, that didn't look like high speed movement. Teleportation? No, there was barely any magic going off there."

"Riser should be the one asking questions. What is a member of the Abbadon household committing blatant thievery like some plebeian?" Riser took a step forward, regaining his composure quickly. It was hard to mistake the "Hole" timespace spellwork of one of the few Devil clans that was deemed a peer to the Seventy Two pillars.

Riser had witnessed their clan specialty implemented on multiple occasions, but he had never seen or heard of someone applying the fissures in spacetime on their own physical bodies before. As a shield or as multiple rifts in the battlefield as interference sure, but never on their own person. Someone like this would without question have been known or talked about before in the noble circles under normal circumstances.

"Since never. Half Devil accident. Don't even have the "clan" name, not that I ever wanted it. Cowards never came to get me, so I don't see why I should promote them like I'm some cheap commercial." The man dismissed Riser's accusation with a scoff while staring down Riser, the shock of Issei's attack quickly wearing off. "That said, I don't suppose you could just turn away from this. I'm here for the bank. Not whatever posh upscale nonsense you're doing."

It wasn't on screen, but Carnelian twitched at the revelation.

"We're opening a charity organization for lower class and converted Devils you prick!" Jasmine shouted, causing the thief to momentarily pause. "Do you have any idea how much your bullshit's going to lower the property value here? We just finished the down payments for this place!"

"... Seriously?"

"YES!" Jasmine's anger was practically visible through her reply. On screen, Riser sighed and nodded in agreement to coincide with the story.

To be fair, the property did take up a very large chunk of their savings and investments to set up, and Jasmine was naturally rather sensitive about their financial state, assets, and investments due to her own personal situation.

"Well then… that's painfully ironic." To his credit the thief had the decency to look abashed at the revelation. "Sorry about that."

"I take apologies in cash, liquid assets, resources, and or blood!" Yeah she wasn't going to let go of this anytime soon.

"Jas, can you not say that to the guy that literally just robbed a bank? While in front of a camera and on live television?" Carnelian pleaded.

"Do I have to remind you what we promised our sponsors?!"

"Give her a break. She's been working harder than you to get Ig Alima set up properly this past year and then this happens? Let her vent." Kuroka played Devil's advocate.

"As cathartic as this is to my associates, I do hope you don't hope for me to wait and you to stall for your comrade to find whatever it is they need from the documents and files in said bank." Riser asked knowingly, causing the man's casual demeanor to stiffen slightly.

"Well aren't you a bright inbred nugget? And here I thought you were just another showbird." The man started to strafe his target and reached outward into a fresh portal, pulling out some magical explosives in the process.

"Riser blames the boy for that poor impression. The child does that to people." More fire started to flourish around the noble, twisting and growing as though it was alive. "Speaking of which, where did you toss the headache?"

"I'm surprised you care. Don't worry. I just sent the brat a few cities over. He's safe." The man scoffed.

"You misunderstand. Riser was not concerned about his safety in the slightest." The Phoenix shook his head in disappointment…

A chill ran up everyone's spines, and a small shadow blinked into existence right behind the thief.

Instincts took over as the man jerked to the side and slowly turned around…

To see Issei just half a meter behind him with his hand reached out for his head, his eyes wide and focused like a predator going for the kill.

"Riser merely wanted to estimate how long the peace and quiet without the brat would last." Riser sighed with a small knowing smirk.

"THE FUCK!?" The half Devil seemed to have some training as he managed to barely dive away from Issei before any contact was made and into a fresh hole in the ground that vanished a second later.

"Tch." Issei clicked his teeth as he landed on his feet and looked around for his target.

That quickly ended as he noticed the bomb the man dropped about to hit the ground just two meters away from him.

BOOOM!

"It's not often you let one escape." Riser smirked, standing just outside the blast zone completely untouched and not reacting at all as Issei blinked into existence right behind him with an annoyed look on his face.

"I didn't miss."

"Hoh? Is that what you're calling it now? You're not going to allude your shortcoming to some crass pornography term again, are you?"

Issei looked at Riser with a sharp stare. "He covered the back of his head with a hole. My fingers passed right through where he should have been right before he escaped. To pull off a trick like that on reflex isn't normal. He's trained and experienced."

"Dangerous", went unsaid.

Riser blinked in surprise for a moment before frowning. In hindsight it made sense. Even among veterans and the like, it wasn't often that someone got one over on Issei multiple times in a row. "Mmm. Riser supposes so. That does make the current situation more interesting."

Slowly the two turned away from one another and kept their guards up… or at least Riser did.

Issei on the other hand looked around for a moment as though pondering an idea, sighed, and then started to casually walk back to the screen, and the rest of the group, as though he was taking a convenient stroll.

"Uh, and the boy is, walking away from the incident?" The camerawoman, who had been giving a play by play of the event, stared dumbfounded at the new turn of events.

"OI! What do you think you're doing?!" Riser snapped.

"Waiting for the police." Issei shrugged, not stopping. "That portal guy came out to stall us. We aren't obligated to get involved in the first place, so if we leave him alone he won't bug us. Plus we'd probably set the bank on fire if we tried to beat him since he's likely hiding in there in the first place."

"Nyahaha. Yeah, that would be a bit too much even for you, wouldn't it?" Kuroka laughed. "You got into enough trouble after you blew up that Church last week."

"He did what?" The Camerawoman balked.

Issei shivered. "Mom and dad almost didn't let me come here for that nightmare. It's not my fault! How was I supposed to know those jerks mixed up our order with smuggled explosive compounds labeled as Columbian Holy Water?"

Columbian what now?

"By not setting it on fire?" Jasmine asked as if it was obvious.

Issei flailed his arm in childish frustration. "I was testing the product just like you told me to!"

"How does burning holy water test if it's actually holy water?"

"I told you it smells funky when you do it right! It's not like I can taste the stuff. You don't know where it's been!"

"Like fire is any better!"

"We're not Devils! Bird Person wasn't around to do the "touch and see if we burn" test!"

"Riser objects to the idea that he would have played along with that!"

"You guys are quite carefree." The camerawoman strained to keep a professional smile on as she turned to Carnelian, who was clearly in the same boat judging from her looks.

"It takes some time to get used to."

"So… Columbian Holy Water?"

"Supposedly it has peculiar hallucinogenic properties. Some groups use it instead of alcohol, but it's also used in certain medicinal solutions. Even for Devils."

"Forget the water. Riser doesn't believe this. You expect us to do nothing after all that? Do you know how this will reflect on the Phenex family should Riser provide next to no service? Have you not heard of Noblesse Oblige?" Riser grimaced and also started to march back after Issei.

"I mean, it depends." Issei scratched his head. "Now the cops will know that they're dealing with at least five Devils, three of which might be downed by us, one of which is at least an upper High class threat and has portal powers, and they're after some classified information while stealing stuff as a cover. Unless they lock the place down with some sort of anti-timespace barrier, those guys will probably get away before the feds get through half the building. Even if they don't run, that guy's portal powers will make trying to charge in with brute force an utter nightmare with the traps he has set up to stall for more time."

"Might be downed?" The Camerawoman asked skeptically, noticing that the three men that the boy and Riser had taken out easily earlier were nowhere to be found.

"It's a bank with a vault and security boxes. You know how some people treat Phoenix Tears these days given their current market value." The boy shrugged as if pointing out something simple.

"Huh." The woman blinked in surprise at the point Issei made.

"He does that a lot." Carnelian tried to help.

"So do you think this has something to do with the Abbadon family in some way?" Jasmine asked.

Issei waved his hand dismissively. "Nah. Probably not. The guy is too good to make a risky move like this on something personal in the middle of the day. More likely he's a mercenary that got stuck with a shitty job or really good pay. He shouldn't bug us so long as we move away from here…"

His voice said one thing, but the child's searching eyes screamed another…

It all happened almost instantly.

"... There." Issei's arm flickered red.

"Wha-?" Carnelian gasped off screen.

Issei vanished from view.

"Oof!" The sound of a body hitting the ground was heard.

The camera whipped around to show Issei kneeling by a new hole in the ground, and somehow using his right hand to grasp the edge to hold it open. Nearby, Carnelian was pushing herself up from the ground, having been pushed out of the way of said hole just as it appeared.

"Oh come on already! How is he holding the hole open?! What's with this kid!?" The Devil with Abbadon blood cursed from the other side of the gap.

More curious was the fact that in his left hand was an air horn of all things, the camera again just barely catching something red on said arm before it returned to normal.

"Oh fuck he took out THE AIR HORN!" Jasmine paled and warned everyone in genuine terror, prompting everyone that knew Issei to cover their ears without an instant of hesitation.

"Got ya."

Issei didn't so much as flinch as he shoved the loud toy into the black gap and went wild.

If it had been a normal toy, it would have caused some earaches and disorientation with its loud, high pitched discharge.

BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Unfortunately, most items that had a notable number of boosts applied to them no longer qualify as normal.

A shockwave rattled the street…

… And what was akin to a bomb of sound and air literally erupted on the second to top floor of the bank, blowing out all the windows at the same time. Shattered glass, papers, and random debris sprayed and rained down on the streets seconds later, but otherwise there was little genuine physical damage or risk posed to those on the streets.

"Right." Pulling his arm out of the portal as though nothing was wrong and allowing it to snap back into nothingness, Issei brushed his hands on his pants and yawned. "Now we can go."

"Can you for once warn us whenever you use one of those blasted things?!" Riser roared clutching at his head, whether it was due to his damaged ear drums or due to anger was anyone's guess.

"Surprise attacks don't work if they aren't surprises though." Issei innocently tilted his head to the side confused.

"What, just happened?" The anchorwoman staggered to her feet, disoriented if her constant blinking was any indication.

"Hold on." Issei walked over and reached up to put his glowing hands to her head, healing her ears quickly. "Better? I've gotten really good at making sure there's no tinnitus anymore."

"I… yes. You know white magic?"

"I know enough." Issei's simple reply caused Jasmine, Kuroka, and Carnelian to laugh briefly to one degree or another.

"So, care to explain?" The woman asked warily, briefly glancing at the screen, no doubt to check if the camera was still going.

"Not much to cover really." Issei shrugged. "The guy needed to buy time for whatever his partner was doing, and he was interested in the women here. You know how things get dragged out when civilian hostages are involved. Ah!"

In an instant, the boy was next to Carnelian and hugging her crying crocodile tears, acting far more like his age than anytime before. "I'm sorry Snowball! I didn't mean to hurt you or surprise you! It's just that the portal guy would have tried something harder to deal with if I had warned you guys! I'm sorrrrryyyyy!"

Regenerating his ears, Riser grimaced at the awkward scene and glanced up at the damaged bank.

Issei had purposely skipped explaining a few steps in his logical deductions. Like how the boy was so certain the girls would be targeted as soon as he told everyone to leave. No doubt due to how their opponent had taken notice of them earlier.

Or how Issei specifically used the over boosted air horn to likely take out the enemy, and likely whoever it was that was going through the bank's data files, but likely shattering most of the computer monitors in the process as well, ruining any hope of the thieves' goals from being accomplished in the first place.

Specifically doing so without setting the building on fire like Riser was liable to do if he had taken matters into his own hands.

The Phenex clicked his tongue in annoyance.

Issei had rushed to do everything himself again.

He glanced back at Jasmine, and the pair exchanged a brief wordless conversation to indicate that they would have to talk to Issei about his actions again later.

"Oh look. The cops are finally here." Kuroka noted several vehicles, armored and not, arrived on the seven as even more Devils flew over the area and started to bark out orders.

"Riser will stay. They will need to take his statements, and Riser shudders at what could happen if any of you, save Carnelian, were to speak." Riser told the others.

"Aww. Tell us how you really feel." Jasmine mocked with a teasing smirk.

"You're a sociopath." He flatly declared.

"See? Was that so hard?"

"What has Riser's life become?" The man sulked, defeated.

"Ours to play with as we see fit." Jasmine patted him on the shoulder without any sympathy.

"You are going to have to remind Riser of the benefits of your unrestrained sadism again." He looked at her unamused.

"I-"

BOOOM!

BOOM! BOOOM! BOOOM!

Jasmine's witty reply was interrupted as, just when the law enforcement started to enter the bank, explosions started to go off without any form of restraint. Each and every floor was shaking violently, if not going up in flames altogether.

Flames that were, in addition to the flying debris, far too close for the group and cameraman to feel comfortable with.

The screen turned and jostled to match everyone running away from the madness.

"Not my fault! I blame Bird Person!"

"You already said that you fool!"

"I am nothing if not consistent!"

"What the heck is going on?!" Carnelian shouted to be heard.

"It looks like either the thieves either found what they wanted or they just don't care anymore!" Jasmine replied.

"That doesn't make sense! Wouldn't they just run away if they wanted to give up?! Nyobody set up a barrier to stop them from escaping!" Kuroko moaned while covering her sensitive cat ears. She didn't do well when it came to loud noises.

"Tell them that!" The human woman snapped before noticing something falling right in front of them. Something with a flashing light and with wires. "Bomb!"

"Got it!" Without any hesitation, Issei ran forward and reached forward to grab the explosive, only to head first into another portal that opened right in front of him. "Oh Fu-?!"

"ISSEI!" The girls shouted as the hole closed behind him and vanished instantly.

"That kid has no one to blame but himself for this." With that ominous statement, the Abbadon Devil stepped out of another portal nearby with a grave look on his face. "I don't like working kids, but he should have just stayed out of this mess and let me take one of you hostage. A close associate of a Noble would have stayed the feds long enough to get the job done. I really wasn't going to do anything to any of you until everything was set, but I can't afford that now."

He stopped with a grunt as he walked face first into a barrier of Kuroka's.

"Senjutsu. Nya." The Nekosho flourished several of her sealing tags with a smirk. "Nyo chance of making portals here and getting us again."

"Are you kidding-senjutsu?" The man clicked his tongue and looked around to prepare for any more surprises, while taking out another IED. "How many niche overkill people can you get showing up in one place for no reason? First a noble, then a dragon, now senjutsu? What's next, a holy sword?"

"I mean, technically Issei does have one of those things stored away. He doesn't use it for much though." Jasmine half mocked, half answered. "But I don't think he'll need it."

A titanic fireball lit up the street and flew like a missile at the man. Behind it, Riser scrunched up his face in anger, his body an inferno. "Riser is getting sick and tired of being dismissed as though he were some invalid!"

Said titanic fireball vanished into a disproportionally small black circle that opened in front of the target, sucking it in like a genuine black hole effortlessly.

BOOM!

And a second hole opened up right on Kuroka's barrier, exploding and shattering it effortlessly, throwing everyone back violently. Somehow the camera, and screen for that matter, remained intact, functioning, and pointed at the action the entire time once it stopped shaking.

"Sorry kid, but half assed moves like that won't work on me." The man mocked half heartedly as he walked towards the dazed and disoriented women and camera crew. "I really didn't want to escalate things this much, but you know what they say about plans."

"They all burn!" Riser roared as he rushed towards the thief, his body now aflame.

"Spoken like a true blue blood dumbass." Without even looking, the elder man reached out into a portal, pulled out a bomb with crystals and magic circles on it, and casually tossed it in Riser's path.

Riser tried to burn and overwhelm the explosive with his fire. He really did.

Unfortunately that only set off the device, which warped and froze the space five meters around it instantly.

Riser did not so much as flinch, stuck in literal time and space. His fire not even snuffed out but stuck as rigid as he was.

"Chrono-cryo bomb. Expensive, but useful as sin against bigger headaches in a pinch. Double so for those fire throwing nuts."

A hole appeared in the man's blind spot, swallowing up a tag that Kuroka had thrown at him with deadly precision.

Another opened up in her blindspot, hitting her with her own attack and making the Nekosho's body go rigid instantly.

Jasmine took a nervous step back, realizing that she was actually in serious trouble. "What the hell is with this guy? He prepares and abuses hammerspace worse than Issei."

Carnelian swallowed just as heavily and looked around for any sort of help. For a moment she turned to the police force for help, only to notice that a black hole in the sky above them was discharging some sort of substance that was causing chaos in the ranks and rendering them completely frantic.

This… this wasn't a normal heist. This was too intense. Something else was clearly at work here.

Surprisingly, Jasmine made the first move, throwing down some item fast at the ground between them and their attacker, instantly making a thick cloud of unknown chemicals erupt and envelop everyone.

Carnelian jerked as Jasmine grabbed onto her arm and ripped her to her feet to run away. "Come on! We have to get out of here! Unless this guy's part dragon I'm useless he-oof!"

Five meters from the cloud, the girls slammed face first into a hard surface and fell back.

The hard surface being their attacker's barrel chest as he casually walked out from yet another black hole behind him.

"Go away!" Carnelian shouted in genuine fear as her glasses shimmered for a moment before they transformed into two flying masks.

The albino's temperament immediately dropped into impassiveness as "Fear" and "Anger" shone with greater and greater energy, clearly about to attack…

BANG!

BANG!

And were immediately shot down with bullets of pure light as the man pulled out a genuine exorcist Magnum from his side and dropped them effortlessly.

"The fuck? First time bombs, now holy guns!? Seriously, who are you, some behind the scenes ex special forces?!" Jasmine paled and crab walked back, only to fail miserably due to how awkward her lab coat made it.

"Sorry. Just someone that was expecting a far easier job than this disaster." He sighed and sauntered over to his soon to be victims patiently, gun still in hand. "So, you know another abuser of hammerspace and hoarder of fun toys. I'm guessing the dragon kid. Sadly, he isn't showing up anytime soon. Even if he is fine after tanking the bomb, he's stuck in an abandoned Rating Game field. So if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you'd cooperate and be a pair of good host-"

CRACK!

CRACK!

The sound of something real and not shattered, as though a fissure in an unidentifiable and undefinable substance had just been made.

The camera swiveled to the source just a bit to the side…

Where two pairs of fingers were literally spearing out of thin air, pushing through and wrenching open space itself like it was a door that was being kept shut.

Right where Issei had vanished.

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR."

A low and hollow growl echoed in the streets, soft and intense enough to make some of the dirt and pebbles in the area bounce and move like they were on a speaker.

One set of fingers were encased in black armor. The other red.

Slowly, two gauntlets became visible, wrenching the gap in reality. The back of the red gauntlet was a familiar emerald.

The back of the black one was an eerie silver with a slit down the middle that was stitched shut.

"That red gauntlet. Is that-?" The Cameraman balked as he recognized the divine treasure literally clawed at the fabric of space itself.

"... Hah. It's the dimensional gap fiasco all over again." Jasmine laughed in blatant disbelief at what she was witnessing and not at all bothering to hide the joy and relief at the horror she was witnessing.

"The dimensional what now?" Her attacker gave her a brief doubletake. "You mean to tell me that kid literally tore himself from that nightmare with his bare hands?"

"Hey. A friendly word of advice." A lighthearted but unusually calm voice mocked from the black hand.

The chasm in the air opened wide enough to give everyone a good look inside, and a pair of exceptionally pissed off glowing green eyes peered back through from the abyss.

And the beast that slept in the cave opened its fanged maw to BREATHE.

"Run."

"Carn! Shield!" Jasmine dove for Carnelian, who had enough experience and self control to reconjure two new masks, "Joy" and "Determination" to place a barrier between them and the Abbadon.

And not an instant too soon as a deafeningly loud, deep, rich, dark black and red fire spewed out of the hole of reality like a pillar of malice and vengeance at the one that had caused so much chaos for them, literally eating at anything and everything that had the misfortune to get in its path.

"How many times do I have to do this before they finally learn that firing shit at me doesn't work!"

Visibly annoyed and frustrated, yet another black hole appeared in front of the inferno's attack, bending space to suck in the attack and fueling the inferno with its paltry efforts.

It did not go as he had intended.

Instead of shrinking into the gap in time and space, the blaze grew, not disappearing into the void, but somehow growing larger, and even consuming the black hole as though it wasn't even there, much to onlookers and the victim's surprise, who barely had an opportunity to scream in alarm before he was consumed in the blaze.

Said blaze didn't stop though, as it tore down the street relentlessly, melting down the majority of the asphalt and foundation underneath between the bank and the intersection four blocks down before it finally started to die off.

Even to a complete novice, Issei's fire was on a completely different level of destruction than Riser's.

"I told him to run." The voice from the black arm half mocked as the crack in space widened enough for Issei's genuinely enraged and borderline rabid head to now be fully visible, though it wasn't enough to push himself all the way through just yet. "The kid's fire can't compare to mine, but being able to feed off local and near-local dimensional timespace is more than enough for a simple portal maker."

"Ghost you perverted cosmic fuck! You're actually enjoying this shitshow!" Jasmine shouted accusingly at the guilty party.

"... And?" Even a deaf man could hear the mocking smirk in the jerk's tone.

"Fuck!"

All eyes turned to the side to show that, despite all hopes, the culprit of the day's events was still alive as he fell out of a hole planted on the side of a building.

Not unharmed mind you. His right side was completely charred to the point his arm hung limp and disfigured, but alive, and glaring straight at Issei with an ugly snarl.

"Fucking giggling pompous ibne. I knew something was up with this job. Putting me in range of a monster like this in broad daylight." Hissing in pain, he barely managed to stand upright and reviewed his surroundings. The cops were reorganizing. He had blown through a good portion of his resources. He was injured to hell. The dragon kid was about to tear his way out from a literal dimension, and the bank-

"Miran! We got it!" A female voice shouted from the top floor of the wrecked bank, causing the identified man to let out a heavy sigh of relief. Judging from his expression, he probably thought whatever his partner was doing would take longer.

"Small miracles." He practically cried in relief before paling as the temperatures on the street skyrocketed again on the count of Issei once more. "Not falling for that again."

He vanished in a hole beneath his feet before everything went red and black.

The streets were ominously quiet save for the sound of Issei literally wrenching open time and space with his bare hands. It was clearly difficult for the boy judging from his strained expression, but he was making progress, having made enough room for his shoulders to pass through. It would only be another ten to fifteen seconds at most before he'd get out.

"Is… is he gone?" Carnelian asked hopefully, looking around and still holding her shield up. Even if her defenses were passable, most of her and Jasmine's sweat were still equal parts fear and from the heat of Issei's fire.

Jasmine got whiplash as she snapped to her friend's direction with a look of horror. "Did you seriously just-?!"

BOOOOOM!

A massive eruption, larger than anything that had gone off that day, literally shattered and blew apart the top three floors of the large bank.

More concerning was the fact that a good portion of those three floors were heading in their direction, which included the stuck Issei, the frozen Riser, and the paralyzed Kuroka.

"Fun time over! The kid can't hit that shit from this angle in time!" Ghost's voice shouted in significantly less levity, reminding everyone that the boy was facing nearly the opposite direction of the oncoming disaster.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The boy in question roared in even greater frustration to wrench and force himself out of his prison just even a second faster. His face was visibly turning beet red, his veins pulsing and his features turning more inhuman by the second.

Unfortunately it was blatantly clear to everyone that he wouldn't make it. Among the bulk of the benefits his Sacred Gear gave him, ironically, raw power was one thing that he didn't have in abundance.

The hundreds of tons of concrete seemed to fall down on them all in slow motion as shouts from all directions were only matched and eclipsed by the airborne avalanche coming down on them…

And then, at the last possible moment, the world turned red and white.

The building and concrete falling down didn't stop. It wasn't blasted away or torn apart.

It was completely obliterated in a ball of pure power.

For the briefest of moments, the world went mute.

"Wh-what was… was th-that the power of-?" The anchorwoman stammered in genuine awe and disbelief.

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck FUCK! Cut the feed! Cut it cut it cut it cut it RIGHT NOW!"

No more questions were asked, and no more fighting was shown.

Instead the only thing heard was an eleven year old boy swearing rampantly in a clear panic as he ran towards the camera screen, a clear shot of the Sekiryuutei now free from the other dimension showing genuine fear and concern holding up the screen. His face and hands were covered in blood as the recording went black.

But it had not been fast enough or in time to hide the albino in the background, the one that had just used the Power of Destruction of all things on screen and in public.

Nor did it do any good to mask the severe panic attack she was clearly starting to experience.

"... Carn?" The last thing that was seen or heard was Jasmine, almost as dumbstruck and shocked as the girl in question at what just happened.

o. o. o.

Back in the ORC living room, Kiba, Akeno, Gasper, and Koneko could only look at the computer monitor in genuine astonishment and confusion.

"... And, you said that this is spreading out everywhere?" Kiba asked Gasper slowly.

"Y-yeah." The vampire nodded. "And if the date is right, I think this was made before Carnelian was publicly revealed as a Bael in the first place. Like, by almost a year."

"She was hiding." Koneko swallowed heavily, recognising the look on Carnelian's face just before the video stopped. It was the same one she had whenever she accidentally forgot to hide her Nekoshou features and had a close call. "She didn't want people to know she was a Bael. This was probably how she was found in the first place. And the pervert knew."

"Well… this certainly will make things more interesting. And confusing." For once Akeno wasn't smiling as she stood up. "Shall we head to our dear leader and warn her of this new development?"

The Gremory Peerage all got up to follow her.

All of them were now lamenting their earlier complaints of having a slow night.

o. o. o.

Omake: This totally happened at one point

It was a nice and beautiful evening.

The day was coming to an end.

The summer air was cooling down.

And an innocent and full of joy ten year old Issei was in his room, holding a much long awaited limited edition porno that had just come in through the mail.

"Oh happy day! I finally got the director's cut edition of that one collaborative work made by the collaboration of the best Devil and Fallen directors in the past century! This is gonna be great!"

BOOM!

"GRAAAAAAAAH!"

And then the roof caved in due to Tiamat ramming her skull through the ceiling in a blind hunt for her intended, and bit down on the scruff of Issei's neck before thrashing him about.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

Issei, paralyzed by his terror of the dragon lady, did nothing but scream like a little bitch.

In hindsight, most flesh and blood beings would probably have been severely harmed, crippled, or even killed by the treatment, but because this was Issei, the scene closer resembled a cartoon character just getting thrown about recklessly and nothing else.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

Moments later, Tiamat had pulled her head from the roof, her traumatized prey still in her grasp, and flew away without any hesitation.

…

…

…

"Issei! I told you that if you're going to have a marathon with whatever ridiculous video you're watching with the sound maxed out to please put on your headphones so the rest of the neighborhood won't have to hear it too!" From downstairs, Issei's mom shouted in irritation.

…

…

A piece of the wooden support of the damaged roof fell to the floor.

…

…

"... Thank You!"

Issei managed to escape Tiamat the following morning and get back home with only a minor increase in his Tiamat based trauma.

Fortunately, the porn was safe.

o. o. o.

A/N: Thanks CrayZayJay for betaing. Hope things get better on your side of things.

Yeah. This chapter was intended to come out during xmas with the others, but I couldn't make it in time and RL hit my beta hard so, yeah, them's the brakes.

Although it should be noted that one of the things that held me up, other than the holidays, fixing my car, and work, was, and I kid you not, my showerhead broke off for no reason. Yeah.

The bank robbers are OCs, so don't worry about them that much. I don't intend to use them in the future. As for backstory:

Miran Abbadon's a half devil mercenary who was born and raised in Turkey in the 60's to 70's. Made a living first by smuggling, then by joining certain organizations in the area for minor combat and assassination jobs. Due to being an extreme prepper, he can easily fight people as strong or weaker than he is (around upper High class Devil level), but his threat level drops heavily against anyone stronger. A real "absurdly strong vs the weak but weak vs the absurdly strong" sort of guy. Despite how overpowering he appeared, he could only make a few portals at once, and he has a limited max size of how big he can make them, so yeah, he actually pales in comparison to someone like Bedeze Abbadon, who in Canon could make literally hundreds of the damn things effortlessly in a fight and almost killed Sairaorg later in the main story.

Overall he'd qualify as a "mid boss" in a video game near the third quarter of the main story. Someone meant to eventually be defeated, but if encountered too early would wipe the floor with the main cast.

Personality wise, he hates the upper class and those in authority in general, but has expensive tastes and enjoys the finer things when possible. Not exactly a social butterfly, but a guy that can get along with most people with little effort. Outwardly very casual and easygoing, a worldly man of experience, but sharp and hyper pragmatic above all else in order to ensure his survival, lifestyle, and operation efficiency. Isn't afraid to kill, but simultaneously avoids it under most circumstances if possible since it would only gain him more attention and make things harder for himself. The sort that would under normal circumstances gain an absurd bounty and attention to himself if he wasn't so adamant about laying low and taking jobs with minor risk or targeting moderate value level at highest whenever possible.

To put things in perspective, people like Riser Phenex are still in his target range, but just barely.

In short, if he knew who was nearby when he did his bank job, he would have dropped it on the spot, or at least rescheduled the job for another day. Unfortunately, that wasn't his decision to make.

But yeah, way too much effort for a one time use OC. That's on me.

Back to working on FFD with eyes glowing full of pure fury and rage and frustration. I feel like I'm back in highschool.

Real Life news… other than the showerhead.

FGO. The Spider is HERE. YESSSSSSS. NP3 Kuku in 7 10 rolls. YESSSS. Farming to get all her skills maxed out. NOOOOOOOOO.

Fuck you corn.

Also, just saying it here, FGO has the best fictional Dinos ever. Went from pacifists with THE ideal world peace mindset to editing and improving the Anarchist's cookbook Volume 3, complete with guns and rocket launchers, in literal seconds, and I could not stop laughing. I love mental whiplash like that.

Also thinking of getting a new car cause my current one is starting to fall apart… faster … not even a year after getting a new house. Because why not empty out the rest of my liquid cash? Totally an intelligent and responsible decision.

More importantly though, the next Monster Hunter game is around the corner. I skipped Rise so this will be a good way to get back into the thick of things…

And I say this knowing full well I am a Long Katanna main scrub. I know full well what I am. You don't have to point it out to me.

Last but not least, a shoutout to Masked Spider and the rest of the crew who I work with. We work on the fic: I'm Too Sober For This, which is essentially a crossover between GAIWP and ADLH that's… semi-canon due to reasons. Kinda like a One Piece Movie. It's a fun project that we've been on for the past few years and it's reaching its apex, so check it out if you have time.

Obligatory Pa-eon Plug here. Just search "Third Fang" for chapters and artwork early.

And that's about it for right now. Wish me luck getting FFD actually done on time this time.

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! TIAMAT WOULD BE IN DEEPER SHIT WITH ISSEI'S FAMILY IF THEIR HOME WASN'T INSURED BY SIRZECH'S FAMILY FOR THE REPAIRS! AND REVIEW AGAIN!