02 • Why?

I was a bad person. I did bad things. I know and acknowledge that. I asked for Hell and I got it. Formally known as Anna Hethingway in my first life, I am now known as Sakura Haruno in this life. At first, I was in denial. I chalked it up to my parents being huge fans that they changed their appearance and names and decided to name their first child after one of the characters. As long as a shot it was, I was desperate. I didn't want to believe I was reborn as fucking Sakura from the anime Naruto. So I didn't believe it till I got solid proof.

During my denial, I played my part of a mindless newborn as best as I could for my new parents (who's name's are Mebuki and Kizashi like from the anime..). Though, I did some things different from a normal baby. I let my parents sleep a full eight hours. I didn't cry as much or scream. I fell asleep without a hustle. I laughed at inappropriate times (hey! Dad hitting his toe against the coffee table is too funny!). I did struggle during feeding and changing the diaper. The humiliation! Can't wait till I can walk to go to the restroom.

Of course, I wasn't awake the whole time. I found out that there would be periods that I was conscious of my surroundings. Other times that I'm not conscious, time had passed. I didn't question it much, seeing how it passed time much faster for me. When I was conscious though, I listened intently to my parents' words. I needed to learn this new language. I fucking hate it when I can't understand what is being said to me. It took time to get the basics down, and I mean five months long.

I was officially five months old and teething when I first left my neighborhood. We had walked through the market place. Occasionally stopping when my parents talked with a friend. That just got me a lot of attention that I was not fond of. I was pouting and glaring after the first five people. I tried to bite when people reached to touch my pink hair. Can you fucking believe that I have fucking pink hair!? I was really hoping for blonde like mother, but fuck no, I got fucking pink. This truly is my hell.

I could only really see what was behind Mebuki with the way she carried me. Then I felt my mother come to a stop right away. She bowed and brought me down with her. I yelped out in surprise. Why was she fucking bowing? She stood straight while adjusting the way she held me. I could now see what's in front of her. I blinked and looked up to her. I looked around when she didn't look back at me. I'm really regretting getting excited over leaving the neighborhood. What I saw made me want to cry. There was a huge cliff side with four faces craved on it. I hoped for it to be Mount Rushmore when I first saw the outline but then I saw it clearly. It was the faces of the four Hokage's. And the whole reason Mother bowed was standing near me. It was fucking Minato. The Fourth fucking Hokage and father of Naruto Uzamaki, the main character.

It was probably a bad thing to burst out in tears and screaming, especially in front of the Hokage. I had never really cried after my first month of a new life. I only screamed when I found necessary and I didn't even scream that loud. No wonder my parents panicked. I had gotten the attention of the whole street. I could vaguely see Minato panic through my blurry vision. He was trying to cheer me up but each time I saw him reminded me of my problem so I would cry some more. I kinda feel bad for embarrassing my parents like that. My parents had to take me back home before I could stop my crying. I believe they thought that going outside for too long was the problem. They didn't take me outside again until another week. I didn't see anybody else I recognized from the show, so I was relatively calm. Mother would take me outside a lot more since that. Then there were the days I saw the Hokage and his wife.

I don't think it took too long for my parents to get that I only cried when I saw the Hokage. I would always see Minato get depressed as his wife laughed at him. I probably hurt his feelings. Ah whatever. I'm the one who's in a fucking anime as one of the fucking main characters. Fuck you too gods! I fucking asked for Hell and this is my hell in heaven. Smartasses. And there was another reason to cry. Kushina was fucking pregnant. Well, of course she is duh. But! Her due date is so close. The Kyuubi Attack. I know that Sakura grows up with her parents, she lives a normal life that anyone would want. And that's the thing. I'm not Sakura. Well, I am, but I'm not. This is too fucking confusing. Either way, the day I was born, canon was fucked up.

So I guess it's my fault really. I should have expected it. I shouldn't have had hopeful wishing. Since when did I do that shit? This is fucking reality now! Wake the fuck up Anna! You should have fucking seen this! It's your fault for becoming so stupid! It's your fault that they're dead now! It's my fault. Though, what could I do really? I'm just a woman over thirty stuck in a six month old baby. My motor skills aren't even that good. I need help to change my diaper. I need someone else to feed me. I can't fucking do anything for myself! So why did I think that I could for them?

It was the tenth of October. The day the anime begins. The day that the main character is born and fated to walk a life of hardships, loneliness. I was quiet the whole day, waiting apprehensively for the inevitable. Mother and Father would glance at me worriedly. I've never been this quiet before. I sat on the couch staring outside, watching as the sun set and the moon rose. Mother was about to set me to sleep when the first wave of malicious chakra washed over Konohakagure. I couldn't breath for a few minutes. That was all my mother needed to start yelling for my father. I remember her yelling about the hospital. As my parents began to run out the house to the hospital, an enraged roar sliced through the air.

I can still remember the looks of horror on their faces. I can remember my mother beginning to cry as my father yelled for us to keep running. The whole village was awake by now. Citizens filled the streets as they ran for safety. I remember my parents getting pushed around as they tried to keep with the crowd. I can remember the yelling of the shinobi, the screams and cries. Mother got pushed too hard and tripped into an alleyway. She had turned and took the brunt of the fall. I didn't know where father was. I just knew that the buildings making the alleyway were collapsing. Mother was hyperventilating. She struggled to stand with me in her arms.

When she did stand, the building was already tipping towards us. That's when father came with a look of panic on his face. I knew it was too late. I cursed at every higher being there was for letting my new life end so fucking quickly and for taking my new mother with me. She shouldn't be dying along with me. And she didn't. She died alone. Father had run to us, taking mother by her shoulders and trying to pull us to a run. Mother only pushed me into his arms. He took me carefully and looked to her in confusion. She pushed him away. The building fell and she died as father laid on his back with me in arms. I remember his scream full of anguish.

He had let go of me and I fell to the ground. He crawled to where my mother died. Her arm sticking out from the debris. He was in hysterics. Screaming and crying. I had managed to sit up, pushing the hurt I felt that he dropped me. He stopped his screaming so suddenly that it startled me. I looked up and flinched back. His glare was ice cold and full of hatred instead of love like it usually was. I shouldn't have been surprised. He loved his wife much longer than he loved me. I knew right there, that my life will just repeat itself if we both lived.

I was stuck in shock that I didn't see him walk towards me. I didn't see how his leg pulled back slowly. I just felt the pain of the kick. I didn't scream though. I was too familiar with this type of pain that my immediate response was to bite my lips. I looked up to see his glare again. I can't believe I thought that my new life would be different. Why should it be? I was a bad person. I fucking deserve this. I fucking know that. And if Sakura was to ever live this life, I'm glad I took her place. She would have been a six month old baby girl. No child deserves to go through abuse and so young as well.

I hadn't noticed the now empty streets. Not until another roar shook the village. Kizashi seemed to realize that too. He looked me for a full minute. He smiled but his eyes still held hatred. He turned and started to run. Leaving me alone and injured on the ground. I didn't blame him. I cursed at him but I didn't blame him. I expected it. As Anna, I lived in a family of too many. My mom had died. My dad blamed me. My family abused me. I was left alone. I picked myself up. I helped myself. I cared for myself. I did it all by myself. Kinda seems like whatever life I live, it'll all be the same. If so, then looks like I should start with picking myself off the ground.

It fucking hurt to try and just sit up. I'm no medic but I'm pretty sure I have some sort of internal bleeding. Kizashi has one hard kick, or I'm just super fucking weak. I think it's both. As soon as I could sit up, I started crawling. I couldn't stay here. I was going to die all over again. Though, I didn't crawl away. I crawled towards my dead mother. As soon as I reached her, I was out of breath. I held to her cold hand. I didn't try to speak or make a sound. I could still hear the screams and cries of the citizens of the village. I didn't care.

Memories of my time with my mother flooded over me. The times she talked to me. Read to me. Played with me. Watched over me as I crawled for the first time. Calming me when I cried. I remember her smile, her laugh, her voice. My favorite moments were when she would sing. Those were always fun. It's nice to have something in common with my mother. I remember, as she would sing, I would be seated in the middle of the table. I was never one to move around making it perfectly safe. She would sing and I was left to the magical drums called the hard-wood-surface-of-the-table.

While I'm not too educated on the new language here, I'm still fluent in English. I would sing the songs I remembered after mother finished. I'm pretty sure she never understood what I said but understood that I was singing. She always called me her little musician.

I'm not sure how long I sat there. I just know that the killing intent had increased in the air. I didn't falter and kept my breathing even. It was when I decided that it was time to move, that I realized I couldn't. My injuries are pretty bad for a baby, yes, but I could push the pain aside. But I couldn't leave my mother alone. I would have stayed there till daybreak if someone didn't find me. I planned on staying there till daybreak. The gods apparently didn't like my shitty plan. A shadow flew by overhead and I twitched. The person stopped, I could feel their gaze on me and I twitched again. They dropped down beside me. I clutched at my mother's hand tighter. I could hear the sharp intake of breath. The person kneeled next to me hesitantly.

I looked up finally to be surprised. Why was he here? Shouldn't he be stuck by some stupid shield the Hokage put up? Or was he on his way just now? How much time has passed then? Fuck I don't know anymore, I was too distracted to keep a mental clock. I looked into his single visible eye and could see the shock, surprise, pity, and recognition in it. How would he know who I am? I never met him before. He would have been busy with missions- that's right, he had a mission monitoring Kushina during her pregnancy. He must have seen me when I screamed at Minato.

His hands carefully grabbed me under the arms. As he picked me up slowly, I finally let go of my mother's hand. He must have felt something wrong when he grabbed me because he seemed panicked. Maybe he felt whatever the fuck is wrong inside my body? How long would it have been till I died of that shit? I should really pay more attention. He held me with an arm under me and the other on my back. I rested my chin on his shoulder looking down at the dead arm of my mother as he turned to take off.

I watched over Kakashi's shoulder as he ran. I watched the fire burn the village. I watched as different shinobi ran looking for more citizens. I watched as some were found dead. I watched as the Kyuubi rampaged on Konohakagure. Then I saw chains wrap around the fox. My eyes widen. It couldn't be that part can it? Then I watched as a poof of smoke disappeared to reveal a giant toad with a blonde on top. I watched while Kakashi had no clue. Then from the distance that I was, I could see as the Kyuubi slashed his claw down before he was sealed. That's when I knew, Minato and Kushina had died.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Naruto will have to go through. I didn't stop thinking about it. He will grow in an environment of hate and fear. He will grow without knowing the love of a parent. Naruto will grow alone with no one to care for him. He will never know the truth of his heritage. Will live in constant confusion. I started to cry silently. I wasn't aware of my surroundings as different scenes came to mind. I didn't realize how much of tight grip I had on Kakashi's shoulder until I felt someone try to take me off.

I looked around to see the symbol of the medics. A nurse was trying to pry me off of Kakashi's shoulder. I let go reluctantly. The nurse sat me on top of her hip and held me with one arm. The other glowed in green as she began to look over my injuries. It must have been really bad if the gasp she let out is any clue. It had caught Kakashi's attention before he left.

He looked over conflicted before asking monotonously, "What is it?" I wanted to know as well. What's so fucking bad that she gasped like that?

The nurse swallowed and took in a breath. "She has internally injures that...that she shouldn't even be alive right now..," she answered shakily. Well damn. I guess the gods really do want me to live this second life. Fuck them.

Kakashi looked at me wide eye. It was quite funny how alarmed they both seem. I smiled at him before laughing. I'm so fucking insane. Saw my mother die, was abused and left to die, and I'm fucking laughing? Wow. I shook off the thought that I almost died again, and focused on what's to happen now. Kizashi is still alive as far as I know so there isn't a chance I'm going to the orphanage. The chances of someone noticing the abuse I'm fated to meet are, unfortunately, slim. This is pretty fucked up.

The nurse quickly finishes healing me as she's called over to help with someone else. She hands me back over to Kakashi who blinks before she took off. I look up at Kakashi, unsure of what to do (not like I could fucking do anything anyways) and he looks at me seeming to have the same thoughts. He must have realized something and took no time to think it over because the next thing I knew, we were running. That's when I realized something. Kushina and Minato are really dead, the Kyuubi was sealed, Kakashi is going to get a shock. I frown when I also realize that it's my fault he gets there late (he would have been stopped either way). I feel like he would react the same way Kizashi did. And I just left the hospital! Damn it.

As he ran, he was careful when he held me. I noticed that his gaze was in one certain direction — where the Kyuubi had been. I ignored the thoughts of my future and the future of the village as I gazed at the destruction. It was dark out, the only light came from the moon and fires. And as a baby, my sight isn't really that great. So, do tell, how the fuck I spotted two people in the fucking shadows? Because I sure as hell don't know. Maybe they're some more shinobi? Are they looking for survivors? What is it with shinobi and the shadows in their own village? Ah fuck, I made eye contact. Should I do something? Fuck it, I'm going to wave.

I don't care if they don't seem like they don't want to be spotted (shinobi and their paranoia I swear; this is their own village!). I lifted my hand and began to wave dramatically with an idiotic smile on my face because I'm feeling suicidal. I really fucked up because I can see the interest in their eyes. I don't like that look. I glared at them and with the half-ass motor skills I got, flicked them both off — all that happened were my hands rising in fists at them like I wanted to start some fist fight.

I'm not sure if they saw or not because Kakashi turned a corner blocking my view. I huffed lightly but kept still. Wouldn't want to cause trouble for him now when he's about to get the shock of his life. I'm not that much of an asshole, especially to children. And don't fucking say he isn't a child. I'm over fucking thirty, anyone under twenty is a child. So, fucking fight me. Well, actually don't, I'm a baby.

Who knew thinking can pass time? Kakashi came to an abrupt stop and I noticed we were in the forest now. Well shit. I struggled to turn around in his hold. He seemed to be in shock since he didn't do anything to stop me. I stopped as soon as I saw what he saw. On a rock pedestal of sorts, laid a blonde newborn boy. On the ground next to it, laid two dead bodies. The parents. Minato and Kushina. I stilled when I saw the Third Hokage standing by. Kakashi was shaking lightly by now. No one seemed to notice us while the medics looked over the bodies.

I patted on Kakashi's chest lightly (my motor skills have greatly improved - thank the devil - but I still can't get my fingers to work). His hold tightened but I didn't make a noise. He looked down to me in slight confusion. I could see the tears building in his eye. Using what skills I had as a six-month-old baby, I patted his cheek in slight comfort. It was all I could do, my goal was to wipe the tears away. He seemed to appreciate it though, I think — it's hard to tell what he's thinking. He swallowed before stepping forward. He was still shaking slightly, I could feel it. Though if you looked, you wouldn't be able to know. I continued to pat him lightly, my gaze on the scene in front of me.

Kakashi steps next to the Third. The old man glanced up at him and I could see the pity in them. Then he glanced at me, eyes filled with confusion. No one seemed like they wanted to talk first. The silence was suffocating along with the tension in the air. I knew that no one was going to talk. So I talked first. Well, in a way. I basically just said my first word. It took a very long time, but I finally got the word down.

I continued to stare at the blood and bodies. My patting didn't let up either. I licked my chap lips before opening my mouth slightly. Apparently, the Third was still watching me, trying to figure out why I was here. So he was the only one that saw me prepare for my first word. I originally wanted to surprise my parents with my first word, get them used to my ways of speaking. I guess that's kicked out the window. Kizashi can get the shock later if he's even alive now.

"Shit," I say quietly.

Hiruzen looks like he's choking on a cough. Kakashi only blinks down at me. I smile at both of them. I wished for better reactions, but that will do. They didn't have enough time to think over my first word as a medic walked over. She carried a newborn blonde in her arms. Hiruzen took the baby into his arms. He nodded to the medic and she left. Turning towards us, he showed us the main character of this world. Naruto Uzumaki.

"Is...that..?" I can hear Kakashi mutter. I looked up at him and then looked back at the blonde. Hiruzen nodded solemnly — he probably knew what type of life the boy will live. If I leaned over, I could probably touch his head (that is, if Kakashi doesn't let go and let me fall to the dirt). He stirred in his sleep. He began to cry, Hiruzen seemed panicked (didn't this man raise like two kids?). Kakashi was wide-eyed and looked to have absolutely no idea what to do.

By now, I was unconsciously patting Kakashi so I used my other hand to lean over. Thankfully, Kakashi has enough sense to, you know, not drop a six-month-old baby that almost died earlier. I patted Naruto's head softly, not wanting to disturb or hurt him. He calmed down after a few pats surprisingly. Hiruzen looked at me curiously. Kakashi watched me with an unreadable expression as his gaze fell on my other hand patting him. The Third cleared his throat softly, making me look up but not stop my form of comforting. It was quite uncomfortable, having my body stretched out.

"Ah, Kakashi? Who's this?" He asked softly. Kakashi straightened, pulling me away from Naruto lightly.

"Haruno Sakura," his reply was. So he did know me and seemed to have information on me too. Hiruzen blinked in slight surprise.

"Sakura? You mean the baby girl that would scream and cry at the sight of Minato?" He asked curiously with an edge of sadness. Kakashi only nodded as I winced. Maybe I should have been nicer to the man, especially since I knew he was going to die soon.

"How'd you find her?" He questioned next. What is this? A fucking interrogation?

"On my way to help the battle, I found her sitting next to a collapsed building," he said and I could just see the pity in his words.

"She wasn't crushed was she?" The old man asked concerned.

"No, but when I took her to the medics...the nurse said she had internal injuries that should have killed her..." he answered hesitantly. The Third looked at me wide-eyed before smiling in relief.

"That's quite a miracle then. You are one blessed child," he said to me and I snorted while rolling my eyes. He didn't need to tell me that. The gods either fucking hate me or fucking hate me, I think it's a bit of both. Hiruzen blinked at my reaction but didn't question it (not like he could because I'm a fucking baby).

"It's best we find her parents then-" he stopped when Kakashi looked away. "What is it?"

He looked hesitant but eventually answered, "When I found her...she was holding onto a hand that stuck out under the rubble...her mother is dead."

The old man looked at me sadly, "What of her father?" I glared at the ground as Kakashi answered, "Nowhere near the area. He wasn't with the medics either. I couldn't find him." Wait, Kakashi was looking for Kizashi? Shit. Well, I sure am glad he didn't find him. I didn't want to see that fucker anyways. The man could die alone in a fucking ditch for all I care.

"Let us head back to the Village. We'll look for her father sometime during the week," Hiruzen sighed. He turned around, looking back at the two dead bodies once more before closing his eyes and walking away. Kakashi looked back as well before he followed.

Looks like my life starts now. Fuck. At least I now know I'm really am in the Narutoverse. And I'm an orphan (hopefully). Maybe I can look after the blonde? I always did sympathize with him. He deserves better. And this is a new start, remember? Maybe I can change something about myself and this place. Maybe. Just maybe.

And maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I'm only six months old after all. F. M. L.

. A/N .

So. Um. Hi?

If you haven't noticed, I'm quite new at writing and yeah. But when I do write it's mostly in 3rd POV but I thought I'd try my hand at 1st POV with this one. I'll most likely rewrite this story if I have the motivation and time for it (and if I don't like it).

I want to say thank you for the reviews and helpful criticism — it's greatly appreciated.

As stated before, I'm more invested in this story than my other one (since I actually have some plot planned out).

Hope you can stick around as I figure out this whole author thing.