Beaver's Career Crisis
[Voice of Ward Cleaver]
"Childhood is a time of exploration. Your son wants to be an astronaut; a fireman; a jet pilot. Of course, we fathers hope our sons will follow in our footsteps—in my case, a data analyst. To a kid, that's pretty boring stuff. Other choices are fine, as long as they're traditional careers that offer security and advancement. Sometimes our sons take a little detour. And that's our story tonight, on Leave It To Beaver."
Beaver had enough on his mind, considering the assignment Miss Landers had just handed out: interview someone and learn about his profession to present it to the class. It could even be your parents or a neighbor, as long as everyone didn't do the same thing. The problem was, Beaver wasn't even sure what he wanted to do when he got out of school. Just graduating was the challenge right now.
The principal, Mrs Rayburn, came in with the school superintendent, Mr Baxter. She addressed the class. "Students, this is the school superintendent, Mr Baxter. He's going to sit in on one of Miss Landers' culture corners." This was a five minute lecture just before recess, in which Miss Landers presented material beyond their current grade level. There was no test or anything; it was designed to make them think, to give them a head start on the next school year.
Mrs Rayburn clasped hands and came in front of the desk. "Miss Landers' program is getting high marks from you students, and Mr Baxter wants to take notes. He's going to recommend it to other teachers throughout the system." She turned to Miss Landers, seated behind the desk. Next to her was the popular substitute Miss Cox, or as everyone knew by now, the hostess of the Arabella Horror Show. "I believe Miss Landers is going to present the Roman numeral system in only five minutes." A few groans greeted this, until Mrs Rayburn's eyes swept the room. "Mr Baxter and I will sit in back to observe. I expect you to pay attention." The two walked to the rear wall, where was hung student posters about the American Revolution.
Miss Landers went to the side blackboard and took up chalk. "Let's start with the century we're in. The first three letters you see on movie copyrights it MCM. M equals a thousand; C equals a hundred. Since C is on the left, it subtracts. So we have a thousand plus nine hundred. We don't need to bother with those anymore." She wrote L on the board. "L is for fifty. If we put X on the left, it subtracts ten, giving us forty. If X is to the right, it adds ten, so we have sixty. Since the year is 1960, we have MCMLX. Does everyone see that?" Nods all around. "That works all the way through the nineteen-eighties. When we reach 1990, does anyone want to take a stab at it?"
Leave it to that wiseguy Judy Hensler. She raised a hand. "We start with MCM. We need ninety more years, so we'd subtract ten from a hundred. MCMXC."
"Correct!" said a pleased Miss Landers. Miss Cox mimed applause.
Beaver bared teeth at Judy, knowing she wouldn't make as stink about it, not with the two big-shots at the back of the room. About this time, the recess bell rang, and Miss Landers dismissed the class. Only Beaver stayed behind, an idea having occurred to him about the assignment. Miss Landers joined the two superiors for a pleasant chat. Beaver waylaid Miss Cox near the desk.
"Miss Cox, I got an idea for my career assignment. Would it be okay if I came on your show? I don't mean on the stage, but just to see how things work."
"I think that's a good idea, Beaver. You'll get an inside view of how shows are put together. You'd have to ask your parents first." She tossed her long dark hair, which on the set was under a black wig to match the black horror hostess dress.
Beaver noticed her uneasy glance toward the principal and superintendent. "Is somethin' wrong?"
She made a glib smile. "It's nothing. The school board doesn't approve of me doing a horror show and planning to teach when I get my degree. They think I'm not a good influence on the kids."
That was crazy. "Heck, your culture corner is as good as Miss Landers'. They can't say you aren't a good teacher."
She considered that. "You'd better run along before you miss recess. Once your parents say it's okay, I'll tell you when to be at the studio."
Beaver's pals Whitey and Larry waited in the hall, anxious to know what he'd said to Miss Cox.
"Oh, nothin'. I'm just gonna be on her show, is all." The boys laughed that off, attracting Judy, who hovered nearby.
"You on TV?" Judy waved dismissively. "That's a hot one. By the way, I'm gonna tell Miss Landers you made a face at me."
"Like this?" Larry used fingers to pull his mouth apart, then stuck out his tongue.
Judy shook her head. "Boys." She pranced away in a huff.
Beaver clarified. "I won't be on TV or anything. Miss Cox said I could be behind the scenes to see how a show is done. That's gonna be my project for Miss Landers. I bet I get an A."
"Oh yeah?" Whitey challenged. "Bring back somethin' to prove you were there." The deal was made, and the boys went out to the playground.
Next morning at breakfast, thanks to Wally, the news was already out at the Cleaver household. Wally paused his bacon and eggs to offer comment. "Yeah, the Beav has even more of a crush on Arabella than he does on Miss Landers!" It drew a sour look from Beaver.
Ward buttered his toast. "That isn't helping, Wally. Personally, I think it will broaden his horizons. You boys watch a lot of TV. Now you'll have an idea of what goes on behind the scenes."
Not as reassured, June stirred her coffee. "But a horror show? Why can't it be something like a western?"
"Heck, Mom!" Wally set down his milk. "The Arabella show is the biggest thing goin' right now! We've even got her posters in high school!"
Beaver figured it was time to jump in. "Yeah, and I'm sure to get a good grade on the paper I'm gonna write. I'll take plenty of notes while they set up the show."
"Fine," Ward said, sipping coffee. "I hope this doesn't go to your head, though. The actor's life is a hard one. It isn't all glamour."
"I guess so," Beaver agreed. "It'll be neat to watch the show this Saturday with the guys, knowin' I was backstage. I'll even have somethin' from the set to prove I was there."
"I dunno." Wally grimaced. "It sorta takes the fun out of it, seein' how it's all make believe."
Ward dabbed at his mouth with his napkin. "Well, fellas, let's all get out there and do the Cleaver name proud today." He came around to kiss June, while the boys got ready for school.
"Ward." June held him back. "I know Beaver is a little star-struck right now, but I worry about the lives those actors lead. It could be a bad influence."
"We'll see, dear. If Arabella is really an enchantress, he'll show the signs."