[Entry #005: Anything For The Birthday Girl]
Friday, March 14th
11:39 P.M.
Hey there, glad to see you made it back after catching up with all that's been happening. I wish I could tell you that it has gotten better, but I'm not that great of a liar. So far, it's been roughly a week since the kiss and André has kept his promise. I couldn't even blame him for being so disappointed. If I hadn't pushed him so far… I would still have my best friend to talk with.
*Sighs*
Even in our classes, André made it a point to sit far away from me. Lunchtime was no different. He started spending most of his time with Beck and Jade, even sitting with them at a separate table.
He didn't answer my calls, texts, or emails. I even went to his house once but it ended with his grandma throwing tangerines at me. Her aim was spot on because she easily bruised my nose. But anyway, it wasn't until today during lunch that André finally spoke to me. I was waiting in line and he had to walk past me to get some napkins. All he said was "Excuse me." Nothing more, nothing less.
He honestly wanted nothing to do with me.
But strangely enough, there was something that's been nagging me since we last talked. Why was André continuously avoiding eye contact with me? I didn't think much of it at first, but it got me thinking: Was he hiding something? Something he wanted to tell, but couldn't?
Ugh!
Why are boys so complicated? Why is it so hard for them to admit how they feel?!
*Chuckles*
Look at me… getting worked up over a guy. But that was the problem. André wasn't just some guy. He was the guy I overlooked.
11:55 P.M.
I lay motionless in bed, staring out my bedroom window at the moonlit sky.
Another sleepless night was underway.
Full of deep thought and painfully replaying memories of that horrible day.
Glancing over at Lucky sleeping soundly in his rabbit house, I grew envious of him. Not a care in the world except wondering when he'll get another slice of banana. No bunny ever had to worry about messing up a great friendship.
"Must be nice." I sighed, sitting up.
In times like these, I would always have André to call on.
But now... I didn't.
I hated this feeling. I hated it so much.
"This is torture." I thought aloud.
Getting up from my bed, I grabbed my phone and walked out of my room. Trying not to wake anyone, I crept downstairs and then out to the patio. As I stood there, a gentle breeze blew through. I can't tell you how much this cool spring air was helping me. It was as if my problems were temporarily wiped from my life. But gradually, I remembered those nights when André and I would spend time out here. We would do nothing but look up at the night sky for hours, and talk about our hopes, dreams, desires, and fan-
{An alarm rings on my phone}
It was a reminder alert. It had just turned midnight, meaning it was now my special day.
"Happy birthday, Tori." I sighed, placing my phone in my sweatshirt pocket and walking over to the other side of the yard.
What was there to celebrate? Sure, I was 17, but I failed my driver's test... yet again. So aside from dashing my hopes of my parents buying me a car for my birthday, there was nothing else to celebrate. I couldn't even joke about this with André because... well, you know...
Arriving at the pool, I dipped my feet in the warm water and sat along the shallow end. Usually, I found the soft blue glow that illuminated the pool calming, but try as I might, it did nothing to help me with my problem.
*Sniffles*
It was over. My friendship ended and I need to accept this. André showed no signs that anything we had was fixable, so what was even the point-
{A musical chime plays on my phone.}
It was André!
For the first time in over a week, he was calling me. I quickly snapped out of it and answered the call.
"H-hello?"
{Hey...}
"Hi..."
{Um... h-how are you?}
"I'm okay."
{Good. So... what are you up to?}
"Sitting by the pool."
{Oh.}
I wasn't sure what André was playing at, so I decided to get to the point.
"You know, I'm shocked you even called. You've been doing your best to avoid me all week."
{I know, I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to do that.}
"Then why did you?"
For a moment, he was quiet.
{I don't know. I-I don't- It's frustrating.}
"What can be so frustrating that we can't talk it out?"
{Tori, it's not that easy.}
"Well, I can see that," I sighed, standing up and pacing along the poolside, "I'm sorry I pushed you so hard. I didn't mean to insult you; I just wanted answers."
{I know and I'm sorry for lashing out at you. It's just that...}
"What?" I asked, anxious to hear where André was going with this.
{Nothing... it's nothing.}
"André, aren't we best friends?" I said choked up, "So please, j-just trust me."
{Click!}
He hung up on me.
What in the hell is wrong with him?! That was the most childish, impolite-
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Someone was knocking on the vinyl gate at the front of the yard. Cautiously, I walked towards it, but not before grabbing one of the loose bricks that lined the flower bed.
"Who's there?"
"It's me, André."
"André?" I asked, dropping the brick and opening the gate, "What are you doing here?"
I looked around as he anxiously walked in to see if anyone else was with him. Closing the gate, I questioned him, "You drove all the way here?"
"Yeah, c-couldn't sleep. So I decided to go for a drive."
"And let me guess, you happen to be in the neighborhood and decided to pay me a visit?" I asked, arms crossed.
André sighed and kept looking away from me.
"What is this all about? I tried apologizing to you for days and-"
"Okay, I know. It was rude and... I'm just trying to make things right."
As he paced the walkway, I noticed that André wouldn't stop fidgeting with his hands. I've seen him nervous plenty of times, but this was something else. Grabbing his hands, I said, "Hey, look at me. In through the nose, out through the mouth."
Picking up on what I asked of him, André replied, "Y-yeah, sure."
"In... out. In... out." I recited, as we both breathed deeply.
With each breath I took, I began thinking about how ironic this was.
This was the same breathing technique he taught me at the Big Showcase years ago, so it's only fitting of me to return the favor now.
"Feeling better?"
"Much better." he sighed, finally returning my gaze.
"Now calmly tell me what's on your mind," I said, still holding his hands.
Taking a deep breath, André swallowed hard and began explaining, "When you kissed me... it scared the hell out of me."
I knew I was a bit assertive with that kiss, but jeez...
"It's not what you think." André quickly added, "It scared me because I wasn't alone in having these feelings."
"Okay, so why would that scare you? We could have talked it out or something."
"Because as much as I love our friendship, I wanted more." André replied, sounding calmer than before, "At the same time, I worried that if we started something serious and things didn't work out-"
"It could ruin our friendship."
"Yet I almost let that happen anyway."
"André, I'm just as terrified as you are. But I can't help how I feel about you. So I don't know about you, but I would rather not look back years from now and regret not giving this a chance."
André took a moment to think before he responded, "You know how it's easy for me to get caught up in my music? Well, there are moments when we're singing together and I swear the music sounds so much better with you. To the point where I almost crave your presence whenever I come up with a new song."
Hearing André confess this was rather touching. It felt even better knowing that I was right all along.
"At first, I wrote it off as me simply wanting you as a muse, but then I started having the same fuzzy feeling whenever we weren't singing together." André continued, "Even when I was dating other girls, I wondered why I could never feel the same as I do with you."
"Trust me, I know exactly what you mean," I replied, thinking back to my exes.
"I think what I'm trying to say is... I'm ready to take that leap, that is if I haven't screwed things up with us."
"You haven't. So about that leap?"
"Together?" he smiled.
"Together."
As we inched closer, our lips gently touched as we plunged into this uncharted territory. Letting go of my hands, he carefully held my face and pulled me closer to his. With each kiss, I could feel his eagerness spilling over. Gradually, a delightful swirl of cool air danced around us as we continued to share this passionate moment. The intense heat between us and the calming breeze surrounding us made for such a breathtaking experience.
As we slowly stopped kissing and the winds died, André smiled, "How's that for a birthday present?"
Practically grinning, I replied, "My new favorite, but only if it doesn't end so soon."
"Anything for the birthday girl."
As we went back to kissing under the ethereal night sky, I thought about how this was the start of something new. Something beautiful. Something meaningful.
My name is Tori Vega and this is how I got my best friend back… and gained a boyfriend as well.