Thank you to everybody who read or left kudos for the last section. I always appreciate it.

Disclaimer: A lot of the immigration stuff in this chapter is for rules of drama. I opted not to do too much research because so much changed after the UK decided to leave the European Union.

Chapter 97: Slice of London Life

Late afternoon London time, September 24, 2010

"That went better than I thought it would," Betty said as they returned to the car after their hour-long meeting with their immigration lawyer. Daniel can't remember if this is a barrister or solicitor; he gets confused. He really needs to get better at remembering the local terms. "It was better than any of my dad's meetings with his attorneys."

Daniel wanted to say something about Betty still being in the country legally. He knew to keep his mouth shut if he wanted to avoid sleeping on the couch of their hotel room. They were officially kicked out of the baby suite about 20 minutes before Betty and Daniel left for the meeting with the lawyers.

"They're hopeful, and we have lots of options. The situation is not as complicated as your father's. First of all, you don't have Wilhelmina trying to make things worse this time around," Daniel joked as their town car pulled in front of them. They opted not to drive because they were unsure of the parking situation. At least they were relatively close to the hospital.

"This is true," Betty stated as she opened the car door.

"I hope you're less nervous now after talking to the attorneys and know you have many options."

"I am, especially because I don't need to consider returning to a job I hate just to stay in the country. After my maternity leave ends, I will start the formal resignation process as soon as possible." Betty explained.

"There was no way you would need to return to the hell that was working for Lindsay. You always had other options, even if none were your dream job." Daniel is sad he can't give Betty what she wants due to the stupid no-compete clause. Not that she would take it because too many people would assume she earned the new job on her back.

"Although I wish you wouldn't have dismissed Plan B so quickly. I wouldn't mind doing another courthouse wedding." Their attorneys were slightly annoyed when Betty explained why she wouldn't just move up the wedding to make all their lives easier.

"If there were no other options, I would consider it. However, I'd rather work for Matt's aunt than do a quickie wedding. I want to get married in New York with all our friends and have Dad walk me down the aisle Christmas 2011. I want you to get to plan your dream wedding this time. Don't think I haven't noticed your stack of back wedding issues of Mode," Betty joked. Even Hilda didn't have that many bridal magazines around this spring. Daniel's office at home is just wedding magazines and baby books.

"They are for research purposes," Daniel said defensively. We have our first meeting on the March wedding issue the day after my parental leave ends. This is my first one without Wilhelmina's input. I am still deciding what the theme of this spring issue will be. My co-EIC wants no part."

"You had several articles about New York City dream weddings. I'm sure you will not use that in a UK fashion magazine," Betty retorted.

"I'm willing to acknowledge that some of it is research for our wedding. I would like to plan something to be featured in the spring wedding issue of 2012. Especially now, I don't have to worry about asking your boss for permission. You will look brilliant in the dresses Christina and Breanna create for you. Also, I think Justin will kill us if we elope, and my mom will help him hide our bodies."

"Also, true," Betty smirked at him.

"But I would absolutely sacrifice that if it kept you with me." Daniel leaned over and kissed her.

"I know, but I want you to have your dream wedding. I am glad our other lawyer reassured us that wouldn't be necessary."

"Once you told Catherine you have another job lined up. You're not just agreeing to help Breanna with the charity to keep us from having to do a quickie wedding?" Daniel asked. He was concerned about that possibility because Betty is very self-sacrificing. "I know Breanna offered you a job, but you don't have to take the first thing that falls into your lap. Our other legal team thinks they can get you out of your no-compete clause if we want to press the issue."

"I still want the legal team to work on that, but in the meantime, I'm OK with going to work with Breanna. I've had worse interim jobs. I'm fine as long as I don't have to dress like a corndog."

"I feel like you would be a really cute corndog," Daniel smiled.

"Hilda probably has pictures."

"I'm texting her later."

"I thought about it overnight, and it's the best option." Daniel gives her a sad look. "At least temporarily. It gives me a work visa and provides an excuse for Matt to come into the country and work with me. Our lawyers can still work on getting me out of my old contract in the meantime."

"So are you working with Breanna just to help Matt out or…"Daniel trailed off, not sure how to frame the rest of his question. He's worried Betty will sacrifice herself for the greater good again.

"That's part of it. It also gives me more time to determine what I want to do. I need a job and would rather help start a charity than return to being a corporate assistant. That was another option presented. Philanthropy work is part of my 10-year plan." Daniel did remember that was on her 10-year plan.

"That's Good to know. I just don't want you to be stuck," Daniel said, wrapping an arm around her.

"Breanna promised me she would find someone else to take over if I came across my new dream job, and I agreed to take the position."

"That's good to know. Have you told Breanna that you are accepting?" Daniel asked.

"Not yet. I didn't completely decide to take the job until we met with the lawyers, and they said freelance writer wasn't a viable option."

Betty explained, which caused Daniel to side.

"Now I think you're only working with Breanna to avoid a shotgun wedding at City Hall."

"It's more like I am accepting the position so I don't end up as an admin assistant for the London offices of the Malick group. At least with Breanna, I can work from home and maybe do writing projects on the side." Betty explained her logic.

"I am still concerned, but I'm going to let it go since I will be at the hospital soon and can cuddle with the twins again."

"Which is good," Betty said as Daniel's phone pings.

"OK, that was Spencer. Amanda is still with the twins and has not left there side since being discharged. She refuses to leave even though the nurses feel that it's necessary because she's about to collapse from exhaustion. She won't listen to either him or Daddy Tannen. Unfortunately, Marc is busy with fashion shows and trying to get the Crimson Diamond group to work with us." Daniel said just as the car pulled in front of the hospital. Daniel was pleased that one of the better attorneys was only a short drive from the hospital.

"OK, let's go cuddle the babies and then take Amanda home."

"More like the hotel. I want to be close in case something happens. DJ and Candy went back to the house and brought us more supplies. Is that OK?" Daniel asked.

"That makes sense. This explains why I had an appropriate outfit for the lawyer's office, although I don't remember owning this suit."

"You do now. I had Candy grab something new for you for the meeting. She refused to go through your closet."Daniel explained.

"As she should."

Xxxxx

Princess Mo: Hey, I heard from my mom, who heard from Spencer that you will be discharged soon. I wanted to see how everything was going.

Princess Mo: I also want more baby pictures. Marc is seriously slacking. I haven't gotten any new ones for eight hours.

Mandy Cakes: I am OK. I was discharged about three hours ago, but I am only leaving the hospital now for the hotel because I was spending that time with the twins. Betty and Daniel showed up to drag me back to the hotel. I'm sad another family needed the birthing suite.

Mandy Cakes: You've been dealing with Marc's radio silence because he's been at shows all day. However, I'm sure he will brief you on his meeting with the Crimson Diamond Group tonight.

Princess Mo: I'm sorry you lost the good birthing suite, but the hotel is about a five-minute walk away, so it should be OK. I'm sorry. Tamika told me he would do some work today, but I forgot. I expect pictures later, in addition to the read-out on the Crimson Diamond group meeting. I would love to take them away from Vicki.

Mandy Cakes: I'll let him know when I see him. I'm surprised Marc didn't send pictures of your aunt throwing her shoe at Vicky. That might become my new phone wallpaper. I love your aunt, and not only because she is letting me stay in her mansion rent-free. She is the absolute best. She brought me candy when she came to visit earlier.

Princess Mo: She's definitely the fun aunt, although I have a judge on my dad's side. She's cool, mostly because she took my mom's side in the divorce and convinced her favorite professor to come out of retirement to litigate the case. I don't think she has talked to my father since then.

Mandy Cakes: Your family is fascinating.

Princess Mo: My family is crazy, but in a good way. Everyone outside of my father is great. Although I've been told my paternal grandfather was an asshole. Thankfully, he died before even Mercedes was born. Actually, a lot of my grandparents are awful, and I'm glad they are no longer with us.

Mandy Cakes: That's sad. I am glad that most of the twins' grandparents are still alive.

Princess Mo: Although I am sure you wish Victoria and Faye could trade places.

Mandy Cakes: Yes, even though we must keep her and Claire apart.

Princess Mo: Considering we have to keep Claire and Victoria apart, I don't think it changes things much.

Princess Mo: Other than the murder.

Mandy Cakes: The security team had to intercept the flowers that Victoria tried to send to the hospital. Per the investigators, the card almost sounded like she was threatening Daniel to raise the twins or else he returned to widowhood again. So, we're still dealing with at least a potential murderer.

Princess Mo: OK, I resend my original statement. Is Betty getting extra security?

Mandy cakes: We all are. Although I'm extra glad Betty is no longer working for Vicki's business partner.

Princess Mo: Me too. Do you think Vicky suspects Daniel knows the twins are not his biologically? It would make sense for Daniel to get a second DNA test done after the twins were born. That was what you guys were planning to do anyway.

Mandy Cakes: It's possible. I am glad we decided that Daniel would be the twin's father regardless.

Princess Mo: That's a big turnaround from spring.

Mandy Cakes: Since April, a lot has happened besides Matt and me trying and failing to have a real romantic relationship. My ship is secure, and Betty is no longer squeamish about being a stepmom.

Mandy cakes: [Six images attached]

Princess Mo: Oh, they are so cute. Betty is doing so well feeding Alejandra.

Mandy Cakes: Daniel is also an expert at bottle-feeding, which is good because the twins won't starve.

Princess Mo: Trouble with breastfeeding?

Mandy Cakes: Neither twin is very good at latching on; when they do, they bite hard. It's not fun. I do not like bloody nipples.

Princess Mo: Brittany said Jamie did the same thing with her. She found a mommy blog with lots of tips, and it's helped a lot. I'll ask her for the URL and send it to you.

Mandy Cakes: Thank you.

Mandy Cakes: I didn't know that Brittany was feeding Jamie directly. I thought she was just pumping. Thankfully, I'm much better at that.

Princess Mo: It's mixed right now. Because we're still at the hotel, Tiffany is next door. She enjoys grandma-baby bonding time, which includes breastfeeding. My biological mom stayed on to be my wet nurse for the first three months of my life, so it's not that weird for me. We just want to do what Brittany is comfortable with. Direct breastfeeding is something she's willing to do sometimes.

Mandy Cakes: That makes sense. Although I don't think Faye would've ever considered doing that.

Princess Mo: The circumstances are different.

Mandy Cakes: Tiffany is not an alcoholic. It's a minor miracle I wasn't born with fetal alcohol syndrome. I'm so glad I was actually able to stop drinking, and I hope I can keep it up.

Princess Mo: I have faith in you. You're not your mom.

Mandy Cakes: I am grateful for that.

Princess Mo: Are you OK? You seem sad.

Mandy Cakes: Sad but not too sad. I did receive the literature on postpartum depression before they kicked me out of the baby suite. This isn't that. It's more adoption blues. Earlier I heard Spencer yelling at Dad that if Faye bothered to tell him about my existence, he would have sued for full custody.

Princess Mo: Oh, that's a lot.

Mandy Cakes: That made me cry because if she did tell him, then at least I would've grown up with one biological parent.

Mandy Cakes: It's not like I don't love the parents who raised me because I absolutely do, but I can't help but wonder what life would've been like if I had grown up with Spencer. Now I'm just mad at Faye because not only did she give me up, but she prevented me from having Spencer in my life for the last 28 years. It's just a lot because even though I'm pissed at Matt and scared his mom might kill us all, I still don't want to cut him out. Even if Daniel is the better day-to-day father, I want him to be there.

Mandy Cakes: [Eight images attached.]

Mandy Cakes: I'm sorry, but I just had to send you those. Daniel is excellent with the twins.

Princess Mo: They really are so cute.

Princess Mo: It's not surprising that the situation is bringing back much of the angst related to your adoption. Did you ever speak to a therapist or other professional about the adoption or even consider joining an adoption support group? I joined when in college, and it helped a lot. I started attending meetings again when I adopted Jamie, and it's been helpful with processing a lot of my daddy resentment. I can see if they have a London chapter.

Mandy Cakes: That would be good. I am in therapy right now, but primarily to help with staying sober. I didn't think about dealing with adoption-related issues. I found AA helpful, so I'm not against joining another support group.

Princess Mo: Your adoption issues could be related to your drinking issues, so it might be good to deal with all of it.

Mandy Cakes: That's true. I just feel like there are so many parts of me I don't know about, and that's because of Faye's choices. I don't want the twins to be without parts of their history. I am terrified of repeating Faye's mistakes.

Princess Mo: You can't change what Faye did. But you can make better choices going forward. You now have a chance to get to know Spencer.

Mandy Cakes: I know, but I just regret all the time I missed with Spencer. Also, Faye is gone, and I'm never going to get to ask her any of my questions.

Princess Mo: But you have access to her family. As soon as your cousin is no longer acting as our spy in the enemy camp, you can at least get to know her. Maybe she will have some answers for you. Who knows, you might have more living grandparents.

Mandy Cakes: This is true.

Princess Mo: I have good news from my cousin. Victoria is supposed to be returning to New York tomorrow.

Mandy Cakes: That's good news for us but not for everybody in New York.

Princess Mo: This is true. Thankfully, almost everybody will be in Pennsylvania this weekend at Hersheypark. Unfortunately, I will stay behind because Jamie is a little too little for their first amusement park visit but Jade will be there. There's a zoo too, so at least that's good for the little baby.

Mandy Cakes: I'm glad everybody's getting out. Although why Pennsylvania? Is this related to Tiffany's disappearance?

Princess Mo: In the sense that we want to distract Austin and what better place than one dedicated to the Hershey bar. I regret not seeing my mom go down the waterslide. But there's always a family trip to Disney World next year. We get VIP treatment and are club 33 members.

Mandy Cakes: I think it's best I don't ask questions.

Princess Mo: That's very true. I have a meeting to attend, but I'll check in later. Maybe I'll even text Daniel.

Mandy Cakes: That would be good. Daniel's been out most of the afternoon because they met with the immigration lawyer. I think it went well because Betty didn't come back crying, but I am afraid to ask even though we are back at the hotel now. So that means he's available for text messaging.

Princess Mo: I suggest waiting till after dinner to ask how the lawyers went.

Mandy Cakes: That was a good call. I am sad I am not in the hospital with the twins, but I am happy to no longer be eating hospital food.

Princess Mo: Very true.

Mandy Cakes: I've been told your mother's hotel has good room service.

Princess Mo: Yep, try the cheese fries if they're on the menu there. They're not as good as what my hubby makes, but they're still delicious.

Mandy Cakes: I will tomorrow. We're getting Indian food brought to the hotel.

Princess Mo: There's a really good, authentic place by the hotel. I'm sorry I don't remember the name. I'm sure the front desk knows it, though.

Mandy cakes: Spencer asked and is taking care of it. DJ went with the adults to keep them from attacking each other in public.

Princess Mo: So, hey, my meeting is with Claire to discuss all the designers/advertisers leaving Isabella for us. She wants me to let you know that she had a weird conversation with her ex and an even weirder conversation with his sister. She is going to Hershey tomorrow to find out everything that Brianna cannot put in writing and I don't know the finer details of. She is a little annoyed at me for knowing the truth when she didn't.

Mandy Cakes: I'll let Daniel know.

Xxxx

"So, your mom knows the twins are yours only via adoption," Amanda said as she passed her phone to Daniel across the dinner table. They were currently waiting in Betty and Daniel's suite for dinner with DJ and her dads. Unfortunately, Marc was having dinner with the Crimson Diamond group with Candy and Charlotte.

"I told you we should've told her, especially because my dad knew," Betty said as she read the message over Daniel's shoulder.

"Your dad is better at keeping secrets." Daniel argued.

"Wait, your dad knows?" Amanda asked surprise. Betty nodded her head yes.

"He knew before I knew?" Amanda asked in clarification. This time, Daniel nodded his head.

"You told him before you told me. That is entirely unfair," Amanda pouted.

"We didn't tell him. He just kind of figured it out on his own." Daniel explained. That only made Amanda feel marginally better. "Which I'm grateful for because he doesn't hate me."

"I think he figured it out because it's kind of what he did with Hilda," Betty add.

"That's true. I forgot about having to help with the sister intervention. I knew your dad was my favorite for a reason."

"I will call my mom." Daniel was pulling out his phone when Betty stopped him.

"You can't call your mom. She doesn't have one of the special phones. Which seems weird because even Wilhelmina has one of the special phones."

"She has a phone because she's helping Marc with the custody situation," Daniel explained. "She's using her contacts to help us right now."

"At least she's on our side. I am grateful I don't have to ask Wilhelmina for aid to keep me in the country." nobody wants to deal with both Wilhelmina and Victoria sabotaging things. Victoria was bad enough.

"Wilhelmina is not on speaking terms with her senator father, so she couldn't do much, especially because it's not the US this time," Daniel pointed out. Although Tamika might know some people because of her previous job."

"I meant to ask you how that was going but I was afraid to on the car ride here."

"It was just the first meeting, but they're really hopeful. Although technically, I am still working for Lindsey, I am just on maternity leave."

"What?" Amanda was surprised.

"Your maternity replacement called and informed me that I am just on maternity leave right now. I think Lindsey will try to ask me to come back in a few weeks once things are more settled."

"Do you want to go back? I know everybody was horrible to you there, but people started to respect you towards the end. Especially because everybody knows how you told Lindsay to go fuck himself when he tried to send you to fix Victoria's problems. Morale is down due to the random assignments to Isabella Press." In addition to the baby well wishes, she's been getting a lot of juicy gossip from her former colleagues. She is mad at Harrie for not telling her about the maternity leave thing.

"No," Betty answered firmly. "It wasn't working there, and thankfully, I have another option to keep me here for the moment. I'm going to help Matt's aunt out for a few months. That will give me time to look for what I want without worrying about getting deported."

"Which is good." Amanda smiled at her. "But running a magazine is what you always want to do."

"I think the old saying is 'be careful what you wish for because you might just get it.' Lindsey quickly made my dream a nightmare."

"Your experience with Lindsay Publishing was bad, but that does not reflect your skill levels. You just jump from writer to EIC very quickly, and as somebody who did that, it's exhausting. Everyone was expecting me to fall, and so I did," Daniel explained.

"I feel better going into Mode UK now within an established reputation. Nobody thinks I am there because my name is on the front door. You may get another chance eventually. Don't give up on that."

"Everybody knows you were there because Mode UK was about six months from closing." Amanda joked.

"Also, true. but in three months, I've managed to completely turned that around and there's a really good team in place to keep things moving well I'm taking time to be with the twins oh,."

"Amanda, I'm not giving up my dream of running a magazine someday. I'm putting it on pause until the nondisclosure agreement dissolves. In the meantime, I will help open a London branch of the Hartley Foundation."

"Is this an excuse to get 'you know who' in the country more?"

"Possibly since he's taking over for his mom, but I'm happy to help Brianna. You know she's been super busy with everything with Alexis."

"Brianna really does need the help," Daniel stated. "Although I would love it if our lawyers could get the nondisclosure agreement dissolved fast so you could take over Diversity Business UK. Finding a new EIC for that magazine is the first thing I do when my paternity leave ends at the end of October."

"I can't come work for you, at least not as an EIC, especially at Diversity Business UK. I would run into the same problem I'm having at London Hub: not understanding the local culture."

"You should talk to Diana King. She's looking for a new job. Victoria and Lindsay tried to relocate her to Isabella to be Victoria's number 3, but she couldn't because of the custody situation with her ex-partner, so she was fired," Amanda explained.

"I'm not surprised. How do you know all of that?"

"I know all the best gossip at Lindsey Publishing right now. However, I heard this from Marc, who watched the firing happen in real-time at the Rafael show this morning." Amanda explained.

"Lindsey fired her?" Daniel asked, concerned.

"Victoria did," Amanda explained. "I have video."

"Of course she did." Daniel sighed in exhaustion.

"Lindsey already tried to hire her back per the rumor mill, but she told him to go fuck himself. A whole lot of people hate Lindsay right now."

"Wasn't Diana King one of your prime candidates for creative director before you went with Natalie? You should consider her for the job at Diversity Business UK." Betty suggested. "It wouldn't hurt to interview her again."

"Yep, it's the same Diana. I went with Natalie because Diana abandoned us at the worst possible time and didn't last more than a few months at the competitor before it fell apart."

"She left after David Pratt literally destroyed the magazine. There's still a conference room you have to rebuild. You can't hold that against her." Betty argued.

"Besides, it would make Victoria really angry if you brought her back to Meade Publishing," Amanda added.

"We do love to make Victoria angry. I'll talk to my co-EIC. I know she is still friends with Diana and can casually mention the new position."

"Good, one less problem," Betty commented.

"If you don't work for Daniel, you should send one of your books to a publisher," Amanda suggested. "There really good."

"Yes, but that won't get me a work visa," Betty answered.

"I specifically asked the lawyers about that, and I received a frown. I discussed it with Breanna, who said I could still work on my books while helping with the foundation. That's why I am choosing to do that. At least this way, I can email Matt regularly." Betty explained.

"Which would also piss off Victoria. Which would be a bonus." Amanda commented.

"Very true," Betty replied as DJ and Amanda's two dads arrived with several food boxes.

"We are back, and we brought curry," DJ said as he walked into the suite.

"Bless you all. I'm starving. I miss being by the babies, but I'm happy to no longer be eating hospital food. I miss spice and taste. I thought I would never say that."

"The pregnancy got you used to eating regularly," Daniel commented. "Just remember everything you eat, the babies eat. It's best to avoid the really spicy stuff."

"We got a couple of milder platters just for you." DJ passed a large bag to Amanda filled with butter chicken and the bread she loved.

"You're my favorite."

Xxx

DJ's stepmom: How did your meeting with the lawyers go? I heard you went with the team that helped me get Amanda into the country.

Betty: I didn't know that. It went really well. However, that might be because I told him I was taking a job with the Hartley Foundation, starting a new NGO in London. They should be helping you once again with my visa sponsorship.

DJ's stepmom: So you're helping me with the foundation?

Betty: Yes. I've wanted to do this later in my career, but I'm happy to work on it now as long as it's less chaotic than putting on the Black-And-White Ball. There's a reason why we had a two-year gap.

DJ's stepmom: It will be a few years before we do balls in London. Matt can handle those.

Betty: Thank you for that.

DJ's stepmom: Maybe we could develop better fundraising opportunities with you there.

Betty: How about a lovely cookbook? That way, at least, my editorial skills will be used. I can get my dad to donate a couple of his best recipes.

DJ's stepmom: See, this partnership will work out well. Also, I know of a couple of charities that put together newspapers to raise funding. I'm all for doing something less pretentious. I want to move us further away from the stupid things my sister-in-law did.

Betty: I don't blame you. Monique slipped a message to Amanda and we're sure that Claire knows about the twin's paternity.

DJ's stepmom: She's suspects because my brother is an idiot. I won't confirm it until tomorrow. Although now that Daniel is officially on the birth certificate, it's less dangerous for people to know the truth.

Betty: I'm still apprehensive, but that might be because I'm currently in the same country as Victoria. She also made a snide comment about Daniel becoming a widow again in the latest bouquet that was intercepted. We increase security.

DJ's stepmom: Obviously, she didn't use Amanda's cousin to send that one.

Betty: She did not. Could you slip Claire one of the special phones so she and Daniel can talk? It would be better if we could contact her directly if things blew up.

DJ's stepmom: Brilliant. That way, I won't have to clean up my brother's mess. I'll give her one tomorrow.

Betty: Thank you for that.

DJ's stepmom: Someone from my team will contact your legal team about the visa sponsorship.

Betty: I appreciate that.

DJ's stepmom: I would do it myself, but I will have to travel to New York on Monday to help install Matt as my number two at the foundation and make sure my sister-in-law is completely out of the system.

Betty: That's so unfortunate. I wish you well.

Xxxx

Dear diary:

Good news: I've been discharged from the hospital. Bad news: The twins are going to be staying for a few more days. They need to gain a little more weight, which would be so much easier if I could get them to eat from me, but it's not going well. Monique sent me an article that Tiffany found helpful, so it's on my list of things to read. Daniel gave me some articles, too, but I trust Tiffany more. At least she can see things from my perspective.

Spencer and Dad are fighting a lot. Marc told me they were, but I didn't realize it was that bad until they did it when Monique's aunt was visiting that afternoon. That was embarrassing. Spencer resents my parents for taking me in because he couldn't do it himself. At least, that's the way Marc sees it. I am still too sore from the porcupines to get involved. I really hope this isn't Matt and Daniel in 25 years.

Am I making the right choice by keeping up the charade? It's not really a charade since Daniel agreed to be the twins' dad. I just can't help but worry that Alejandra and Marcus will resent me for choosing Daniel over their biological dad. I resent Faye for not telling Spencer about me. I love my parents—I really do—but I can't help but wonder what it would've been like to be raised by Spencer.

He said he would've raised me if he knew. I could've lived with my biological father. I'm angry at Faye for taking that possibility away from me. I'm worried about the twins feeling that way when they're older. I know it's not the same situation. I don't think anybody was trying to kill me. I'm just terrified of the possibility that I'm going to cause my children severe unrepairable psychological damage.

Maybe Monique is right, and this is something I should talk to my therapist about; I missed my last session because I was in labor, which Doctor Cruz says is a valid excuse. But I feel like I really needed that session. Everything is really mixed up right now. I'm terrified I am going to be a bad mom. My actual mom was great, but my biological mom gave me away because she didn't think she could parent me. I have to do better for Alex and baby Marc. They deserve better.

To be continued…