This fic brought to you by: 1) Astarion being Astarion, and 2) the beautifully androgynous half-elf male face #5.
The terrible vision strode determinedly along the path toward Astarion.
"No. Please, no," came huffing through his teeth as he sprinted at Tav.
The half-elf was now taller, broader – nearly the size of Halsin, dear gods – with dark stubble like he'd never seen on Their face. Something was different about Their mouth, too. The lips were paler, and held a smile as well as a sieve holds water. A huge hand came up to pat the amulet dangling from Their thickened neck, and the seams and buttons of Their shirt almost gave way under the flexing of overlarge muscles.
"Astarion," They greeted him, in a wretchedly deep reverberation that made his stomach twist with nausea.
Astarion raced up to Them and tore the awful necklace from his Tav. The round amulet pulsed obscenely in his hand, attempting to alter its new bearer, confused to find that its target was already male.
Frantic, Astarion swung the horrid thing by its chain and dashed it against the trunk of a tree. The pendant popped like a rotten grape, exhaling a foul green wisp of magic into the ether. The now-empty chain seemed to writhe, and he dropped it hastily, rubbing his palm to rid himself of its slimy aftertouch.
"Are you all right?" Tav's voice lilted higher on the last two words, up into its usual tenor notes.
Astarion looked at Them wildly. Even as he watched, the excess bulk and height melted away from Tav, leaving behind only Their usual balanced form, elegantly walking the tightrope between male and female.
"Thank the gods," he breathed. "It's not permanent."
Tav smiled. "No, it's not permanent. Just very expensive." They quirked an eyebrow at the shattered pieces of the amulet. "Literally all of my cut from the last few goblin camps went into buying that. You could have at least asked me before you destroyed my property."
"I … I'm sorry." He felt shame and a burning desire to explain himself. "I panicked, seeing you like that. So … changed. It was horrible." He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, that was terribly impulsive of me. I didn't even stop to ask you whether you liked … being that shape."
"I didn't like it, but I didn't mind it, either. It's temporary, so there's no harm done. Same as playing dress-up. Nobody turns pirate forever just from putting on a tricorn hat."
Astarion attempted a joke. "Oh, don't give me any ideas about you in a pirate costume …"
Tav laughed, a full-throated and musical sound, and suddenly Astarion could not bear the distance between them. He embraced Tav tightly, pressing Their form against his own.
After a long moment, Tav hugged him back.
Astarion relaxed so abruptly that the two of them almost toppled over. Tav laughed again, securing him in Their arms so he wouldn't fall. The strong pulse of Their life-force resonated through his forehead and nose bridge where they touched Their neck.
Tav smelled of citrus and rosehips, and gave off heat like a sun-warmed rock.
They stood like that for several minutes – Tav breathing steadily, Astarion mimicking breath so he could draw in more of Their scent along with some of the air They exhaled – before he realized that Tav would surely be expecting a kiss from the man who was nuzzling the underside of Their jaw.
Reluctantly, he drew back a bit and presented his mouth, careful not to make eye contact.
The flat of Tav's hand struck him squarely in the chest and sent him tumbling to the ground.
Astarion's stolen breath left him in a huff when his back hit the hard dirt path. He looked up in astonishment as his palm automatically covered the place where he'd been struck.
Even before he saw the ropes of lemon-colored power winding around Their forearms, the artificial feeling tightening over his skin told Astarion that Tav had cast Protection from Evil and Good on him.
Tav's right hand caught an arrow in mid-flight and flung it back into the darkness with a flaming tail added. He heard a cry of pain from the shadows.
A yellow glow eclipsed Their eyes as Tav spun, Their powerful arms windmilling to gather ki seemingly from the air itself.
Astarion's nostrils flared, bringing him the scents of three strangers in the darkened forest next to the path. Only three? A trio of idiots who'd thought two armorless, weaponless elves would make a good mark for robbery.
Tav didn't need weapons, or armor. In fact, They performed better without them.
Astarion grinned, and lay back on his elbows to watch Tav work.
This was why he couldn't drink Their blood, and why he'd chosen Them for a protector. Why their little group of weirdos was going to grind Cazador into the fucking dirt and take his lunch money.
Tav was a Sun Soul.