It is 4E211. I am now 20 years and I still associate with my orphanage. I am somewhat taller than back then, and I don't look too much older. I have a more youthful complexion, leading people to believe I'm a teenager.

Ever since I was saved by that mysterious hero, my life has been getting better over time. I kept a good head on my shoulders.

Even though my anger stopped after Grelod died, It took me months to fully get out of the trauma stage. I was a very nice kid. I sacrificed my livelihood to save my friends. So it took time for others to see I was never bad. The rumors were exaggerated to paint me as some monster, but I'm not. I still have my Innocence intact. I will never lose that for anyone.

I still work for Constance. She treats me so well. She was there for me when no one else was. She nurtured me. Trusted me. Defended my character Everytime. And she even told me that The Dark Brotherhood doesn't save kids. But rather exploits and manipulates them. It was easy for me to hate them, but it was hard to let go of how cool they seemed. I thought they were heroes! Man, was I way off. I'm glad she woke me up to this. I wouldn't want to be trapped hurting innocent people.

As I continue organizing the books on the bookshelf, Constance comes in and asks if I wanna take a break. I answered with a hard "yes". I have so much on my mind. I wanna write out my life story. Even if it's not heroic enough. I know I played my part. I helped this orphanage return to a more pure state. Constance and I talk about everything from always being a good kid, to how we reshaped this place to be better for kids. I was always gonna deliver on my promise that I will protect the children. As I always will.

Between that and actively advocating for me, Constance and Mjoll have shown they are so compassionate to struggling kids like I once was. I'm still so relieved to know the brotherhood is evil. I would've made a life-ending mistake joining them. Which reminds me, "When is my break. I wanna talk to Mjoll again?" Constance replies with "You did everything today, you may take the rest of the day off if you want." I told her I can help later if she needed me. I run to the door in excitement and jiggle the knob like a madman.

Outside, I look around to see the bare trees and the chill breeze that makes them dance. I quickly take in my surroundings with little thought. I rush to Mjoll's house and pay her a visit. I knock ten times frantically in hopes to see one of my heroes again. She has motivated me to branch out and help more kids. She's one of the only people who never labeled me as "bad". She was on the other end of the rumors. She knew I was fighting for justice, not violence. I slightly hyperventilate, preparing my dialogue for THE Protector.

She opens the door with a surprised look on her face.

"You're off from work, I see. How are you doing young friend?" Mjoll asks in an inviting tone.

I answer back with "Everything is just perfect. The Orphanage is still a safe haven for lost children. And we are gonna host a party tomorrow. Please come Mjoll, please!"

She of course agrees and expresses how thankful that I have inherent morals.

No one taught me to be this good. I had to learn that myself after seeing Grelod mistreat kids.

"You're such a good soul. A true moralist. If you joined the brotherhood, they'd kill you, knowing you aren't loyal to violence." Mjoll states with her protective demeanor.

And she adds "I'm sorry I wasn't able to free you from Grelod. I wanted to help. This city has too many problems. And crossing the brotherhood is a bad idea. I would've saved you if I knew you ran away. I heard about the ritual and thought it was too late to help. I'm sorry buddy."

I assure her that everything is ok. It's not her fault. I also remind her that I was never gonna join the dark brotherhood if I knew how evil they were. I was just a naïve kid. Not some evil mastermind.

Mjoll lets me in her house. And I take in the familiar vibes of the room. She tells me to wait a minute while she fetches something. As I wait, I start thinking about all the times we had at the orphanage, and Constance allowing me to help out. I just feel lucky to be part of an experience that protects the innocent.

Aerin comes in and asks how I've been. I tell him about the orphanage and the celebration I am hosting with Constance. We want to honor innocence and make sure no one suffers like my friends and I did ten years ago.

After a minute of silence, Mjoll comes back with a carefully wrapped box. I rip the wrapping off and notice a two-handed sword with a shiny journal and quill. Plus a bunch of old maps will be interesting to look at. "Thank you so much Mjoll, this is so thoughtful. Thanks!" I exclaimed graciously.

She tells me to stick around for her famous brownies (which I love sooo much). And she wants to train me again as a two-handed warrior. Although I thought assassins were cool, it turns out I'm more like a warrior. I can use bigger weapons a lot easier than knives. I tried swinging it (the knives) around like a cool trick and I dropped it.

I don't know why I looked up to the Dark Brotherhood, I just wanted to be an assassin to save kids. I found out I'm a warrior and I feel like I can valiantly charge through a battle and eliminate evil right now.

Mjoll notices the excitement on my face and says "Don't get too carried away, If you take on too much, you'll be gone. And what innocents can you save when you're not around."

I assure her I'll be careful and would like to be around to accomplish more for the vulnerable.

As her brownies finish cooling off, we take a premature bite and it crumbles just a slight. I still love the texture though. You can't beat Mjoll's Brownies. I ask her if I can have another.

She said "Take three more for now. You don't have to ask. You know that."

I reply with "I know that. I just... don't want to disrespect you and impose on anyone."

She insists that I never impose. I am always welcome. And that I can have as many brownies as I want.

After eating brownies for thirty straight minutes, we rise from our chairs groaning and stretching. Mjoll asks me if I want to spar with her. I gladly accept. I pick up the sword and get a feel for it. I never trained often. I was always at the orphanage, working on making it a better place.

As I carry the sword upright, I make a small gesture signaling the start of the training. When she slowly swings, I get enough time to play the counteract. And I train how to deflect specific blows.

It takes me a little while to start getting the hang of the swing. And as we block each swing, we bond like a true family of warriors. It's wholesome, really. A mother teaching her son to fight. It shows I am respected. I will always value that people want to help me.

As we finish up on the warrior training, we decide to relax and share our plans for Riften. It's so perfect. Mjoll wants to challenge the thieves guild and Maven Black Briar while I continue making the orphanage a better place.

Accomplishing my dream to save children while Mjoll fulfills cleansing Riften. It's a win-win, right? Plus I want to help save the world in anyway I can.

I let Mjoll know I am heading back to work in the Orphanage. I remind her of the celebration tomorrow. As

I head out, she says "Be careful out there, friend."

I tell her I will. And I leave to go up the road to Honorhall. I'm thinking about bringing more food. Just so no one goes without. As I make my way in, I nod to Constance.

She knew I was coming back. I always dedicated my time to helping our orphanage and the cause. As usual, Constance clears the floor, sending the orphans in their beds temporarily while I sweep up. I usually just stay in the zone and sweep. Not minding my surroundings, just introspecting. I move the broom in the direction of the entrance. Constance holds the door open as I sweep the dirt and mud outside.

About 15 minutes into the chore, I am finished. I feel exhausted from running around all day. I ask Constance if I can sit down and take a rest. She allows me to rest for 10 minutes before asking if I wanna just go to sleep. I was drifting off again.

I replied "I am wiped out." I can sleep in the main room with the orphans.

She knows I wouldn't want to be reminded of the ritual and the desperate plea for my safety in Grelod's room. Plus the kiddos tell me funny stories. So it's more homey there. One of these days I have to associate Grelod's room with something positive.

Constance sets up my bed at the end of the room and I set my blankets up. I plop kind of hard on the bed, and internalize again.

I will maintain my innocence by knowing I never actually called an evil assassin for help. I summoned the dragonborn. I am so glad I know this. Thanks to Constance. She told me that The "assassin" wasn't with the brotherhood.

Knowing what I know now, I would've hated myself for trying to join. So no Dark Brotherhood connections.

"Good! I'll take my kindness over your fear, Dark Brotherhood!" I quietly gloated.

Yawn* I enjoy my internal victory as I doze off. Now I'm dreaming. In the dream I awaken from my bed in the orphanage to the smell of smoke and people screaming. When I rushed out, I can see Mjoll a short distance ahead. She signals me to follow her because a dragon has attacked the city.

Then the dream continues with me following Mjoll out of the city. Half way to the gates she decides to stay behind and fight the dragon. I couldn't just continue on while my friend sacrifice herself. I didn't feel capable fighting a dragon at all. But I felt it's the most I can do for Skyrim. Mjoll shouts and urges me to leave.

"This isn't your battle. You can't fight this beast yourself!" She warns.

To say the least, she was right. I attempted to pull out my sword. It wasn't sliding out at all. The dragon quickly noticed this and then grabbed me. As I am forcefully ascended, I feel my body jolt in real life. Then as I was dropped by the dragon in its attempt to kill me, I felt the sensation of falling from my dream.

I just woke up after seven hours of sleep. A little happier than usual. Even though my dream was weird, I still enjoyed the nocturnal adventure. I lay there for ten minutes while I think about things. I feel a deep sense of nostalgia come over me.

I just take it upon myself to leave and walk around. I get bored sometimes and I just need to walk around for a bit. As I stretch my legs, I quickly put on my shoes and walk somewhat fast to the door.

I step outside and am hit with the cool air. Empowering me to walk in stride. I am excited. All I can think about is the gathering today. We will play games, sing songs and live how we should. In pure joy.

Grelod did one thing right. She made me feel more sentimental about my early childhood. I will never abandon myself to sadness. I won't even bother with anything that doesn't make me happy.

I wanna go to the tavern. Hopefully they play my song 'Around The Fire'. It's an all-time classic. It reminds me of simpler days. I walk towards the tavern and think about what I wanna do for the party. As I walk in, I am invited by the sight of people settling and having a good time. It reminds me of the peace I want to bring to others. The tender asked if I wanted a drink. I'm gonna pass.

Looking around feeling cheap and awkward, I walked up to the bard and paid for a request to play my song. I gave 15 gold to play it three times. I wanna enjoy the hearty nostalgia while I'm here. I changed my mind and decided to ask for some mead after all so I can feel a little more at ease.

As I take the sips, I start to feel light and dizzy. My judgement is slightly altered. I feel I can let loose. But I still have my mind. I will never go too far. I like to preserve my image, and I don't want to lose myself at all.

My ears perked up as soon as I heard the first tone. They're playing 'Around The Fire'. I'm thinking about the party. I will bring some extra food as promised. As I take in my song, I reminisce about the good times I had after Grelod was gone. I never lost my Innocence, but I was afraid for a while. It's nice to be a kid again. Even at 20 years old, I still wanna stay true to myself.

I take more sips from my mug. I feel better. I start to get up and walk upstairs just to take a seat with a sight. I look down at the patrons and zone out for a minute. As the bard plays my song two more times, I reflect on the most treasured moments of my life. I am so thankful for my life, even when almost everyone vilified me. Constance protected me from the outside world and defended my name whenever she could.

I am grateful for my journey and where I ended up. I am following my childhood dreams and saving kids. It's too bad the brotherhood is well... bad. But at least Mjoll wants to protect people, and she's training me to help protect the defenseless. I have a better support system just by growing up in an orphanage.

I finish my mug and slap it down on the counter with a smile of gratitude. I wave the barkeep goodbye and walk out just in time to set up the party. I rushed outside to see Constance and the orphans gathered. I get sentimental that my old friends from the orphanage aren't here to see this. They have their own lives I guess. But it's always nice to see the yearly parties the Honorhall holds.

I scan the area and look at the food stall. This reminds me to bring the food I promised. As I tread, the wind blows past the left side of my face. I slowly reach into my pocket for my gold pouch.

I steadily walk up to the vendor and take my time eyeing the pies. "I wanna buy five of your best pies. The sweeter the better." I say with a bit of energy. The vendor gave me five assorted tart pies. I hand her the gold and march off to the orphanage.

I walk up to the food table and with a one-sided smirk I put the pies down carefully. I step back and admire the amount of food we contributed. All for the little ones.

It makes me wonder how people actually feel. I mean Tamriel is a morally gray world, so sometimes nice people can have that one evil opinion. These people gave up on me ten years ago because of the rumors. But they still do care about kids regardless of how it was for me.

Feeling like taking a break. I'm gonna go sit down over there in this chair for a minute. After I sit, I look down to the ground with my hands on my knees. Just thinking about earlier today.

After a couple of minutes Constance notices me sitting alone and she calls out "Hey, Aventus. Don't you wanna join the fun? We are passing out the food soon."

I respond and get up to join the party. I can't wait to pass out the food. Seeing the innocent are fed are a priority and I'll see to it that no one goes hungry.

Mjoll arrives and she comes over to me to say hi and check in on me. I'm all for saving Innocence. She still treats me like a boy, out of care of course. She wants to know if anyone is messing with me. It's really nice actually.

"Ah, this is one of my favorite times of the year. A moment in Riften's history with no corruption. A day where all folks celebrate the welfare of the orphans. This tradition of yours has really helped them." Mjoll says while relaxing on the bench.

She adds "Constance was always smart to trust you, despite those wild rumors. Allowing you to help out and pick the activities for everyone. She made sure your kindness shined. And she's proud of you for all the hard work you put into improving the orphanage. And I am proud too"

I say in a slightly shy voice "Wow. It means everything to hear. Thank you so much. I am glad we are here and this was made possible."

She taps my shoulder and signals me to start helping her pass out food. As the kids line up, their faces light up as they get more than they expected. Mjoll and I are feeling so grateful we get to help people out.

As the music plays in the background, the town seems a lot more lively. It is so nostalgic just to be a part of the joy today. And the sound of filling plates makes everything more fulfilling. We're all doing our thing while eating outside.

I grab a plate and fill up on some meat and pies. I just grab a bit of everything. As I stack the delicious contents on my plate, I hear my stomach start to roar. I have been walking around all morning before the party even started. Then I helped set up. I think I'm due for some food.

When I sit down, the first thing I do is start shoveling the horker pie down first. And I drink juice to wash it down. Mjoll notices me scarfing down my food and doesn't know whether to laugh or be concerned. I'm too into my eating session to know what's going on.

Mjoll approaches. And with a concerned tone in her voice she says to me "Wow! You must be really hungry. Be careful, please. We don't want you to choke."

I replied in a hurried voice with "I'm sorry! I'm just so starved. I usually just stick to an apple with some juice, then go on my walk. I knew I was gonna eat later so I thought I would stay empty so I could enjoy more food at the party."

Barsi-Honeyside walks over to me with a chuckle. "Be careful young man. Savor it. It's some good stuff, I know. But Horker Pie ain't worth your life."

I grinned and expressed "Couldn't help myself. Walking does make one hungry"

Barsi laughs and hands me a wrapped gift box. I looked puzzled but I opened it. He gave me a spiced bottle of mead and a new shirt. I thank him for his kind gesture. Then he pridefully walks away.

I was so confused because it's the orphans' day. I didn't expect to get anything. I grab my bottle and set it out. I'll have a few sips now, just to feel at ease. I never push my limit. I set a moral example for myself and for the children. But I am a responsible adult and I don't mind having a good time.

As I feel a little woozy, I pick up my book and read to pass the time. I am scanning the pages and right now I'm reading the part where the valiant warrior decides to charge fearlessly into battle. This inspired his soldiers to follow him to victory. Of course with some casualties. But hey, the price of freedom isn't always cheap.

I spent an hour looking down and finishing my book. Then I get up to make my short speech about making every lacking child feel like they have a place in the world. Sometimes people can be really evil. So there always needs to be good ones like us to understand and look out for them.

As I start to finish my speech, I look around nervously. I wondered if I came in too strong. Aw I guess it doesn't matter. I said what I needed to and that's that.

Then Constance makes her "Thank you for coming, enjoy your time" speech, she commences the bard to play tunes. And with the music starting, We hand out presents to the children and watch their hopeful faces light up. It's the simple joy of giving. I'm glad I was nurtured after my tragic beginning. I never felt that angry, but I was sad for a while. I just knew I wanted to stay a kid. So I look back and feel the warmth I received.

I get a little sentimental tear. I am glad the orphans are having their time. I just look back and think of how great the orphanage was after Grelod went for her eternal slumber. I hate that I had done all that crazy stuff, but I wasn't gonna take a life myself.

I take a few more sips to honor my kid-self. I am glad I was him. I became the man I am today because of justice and the desire to save the innocent from harm. I am feeling more in a stupor. So I know I'll stop.

My head starts to blush and I am giggling now. I feel like sparring with Mjoll again soon. I wanna make sure if I ever need to defend someone or myself, I can pull it off. I love helping out with the orphanage. I also like knowing I can defend those that can't help themselves. As my mind wanders, I am getting more nostalgic with the games we played at the orphanage. Mjoll would visit and tell us stories of her travels to cheer us up.

With that, I get up with a surge of deep satisfaction. I decide I'm gonna clean the orphanage. I wave to Constance and make a pointing gesture at the door to tell her I'll be cleaning. I make my way inside Honorhall. The first thing I do is walk over to the broom. With a slight wobble I grab it and start pushing the dirt near the door. I spend almost an hour sweeping every room. Then I hold the door open and push the dirt out.

After I decide to organize the books. Moving every book from smallest to largest. And dusting them off when needed. After I meticulously organized the books I take ten to sit down and breathe.

While in my chair, I look around for more to do. I see all the drawings the kids made and the toys on the floor. Every time I'm here I reminisce heavily. I find some tables to organize and spend some more time thinking. After I finish cleaning the orphanage I decide I'll help myself to a bed and rest.

I wake up to the sound of really loud festive music outside and the whole town is cheering and dancing. I wanna be a part of that. So I spring up and lunge at the door. A little fear of missing out comes to me as I swing open the door.

I walk outside and scan my surroundings to find Mjoll or Constance. As I wander around, some guests witness me almost frantically searching for something. So they ask why for. I tell them who I'm looking for. They point in the direction of the fishery. Huh, what brings them there, I wonder.

I decide I'll wait a few minutes to enjoy the party. And I know they'll be back soon. So I join in on the dancing. I do the typical tavern jig. It's the easiest anyway. As I jump and kick each leg I feel energized and happy at first. But a few minutes later I feel like I'm pulling a boulder. My legs are throbbing and my waist aches too. I'm gonna sit for a few minutes to collect myself.

I notice Constance and Mjoll in the distance walking back and chatting with each other. I stand up and walk up to them fast with a limp. I call out to them and they notice my limp and they walk faster while gesturing me to stay where I am.

When they finally reach me, they ask how I'm doing and what have I been doing at the party.

I replied with "I did tomorrow's work today. I cleaned up the orphanage. Plus I went to dance after. That's why I'm limping. But it was FUN!"

"Always the dedicated one. I'm glad you had fun sweetie. You don't have to clean up tomorrow if you don't want to." Constance said

Mjoll adds "And you can take the rest of the week off. You earned it."

I then ask softly "When can we spar again? I wanna fully learn how to defend people against attackers."

"Of Course you can. Anytime you are free you can come to me. We can spar tomorrow since you don't have work." Mjoll suggests with a determined look.

Constance with her polite demeanor nicely saying "You look tired. I won't be offended if you slept the rest of the day. The party will still be here tonight, ok dear."

I told her I'll take a rest soon. I actually had to lay down earlier so I still have energy left. As I walked away I heard Constance and Mjoll talking about me, expressing concern.

Mjoll can be heard saying "Aventus is always working or walking. I'm a little worried he's putting too much on his plate. He should take it down just a notch"

Constance includes "Right?! That man's gonna work himself straight into the ground. I appreciate the dedication but I wonder if he feels like he's not enough. We should talk to him tomorrow and check in with him."

Mjoll ends it with "I couldn't agree with you more."

All this in the forty seconds I stood there facing the other direction. They are concerned. I wanna tell them but they'll think I'm eavesdropping. So I slowly walk away wondering what made them concerned about my habits. I don't do anything bad. But I understand. I could be overdoing things. I just want Honorhall to flourish. They are just concerned for me. I will take the week off and work on a book or something. I like to escape to other worlds not because I'm suffering, but because it's fun. I also imagine myself playing a part in these books. I would like to meet the characters. I know they're not real, or at least not alive anymore.

Maybe I should make up my world. My characters. My story. It'd be super fun. Plus it takes my mind off of world problems. I might do it later. I'm gonna get more food.

I walk up to the table and grab a few more things to bite. And some juice can't go wrong. I grab the plate and the cup and make my way to the table I was sitting at. I settle and I start digging in. Its so good. Who made this. Mmm. Pie of the gods. I continue to eat and sip my juice. I finish a few minutes later with a full belly and extra energy.

As I sit there, I notice a recognizable face. I can't place my finger on it. Oh well. I stare in the other direction. That's when I heard footsteps approaching me. I hear a voice call out my name. I turn around and it's my hero from ten years ago.

Still with my childlike admiration I cried out "By the gods, it's yoooouuuu! Remember when you saved me? That was so cool. But you weren't Dark Brotherhood were you?"

The Dragonborn replies "No I'm not. That's what I was trying to tell you, buddy. They don't care about you. What I did for you was a favor. If you feel responsible for a death, don't. You didn't carry it out, you just asked for help. So you're not a murderer, I assure you that you are far from that. Otherwise you wouldn't need the ritual and you would've done it yourself."

I respond with a sigh of relief "I was told you weren't and I'm glad you're not one of them. They wouldn't care for me. They would exploit and traumatize me further. I'm glad I know. I would regret being a part of something so vile. I wish I could just destroy them. I just... I just... need help. Doing that alone is obviously stupid so I'll just wait or hope for a good army to take them away for good."

The dragonborn and I catch up for a few more minutes before leaving. They told me they just stopped by to check in. They do care about me. Wow! Ten years and they still wondered if I was alright. I'm glad we got to chat. It's nice seeing an old friend. I guess they are busy now. I know I wouldn't be so happy if they told me they were an evil assassin. But Thankfully it's not true. I sit in the same spot for a few more minutes before deciding to stretch my legs and head back to party.

As the sun is setting, the orange and pink becomes more of a dark blue color. I love watching the sky transition. Whether it's Dawn to Day or Evening to Night, I still enjoy watching the scenery change. It is getting colder too. And me being tired only makes things seem chilly.

I'm gonna get my filling of dinner and head inside. I grab a few slices of ham and mashed potatoes with some sauce. I pick up the bottle of juice. It's almost empty so I take the last serving.

I walk carefully to the orphanage without spilling or dropping my food. I walk to the door and try to open the door. I struggle a few times wiggling the knob with my arm, but after some tries I finally make it in. I'm gonna dine on my bed.

With the plate finally set down, I can take a sip of my drink. I sit down and start eating my food. This time I am chomping slowly because I'm a lot more relaxed. I chew and chew until I liquidize my meal. It's so good though.

I wonder why everyone's still outside. It's warmer in here. I guess it's alright. I get a quiet place to think to myself and finish my food in peace. For the few minutes I eat my food, I had no conscious thought other than the what's on my plate. After I finish I just set my place down on the bedside table and relax.

As I feel my eyes slowly close, I am prematurely dreaming. I was still awake but I was not conscious enough to just be thinking. I see myself out in the woods and it's snowy. There is a giant pine tree in the center of the clearing. I walk up to the tree and press my palm onto it. It's whispering something to me. I can't understand what it's saying. Then all of a sudden the tree yelled something I can hear.

All it said was "Behind you!" And I turn to see a giant wolf running towards me. I instinctively tried climbing the tree but there were no reachable branches. So I either stay or run. I didn't have enough time to react so I freeze for two seconds and this titanic beast was inches away from me. I was shaking in the dream but I couldn't wake up. The wolf wanted to ask me a riddle. If I succeed I can walk in their forest. If not, well I'm a goner. So I allow it to question me.

It asks

"I am born of ash and fire, yet I do not burn.

My voice has power, but I do not speak.

My kin are scattered across the land,

And those who seek me risk their hand.

What am I?"

I say in forfeiture "What, how am I supposed to know that. Do what you will, I can't go anywhere."

The wolf lunges at me in the dream, which causes me to jump up awake and gasp. I wonder what that was about. Hope it's not a prophecy or omen. I had to have read a book with that riddle somewhere. How else would I dream up something I don't even know.

I walk outside in a groggy haze and I notice the party is over. Everyone is cleaning up. I might as well help. I walk outside with the cool air waking me up a little bit more. I go to the table to try and help. Constance notices and walks up to me.

"Aventus, are you working again. I said you can take off. I'm worried about you. Mjoll is too. You seem more exhausted lately, and all you do in your free time is read or walk around for hours. Are you doing ok?"

I answer back with a slightly whiny voice "I know. I'll stop working. I'm doing ok though. I'm just keeping busy. I appreciate you checking in on me, Constance"

She then suggests "You should get some rest. I'll even tuck you in if you need."

I ask with hopeful wonder "Really? Y-you'd tuck me in? I know I'm 20 but that would feel nice being a kid for a bit. I don't wanna ask you for much, but can you. Please."

She tells me to come along and I walk to the bed with my journal and pen. I lay down and she lays the blanket on me. I feel so comfortable now.

I expressed innocently "Thank you Constance, for making me feel like a boy again. I really appreciate it."

She smiled and told me "No matter how old you are, you'll still be a little boy to me. Sweet dreams. See you in the morning, my little buddy."

I decided to grab my journal and write down my story. My days in the orphanage from when I was a boy to the present. I want the world to know that someone was making the world a better place. Whether I end up being a hero or not doesn't matter to me anymore. It's as long as I do what I love and fulfill my promise to help children.