Merry Christmas, please don't call~ Bleachers
The holidays finally came around, layers of snow piled on the Hogwarts grounds, covering it completely. But the usual quiet, deserted, cold halls of the castle at that time weren't there this year; instead, there were hundreds of students decking the halls and the grounds with unreasonable excitement and glee taking over them. Well...most of them.
"Why are you upset right now? You wanted to go; now you can, I said to Ginny as we walked out of class.
"Not withNeville!" She groaned.
"Why did you say yes then?"
"Because I want to go."
"You're giving me a headache," I said exasperated. "Where is Sarah anyway? She was just with us a minute ago, wasn't she?"
Ginny shrugged absentmindedly, "No idea; maybe she went off somewhere."
As I looked around me, searching for Sarah, I noticed we were surrounded by boys. All around, almost only boys, and they were increasing as we moved forward, crowding the place. Which meant only one thing: we had unfortunately fallen in the radius of attraction of the one and only Fleur Delacour.
Sure enough, as I cast my sight ahead, she was standing there at the end of the corridor talking to Cedric Diggory.
Ginny nudged me, "Let's get out of here," she muttered. I agreed, trying to shuffle through to the next exit corridor. But just as we were about to do so, we heard a collective ooohhh from the crowd around us. That was always a good sign in Hogwarts, right? We both looked back to find everyone staring at Fleur and someone else in front of her.Ron.
He seemed to be frozen, staring at her. I didn't understand if he was talking to her or why everyone suddenly made that noise. But suddenly, Ron turned on his heels and shuffled away through the exit we were going to use just now, almost running out of the place.
Ginny and I exchanged looks, unsure of what had just happened. When everyone got over the incident and started chattering and raving about Fleur once again. We followed him without a word.
"Oh, and what did she say?" said Ginny to Ron back in the common room, good thing he wasn't particularly looking at either of our faces because we were both holding our laughter so barely that if anyone saw us, they'd think someone put a face twitching charm on our faces.
"She didn't say anything; she just stared at me!" He groaned; Ginny and I nodded sympathetically like we hadn't just witnessed the scene.
"I have no idea what came over me; why did I do that?! Who does that?!"
Ginny kept patting his shoulder as he wallowed miserably. Until his partner in misery arrived looking vaguely woeful.
Harry kept reassuring Ron for a while. Ginny and I were struggling immensely to hold back our laughter. Avoiding each other's eyes so we won't suddenly explode or something. But then Harry mentioned that he had just asked Chang to the ball and saved Ginny from her struggles. The frown on her face was almost as deep as Ron's now. Neither boy seemed to notice, though.
At least now we know why Harry had been turning down all those girls.
"This is mad," said Ron. "We're the only ones left who haven't got anyone—well, except Neville. Hey—guess who he asked?Hermione!"
"What?" said Harry, completely distracted by this startling news.
"Yeah, I know!" said Ron, some of the colour coming back into his face as he started to laugh. "He told me this afternoon! Said she's always been really nice, helping him out with work and stuff...but she told him she was already going with someone. Ha! As if! She just didn't want to go with Neville... I mean, who would?"
"Don't!" said Ginny, annoyed. "Don't laugh—" her face was falling more by the second, her ears turned red. I nudged Harry because he was closer, glaring at both of them as they grinned like idiots.
Just then Hermione climbed in through the portrait hole.
"Why weren't you two at dinner?" She said, coming over to join them.
"Because—oh, shut up laughing, you two—because they've both just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball!" said Ginny.
That shut Harry and Ron up. Also, that was it for holding it in; I snickered.
"Thanks a bunch, Ginny," said Ron sourly.
"All the good-looking ones taken, Ron?" said Hermione loftily. "Eloise Midgen is starting to look quite pretty now, is she? Well, I'm sure you'll find someone somewhere who'll have you."
But Ron was staring at Hermione as though suddenly seeing her in a whole new light.
"Hermione, Neville's right ... You are a girl..."
"Oh well spotted," she said acidly.
"Well... you can come with one of us!"
"No, I can't," snapped Hermione.
"Oh, come on," he said impatiently. "We need partners; we're going to look really stupid if we haven't got any; everyone else has..."
"I can't come with you," said Hermione, now blushing, "because I'm already going with someone."
"No, you're not!" said Ron. "You just said that to get rid of Neville!"
"Oh, did I?" said Hermione, and her eyes flashed dangerously. "Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!"
Ron stared at her. Then he grinned again. "Okay, okay, we know you're a girl," he said. What does that do? Will you come now?"
"I've already told you!" Hermione said very angrily. "I'm going with someone else!" And she stormed off toward the girls' dormitories again.
"She's lying," said Ron flatly, watching her go.
"She's not," I said pointedly. Hermione had already told us about Krum. It was actually pretty sweet. All the fame and huge frame and stuff, and he was too anxious to even ask her. She should've known, though; Quidditch players don't usually spend more than half an hour a week in the library unless they're sneaking in there to sleep between classes. Or they're Harry and Hermione is making him.
"Who is it then?" said Ron sharply.
"we're not telling you; it's her business," said Ginny.
"Right," said Ron, who looked extremely put out. "This is getting stupid. Ginny, you can go with Harry, and I'll just—"
"I can't," said Ginny, and she went scarlet. "I'm going with... with Neville. He asked me when Hermione said no, and I thought...well...I'm not going to be able to go otherwise..." She looked extremely miserable. "I think I'll go and have dinner," she said, and she got up and walked off to the portrait hole, her head bowed.
I stared after her, my eyes wide. What just happened? Did Ginny actually just get the chance to go with Harry andturn it down? She didn't even hesitate. Was she abducted? Is that even Ginny, or was she replaced by a vampire? Should I cover my bed with garlic tonight just in case?
Ron goggled at Harry. "What's got into them?" he demanded. Then he turned to me, "So would you go with me, or did Goyle already ask you?"
"No, I kept asking him, but he said I'm too short for him."
He rolled his eyes at me. I smiled, then thought about it for five seconds, and it filled me with dread. He had just asked Fleur Delacour,Fleur Delacour. granted it was one of the stupidest things he ever did (which says a lot), but still, it had probably spread through school by now. How embarrassing would it be for him to ask bloody Fleur Delacour and then show up with... well... me? The idea of being stared at all night like that is horrific for me. And although this was probably the only chance I'll get to go to the ball. The idea filled with so much anxiety it was unbearable.
"Well, Ron, I hate to be the third girl to turn you down in the last fifteen minutes, but I'm not going. It's too much of a hassle, and I don't even have anything to wear..." I lied, fidgeting with my hands, "Trust me, it's better if you go alone than with me."
Ron groaned dramatically.
I sighed, "I'm really sorry..." I said, surprisingly sincerely, "Now I'll leave you two to read some self-help books about dealing with rejection or something. I'm going to dinner; I have to eat a lot of garlic bread for safety reasons.
When I got to dinner, I sat next to Ginny, my eyes scanning the room for Sarah, who was still missing. Ginny was stabbing her food miserably.
"What just happened? I thought for sure you'd jump at the chance to go with Harry," I asked her.
"I can't do that! I already gave Neville a word, and he seemed pretty excited too; I wasn't about to go tell him I reconsidered just because Harry asked me... oh, right, he didn't even do that; Ron did it for him" There was a serious possibility of her fork bending in the plate because of how much force she was applying to it.
"Ginny, that's... surprisingly mature..."
She eyed me sourly. "Thank you, as long as you think I'm mature," she said, rolling her eyes.
"You know what I mean!"
She sighed, "Yes, alright, I do...besides, you were right; I don't want to go with him just because he couldn't find someone better...or becauseChangrejected him." The way she said her name made me think that in Ginny's mind the plate she was stabbing was actually Chang's face. I didn't press the topic.
"Well, I think you'll have fun; you and Neville are friends after all."
She nodded. Visibly calming down a bit. Then she seemed to realise something and jumped up. "I have to send to Mum that I need a dress by tomorrow; she'll lose it!" and scurried off to the owlery. I made a mental note to send Mrs. Weasley my own letter after dinner.
I spent the rest of the day working on some potions with Fred and George. They were starting to experiment with random students since the beginning of the holidays. Before long, all the Gryffindors had learnt to treat food anybody else offered them with extreme caution, in case it had a Canary Cream concealed in the center. They were now working on a new item and I was supposed to stop it from causing permanent damage. That was a pretty hard job. I tried to get Harry to fall for it a few times, but he had stopped accepting food from me since I was eight (I went through a phase where I gave everyone sweets filled with hot sauce from the inside. Dudley cried once). Anyway, it's safe to say the holidays were treating me well. Kind of.
When I woke up on Christmas morning. I found the usual little pile of presents next to my bed. I got up excitedly and started unwrapping them.
"Get up, you two! Presents!" I exclaimed. Ginny jumped up at the mention of presents while Sarah groaned and covered her face with the sheets.
I scouted through the packages. Taking out the fudge Mrs. Weasley had sent, I took a few bites and was in the process of taking out my sweater; it had pretty white flowers all over it, it always does, when I heard Ginny exclaim. "What's that?!" she asked in confusion. Holding the purple, flowy material.
"My present," I shrugged.
"Emma, that'syourdress," she said in annoyance.
"Come on, Ginny, you know it looks great on you, and I'm probably never going to wear it."
"No way, I can't accept this," she said firmly, crossing the room and dropping it on my bed.
"Don't be stupid," I said, taking it and pushing it back into her arms. "I want you to have it. You're the one going to the ball; it looks good on you. There's no reason for you not to have it."
"I don't have enough money for a dress like that, you know that!"
"Is that right? Well," I said, taking out the sweater and pulling it over my head, "Idon't have a mom to knit me a sweater."
"You shouldn't say things like that! How am I supposed to argue with you when you say things like that?" she said in irritation.
"Exactly why I said it," I shrugged.
Ginny glared at me, the dress still in her arms. Then she suddenly hugged me. I got over my two seconds of freezing quicker this time. I hugged her back.
"You're an idiot...thank you," she mumbled.
"Shut up," I mumbled back.
She pulled away brightly. "I have to go send to Mom that I don't need a dress anymore."
"Don't worry about it; I already told her."
"Of course you did," she rolled her eyes.
"You two are being too disgustingly sentimental right now," groaned Sarah, finally getting up to check her presents.
"Excuse me? We were both perfectly stoic a couple of years ago. This is the Taylor effect," said Ginny.
Sarah didn't answer and kept opening her presents. I could swear something was wrong with her. The past couple of days she had been far quieter than she had been in... well, ever. I convinced myself that I'm overreacting and started scouting my pile for the usual rectangular shape of Conan's book. It was nowhere to be seen. I looked over again in confusion until I found a little package with his name on it. It was too small to be a book. When I opened it, there was a bracelet in there. I cursed under my breath. Becausebloody hell,this is pretty. So pretty and unexpected. The theme of little white flowers was apparently agreed on between Mrs. Weasley and Conan. Several of them were scattered across the bracelet. I cursed again as I slipped it around my wrist because why did my stomach feel like it was being scratched from the inside?
No, I'm overreacting. It's pretty, yes. Unusual, sure. But it's not that big of a deal, right?
People were way too loud all day. The excitement that started the moment the ball was announced has snowballed, and this was its last stage. The way everyone talked about it made me almost regret turning Ron down,almost.
"My hair looks ridiculous," muttered Ginny before the Yule Ball was supposed to start by about an hour.
"No, it doesn't," I said automatically without taking my eyes off my book. Sarah was, once again, nowhere to be seen. This was starting to really bother me. Was she mad she's not going? All through the wait up to the dance. I had never expected Ginny to be the one to go rather than Sarah. Not just because she was the one who'd been asked plenty of times, but this kind of thing was way more in Sarah's lane. She's popular for a reason; she likes people, most of them. And unlike either Ginny or I, she could easily be nice to anyone she meets. That's the reason she's always loved in every circle you put her in. No one has any idea why she wouldn't go with anyone, though. It baffled me. I knew she wanted to go; I'm sure she'd enjoy it even. And yet, she kept turning down anyone that asked.
"It does look ridiculous! It won't stop acting out."
"Well, it'syourhair; what did you expect?"
"Nice, that's exactly what I need right now, for you to get smart on me," she said in exasperation. By now I had given up on reading and was just fidgeting with my bracelet.
"Calm down, okay? You look good," I muttered.
"Everyone there is going to be older than me... I can't believe I got myself into that!"
I sighed and got up, making my way to her across the dorm. "Calm down," I repeated, "You look alright, and you're going to enjoy yourself, okay? It's just a stupid dance; everyone is extremely overreacting. Just have fun," I said while trying my best to fix her hair. The one I thought already looked perfect.
"I mean, as long as you say so," she said sarcastically. I tugged at a strand of her hair in response. She gasped and slapped my hand away.
"Have you seen Sarah since this morning?" I asked.
"No, I haven't... I really hoped she would be going, though; I'd feel less stupid if she did.
I had to admit, she was right; if Sarah was going, this would all have been much more fun and lighter. "It's good you're starting to realise how stupid you are."
"Are you being mean for some particular reason?"
"No, just the usual," I shrugged.
After Ginny was off, I sat in the common room watching it get emptier and emptier. It felt a bit eerie. I stared at the dying fire; the faint crackle was audible. It rarely is. Almost everyone in their fourth year or above was going to the Yule Ball. The ones younger than fourth year were either asked to the ball or home for the holidays. So, given that I wasn't asked and don't really have the word "home" in my vocabulary, I was now sitting in an almost deserted common room. There were a couple of third-year girls sitting in a corner before they too went up to their dorms.
Don't get me wrong, though; I wasn't wallowing in sadness amidst the cliché of the sad girl that was left out of the dance. I refuse to ever be a part of this scene. But to be honest, sitting in a deserted common room wasn't improving my image that much. Also, I was bored. Everyone was just so excited, and then they just left. The night feels a bit...charged.
Feeling restless, I got up and decided to find Sarah. I had no idea where she was, and in just about an hour it was going to be curfew for anyone not in the ball. Besides, there was something clearly wrong with her; maybe I can finally find out.
I grabbed a cloak, blew off the rest of the fire, and left the common room to its ghosts. The moment I got out, I froze through. Conan was standing right outside the portrait. Likerightoutside it, I almost bumped into him. We both stared at each other for a minute.
"Erm...what are you doing here?" I asked, confused. I bit my lip; that might've sounded like I didn't want him here. That couldn't be further from the truth.
"I... erm... I was just..." he started sheepishly, rubbing his hand on his neck, "I just thought I'd come and find you... I mean, you're... you have nothing to do tonight, do you?"
I stared at him for a second, pulling my cloak tighter on my shoulder. "No, I don't... How did you even know where our common room is?"
"I have my ways," he shrugged. I grinned.
"Have you seen Sarah? I was looking for her".
"I have actually, we were together all day."
"Were you?" I raised my eyebrows. "Is she alright? She's rarely around those past few days..."
"She seemed okay to me; she's off somewhere with some of her friends," he said reassuringly.
I nodded, then swallowed for a second, still fidgeting with my cloak. "You said you were looking for me?"
"Right, yes..." he said, running his hand through his hair, "I was just...remember last year...when we were talking about Sirius Black and the dementors?"
I furrowed my eyebrows, confused about why he was bringing this up, then nodded for him to continue.
"You told me not to try and sneak out of school because of the dementors..."
"And you said we can try when Black was caught..." I continued.
"Well, Black hasn't been caught, but there are no Dementors anymore, and all the teachers are busy at the Yule Ball..."
I stared at him for a second, not wanting to believe what he was getting at. "...Are you suggesting we sneak out?" I spoke, my voice getting quieter.
Even in the darkness of the hallway, I could see the slight flush of his cheeks. "I mean... we'll be careful..." he said sheepishly, "if you want to..."
"Well, how can I turn this down? Conan Walker breaking rules? it's a sight to behold.
"You know you act like you know me so well, but I might still surprise you."
I grinned mischievously. "I know a secret passageway that'll get us to Hogsmeade... You might not like it, though," I said.
"Let me be the judge of that."
Not even fifteen minutes later, Conan was standing in the grounds, frozen from both the cold and horror.
"Emma, I'm going to ask you just once...what are we doing at The Whomping Willow?" He asked, his hand holding my arm cautiously like he expected me to run into the Willow if he let go.
"I told you, you wouldn't like it."
"You're very perceptive. I do not fancy death that much. What gave it away?"
I extended my wand and shot a few spots in the roots of the tree. I wasn't completely sure where it was; Hermione had showed me before, but it didn't stick.
"What are you doing?" inquired Conan.
"Don't you trust me?"
That got him to stay silent; I kept shooting at various parts and knots in the roots until I finally hit the spot. The tree stilled. Conan gaped at me wide-eyed.
"W-What did you do?" He asked, looking at the still tree, then at me, then at the tree again.
"It's a long story...don't ask about it," I said vaguely, then took his hand and started guiding him towards the tree. He followed me anxiously, looking around in alarm in case the tree branches started to thrust everywhere again. I also looked around, but just to make sure no one had spotted us. We weren't exactly properly concealed, but most of the staff were either at the ball or securing the grounds just outside it. We were on the other side of the grounds, near the deserted Quidditch field. It looked sad. Not being used all year. Just sitting, completely deserted, useless.
"We're supposed to crawl in here?" asked Conan, standing right over the tunnel leading to the shrieking shack.
I looked up at the sky; a stupid voice in me told me to check if the moon was full. Of course, that won't matter. Remus wasn't here; he hadn't transformed here in roughly seventeen years. Nonetheless, I stared at a half-shining moon, last quarter phase. "You didn't answer me."I said quietly to Conan.
"Answer what?"
"I asked you if you trusted me..."
He smiled, tightened his hold on my hand, and said quietly but sincerely, "I do."
"Follow me..." I said and started crawling down the tunnel. I felt him instantly follow me.
It was dark, really dark. I kept doubting myself as I went ahead, but it was too late now; I was doing something stupid and enjoying it, unfortunately. We both slid down an earthy slope to the bottom of the tunnel. It was very low. I stood up, instantly lighting my wand. Conan slid out just a second later. I helped him up, then let my hand linger in his once again.
We started walking, bent almost double as we did. "This tunnel ends in Hogsmeade?" asked Conan.
"Yes," I mumbled, "not exactly though; it gets us somewhere inside Hogsmeade."
"You're being way too vague today; why do I keep following you again?"
I grinned at him; the tunnel was very tight to begin with. I was becoming aware of how close we were, pressed together, almost crouching down, our hands still intertwined. I was glad for the darkness hiding my flushed face at this moment.
The tunnel began to rise, then it twisted, and we could see a patch of light through an open door. I slowly pulled him forward with me, raising my wand to better see my surroundings.
It was a room, a very disordered, dusty room. Paper was peeling from the walls; there were stains all over the floor; every piece of furniture was broken as though somebody had smashed it. The windows were all boarded up.
"Where are we?" asked Conan, his voice hushed.
"The Shrieking Shack," I muttered, my eyes still glued to the various stains of blood and the smashed furniture.
"WHAT?" gasped Conan, "The haunted house?!"
"It's not haunted."
"Yes, it is; look around you!" He said in panic, started tugging me back to the tunnel.
"It's not," I repeated calmly.
"How do you know?"
"I just know, no questions, remember?"
He sighed, putting his hand over his face. "Is someone paying you to kill me?"
"Well, you came to me, not the other way around."
"What possessed me to do so, I'll never know," he said, exasperated.
"Come on, let's find the door," I said, finally managing to tear my eyes away from all the broken furniture. I tugged at Conan's hand, and we started looking around cautiously, our wands lit.
Every part of the house was torn apart. Broken furniture, bloodstains, and picture frames torn by obvious claw marks. Maybe I'm regretting taking Conan here, a little. Actually, I'm regretting coming here at all. But I kept telling myself that I'm just passing through; I kept tearing my eyes away from all the damages and stains. I couldn't fathom the darkness that this place had left on one of the few people I truly love in this world.
"There," said Conan, pointing with his wand at the entrance. I sighed in relief. We could finally get out of here.
As we were finally passing through the hallway to the front door, I noticed the broken shackles on the handle and wondered when or who had broken them. Suddenly, I felt something tug on my trousers. I looked down to find what looked like a broken-down piece of wood. A little branch of it had linked with the edge of my trousers. When Conan noticed me stop, he crouched down and untangled it.
"Cheers," I mumbled quietly. He was still staring at the wooden piece.
"Apparently animals also know it's not haunted," he said, smiling. I stared at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, that's an antler," he said, as if it was obvious.
My mouth hung open. The word falling like bricks on my heart. "H-How do you know?" I asked, my voice suddenly hoarse.
"We visit my grandfather's farm in the summer. There's plenty of wildlife all around it; stags start losing their antlers around this time of the year, actually."
I stared at it. My head getting a bit hazy. Most of its branches had fallen off. Parts of it had already decayed. Deteriorated to nothing. The remaining branches were covered in spider webs.
Don't think about it.
Don't think about it.
Don't think about it.
I kept repeating to myself, trying to remain calm, to keep myself rooted. My eyes were glued to it. My eyes started to sting, and I clenched my fists hard, begging myself not to let it affect me. At least not right now, not in front of Conan, not when I was trying to have some fun. I knew the scene would be glued to my mind. I knew it'd haunt me; I just wished that would happen later, just a delay on the breakdown, please,please.
"Emma? Are you alright?" asked Conan cautiously. My head was spinning; I couldn't take my eyes off the antler. I couldn't even think; I was frozen in place. "Emma," he repeated, gently putting a hand on my shoulder and trying to steer me out of the door.
It took every ounce of willpower in me to tear my eyes away. To let Conan pull me away and out of the door. The front porch creaked as we stepped on it. I closed my eyes as the cold air tickled my face. As expected, the sight of the antler was tattooed into my eyelids now. I clenched my fist. But for the first time ever, I was stopped. Conan took my hand and unfastened my fist, forcing his fingers between mine. I struggled not to let this one little action affect me even more. But it did; it really did. I held on to him like he was the only thing rooting me to sanity right now. I slowly opened my eyes; I wasn't surprised when a couple of tears lingered on my face. I reached to wipe them, but Conan's hand got there first. He wiped them gently, his thumb lingering on my cheek.
"I know you said no questions...I don't know what it is that upset you, but I'm sorry..." whispered Conan, taking my other hand in his.
"Don't be," I said hastily, hating how vulnerable I was being in front of him. "It's nothing; I'm being stupid—"
"You're not being stupid..."
I sighed, and I knew for a second there that I had lost control over this night. "You...erm...remember Professor Lupin, right?"
"Of course, I do," he said, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Do you know he's my godfather?"
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Seriously?"
I nodded.
We walked through the village for a while. We stopped at Madam Puddifoot's and got two cups of tea, but we didn't sit in. We got them and kept walking around, letting them warm our hands. During all this, I spilt my guts out. It's like something was torn in me and it all came out. To my credit, though, I left out the Pettigrew and Black of it all. I made it seem like it was only my dad and Remus; I didn't mention anything about what happened last year with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
"Your father was an illegal Animagus!" asked Conan, wiping a bit of the snow off a bench on the side of the street. We sat down; I handed him back his tea.
"Yes, he did it because he wanted to help Remus through full moons...his form was a... stag."
"Oh..." he breathed; I could see the realisation in his eyes.
"I don't know why, but I just... it bewildered me... seeing it." I took a sip of my tea when I felt my voice shivering, "I know he's gone; I know it doesn't matter...but I just can't help thinking about it...it's just a part of him...that still exists... I have no idea what it means, but it affected me more than it should." My eyes were fixed on Conan's eyes. A brown so deep it's going to swallow me. It's like staring into a deep pit that calls for you to finally slip and fall in. And honestly, I was so close to the edge already.
"But that's not the only part of him that still exists...there's a part that's still here; it's better than anything else," he said quietly, putting down his paper cup on the bench next to him.
"What?" I muttered, not even registering what he's saying anymore. He reached and tucked my hair behind my ear. Moving it away from my face. He was so close I could feel his warm breath on my cold skin.
"You," he whispered.
I didn't really think, but when do I ever? I crossed the very little space between us and kissed him.
My mind was lagging. His wasn't though; it seemed like he was expecting it. He instantly kissed me back. His hand tangled in my hair then came to rest on my neck. Like he had been waiting for this moment for a while. I closed my eyes. His kiss was so unbelievably soft that despite the freezing weather around me, I could feel myself melting. His other hand came to rest on my cheek, his thumb tracing patterns on my face. My head was spinning with how perfect this was. If I was ever given the choice, I would choose for this moment to last for as long as I can stand or think. But it doesn't let me do either of those things.
Warmth. So much of it that I don't think my cold heart can handle it. I was almost scared the darkness in me would poison this, poison him.
He pulled away. Taking warm breaths on my face again. I opened my eyes and met his. I think I've fallen in the pit.
"By the way... I was going to tell you that I fancy you," he whispered, his hand still on my neck, his forehead against mine.
"You do? haven't noticed"
"Shut up," he mumbled and brought his lips back on mine.
We got ice cream in an attempt to challenge Hypothermia, kissed a few more times. Then we returned to Hogwarts; it was pretty late. The Yule Ball was probably ending by now. I walked him back to his house because if he could know where mine is, I should know where his is.
Now I might be overreacting, and I might be lovesick. But I swear, this could be the best night of my life. It clearly doesn't have a lot of competition, though. But that's alright; I was more than content. I could feel butterflies invade my stomach every time I thought about it. His touch, his lips, his eyes. Every part and every word. My head was spinning with very rare glee.
I couldn't believe we actually sneaked out all the way to Hogsmeade and back without even being close to getting caught. So, I decided to push my luck. I thought I'd pass by the great hall and see what was happening. I knew I couldn't get in anyway, but maybe I could get a few glimpses of the Weird Sisters.
It wasn't even hard to get there. A lot of the professors were outside, trying to get couples who wandered off on their own. I could get a bit nearer to the entrance; I could hear the music faintly; a slow song was playing. When I got too close that I might risk being spotted. I rounded a corner to what I thought would be a deserted corridor. It wasn't, though.
There were several girls, sitting on a staircase leading to an empty class. I should've known this was a scene that happens in any dance known to man. Some girls were crying, a few of their friends around each, trying to calm them down. I was going to retreat back when I noticed one of the girls.
Sitting all alone on the far edge of the staircase was Sarah. My heart dropped, remembering that the whole reason I went out today was essentially to look for her. I got closer and was relieved to see she wasn't crying, but she looked like she had been.
"Sarah?" I sat next to her; she looked at me, bewildered by my sudden appearance; she wiped tears that weren't there, which made me sure of my earlier suspicion.
"Emma...what are you doing here?" she said, putting on an extremely fake smile.
"Are you alright?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed in concern.
"Of course, I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?" She said in a failed attempt at cheerfulness, "Did you and Conan go out?"
"We... we did... kind of... how do you know that?"
She grinned weakly, "He told me weeks ago that he wanted to ask you out but didn't know how. I'm the one who told him where our house is."
I stared at her. "Seriously? And you kept it from me?"
She shrugged. "Did you have fun?"
"I... I did," I said with a smile. She smiled weakly and shifted her gaze to the floor. She wouldn't meet my eyes for some reason. I could see a look of misery that I hadn't seen on Sarah's face before. It baffled. Why was she here? Why had she been acting so distant? Why is she quiet like that? She's never quiet. The questions crowded my mind until a horrible thought occurred to me.
But that couldn't be, could it? The way she asked me about what we did tonight with a weak smile, the way she didn't pester me for details. I tried to reason with myself, maybe that's not it; maybe she was upset about something else. But the idea seemed bad enough that it lined up with my bad luck. So, it seemed very likely.
"Sarah," I said cautiously, my voice hoarse.
"Yes?"
"You don't fancy Conan, do you?" I asked, my heart beating faster than it should, every beat begging her to say no, begging it to not be true.
She sighed and covered her face with her hands. Dread filled me like a disease. She does. And all she did was help him get to me instead. How miserable could she be during all of it? With him talking to her about it all. The thought of losing Sarah for anything like that was tortuous. I knew without even considering it that I'd choose her. It didn't need much thinking. Not Sarah, not her.
"I fancy Neville," she muttered through her hands. Relief flooded me so strongly it could've knocked me over.
It was short-lived, though, because now I realised it. She was turning everyone down because she was waiting for him to ask her. Just for him to ask one of her closest friends instead. That must feel terrible. I knew she knew that he only asked Ginny because no one else wanted to go with him, but I don't think that was any consolation for her. I tried to come up with anything to say to make her feel better, but my head had gone blank. I reached and took her hand because that's the only thing I could think of doing.
I felt someone slide next to me on the staircase; it was Hermione, her expression similar to Sarah's. I sighed.
"What's it with you?"
She shook her head, clearly not wanting to talk.
"Did Krum do something? Just tell me; I'll deal with him.
She smiled weakly. "No,Krumwas perfect," she said pointedly.
I sighed; I didn't predict sitting with a bunch of wallowing girls when I woke up this morning. I would've loved to hate all boys with them, but I wasn't really in a state to do so right now.
I heard the faint music get louder. I recognised the song, and so did Sarah, even if she didn't show it. It was one of her favorites. She had kept playing it over and over last year like it was a broken record. It was a somewhat sad song, but its beat was pretty high.
I got up, pulling Sarah to her feet with me.
"What?!" she asked, reluctantly standing up. I took both of her hands and started moving. "What are you doing?" she asked, but she wasn't resisting.
"Dancing," I said matter-of-factly.
She rolled her eyes. "Why?"
"Because I like that song...and just because we didn't go to the ball doesn't mean we can't dance." I shrugged, still forcing her to move.
Hermione eyed us lazily without moving. I kept swaying ridiculously with Sarah; she slowly started moving. I knew she wouldn't be able to resist this for long.
We must've looked really stupid right now, dancing to the faint music coming from the Great Hall in a dark corridor with all the girls on the staircase eyeing us weirdly. And even so, Sarah and I didn't particularly know how to dance not awkwardly. But that was just how we enjoyed it.
I could finally get her to move enthusiastically, more Sarah's style. Moping around didn't suit her that much. She chuckled as I tried to spin her, given that she was far taller than me.
"You look stupid," muttered Hermione. So, I forced her to her feet too, ignoring her protests. The rest of the girls started joining us. It was all ridiculous, all of us dancing awkwardly, Sarah and I singing the song word for word to each other while giggling. I couldn't help but think that this night might've affected me more than it should.
Happy new year everyone