The sound of the lock sliding into place broke the silence stretching across the room. With a soft swish, the curtains slid in place in front of the windows, leaving her fully alone with her thoughts. Though she looked perfectly calm while slipping out of the dress and into her nightgown, inside she was trying to sort through a whirlwind of emotions. Poking through the bewilderment was the same disquiet that she felt after answering a question wrong on a test. She wanted to step back out, to correct herself. But, what was there to say? After finishing her evening preparations, Shirayuki padded softly over to the balcony, peeking the curtain back slightly to look outside. She was not surprised to see that it was empty. She debated knocking on Obi's door.
Shaking her head lightly, she decided to that leaving him be would be best. Hoping that things would be smoothed over by morning, she slid into her bed, resting her splinted arm lightly on her stomach. The strain of the day caught up to her quickly, and she fell into afitful sleep.
Morning came far too soon, and Shirayuki groaned as she pulled the blankets over her head. She knew there would be no sleeping in, but she was loathe to leave her bed, feeling as tired as she had when she had climbed in. Nevertheless, she forced herself to her feet, going through her morning ablutions. A pale green dress had been carefully laid across the back of her chair, and she realized that Camille must have slipped in earlier that morning to help her prepare. With as busy as the castle was sure to be this morning, Shirayuki was not sure if the maid would be back to assist her in dressing. This dress laced up rather than buttoned up, and it looked a little more manageable on her own.
Shirayuki had just managed to slip the dress over her head when a knock sounded on her door. Kiki's voice called from the other side, and Shirayuki moved swiftly to the door, opening it. She was unused to seeing Kiki so early in the morning and hoped her friend was in a good mood.
"Good morning, Kiki!" she chirped, one hand holding the top of her dress up.
"It is morning, indeed," Kiki noted flatly, sending an appraising eye over the girl. "Would you like some help?"
"If it wouldn't be too much trouble, thank you." Shirayuki turned her back towards the woman, whose nimble fingers made short work of the laces. "Not that I mind seeing you, but why are you here so early?"
"Obi sent me. He came to my room this morning and let me know that you would most likely need help getting ready. He's supposed to be attending to Zen prior the funeral services, but I told him to go wash up first. He smelled like he'd rolled in a barrel of whiskey."
The redhead looked over her shoulder at the knight and bit her lip. "Did he say anything else?"
"No, but he was looking pretty distracted. Sakaki let us know you were dining with Raj last night. What happened?"
Shirayuki walked over toward her dressing table, not wanting to look at her friend. "Oh, just the usual. We chatted for a while, and then… Raj proposed. And then Obi did, too." Kiki's eyebrows shot up, and Shirayuki blew out a long sigh. "Raj was serious and I told him no. Obi's was a joke. At least, I think it was."
"And what did you tell Obi?" Kiki tried to keep her tone casual, but curiosity was burning through her.
"I – I don't know. I said yes at first, but I think I was just caught up in the moment. And then I took it back." She let out a mirthless laugh. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Kiki. Any other woman would be thrilled. Three men proposing? To be a princess, a queen? They dream of it. And all I can think of is running away to where they can't find me."
"Obi would find you," Kiki remarked, walking up behind Shirayuki and meeting her eyes through the mirror.
"He's different. He doesn't try to own me and keep me behind closed doors. Besides, he's my guard. Isn't it his job to find me?"
"Shirayuki, hasn't he told you?" Kiki frowned at the girl. "He's not your guard anymore. At least not when you're in Clarines. The only time he's assigned to you is if we leave the castle grounds. And that's just because Mitsuhide and I have our hands full with Zen." This was accompanied with an eye roll. "He was relieved of guard duties a while ago. He acts as Zen's messenger officially and his spymaster unofficially."
"That can't be true. Why else would he be in the pharmacy nearly every day?" Shirayuki rifled through her memories, trying to think of if his habits had ever changed, but other than occasional brief absences, he was there almost as often as she was.
"Why indeed," Kiki mused, arching a brow and grabbing the brush to tame the mess the redhead's hair had become overnight. The last of the tendrils were tucked behind a jeweled net before a sharp rap sounded on the door. A harried looking kitchen maid dropped the breakfast tray on her table and bobbed a departing curtsey as she swished out the door.
Shirayuki picked at the tray, distraction chasing her appetite away. Was it obligation that kept him coming back? Her stomach soured at the thought. Surely he didn't think he owed her for anything. He never acted as if it were an imposition to stay with her, escort her on any of her trips. There was little danger for her in Clarines anymore since she was no longer in a relationship with the prince. The novelty of her hair had worn off, and only the occasional visitor remarked on it. Yet, day after day Obi was at her side, escorting her to the greenhouses or perched in her windowsill.
Perhaps it was boredom? She imagined, though, that her daily routine was not exactly fraught with danger or excitement. Her fingers picked a pastry apart as her mind churned, leaving a pile of crumbs on the plate in front of her. Why didn't he tell her? Then again, had she ever asked? Having Obi around was never awkward, and she had never considered sending him away. Truly, when he was gone, she felt like she was on the wrong foot all day.
Kiki watched over her teacup as the mountain of pastry crumbs grew. The idea of playing matchmaker held no appeal for her, but she had watched her friends so long that they were nearly inseparable in the minds of everyone around them. The only ones who had seemed oblivious were the pair.
"How did you know," Shirayuki blurted out. "That Mitsuhide, you know, liked you?" Teacup hit saucer with a sharp crack. Ladies do not gape, came unbidden into Kiki's mind, training of her youth schooling her face back into a look of indifference.
"He is my colleague," her words were clipped, "There is no attraction there." The word came out with a venom that surprised even the knight. Relationships were reserved for political alliances as far as her family was concerned. As her father's only heir, she was well aware that any match she made would not be of her making. Her avoidance of her family's lands was meant to stave off any would-be suitors.
"Oh," Shirayuki startled, taken aback. "It just seems like he's always with you, even when Zen isn't around. And he watches you a lot. He'll rarely even train with anyone other than you or Zen. Do you not like him?" Shirayuki's brows knitted together as she considered her friend. There was a new tenseness in her shoulders, and the usually bold blonde would not meet her eyes.
"It's not as easy as that. I've known Mitsuhide for a long time. I don't dislike him, but it's not a choice I get to make. You may not want a noble match, but my family craves it. I will not get to marry for love, even if I wish to. I can't let myself hope for someone as good as him, not knowing that it may just burn us in the end." Her eyes were studiously trained on her lap, her fingers tightly laced together. Her chest ached at speaking the truth she had learned as a child. Love matches were so rare that she could not dare to do any more than keep him at arm's length.
A sharp rap at the door brought both women out of their thoughts. Kiki stood and opened the door to the man in question. Unbidden, heat flushed her cheeks and she cleared her throat.
"Shirayuki, time to go." She made herself busy fluffing her skirts and looked anywhere but at the knight. By the time they had stepped out of the rooms, she had regained her composure and looked Mitsuhide in the eyes, surprised at the warmth she found there. A small smile broke through her usual cool composure as he gave her a small bow and led the women to where Obi and Zen waited to accompany them.
This time it was Shirayuki's turn to blush as her glance flitted over Obi. He was studiously looking past her, standing at attention beside Zen. She cast her eyes downward, a sudden fear lacing through her. What if she had broken something between them that could not be mended? The thought stilled her and she ached to reach out and touch his shoulder, make him look at her instead of past her.
The chapel bells began to toll, calling the castle's inhabitants to the church for the funeral. Trying to swallow past a quickly forming lump in her throat, Shirayuki stepped forward in line with Zen and made her way towards the church, the knights trailing behind. She was sure she imagined the heat of a gaze trained on her from behind.