Nobody's daughter Chapter 24: Broken Plates, a harry potter fanfic

Lacy~ Olivia Rodrigo

I vaguely remember Hagrid pulling me out of the stands. I could still hear the noise all around me. I focused on clenching and unclenching my fists, trying my best to have something grounding me to reality. I remember Madam Pomfry's concerned voice. I didn't know what she did, but suddenly I could see her again. I could feel the air taking it's place back in my lungs, still not filling it up, but now there wasn't a crowd all around me anymore; I was still shaking, sweating, and barely aware of my surroundings when Pomfry forced a vial of something down my throat. It tasted sickly sweet. I started coughing violently, taking a huge breath. It actually went in this time; I could breathe again, the air filling me again. I gave a sigh of relief as I put my hand over my chest and felt the pain subsiding. My hands were steady again; I felt a sense of calmness and warmth spreading through me. I wiped my tears with my sleeve. I looked around and I was sitting on a chair in a tent similar to the one the champions were in.

"Better?" Said Madam Pomfry quietly. Quieter than I've ever heard her speak actually. I nodded, pushing my hair off my face and wiping my sweat. A sense of peace took over me as I rested my back against the chair.

"Is Harry all right?" I asked, not really scared of the answer but I knew I should be.

"Unfortunately, you're not going to inherit the rest of the money yet" came a voice from the other end of the tent. I almost gasped with relief as I saw him sitting there with a wide grin on his face. His shoulder bared like it'd just been healed, but other than that, unscathed.

I smiled, "That's very disappointing," I said with a shaky laugh.

"Are you all right?" He asked, a little concerned.

I felt a pang of embarrassment, a feeling the potion didn't drown apparently. "You just fought a dragon, and you're asking if I'm all right?! How pathetic could I be..." I laughed bitterly.

"No...no, you're..." He started.

"What happened? How did you get through it? I barely saw anything," I interrupted him.

He sighed and told me about the broom summoning, "Once I was in the air, it was all easy...it got my shoulder, but it wasn't that bad, just like it's another bludger, that's all" he said simply.

"Only you could compare facing a dragon with quidditch"

At that moment, Sarah and Ginny came rushing through the tent.

"No, wait...you shouldn't..." Said Madam Pomfry. When they ignored her she shook her head and kept muttering furiously.

"Are you okay?" Asked Sarah with concern.

"I'm all right, I promise; nothing is wrong with me", I assured them. Ginny punched my shoulder upon hearing that. I gave a pained gasp.

"You gave me a great scare back there; you weren't answering, and I kept shaking you; it was terrifying. Don't ever do that again," said Ginny.

"I didn't really have a choice!" I complained, rubbing my shoulder. "I don't know what happened, I swear, I just couldn't breathe somehow and..." I trailed off, feeling even more embarrassed by my reaction. Harry was okay... he was all right. I didn't get why I was unable to control myself more. No one else suffered that, it made me feel weaker than I have in a while. "It's probably just the crowd... There were too many people around me, you know? You shouldn't worry about it" I muttered.

"But you weren't answering...you were shaking, I do-" started Ginny.

"It doesn't matter" interrupted Sarah hastily, they shared a look I didn't like, but I didn't say anything, "let's just go see Harry's score"

Being not that much known was a relief because not that many people knew about what happened to me. That was good for me, I couldn't imagine what would happen if the news reached Diaz. Besides, people were still buzzing about the task to be caring about me anyway. I heard so many details that I don't remember even a shred of. Everyone repeats how every champion dealed with the dragon. They all seemed to be so astonished by Harry's performance that no one was even flashing 'Potter Sucks' in my direction anymore. It seemed the firebolt stunt had gained Harry back his popularity, his positive one at least.

Meanwhile, something horrific was announced, the Yule ball. A dance, an actual dance. I know, terrible. But suddenly, the whole school went into a frenzy. Suddenly, nothing matters more than who's going with whom. I thought this wouldn't affect my year, given that the ball is only for fourth years or older, but boy was I wrong.

I hadn't realized how much effect it had though until a couple of days after the announcement when I stepped in the astronomy classroom.

A group of Hufflepuffs were huddled in a corner around that one girl who takes Arithmancy with me. I found out a few days ago that her name is Diane. She seemed to be upset about something and her friends were trying to cheer her up. Conan had his hand on her shoulder which made me feel just great. So great that I couldn't stop myself from approaching them.

"Erm... wh-what's going on?" I asked hesitantly. Trying to seem nice

"Oh, shut up you!" Snapped Diane.

I frowned and raised my eyebrows, dropping the nice act instantly, "Excuse me?! Who do you think you are to talk-" I started heatedly. I was interrupted by Conan taking my arm and gently pulling me away. "What's wrong with her?!" I asked him furiously, making sure I speak loud enough for her to hear me.

Conan pulled me towards Sarah and Ginny who were sitting in the other corner of the class. They seemed to be laughing about something.

"Calm down, Emma," said Conan

"What happened?" Asked Ginny, grinning. I frowned at Conan and raised my eyebrows, expecting an explanation for not letting me hex that girl.

"She's just upset, okay? She...she asked your brother, and he said no"

Ginny and I swapped expressions so fast you'd think we exchanged bodies.

"Never been more proud of him" I declared with a smirk.

"Don't be mean, Emma"

"I'm not the one that started it!"

"you're always the one that starts, Emma" commented Sarah.

"Not this time!" I objected.

"just don't take it personally, alright?" said Conan, interrupting the beginning of a useless argument. He patted my shoulder and got up, going back to the Hufflepuff. I stared after him for a few seconds. He seemed eager to comfort her, but on the other hand, he didn't seem bothered by her asking Harry which was a good sign...I think...

Someone else was bothered by it though.

"so...erm...does that mean Harry already has someone?" mumbled Ginny, fumbling with her quill.

"Ginny, what did we say about moving on?"

"What?! I can't ask?" She said defensively

I sighed, "I don't know, but he's talking to Ron again so maybe ask him"

Ginny glared at me; now I was being mean; I was just so tired of seeing her upset about it. I pursed my lips, "the whole school would know if he had someone, don't worry" I said, my tone apologetic.

The Yule ball fever hit the school like wildfire; it didn't take long until it was the only thing anyone was talking about. That led to almost everyone signing up to stay in school during the holiday. I had to stare at the formed line in front of Professor McGonagall's desk wistfully, losing the few weeks of peace and empty hallways I usually get every year.

When asked who between all third years was asked to the ball the most, two names would come to mind, 'Sarah Taylor' and 'Matteo Diaz'. Although the rumours wouldn't be accurate (or at least that's what I like to tell myself), last I heard, Matteo was asked by half the Slytherin fourth-year girls, some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws and even a few fifth years. And the problem is, when asked who he said yes to, everyone would give you a different answer. I made a note to try and avoid him through the few classes before the holidays. I knew that'd be something he'd gloat about, and given my lack of ball invites, my stand in that argument wouldn't be favourable.

On the other hand, the three of us couldn't pass a day without someone stopping us, taking Sarah aside and asking her to the ball. Her being friendly with everyone came somewhat to her advantage now.

"Do you not want to go?!" Groaned Ginny one time after Sarah had apologized profusely to Justin Finch-Fletchley, who took it lighter than most given that they're already friends.

"Of course, I want to go", answered Sarah.

"Then why are you not accepting anyone?!" Ginny had been hit hard by the ball fever. Even though, like me, no one had asked her, she wanted to go so bad that I was sure if her worst enemies asked her, she wouldn't hesitate to say yes. Just one more way that we're different; I was terrified of the mere thought of it. Having to dress up, having to dance...well, that's a lie, I do wish I could do all of those things and have a good time. Except I won't, not someone like me; I won't be good at it, I will make myself miserable by the end of the night and I know it.

"I just don't want to go with them, that's all" shrugged Sarah. Which was the same excuse Harry was using for turning down a whole lot of girls who, if I may add, are almost all out of his league. Except Harry's situation was worse than Sarah's. He had to get a date. Professor McGonagall was pressuring him to get a date because all of the champions should have one. So it was really weird for him to be turning down all of those girls. And, of course, Ginny was losing her mind because of that; she was so adamant about going somehow and so desperate to go with Harry that I think if he actually asked her, she'd faint. I told her if she still wanted that so much she should ask him, but I don't really want her to do that. I knew Harry didn't think of her that way. Plus, he was pretty ignorant so it might not end well.

And given that neither Ginny nor I had a date for the ball, and we weren't allowed to go if we didn't. Naturally, we ended up dress shopping on the next Hogsmeade weekend.

It was originally Sarah's idea. But she abandoned us halfway to Hogsmeade when we crossed Neville, and he told her that he found some weird plant that he'd been looking for in one of the shops. I personally didn't know Sarah was that interested in any kind of herbs but nevertheless, here we were. Dress shopping without the only one of us who actually had a prospect of going.

After Sarah left, I tried everything to convince Ginny not to force me to go but it was no use.

This chain of events led to this moment of me sitting on the few stairs leading up to the changing room.

I looked up as Ginny came out after trying her dress.

"Waaay too short for McGonagall's taste," I said instantly.

"I figured", she muttered, rolling her eyes, "it looks good, though, right? It fits too"

"it does, Ginny, just like the two before it," I said, exasperated. "when are we going to leave?"

"When you try one,", she said stubbornly, looking through more dresses.

"I'm not going to the stupid ball, why would I try anything?"

"you might go, maybe someone will ask you"

"no one will ask me. and even if they did I'm not going"

"you're the most boring person I've ever met, are you sure the hat didn't actually sort you in Hufflepuff? maybe you misheard it"

"don't let them hear you; we're already on their bad side," I said as I watched Ginny go back into the changing room with yet another dress. I groaned and put my hands over my face. Daydreaming about a cup of butterbeer.

When she came out I was stunned by how pretty that one looked on her. it was purple and flowy. it fit her perfectly, just the perfect length. the violet color was vibrant and it complemented her complexion perfectly. she looked in the mirror then back at me.

"it's...great, seriously, you look really good" I said.

"right? it looks really good" she said, checking her reflection again. almost subconsciously, she reached for the price tag on the side of the dress. her face fell instantly. "well...it's not like someone asked me anyway" she said sheepishly. "why don't you try it?"

"oh, because I have five boys lined up just outside the shop?"

"no because you've been sitting here bumming me out, come on" she said and went back in to change. she got back in her clothes and forced me inside with the dress in my arms. I groaned loud enough for her to hear as I changed into the dress. it took me a few attempts to do so. I don't wear dresses, not because I don't want to but due to the lack of them. I struggled to finally be able to zip it up and get out, this seems like an excessive exercise for me.

"That looks so good on you!" Exclaimed Ginny as I got out. I furrowed my eyebrows, checking myself in the mirror.

The dress had lost much of it's flair as it barely clung to my body. My thin bony frame not doing much to hold it up. The fabric reluctantly grazing my skin, the colour having lost it's vibrant exterior, making me actually look paler. I tried to fix the skirt to make it look as flowy as it looked on Ginny but it wouldn't comply. I stared down at my hairy exposed arms, it felt like I was making the dress look bad instead of the other way around. Like I was the inconvenience. I looked back at seemed excited for some reason.

"You have to get it...you look great"

She doesn't know how her complements makes fire ignites from anywhere that dress touches my body.

I looked back in the mirror, fixing my hair as I tried to force a smile.

"I'm not going...why would I get it?" I said.

"Come on, Emma" groaned Ginny. "Maybe someone would ask you... you'll have fun there...and maybe if I get asked I could ask mum to send me one, she could make one for me actually...if...erm... someone asked me"

The undertone in her voice made me want to groan loudly but I held it in. "Someone? You mean someone who is obligated to get a date and hadn't even bothered to think of you? That someone?" I said, my voice came out sharper than I meant. I could see Ginny's excitement practically spilling out of her. I clenched my fists, hating the fact that I might be trying to purposely hurt her.

"Well maybe...maybe eventually if he still has no one to go with before the ball..." She said, fidgeting with her hands, not meeting my eyes.

"Do you really want to go with someone because he couldn't find anyone better?" I said. My voice lower now, almost apologetic.

Ginny sighed, sitting down on my previous spot on the stairs. Resting her hand on her cheek.

I felt guilty, I tried to smooth the dress under me and sat next to her.

"You've got to realize at one point that the boy if you dreams is just an idiot, you know?" I said, trying to lighten the mood. "He had A wooden brick as a toy when he was young...slept with it and everything, just a wooden brick, nothing special about it, and he named it woody"

She smiled weakly. Understanding that I was trying to help.

"And he wet the bed till he was like five"

"That's a normal age..." She mumbled.

"No, it's not...and he blamed it on woody nonetheless"

Ginny actually chuckled this time. "And where's woody now?"

"I threw it in the fire when Harry went to sleep" I shrugged. "We slept in a cupboard, I wasn't about to tolerate any more of it's accidents"

"Well good thing Harry didn't admit to it... imagine surviving you know who and then a four year old burns you alive"

I grinned, "Well when you look at it that way..."

The witch from the dress shop approached us with a sour expression on her face. She had been eyeing us with exasperation ever since we came in.

"You can't just sit here, you know" she said with an extravagant eye roll. "buy something or leave"

"She'll take the dress" perked up Ginny.

"I didn't say I will!" I argued, hating the mere fact of owning it.

"Come on, even if you don't go, it looks good on you, you'll wear it eventually"

I stared at Ginny for a second. Feeling vulnerable at her repeated complement. Knowing that it wasn't true. That the dress was yearning to get back on her instead. Yearning to be worthy of being admired.

"Fine, I'll take it" I said faintly. Trying to silence my thoughts. Trying to stop myself from falling right back the track I always end up in.

Our last defense against the dark arts class was... interesting to say the least. This class was already my least favorite this year, it was the dreading feeling I get everytime I step in here. This had actually been holding me back, I was almost too anxious to ask any questions, when I gathered the courage to do so, Professor Moody would eye me with his plastic blue one like I just said a slur. He'd answer me normally and explain whatever is bothering me, but still, the way his attention would single me out wasn't always worth the attempt of speaking up.

Today, he hauled a huge wardrobe in class using his wand.

"Fortunately, Professor Lupin had left me this" he said, patting the wardrobe proudly, "this, is our lesson today, great ending for the term, isn't it?"

My heart dropped at the mention of Remus, I knew about that lesson, I was almost sure what was in the wardrobe now, but I wished with all my will I was wrong. It wobbled a little like a stray cat was locked in it, oh how i wish it's a stray cat.

"Boggarts" the two syllables I dreaded echoed in the room in Moody's groggy voice. "They're smart deadly creatures that has a unique way of fighting"

I zoned out now and sunk back in my chair because I knew exactly their way of fighting. Harry had told me all about the Boggart/ Dementor he used to master the Patronus. I clenched and unclenched my fists anxiously, I had no idea what I might face out of this wardrobe. But I have recently established that I'm a big coward so who knows what other little thing could shake me to the core. Maybe I could avoid participation somehow, maybe I won't have to see what scares me the most

"Now let's make an interesting final class of the term" declared Moody after explaining the Ridiculous charm, "every single one of you would face the Boggart on it's own, no one is getting out of this class until they've successfully defeated their Boggart"

All kind of curses gathered in my throat, desperately trying to escape. Surely he can't do that, can he? If it's just a part of the grade maybe I can forfeit that. But then again, if I'm barely scared of the idea of facing it then maybe I'm more of a coward than I even thought I am. I tried to think of any possibilities of what I might have to face but my mind was frozen.

"So...who wants to start?" Asked Moody like his Christmas just came early. And given that Christmas was almost here anyway, he was completely overreacting.

Half of the student present raised their hands. Sometimes I hate being a Gryffindor...

The first boy that got up, stood in front of the wardrobe cockily, Professor Moody opened it and out came an Inferius. A dead bald body that stood before him, so pale you could see it's veins. It's lips bluish so is the rest of his limbs. The dead body started advancing, the boy took a few steps back shakily.

"Don't cower! Focus! Constant vigilance!" Barked Moody. The boy raised a shaky wand and uttered the spell, his voice an attempt of steadiness. Nothing happened, the Inferius kept advancing. This time he took in a breath and stood his ground then said the spell again more solidly. The Inferius stopped like it had been struck, then it's bald head sprouted two ponytails, it's ugly face twisted as it shrank down as the rags on it's body turned pink and glittery. Everyone started laughing so hard, most of all the boy in front of the Boggart. Suddenly it started to dissipate. Professor Moody waved his wand and waved the dissipating pink ugly face back into the wardrobe. Everyone was still laughing.

"Nice spell!" Barked Moody with a crooked smile, "who's next?!"

Suddenly, everyone was already crowding each other to have a turn. He always got the Boggart back in the wardrobe after every student so that it's not easier for the next ones. Everyone was fighting to try first, the class was turning

into chaos with all kind of scary creatures showing up. One girl's Boggart slipped under her and turned into a huge hill so that she was clinging to the ceiling, turns out she was afraid of heights. Some students even went twice.

Sarah's Boggart was an old ugly man that looked like he was somewhat 2D, she turned him blue and everyone laughed.

The only two students that remained on the end of the class and didn't even try to participate, were Ginny and I. I felt like a huge coward as I watched everyone have fun with it. All I could think about was the way the air wasn't reaching my lungs during the first task, the way I was sweating, the pain in my chest. I didn't want that to happen again, I was so embarrassed it happened even once. Ginny was also pretty pale, I wasn't completely sure why she didn't want to face the Boggart but I'd say I had a pretty good idea.

Eventually, there was no more hiding. Everyone had gotten their turn and the gazes were slowly falling on us, sitting there at the end of the class.

"You go first" I whispered to Ginny.

"Why should I go?! You go!" She whispered back.

"I'm not going first! Come on, we're both going to have to face it anyway, it wouldn't make a difference" I argued back.

"Exactly, it wouldn't, so you go on first"

"But I don't want t-"

"Potter, Weasley, come on, your turn!" Said Moody sternly, both his normal and mad eye focusing on us. I gulped, clenched my fists. Ginny was staring at me pleadingly. I knew she wouldn't be asking that if she wasn't desperate. Ginny doesn't like to be weak, or rather be viewed as weak, she always does her best to act tough all the time. I understand that more than anything so I knew it wasn't easy for her to ask me to go first. I sighed and got up, took a few hesitant steps towards the wardrobe.

I took in a breath, my grip like steel around my wand as Moody waved the wardrobe open. I was ready for an attack, a vicious act of violence of any kind. But the first thing I saw were glinting hazel eyes, just before my mind started to register the face in front of me...mine.

A copy of me stood in front of me. There were no differences between us, except for everything.

I had to look up because she was taller than me, she was even thinner than I am right now. her face was far paler, her neck was far longer. and the thing that shook me the most, was the fact that her hair, (my hair) was perfectly blond, it was shorter than mine is right now and the same shade of blond as...as...as her. the sour distasteful look on my face was way too familiar that it made my wand shake in my hands. my heart was beating fast, that was me, that was who I am all grown, I had, as expected, turned completely into her. my worst nightmare stood in font of me, with everyone present to watch. i had frozen in place, unable to move and end this nightmare. or was it merely a nightmare? maybe this is a sign, maybe that's actually who i'll be, maybe this is my fate that i can never, no matter what i do, escape. that thought paralyzed me even more, i couldn't bare it, i wanted to run, escape my fate, do literally anything but stand here like a statue.

My awful doubleganger started to open her mouth. that's when i snapped, whatever venom is going to come out of this mouth i didn't want to hear. neither do i want anyone here to.

"Ridiculous!" i said sharply, trying to imagine literally anything to bash her away. suddenly, her awful blond hair started turning green, ugly seaweed green. she started panicking, trying to get the hair off her head as if it was a wig but it was no use. everyone started laughing as her hands started turning green upon touching her hair then the hair itself started sprouting violet spots in it. the boggart shrieked as it took a few steps back. i forced myself to laugh weakly with everyone else as it started dissipating. Moody waved the hideous shrieking creature back inside the wardrobe. but as she stumbled back in, i could've swore i could see the green/violet locks start to turn red, which made my weak fake smile not that much fake.

"great, great work, Potter" my weak beam dropped upon his groggy praise. I nodded, wipping the sweat on my forehead. I knew this is going to haunt me later but I just decided to focus on the fact that I was able to win this round right now.

I locked eyes with Ginny as she reluctantly approached the wardrobe in turn, I nodded reassuringly. I knew that neither her nor anyone else understood why I was afraid of a blond version of me. but all I could communicate with her is that if I could do it then she probably can too.

She neared the wardrobe with a determined look on her face, as Moody waved it open. i was half expecting myself coming out again after she'd gotten herself bold, but instead a handsome young man strolled confidently out of the wardrobe. he looked about seventeen or eighteen, with sharp features and a lean figure. he had a confident smile on his face, the kind of smile you can't help but trust. but Ginny turned instantly pale, i could see her knuckles around her wand turning white, everyone was staring at the young man in confusion, expecting him to turn into something ugly or vicious, but nothing happened. he just tilted his head at Ginny like he was pitying her somehow. what i didn't instantly notice though was Moody's expression. he might've turned even paler than Ginny, his expression darkened so suddenly that i thought he might be my new boggart.

Ginny raised her wand anxiously and pointed it at the young man. "Ridicu-"

"Expliarmus!" barked Moody before she could cast the spell. Ginny looked at him with her eyes wide, questioning. so did everyone else, he hastily waved the young man back inside the wardrobe, "class is over, everyone is dismissed!"

Students started confusedly shuffling outside upon hearing his sharp tone, his voice was quieter than I've ever heard it before though. it sent a chill down my spine, I remained standing, staring at him with my eyebrows furrowed. Ginny was doing the same thing, except her expression was

bordering on frustration. he didn't pay us any attention though, hid gaze fixed on the wardrobe, his expression unreadable. slowly, as the class emptied, i tugged at Ginny's cloak and pulled her outside.

we walked silently out until we met up with Sarah.

"What was that?!" She asked. We both shrugged, half not wanting to talk and half not even understanding.

I was in a haze as we walked back to the Gryffindor tower. I could hear Sarah babble on about her Boggart and wonder why Moody ended the class so suddenly. But I wasn't really listening to her, my mind was stuck replaying all of it. My own face haunting me.

"And why are you afraid of being blond anyway? I take great offense to that" said Sarah lightly, trying to pull me out of my trance.

I smiled weakly, "I guess it doesn't suit my skin tone" I mumbled, trying my best to make it clear I don't want to talk about it.

With it being the last night before the holidays, and given that almost everyone was staying in Hogwarts, they were all up celebrating in the common room. I couldn't force myself to do that so I just went to my dorm without a word to anyone.

As I sat in my four-posters and closed the curtains, I knew it's going to be a sleepless night.

The eyes, they were the only thing similar between me and the Boggart, besides the facial features. But they were the thing that haunted me the most. They shouldn't, everything else was wrong with it, everything else was pointing to her. But when I stared into my own eyes in the Boggart, that was two most obvious signs that I share blood with her. They infiltrated me with doubt. At first glimpse you'd think they're cold, stone cold eyes that never knew empathy. But they're not, you could see it, the fire inside the urges to burn everyone around, the fire that screams "it's not fair!". The one that makes you clench your fists in an attempt to not break the people in front of you for being better, happier, for having everything you've ever dreamed of in the palm of their hands without even trying to get it. For making you hate those people once then hating yourself a million times. Then ending up burning you to ashes for ever wishing to be enough.

And you know why you first think it's cold? Because it is, it's a cold slow fire, it doesn't just burn and eats you alive like normal fire does. Instead, it takes it's time, it tortures you, drives you insane very slowly till you beg for it to finish you off...but it doesn't.

And I know that fire, I know it all too well, I've seen it in her eyes before, but somehow, I've never seen it so purely naked in my own eyes before today. Has it always been that way? Or was that a prediction of how I'll be? Was that just me? Maybe I'm not blond, maybe I don't have her distasteful expression. But deep inside, maybe I'm her, maybe I'm the wrong sibling, the one that survives while the other doesn't. Only to be the worst version of herself there is.

I should be hated, I should be despised like she is. Why does anyone ever bother to be my friend, they shouldn't, not with all the fire inside me towards them.

I think about how to this day I still see Ginny as the girl that has everything I want, I still sometimes struggle with myself to not act hostile against her. I remember the way I looked at her in the dress shop. The way I was constantly comparing myself to her, the way I hated how perfect she is, it burned me, seeing her like that. Why would she ever be my friend? I don't deserve to have a friend like her, just like Petunia never deserved a sister.

Remember when I said it'll be a sleepless night? It is. For reasons I completely didn't expect.

"Get up" said Ginny suddenly, opening the curtains on my four-poster like she was trying to rip them. I jumped in my place, quickly wiping the few tears on my face, "good, you're awake, get up!"

"What?! Why?" I asked in bewilderment, trying to hide the shiver in my voice and compose myself, glad that it was too dark for her to see my face.

"We're doing something. I got the cloak" she said firmly.

My eyes widened as she handed me it, "did you just steal the cloak from Harry?!" I asked, aghast.

"I just borrowed it! Besides, it's yours too" she tried to explain.

"Oh, so you stole the cloak from Harry and me?"

"We need it, alright?! I know where the dorm is and I wasn't in a mood to be interrogated if I asked for it, come on!" She said urgently, actively pulling me out of bed.

"Alright, alright, where are we going?"

"Just come on, I'll tell you on the way"

"It's cold!" I complained in a whisper, holding the cloak tightly around me, my footsteps echoing on the floor in the deserted corridor.

"Stop pulling at the cloak! You're already taller, you'll expose me"

"Well I'm so sorry for being tall" I whispered sarcastically.

"You should've gotten a cloak if you're so cold"

"You forcefully pulled me out of my warm bed, you should be the one bringing a cloak" I whispered back in annoyance.

"Just stop talking, we're going to get caught like this"

"At least tell me why I'm going to get detention tonight. I'd rather be informed while my first day of the holidays gets ruined"

she stayed silent for a while after that. It was very dark and deserted, our whispers echoed no matter how quiet we were trying to be. i had been following her lead aimlessly for more than ten minutes now. i was still kind of processing what was happening but somehow i was already in the middle of nowhere in the castle at midnight. Still, Ginny seemed desperate to do something, if whatever that is cost us detention so be it. Also I'm not entirely sure I have a choice in the matter.

"we're going to Moody's office" her whisper was almost inaudible, she wasn't meeting my eyes.

I take it back! I take everything i just thought back, it's absolutely not worth it. my heart dropped in my throat. "Bloody hell! Are you mad?" I whispered furiously.

CRASH!

Before Ginny could try and explain, we heard a crash that sounded like broken glass. it echoed through the silent castle like thunder. we both froze in our place. my mind was running like wildfire, trying to figure out what that might've been. but before i could think of anything to do, another crashing sound came, it was even closer. Then a high-pitched meow came, almost like a howl. i could think of two cats who could be patrolling the school corridors at night, i don't like either possibilities.

On a quick whim, i took hold of Ginny's wrist and pulled both of us into the closest cupboard on our right and shut the door.

"We're already invisible!" whispered Ginny.

"You never know" I whispered back.

We took turns looking through the keyhole. the sounds of crashing glass and frightened meows continued to get closer. it was so loud i wondered if it would wake the whole castle up.

"There!" whispered Ginny as something came into view. she offered me the keyhole. turns out, Peeves had been chasing Mrs. Norris with a bunch of plates in his hands. he zoomed in above her and kept smashing them, trying to aim at her.

It seemed like a long chase, they kept running up and down the corridor we we're locked in.

"Do we risk getting out?" whispered Ginny.

"You mean risk getting caught or risk getting a concussion?"

She sighed heavily and slid to the floor. sitting with her knees folded in front of her. "when they're done, tell me" she said quietly. I could almost see the mad determination she had earlier seep from inside her.

"What are we doing here, Ginny?" I asked in exasperation, sitting next to her.

she stayed quiet for several seconds.

listening to the constant crashing outside.

"Riddle" she spoke the name like suicide sentence. I furrowed eyebrows in confusion. "The Boggart...it was him...Tom Riddle"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, I didn't expect that. the young man that stood in front of her earlier today seemed so...trustworthy. he looked like someone confident, someone you'd want to listen to, to ask for advice. he looked like the star teenager that everybody would've loved and fell for. a chill went down my spine at the thought. that was Voldemort standing in front of me earlier today and I didn't even know. a younger version of him, yes, but still. that was my parents' murderer standing there with a pitying smile on his face.

"I don't know why Moody stopped me...but i'm not going to lose to him again. not again" continued Ginny, her tone turning painfully bitter. "he was looking at me like that and all of a sudden i'm weak again, alone again...like I'm just a child who needs his help again..."

"Ginny..." I whispered, unable to comfort her in any way.

"I told him everything, Emma...everything. things that i couldn't even admit to myself. you don't know the way he speaks...he's just so convincing, he listened, he listened so intently like all of my twelve year old worries were relevant to him...like I was relevant to him. and the more I opened up the weaker I felt. I felt tarnished, incomplete. and so very alone. it was like poison, i tell him more and I lose a part of myself, so I feel the need for company. which he provides oh so graciously. so I lose more of myself. a never ending cycle that could've taken me as a whole if it wasn't for Harry" I could see her eyes glinting in the glimpse of light seeping through the door. that was most unusual for her. she had never told me that much detail about it, she usually even avoids the topic. with every word she uttered, I hated myself more. all of this, how alone she was...that was my fault, because of how pathetic I am. I envied her so much that I couldn't even be a decent human being. I couldn't bear be that company she needed. and yet, after all she suffered because of that, she never blamed me. she'd stand by me while I go ahead and keep being ignorant and wish everything good she has for myself. I wish I could've been a better friend. I wish I wasn't that spiteful. I wish I was Lily...not Petunia.

the crashing and meowing sounds have stopped for a while now. I swallowed my saliva and got up, checking from the keyhole if there was anyone around.

"Are they gone?" asked Ginny, her voice a bit choked up.

"Yes" I whispered, taking the cloak off the floor and dusting it off.

"Let's just go back to the tower then, I'm sorry I dragged you out here" she mumbled, getting up.

"Excuse me?! What are you? a ravenclaw?" I said, raising my eyebrows. it was my only opportunity to gain even a shred of respect for myself tonight.

"What?!" she asked, almost offended. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you're going to go face that stupid Boggart whether you like it or not. you're not weak and we both know that, he wants you to think that but you. are. not" I said firmly, offering her the cloak, "now come on"

This was probably one of the most stupid decisions I made in my life, and if you know me, that mean a lot. But I couldn't stand there watching her hurt so much and do nothing, even if I was the one that mostly hurt her in the first place.

We made our way to the lion's den, my heart beating fast with every step we take. I could only imagine what a frenzy, doubting man like that protects his office with. I wouldn't even dare entertain the possibility of him catching us.

"I'm going to unlock the door with my wand, then we're both going to run back, alright? Just in case" said Ginny, pointing her wand to the door steadily, her other hand in mine, we were both ready to run upon the first attack. I nodded firmly.

"Alohomora" she whispered and we both ran almost half a mile to the back, keeping our hands tightly on both the cloak and each other.

Nothing happened. That was even more alarming than any excessive security measure that could've happened. We shared a scared look, I wasn't about to turn back though.

Very slowly and cautiously, Ginny and I approached the door. It creeked when we passed through it.

The place was dunked in utter darkness. I remember how it used to be when it was Remus's office, I wonder if it's that much changed.

"Lumos" I mumbled, my wand lit up.

"Watch out!" Exclaimed Ginny pulling me away as a jet of silver light came from somewhere and almost caught my neck.

"What was that?!" I breathed, terrified.

"I don't kn-" suddenly, another jet of light came from a different place, we both ducked just in time for it to hit the floor instead. We heard it sizzling and saw a black burnt mark on the floor.

My mind was frozen for a second staring at the mark that was left on the wooden floor. i had no idea what kind of spell did that and what's worse, who's the caster?

"Protego!" said Ginny as another jet came from somewhere else in the room, the flash of light dissipated before it could reach us but it broke the shield charm so that I had to pull Ginny away before the next one got to her.

"what kind of security charm is th-Protego!" as I cast the spell, the light from my wand shone on the corner of the room where the wardrobe we saw this afternoon was stored. I motioned for Ginny to go ahead.

"I can't open it with the stupid- Protego- spells hauling from everywhere" she objected.

"Just go, I'll cover your back" I said, dissipating one more jet coming her way.

"Are you sure?" asked Ginny, still not moving from my side.

"You got me out of my warm bed for this, didn't you?" I said in irritation, slightly ushering her towards the wardrobe.

"yes, but..." she hesitated, staring between the wardrobe and me. I kept blocking spells left and right, not knowing where the next one would come from, I cursed Moody a million times for his extra protection measures.

"GINNY!" I bellowed impatiently, not caring that someone might hear us now as I barely evaded another jet of light before it hit my leg.

She finally started stepping towards the wardrobe. I took a step back, looking back at her every now and then. I kept getting closer to her without letting my guard down, so that I don't leave enough clear space between us for the charm to get to her. I glanced at her upon the shaking light out of my wand. her hands were shaking as she reached for the wardrobe. I was getting impatient but I decided against pressuring her even more. I was getting more anxious with every spell I cast. the jets were very random and unexpected, but they seemed to be appearing at faster rate now. I had to remember not to duck so that she won't get hurt. What worried me the most was what could happen if Moody came before we could get out of here. that was an even worse fate than getting burned by the charm, at least in my opinion.

"So you can't face me without a Potter protecting you anymore? I must say, I'm deeply hurt, little girl" the cold voice from behind me almost made me freeze. a jet of light almost caught my thigh because of how the chilling voice bewildered me. I risked looking behind me for a second. and of course, here he was, The young man from earlier. looking so much more exposed in the unstable darkness, like he was born out of the terror of shadows. Standing there with a subtle smirk on his face, towering over Ginny. I wish I could see her face, but she had her back to me. and I couldn't look properly with the spells still hailing over me.

"I'm not a little girl...and...and I'm n-not scared of you" said Ginny, her voice shaking slightly.

"Oh I certainly hope not, after all, why would you be scared of me. I never hurt you, it's her that always did"

I had a vague feeling he was gesturing at me, I wasn't particularly thrilled to be part of this conversation. so I decided to stay quiet and focus on the task at hand. I gripped my wand tightly in my hands as i kept blocking the attack.

"You were trying to murder me, you used me" said Ginny, she was trying so hard to have her voice come out cold and steady. but i could still hear the shiver in it, I wanted to help, do something, but all I could do is run around and try to stop the constant office attack.

"Oh, kid, that wasn't me..." he said, his voice velvety, it felt like a sweet trap. "you've got it all wrong, i'm not the one that tricked you...it was him, Potter...he's not still ignoring you, is he?"

I felt sick without even meeting his eyes, I gripped my wand tightly as I felt like the charm was almost zeroing in on us, every jet getting more precise as I tried to block them.

"Ginny, don- Protego- don't listen to him, you know- Protego- you know the spell" I said without turning to her.

"Y-yes, I know it, I know the spell, R-Ridicu-"

"Do you really want me gone? Is that how it is now? You really think I would ever hurt you?" What made me shiver more is that his voice sounded sincere. Just genuinely hurt. Oh, how I want to just turn around and hail all kind of curses at him, but I knew that's not how it worked. And I knew Ginny would handle it... probably. "I'm your friend Ginny. Only your friend, I'm nothing more...do you believe her to be your friend? Surely you don't, right? Isn't she the one that made you come to me in the first place? Do you believe she loves you? Do you?"

This night when I went to bed, I thought I could never hate myself more. Turns out I can.

The lack of response from Ginny's side was what really worried me. I risked another glance back. She was just standing there, barely holding her wand, looking up at riddle.

"Ridiculous" I heard her mumble. I felt relief take all over me, I looked back again but Riddle was still standing there with a smirk on his face. Nothing had happened.

"See, you don't want me gone, do you? Or you don't know how to do it. That's okay, I know you always need some help"

"No, I don't" said Ginny, her tone unsure. "Ridiculous"

Nothing happened still. I was starting to get tired, my wrist getting sore from blocking the spells, I didn't know how long I could keep it up.

"Just take it slow, don't tire yourself out, kid"

"I am not!" Retorted Ginny in irritation.

That was her actual fear, what he was doing right now, making her feel alone, making her feel weak, making her look weak.

I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me, just to realize I had missed a spell. It grazed Ginny's arm, she was bleeding. I cursed myself and turned back, kept blocking what I can.

"Ginny! Listen- Protego- to me" I said, my voice winded, "you are not- Protego- alone anymore, he can't- Protego- control you- Protego.

You. Are. Not. Alone"

I wished desperately she'd listen to me, I wished it'd mean something to her.

She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. Then I could barely see her straighten up and hold her wand tighter.

"Oh you're going to believe her? Tsk, tsk, I don't think that's very wise, ki-"

"Ridiculous!" She cut him off, her voice sharp this time, sure.

I glanced behind me and saw Riddle had shrunk to half his size... actually, no, he shrunk to half Ginny's size, he looked about six or seven and was looking around in confusion. I chuckled as I went back to blocking the attack.

"Ridiculous!" Said Ginny again and his whole body was covered in what looked like crayon marks.

"Ridiculous!" He had a diaper on, and was trying to speak but his voice came out all thin. Thinner than even normal kid voice.

"Look who's a helpless child now?" Said Ginny, she started laughing, I did too without even seeing everything. We were both forcing the laughter. But we kept going. He kept shrinking in his place, his voice getting thinner and weaker. Till he finally dissipated into nothing.

Ginny and I kept going back to back, blocking the spells until we were finally outside. We forced the door closed with a thud.

I sagged against the door, my face in my palms, trying to regain my breath. My right wrist was very sore, I kept taking in breaths, trying to calm myself. I couldn't look away from my hands, I didn't want to look at her, I didn't want to hate myself anymore than I do right now.

But suddenly, she hugged me, I froze, still winded. Then slowly hugged her back. I knew she was partially trying to hide her tears from me. Letting people see her cry wasn't really in Ginny's handbook.

"Thank you" she whispered. I wanted to apologize, I wanted to say so many things, I wanted to tell her how little I deserve that gratitude. But I couldn't, so I just hugged her back tighter.

"Let me see your arm" I mumbled, pulling back. She had a gash just below her should, it had cut through her shirt.

"It doesn't hurt that much, I promise, it barely touched me"

I nodded, whispered the simple incantation for cuts that I know wishing it'd work.

It did, the cut healed instantly. I sighed in relief.

"You know I knew Moody was paranoid but I didn't imagine he'd be that much paranoid" she said as we covered ourselves in the cloak again.

"You know...I might be completely wrong but I actually think it was too easy...I expected more from Moody" I Whispered.

"I don't know...do you have any idea what charm was that?"

"I don't know" I shrugged, "I'll try to look it up later"

We walked in silence for a few minutes, trying to make as little noise as possible.

"Do you feel better... having dealt with him" I whispered so quietly that I doubted she heard me even though we were crammed together under the cloak. She did though.

"I never thought I'd have to meet him again" she whispered after staying quiet for a little while. "And for him to be my worst fear...that didn't feel great"

"I bet it didn't...but you faced him, that counts for something, doesn't it?"

She nodded and stayed quiet for a few seconds before speaking again, "Emma?"

"Yes?"

"What was your Boggart? What did it mean?"

I tensed, clenching my fists instantly. I closed my eyes for a second trying to come up with some lie that might explain it. I couldn't.

"It's just...I..." I tried to say anything but nothing came out. I tried to convince myself that out of all people, Ginny was the one I could tell about this. But again, out of all people, Ginny is also the one who shouldn't know about this. As much as I think I deserve to be hated for it, I can't bear the idea of it. I can't bare the idea of losing her to my own selfishness and envious nature. I can't bare the idea of losing her to Petunia.

"It's alright" she whispered when I stayed quiet for a while.

"No, I...I want to tell you, it's just..."

"It's alright..." she repeated. We had gotten to the portrait. I don't even remember how we got here.

———————————

Author's note:

wait, wait, wait...let me put on another song.

I hate it here~ Taylor Swift

it's my birthday!...a month ago...

which is when this chapter should've been published but as you can see, I procrastinated again.

but that's okay because now it's November which means that it had been a year since I woke up at night and wrote the worst two chapters known to man kind, my first two. which means two things:

one, time really flies too fast and two, I write really slow...like really slow.

so to anyone who actually bared with me through this...I'm truly grateful for it.

this past year had been almost the worse in my life. and I'm so glad that when it got too dark for me, I was able to run here. that I was able to vent, escape all this through words of my own that I shared with the world with no intention except to feel useful. to feel like I'm doing something when everything tells me I'm not good enough. to have some characters in my head be able to get out on a blank page and be as wild as they can because I couldn't do that for myself.

so thank you for anyone who cared to indulge my little story here. it means more than you think for me.

here is to wishing it doesn't take me another year to write the next twenty four chapters.