03 • No
The orphange fucking sucks ass. More money should really be invested in this place. The building is small and old. There are few matrons working here. It's dirty as shit. Literally. The fucking toddlers still aren't potty trained. It's only been two days since I've been here too. Kakashi had dropped me off with these strangers as he worked with the village. I sat packed between two other babies that had nothing but a fucking diaper. If it wasn't for the clothing I wore, I would have quickly rolled away and off the bed we sat on. I'm sure I could survive the fall with minimal damage.
It was obvious that the adults were trying to separate us into age groups based on looks. There was one person watching over us babies and toddlers, which I found stupid. Besides being the upmost bored, I stayed silent and just watched how the other children interacted. I didn't have any reason to act as a mindless baby. There wasn't anyone I was doing this for, not any more. Though, that's probably the reason I kept getting weird glances. I didn't cry or babble. I didn't interact with the other children. The watching of the children soon became boring.
My gaze dropped to my chubby hands. I flexed them to the best of my abilities. I want to test the limits of my — still — developing motor skills (despite the fact they're much better than any normal five month old baby). I worked on both hands, not favoring one. If there's one thing I wished to be as Anna, it was to be ambidextrous. It's a very useful skill, especially in this new world. As I flexed and played with my hands, I moved my legs at the same time. I needed to gain some more control over my limbs. As I kicked my legs out with adequate control, I worked with my toes. While flexing my hands, I tried lifting my arms. I must be a very comical sight but I could care less much more than I already do.
As I continued with my movements, my thoughts wandered. I wonder what sort of work the Old Man is going through right now? Is he comforting families? I frown unconsciously at the thought remembering something. Didn't his wife die? She was the one that assisted in the birth and was killed by Obito. Why was no one comforting him?
He's the Hokage, a reply quickly formed itself, the village comes first.
Bull fucking shit! Was the village first when he was born? Was the village first when he was a child? Was it first when he himself was a human and person at the upmost beginning? When his family and friends were there, before it became about this shit hole? I think fucking not! This is all just fucking stupid and it's giving me a goddamn headache.
I glare at the room around me. I really don't want to be here. Konohakagure may be the "friendliest" of all five villages but it sure is the stupidest. The civilians are stupid. The council is stupid (fucking Danzō making a fucking child kill his own fucking family). The laws of this world are just stupid. Why can't people just sit the fuck down and talk shit out? Is that too hard?
Yes, a part of my brain whispers. I know that it's right. The people of this world are too damn prideful. People need to learn to take a step back and really view themselves and their actions. Most act like children, arguing and keeping grudges over petty things.
I sigh as a nurse enters the room and disrupts my thinking. It's only been over a day but there have been various medics here at the orphanage. From what I can tell, it's to make sure all the children are healthy. Other than that, I think their trying to figure out our families. I don't like being around when the medics are here. I already know who my parents are. I already know one is dead and the other missing (though hopefully dead too).
The medics don't do more than check my health. I'm sure they know that the Hokage knows who my parents are with the information Kakashi gave him. I wonder what he's doing now. Most likely helping repair the buildings and looking for more survivors. The village isn't likely to give any missions outside for maybe a week, so Kakashi should still be in the village.
I wonder of Naruto. Is he in the hospital? Is the Third looking after him? Obviously, it's only been a day. He wouldn't leave Naruto by himself. I wonder if news of him being the nine tails jinchūriki has spread already. The poor boy living a life of hate, fear, and loneliness. Viewed as a weapon for the village by the council. Fucking Danzō.
I'm brought out of my thoughts when I feel myself being picked up. I don't recognize the person. I think it's one of the older orphaned boys. I blink and look around. What the fuck is going on? Why am I being picked up by a stranger? Why the fuck am I being touched by a stranger? Who the fuck is the boy that is carrying me? I'm overwhelmed by the questions that I feel like crying.
The boy notices and begins to panic. He hands me over to someone next to him. Like, what the actual fuck? I look up to see a girl about the boy's age. I don't recognize her either. I don't know what's going on. Why am I being moved? I panic, naturally, and this makes the girl panic. Then she hands me off to someone else.
This is not some game of hot potato! I'm not some object to be passed around!
I look up to see the face of one the matrons. The women scolds the two children briefly for the way they took care of me (for like two minutes). She rolls her eyes at them and tells them to head to their rooms before she walks down the hall, me in arms. I take the time to look around the orphanage some more. Nothing special.
I still don't know why those two children picked me up. You don't simply pick up a baby. Maybe they were tasked to do so? But why me? How would they even know who I am? Do any of the matrons here know my name? Maybe it's my pink hair and green eyes, maybe that's how they know me.
The matron takes me into what I believe is the living room. It's small, but packed with the other matrons and some adults. The only children around are the babies. Wait. Are these parents picking up their children? Already? I thought it'd take another day or so.
That doesn't explain why I'm here. The orphanage sure as hell sucks, but it's better than being with Kizashi. Maybe he died like mother did. At least then he could be with her and I'd consider him my father again (maybe) since my father died when my mother did. Kizashi is not my father, he is someone else despite the name and appearances.
My questions are quickly answered upon hearing a familiar voice.
"Sakura-Chan! My cherry blossom!" I look up to see familiar dull magenta hair and blue eyes. I narrow my green eyes at him. I really wished he had died. At least then I'd know mother wouldn't be lonely and that I could call him father. Guess not.
Kizashi smiles warmly at me. I don't buy it. I can see the coldness in his eyes. He picks up out of the matron's arms. I struggle to the absolute best of my abilities. I am not above screaming and crying. The hold Kizashi has on me tightens in warning. I've been told in my last life that I'm quite stubborn.
I reach for the matron who looks unsure of what to do. Poor woman. I feel for her but at the moment I couldn't care. I wanted out. I do no want to be in the same area as this man. I refuse to live a repeat of my last life. This is supposed to be a new start!
Kizashi starts trying to calm me down. He whispers reassurances to me. I fail my arms about. He rocks me back and forth. I kick out with both legs. He begins to pat my head. I shake my head trying to get it off. I barely hear him over my screaming.
"I'll take her to get some fresh air," he smiles at the matron. I only scream louder in protest. I don't want to go anywhere with this man. If only I was older than I could run and hide and actually put up a fight.
Once we're outside and out of earshot and viewing range, he glares at me and holds me upside down by my feet. I shut up immediately, focusing on catching my breath instead now. He scowls at me. I scowl back with a glare that could kill (if I was much older). He jostles me up and down by my feet. I can feel the blood rushing to my head. The bastard.
"Listen carefully, okay my little blossom?" He asks sweetly with a smile. Exactly like before mom died but without any love. "My beautiful and wonderful wife died. And it's all your fault. I believe punishment is in order. I was gonna leave you here to grow an orphan, wondering of your parents for all your life," He continues with a snarl, his lips pulled back and his teeth bared. "But. I thought of something better. Why just emotionally hurt you? When I can also mentally and physically hurt you too?"
He smiles. Taking complete joy in what the future holds for me. For the pain he'll inflict on me. I bared my still-growing-and-barely-there teeth at him. I may not know this language that well, but I sure as hell can speak my native tongue fluently.
"You motherfucker. If you think you can get away with this, your dead wrong. I live by a saying: you hit me, I hit you back harder. I'm gonna make your life a fucking hell. Prepare yourself bitch," I growl at him in English.
He looks at me in amusement. Finding my struggle funny. I fully prepare to grow out my nails so I can claw his eyes out. I ball my useless hands into fists before trying to get a punch in. He only rolls his eyes before tossing me in the air. I expected him to let me drop to the ground but he surprisingly catches me. I'm held in the crook of his arm.
I look to him in confusion, narrowing my eyes to watch him warily. He notices apparently because he chuckles. "Wouldn't want you to die so soon right? So you'll have to grow up nice and healthy and strong. It would be sad if you met your mother so soon, especially after killing her. Don't you agree?"
Oddly, I can find the logic behind it. If I was too weak, I would more than likely die the first time I'm abused. What confuses me though, is when exactly I'll be 'strong enough' to withstand the abuse. If I had to guess, I'd say when I'm a year old. Looks like I'll need to hurry the fuck up and learn how to run. Fuck learning how to walk first.
"Don't you worry my cherry blossom," Kizashi speaks up making me return from my thoughts, "I'll give you an entire year of a nice life before I'll need to punish you for your sins." Well shit. When did this become some sort of repentance?
And an entire year? I'll need to start walking by the end of the month. Maybe I can get him to take me around the village more? I'd be able to find some hiding spots. And since I sleep in a different room, I can sneak around at night for an escape route. Hm, the plan is shaky at best, but a plan nevertheless.
I look back up at Kizashi. He was only watching where he walked. I nodded to myself slightly. I have a year of freedom. A year to get stronger and better. A year to plan — to strategize. A year to prepare.
Holy fuck. When did my life turn into some kind of war? Well, at least I'll be ready for the fourth war. If I don't die before then that is. The gods didn't let me die so soon in this life, they probably won't let me until a certain age. Perhaps when I'm twelve? I'd have graduated from the academy by then. It's only a guess, a very bad one. But a simple guess nevertheless.
I shake my head, having gotten sidetracked. While it's true and possible, the gods won't let me die so early in this life — it's also possible that I won't die from other forces. Example, if I was trapped under a building, or like what actually happened and I have internal bleeding I should not have survived, I won't die. Mainly because the injuries were caused by an outside force. Under a building? The building fault. Internal bleeding? Kizashi's fault. Again this is all just a guess.
But what if I decided to end it all? Depressing and quite scary to think about, but it's an honest question. A question I don't feel too inclined to find the answer too — at least, not so soon.
Damn. Things took a depressing turn.
I'm brought out of my thoughts (again) when I noticed that Kizashi has stopped walking. I look around warily only to find us in front of a newly rebuilt house. I recognize it to be our house. It isn't hard to tell that the area was wrecked in the attack. The shinobi are probably set to rebuilding the important buildings along with some civilian homes first.
It's funny. If we hadn't gotten out in time, we would have been crushed then dead. Unless mother did what she did again — toss me away from the danger. Then both mother and my father would have died together. In the end, it was only mother, and father died in spirit. Now I have a man that wears his face but is not him.
Kizashi steps inside the house. A frown set on his face as he looks around. It looks almost exactly the same as before. But it's not. Before, the air smelled of mother's cooking. Not like fresh paint and wood. Kizashi's hold on me tightens some more than what it already was. Whether it's intentional or not, I don't make a sound.
I already grieved. I've moved on. It's obvious Kizashi will grieve for as long as he still lives. I can't do anything about that or for the man. He can move on whenever he wants. But for me? Now it's time to move forward.
Whether I like it or not (which I fucking don't), the universe won't wait for me to make sure I'm prepared. Fuck my life. This is gonna be one hell of a year. Yay.
Kizashi walked inside the house. When the door fully closed behind him, he made his way to the hall. I recognized the door he opened to be my room. Non to gently was I placed inside my crib. Sitting up, I tossed a glare to the man. He had his back to me while leaving my room. I could hear the distinct noise of the door being locked and I cursed.
The man was clearly unstable. Who the fuck knows when I'll have my next meal or a new diaper? My motor skills still aren't what I want them to be. Much less able to change myself. Which is only more motivation to hurry my ass up and learn how to run. Looking around now, I noticed the crib was bigger than what I remembered it to be. I could use the space as practice before trying to escape this hell hole. It helps that Kizashi ignores me.
Crawling towards the bars of my crib, I test my speed. Which isn't much. It's practically nothing at all. Glaring at the bars once I reached them, I make a note to work on my speed. Glancing at my already tired arms and legs, I also make a note to start muscle build up. I sigh in frustration. Starting as a baby sucks. Though, there's no use being negative...pfft. Yeah right. I only stayed alive as long as I did as Anna because I never got my hopes up, I always expected the worse of a situation and accepted them. Though I guess negativity isn't needed when I'm only six months old.
I sighed again before straining my nonexistent muscles to pull me up using the bars.
I didn't get very far off the mattress before falling on my back.
Practice makes perfect as they say.
They also say no one is perfect.
Stupid baby body. Why couldn't I have been turned into a three or four-year-old and then dumped in the middle of nowhere? At least then I could walk and run. Why did I have to start from the fucking womb? I blame the men in suits. When I die again I'm going to be looking for their asses and have a nice long chat with them. I smirk to myself as I can already imagine their faces.
Laughing quietly to myself, I look back at the bars of my crib and narrow my eyes. I'll have to keep working on this. Fuck.
. A/N .
Should the next chapter be a time skip? If so, to what age?
Or ...
Should it be a series of time skips? Showing Anna's next year as Sakura?
Decisions, decisions...