11 • Get Out Of Jail Free

Let me just say, trying to defend oneself is fucking useless against Danzō. The stupid one-eye joe bastard didn't believe me when I said that I had a fucking ANBU guarding me. Like what the hell! You think I want to stay at the hospital overnight or even go back to the room.

I ended up in the room either fucking way. He didn't like the fact that I attacked his Nurse. Well, sorry, not like I fucking knew she was there on orders. Didn't mean to be in the way despite being assigned the mission of protecting the heiress.

It has been about five months and I'm still a bitter bitch. I'm now officially four, and apparently capable of new shit like jumping down from fifteen feet off the fucking ground. I swear to the gods this asshole wants me dead. Probably thinks I'm some useless civilian that was sold to him. I'll show him that ain't it once I kill him.

Besides being given more shit to do, learn, and break — my relationship with the kids has gotten better. I haven't met any new brats, just little duck, blonde, and bunny. Hinata had started joining our 'play dates' around three weeks after the incident of her birthday. She's always accompanied by some guard, never really the same one, and every one of them boring.

At first it was difficult. Her guard not liking the fact that little blonde was there but after getting hit with multiple rations at once, they all conceded. The boys took an immediate liking to her when she joined the throwing once I gave her a ration. Sushi, Princess, and the Guard however, did not like the fact she joined in the throwing.

Which is bull, since it'll only make her a badass in the future, which your fucking welcome. Tch. Honestly, the shit I do and go through and will go through for these people! Which, why again am I doing this? Right, to become a ninja and get legalized-ish murder.

"Sakura! Sakura!"

Looking over, I see all the three little brats running up to me. Today is my day-off-but-not-really-because-it's-a-mission day. Like always, I was left at the house to make my own way around. Usually, I'd head straight to the park to meet with the brats but I wanted to do something today before that. Didn't think I'd meet the brats in the streets before I could do what I wanted.

I sigh heavily as little blonde tackles me down, smiling widely as if what he did is completely normal and fine. Which it sort of is? I've noticed little blonde has started becoming a lot more like his twelve year old self with Sasuke and I around. Which apparently to him means he can just tackle me in the middle of the street. If I weren't trying to seem like a "normal" four year old, I would have caught him so we both don't fall.

"Hello to you too," I mutter, patting his head when he helps me up. "What are you doing here?"

"They got worried when you weren't at the park," Sushi pipes up from behind me, grinning most likely from trying to startle me. "So we all came to find you."

Ah, that's...not good. My days "off" aren't a guaranteed thing. There's also the chance of being sent on some fucking useless suicide mission and you know, dying. There's also the fact that Dino could just pull me out of the "mission" entirely and I stay in those cold ass hideouts never to be seen again.

I sigh and push Sushi's face away while glaring at him. "I'm not a fucking child you need to concern yourself with," I ignore Princess' dubious look and Sushi's snort. "If I don't come to the park assume I'm sick and leave me alone." I have no doubt they could find my house and just break in as they please. I don't want to explain why it smells like bleach or why my bedroom is still modeled for a newborn.

He opened his mouth to say something but I turned my back and ignored him. Instead of keeping up useless and boring conversations, I poke the three brats to start walking in a certain direction.

"Come on, I'm hungry. I'll buy us something to eat," I explain, pausing to look over at Sushi, Princess and Guard, "Not you three. Buy with your own fucking money."

Ignoring Sushi's whining, I lead us to a vendor off to the side selling what looks like kabobs. It's meat on a stick. I'm fucking buying. I pull out the money I stole from someone, or well from the people I pickpocketed this morning. Now that I think about, should I teach Naruto how to pickpocket and steal? It would make his and my life much easier if he had a way to acquire his needs on his own. It'd also be good stealth training.

Another thing: training. Apparently, not only do I have to make friends with all the brats, but I also have to train them. Like what the fuck? Isn't that what the academy and their families are for? Why the hell is it my responsibility now? Oh yeah, because Danzō is a piece of shit that wants powerful soldiers in the future.

It's like I can do much but go along with it. It would also be in my favor. If the kids are all stronger than canon-genin-them, it'd only mean they can be much stronger by the time of the huge-ass, useless, stupid war (if all the plant fuckwad wanted was to bring his stupid mom back then fuck why doesn't he go to the moon to be with her? Why're you bringing your mommy issues to us? No one gives a shit).

I click my tongue at the shift in thoughts, tuning back into my surroundings more to see we've reached the vendor. There's an empty upside down crate in the front so I can step on it and be able to see over the vendor table. I place down the money on the table, not caring if it's correct or not.

"Give me four," I state blandly, ignoring Sushi and Princess' comments of being polite and minding the manners I've never been taught.

The man blinks, a little surprised before looking at the money and smiling at me. I cringe away but don't say anything. As we wait for the four kabobs to be made, everyone has started talking amongst themselves. I don't butt into either conversations too tired, mentally and physically from the shit show called training. Walking and moving about after breaking one's legs more than ten times is something I never recommend, especially after a quick healing session — in which I got a fucking toe broken for cursing.

I blink into focus, noticing how the man is about to hand me two kabobs. I reach out for them but he stops suddenly and pulls back. My brow twitches and my patience thins. It's been a rough fucking week and this man is not about to deny me my meat on a stick.

I open my mouth to tell him to hurry the fuck up when I notice him looking to my right and down. Glancing over, I see exactly what he's staring at, or more like who he's staring at. I should have known really. Usually Shisui will the one time grab us food as we all stayed at the park running around.

My expression pinched together, anger clear in his eyes. Through gritted teeth he says, "I won't sell to a mon-"

I slam my hands against the table, expression carefully blank. "Finish that sentence. I dare you."

He turns to look at me, startled, and suddenly it's quiet around me. I can see Itachi frowning in the corner of my eye, Shisui looking confused, the kids looking up curiously, and the Guard raising a brow in question.

The man doesn't take me seriously and glares, "I said I won't sell to a mons-"

He doesn't finish as I lean over and grab the front of his shirt. I roughly pull him down to eye level, expression still blank.

"Guess the fuck what," I whisper to him, "You ain't selling to no fucking monster. You're selling to me." My grip tightens and I pull him down, closer to the grill, while fighting against Shisui's hold one me. "Do you know who I am?" He doesn't answer, now trying to get away from the heat of the grill. "I'm the motherfucking devil."

In a swift move, I slam his head down on the grill. He screams and quickly backs away. Shisui quickly lets go of me, moving to assist the man. I ignore them and pick up all the kabobs already finished cooking. I jump down of the crate, pass out the kabobs, and begin walking away.

Which I don't get very far, like, at all. Shisui stands in front of me, glaring. Looking over I see Itachi and Guard are taking care of the man. The brats are all confused and pouting, asking question after question of what happened.

"Sakura," Shisui calls, voice stern and mad, "What the hell was that?"

"Hm? You mean my kabob? It's meat on a stick."

I did not expect what he did next. Didn't really think it to be a possibility. But hey, I'm apparently the universe's punching bag — it likes to make my entire existence shit.

Uchiha Shisui slapped me.

I blink, confused at the sudden turn of my head before realizing I was slapped. The brats are now shouting, at me seeing if I'm okay, at Shisui asking why. I take this small pause to realize that not many, if any at all, people are watching us. Which is good I suppose. I doubt being known as the girl that slammed some guy's face in a grill will get me food or service.

With a sigh, I look up at the twelve year old boy then frown. He's staring wide eyed and shocked. At me or his own actions I'm not sure. His hand is still suspended in air from when he hit me. I grab it and pull down to his side. I pat his hand as I walk around and past him.

Let's get this shit show on the road.

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

I twirl the stick from my kabob around my fingers. I finished it just a little while ago. Right after kicking my way into Fu-Chan's office actually. Yup. I turned myself in. Well, not really. I just walked to the police station, made my way to the chief's office, and kicked open the door. I sat in front of Fugaku and finished my meat.

Neither of us had said anything. He looked extremely confused and annoyed when I walked in though. Looked ready to yell too.

I stared at him until he sighed and held his head in his hands. "What." He gritted out, glaring at me behind his hands. I have no doubt he knows all about me from his two sons and nephew. I wonder if he remembers the last time I was here. Probably. I doubt many, if any, children get sent here for punching someone.

"Is it possible to sue or arrest a four year old?"

He blinked. "What?"

"I may or may not have slammed a man's face into a grill which may or may not have still been on," I explained, waving the stick around in the air.

He sat up straighter, a startled and angry expression on his face. "What!?" Is that seriously all he can say?

"Yeah, so anyway, is it possible to arrest a four year old?"

He threw me in a holding cell.

Currently he's trying to get in contact with Kizashi but too bad for him, the asshole is out on some mission and isn't due to be back for another fucking week or so. He didn't really know what to do with me and didn't want to deal with me. I think he guessed putting me here would be best.

Which it is, if the presence of my watcher is anything to go by. I sit up from laying down on the ground and raise a brow at the guy. He signs a quick message before disappearing.

"Sunset," he had said.

I click my tongue but nod to the empty room, knowing he can still see me from wherever the hell he is.

What? Did you think I honestly slammed that man's face in the grill because I lost my patience? I'm better than that. Besides, I only resort to physical violence if threats don't work. I never threatened the man, something I would normally do but well, a mission is a mission I suppose.

Dino thought it'd be a good idea to start giving me in village missions for my days out. Earlier this morning, I went to the market instead of the park to find the man I was instructed to hurt. Apparently the guy isn't an honest kabob seller but a sleazy old piece of shit selling information.

Or so I was told.

I didn't bother looking too deep into it. The guy is over twenty-one, I have no problems killing him, much less burning him. Besides, it'd only look bad if I doubted the Dino.

Anyways, at apparently sunset I'm to commence with part two of the plan. Yeah, Dino gave me an actually fucking plan this time. Some fucking how, he thinks this mission has more risk than just sending me out to take down a fucking grown ass man, ranked jonin.

"Fuck this shit, I'm taking a fucking nap," I mutter, turning over to lay on my side and sleep.

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

Being kicked awake is not fun.

I glare at my watcher, flipping him off before pulling myself to my feet. Looking around, it seems that it's later in the day. Huh. You know, I didn't actually think Fu-Chan would leave me here. Did he forget about me? Rude.

"Where," I ask while sitting myself down in the corner, where the little light there is hits, making sure I'm visible enough so when someone walks in they can spot me easily.

"Hall. Left," he answers before stepping back and melting into the shadows. Not really but it looks like he did. He's one of the Nara's then. I've seen their specialized training just once before, even asked about them.

Masks that come from clans get specialized training to make their bloodlines... fit, I guess you can say, to Danzō's needs of them — assassins. That's what clan Masks are almost always shaped to be, but then again we're all shaped to be assassins, some just better than others.

I sigh, twirling my kabob stick in boredom as I wait for our target to enter. This mission isn't exactly a solo mission like my first one with Hinata, I have to work with my watcher to complete these in village ones, at least until I'm able to do it solo.

Despite getting training, and starting really fucking early, Dino only has me trained in physical things, nothing in chakra. Oh sure I'm being trained to open my chakra points which is tiring as fuck, but I have yet to learn to do anything with it. I know all the theory — how to make a genjutsu, how to perform a jutsu, how to enhance one's strength, etcetera etcetera. Though, I wonder if I'll start on chakra once I hit age five. He did increase the physical training upon turning four…

The door creaks, snapping me out of useless thinking. I tuck the stick in my sleeve and lean back. I half expect Fu-Chan to be the one to step inside that way I can cuss him out but alas, it's just the fucking target. I smirk spotting the burn mark on his face, resisting the urge to laugh. At least now I know that Dino isn't lying? Though why he'd have any of his soldiers kill an innocent is beyond me. Hmm, to break them maybe? Isn't that what they did with what's his face? Ah, fuck. That character is important, fuck, what's his name? Shit, what does he look like again? Black hair I think?

Fuck this, it's a topic for another time.

The man, now named Target, steps inside the area containing holding cells. He looks around lost and annoyed. Probably because of the genjutsu Watcher put up. I'm not sure what kind of genjutsu he put up but I just know he put one up. It's like a feeling. It's freaky as fuck but super fucking useful whatever the hell this feeling is.

I tap my finger against the bar, quickly catching Target's attention. He blinks before sneering at me. He marches over, which who the hell marches anymore?

"So the little bitch is behind bars huh?" He mocks, leaning down to see me. "Serves you right you little shit."

"And the big bad man got scarred by a four year old," I reply boredly. "Honestly, to resort to mocking and name calling a child. How pathetic."

I saw his hand coming a mile away but let him grab the back of my head and slam it into the metal bars. Even if this man is going to die later, there's still a chance of being caught by someone other than the Fake Masks. Wouldn't want him sprouting shit that can get me in trouble.

I blink up at him and raise a brow, unimpressed. "Now you're hurting a child? What? Did I hurt your feelings that bad? Big bad man get take a few taunts? I know children younger than me that can take a few words and hits. Man you really are pathetic."

Oh look at that. That's blood on the bar and dripping down my head. A head injury huh? Now that I think about it, not once in all my trainings and time in the room have I gotten a head injury. If I were any other person I'd almost call it sweet how considerate the Masks are. As it is, I still think they're a bunch of assholes that should die in a burning pile of rubble.

Target looks unsettled at my nonchalance but seems to regain some composure. He opens up the little cell I'm in and quickly grabs me by my hair. A very asshole move after giving me a fucking head injury. He then begins to drag me out, pausing momentarily to tape my mouth. Where the fuck he got that tape, I have no fucking clue.

I don't resist, annoyed enough as it is to try and play the part of a frightened child. I allow Target to drag me around the station which is surprising empty which it shouldn't be — there should be at least one person still here. What the hell happened as I was napping?

Target drags me to what looks like the archives on the station. Don't really know what could be useful here but hey, I ain't here to judge, just to stop and / or kill. He throws me at the wall near the door, glaring at me to probably get me to stay still? I shrug once he turns his back to me and sit up.

Honestly what a fucking amatear! He didn't tie up my hands or ankles, just taped my mouth! If we were somewhere else, I'd attack him with his back to me and just complete the mission with a kill. As it is, I can't exactly kill him in a police station. I can't exactly kill him at all really. Dino prefers him captured for some odd ass reason.

Whatever. Let's just get this shit done already.

It was simple. Attack him, tie him up, throw him out a window, then drag him to Dino. Super Fucking Simple.

Until the sounds of talking and footsteps reached us.

Target panicked, shoving every and any kind of paper in a scroll before grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder. Why he thinks taking me is useful, I have no fucking clue. I'm just added weight, though not much but still. Is he going to use me as a hostage?

The door opens just as Target is getting ready to jump out a window. He turns to look at them, startled, before hurrying for the window. I decided to pretend I'm passed out as to lessen suspicion towards me. If I knew that meant getting my head banged against the window, I wouldn't have and would have just stabbed the guy in the neck with the kabob stick still in my sleeve.

Since I'm pretending to be unconscious, I keep my eyes close so I honestly have no idea where we're going or what the fuck is happening. I just know a lot of people are shouting and possibly, most likely, giving chase. If they haven't caught up already then fuck, that means this guy ain't no fucking civilian like we thought — or maybe Danzō knew and just didnt want to tell me.

Probably the latter.

I grit my teeth in annoyance at my pounding headache: head wound plus blood loss plus another strike on the head plus the constant movement is not a fun equation.

Guessing off of sound, I'd say Target's losing them. Which is a problem — for me. I can easily kill the guy in my position, even take him down, however since the police will catch up eventually, I can't well explain why the fuck I'm dragging him around. Ah, looks like a mission failed for me and another session in the room.

Stupid ass police messing everything up with their justice and righteous shit. Fuck the police.

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

It's been close to ten minutes now and those slowpokes still haven't caught up! Um, hello? Precious life of a fucking child on the line here! Yeah, okay, not really but physically I am still a precious thing to be protected! No matter how much I yell at others to piss off. I swear, I'd sue if I could but I can't becuase fucking Kizashi is buddy-buddy with the fucking chief and Dino will just blame me.

If you couldn't already tell, I'm pissed.

I open a single eye against the constant pounding in my head to look around. We're in a forest, which isn't even surprising, and it seems the sun is close to fully setting making it much darker than before. Damn, did the day really go by that fast? Next thing I'll know I'm six and in the damn academy.

Blinking against the black spots in my vision, I squint at the treeline in front of me (and behind Target). I swear there's something there. It's a gut feeling and never has my gut and instinct lied to me before. At least, it's never lied to Anna before but I'm still technically my past self so surely it won't lie to me…

There's movement in the trees, higher than what I can view while still playing unconscious and keeping my head down. I had caught a brief glimpse of the moving figure. I could only see that their attire consisted of black and dark blues. It almost feels like I know who it is. A character I've yet to meet? But who?

Target stops suddenly, stumbling, making me grit my teeth at the sharp pain behind my eyes and sudden dizziness. Squinting, I can just barely see his feet shifting into a defensive stance through blurred vision. No wonder the Masks never went for a head wound. This shit would have killed me had they aimed for one every time I paid that shithole place a visit.

There's...shouting, I'm just now realizing. Shit, my hearing seems to be going out too. Note to self: never, ever recieve head injuries but always deliver them.

I'm dropped suddenly, making me inhale sharply through clenched teeth. I just had - just had to be dropped head-first on a tree root. All this trouble is not worth getting out of jail relatively free. Actually, this doesn't seem free at all! I had to pay the price of what I'm now starting to realize might be a serious head injury. Fuck you too gods! Fuck you too Universe!

Since my hearing and vision is now out, I can't tell what the hell is going on. I can only guess that Target got caught and is now fighting? You know what? Fuck this pretending shit. I'm tired of acting the useless and helpless little bitch part.

Using my hands for navigation, I use the tree in front of me to help me stand. With one hand against the tree, I use the other to wipe away the blood from my eyes. Looking around with slightly cleared vision, I'm able to catch the end of a very pathetic looking fight. Target dropped like a fly in the heat of a summer's day.

I look away from the likely unconscious but maybe dead Target to see who it was that 'saved' me.

Oh.

It's just Shisui.

Kind of disappointing.

"The fuck you doing here?" I ask incredulously, pushing away from the tree to try and walk over only to stumble like a newborn lamb. Before I can curse and hit the floor, Curly's already in front of me catching me. I knew the kid was fast but shit, there was at least four, five meters between us.

"Woah, h-hey, don't move," he quickly mutters while making me sit down against the tree.

I lazily slap his hands away, "I'm fine. Just a scratch."

He sputters, angrily reprimanding me with, "Your hair is more red than it is pink. It is not just some- some scratch."

I blink, vision is really going out now, everything is blurry as fuck. I raise a brow in his general direction. "It's fine, I ain't dead."

"That isn't—," he cuts himself off with an irritated sigh. Then he pulls me into a hug. What the fuck.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, "I'm just glad your okay."

"Woah, hey there buddy, I know I called you a pedophile but I didn't think you'd take it so literal," I say raising my arms and pushing him away as best I could.

And now he's laughing. What the hell. Is this child okay? Is he high? Damn, I always knew that happy attitude was too fucking much to be true.

"Let me go before I scream rape."

"N-no," he laughs, picking me up — what the actual fuck is this kid on? "Need to take you to the hospital."

"Fucking let me go!" I scream, moving to escape his grasp before stopping and holding my head. Dizzy, dizzy— yeah okay, maybe I do need to see a nurse. "I can walk you know."

"Sure."

"Sushi, I swear to the devil if you don't—"

"Oh look, your going delusional. Swearing to devil and all. You really need the hospital."

Brat.

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

I didn't know how to end this.

Hope you enjoyed, even tho this is more of a filler than anything