Chapter summary: Witches are back! Well not all of them just yet. The Sage is working on it.
"Is that the third Gluttony, in fact?"
"Used to be. She's haaarmless now tho. Will be a part of the crew."
"Uau!"
Louis jumped up in excitement and vigorously nodded at his words. It would've looked adorable if the blond girl in question wasn't the Sin Archbishop.
"Mmm, yep, Master does have full Gluttony on him. Ankle-biter number four is perfectly harmless."
"Em, Shaula-sama?"
"Master's sent is very noticeable. Heavier than Tella-san too."
"Yes, Subaru-kun is so pungent it makes my legs shaky."
"You sure it's not da whiskey fumes again, maid? I only got one flask of sobriety remedy left."
"No, Rem is fine. Do not worry, Anastasia-sama."
"Urgh, Betty's Subaru does indeed smell rather heavily of miasma, I suppose. How is this one is able to distinguish between the smell of Sins does puzzle Betty, however."
"Oh, I was kinda designed with that feature in mind. I'm way superior to both blue maid and ankle-biter number one."
Both addressed people stared indignantly at the Sage's apprentice.
"Em, what exactly did you do back then, Subaru? That was reeealy weird."
"Yeah, what's with da weird hold, 'ey, Flugel?"
"That was ooobviously the Wuxi Finger. Seeeriously, no one knows that one?.. C'mon, that's like the cooolest move ever!"
"I do, love."
Satella did found it rather humorous. She was certain that Gluttony did not require for him to do that, but the move certainly fit her lover's cool over-the-top style.
"Well, for you, Tella-tan, it does make sense. But not even Shaaaula, really? I thought you knew mooost of the references."
"Nope."
"Huh, past me was so laaame. How the hell could I forget to tell you the plot of the cooolest movie of the XXI century? Do you know how to Jojo-pose, at least?"
Shaula immediately struck a pose.
"Oh, that's the one Jotaro made against Diiio! Phew, at least you got sooome of the references."
"Do not fret, dear friend. The mind of this one is too short to remember everything thou disclosed to her."
"Hey, that's mean, you Cynic! Especially from the one who sleeps through all the cool stuff Master gets into!"
"Eh, well… whateeever… what I actually did, by the way, is that I swapped the sooouls of those too. Louis here was trapped in Limbo just a few minutes prior."
The little girl nodded in conformation.
"What? How is something like that possible, in fact? Soul transfer is feasible with magic, I suppose, but it can't be done flawlessly unless the souls are perfectly aligned."
Beatrice, being the daughter of the one who failed to replicate what Sage just did and a friend with someone who did not fail, struggled to understand.
"C'mon, Beako, is that really that surprisin'? Authorities can do whatever the fuck you want. I mean just compaaare this soul manipulation-jutsu to like invincibiiility, endless shape-shiftin' or mind-control that ooothers got. Still kinda cool. Do feel rather huuungry now tho. Side effect? Anyway, I did stumble into her by readin' your book, Reid."
"Aye, makes sense. You barged into Hall of Memories. Figured you'll find your way there eventually. Ya really liked to fuck around with da natural order or whatever da fuck you used to call Od Lagna back then."
"Haaall of Memories. Is that what's that Limbo is called? Cool name. So, yeah, I just took her Gluttony usin' my awesome Sage voodoo. Oh, and saaame with Capella."
"So, what are we going to do with the Sin Archbishop? I guess, this one needs to be confined just like Wrath…"
"Heeey, lay off, Julius! I promised her she goes into loli creeew, I'm not backin' down!"
"Wait, Subaru, do you reeealy want to adopt Louis!? That's insane, you nincompoop!"
"First of all, Emilia-tan, no one says that anymooore. And the second, you are sayin' that after I got Satella in the party? So, "big, scaaary, naaasty Witch" is fine, but neutered Archbishop isn't?"
"I mean dat's a fair point, Flugel. Petty sure Tella goin' out of control would be a lot more catastrophic than this little one. I'd say we have dat covered."
"Ugh, Subaru's eccentricities know no bounds, I suppose."
"Ya don't say, Great Spirit. I mean did you expected ya contractor pullin' a pet Archbishop outta his a- back pocket?"
"After Satella, Reid and Volcanica? Not really, I suppose. Still, Betty will not be replaced by this…" "...hussy" "…cultist, in fact!"
Beatrice was pouting. Aggressively. First, it was the lousy half-elves stealing her rightfully deserved head-pats, then the lesser healing spirit flirting with her contractor, then her Subaru brought another little girl into the fold? Outrageous! Simply, outrageous!
Without any warning Sage pulled his favorite spirit closer, lifted her up and hugged her tightly.
"Ah! Stop it, stop it! You'll suffocate Betty!"
"Haha! Nope, not lettin' you go, Beeeako. Not until you'll toss away this stupid thought out of your cuuute head. Replace my Beeeako?! How cooould I?! I mean I would literally die if I try, first from Beatromin shortage and then from mana poisonin'."
"Do ya intend to die twice?"
He chuckled.
"Already went over fifteen."
"Mind, and theeen body, Anastasia."
"Aaah. I see."
Eventually the librarian was put back down. Betty's Subaru was lifting her up quite often today. Not that Great Spirit minded that, really. She decided to stay close to him, holding his hand. Just in case her contractor had any ideas.
"So, yeah. I also pranked the Eeelder Council. Bunch of pompous braaats."
"You what?!"
Emilia, Rem, Anastasia and Julius looked at him in bewilderment.
"Ah, friend Flugel asked me to include a humorous jab in a Dragon Tablet."
"So, what did Subaru write?"
"Dear companion of mine announced great change approaching in Lugunica, denounced the ones that were vile and corrupt, and disclosed his legacy upon the unenlightened ones."
"Legacy?"
"He means the Sage tittle."
Satella clarified the worlds of the Divine Dragon.
"I hope he did not mention you, Satella-sama. I doubt the general public would take your partnership favorably."
"He didn't."
"Well, in any case, that means we can't just sweep this whole incident in Priestella under da rug now. Not without explainin' somethin' to da Council. Fuck, Natsuki-kun. What's next, are ya gonna cause a diplomatic incident in yo next adventure?"
"Oh, that reminds me. That Ceci guy. I'm gonna have to meet that one. Hmmm, might as well go to Vollaaachia after we're done here."
"Ah, I shoulda not told that. Now we gonna have to deal with an international crisis."
Julius facepalmed. He really thought it would now be over, but no, Sage's drunken shenanigans were only just beginning.
Others around the Sage sighed as well. Anastasia's prediction was likely correct.
"I mean, Subaru-kun did say that he wanted to introduce his reforms outside of Lugunica."
"I don't think Anastasia thought he would be there in person, Rem. Still, Subaru, do you reeealy want to go in there? Vollachia is very dangerous."
"Nah, Emilia-tan, I'll be fiiine, I'm stacked. I got Authorities, Swooords, and all of you people. Besides, I'm pr'tty sure princes in there have like the law exemption or somethin'."
"Oh, yeah, ya being heir to the Vollachian Empire… Kinda forgot about that with all this wild shit ya were getting us into lately."
"Eh, Flugel. I can't go."
"Why? Don't you wanna bang some chicks in there? Like the laaast time?"
"Mana body. Or have ya forgot?"
"Oh, right… right... Wait, I can fix that. Oi, Volc, can you grab me one of the biiig witchbeasts? Alive one."
"With ease, dear friend. Thy will be done."
In about five minutes the Dragon brought a half-beaten to death Centaur (or "Hungry Horse King" if you go by words of certain witchbeast tamer).
"Yep, this one will do. Looks heeella ugly. Just like Reid."
"Oi!"
The Sage grabbed Reid's hand and:
"Aaanyway, Reid Astrea. Star Eating, phase one. Skadooosh."
"You disgusting meatbag, how dare you came back!"
"Oh, heeey, Capella. Nice to meet you too."
"Ew, that's that hag? Just looking at her makes my innards spin…"
"Karmic punishment I'd say. She wanted people to ooogle her non-stop, and now just lookin' at her makes you cringe."
"So, ya just left her there?"
"Yep. You know, back in my hooome that is a form of torture. Sitin' like that without any stimuli arooound you can drive anyone insane. Star Eating, phase two."
"So that's it? I'm mortal again?"
"Well, let's check."
"Ah! Fuck, Flugel! Warn me next time!"
"Yep, that's nooormal human blood. You're good to go."
"Welcome to the witchbeast club, Stick Swinger! So far it's only you and me in here though. The others don't talk sadly."
"Ha, you did leave this nasty scar… Is this used to be da nasty mug of that thin'?"
"Eh, I guess. Side effect of usin' those Ceeentaurs, perhaps?"
"Do I get da cool transformation too, 'ey?"
"You don't want to transform, trust me… I'm glad, that Master disabled the alarm at the top before that jello cultist got in…"
"So, Subaru, your Authority of Gluttony can bring back the dead? Fascinating…."
Julius would be lying if he said that he wasn't interested in the idea of bringing back the dead. His birth parents came to mind. He knew Felix could do it, via using the Sacrament of the Immortal King. But the talent and effort it required to successfully pull it off was immense and results were mixed. Compared to that what Subaru just did looked… simple.
He wasn't the only one.
Rem, Beatrice and Emilia looked at him with the mix of bewilderment and expectation. Each had people that they wanted to bring back.
"I meeean, I do need actual souls to still exist, but… yeeeah, I can. Reid was kinda the exception tho, since he was still capable to walk among the livin' befooore. And I need to be able to reach the soooul... Unleeess, if I do own the medium, like… Hmmm… Wait, that gives me an ideeea… Let's get back to the Taygeta, I have somethin' I wanna check."
"And back to the Windows background land I go. I mean, I gueeess it makes sense you six won't be with Capella. Well, books dooo work, got it. Hi, Witches."
Just a few seconds prior he activated his Authority whilst touching the Typhon's Book of the Dead.
"Baaaru! You came back!"
"Emmm… how did you… I m-mean Echidna did… ammm..."
"Subarun, it's niiice to feel your delicious smeeell again."
"What are you doing here, baka! Dona will be really mad with you for breaching the Castle of Dreams so suddenly!"
"Oh, where iiis she by the waaay?"
"Wait, are you drunk, you baka!?"
"Yep, lots of wild stuff haaappened last six hours. All started with me bein' haaammered."
"Echidna is outside, haaa… She's resting from the long journey, haaa… I can relate..."
"Sechmet, you moron! That was a secret!"
"Oh, she's alive. Wonder hooow… Well, that makes things easier, or maybe knowin' her it's the ooother way around... Aaanyway, where is she?"
"In Gusteeeko. But this is not the same place you reeeached during trials, Subarun. It's a piece of it locked inside Dna Dna's peeendant."
"Cool, so liiiterally a pocket dimension? Nice. I'll guess I'll just grab her when I'll get to Gusteeeko. Tell her to meet me there... somewhere. Or, you know, just tell her I saaaid hi."
"So, what do you inteeend to do, Subarun?"
"I'm just figurin' out my new trick. Gonna revive aaall of you. Being ghosts is probably borin', riiight? Without Authorities, of course, but it's better than bein' dead. Staaartin' with Typhon, since I had her Book of the Dead at hand."
"Echidna wo-won't like this…"
"Pfff, as if I caaare. Besides, I'm sure you want to walk among the livin', riiight? Well, maybe not you, Sechmet, I'm sure you hate walkin', but like I can make you a mobility scooter metia or somethin'…"
"Oh, so you have Gluttony, haaa… I see. The things are progressing, haaa…"
"Yes, Subarun smells veeery hungry. Relatable."
"Yeah, I would like a bottle of maaayo or two right now. Can't believe I agree with you of all people, Daaaphne. Oh, by the way, do you still remember that old mayo recipe? Turns out it got lost back there in the land of the livin'. Hopefully, it was as good as the stooore-bought."
"Mhm, I dooo, Subarun. I will share it once you get me out."
"Ok, cool, we got a deal. Weeell, time to go. Typhon?"
The little Witch nodded while taking the hand of black-eyed knight.
"You're a good person, Baru. I'll go with you."
"'lright then, see you soon, ladies. Star Eating, phase two."
"Another one? Natsuki-kun, ya breachin' your children acquisition quota."
"Precisely said, Anastasia-sama. Truly the Lolimancer's desire for little girls has no bounds."
"Hey, assholes! You two make me seem like a lolicon! I don't do kids!"
"Hmmm, she looks reeealy flowery."
Emilia meant that literally. Bunch of flowers were growing straight from her hair.
"So, it's like me then. She got some traits of that bear we caught."
"Looks quite pretty. Let's stick to flower bears for now."
"Typhon!"
"Tella! Ula! Volcy! Reid! Baru, you did not tell me our friends are back here too."
"Oh, yeah riiight. Long story. In short, I got drunk, got a bunch of swords, caaalled Tella. Then these three arrived, and then we got back to our old home aaafterwards."
"Looks different from what I remember."
"I mean yeah, Tella-tan kinda did some landscapin' sometime ago."
"No, I mean, it used to be me more lovely in here, Baru. It's just so empty…"
"Agreed, little one. Everythin' went to shit after Flugel was gone."
"Yeah, it was lonely without Master."
"It was…" "I missed him so much..."
"Aye, 'tis true. Our friend's absence greatly affected us all."
"'lright, enough with depressin' shit, you guys. I'm back and now with even mooore friends. And probably even more overpowered, come to think of it… Regardless, since we aaare here, who's down to help me with some books? Need to get back to readin', to get the other ones. Oh, and do we have any foood left? I'm starvin'."
Half an hour later.
"Oh, hey, 'chidna. I'm here to grab Daaaphne."
"How? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, after witnessin' Beako's life story the court ruled in myyy favor. I'm taking custody over the kiiids."
"Kids?"
"Hehe, but seriously tho, the only ones sooomewhat mature are Tella and you, Dona. I mean, just loook at them. Typhon and Daphne are actual children. Sechmet is one of these lazy teenagers that you always need to drag to school in the mornin'. Carmilla is a high-school otome game protagonist. Finally, there's Minerva. Do I even need to explain thaaat one?"
"No."
"Nooope."
"No, haaa…"
"N-no…"
"Hey! I'm not childish! Baka!"
Unfortunately, her current pouting expression did not prove Minerva's case.
"S-Subaru found a way to bring us back to life. S-so we are coming with him."
"He drank way too much wine."
"Yes, I can see that, Minerva. What exactly do you need them for?"
To say that Echidna was irritated would be an understatement. She was recovering from the long trip that involved nearly falling into the frozen river (again), so she wasn't in her best mood right now.
"First of all, whiskey. Second, I dunno, cooompany, I guess. My new Authority is basically soul manipulation. I've been rebuildin' the old crew with a bunch of new members added on top. We've got Vooolc, Reeeid, Shaaaula and Teeella already. I'm still lookin' for Alec's and Farsale's books, but we'll get there. Oh, there's also Geuse, might wanna brin' thaaat one back, if he's not still insane. Wanna join too?"
"Sigh, it's her doing, isn't it? That obnoxious half-elf skank. Every plan and every contingency just went to ruin! Argh!"
"Hey, we do not insult Tella in this hooousehold. Besides, I'm pretty sure it was mostly my doin'. I kinda derailed whatever plan the paaast me had. I'm just thaaat kind of RPG player, always goin' against the main plot."
"Sigh, alright. Can you ask her to bring me to your group?"
Just asking that was humiliating to the Witch of Greed, but she swallowed her pride.
"Mhm, I'm probably gonna need your location tho."
Map appeared from the thin air. Echidna pointed at a specific spot on it.
"It's here."
"Ok, gooot it. Oh, by the way, Daphne, I'm not sure if I can brin' the Coffin thin' with you."
"Hmmm, that's fine Subarun. I'll miss that one, but you do have Scooorpi with you, do you not?"
"Yep, as I said, Shaula is with the creeew. You'll have some time to chat with your daughter. Star Eating, phase two."
The two disappeared in a flash of light.