Hello, it is Wednesday this time, and I am back with a new chapter - the first of the Christmassy uploads! I was unusually prepared with this one. I actually wrote it a couple of days into 2024 and I was so excited to get it written that I did just that and had it in storage until now! I do enjoy writing split chapters where the first and second half link together. For this one, I was in the middle of really enjoying writing about James and Jorginho (my ex-Team Rocket member OC and fling of James). But having read it nearly a year later, I really love the second half between Justin (Jessie and James' son) and Sammy (Justin's partner of nine years and also Jorginho's younger brother). Funnily enough, like them, I enjoy their relationship so much more once they are no longer together! I hope you enjoy :P
Ages:
Justin: 27 then 28
Jorginho: 48
James: 48 then 49
Sammy: 35
It was Christmas Eve and Justin knew that he should have silenced his stomach, pulling his pillow further over his head. He should have gone back to sleep. But his empty stomach was nagging at him and dammit, this cry for attention could not be stifled! Sleepily, he lifted the pillow of his childhood bed away from his head and as quietly as he could, he rolled himself away from his mattress to pad across the carpet.
Sammy was sound asleep and Layla in her travel cot against the wall closest to the window was dreaming too. Possessing a soft smile to himself in the dark of night, for a rare occasion Justin did not allow himself to bask in the glory of finally having a proper family. The idea of food was still taunting him. And he could not wait to get his hands on what he wanted.
He disliked this trait within himself sometimes. No, not that he was greedy. And even if the desire to be gluttonous fell upon him, his spindly figure never gave away that he had been eating a little more than usual.
It was something, you see, that he had tried to dampen many a time in his young life: when Justin wanted to do something, Justin went after it.
This trait of his had been brilliant in cultivating the success that he found in his career as a musician. But as the clock ticked further and further away from eleven on that Christmas Eve and would soon be Christmas Day, his restless mind was not helping him advance his career.
His restless stomach was hankering for a bowl of cereal. And not just any bowl of cereal. Justin was hungry for the kind that was in his parent's breakfast bar room rather than the main kitchen.
While his head had been lingering underneath his pillow and Sammy had been dreaming peacefully next to him, he had tried to encourage himself to just go back to sleep. And when that did not work, he tried to reason with his mind and stomach that he should lead himself to the kitchen instead.
There would be delicious cereals for him to eat there too. The sugary kind that sent his little siblings into a frenzy if they got their hands on them! Various kinds of hoops and shapes and even miniature cookie ones.
But no. Justin wanted what he knew was in the breakfast bar room. He wanted his trusty wheat breakfast food and the kind that filled Katie with awe at how his spindly frame was able to pack away eight of those wheat biscuits in one sitting. Justin remembered too that once the texture of them had made Eli's stomach lurch.
They were, however, Justin's favorite. And because he loved them so much, he found himself padding away from his childhood bedroom in his parents' house and with a grimace wiping over his face as he prayed that he would not disturb who else was in the room, he pushed the door open as gently as he could.
Justin stepped inside.
You would think that it was unlikely that Justin would come face to face with anyone in that room of Jessie and James' house on Christmas Eve. It was hardly Christmas morning, where the room was sure to come alive with children sneaking off from eating in the kitchen with everybody else to be able to fit more people around the bar table!
But, you see, the breakfast room had been utilized to host guests over the years and had a living area attached to it, complete with quite a large sofa that could comfortably be used as a bed when the rest of the spare rooms were occupied.
Drawing his bottom lip into the rest of his mouth with his teeth, Justin tiptoed across the room with bated breath and because the curtains had been left wide open, the half-moon illuminating the sky shone into the room. He was able to spy Jorginho sleeping there, flat out on his back, one hand resting over his chest and the other pointing down towards the carpet.
He is going to wake up with pins and needles in his digits in the morning, Justin thought to himself! But he did not risk waking the older male up by kindly settling that hand onto his chest too. Justin was on a mission.
He tiptoed with the precision of a slender, wild feline towards the breakfast bar area itself and with a promptness reminding him to get his trip over and done with as soon as possible, he opened the door of the pantry cupboard first.
Justin kid himself that the moon winking over the entirety of the room was a light gleaming from the cupboard. He could not help but smirk to himself as he imagined the sound of a choir as he saw what had been on his mind as Christmas Day was just around the corner.
There it was. There it was in all its glory.
Justin reached his hand out for the rectangle box that had not yet been opened and so was brimming with his favorite wheat treats. One of his parents must have added it to the grocery list when he had accepted the invite to theirs for Christmas. Probably his dad. He had once reassured him that he could eat his usual breakfast while everyone else was offered croissants or pancakes or even chocolate for the occasion!
Though he was now unable to stop himself from smiling more softly that his dad still had him in his thoughts just as much as when they had been living together, Justin was sure that he was being quiet. Not quiet enough, he would go on learn.
As he drew the box out of the pantry, Jorginho on the sofa suddenly sat up and began rubbing his eyes confusedly. Justin knew that he was no longer being careful when he let out an audible gasp and shut the pantry door hastily as if the light that he had imagined pouring out of there had disturbed Jorginho.
"I'm so sorry to wake you." Justin began, stepping away from the offending pantry door with invisible light, moving around from being behind the breakfast bar too so Jorginho could get a look at his sorry face with his sleepy eyes. "I was hungry." Dammit. He sounded like a right little kid. "I was just getting myself some cereal."
Before the words I'll be going now could tumble out of his lips and Justin could make an abrupt exit, heading to the kitchen for the milk to pour onto his nearing midnight snack, Jorginho was swinging his legs over the sofa. He began to pad across the carpet like the younger male had done.
While Justin was pointing his single ring clad finger towards the box of cereal as if this explained things even further, it dawned on him that Jorginho was shirtless. He did not know how he did that in winter! Let alone on the very chilly night that they were experiencing being made chillier by the fact that Jorginho had purposely left the window open.
"Cereal?" Was the only word that Jorginho responded to Justin with but the way that he had said it told him everything that he needed to know.
Justin discovered his head to be twitching to the one side curiously in response. Any anxiety or discomfort that he could have believed would make itself known did not present itself at all. Instead, they were merely two people talking. The moment was not tainted by anything feeling out of place.
A new smile swiping across Justin's features, he pointed to the rectangular cereal box for a different reason.
"Would you like some?" he asked, already figuring out Jorginho's answer from the way that he had previously repeated the word cereal.
Jorginho's left hand that was indeed feeling fuzzy as Justin had predicted, flapped a couple of times to get the feeling back to it before tracing along his own smooth chest. He too realized that he was shirtless but did nothing to rectify it.
His smile often lit up any room and the moonlit room seemed extra warm once his mouth stretched wide. He bobbed his head just the once.
"I wouldn't say no." Jorginho began, and Justin was already mirroring the bobbing motion of his head, placing the cereal box down on the breakfast bar countertop. He craned towards the drawers just below to fetch two bowls for them both. "Thank you, Justin."
Jorginho's hand moved from his own chest and ran in a long path from the tip of his sturdy nose and smoothed down his locks. They had not yet gotten used to being cropped a bit shorter in recent days and he would often wake up with them sticking in all kinds of directions.
A smile still swiping over his own lips, Justin met Jorginho's gaze with a second nod and once the white porcelain bowls had clunked against the marble of the countertop (he did not need to be so quiet now) he did not stop himself from offering Jorginho something else.
It was his parents' house. But he continually felt at home there enough to act as a considerate host.
"Would you like a cup of tea with your cereal, Jorginho?" Justin offered. The way in which he turned away from the other man as soon as he had asked this question and moved to the sink to fill the kettle up told Jorginho that he was planning to have one himself anyway.
It was no bother to make a second mug.
But Jorginho shook his head, giving up on taming his new, shorter locks and preparing to occupy himself with something else. But he still gave Justin a verbal response as well as his gesture.
"No. No, thank you. Just the cereal will be fine." Another flash of his smile that turned many hearts to goo. And then Jorginho realized that he had forgotten to shut the window before bedding down for the night.
Justin watched, his finger flicking the kettle on as Jorginho moved to close the window but did not close the curtains even though the room had since been adequately lit by the eldest Morgan son flicking on the lights underneath the cabinets after he had poured water in the kettle.
Perhaps Jorginho was not as accustomed to the chilly air of a Kanto winter as he liked to think. Or he was just being polite.
While the kettle was slowly coming to a boil and Justin pushed the two cereal bowls apart, setting them at two opposite ends of the breakfast bar table, Jorginho momentarily headed closer to the sofa to pick up the t-shirt that he had accidentally fallen asleep on top of.
Feeling his cheeks simmering to a similar degree to what the water was doing inside of the kettle, Justin suddenly remembered the odd tension that could sometimes ensue between the two of them as Jorginho tugged the shirt over his broad chest and he knew that he had seen somebody else wearing that purple sports team shirt as well.
Justin, fortunately, had reason to look away after he gestured for Jorginho to help himself to the unopened box of cereal and he acted as if he needed to double check that that kettle was on, even though the noises that it was making were unmistakable.
Jorginho was none the wiser. Or if he realized that the t-shirt that he was known for sharing was deemed inappropriate in the eyes of some people then he did not show it. His trimmed beard on his face moved as his mouth pressed together in a silent, amiable look of gratitude as he sat down on the bar stool facing away from the door and he indeed prepared to help himself.
While Justin could steady his thoughts by focusing on getting a mug out of the cupboard and popping a decaffeinated tea bag into it before soaking it with water, Jorginho's hands got to work and he pulled apart the glued flap of the box and then tore into the white plastic containing all of the wheat biscuits.
He made quite the mess! But luckily all the crumbs went into the now opened box rather than onto the countertop. If they had done, however, he would have swept them up using a dustpan and brush.
It seemed as if he could be occupying himself when, while Justin was bobbing the teabag in his mug up and down with his spoon, stewing his tea, Jorginho rotated the box on the marble countertop, and he read some of the numbers on the back.
After a silent grunt which I speculate far into the future to be merely acknowledgment, the older of the two men reached into the packet and placed two biscuits into a bowl. But he did not place them into his own bowl.
Bringing his tea closer to the other man now that he had rid it off the squeezed bag and added just a splash of milk, Justin realized that Jorginho was checking how much was the usual portion before plopping them into his own bowl, letting him eat first.
In a different manner to the one that had kept him awake and hungry, Justin found it easy to resist the urge of telling Jorginho that he could eat a lot more than that! The grateful smile that washed over his features like moonlight winking down on the ocean below had to be concocted a little bit. But it was still genuine.
Justin nodded his head at the other man, accepting his gesture by sitting down at the bar stool that was facing the doorway and Jorginho too, drawing his cereal bowl closer to him. After doing so, he pushed the carton of milk closer to the other male.
He really did insist that he should be able to tuck in first. After all, neither of them may no longer live there but Justin had lived there the longest. Jorginho was more of a guest.
Jorginho's bar chair squeaked before his words could formulate – or he could crinkle the crow's feet around his eyes in gratitude.
"Thank you." he said towards Justin's offering. But the younger male was left with a second, curious incline of the neck when Jorginho removed himself from the bar stool and made his way over to the fridge.
Justin did not hold back from obviously turning over his slim shoulder behind him to spy what exactly Jorginho was doing. It was clear when his hand darted into the fridge, and he pulled out a different carton of milk before sitting back down with it.
Ah, Justin mused silently to himself, reaching to use the carton in which he had previously offered Jorginho. Old habits die hard.
He drowned his two wheat biscuits in the bowl with milk while pushing away thoughts regarding Jorginho and that clandestine purple t-shirt. But he could not ignore the evidence that he had gotten used to the milk that James usually kept stocked in the house when Justin was not visiting.
His thoughts, however, were interrupted by Jorginho. Perhaps the older man had noticed his brewing quietness and even if he had chosen not to speak of it as he had chosen not to speak of a few things with him, he had sensed that he had brushed him the wrong way by locating the milk himself.
He should not be so comfortable in that house, Jorginho believed that Justin was thinking. He had decided to move out, after all.
"Do you think you could show me where the sugar is?" This question from Jorginho seemed to appear out of nowhere within Justin's mind. As if he had been underwater and was suddenly pulled out of the depths, he could not deny the voice that he was hearing.
Stubbornness that could have threatened to brew like Justin's tea could not deny him from helping the other man. Standing up off his bar stool and with a wave of the hand, he told Jorginho to remain seated and that he did not need to be shown exactly. Justin would get it for him and then Jorginho would know for next time.
Soon enough, he was seated back down again and Jorginho was pressing his mouth together in a grateful way after the pot of sugar was slid across the black marble countertop towards him. But still, no dimple like a ripe segment of fruit hung above where a missing patch of hair in his greying beard nested.
The patch that James teased was the shape of a heart.
While Jorginho doused in sugar his own wheat biscuits that he had since put in his own bowl – four of them to Justin's amusement – Justin began eating them exactly as they were with the exception of being bundled in Miltank Milk. He tried not to eye the other man too steadily. Too judgmentally.
He thought that they were delicious without anything being added to them. No Combee honey for sweetness. No syrup from one of the great trees of Paldea. Certainly not in simple sugar.
But he knew that he was alone in these thoughts.
On the rare occasion that Sammy joined him for the same breakfast rather than plain white toast and a contrasting black coffee like he usually had, then he teased him fondly by the way that Justin easily polished off quadruple the amount that he been placed into his bowl on that evening and deemed it the most delicious breakfast in the world with nothing more than milk.
It was extremely healthy, granted. Its plainness, however, was an acquired taste! But perhaps Justin liked its boringness. Its simplicity. Life was often filled with color for him. Sometimes he toured night after night and was met with an audience of screaming people who begged to hear even the smallest sentence of a song that had not been played in front of a crowd before.
When life could be as chaotic and high energy as that, it was no wonder he basked in the glory of a few simple ingredients.
It suddenly dawned on Justin that Jorginho might have been the same. Though he sprinkled the cereal with enough sugar to send even the mellowest of people into a hyperactive state, like the chilly air nipping at the end of summer indicating the autumn that was to come, Justin realized that he and Jorginho may not be so different after all.
No, he knew that they were not that different. But that had not prevented things from feeling so odd when he had found out.
Jorginho had one of the riskiest jobs that Justin had ever heard of. No wonder James had invited him for Christmas, everything else aside. It was wonderful to do something so normal. And to be surrounded by sheer delight rather than high pressure stakes.
Jorginho was finishing off his last wheat biscuits when, for a rare occasion, Justin had only eaten one and was pushing around the second in his bowl, turning it into brown mush.
He looked across the table at the other man hesitantly.
"I'm sorry if you heard that I didn't take it so well when I first heard you were invited to spend Christmas here." Justin began suddenly. Immediately, Jorginho's soft brown eyes were on him and looking across the table at him. Justin hated that. He also hated that he quite liked it. That he was being listened to so attentively. "I... I don't feel like that now, just so you know."
While Justin set free from his throat some chuckles that were unusually unrhythmic but were truthful all the same, Jorginho finished eating the cereal in his bowl and set it aside, not even reaching for anymore. But it was not this which caused Justin's uneasy laughter to silence.
Justin rested his elbow on the countertop and cupped his own cheek with his pale knuckles as Jorginho pressed his mouth into a thoughtful smile, considering his words before coming out of them.
Justin could not help but observe that that was so different from his partner. From Jorginho's younger brother. He wondered whether it would have been easier if Jorginho too blurted out whatever was in his head.
"I wouldn't have heard anything of the sort unless it came from you." Jorginho commenced. In that one sentence, he spoke of a loyalty within the walls of the household which ran deep. Justin pressed his own mouth together as he listened, no dimple of his own appearing either. "But... I'm glad that you feel better about me being here." Jorginho's eyebrows quivered together on his face. Justin could not help but notice how big his eyes were. Another family trait not shared. "The last thing I ever want is to make you feel uncomfortable."
And with that, Jorginho decided to not say anymore and allowed Justin instead to have his turn, reaching back for the bowl and lifting the spoon to his mouth to lick away any milk that he had forgotten about.
He really had gotten a taste for the plant milk!
Within the sentences that the two men decided to say, a whole lot was spoken. That Christmas had been an odd one. Jorginho and James had been together and then not together. Lynne, Jordan, and Morgan were still lost in the heavens. It was Justin and Sammy's first Christmas as a family of five. But with all the weirdness and without some of the core group...
Justin did not dare finish that sentence.
He did not dare think that it oddly felt as if it was going to be their last. He also did not dare to allow a bead of sympathy to make its way into his stomach as he realized that his dad and Jorginho had not been able to have a first Christmas together, let alone a last.
It was not that Justin did not want them to be together. Was not that he did not want them to be happy. It was just... Well, he did not know what it was.
Complicated was a good word for it.
Justin's mouth ran, and he was saying sentences for the sake of saying them before he could stop his milk scented lips.
"How do you usually spend Christmas?" he asked this question and then no sooner was it out there in the ether and Jorginho was tilting his head at the change in pace, Justin realized that he was interested. "I don't think I've seen you for Christmas Day before."
This much was true. Though Jorginho had been in contact with his little brother for more than five years at that point, they had only met in person a couple of years after that, and it was only recently that he had started to merge with everybody else.
Justin remembered the previous year when he had shown up for the day after Christmas to share a meal with he and Sammy - and the little ones had been ecstatic. It had been like having a much less white haired, much younger, and trimmer Santa Clause arrive on their doorstep! The presents had been bountiful. The laughs were plenty. The joy had practically burst the rooftop off the top of their house.
Once Jorginho had recovered from tilting his head at his best friend's eldest son changing the pace of their conversation quite abruptly, he could not help but answer with his own dedication to the truth, seeing no reason to lie.
Though he blinked his big, brown eyes, he answered emphatically.
"I usually spend it with my friend Oscar, his wife and their three boys." Jorginho said, and Justin nodded. He remembered this friend of his with the similar features to him at the firework party they had had in November – not to mention his red headed wife and three rambunctious lads. "I'll catch up with them tomorrow." Though Jorginho naturally smiled as he spoke, he looked down at his lap. Justin read this as him being thoughtful. Wistful, even. "It'll be good to see them. I haven't spent as much time with them recently as I usually do."
Justin knew why!
It was not fair to say that his father had been taking up all his time because it had been all of them. All the little family that they had created since Lynne had gone away.
Just like Justin's own oldest children, Darcy and Zack, were besotted with Jorginho, James' two youngest, Jorgie and Johnny were as well. Jorginho was hard to dislike. Some people had managed to. But for most of the part, his natural wide, eyed and even wider smiled disposition made everyone think he was quite the charming guy.
Justin wondered if things would have been different if he and Sammy had accepted more help with their newest baby, Layla. They had wanted to form a bit of a family bubble since Layla needed to get used to having two dads and the other children needed to get used to sharing, let alone being part of a proper family.
They had wanted it to be just them. Had they pushed Jorginho out in the process? Had he been forced to occupy his time with other things? Even pushing his way into another family?
A new question was suddenly on the tip of his tongue and, channeling his partner, Sammy, it was out there and Jorginho was hearing it.
"Oscar used to be in Team Rocket, right?" Justin mused. Jorginho echoed the word right, and then another question followed. Both of Justin's elbows were on the countertop and he was beginning to lean closer to Jorginho, intrigued, as he added: "Is that a common theme then?" Before Jorginho could wonder, Justin clarified. "Being in Team Rocket and then leaving to start a family?"
I do not know where Justin got that from. It was common knowledge that Jessie and James had started a family in Team Rocket, and it was only after things had gotten a bit too frightening that they decided to leave for a better life for their then family of five including Meowth and one baby on the way.
Unbeknownst to Justin, it was similar for Oscar and his wife as well. Oscar – or Osvaldo, as he was actually named – and Elvira, had one son in Team Rocket and they had left. It had been a harder escape for their family and not because of the fuss that Jorginho kicked up. On the contrary and sadly, he had not reacted in the slightest way like when he had learnt that Jessie, James and Meowth were leaving.
Oscar had been born into a long line of Team Rocket pilots, but he had still managed to escape for a better, richer tomorrow. Justin really did wonder if it was a common thread within the organization. A prophecy.
You found your happiness when you burnt the red R that lingered on your chest.
Jorginho set him straight, drawing backwards but not relinquishing the hold that he had of Justin's gaze.
"Everybody in Team Rocket has a different path." he began stiffly, not really answering the question before shrugging his broad shoulders, the hold that he was having on Justin's gaze not being so intense suddenly. "It is filled with many different kinds of people."
Justin wondered if, out of all these people, were his parents some of his favorites? He must have worshipped Oscar and his wife and their boys if he spent most Christmases with them. And he knew that he was close with a lot of Team Rocket members, some having quit and some still in the organization. Justin knew about a group drinking session with some of them in the summer and how Jorginho had invited Jessie and James.
But Justin could not help but think, did his parents and Meowth have a special hold on him? Is that why he had taken their departure so badly? Was Justin being cocky? That it was his nearest and dearest and his own flesh and blood that had struck such a cord with Jorginho?
Justin knew how many different types of people were in Team Rocket. While his upbringing in the creche were filled with hazy memories, it was a part of his make up as much as anything else was. He was one of the Morgan children that almost wore the faded R on his skin like it was a blemish that had faded over time but had not disappeared completely.
It was something that made him - him. Jorginho was part of him in a way that was not too dissimilar to how he was a part of his parents and Meowth too.
But rather than asking any Team Rocket sort of question, Justin threw a curveball. Jorginho was not really expecting it as he sat across the table from the younger man.
"Do you think that having children is in your future?" Justin wondered. This was a question that he had tried to shove deep down inside of himself. But after years of keeping that one part of himself a secret, he was loath to keep anything privately inside him for exceedingly long at all.
He knew that it could brush Jorginho the wrong way. That it was not really his business. It was a personal question. He would have been okay if Jorginho denied him the answer. But he just wanted to know if he could know.
Jorginho drew backwards from Justin all over again, this time breaking eye contact with him completely before finding himself going back again, his gaze flickering over and over. A hand with a blurry tattoo close to the thumb roamed through unruly locks before massaging over a beard.
Justin trusted that Jorginho did not find honesty lurking there between patches of hair. But he found enough consolation to be honest. Well, as honest as he could be.
Jorginho had not really been honest about this subject with anyone, but James was the closest. James knew that it was something that he wanted. But it was a dream that he was certain that he would never align with under normal circumstances.
"I always hoped that one day I would have the chance to be as good as a father as I could possibly be." Jorginho began, the flickering of his gaze dying down and causing a tightness to catch ahold of Justin's throat. "But sometimes dreams don't come true." Jorginho breezed over these words. But Justin was not protected from the nip of cold as if the window were still open. Even Jorginho's brave smile did not warm the sensation. "I often long for a home and a family. But I see it as a positive that I have time spare and can give others whatever time they ask of me."
The words hung up in the air that Jorginho had more time to be an uncle – especially to sweet little Layla – and just like Oscar and his family, he had making up to do. He wanted to catch up more with her and their family in the New Year.
Not that Jorginho had the time to notice it, but as Justin's bottom slowly lifted off the bar stool, other words hung up in the air as well. Words that were not given the time of day. You see, suddenly, Justin and Jorginho were no longer alone.
It is not true what they say, you know. Well, it is. But it also is not.
A mother's instinct is the most powerful thing in all the world. But a father's instinct can be just as potent. Justin was attuned straight away to the way that James entered the room with Layla in the crook of his arm.
Though she was no longer mewling, Justin knew that she was awake.
Before Jorginho could fully turn, Justin was properly sliding his bottom away from his chair.
"Is everything okay with her?" he wondered, not hesitating to approach his father with his daughter in his arms and feeling the way that Jorginho's gaze was now flickering between all three of them. Despite paternal panic growing like a thorn in his throat, it was not lost on Justin that James' eyes had wanted to flutter too. He explained. "We were just having a chat over a bowl of cereal. A little odd, I know." Justin turned over his shoulder to Jorginho just once. "But it's been very nice."
He may not have been given the chance for some words to appear, but he would be damned if he did not let these ones out into the room. As if this simple acknowledgment had given Jorginho permission – or perhaps he would not have acted any other way regardless of what Justin chose to say – he too left his bar stool and approached everybody else.
Justin was reaching his hand out to his daughter's tufty locks while Jorginho was deciding whether he should even stand too close to James.
"Is the little one, okay?" Jorginho wondered, his head tilting so observantly on the side and his eyes filling with such a level of care that could not be falsified that Justin slowly began to feel as though it would be a crime if Jorginho ended up without children.
Another thing that would go unsaid.
James, fortunately, found his voice. Things were easier for him. He explained that he had heard Layla grizzling for a feed and had somehow woken him up, but Sammy had remained peacefully asleep! Justin chuckled, able to remember the ecstatic bubble of being a father and seeing this as amusing rather than a chore.
Without hesitation, he thanked his father for his dutifulness and scooped Layla out of his arms and brought her to his slim chest. Her milk from her surrogate mother was being stored in the fridge in the pantry room overlooking the garden so it was time to head to another room as the clock kissed the beginning of Christmas Day.
And to Justin's surprise, both James and Jorginho followed him. Not that he would dare speak this part, but he sort of hoped that they were going to stay behind in the breakfast bar together. James would have asked what they had been talking about – not probing but caring - making sure that everything was okay.
Jorginho would have commented that he loved Justin like his own and not just because he was attached to James. Not just because he was in love with Sammy. But because he was him and their paths were entwined.
Justin did not dare think these words for too much longer at all. But he sort of hoped that they would have stayed behind together and that they would have been able to talk. About far more than the subject of him.
Someone deserved to wear their heart on their sleeve and get it all out there.
Justin knows that it is rare to get second chances. Rare to get another go at things. But just because they are rare does not mean that they are impossible. He learned this the following year when, funnily enough, he was not even thinking of the previous year, but it all came back to him in a sudden flood.
That year had been a difficult one. A changeable one. Things were not as they had once been. But still, on Christmas Eve in his parents' house, he had once again woken up in his childhood bedroom with a familiar groaning in his stomach.
Justin was hungry again! And so, the second half of our story begins. And a second chance is put into motion.
Unlike when he had interrupted the slumber of somebody the previous Christmas, Justin had managed to get further stuck into his midnight cereal making shenanigans. However, just like the first time, he had tried to push it out of his mind. He had tried to occupy his mind with getting shut eye and he had even reached his hand to hold Eli's on the mattress next to him while he was dreaming happily.
But it was just no good. Justin had gotten better at a few things that year but pushing away thoughts – even just hungry thoughts – was not one of them!
He had tiptoed out of the room, past Layla who was now taking up much more space in her travel crib once again against the wall closest to the window and he had made his way to his parents' breakfast bar room.
Even Justin could not stop himself from experiencing déjà vu. And Justin knew that this venture was an even bigger risk. But he and the person sleeping inside had once been so remarkably close. Closer than close. They were once the nearest and dearest to each other. He tried not to think that that could not be the case anymore. And he did not allow himself to ruminate on the fact that it was him as the reason that they were not.
But like a moth to a flame, Justin was back in the room all over again.
Unlike his older brother, Sammy slept in complete and utter darkness, and this made it challenging for Justin to carefully make his way past the living area of the room and towards the breakfast bar. But he remembered how he had done it the year before.
It got a lot easier when he was able to, as silently as he could, edge the fridge door open and allow the light of that to illuminate his way. Poking his head around the door, he checked that Sammy was not stirring. He was not. He had always been a very deep sleeper. Well, when he was able to sleep, of course.
Justin forced himself to be prompt. As much as he would have loved to grant himself the same carefulness and patience as when he had been swiping cereal from underneath Jorginho's nose, he knew that the situations were not the same. Some people thought that they should not really be in the same room together, let alone after dark! And some people thought that it was absurd that Sammy was spending Christmas with all the Morgan's just like he had always done.
Maybe it was.
Justin, however, thought of another word when it came to describing the turn of events. But Justin could not focus on that. As hurriedly and as quietly as he could, he took his usual wheat biscuits out of the cupboard and since he had already grabbed a bowl and a plate, he placed one husk into the bowl and the other three on the plate. For later.
For the first time since the fridge had been opened and lighting the way, Justin's hand darted into it to fetch his milk. For all the things that had changed since the year before, his preference for Miltank Milk had not and he piled the bowl high with the stuff! He poured enough in there to drench the other biscuits when they were eventually added.
Justin reached to put the milk back in the fridge door. But he miscalculated the distance even with the orange glow of the fridge lighting the way. Suddenly, the carton of milk had dropped to the floor – but thankfully had not spilled since the cap had been screwed on.
But Sammy was awake. Letting out a shocked groan, he rose like a vampire from sleeping on his back on the sofa and with instincts as quick as ever, he flicked the light of the coffee table on. Not that he needed to since the refrigerator light was still aglow.
He rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands, concealing his utter confusion.
"Justin? What are you doing?" Sammy's voice sounded a little harsher than usual but that was only because he had not even realized that he had fallen asleep. It had not been easy knowing that Justin was in a room that they once slept in with somebody else.
Though Justin knew that he was in the wrong for even considering sneaking around under Sammy's nose even if it was just to get cereal, thanks to his tone of voice, he was suddenly the younger man that he had once been.
He knew that everything was his fault.
His pale neck flushing as if it had gotten too close to a fire, Justin scrunched his face up and bent to reach for the milk on the floor, hurriedly shoving it back in its right place and slamming the door. He no longer needed the glow of the fridge to light his way. The illumination of his neck could surely help guide him.
He apologized profusely, pushing the bowl of milk and one biscuit as well as the plate further towards the center of the breakfast bar countertop as if they were in danger of falling also.
"I am so sorry. I was hungry." Justin nearly pleaded, his eyes that were naturally wide and expressive at the best of times glossing over just a fraction. He tried to swallow back the heat travelling over his throat. "I didn't mean to wake you. I am such an idiot."
He flashed a smile. But it was a pitiful one. One filled with apology more than just for waking him up. As Justin's teeth glittered in his mouth, they did so as much as the sand pricking wetness into his eyes.
Sammy might have only just been adjusting to the reality that they were then in together, but his nature did not stop from prevailing. He automatically began reassuring the other male. Even if the past year had ended their relationship.
"Don't be silly." he began, before taking a second or two to smooth down his locks that had grown a little matted at the back from the half an hour of sleep, he had just managed to find himself sinking into. He needed the motion of the wall clock's hands to figure out his next words. "You don't change, do you?"
The word good echoed in the chambers of Sammy's mind but Justin did not hear them. He never would have even considered them. He was too busy encouraging his shoulders to unclench as he came to his senses.
He had not done a dreadful thing. Perhaps not a wise thing. But he had not been malicious. He had just wanted to eat.
Justin chuckled uncertainly, reaching towards the bowl and the plate for a second time but this time it was to draw them closer to him. He was preparing to leave after his rude interruption.
"I'm so sorry to wake you. I will be going now." he muddled through these words, his tongue feeling very uncontrollable and hyperactive in his mouth. His words were coming out quicker than usual. "Go back to sleep, Sammy."
He properly took hold of the bowl and the plate. It was not in his character to leave the opened box of cereal on the countertop for somebody else to clear up. But he felt that he had done enough.
However, even he could see that Sammy was beginning to swing his legs over the sofa, standing up. He had woken him up but as time went on, it did not seem to be too much of an issue.
"No. Sit down and eat. It's fine." Sammy said. His tattooed arms that were concealed in a long sleeved, black pajama top waved as he gestured to the kitchenware in Justin's hands. Justin remained standing for some time, his bowl and plate in his hold, unsure what to do. "Perhaps I can join you."
His hesitance had given Sammy time. Time to consider how he waited to play things. In the end, it was quite clear
Sammy waited, standing on the carpet in front of the sofa as he anticipated a response from Justin. He would only do so if he let him join him. Would only do so if he wanted to.
Justin inwardly shuddered at his own actions, but he found himself setting free from his lungs a mighty exhale that he did not even realize that he had been holding onto. He knew he had to find his words quickly in case Sammy overthought this action on his part like they were both prone to doing.
He relinquished his kitchenware back down onto the countertop. His nodding head conveyed things that his lack of a smile did not.
"Please do. I'd really like that." he answered. Before he could think that it was the polite thing to do to offer Sammy the seat opposite him first, Justin's hand dragged the bar stool away from the black marble countertop and he sat down in it.
Similarly, Sammy jolted into action also. I wonder what Justin was thinking as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat while the other man showed that he knew his way around that room in the Morgan Household as much as he did.
Upon future reflection, I presume that Justin tried to focus on the gladness that his throat could bob all over again without the extra burning sensation rendering him croaky as he blushed.
"Do you want a cup of tea?" Sammy wondered, already reaching into the correct cupboard where an assortment of teabags and coffee granules were located. No doubt would he remember where the mugs were as well. "I think I'll get a coffee."
These words from Sammy were like Justin had already ingested the coffee that the other man was describing. It was if he had made himself his brother Jorginho's famous six shot expresso drink!
Justin pinged away from his bar stool, thankfully not shuddering milk out of his bowl and wetting the countertop. He stood side to side with Sammy, his arms hanging limply in his usual lanky stance.
"Um, I do actually. But I'll get it." he was trying to do the right thing. The polite thing after his rude interruption. But in the desperation to do the right thing, his words come out blandly.
Thankfully, Sammy did not seem to mind. Or even if he did, he did not show it. Tactfully, he broke some of the distance with Justin's pale arm swinging close to his and he did so by needing to fetch the two mugs.
Although he added some space between them, he turned over his shoulder at Justin after merely opening the right cupboard door, encouraging him with a waving gesture of the hands.
"It's fine, I can make it." he said, noticing that Justin still was not moving so he waved his hands some more, dark eyebrows rising towards his full hairline. "Sit and eat. You won't like your cereal if it gets too soggy."
Justin wanted to point out that he had only added one wheat biscuit to the bowl so he would have been able to tolerate one unpleasant one if the rest were to his liking. But Sammy's words had spoken of knowing. And while he did twitch his head into performing the tiniest of nods and he did relinquish against his barstool, he still found himself protesting one last time.
"But I-"
Like Justin had interrupted Sammy's slumber, Sammy interrupted his words. He was forced to be closer to Justin all over again, his back close to brushing Justin's own one as he reached to pop a teabag into Justin's mug and had a spoon in his hand ready to measure granules into his own one.
Not that Justin could see it, but Sammy's dark curtained bangs shimmied as he shook his head.
"It's fine." he insisted. And then he added to remind. Or to tease. To remove some of the atmosphere that had the potential to be sliced with a knife. "Don't worry, I remember how you like it."
And with that, though Sammy's back was turned to him and his own spine was the only thing looking back at the other man, Justin could not help but set free a breath from his nostrils. He did indeed smile. It was not the most natural one in the world. But it was not entirely dishonest.
Justin mumbled a grateful thank you and he got stuck in to eating the first of his mushy wheat biscuits while the kettle was flicked on and eventually started to boil.
Sammy made their drinks in the way that he had always done. His own coffee with a heaped spoonful of granules and water poured to the top and with no milk. And then came Justin's tea. The teabag was left for a good few minutes in the mug and when it was ready to be removed, it was squeezed within an inch of its life. Milk was to be added to it. But just a splash.
Sammy managed to take out and put back the milk without any clumsiness. And then while Justin was plopping his second wheat biscuit into the sludgy milk, the other man moved around to the opposite side of the table, placing his coffee right in front of him and sliding Justin's tea towards him.
He accepted with gratitude, bringing it close to him even though he was still eating. Sammy merely nodded and invited himself to sit down. A heavy thickness loomed over the room. Interactions had been exchanged. Conversations like they had always had presented themselves. Drinks were made and accepted with the same care.
But things were different from they had once been, and they both knew that. They still, however, did not know how to act that it was fine that they both knew that. Justin never knew what to say. If he were too keen or too friendly or too bubbly, he worried that it would make Sammy feel even worse.
He was sure that it would not exactly rub it in his face what he was missing. Because Sammy had been the one to break up with him. It was he who first realized that they had approached a dead end a long time ago.
But still, Justin had made a companion out of guilt over the past year, and it always hung over him at every corner, poking its bony finger into his skinny ribs and tormenting him no matter the time that passed. It was often remorse that made him unsure what to say. How to behave. How to be.
Sammy was equally as clueless. A bit of stubborn pride still existed, impaling him like a red, hot poker. If he was too bubbly or too friendly or too keen, then Justin would think that he wanted him back. He did not. He knew that it had been the end, and he had been the one brave enough to spell that out.
But he would be lying if he did not miss having a proper family of his very own. Especially since his parents' marriage was heading towards the same ruin. He could not pretend forever that he was part of the Morgans.
They would soon belong to Eli. Not him.
"Christmas Eve tomorrow." Justin's voice sounded as he took a break from eating after his third wheat biscuit, rising his watch-less wrist to wipe dribbles from threatening to cascade down his chin, cutting right through the silence that had occurred. "Can't believe how fast this year has gone."
Justin stomach privately lurched at the first sentence that he uttered, the back of his hand protecting the lower half of his face but not well enough because he still added more words. And he still cringed even more at them.
Why had he said that?!
It had gone swiftly for him. Saying somewhat of a goodbye to Sammy. Taking another chance on he and Eli – now Elijah to him. The spontaneous decision somehow working out and finally being able to truly call him his own. A new roof over both their heads. Turning heartache and confusion into song lyrics. Raising the children between all of them.
Sometimes he did not know if he would wake up and would find himself in an unfamiliar tour room and all this had been a bizarre dream after he had finally gotten some sleep following a string of festivals that had kept him in an adrenaline-fueled euphoria.
It had not gone so swiftly for Sammy. Being the one to set forth the goodbye with Justin. Moving out of what had been intended to be their forever home. Downsizing. A half empty double bed. Watching Jorginho find love and watching him marry Daisy right as Sammy's entire world came crashing down piece by piece Raising the children as best as he could.
Sometimes the heartache blurred all the days into one. He knew that he had done the right thing by ending it. But Justin had once been the love of his life. Still was, really. It was not easy walking away from a relationship that he had been a part of since he was twenty-five.
Despite Justin's reddening cheeks, the year had passed quickly for him too. But the word he chose to speak at first did not clue Justin into anything.
"Insane." Sammy at last responded, bringing the coffee mug to his lips, and blowing on the contents before taking a sip. He might have lowered the mug from his mouth, but he kept it in his hands. He needed the warmth because sometimes he worried that Justin had taken all his. "I can't wait to see the kids' faces in the morning." These words caught Justin off guard. The next even more so. "Let's hope that Zack doesn't do a you and rip all of the presents open for himself before anybody else is even awake."
This might have brushed a lot of ex-partners the wrong way. How dare somebody that you are no longer with still hold all the memories, the tales, and the anecdotes that you once shared. How dare they cling onto them as if they still had some power over them.
But Sammy was not like this. Certainly not Justin either. He had to stop his cheeks from rushing too giddily red. At least he could blame it of the mouthfuls of tea that he then took after watching Sammy do the same with his coffee.
Justin did not want Sammy back either. But it gave him hop that the father of his children was able to bring up tales of his past with no seeming awkwardness. Justin took another mouthful of tea, this time an intentionally slow one as he used it to calm his hopeful heart.
When he removed the mug from his lips and placed it back down on the marble countertop, he could not help but smile at Sammy. He knew that it would be too much to rest his elbow on the surface below, cupping his chin with his fingers.
So instead, he acted as if specs of dust gritted the counter, and he made swirling patterns in the invisible matter with the pad of his ring clad pointer finger.
"I'm so glad that you said yes to spending Christmas here, Sammy." Justin began, swallowing as if a droplet of tea had made its way back up and not breaking the contact of his finger against the cool surface. "I know my dad is so excited to be able to see everybody this year."
Why couldn't Justin say that he was excited to see everybody, including Sammy?
The truth was it was a risk for them even being there. Together. It was a risk when Justin had said the first part of his sentence, let alone if he had been able to say what he truly wished to say.
It was not exactly a lie.
So much had changed in that year and not just for Justin and Sammy's little family. The previous Christmas, Jordan and Lynne had been absent and Jorginho without anybody to really call his own had been there. It had been a family Christmas. But without all the extra people who made them feel like a proper family.
This year was different. It was a gathering bigger than ever!
Jorginho had indeed found and married Daisy and – not that even they knew at that point – but she was about to bloom with children of their own. Katie and Jayden were going to spend it with them too, alongside their daughter, Alice, and the little one that was blooming in Katie's belly also.
Of course, Eli was preparing to spend his first Christmas with the Morgan's as Justin's boyfriend. And Sammy was there too.
It was all bigger than ever. That meant more could be lost. But on the flip side, so much more could be gained. Justin still did not know what he could gain by being honest. He wished that he had been able to tell Jorginho certain things the year before.
He wished he could tell Sammy things too. But they had already lost so much. Altered so much. Mourned. Mourned so much.
"Well..." Sammy started, his hands still wrapping around the black coffee mug and his tattoo etched fingers looking bare without all the rings that usually clung to his skin. "I couldn't exactly say no to that opportunity, could I? Especially not when your dad has been so wonderful to me." Sammy's face suddenly grew serious as he drew his hands away from his mug. "Your mom too, of course. But your dad-"
To be known is to be loved.
Sammy showed that still love lingered there despite it all from the way that he still knew how to brew Justin's perfect mug of tea. Showed it by the anecdote that he had brought up about Justin's childhood.
To be known is to be loved. To be loved is to be known. It works in reverse, and it worked in reverse then as Justin knew Sammy enough to trust that he could interrupt his words for him.
His fingertips silently tapped on his own mug as he answered for the other man.
"I know." Justin said. From his tone of voice and looking into his eyes as much as he could without growing melancholy, Sammy trusted that he really did know. Before he even heard the next part. "You're very much part of his heart. Always will be." Justin swallowed as if hot tea had run down his neck. He could not say what he was really thinking. It would just be too much. But he could say the next part. "We're all very delighted that you chose to be here. Especially me." Justin's throat cleared, giving way for one last bit. "You've always been incredibly cool."
Justin did not mean it like that. Sammy considered acting as if he thought that he meant it in that way, shimmying his shiny dark locks in front of his eyes and his features lighting up as much as the jewelry that usually hung in his lobes and his nostrils.
But Justin did not mean it like that.
So, Sammy just could not act as if he meant it. He stopped feeling like the bigger man he had tried to be and the man who followed scriptures like they were written just for him as he heard his admission from the other man. He needed to drop his eyes down to the table and he needed to discover for himself whether any dust clung on the marble as well, a bare finger swirling around.
Justin began to feel incredibly foolish, and this was shown by the heartrate that was hammering inside its chest beginning to bleed into his cheeks, flushing them. But he need not have worried. He need not have doubted the man that he once shared his life with and still shared a family with.
Sammy was always going to do the right thing, even if it did not feel like the right thing. Was always going to say the honorable thing. That was, of course, how he believed that true integrity developed. You fed it as if it already existed.
He was able to meet Justin's eyes again, it not growing lost on him the way that his cheeks were reddening in the low, orange glow of the coffee table lampshade. He could not lie. But he could not help but grow the man that he wanted to be. The man that trusted that his story would work out in the end.
"Well..." That word appeared again. He raised his hand to run through his locks, stopping his curtained bangs from shielding too much of his face. His heart was often unguarded. That was why he always felt so deeply. Sammy could only be honest. Even if it hurt him. That was what his God asked of him. "Life stopped being just about me a long time ago." Justin twitched. But Sammy was already continuing. "I just want the children to be happy. And I'm so grateful that they want to see me here too."
If I had heard this sentence coming out from Sammy in real time, then I would have surely wept!
Oh, Sammy.
I knew that more than just Darcy, Zack and little Layla wanted to see Sammy there on the morning of Christmas. And it was not just Jessie and James who were hosting the Christmas gathering in their house. Not just Jorginho who had watched his brother's brave capabilities in love and finally managed to secure it for himself as well.
Of course, it was Justin. It all came down to Justin.
But would he at last voice this? Would he have the composure to voice this regardless of the outcome? Would he be able to ignore his prideful side and trust Sammy to take it in the way that he delivered this?
Yes, he would voice this. Or at least, he would try.
Taking a deep inhale into his lungs, Justin had long forgotten about the last wheat biscuit in his bowl. Sammy had always been so cool. He had been his first real love that had oftentimes felt like a miracle – one that had him enthralled since the very beginning - and a rollercoaster rolled into one. He had experienced everything with Sammy. Yes, even it ending.
But beyond the person that Sammy was to him, the person that he was all on his own was just as spectacular, Justin thought. He had given him the greatest gift of all. Not just their bond. Not just their children. A place to come home to at the end of the day. Blood to call his own.
The greatest thing Sammy had offered was to set him free.
Now Justin knew that he needed to do this to his words. Before these little winged creatures rattled around in his stomach and drove him crazy. They too needed to fly.
"Well..." he chose to begin them just like Sammy would. They were very much part of each other, you see. You cannot erase history. And you cannot erase a relationship that lives longer in memory than it does in reality.
Another thing that you cannot do is predict the future. You cannot control other people.
I say this with no meanness that I would have once very much meant: unfortunately, James entered the room.
He stopped his son mid conversation. He usually would have rather done anything than that. But he could not help but feel worried of what was going down from the second that he saw Sammy's light on and then from the second that he saw both him and Justin at opposite ends of the bar table.
James did not bother to explain that Jorgie had woken him up and he had decided to check everything was okay with everybody else too. His palm pressing over his chest and his tired eyes blinking with care, he approached the two men on the cusp of something path-altering.
"Everything okay here?" he asked. Though Justin was his flesh and blood, he was on the further side of the table to him so after asking this question, he found himself breaking the distance with Sammy first.
He wrapped his arm around his shoulders. Sammy did not hesitate to lift his own arm and pat James in a greeting on the back. Justin watched. And as Justin watched, something ignited within him.
Not that burning tinge in his stomach that he knew all too well, it was far from it. Somehow, that gesture between his father and the father of his children slowed time down for him.
Life had changed so much in the past year. For them all. They had said goodbye to very life changing romances. Relationships. They had all possessed the bravery to try again. To keep going. To welcome each and every day even if the future was sometimes uncertain.
Justin suddenly remembered the love that his father had said goodbye to. And how he, just like Sammy, had been noble enough to step aside and allow true, ever-lasting love to sweep that person off their feet.
Justin suddenly remembered Jorginho. And the words that he had wanted to say to him. The words he had wanted to reassure him with. But he never got the chance. At least not on that Christmas Eve.
But this Christmas Eve was going to be different. This Christmas Eve, as it trickled into Christmas Day, he did not need any sort of festive wish. He was going to make his own visions come true.
Justin had a second chance. And he was not going to let important words drift into nothingness.
James' arm still around Sammy and before Sammy could even think about being the one to answer him, Justin was properly standing. And as his cheeks became aflame and his dimples appeared, his eyes misted. But he did not care.
He knew his words would be delivered in the way that they were meant to. He knew that he just had to say them.
"I'm fine, Dad." Justin began, choosing not to speak for Sammy. But he knew that he must speak for himself. Even if his eyes still found themselves fixing on the father of his children as he did not let this chance go for a second time. "I was just saying to Sammy that we are so happy to have him here. And that he will always have a place here, won't he? No matter what."
Of course, James agreed. And he showed that by the words that he uttered and the way that he squeezed Sammy tighter and pressed a kiss to the side of his head before moving to embrace Justin in the same way.
Watching father and son embrace made a fierce lump fill Sammy's throat. But the words that he had heard before that had done this even more. All he had been able to do in response was press his lips into a humbled smile and nod his head.
But like any wonderful words that caught you off guard, he allowed them to sink into his skin. To set up a home in his heart. And nestle in his mind, ready to be called upon at any time.
He had not known what awaited him when he left Justin. Truthfully, he still did not. But he was okay with that. The unknown was a great gift. He could paint it any color he wished. But the biggest wish of all had come true a long time. He was already part of a proper family. Because no family is proper.
They are all messy and hands that should be used to caress can turn to claws. All families find their paths treading away from each other at times and it is a guarantee that sometimes you feel as though you are on a rollercoaster.
But families know when the time is right to say sorry. and to patch wounds up with changing actions as well as promising words. They hug you so tight that you do not know where each of you begins and ends. And they elevate your heartrate with every inch of their love.
Sammy had found his family when his heart had found Justin's. That was never going to change. Some things just never faltered.
James pressed a kiss to the side of his son's head too. No doubt did he want to add to Justin's words with confirming ones of his own. But for a rare occasion, he had no more to add. He could only speak with gestures. And then when he did choose to speak, he spoke with lightness.
But this somehow spoke most of all.
"Off you go to bed now, boys. Come on, it's late." he said, a twinkle growing in his eyes like fairy lights had just been switched on. A twitched his mouth closer to his earlobe in the corner. "Otherwise, Santa Clause won't pay you a visit."
Justin's dimples sliced holes in his cheeks furthermore as his mouth spread wider at Justin's joke. Sammy laughed too. Perhaps they wanted to sit together a little longer. To say more things. Or even just bask in their newfound dynamic, even if the future of that was uncertain and a new level of murkiness was just around the corner.
But the two of them trusted – God given faith or not – that they would end up sharing these moments together again when the time was right. For now, they could not disagree with the man that was a father to them both really!
They allowed themselves to be embraced and kissed one last time. Or so they thought. They bid goodnight to each other too, their own mouths pressing together and their heads merely nodding but the peace that transcended between them speaking of the dawn of a new day.
A new era.
Justin headed off back to Eli. Sammy got settled back on the sofa. The world got a whole lot quieter. The moon made its way through the sky. The stars revolved. Everybody slept but sleepily edged closer and closer to Christmas morning.
James, on the other hand, was captured by wakefulness.
After checking that Jorgie was once again asleep and tucked up sweetly with her mother, he could not help but check on the other two as well. He lifted Justin's hand away from the floor and tucked it underneath his pillow where his head was hiding also. He even pulled the duvet a bit further over Eli as it was gradually beginning to slip away from him.
Then James checked that Sammy was in dreamland. He was. He was no longer on his back but on his side and it gave James a very particular warmth in his iris to see him snoozing there. He turned off his light for him that he had somehow forgotten to do, and he gave him one last kiss on the head.
Truthfully, he had mourned the not quite son in law that he had lost. But he trusted that he would always be around. Not through obligation. Through blood. Or even circumstance. But through choice.
James knew what it was like to have hands that longed to draw love closer but knew when it was time to set it free. But watching Sammy do that with bravery in his heart as he did not know what next awaited him gave him as big of a breath of fresh air as his own trials and tribulations.
He listened to Sammy breathe in and breathe out in his sleep and then he left him for good.
Yes, he was making room for what was next. It was on his way. And what was waiting for him would make him feel like every single Christmas wish had come true, let alone any that he made on that Christmas. He never even made any. But it had found its way to him anyway.
Because whatever is meant for you, always finds a way.
The End.
There you go, thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! After my last upload and Justin as a twenty two year old, I really enjoyed reading about a more wholesome side to Justin and his foolishly hungry side :P Both situations were visibly awkward for him, though in the second he has a lot more guilt. Whenever I think about Justin and this part of his life, I often think that he has a lot of that emotion rattling around inside of him. Definitely why he and Misty get along really well because they both learn to overcome it through helping each other. I really do love Justin and Sammy's relationship and like I said above - yes for some reason I am way more fonder of them as a dynamic since I know Justin ends up with Eli instead :P Thank you again for reading and I will be back next Wednesday with my second festive upload so see you then perhaps!
Amy signing out :3