Hi Lovelies,

Sorry for the delay, I have no excuse, just life I'm afraid. Hope you enjoy this new chapter.

Much love, Liv xx

*Trigger warning for some suicidal ideation*

Bella's Point of View -

I woke up around 11 to Jacob snoring in the chair beside me. He was out for the count, his chin resting on his chest. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I got out of bed, but his ridiculous werewolf hearing had him awake and sitting bolt upright just as my feet hit the floor. "Shit, I didn't mean to fall asleep, are you okay?" He seemed panicked.
"I'm fine, it's okay, go back to sleep." I said, rubbing his shoulder as I stood.
"No, no I'm up, I'm up. Did you sleep okay?" He asked getting to his feet.
"Yes, thank you. I feel much better." I gave him a small smile, hoping to reassure him that I was okay.
"What did you want to do today? We can go out?" The thought of going anywhere exhausted me.
"That's okay, I don't really feel like it." He frowned at me. I guess considering I'd been grounded he assumed I'd be jumping at the chance to get out of the house.
"Hmm, okay. So, what do you feel like doing?"
"Nothing." I said, pulling a jumper over my head.
"Nothing at all?" He questioned, helping to pull the jumper down from where it caught on my hair.
"Umm, maybe some baking. And we can watch a movie? Obviously, we don't have to, you don't have to stay." I stumbled over my words, suddenly very conscious that he'd been up most of the night too and he probably didn't want to waste his Saturday stuck inside with me. "No that sounds great Bells. Well, it sounds great if when you say baking, you're talking about brownies?" He grinned at me, and I couldn't help smiling back.
"What else could I possibly be talking about?"

The day passed quickly, I made brownies and of course Jacob had eaten half the pan before we'd even picked out a movie to watch. I left it up to Jacob and we ended up watching some classic Scooby Doo movies which must have been left at the house from before me and mum left. After the third one, Jacob insisted we have dinner and made buttered pasta. One of the only things he knows how to cook, and it was honestly pretty good, I even managed to eat the whole bowl. We watched one more movie before I could feel myself starting to drift off. "Okay, bedtime I think." Jacob said, squeezing my knee, I looked at the clock.
"It's barely past 7 o'clock Jake." I said sitting up straight from where I'd slid down the sofa.
"Yes, but you're half asleep, and you and I both know you haven't been sleeping well. Come on." He said standing and holding out his hand for me to take.
"Fine." I said, putting my hand in his so he could pull me to my feet. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked, coming to a stop in the kitchen.
"I'm not going anywhere." Jacob said, continuing to head upstairs.
"Jake. You don't have to stay." I was talking to the back of his head, following behind him to my room.
"I'm staying Bella, just in case." I felt like such a burden, he shouldn't have to be looking after me, part of me wondered why he even wanted to.
"You don't have to Jake; this will be like the third night in a row. Go home sleep in your own bed." He shook his head, settling into the rocking chair. "The whole point of them being outside is so you can look after yourself. I'll be fine." He frowned, and I could almost see what he was thinking. I'd made a good point, and he was trying to weigh up if I was right, I knew with a little more of a push he'd agree. "How can you look after me if you're not looking after yourself?" That did it.
"Okay, but let me read to you first, I'll go as soon as you're asleep." I shot him a look, not convinced he was going to go anywhere. "I promise." He said, holding out his pinkie for me to shake.
"Okay." I replied, crossing my pinkie with his.

"Bells, it's okay, you're dreaming." Whose voice was that? Charlie? No, that can't be right, he was hurt, bleeding, he needed my help. "Bells. Wake up." But it sounded like him, why aren't his lips moving though, why can't I see him talking? He laid in front of me, still, dead. He couldn't be talking, he wasn't. "Bella!"

I jolted awake, almost headbutting Charlie as he leant over me. I pulled back, checking him over. He looked okay, no blood or bruises. "Dad, you're okay! Are you okay?" I launched myself at him, pulling him into a tight hug. I felt him freeze for a second before he wrapped his arms around me, stroking my hair softly. "I'm fine Bells, it was just a dream. Everything's okay." We stayed like that in silence for a few minutes. It was only when my heart rate finally slowed I spoke.
"I'm sorry I woke you up." My words were muffled, my head still tucked into Charlie's chest.
"You didn't, don't worry. I was getting ready for work." I sat back, relinquishing my hold on him. It was only then I noticed he was in his uniform.
"I haven't made you late, have I?"
"Not at all." He smiled, briefly checking his watch to make sure he wasn't lying. "But I should get going." He said standing. "Will you be alright?" He asked, tucking my hair behind my ear. I nodded, offering him a small smile in an attempt to convince him. "Okay, well try to get some more sleep if you can. I'll be back late, one of the guys called out so I'm covering part of his shift."
"Okay, I'll plate up some dinner for you." He smiled, kissing the top of my head before heading out the door.

I didn't go back to sleep, I have to admit I didn't even try. Considering I'd gone to bed so early I'd still had the most sleep I'd had in days, so I didn't see the point. There was nothing for me to do at the house, in the last week I'd cleaned everything that could have possibly needed cleaning, organised what could have been organised. Without anything to occupy me the house felt suffocating, I couldn't stay stuck inside all day. I got a quick shower, pulled on some clothes and left the house. I started driving before I even really knew where I was going, somehow ending up at the beach. Some part of my brain must have been switched on as I'd avoided La Push, knowing they needed to be able to follow me. I wondered how close behind they were, pausing for a moment as I got out of the truck to look around me. I couldn't see them and was thankful for that. It was hard enough they were back in town, but the thought they were watching my every move was too much to bear.

It wasn't a warm day by any means, the sun hidden behind the clouds, but it was dry, and the wind was gentle. I took off my shoes and socks, wandering down the sand to paddle my feet in the sea. At first the cold water stunned me, but I quickly got used to it, careful to keep the hem of my jeans out of the waves. I walked for a while before heading back up the shore, settling on the sand, my knees drawn to my chest. With nothing to do for the first time in days my thoughts soon ran away from me. All I had wished for months was for the Cullens to come back but now they had I somehow felt worse than before. They said they were back for me, to make things right but that just didn't make sense. Why? Why would they want to? Why waste time over me, why watch over me now? Surely it was just out of a sense of duty, they'd endangered me simply by association, so it was only right they keep me safe. It couldn't be because they cared, I wasn't worth caring about. Not to anybody. And that was just the Cullen's, the Pack was watching over me too, putting themselves in harm's way for me. I maybe understood that more, they cared for Charlie, Billy wouldn't let anything happen to him; by looking out for me they looked out for him too. Even so, if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't need looking after, he was only in danger because of me, because of choices I'd made, because I fell in love with a fucking vampire, who didn't even love me back. And why would he? Why would anyone? Fuck, I'd been so stupid, I'd ruined everything, just my being made everyone's life harder than it needed to be. For a moment I wondered if it would have been better if Jacob hadn't pulled me out of the water. If it wouldn't be better for me to rectify his mistake and walk into the waves. It would be peaceful, quiet, I could just sink, let the water swallow me up. Everything would be okay if I wasn't here. Everyone would be safe.

Edwards's Point of View –

Bella had been sat on the sand unmoving for almost an hour when my phone rang, Alice's name popping up on the screen. "Hi Ali…" Before I could finish my greeting, she interrupted me. "Where are you? Where's Bella? Have you got eyes on her?" She sounded scared, panicked, I knew she must have seen something.
"I'm looking at her right now, we're at the beach. Why Alice? What's going on?" I turned for a second, locking eyes with Emmett who had been sat on the hood of his Jeep. He jumped down having heard Alice, I watched him start scanning our surroundings, looking for danger. "You're sure she's okay?" If it were possible I'd think she was going to cry. "Yes, I'm looking at her right now. Alice what did you see?" Panic flooded through me; I didn't know what to do. Was someone coming? An army? The Volturi? She was silent. "Alice?" Nothing. "Alice, talk to me!" Still, she was silent. I took a deep breath, I didn't need it, but the action helped me get a hold of myself, if I gripped the phone any harder it would have shattered. In the second I'd taken to compose myself it occurred to me that she probably wasn't ignoring me, instead having another premonition. I stayed silent for a moment, waiting; my eyes never moving from Bella. When Alice finally spoke, she sounded relieved. "It's okay. It's not going to happen." My whole body relaxed, if I was human, I think I would have collapsed. "What's not going to happen? What did you see?" I needed to know.
"It was only for a moment; she must have changed her mind." I was so confused. Who was she talking about? Bella?
"Who Alice? Please just tell me what's going on." I was desperate.
"It's okay. She's safe. We can talk later, in person. Just don't leave her alone. I can't see what happens after she goes home so the dog must be there. Just watch her."
"Alice, you're scaring me. I can't keep her safe if I don't know what I'm protecting her from, please."
"You're protecting her from herself Edward."