Hi Lovelies, sorry for such a long wait! I hope you like this next chapter, let me know what you think.

Much love, Liv x

I left Edward on the porch swing. I couldn't bear to be around him. I hated that I'd let him get to me, let him see what he still did to me. It wasn't real, it was just a reflex. Just my body remembering how it used to feel when we were together. It didn't mean anything; I couldn't let it. I meant everything I said to him, he hurt me. I couldn't forget what he'd said to me in the forest, even if he said he didn't mean it. I should have gone back to bed, but I knew I would just lay there and replay mine and Edward's conversation over and over again. Instead, I put my headphones back on and started cleaning, wondering for a second if the house had ever been as clean as it had been in recent weeks.

I was outside hanging the sofa cushion covers on the line when Charlie tapped me on the shoulder scaring the life out of me. I pulled my headphones off as he apologised. "Sorry Bells, I did call you, but you didn't hear me."
"That's okay, you alright?" I questioned, pulling my phone out of my pocket to see it was a little before 9am.
"Yeah." He said rubbing the back of his neck. "What time did you get up?" I turned away from him, hanging the last cover up on the line so he couldn't see my face.
"I don't know." He sighed, and I could tell without turning around he was frustrated.
"Okay, what have you done this morning? List it, everything." I turned back to him but avoided his gaze.
"Ermm, not a lot." I said shrugging my shoulders.
"List it, now." I could feel his eyes boring into me, he sounded pissed. I kept my eyes cast down, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.
"Well, I washed the sofa covers." I said gesturing behind me. "I vacuumed, mopped the kitchen floor. Tidied the lounge, cleaned out the fridge, reorganised the cupboards, oh and I cleaned the bathroom, stripped my bed and washed your uniform."
"That's a lot. So, I'll ask again, what time did you get up?" I finally looked up at him, admitting defeat.
"Around 2." He looked genuinely upset and I worried he was going to start yelling, but instead he cupped my face in his hands.
"Bella you can't keep doing this." He pulled back, putting an arm around my shoulders. "Come inside, we need to talk." He said, leading me back to the house. I was baffled, Charlie was not one for physical contact. For him to be acting like this I must have really worried him.

He guided me to the kitchen table, having me sit down while he made me some tea and himself a coffee. I didn't say anything, not knowing where this was going, I waited for him to start talking. He sat opposite me, sliding my tea across the table. "Bella, I think you need to see someone." He looked at me so intently I had to fight the urge to look away.
"What do you mean?" I feigned ignorance, hoping he wasn't saying what I thought he was. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. The next words out of his mouth were rushed, as if he'd been holding them in for days. "I think you need to see a doctor. I haven't brought it up before because things seemed to get better but this last week you've been sleeping less and less. You're dead on your feet Bella." I stared down at my tea, wishing I could sink into the warm liquid and disappear. What could I say? How could I explain that seeing a doctor would be impossible because I couldn't tell them the truth. That vampires were real, and I'd met their rulers. That I'd nearly died trying to save Edward from them, from himself. I knew it was true and it sounded insane to me.
"Charlie, I'm okay. I don't need to see anyone. I'll be fine." My words came out quieter than I'd intended, taking away some of my conviction.
"I thought you would say that, so I've been doing some reading. There's some things we can try, exercise, limiting screen time before bed, I've ordered some tea for you as well." I didn't know what to say. He'd been reading? Charlie Swann had been researching things online that might help me sleep. I felt my heart squeeze in my chest, it's true he'd never been affectionate, but he showed it in his own way. "Are you not feeling safe? If it would make you feel better, I can swap my shifts and stop doing nights for a while? Or I can take you to the range and teach you how to shoot?" I couldn't help my smile as I looked up at him, if I wasn't mistaken the idea of teaching me to shoot definitely seemed to excite him.
"No Dad, it's okay. You don't need to change your shifts. I'll try some of the things you suggested and go from there. Maybe we should work our way up to shooting. You know how clumsy I am, handing me a gun especially while I'm tired may not be the best idea you've ever had." He chuckled, reaching across the table to give my hand a brief squeeze.
"You may have a point." He leant back in his chair, turning serious once again. "But, if in a couple of weeks things still aren't better, you're going to the doctor, okay?" He didn't take his eyes off me, waiting for my response.
"Okay." I said, knowing now all I could do was hope that some of these things worked before we got to that point.
"Good." He gulped his coffee, draining the mug. "Alright, I'm going to meet Billy to go fishing. I want you to try and get a few more hours sleep." He stood, taking his mug to the sink. "Okay." I said, the mention of sleep suddenly reminding me how tired I was.
"Promise?" Charlie said, focusing his eyes back to me as he grabbed his bag.
"I promise." He placed a kiss on the top of my head on his way to the door, stopping just short to say
"Oh and you're not grounded anymore. You've done more stuff around this house than I have since I brought it." I grinned at him, knowing he almost certainly wasn't exaggerating.

I made sure to lock the door before heading upstairs, pausing for a moment to wonder if there was any point, it's not like it would stop a vampire would it. I changed back into my pyjamas and crawled into bed, laying there for a least half an hour without sleep taking me. My brain was on overdrive, I couldn't stop thinking about the vampires outside. How if I'd never gotten involved with them then none of this would be happening, and what did it mean that they'd dropped everything to stand guard. Maybe they did care? No. They'd left me, this was guilt. They were trying to make up for the mess they'd made, nothing else. You can't just cut someone out of your life like that, not if you love them. You can't just pack up and leave, I never could have done that to them. I must have loved them more than they loved me. I mean of course I did, they're them, they're amazing. I'm me. I'm nothing special, just nothing. I was spiralling, really truly headed down the rabbit hole. I needed a distraction, I needed to sleep. Without much thought I got out of bed, opening my window wide enough to lean out and call to Jake. I wasn't loud but I knew he'd hear me anyway. I left the window open, sitting down on the edge of my bed, waiting for him to appear.

Even though I knew it was coming the sound of him clambering through the window made me jump, the lack of sleep making me even edgier than usual. "You okay?" He said kneeling in front of me. "Yeah." I said softly, avoiding his eyes.
"You sure?" He pressed, placing his hands on my knees. He'd heard, of course he had. Shit.
"You heard?" I already knew the answer, but the slight wince on his face when I finally looked up at him confirmed it.
"Yes, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to listen. I would have moved further out but I didn't want to leave my post." He dipped his head, unsure of my reaction.
"It's fine Jake, it doesn't matter." He looked back up at me then and it was my turn to look away.
"It does matter. I'm sorry." He squeezed my knee, and I met his gaze briefly.
"Jake, I said it's fine." I really didn't want to talk about this anymore, I didn't want to talk about anything.
"No, I'm not sorry about that, well I am but that's not what I meant." He stood then, starting to pace in front of me. "I'm sorry that they're here, I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you first and ask what you wanted, I wasn't thinking about how difficult this would be for you, I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I'm so sorry." He stopped in front of me again, running his hand through his hair.
"Jake it's fine. You don't need to be sorry. I understand why you did what you did. If anyone should be apologising, it's me. I was an asshole, I screamed at you and kicked you out, I was totally over the line." It was my turn to stand now, wrapping my arms around myself I turned my back to him, watching the cushion covers blowing in the breeze outside.
"Bella it's okay." I could feel him behind me, but I didn't turn. I felt so ashamed of myself, how many times could I treat him like shit before he left me too.
"No, it's not, I was so rude to you, all you've ever done is look out for me and I was a raging bitch." I could feel myself starting to panic, my emotions getting the better of me.
"Bells look at me." Still, I didn't move. "Bella." He placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me himself, crouching slightly so we were eye to eye. "When you just accepted my apology did you mean it or are you still mad at me?" I frowned, baffled by his question.
"Of course I meant it." He smiled, wiping a stray tear from my face with the back of his hand.
"Okay so listen to me and trust me when I say it's okay. You were well within your rights to yell at me, I forgive you, okay?" He gave my shoulder a squeeze, holding me firmly in his gaze.
"Okay." He pulled me to him for a brief hug, running his hand up and down my back.
"Now, did you need something?" He said, pulling back but keeping his hold on me. I frowned at him again. "You called?" I looked away, suddenly embarrassed.
"Erm, it's stupid I know but Charlie wanted me to get some more sleep and I just can't. I was wondering if you would read to me again?" He was quiet, and I felt like an idiot for even asking so I rushed to say, "You don't have to, I shouldn't have asked."
"No, it's fine!" I glanced up at him in time to see concern across his face, but he quickly replaced it with a small smile. "Do you want the same book?" He let go of me then, reaching for the book that still sat on my bedside table.
"Sure." I whispered, standing awkwardly for a minute, frozen in place.
"Well lay down then." I did as I was told. Settling on my side, as Jake pulled the chair that usually rested in the corner next to my bed. Before he sat down, he tucked the covers around me and kissed my forehead. I sighed softly, my body relaxing as soon as he started to read.