CHAPTER 63
A/N: Hi everybody! Sorry, it took me a while to update the story but the closer we get to the end, the harder it is for me to write… I know I've lost some readers due to the slower updates, so thank you to everyone who is still here with me and for your reviews! Special thanks to pjay413 for proofreading this chapter. It starts with a few domestic scenes, and this time, I promise, the baby is finally coming! Enjoy!
A FEW DAYS LATER (EARLY EVENING) - AT HOME - BRITTANY's POV
"Hey you!" I pick up the phone as soon as I see that Santana is calling me. "Sorry I missed your call earlier, honey… I was busy with the kids and I didn't hear my phone ringing. Will you be home soon?"
"I… um… I can't come home tonight, Britt…" Santana replies in a strange voice.
"What? Why?" I frown.
"Because I'm sick…" She sighs. "I was actually at the doctor's when I called you earlier. I felt really bad at work today, and even had a fever, so I decided to get checked. Good thing I did, because the doctor said I caught some kind of virus." She says, before coughing.
"Oh, that's why your voice sounds so strange… I'm so sorry, honey." I say, hating that she feels this bad. "But what did you mean by 'you're not coming home'? You should come home so I can take care of you!"
"The doctor said it's very contagious, Britt… I really don't want to risk passing it to you while you're pregnant. And if I give it to any of the kids, they will all get it, and the virus will never leave our house."
"But… where are you right now?"
"I'm at the other house… At least here, I can stay warm and rest without contaminating anyone."
"But you will be alone…" I pout.
"I'll be fine…" She says in a reassuring tone, before coughing again. "I'm going straight to bed anyway."
"Did you even have dinner?" I ask. "Do you need anything?"
"I'm not hungry at all…" She says. "All I want is to lie down and sleep until this massive headache and the muscle pain go away… By the way, I called Anita, and she'll come by tomorrow morning to help you with the kids."
"I don't need anyone's help." I frown. "I can take care of my own kids, San."
"But you're 7 months pregnant, Britt… You know there are things you're not supposed to do. Or that you can't do anymore, like tying your shoes for instance…"
"So? I can ask Sofia to tie my shoes. She knows how to do it!" I argue.
"It's not just that, honey… You're already growing a baby, I don't want you to tire yourself out with chores just because I'm sick… Please, just let Anita help you, okay? For me…" She pleads.
"Fine…" I sigh in defeat.
LATER THAT NIGHT
After tossing and turning in bed forever, I check the time and let out a long sigh of frustration. It's already past 2:00 AM and I'm still awake! God, I really can't sleep without Santana anymore…
To help me relax, I decide to read some fanfiction for a bit, but I get interrupted by the baby kicking.
"What is it, pookie? You miss mama too, huh?" I ask and I chuckle when my little girl gives me another kick, as if she was answering yes.
"I know, it must be confusing for you not to hear her snoring tonight…" I laugh softly at my own joke, even though it's not as fun to tease Santana when she's not here.
I rub my belly for a minute, until the baby calms down, and eventually decide to text Santana.
TO "SAN": Our baby girl and I miss you very much… xo xo
THE NEXT MORNING – IN THE KITCHEN
Just like Santana said, Anita came by the house at the crack of dawn, and even prepared breakfast for us.
"Here you go, buddy…" I smile at Diego, wiping his mouth between two bites.
Barely a second later, my phone beeps and I smile upon reading the text I just received.
FROM "SAN": I miss you guys so much too…
TO "SAN": Well, we all send you plenty of kisses! Did you sleep well?
FROM "SAN": Not really, I woke up like a million times… But I guess it will take a few days before I feel better.
"Brittany, will you be okay if I leave for five minutes?" Anita suddenly asks, pulling me out of my text conversation. "I'm going to bring Santana some breakfast."
"Oh, I can do that!" I volunteer, getting up from my chair.
"Sorry, but Santana specifically asked me not to let you go to the other house." She says in an apologetic tone, making me disappointed.
Of course, she did…
"As a matter of fact, she won't even let me in either." Anita adds. "She asked me to leave the food just outside the door, in the corridor between the two houses."
"Well, at least bring her these too…" I say, handing her drawings the kids made for her.
"Of course, I'll make sure she gets them." Anita nods with a smile.
A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER (AFTERNOON TIME) – AT HOME
"Thanks for picking up the kids from school, Tina. I really appreciate it."
"Oh, it's not a problem." She smiles. "How's Santana doing?"
"Well, her fever has gone down, but she's still coughing a lot."
"You know, I spoke to Puck the other day and he said that Quinn was sick too."
"Yeah, Naya as well… Apparently, there's been some sort of epidemic in Paramount…"
ANOTHER COUPLE OF DAYS LATER – AT HOME
"Why can't mama do it?" Sofia pouts as I struggle to sew a button back onto her jacket.
"Because she's not healed yet and she needs to rest." I reply. "Look, I know she's so good she could do this in her sleep, but I can do it too, peanut! I'm just slower and a bit more clumsy, that's all…"
"When is she coming back?" She eventually asks in despair, clearly not impressed by my sewing skills.
"Not soon enough…" I sigh. "Believe me, no one misses your mama as much as I do."
"Because you don't get kisses?" She asks.
"That's part of it, yeah…" I admit with a chuckle while I continue sewing. "But I miss everything about her, you know? I miss talking to her, hugging her… I miss watching her go about her day when she thinks I'm not looking… And I miss sleeping in the same bed." I sigh. "I don't like to sleep alone."
"I can sleep in your bed, if you want?" She offers.
"Oh, peanut, you're so sweet…" I smile, caressing her cheek.
TWO DAYS LATER (AFTERNOON TIME) – AT HOME
After spending a couple of hours with Mercedes and Jackson, I come back home and find myself face to face with a beaming Santana.
"Oh my God, you're here!" I say, my jaw dropping in surprise.
"Yep!" She grins wide. "The doctor said I'm no longer contagious, so I'm moving back home! If you still want me, of course…" She says, and I immediately walk up to her, cupping her cheeks to pull her into a desperate kiss.
Even though I have to twist my neck a bit so my pregnant belly doesn't get in the way, I can't let go of her lips… I missed her way too much!
"Mmhh…" Santana moans softly against my mouth. "God, that's what I call an amazing welcome home…"
"Good, because I want more kissing…" I whisper, bringing our lips back together.
Our kiss heats up quickly, and I really don't want to stop. I need more of her, so badly…
"Are you feeling well enough to, you know, do stuff…?" I eventually whisper between kisses.
"Definitely…" She smirks. "You're not too tired?"
"Oh, no… I'm good!" I grin back, giving her another quick kiss. "And we've got a good two hours before the kids get out of school, so…" I trail off, wiggling my eyebrows playfully.
Without a word, she takes my hand and leads the way to our bedroom.
A WHILE LATER – IN BED
"Wow… Someone definitely missed me…" Santana laughs, still trying to catch her breath after we made love.
"You know what? I really did." I confirm. "You were away from me for an entire week…" I pout.
"Oh, no, not the pout… You know that's my weakness!" She says, capturing my lips in a tender kiss.
"And I missed you too, babe." She adds, caressing my cheek.
"Yeah? Are you sure? Because every time I offered to come check on you, you turned me down…"
"I was just trying to keep you and the baby healthy!" She objects. "Believe me, I would have loved having my sweet wife take care of me, instead of watching crappy movies and sleeping alone… I was so bored! Besides, I missed an entire week of your pregnancy…" She pouts.
"Well, not much happened… I just put on more weight, and our baby girl kept kicking me at night like always…"
"Do you want me to have a conversation with her?" She asks, making me chuckle.
"It's okay, I'll live." I shrug, my fingers tracing soft patterns on her abdomen.
"I missed touching your flat stomach…" I eventually admit. "I can't even remember how it feels not to have a huge belly…"
"You don't have a 'huge' belly, honey. You have a beautiful, round, pregnant belly…" She corrects me. "And it makes you so sexy…"
"Really?"
"Of course! Isn't what we just did enough proof that I find you sexy?"
"Mmmh… maybe." I reply. "But perhaps I need you to show me again…" I whisper, and she smirks, bringing our lips together once more.
A FEW DAYS LATER – AT PARAMOUNT – SANTANA's POV
"Ah, Quinn! Good, you're still here. I have something to ask you." I say, spotting her in the hall. "Could you stay on set tonight?"
"Tonight?" She repeats. "Oh, um… I actually have a date with Puck, so I was hoping to leave early…"
"Does that involve a parking lot?" I tease her, but she just slaps my arm in response.
"Okay, okay, don't hit me…" I laugh, raising my hands in defense. "You see, it's not so bad that Glee is ending… Pretty soon, you'll have all your evenings free for dates with your man!"
"I guess…" She shrugs, before going quiet.
"What's wrong? Don't tell me you're still upset about the end of the show?" I ask.
"No… I mean, it will be hard to say goodbye, but I have accepted it's ending. It's just that… um… can I talk to you in private?" She suddenly whispers, glancing around to make sure no one overhears her.
"Uh, sure…" I say, leading her to an empty meeting room.
"What's up?" I ask, once we sit down.
"I just… I was wondering… I mean… uh…" She trails off, unable to make a full sentence.
"Oh my God, Fabray…" I frown, surprised by her stuttering. "Just say it already!"
"Right… I guess I was just wondering… um… how did you know you were ready to… have kids…" She eventually says in a shy voice.
"Oh…" I say, realizing how serious the conversation just got.
"You see, I used to tell Puck we should wait because I was too busy with work, and he was always on missions anyway… But now that the show is ending and that Puck has changed jobs, I don't have any more excuses…" She shrugs.
"If I may… what's holding you back exactly?" I ask, but she stays silent for a while.
"I don't know, what if I'm a bad mom…?" She eventually whispers, looking down at her hands.
"Quinn, you know that's crazy! You're going to be a great mom!"
"How do you know?"
"Because you're responsible, strong, dependable… and you care! Whenever Britt and I come to you for help, you always have good advice." I say. "And I know you'll be a wonderful mom because I see how great you are with my kids! They love you so much… You should see how excited they get whenever we tell them you're coming over!"
"That's because your kids are angels."
"Okay, they're great and I love them, but they're not angels." I correct her. "Sofia is pretty stubborn and even rebellious, Diego is a little rascal that spends his time hiding my stuff, and Gabriel can cry for hours when I'm not around…"
"That's nothing! They're still angels most of the time."
"Well, maybe your kid will be an angel most of the time too."
"My kid will be half Puck! There's no way they're going to be an angel." She argues.
"They will also be half you."
"So, half Puck and half the girl that got pregnant at 16. Great!" She says sarcastically.
"Why are you so hard on yourself?" I question. "Yeah, having unprotected sex with Puckerman in high school was not your best decision. But you're a grown woman now, and you're wiser. And something good still came out of what happened: you gave birth to a little girl who – from what I hear – turned out to be pretty great."
"The only reason she's a good kid is because Shelby raised her."
"I know that the child you will raise will be great too! You just have to trust yourself, Q." I say, but she remains silent.
"And to answer your question, I was never 'ready' to have kids." I add. "No matter how many times Brittany and I talked about it, it always felt like this huge, scary, life-changing decision." I say. "But then, I figured that it would always be scary, because it is! Just like I realized there would never be a 'right time' either. Just like you, I kept finding excuses: wait until we're older, until we have a house, until I'm done with my artistic projects… But the truth is, you will never be fully ready! And there will always be something you can hide behind to postpone it. But if you really want to have a child, at some point, you just have to go for it." I shrug.
"And trust me, it's worth it! I can't imagine my life without my kids now." I say, squeezing her hand as she nods quietly. "Ultimately, it's your decision, but believe me when I say this: you have everything it takes to be a good mom."
"Thanks…" She eventually whispers, giving me a timid smile. "I'll think about it."
"Good." I say, giving her hand another squeeze. "Come on now, get out of here! Go have fun with your husband."
"Alright… But what are you going to do for tonight?"
"It's okay, I'll stay here." I nod.
A FEW DAYS LATER – AT HOME – BRITTANY's POV
I'm watching Santana as she reads a story to the baby in Spanish, her hand gently caressing my belly. Even though I don't understand a word she's saying, I can't miss the lasting smile on her pretty face.
"The end." She eventually says in English, but our baby immediately protests with a kick.
"What? You want another story?" She sighs, talking to my bump. "Fine, I guess mama can tell you another one…" She says, checking the time on her watch. "But a quick one, okay?"
"Do you know the story of the empty box?" She asks my belly. "No? Well, the story of the empty box is that there was nothing in it… The end!" She says with a mischievous grin as I shake my head in despair. This story is so short that it's almost cruel, but Santana tells it whenever she wants to get out of story duty.
"Ow!" I let out once the baby kicks me, much harder this time. "This is so unfair! You upset her but she kicks ME!"
"I'm sorry, honey…" She says, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. "But you know, the story of the empty box is a classic! It was about time for her to hear it…"
"Just because your mom traumatized your childhood with that story doesn't mean you have to do the same to all our kids!" I argue.
"I disagree." She says. "It teaches them that when story time is over, it's over."
"Oh yeah? Well, I don't need her kicking me more than she already does. So, if you dare tell her that story again before I give birth, I'll make sure to teach you that sexy time is over. Got it?"
"Fine…" She sighs, pouting. "Boy, you're strict…"
A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER (EARLY MORNING) – AT HOME
I'm in a deep, comfortable sleep when our alarm clock eventually rings.
"Oh God, I'm so exhausted…" Santana yawns, slamming the clock off. "How can it already be 6:30 AM…"
"But…" She trails off. "Brittany, it's five-thirty!"
"What?" I say in a sleepy voice, frowning in confusion.
"It's 5:30 AM!" She complains, showing me the clock.
"Oh… I must have set it wrong. I'm so sorry, honey! My pregnant brain doesn't know what it's doing these days…" I apologize. "Here, give it to me… I'll reset it for 6:30, so you can sleep for another hour."
"There's no way that's happening! You know that once I'm awake, I can't fall back asleep." She grumbles, covering her eyes with her hands. "God…"
Santana is already not a morning person, but now that I've cut her sleep short, I know she'll be even grumpier.
"Well… If you can't sleep, there are plenty of other things we could do in one hour, you know…" I suggest to cheer her up, kissing softly along her neck.
"Wait, what…? Are you serious?" She asks, looking into my eyes.
"I am…" I nod, placing a quick kiss on her lips. "If you're up for it too…"
She stares at me for a moment, as if she was making sure I'm really serious, before pulling me into a kiss.
LATER THAT MORNING – AT HOME – SANTANA's POV
"Good morning, mija!" I smile, kissing the top of Sofia's head while she eats her breakfast. "Hi boys!" I say, giving them big kisses too as Brittany leaves the room.
"What?" I ask as I see Sofia frown at me.
"You're being weird!" She complains, pouting.
I turn to the boys as if that was crazy, but they are also looking at me like something is off. What the hell?
"Weird?" I repeat. "Why do you think that?"
"Because normally, you give us a kiss and then, you're grumpy because it's too early." She argues. "At least until your drink coffee." She adds, mimicking disgust.
Right, I forgot that my little girl hates the smell of coffee.
"Well, today, I'm in a good mood." I shrug.
"Why? Did you already have coffee?" She asks, curious.
"Oh, I got something way better!" I reply without thinking, the words slipping out in spite of myself.
Oh, God… Why did I just say that?! Knowing Sofia, she's definitely going to ask what it was, and there is no way I can say I just had sex with her mom.
"Really? What did you get?" She asks enthusiastically.
"Um… uh…" I stammer, glancing between my children. "I got… I got a… a muffin."
"Chocolate?" She asks, her mouth opening in excitement.
"Um… more like… vanilla." I eventually reply.
"Was it good?" She asks.
"Oh… the best I've ever had!"
"Can I have one too?" She asks.
"Um… I um… I'm sorry, mija. Mommy gave me the last one she had…" I say, and fortunately, she returns to her breakfast without questioning it further. Thank God, she's still at an age where she doesn't catch double meanings… But given how smart she is, I better be careful…
A FEW DAYS LATER (APRIL) – 11:50 PM – IN THE LIVING ROOM
At midnight, the first half of the new season of Glee will be available on Netflix and I want to see it appear online. Normally, I would be waiting for this moment at the pub, with Quinn, Artie and Naya. But Brittany has been very tired these past few days, and I didn't want to leave her alone with three kids.
I keep checking the time on my laptop, but minutes pass so slowly! To distract my mind, I decide to go through Abuela's texts from today, even though they only make me more desperate.
FROM "ABUELA": Fernanda?
FROM "ABUELA": I like Chavela
FROM "ABUELA": What do you think of Guadalupe?
FROM "ABUELA": Or maybe Quitera?
"Hey…" I suddenly hear behind me.
"Britt… what are you doing here?" I ask as she sits next to me on the couch. "You should be sleeping, honey."
"I did sleep… but I set my alarm so I could be with you when Glee is uploaded to Netflix, and do this…" She says, cupping my cheek to give me a tender kiss. "For good luck."
"God, you're perfect…" I shake my head in disbelief, grabbing her hand to kiss the back of it.
"Are you nervous?" She asks, resting her head on my shoulder while I hit the refresh button.
"I am, but a little less since you're here…" I admit, which makes her smile.
"Oh, it's midnight!" I add, refreshing once more.
"There it is…" She says, squeezing my hand in hers. "How many episodes are there?"
"Ten." I reply. "We'll upload the other 10 in about a month."
It's crazy to think that the next time new episodes are uploaded will also be the last…
"How about we go to bed and watch the first episode together?" She suggests.
"Are you sure? You really should rest, honey…"
"I want to watch it." She shrugs. "Besides, you know I sleep much better when you're in bed with me…"
"Alright…" I smile, caressing her cheek. "Let's go to bed."
ONE WEEK LATER – ON THE SET OF A TALK SHOW
"It will be your turn in one minute, Ms. Lopez-Pierce." The assistant warns me backstage as I wait for the host to announce my name.
"Thank you." I nod, taking a long inhale and closing my eyes. Even though I have done this a thousand times, I still get nervous when I have to speak in public.
"Please give a warm welcome to Santana Lopez-Piiiieeeerceee!" The host shouts as I walk onto set, greeted by enthusiastic applause.
"Welcome, Santana! We're so thrilled to have you!" He says while I take a seat.
"Thank you, it's great to be here!" I smile.
"Obviously, you're here to talk about the new season of Glee." The host says while I nod in confirmation. "The first 10 episodes have been on Netflix since last week, and it's already a huge success! It's all everyone is talking about on social media, some even saying it's the best season! But before we dive into that, I would love to go back to the beginning. What brought you to create this show in the first place?"
"Oh, well, you know… After I graduated in screenwriting, I knew I wanted to write for TV, but I didn't know anyone in the industry. So, I started by listing the themes I wanted to explore, and inspiration really struck when I was pregnant with my daughter." I recall. "As soon as I knew I was about to become a mom, I began thinking about the values I wanted to teach her. And I realized that while many of those values came from my family, I learned just as many in Glee club… like tolerance, acceptance, and teamwork. These were things I really wanted to pass on not only to my own child, but to all kids out there."
"And it was very important for me to show younger generations that no matter the struggles they face as teens, there is a way forward." I explain. "You see, I personally struggled a lot in high school… I didn't understand the feelings I had for my best friend, and it took me a long time to accept my sexuality." I admit. "With Glee, I wanted to show that even though it seemed impossible back then, I eventually got the life I wanted. Today, I am married to the woman I love, we have kids, and whether its music or TV scripts, I get to write for a living." I shrug.
"That's indeed a powerful message of hope." The host nods. "And honestly, that's what I love the most about Glee… It's uplifting! Not just because of the music, but because it shows that you can find friends in the most unexpected people, and that things will eventually get better." He says while I nod in agreement.
"The show has been extremely popular worldwide." He adds. "As I said earlier, it's all over social media, the ratings keep rising, and you even won two Golden Globes this year… So, I think we all have the same question, Santana… Why stop after this season when it's doing so well?"
"There are different reasons that led me to make this difficult decision." I reply. "First, I believe we've covered all the topics I wanted to explore, and I don't want to make the show repetitive or prolong it at the expense of quality. We were already extremely lucky to make it to six seasons, which is more than I ever imagined!" I confess. "But I also knew I didn't want to go past a certain point in my character's life. I wanted to stop before she had kids."
"Why?" He asks.
"Well, as you know, the show is based on my own life and the lives of my friends. So, there are real people behind these characters… What you see on screen are situations they actually went through, some of them being incredibly personal, whether it's about sexuality, teen pregnancy, or grief…" I explain. "My friends trusted me to share their stories because they knew they would resonate with many young people." I say, pausing for a moment. "But now, several of us have children, which means that if I were to continue the show beyond season 6, I would have to include our kids in the scenes, and that's where I draw the line. They are too young to understand what it would mean to have their stories told on TV, and it wouldn't be right to make that decision for them."
"I understand…" He nods. "So, does that mean there won't be any 'Brittana' spin-off either?"
"I'm sorry, but no." I shake my head. "Maybe one day we'll do a special episode, but there won't be another series."
"Well, at least we've got 10 more episodes coming in May!" He says. "Any chance you could give us a scoop?"
"I don't want to give too much away, but I can say that each character will find closure, and the show will hint at what their future holds."
"One last question before we wrap up: what's next for you?"
"Well, we still have to shoot the series finale, which is obviously going to be very emotional..." I say. "And since the Golden Globes, I think it's no secret that my wife is pregnant, so… after Glee, I'm planning to take a long break." I confess. "I haven't taken much time off in the past 6 or 7 years, so I'm really looking forward to being a full-time mom and wife for a while. After that, who knows? Maybe I'll focus on music or come back with another TV show…"
A FEW DAYS LATER (EARLY MORNING) – AT PARAMOUNT
The sun has barely risen when Quinn, Artie and I arrive at Paramount, long before everyone else. Lining up together in front of the main entrance, we hold hands for a while, without exchanging a word.
Today, we're shooting the very last scene of Glee, and I already feel like my heart is lodged in my throat. I really have no idea how I'll make it through the day… Even though I know it's the right time to end the show, it's been such a big part of my life that saying goodbye feels impossible…
Fortunately, we'll have a wrap party later today to give the show a proper send-off, with everyone who has ever been part of the Glee family.
LATER THAT MORNING – AT PARAMOUNT
When I arrive on set, Darlene is making the final touch-ups on Naya's hair and I immediately stop in my tracks, completely captivated by her appearance. Since the storyline reached the point where I was pregnant with Sofia, Naya is wearing a pregnancy prosthetic under her clothes, and she looks exactly like I did back then.
If this brings back beautiful memories, I realize it's also very special to have my character pregnant on the show at the same time I'm about to welcome baby number 4 in real life…
"Lopez!" Naya smiles as soon as she spots me.
"Rivera…" I say, pulling her into a hug. "Look at you… you're absolutely beautiful! Pregnancy suits you, you know…"
"Right?" She nods enthusiastically in agreement. "Honestly, I look so good that I'm even considering making a baby of my own now…"
"Well, you would make a great mom!" I smile.
"Ah, if I'm half as good as you, my kid will be really lucky!" She smiles back.
LATER – ON SET
"CUT!" I shout.
"That was great, Matthew!" I smile at the actor.
Normally, I only direct Brittana scenes and leave the rest to Artie, but we agreed long ago that I would be fully in charge of the series finale. So, I wrote the script alone, selected all the songs, supervised the rehearsals with the cast… And just as I have over the past few days, I'm directing today's shoot, even if Quinn, Artie, and even Brittany are also present.
"Tony, we're good with Matthew's shots, so now we're going to redo the scene and only film Naya, okay?" I instruct and the cameraman nods. "But before that, I need a close-up of the pilot script in her hands."
"Holy shit, this is not a copy…" Naya suddenly says, looking at the script in her hands. "You gave me the original pilot script?" She asks, turning to me in shock.
"Yes." I confirm. "It's the first ever printed script, the one I brought to Mr. Schue back in the day."
"Wow… You know, if you auctioned this, you could make a lot of money!"
"I guess so…" I laugh. "But this is priceless, so it's going back home with me."
After the close-up shot of the script, Naya gets to her mark, ready to film what is the very last scene of Glee… And I just know she's going to nail it in one take.
"Aaaand ACTION!" I shout.
"And now, look at me…" Naya tells Matthew, just like I told Mr. Schue years ago. "I write, I sing, I have made friends for life in Glee club… And I'm married to Brittany, with a baby on the way…" She says as if she couldn't believe it, placing her hand on her fake baby bump. "None of this would have happened if it was not for you, Mr. Schue. Glee club changed my life, and I will forever be grateful to you…" She adds, bringing tears to my eyes.
"CUT!" I eventually shout, swallowing hard.
Everyone immediately turns to me with anticipation, but I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath.
"And that's a wrap…" I eventually say, my voice cracking with emotion.
God, I can't believe that this time, it really is the end…
They all seem stunned and the heavy silence around me quickly feels suffocating. Fortunately, Monica is the first to clap her hands, and soon, the entire crew joins in.
A LITTLE WHILE LATER – ON SET
"You okay?" Brittany asks me, gently placing her hand on my back while countless people hug each other nearby.
"Yeah…" I whisper in a sad tone as I look around. I'm going to miss these guys so much…
"I know it's hard…" She says, wiping the silent tears rolling down my cheeks. "But it's going to be okay…" She adds in a reassuring voice, pressing her lips to mine for a comforting kiss.
"I'm going to go pick up the kids and bring them back here with me, okay?" She says. "I'm sure they'll cheer you up."
A WHILE LATER – IN SANTANA's OFFICE
"Hey, San… May I come in?" Quinn asks, knocking on my open door after I've isolated myself for a moment.
"Yeah, of course… What's up?" I reply as she's about to sit on the couch, but she suddenly stands back up in one quick motion.
"Has Brittany been in your office today?" She asks.
"No… why?" I frown in confusion.
"Just to be sure you didn't do dirty things on this couch again…" She says while I roll my eyes.
"She's 8 months pregnant!" I say, offended.
"Like that would stop any of you…"
"I'm sorry, did you want something?" I ask, annoyed.
"No, I just wanted to stay here with you for a minute. Is that okay?"
"Fine, but no more comment about my sex life." I warn, pointing my finger at her.
"I promise." She chuckles. "Well, at least for today." She adds as I shake my head.
We sit in silence for a while, until I eventually feel her eyes on me.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing…" She says with an apologetic shrug, as if that was stupid. "It's just that… these past six years have been so…" She trails off, getting emotional.
"I know…" I nod in understanding.
"And I… I just…" She stutters, eventually resigning herself to succumbing to her emotions.
"I will miss working with you too, Fabray." I squeeze her hand, guessing what she didn't manage to say out loud.
LATER THAT DAY (EARLY EVENING) – AT PARAMOUNT
Guests have gradually arrived at Paramount for our wrap party, and the room is now filled with people seated in small groups around the many tables. I'm lucky to have Brittany and the entire Glee club at mine – even Rachel, Kurt and Blaine who traveled all the way from New York.
"Excuse me… May I have your attention, please?" I interrupt the buzz of the room, tapping my glass with a knife until they fall silent.
"Hi everyone… You all know I don't like speaking in public, but I don't think I can avoid making a speech tonight, so…" I pause, coughing to clear my voice. "First of all, I want to thank you all for being here and joining me in celebrating the final chapter of this beautiful story! It really means a lot…" I nod.
"I'm not going to lie: this week has been very tough on me… Even though I knew it was time, a part of me didn't want the show to end, because it also meant saying goodbye to the amazing people I've worked with over these past few years…" I admit in a cracking voice, while Brittany discreetly rubs my back.
"The idea of a Glee TV show snuck into my mind one day out of nowhere, and mainly started as a simple collection of memories from my high school Glee club. I eventually wrote a pilot script, with the hopeful dream that it might be picked up someday. It was really a crazy idea, considering that I had no experience in the TV industry whatsoever!" I chuckle. "My project was actually rejected a few times… until Fox Television decided to take a chance on me. And I really would like to thank Terry Fisher who kindly accepted to join us tonight on behalf of the Fox Board." I say, nodding gratefully at him while the room claps. "But this project would have never come to life without each and every one of you…" I add, looking around the room.
"Tonight, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to everyone that has been part of this show… So, here comes my never-ending list…" I say, making them laugh. "I want to thank all the 'image and sound guys' as I usually call them, the recording studio crew, Zach and his team for his amazing choreographies, the costume department, the hair and makeup section… and every member of our production team, without forgetting our Queens, Lucy and Monica, for their precious advice." I add as applause fills the room.
"I think you also know that Glee could have ended after only three seasons, if it had not been for Patricia Miller – who decided to trust me even though I cornered her in the ladies' bathroom…" I say, making them burst into laughter. "I'm also very grateful to our investors, some of whom have financed the show for years, like Julia Peterson." I add, glancing at the actress seated at a nearby table.
"But above it all, I want to thank my long-time friends, Quinn and Artie, who not only devoted themselves to the show, but also proved that I could trust them with my life. I'm particularly grateful to them for stepping in whenever needed, allowing me to be home with my family at a decent hour." I nod at them, feeling emotions building up in my chest.
"And since we're talking about Quinn and Artie, now is a good time to pay tribute to the rest of my Glee friends, who have honored me by being here today." I say, looking at the faces around my table. "I can never thank you all enough for trusting me to tell your real-life stories and share your secrets. You are the real heroes of this show, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life… And now, through your characters, there are millions of people who love you too." I say, unable to hold back my tears.
"As you can see, we've kept an empty seat at our table, just like we do at all our Glee reunions, for Finn Hudson. Because he will always be part of our group, and I'm so glad that our memories of him will live on forever on screen." I add, looking up to the ceiling while Rachel squeezes my arm. It takes me a few seconds to gather my emotions and feel ready to continue my speech.
"One thing you may not know about me is that I was extremely stressed when we launched the casting process. I wanted to find the right actors who not only resembled my friends, but also did them justice by bringing their true personalities to the screen. And I will forever be grateful to our wonderful actors and actresses… You all have played such a major role in giving the show the worldwide recognition it has today." I add, locking teary eyes with Naya.
"I was hoping I could make it through the speech without crying… but since I've already failed, let me just finish up quickly before I'm unable to speak." I say as they chuckle. "It's so special to have my kids here with me today, because they have always been my greatest source of inspiration! They're the very reason I wanted to share the values and the legacy of my Glee club with the entire world." I smile, my gaze drifting over to the kids' table.
"And before I conclude, there is one more person I would like to thank… and that's my beautiful wife…" I say, turning to Britt, who has tears in her eyes, just like me. "Brittany, I wouldn't have been able to do any of this without you. You have supported me through it all, in both the good and the bad moments, even when I was ready to throw in the towel. You listened to my doubts, comforted me, gave me the wisest advice… and you were always the first one to be proud of my successes. I love you so much…" I say, while she squeezes my hand even tighter.
"So now, before I crumble into a ball in a corner, let's eat and drink!" I add, raising my glass of champagne, before sitting down as everyone applauds.
"I love you…" Brittany whispers, cupping my cheek to press her lips against mine.
LATER THAT NIGHT – AT PARAMOUNT – BRITTANY's POV
"Excuse me, Santana…" Julia says, suddenly interrupting our conversation. It figures she would use the party as an opportunity to chat with Santana…
"I just wanted to congratulate you on this massive achievement and to thank you for your kind words in your speech. It means a lot…" She says, taking Santana's hands in hers. I already don't like that, but I'm pretty sure that if I was not here, Julia would be pulling her into a tight hug.
"Of course." Santana nods. "I'm really grateful for all your support, Julia. And I know that Quinn and Artie are too. You've always been here for us, and not just financially!"
"My pleasure…" Julia whispers, clearly touched. "This is a wonderful wrap party!" She smiles, scanning the room.
"Well, we had to celebrate this in style!" Santana says.
"That's true." Julia nods. "Oh, by the way, who was the woman who made that speech about powerful storylines?"
"Ah, that would be Monica, our adviser." Santana replies.
"Oh, okay…" Julia says, pausing for a moment. "Is she single?" She eventually asks, catching us both off guard.
"Um… I think so…" Santana says, frowning in confusion. "But I um… I don't even know if she's gay…"
"Oh, that doesn't matter." Julia replies confidently.
Yeah, I bet she's turned a "straight" woman before…
"I can introduce you if you'd like." I turn to Julia, jumping at the opportunity.
"Would you?" She asks, her eyes lighting up.
"Of course!" I nod enthusiastically, happy to steer her interest towards someone other than my woman.
"Come on, follow me." I say, leading the way.
AN HOUR LATER – AT PARAMOUNT – SANTANA's POV
"Hey!" I smile as I run into Brittany in the hall, catching her on her way back from the bathroom.
"Wait… If I'm here, and you're here, who's watching the kids?!" She asks, suddenly panicking.
"Relax, they're fine! They're with Mike and Tina. Besides, Tracy is there too, and she's paid to keep an eye on them, so…"
"Oh, thank God…" She exhales in relief, placing her hand on her chest to calm her racing heart. "Maybe I should bring them back home, though. I know it's a special day but it's really late… And honestly, I'm getting tired… This baby of yours is draining all my energy!" She says, resting her hand on her belly. "You won't be mad at me if I leave soon, will you?"
"Of course not, honey!"
"Okay, then… But before I leave, there's one thing I need to tell you…" She says, pulling me by the hand.
"Where are we going?" I ask, surprised.
"Here will do." She stops, pulling me into an empty room while I look at her in confusion.
"I just wanted to say this…" She trails off, before capturing my lips in a passionate kiss.
God, I love when she surprises me like this… I could even stay here and spend the whole evening doing just that… But I know she's too tired.
Unfortunately, she pulls away after a minute, but I'm left face to face with my favorite sight: her heartwarming smile.
MUCH LATER THAT NIGHT – AT THE PUB NEARBY PARAMOUNT
"And then, they were two…" Naya says as we're left alone after the last cast members just went home.
"How drunk are you?" I ask.
"Drunk enough to wonder if I'm really talking to you right now or if I'm talking to myself in the mirror." She replies, making me burst into laughter.
Since we shot scenes earlier today, she's still wearing her hair and makeup "Santana style", looking even more like me than she usually does.
"Don't worry, you're really talking to me." I chuckle, struggling to articulate.
"But that's exactly what the mirror would say!" She argues, making me laugh again.
"And you, how drunk are you?" She asks.
"I can't feel my legs anymore, and I'm seeing you double." I reply. "Does that answer your question?"
"It does…" She chuckles.
We both take another sip from our last drinks, settling into a comfortable silence before she speaks again.
"I know we already said a million times that we'll continue to hang out together, but I'm really going to miss working with you, Lopez." She says, locking eyes with me.
"Oh, no, you're not going to get all sentimental on me, are you?"
"Well, if not now, then when?" She shrugs. "You know, Glee was not just the first long-term role I ever landed, it was also the first time I got along with absolutely everyone on set. It was like home…" She admits in a whisper while I nod in understanding, her words resonating with me more than she knows. I'm aware I was blessed to work alongside so many friends.
"Who knows, you might be lucky on your next show too." I say, trying to cheer her up. "Especially since it's a comedy."
"Maybe…" She nods. "But it won't be the same, because there is only one Santana Lopez…"
"And there is only one Naya Rivera…" I argue, squeezing her hand as she gives me a small smile.
"Tell you what… Let's make a deal right now." I say. "Someday, we'll work together again. On set, or to do music."
"Deal." She smiles wide, shaking my hand.
SEVERAL DAYS LATER (MAY) – AT HOME
"I'm so glad you're here…" I smile at Melissa as we sit side by side on the couch.
"Me too!" She smiles back. "It's been too long since I was last here… How are you? Not too sad now that Glee ended?"
"The first few days were weird, I must say…" I admit. "I would wake up not knowing what I would do all day. But it turns out that there is a lot to do: taking care of the kids and Brittany, preparing the room for our baby, cooking for everybody, playing music…"
"I'm glad you keep yourself busy! How's Brittany by the way?"
"Well, she's okay, but she is not sleeping well lately… She's carrying a little kicker who is very active at night…"
"A true mini-Lopez…" She laughs.
"Tell me about it…" I sigh. "Anyway, she should be back with the kids in half an hour, so you'll get to see them all in their full glory soon."
"I can't wait!" She smiles.
"But what's up with you?" I ask. "Everything okay in Lima? And how are things with this Logan guy?"
"Oh, everything is fine in Lima! I finally got my tenure at McKinley." She says. "And things are great with Logan!" She adds, unable to hold back her smile.
"Uh oh…" I grin. "Great, huh? Someone looks in love…"
"Maybe…" She shrugs, a suspicious smirk on her face.
"Well, then I must meet him next time we're in Lima. I have to make sure that he's good enough for my girl!" I say, pointing my index finger at her.
"Oh, God… Why do I feel you're going to be even more protective than my brother?" She sighs.
"Damn right! And I'll make sure Logan knows that if he dares break your heart, I'll break his nuts."
"Don't scare him away though… I actually like this one."
"Well, if he keeps you happy, he won't have any reason to be scared." I argue, quickly checking my phone after hearing it beep.
"Oh, for fuck's sake… She's kidding, right?" I say, looking up at Melissa.
"Let me guess… Is it Abuela sending you more baby names?" She chuckles.
"I swear, they're getting worse and worse! Hear this: Bernarda, Ruperta, what the… Fulgencia?!" I read out in disbelief while Mel bursts into laughter. "Segismunda?! Okay, I'm so going to block her number if she continues!"
"Do you have a name for your baby girl, actually?" She asks.
"Possibly…" I say with a mischievous smile. "There is this one name that Britt and I both love, but we're waiting until the birth, to see if it suits our little one."
A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER – AT HOME
"You know, it's not because I have to do this that you have to do it too…" I tell Melissa as she helps me plant vegetables in the garden.
"Well, I don't mind… It's good weather and it gives me a chance to chat with you." She smiles.
"You could still chat with me and enjoy the weather if you were sunbathing on the pool deckchair." I argue. "You're a guest after all, you shouldn't have to join me in this torture."
"Wow, you really must hate gardening." She laughs.
"Oh God, I do. I hate it so much!"
"Why do you do it then?"
"Because Brittany is obsessed with growing our own fresh vegetables, and she's too pregnant to plant them… And I…" I trail off, sighing. "Oh fuck it, who am I kidding anyway? The truth is that I'm so in love with my wife that I would do anything to please her! There, I said it!"
"Aw… That lovesick side of you is really cute, I must say."
"It's not funny! I think Brittany might have bewitched me…" I sigh again, shaking my head.
"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. As long as you're happy!" She shrugs.
"I am… I'm so happy that I'm not even sure if that's normal…" I admit. "And I –" I trail off when my phone beeps again, removing my gloves to check it.
FROM "ABUELA": Perhaps you would consider Marta? Or Dorotea? And if you want an original name, I just read an article written by a certain Gumersinda."
"Oh my God, I swear I'm this close to flying to Lima just to rip her damn phone out of her hands!"
A FEW DAYS LATER (EARLY EVENING) – AT HOME – BRITTANY's POV
Santana and I are watching a TV singing competition with Mel, and I feel so deeply relaxed tonight. I love that Santana is running her fingers around the collar of my shirt while we cuddle on the couch. It's something she started to do in high school when we were not even dating yet, and it has become so automatic by now that I don't even think she realizes she's doing it. But it feels so nice that I'm secretly hoping she won't stop…
"Oh my God, she sucks so bad!" Santana suddenly laughs while listening to one of the contestants.
"I'm glad you think so too, she's terrible!" Mel adds, chuckling.
"Be nice, guys…" I plead.
"Come on, Britt…" Santana says. "You can't possibly think she's good? She's like a mix of Gay Berry when she tries too hard and a cat in heat! Even Penny is complaining!" She adds, pointing at the dog who is crying.
"Okay, she's not 'good-good'…" I say, using air quotes. "…but at least, she's trying and doing the best she can."
"Oh, honey, you're too pure for this world…" Santana smiles, cupping my cheek to give me a tender kiss.
"Ow!" I let out, suddenly feeling a very strong kick from our daughter.
"Oh my God, even I felt it!" Santana says, opening her mouth in surprise. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah… I'm okay…" I nod. "But she's getting a lot stronger!"
"Well, you're almost full-term, so… she's definitely stronger." She says, rubbing her thumb on the back of my hand.
"And if she takes after San, she might be a turbulent one…" Melissa teases her best friend.
"No, no, no… She'll take after her mommy. Okay, baby?" Santana says, gently caressing my belly.
A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER (AFTERNOON) – AT HOME – SANTANA's POV
"Guys, I need your attention for two minutes…" I say, clinking a knife against my glass of champagne to make the room go silent. "As you know, I invited you all here so that we could watch the final episode of Glee together. So, I really hope you didn't betray me and already watched it on your own!"
"We would never!" Quinn frowns while holding Diego on her lap.
"Wait, how come you didn't see it?" Mercedes asks Quinn. "Didn't you use to work on that show?!"
"She didn't see it because I wrote the episode by myself, and edited it alone with our technicians." I explained. "Quinn was on set with me only for some scenes, and Artie for others. So, none of them has seen the whole thing. And that's the same for Naya, because she only knows the scenes she filmed."
"I didn't even get the whole script." Naya says while Sofia plays with her hair. "Only my own scenes."
"But surely Brittany has seen it?" Sam asks.
"I didn't, actually." My blonde replies. "Just like you guys, I watched all the other episodes of the season, but I saved the series finale for today."
"Seriously, you didn't even show it to your wife?" Puck asks in disbelief.
"No." I confirm. "Look, it's simple: none of you has seen it. And needless to say, that makes me nervous as –"
"San…" Brittany is quick to interrupt me so I wouldn't swear in front of the kids.
"Right…" I say in an apologetic tone. "Anyway, Rachel and the guys in New York are just about to discover the episode at the same time as us, and our families in Lima too. So, can I start the episode or do you want to chit-chat forever?" I ask impatiently.
"Bring it on!" Tina says enthusiastically. "But maybe you want your boy back first?" She asks, passing Gabriel to me.
"Yep, now we're ready to watch." I say, taking a seat next to my Brittany, with our son on my lap. "Here we go…" I add, hitting play.
A WHILE LATER
The final episode wraps up with a close-up of the pilot script titled "Glee", then fades to a black screen displaying a few words in white.
"Santana Lopez-Pierce successfully brought Glee to the screen, and the show aired for six seasons, gaining worldwide popularity. She still lives in Los Angeles, with Brittany and their children."
More sentences follow, explaining what each of the Gleeks has been up to since that moment in time, until the final words eventually appear on screen.
"They are all still very close friends."
As the screen fades back to black, I turn to my friends and notice a few of them wiping tears from their cheeks.
"So…?" I ask timidly after a moment, breaking the heavy silence.
"I loved it…" Brittany says as tears roll down her cheeks. "You're so talented, honey…" She adds, pressing a tender kiss to my lips.
"San, that was the most perfect episode, really…" Quinn says in a cracking voice as Artie nods in agreement.
"Absolutely…" Mike says. "Everything you guys have done on this show is incredible! And it's really precious to know that our memories are captured on film forever…"
"It really is…" Tina agrees. "And just think of the comfort it has brought to so many kids… I'm sure they all found a character they could see themselves in…"
"God, I had no idea this would make me feel so damn nostalgic…" Mercedes admits.
"Same here…" Sam says as we all settle back into another heavy silence, and I start to feel guilty for stirring up these emotions.
"I really looked great pregnant, don't you think?" Naya suddenly says, in an attempt to lighten up the mood, making everyone laugh.
"You did." Brittany nods, chuckling. "Just like San did." She says, bringing my hand to her lips.
"So, how about we celebrate now?" I suggest, hugging my son a little tighter.
"Let's do it!" Sam shouts enthusiastically, and everyone gets up, smiles reappearing all around.
A FEW DAYS LATER – AT HOME
"Q?" I say impatiently as soon as Quinn picks up her phone.
"Hi San! How are you?"
"Hi… You're with your mom, right?" I ask quickly.
"Um, no… She's got the flu, so she decided to postpone her visit. Why?"
"Oh, thank God…" I sigh in relief.
"What?" She says, sounding confused.
"I'm sorry, it sucks that she has the flu, but I'm really happy to hear you're not busy, because Brittany is in labor…"
"Oh!" She says, surprised. "But I thought she was due next week?"
"She was, but… you know, babies don't exactly understand the concept of a due date… And given how fast things are moving compared to last time, I think the little one can't wait to meet us…"
"I see… So, I guess you called to ask if I could take care of your kids while you're at the hospital?"
"Can you?"
"Of course! Should I come to the hospital to pick them up, or will you bring them here?"
"Well, since your house is on our way to the hospital, we'll bring them over. We're already in the car actually, so we'll be there in a few minutes."
"Okay, I'll be waiting for you."
"Thanks, Q! You're a lifesaver!" I say, ending the call.
LATER THAT DAY – AT THE HOSPITAL
"Okay, Brittany… The baby is crowning, so now is the time to really push, okay?" Dr. Montgomery says while an exhausted Brittany looks at me with desperate eyes.
"I know you're tired, but you're doing so great, honey!" I say, pressing my lips to her damp forehead and squeezing her hand. "Just a few more pushes and we'll finally meet our baby girl, okay?"
She nods silently for a brief moment and grids her teeth, a strained grunt escaping her lips as she pushes as hard as she can.
"That's perfect, Brittany." Dr. Montgomery says. "Push just like that again during the next contraction." She instructs, and I look in awe at my brave warrior as she pushes a couple more times.
"Okay, the head and the shoulders are through. She's coming…" The doctor says, gently helping our baby make her way out of her mommy's body.
Brittany collapses back against the pillows as a tiny, high-pitched cry suddenly fills the room. Before I can process what just happened, Dr. Montgomery places our daughter on top of Brittany's belly.
"Congratulations, mommies!" The doctor says. "You have a beautiful, healthy little girl!" She adds and I can't look away from the tiny human right in front of me.
"Hi, baby…" Britt says in an emotional voice, tears filling her eyes. "I can't believe you're finally here!" She sobs, placing the gentlest kiss on her head.
"She looks like you…" She eventually adds with a smile, turning to me.
"Yeah…" I agree in a voice choked with emotion, nodding as tears roll down my cheeks. Even though this is already the fourth time I have become a mom, I still feel overwhelmed by the sudden tidal wave of love that floods through me. I have known this beautiful little girl for barely a minute, but I would die for her.
"It's time to meet your mama now…" Brittany says, placing our baby in my arms.
"Hi, you…" I whisper, kissing my daughter's forehead before taking a closer look at her. "God, she's so perfect…"
"Thank you…" I eventually tell Brittany, resting my forehead against hers.
"I should thank you." Brittany says. "I wouldn't have her if it wasn't for you."
"I wouldn't have her either if it wasn't for you." I argue and she smiles as we both are reminded that we made this baby together.
"I love you…" I whisper, kissing Brittany's lips. "And I love you too…" I tell our baby girl.
EVEN LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
While we wait for Quinn and Puck to bring the kids so they can meet their baby sister, I take my phone, to text the news to our family and the rest of our friends.
GROUP MESSAGE TO "PEOPLE I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT": On this Mother's day, Brittany and I received the most perfect gift from the universe… Our long-awaited baby girl, Elena Lopez-Pierce, was born this afternoon at 5:27 PM. With two boys and two girls, our beautiful family is now complete.
"And a dog." Brittany argues, after taking a look at my draft message.
"Brittany, I love you, but I'm not going to mention the dog in the announcement of my daughter's birth."
"But she's part of the family too!"
"Do you really want to do this now?" I chuckle, giving a tender kiss which is interrupted by someone knocking on the door.
"Hi ladies!" Quinn says as she enters the room, followed by Puck and our kids.
"You're lucky you're saved by the bell…" Brittany whispers to me while I roll my eyes. "Hi, guys!" She adds with her gigantic smile.
If the boys look shy, it's not the case of Sofia who is the first one to get closer. I lift her up so she can take a look at her sister in her mom's arms.
"She's cute!" Sofia says proudly, turning to me with amazed eyes.
"Just as cute as you." I smile.
"What's her name?" Diego eventually asks in Quinn's arms.
"Her name is Elena." I reply with a smile as everyone gasps.
"Does she like dinosaurs?" Gabriel asks, just like he did when we told him he was going to have a little sister.
"Why don't you ask her, bud?" Brittany suggests.
"Elena, do you like dinosaurs?" Gabriel asks his sister in a timid voice, our little girl yawning in response.
"Well, I think we can take that as a yes!" Britt chuckles while Gabriel beams with satisfaction.
"Does she like music?" Diego asks in a similar fashion.
"Why don't you sing her the song you learned last week?" I tell my son. "We'll see if she likes it."
As our boy starts to sing proudly, our little Elena eventually falls into slumber, while I can't help but smile at my beautiful family.
A/N: So, what did you think of this chapter? Any comments about how I handled the wrapping up of the show at Paramount? Are you happy that their little girl is finally here? I hesitated A LOT about the name but when I read the meaning of Elena – shining light, beauty, warmth and strength – it seemed like the right one. Now, I also have to tell you that even if part of me really doesn't want to say goodbye to these characters, the next chapter might be the last one. I'm not sure how I will go about it, there are a few things I want to include that would take place a few months after Elena's birth, but I don't know what else I will write. Perhaps, I will fast forward to a few years later too. If you have any suggestion, now is the time! Thanks for reading my story, and take care!