Chapter 35: Cool Kaiju Battle

Aurum stood tall, towering over a swarm of cool dudes floating and cheering their newly evolved champion. The Dreadnaw, mighty and imposing, scraped the clouds with it's back as turtles rained down praise. Both draw near, battle stances at the ready. The ocean quakes as they come to a halt, waves clashing in the middle of these two titans. The air grew heavy and silent...

-"Well what are you waiting for? Kill the bastard!"

-"DREEEAD!" First to strike, the Dreadnaw launches waves at it's opponent! Not to be outdone, Gyrados drops down it's Aqua Tail upon the Surf, parting the sea for just a moment.

"GYRAAAAAA!" A huge sphere of draconic fire builds within it's maw as Aurum fires out a mighty Dragon Rage! The enemy extends it's neck and Crunches down on the projectile, sending shockwaves and embers throughout the battlefield.

As the two begin their battle in earnest, the two leaders survey the field and ready their own attacks. A Water Gun shoots out, aiming to dislodge Jessie from his perch. This is met with a Bubblebeam, sending scattered water over the field and further empowering the two champion pokemon. Perhaps sensing an opportunity, Jessie takes a tentacle full of ammo from Aurum's store of throwing weapons and begins sending down a hail of spikes with Fling!

-"Crap! Yo big guy, protect me!" The Dreadnaw aims it's attack high, a massive surf carries away the spines, harmlessly. Aurum however, having trained with his leader personally, dives into the wave and attacks at point blank range with an Ice Fang! Unable to dislodge the icy maw, the titan turtle thrashes about, doing everything in it's power to remove this threat.

-"You useless- Do I have to do everything myself?" Wartortle Bites down on Aurum's exposed face, tearing a gash into his hide. He reels back, preparing for his next blow. Dreadnaw however presses the attack, extending it's neck once more and coming down on the serpent with a powerful Crunch of it's own!

The two wrestle for dominance among the churning waves.

-"BAHAHAHA! What a weakling! Don't stop until long after it stops moving! Kill, kill, ki-"

-"DREADNAW!" But the titan lets go immediately! Thrashing and scratching at something unseen, it begins to dive down.

-"No, you idiot! ATTACK! What's the matter with you?"

"You're not very good at double battles, are you?"

-"The hell?!"

Jessie lets loose another volley of Acid right where he was hidden on Dreadnaw's shell. The stinging liquid burns and corrodes where it lands, forcing the poor beast to dive further to try and wash away the burning gunk.

-"No! You're ruining everything!"

"Eight."

-"You're insignificant! Worthless! A worm to be stepped on!"

"Ten."

-"I'll kill you, do you hear me? KILL YOU!"

"Eleven."

-"Alright, what the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, just counting all the overused, bad guy movie tropes you're using. Hey guys, have I missed any?"

-"Oh haha, very funny. Let's see you keep laughing when I-"

-"Goldeen."

"Nice catch! Almost missed that one." Having submerged completely, Dreadnaw withdraws from the battlefield, leaving the army and his leader defenseless. Aurum keeps his crew and the opposing army separated with his massive tail as The Cooler Crew closes in for one final rush.

-"H-hey! You wouldn't do this to me, would you? We're both human! You wouldn't- YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! You can't kill me! You're too goody goody for that, right? You're too-"

-"Pid-gey!" Freed from her cage, Dex lands on her boss's head with a salute.

"Fifteen! Wow, this is getting good. Hey, who wants to bet this guy will break 20 by the time we get back to shore?"

-"You you! You you you you you you you you youyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyou! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A JOKE!" The joke of a turtle lashes out with Rapid Spin, aiming to take down the Tentacool leader. Jessie grabs hold of one of the spikes still jutting out of his shell and holds fast with wrap, slowing down this spinning fool to little more than a child splashing in a kiddie pool.

-"Hey hey hey hey hey, you'll let me go, right? You wanna have a battle? One on one?"
Everyone circles in on the flailing prey.

-"My army will kill all of you! Don't you see how strong we are?"
The Warband is held at bay, tending to their wounded friend and fearful of the newly arisen dragon.

-"I'll get my revenge! All of you! I'll remember your faces!"
Horns, tentacles, and spikes are drawn at the ready, ready to spear this horrible pokemon and end the threat to their homes.

-"But- But I'm human... Pokemon can't kill humans... Humans are supposed to be on top of the food chain... Humans are supposed to look out for each other and catch pokemon... YOU'RE A HUMAN! WHY DON'T YOU ACT LIKE IT?"

"I guess... I should act like a human, every once in a while." The pokemon part, but hold the squirming turtle in place.

-"That's right! Humans are on top! Humans eat pokemon! Humans-"

"Humans catch pokemon."

Wartortle disappears in a flash of red light. *shake* *shake* *shake*

...

*click*

All is silent... The Warband, no, the turtle pokemon, one by one turn from the scene. They expected death. They expected mercy. They expected anything at all, but not that. Their leader, a former human, captured in a pokeball, just like any of them could be. Captured by another former human... A pokemon trainer. The wild pokemon that don't immediately flee stare on in shock and expectation of their new tyrant overlord.

"...So who bet on twenty? I think, 'Ironic downfall' counts as a bad guy trope?"

-"Gyaaa!"

"Okay big guy, okay. I owe you some berries when we get back to camp. Who wants to help me round up this group and get them back to their kids?"

A cheer resounds through the ocean! The day was saved! Their families were safe! The threat of the warband and crazy ex-humans was finally over! And most importantly?

No more babysitting!

"No no NO! The most important thing is I get to go home to see my daughter! DON'T WORRY HONEY, PAPA'S COMING HOME!" Jessie disappears in a plume of ocean spray, quickly tailed by his faithful errand bird, best friend, and... pretty much everyone else who was putting bets on this crazy jellyfish's next set of antics.

And the remnants of The Warband? A smile breaks out among their faces, against their better judgement. Maybe things would be alright living under... living alongside, this new leader?

A lone pokeball floats on the ocean... a shadow looms overhead.

"Oh! Right! Can't have twenty one bad movie tropes! Dex, can you go pick up that ball before it gets lost and he actually does come back for revenge?"

-"Pid-gey!"

Quickly putting an end to that rapidly approaching story line, the ball is snatched up and carted home. This will be the last this B-grade villain ever appears!