22 • Outside Looking In
Sarutobi Hiruzen has known Haruno Sakura far longer than she may know or remember. To be more accurate, he's known of her long before she stormed into his office at the age of three. It's rather hard to forget about the newborn that'd scream at the sight of Namikaze Minato, especially when the blond man sulked about it for the rest of the day when it'd happen.
It's also hard to forget the little baby, cradled in Kakashi's arms, that reached out and calmed a newborn Naruto with light head pats.
Though brief, it was easy to see that there was something different about the pink-haired child. There was clarity and understanding in her green eyes, even if she viewed everything else with confusion and curiosity.
Truthfully, upon learning who her parents were, he looked forward to the kind of shinobi she'd become (should she choose that path, of course). Her father, Haruno Kizashi, was a good shinobi and an even better field-medic. Her mother, Haruno Mebuki, was an excellent taijutsu-focused kunoichi (especially when there are so few of them).
Looking at her now — eight-years-old, scarred and traumatized, yet somehow undeniably vivacious — he starts to really feel his many regrets and failings weigh on him. The little girl of current thought being the most prominent.
He really should have questioned Kizashi more after witnessing his daughter throw herself out his office window instead of letting the man's previous anecdotes about her (all likely false he knows now) cloud his judgement. Even if her unflinching trek through the Hokage Tower added credence to them. (It certainly made those stories of her supposedly climbing all sorts of high surfaces and subsequently throwing herself off of them, or at Kizashi, seem reasonable. Her collection of brick-hard rations hidden on her person also made the stories of her regularly kicking up a fuss sensible. Really, there was a reason Kizashi was a good shinobi.)
The girl, from what he's observed and heard, is headstrong and intelligent — a combination that will be terrifying in the future if cultivated correctly. A bit of a natural leader too, supposedly, but he thinks it has more to do with being willing to do what others won't. She certainly lacks any feelings of fear or shame every time she talks back and points out all the ways one of the Academy instructors or civilian vendors are wrong and "as stupid as a roach." (She apparently knows mice and rats of greater intelligence — though how much this rumor is true or not has yet to be seen, but is so very odd in nature that when combined with Sakura it just makes sense.)
Coupled with the things he's recently learned (though none of it has been stated as fact and truth yet) about her past, she's well-adjusted in personality and habits to what she could have been. Something he's sure is the result of her friends and their parents deciding to watch over her. Of course this new knowledge just means that they'll be keeping an even closer eye, which he doesn't see going over well with the girl since she'll be aware of why they'd be doing so. She's far too independent to appreciate it, notably living on her own in a large house that undoubtedly holds bad memories.
Maybe one of the Clan Heads will be able to convince her to move somewhere else, being parents of her closest friends. Unlikely, but it'd be a worthy effort. Perhaps the children will have more luck, Naruto and Sasuke in particular seeing how they'll now be living in the same apartment building (on their insistence of course, but it's not like he was very against it to begin with. He certainly wasn't about to let the young Uchiha live in the Clan Compound after what happened).
He's getting old, too old really to be Hokage and continue with the responsibility it entails, as the Uchiha Massacre and Sakura's Predicament have shown him. Being on the receiving end of the girl's terrible and proper manners all within the span of an hour is rather eye-opening, especially when he's keenly aware that she has a hidden loathing for authority and adult figures. (His shinobi, especially the Academy teachers, are all terrible gossips.)
Sighing, he turns his attention back towards making sure the Village isn't seen as weak by the other nations. With the Third War having ended barely a decade ago, along with the Kyuubi attack less than a decade ago, the Massacre has the potential to be what breaks the camel's back.
He'll need to get in touch with Jiraiya soon. And maybe start seriously thinking about training up a successor for the Hat. But that decision will have to wait until he's sure other Villages won't try their luck against Konoha.
: : :
Yamanaka Inoichi had known about Haruno Sakura for a while by the time his daughter mentioned her as a new friend. Ino had talked about her before, mostly her observations of the "odd civilian around so many boys." But he mostly got his information from his two closest friends, since their sons are a part of the "so many boys" his daughter spoke of.
He had grimaced in both disbelief and amusement the first time Shikaku mentioned the vulgarity of the girl's language. He had smiled in interest when Choza mentioned the confidence boost his son has had since interacting with her.
It led him to wanting to meet and observe her himself. Not so much that he'd push his daughter into interacting with her, or even going out of his way to do it. He figured he'd meet her eventually if she continued to hang out with Shikaku and Choza's sons.
He never thought his first meeting with her would be for a psych evaluation after she got caught up in an entire clan massacre. He can't even be grateful for the unbiased view he has of her that allowed him to be the one to do it, especially when it was conducted during her interrogation.
There were several things to take note of. Like the way she quickly composed herself after showing vulnerability as she remembered the events of the massacre. It was interesting to watch the way Sakura derailed any continued conversation about her near panic attack. Concerning, but interesting.
Most concerning would be the calm disposition she had while verbally recounting the events. She was mostly patient, only ever getting twitchy when she wasn't allowed to move on with her story as too many questions were asked. He was mostly responsible for that, needing to see how far and long the calm attitude held.
But Inoichi would rather she felt a strong dislike for and/or distrust him than have someone else figure out how traumatized she is. And, looking at the notes he secretly took, it's by quite a lot.
What concerns him the most is how easily Sakura falls back into her personality, acting as if she had just scraped her knees instead of almost die from the strain the genjutsu Itachi put on her did to her chakra and mind.
Personality-wise, she was rather loose for being surrounded by three adult males while in a hospital. It couldn't have been good for her senses, taking what they've pieced together about the hostile relationship between her and her dead father.
Emotionally, though, she was much more relaxed when the children surrounded her. Which is odd; he'd think she would have been a bit annoyed with their prodding questions and concern. Instead, she seamlessly took lead in reassuring-
"Oh," he breathes in realization. "That's her coping mechanism."
"What is?"
He openly startles, at ease since he recognizes the voice and presence, but still sheepish at forgetting his current company. Shikaku had wanted to hear his thoughts about Sakura, to have a bit of extra time to think on it before they had to report to the Hokage.
"Ah," Inoichi mutters, shuffling into a more comfortable position in his office seat. "Did you notice the way Sakura-san relaxed in the presence of the children?"
Shikaku raises his brow slightly in interest before nodding, motioning for him to continue.
"How easily she started to reassure them? How one of the first things she did when she woke up was to ask about them? And had lightly scolded everyone for not taking better care of themselves, especially when she learned they didn't leave the hospital at all?"
He fires off the questions one after the other rapidly, mind whirring as everything he witnessed starts to come together like a puzzle. His oldest friend only stares back, knowing this is more his territory.
"Shikaku." He frowns, knowing his friend won't like what he says next once the implications set in. "Beyond suppressing and disassociating from what's happened, Sakura-san's coping mechanism is taking care of others."
There's a pause in the atmosphere as his friend turns that over in his head, already seeing why the pink-haired girl's coping mechanism isn't all that much of a good thing past the first glance.
"But then, who takes care of her?"
And that, Inoichi sighs, is the big question, isn't it?
: : :
The weeks and months following the Uchiha Massacre are confusing and chaotic to say the least. Not only is there a lot of gossiping, there's also an unnecessarily large amount of staring.
I have a facial scar, so what!? Shinobi get them all the time, buck up and get over it already!
And the stupidass pity they radiate is so annoying! I don't need or want it! I got enough of it already from the doctors and nurses at the hospital.
After waking up from a week-long coma, I was kept for an extra week and under "observation" to see my progress. It agitated me since I was never actually alone in the room, ANBU and the one ROOT hanging in the vents like bats.
Normally, that would have been fine, since it's sort of expected. However, on my last night at the hospital, the one ROOT agent decided to place a genjutsu on me as I was falling asleep.
Again, this would have normally been fine. However, I just woke up from a genjutsu-induced coma. My mind and chakra couldn't take that kind of strain so soon!
I bit my tongue though and let the unknown agent deliver my next set of orders. It had only served to keep me up the entire night, faking sleep.
Danzō had wanted to see me as soon as possible so that I could report what happened. Which, as one could imagine, was really fucking hard to do when everyone was staring at me! And, for some Sage-damned reason, the Clan Heads themselves decided to check up on me.
By the time I was able to make my report, I was more than mentally and physically exhausted. It was such a chore having to keep my wits about as I spoke, to make sure I didn't accidentally slip up on something that'd be bad for my continued health.
It especially did not help that the bandage fossil had an unusual air of smug success around him. It was so out of place that I had to consciously keep my body and chakra relaxed in front of a very real threat.
Then there's the fact that my conversation with Itachi wouldn't stop ringing in my ears.
"Danzō promises.."
"…take care of them. I promise."
Yeah, it's not exactly "fun" being constantly reminded of my sudden responsibility that I had no clue how to get started on. It's not like I could stroll into Dino's office and demand to know where the Uchiha children I know he has tucked away somewhere are.
Even worse, though, has to be that my training schedule got changed again. Now there's more focus on my iryo-ninjutsu and genjutsu, with regular ninjutsu being placed on the back burner so that I can still keep up with my taijutsu.
I don't technically know what warranted the change, nor do I particularly care. I just know it's aggravating and tiring as fuck - to do and think about. So I've stopped. Thinking about it, that is.
I mentally took notes about it all, but tucked all the information away for later perusal. Preferably when I've settled into the new normal and am less prone to get stressed about it all.
Unfortunately, that's just the ROOT side of things. I still had my "civilian" side to shove stress down my throat. Particularly, my peers at the Academy; those nosy, well-meaning little shits. Thank the Sage the teachers at least have some professionalism in them. Even if they are a little obvious in checking to see how the "civilian" girl is adjusting.
I'm here to become a shinobi and I won't back down from that. Kinda too late for that anyway. I don't think the Great Bandage Man of Konoha will be all that keen in letting me stay a civilian- or even alive if it was suggested.
Oh, and I've already had my first kills. There's really no normal, easy, or acceptable way of going back from that.
At least Scarface still treats me as any other student. It took an hour long stern talking-to from me before I returned to class officially, when he decided to visit me in the hospital, but it was so worth it.
And with the bare minimum of normality surrounding me, other people were put off kilter and didn't approach. Not a lot of people, unfortunately, but enough for me to notice who's staring and gossiping, and who's ignoring me.
I don't expect it to go away for a while, probably a few years when it stops being remembered once the massacre's anniversary date rolls around.
Overall, beyond getting my ass kicked around at ROOT in training and receiving several migraines a day with all the theoretical shit I supposedly need to know, I've had to keep up with all the people that started getting just a tad clingy with my only publicly known near-death.
Oh, and getting Sasuke to maybe think about seeing a therapist. Which, unfortunately, has seen absolutely no progress. Apparently "do as I say, not as I do" isn't a good enough reason for him to see some stranger about the trauma of his older brother killing his entire family.
Instead he decides it's better to see me for his trauma troubles. Not that I would turn him away, but just because I'm learning iryo-ninjutsu does not make me in any capacity a doctor or qualified enough to deal with others' shit.
I'm trying to get Ino to take over on that front, actually. Convincing Sasuke to see a therapist, that is. I'm not about to shove something like that on another child's shoulders, that isn't fair or her responsibility. She is a Yamanaka though, so it only seems fitting if stereotypical. Maybe there's something she knows about the whole process that'd make it seem like a good idea. Either way, I'm sure her father wouldn't mind if she took it up in lieu of torture and interrogation like all other stereotypical Yamanaka do.
She seemed interested when I brought it up, but maybe that was more morbid interest in the different issues our friends have which I pointed out.
She also apparently took to heart when I said, "There is no such thing as a mentally stable, happy and issue-free person. Especially in children that want to become shinobi."
Because the very next day she pulled me away to excitedly chatter about the various issues she picked up on everyone in the one of the younger-year classes. I'm not entirely sure as to why she was excited, but praised her nonetheless for her efforts in figuring it all out.
That…yeah, that resulted in a stilted conversation with her father about her new interests and passion for the clan arts. He just really wanted to know why and how I did it. Get Ino more interested in training, that is.
I don't think he believed me when I told him I honestly had no idea. It's not like I've known the blonde girl for long.
Either way, aside from that, nothing big, eventful, or noteworthy happened throughout the months following Itachi's forceful disbandment of the Uchiha clan.
Which is why, offically an entire year later, when I had finally settled into a new routine for everyday life plus several life-risking endeavors for a self-imposed task, Danzō (because who else) decides to fuck it all up.
: : :
On the bright side, I think sarcastically with a touch of relief, I finally know where all the Uchiha children are.
I had been searching for them throughout the year as inconspicuous as possible, very determined to keep good on my promise. It actually resulted in my stealth and sensor skills shooting up exponentially.
However, I had come to the conclusion that they were being held in a different area than Camp or HQ. As such, I had no such luck in finding them without risking a lot of unwanted attention. Not that it really stopped me from sneaking around and gathering information, but the point still stands.
Only now, standing right next to Danzō and overlooking a lot of black and brown haired children with similar features to each other, I've finally found them. Or I guess I was finally shown where they are.
Running a critical eye over all of them, I'm a bit surprised to see light in their eyes. That's practically nonexistent and quick to go extinct in ROOT. Add in the massacre I'm guessing they probably somewhat witnessed and, well, it doesn't make much sense.
What lies have you been told? I wonder as I continue to stare at them.
"Operative 86," Danzō breaks me out of my thoughts, "you might recognize these children. These are the Uchiha children I saved from the massacre a year ago."
Saved? The thought is almost enough to make me want to laugh. I content myself instead with analyzing how he's been using such bullshit to get everyone here to stay and obey.
"They are like you."
Oh.
That…
Breathe, Sakura.
'Like me,' he says, as if he actually "saved" me from Kizashi and didn't just buy me to use in a training experiment.
"You were much younger and had no background in the shinobi arts, but look at how far you've come in such little time."
It's irritating that I can't tell if that's a compliment, insult, or just stated fact. It's hard to study tones of voice when everyone is either silent, too emotionally inept for it to matter, or actual children that are still learning.
And it's not like any of the people Anna worked with were anything other than cocky, wary, or indifferent. It's kind of disappointing the lack of variety there was in her world for coworkers.
"Which is why I'm going to have you be one of the instructors in charge of their training."
I feel like I was just demoted. This at least explains why I'm even here without dyed hair or a mask. Pink hair isn't very inconspicuous or easily forgettable. I can guess his angle, using me as a familiar face to "prove" his "kindness" is worth the hassle of staying.
Though I don't understand why he would give me such a large project. This can't be another test of loyalty, can it? It's been like four years since I made any fuss.
No. This has to be about something else than that. But what?
Don't overthink it. Just hope that they're all here and accounted for, I internally sigh as Dino goes on to explain what's going to be happening from now on. I'm quite literally being handed the task I promised to do. Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean I can't be grateful about it.
"You begin today."
Where did I go wrong that I'm practically a full-time babysitter in this life?
: : :
There's good and bad news about being put in charge of the Uchiha children. Good news: Dino planned everything out. I don't have to put together some messed-up lesson plans. Bad news: I still have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.
"I'll take care of them," I said as if I can even take care of myself. What the hell was Princess thinking? Actually allowing me to promise such shit, ha! They'll probably end up more traumatized than they already are if they learn under my tutelage.
I don't even know what I'm doing in regards to the Brats. And most of them have parents to take care of them! Who the hell put me in charge of the health and happiness of children!?
Right. Danzō did.
Well. I hope he doesn't mind his new trainees knowing to always go for the potshot. If it works, it works. I'm trying to teach them how to survive, not look pretty when they fight. They'll probably grow up looking pretty anyways, knowing their genetics.
Which just reminds me of the fact I'm going to have to deal with Sasuke growing into his genetics. The fangirls he already has are annoying enough, who knows how bad they'll get once puberty hits?
Shit. That's going to be an actual problem, isn't it? I'll need to speak with Hinata and Ino soon about somehow fixing that. If we can kill the problem at the bud, then all the better. Each of us are popular in our own right, even if I still have no idea how. I don't really socialize outside of the Brats anymore.
Actually, why do I keep piling stuff to do on my plate? At the rate I'm going, I'll start forgetting to eat and sleep properly again. Which will just add even more problems consisting of concerned Brats and their parents.
Ugh, one thing at a time. I bite down a sigh, blinking tiredly at the group before me. Focus, Sakura. Focus.
Of the Uchiha children, the youngest is four-years-old and the oldest is eleven-years-old. It's not surprising that they're all so young. The moment someone becomes a genin, they're considered adults in the eyes of the law.
It is concerning though. Where are the others? The ones that were Itachi and Shisui's age. The ones that are younger- the unborns, newborns and toddlers. Are they dead too? Did they get forcibly drafted into something worse? Is there a point to worrying and wondering?
Yes, something inside me viciously replies. Of course there's a point to wondering. This is Sasuke, Itachi, Shisui, Mikoto and Fugaku's family. This is a whole group of people and children. People and children I walked and lived alongside for months and years.
I don't know everyone, don't remember who is related to who and how. But I remember the old grandmother that gave the Brats and I sweets every time we passed by. I remember listening to her talk about her grandchildren with fond annoyance and pure love.
Chieko-baa was thinking of baby names the last time we stopped for a conversation. She was going to become a great-grandmother.
She's dead and I don't even know the fate of her grandchild's child.
So yes, there is a point to wondering and worrying. If only that didn't mean more stress and sleepless nights for me.
I'm only..nine-years-old now? Or maybe I'm ten. I...can't remember. The days are starting to mesh together in a haze of colors and memories the longer I get used to my new routine.
I should...do something about that. Yeah. Hmm.
I don't scowl but it's a near thing as I spot one of the children start to lag behind in training. I'm already on the move before someone else can notice, because if someone else notices then everyone will be getting to see what ROOT considers to be motivation. It's effective, just not very pretty.
I'll have to revisit my wonky sense of time at a later date. And preferably figure out how old I am now. For now, though, I need to make sure this little eight-year-old can keep up with the others his age.
At least Dino has enough sense to divide the training and children based on age. I'd probably have an aneurysm if he expected four and five year olds to keep up with ten and eleven year olds.
Hey, maybe it's a good thing that I've been here since I was three! I'm probably being used as a reference!
…Itachi and Sasuke are going to owe me a fuck ton of shit when this is all over. They should pray that their wallets and bank accounts won't mind dying for my appetite.
: : :
Haruno Sakura isn't a problematic student. Except, she is. Umino Iruka doesn't quite understand it either but it works, somehow.
Sakura would stay in for lunch and help him carry paperwork one day, only to end up in detention at the end of that same day for something she did while being supervised by the other teachers.
If he didn't know any better, Iruka might have thought she was being nice to him - in her own, odd way. But he does know better. Sakura isn't a very complicated child, for all that everyone seems to think she is. She's just stubborn and unafraid to speak up; doesn't care until someone makes her care; doesn't trust unless it's earned.
Her values are clear cut and focus around one simple motive: children should be protected.
If he was asked, when he first started teaching her, what he thought about that, he would have frowned a little and given an unsure answer as to why. Probably would have mentioned something about being raised on such values.
He would have only been a quarter right.
Sakura wasn't raised on such values, she was taught them in a painful manner. She grew up knowing what it meant to not be protected, to be beaten down with none the wiser, to be denied help because the enemy was larger and smarter. She was shown the darker shades of life early and decided it never should have happened — which, it should not have. That's one thing to be grateful for, he guesses; the fact that Sakura didn't come out of the experience believing she somehow deserved it.
Now, if only he could teach her some self-preservation. He has noticed the way she puts herself last in things. It predominantly shows in her assignments; the way she writes about checking on her comrades first and making plans to get them to safety first, her own well-being written in like an afterthought. It also shows in the way she makes sure everyone has food in their hands before eating. The way she keeps them in her sights at all times when possible, always knowing where everyone is.
It's not even the fact that she does it subconsciously that impresses. The impressive part, Iruka personally thinks, is how all-encompassing she is about it. It's like there's no hiding from her.
He would have thought that if only covered her friends, the clan heirs she's always hanging out with. But no. She knows where every single one of her other classmates are, knows where those in the same year and younger are. Sakura even knows, almost half of the time, where those in the upper years most likely are.
He once asked the class if they had known which and where one of their classmates was, being one student down from when they all left for lunch. Sakura didn't even lift her head up from where she was trying to nap (again) when she informed him that his missing student was hiding in the bathroom with two kids from another class hoping to play hooky.
She was right, of course, but he still had to ask how she'd known that. He was rather unsatisfied with her shrug for an answer. She didn't even know the kid's name, while apparently knowing what his mother looked like and where he lived.
That level of observation, and to be done on a subconscious level, is prodigious. It would, also, get a lot more attention if she wasn't so outwardly apathetic about most things.
Sakura is rather contradictory - he already knows this, but it's more than just causing some trouble later in the same day. Her demeanor and personality paint her in a less favorably light, but her actions show a different picture.
For every occasion that he's seen and heard her tear his coworkers apart with just words and carefully pulled manipulations on her peers, he's also been witness to her sitting on the ground to speak soft, encouraging words to other children.
For every detention she receives due to fighting with another peer, he knows that physical violence was always the last resort she used. (Bullies don't respond well to being told "no" apparently, according to her.)
Sakura can be caustic and she knows this; doesn't even try to hide it. She can be the most toxic person in the room if she chose to be; hurting anyone and everyone that steps too close. It's not a trait she shows off or tries to tame - it's a tool.
It's also probably why all her peers like and respect her. Because she's honest about it. They know what to expect from her; which, in the Academy where they're taught to lie and act, makes her someone safe.
She's upfront about her ideas and intentions, words spoken like a warning. I'm not someone you want to be near.
However, tell a child they can't do something and they'll find a way to do it anyway. Really, he thinks in exasperation, she should know better - she does the same thing all the time after all.
She's doing it right now for Sage's sake!
"Sakura." He tries to sound stern, but he only sounds exasperatedly frustrated.
Still, he raises a brow at the pre-teen to at least look disapproving. He's long learned that guilt-trips don't work on the pinkette. All of her actions are too carefully thought out for her to feel abashed when called out.
She raises one right back, looking distinctly laid-back for someone he just caught in the library's restricted (for academy students) area. She doesn't even have the decency to hide the opened scroll in her lap.
"Hello," she responds easily. She stares at him for a moment before deciding to go back to what she was reading before he found her.
Holding back a sigh, he reminds himself that he can always question her later. Right now he just needs to know, "Where are the others?"
"Others?" She doesn't even look up, sounding distracted.
"You never do one of your schemes alone," he states flatly, unamused.
Sakura finally looks up, a slightly offended expression on her face. "That's not true."
"Yes, yes it is."
She looks even more offended now, even scowling at him slightly. It'd be amusing if he didn't have several other students to track down.
"Well?"
"I can't tell you." She shrugs, offense sliding away to make way for light mischief. "That'd ruin the whole point of the visit."
"Oh? And what's the point of this 'visit'?"
"Nope!" She outright grins at him. It's the most energy he's seen in her in a while. "That'd be even more telling."
"Detention for the rest of the week, Sakura."
The grin widens. "Fair enough I guess, sensei."
He shakes his head and motions for her to clean up so that he could make sure she actually leaves the library. Then he'll have to make her accompany him as he goes looking for the others that might have been involved. He isn't about to let her have a chance to warn them off.
And then he'll have to ascertain that none of them read anything dangerous and that they won't try to attempt whatever they read.
He can already feel the inevitable headache that he'll have at the end of this.
Just one more year, he thinks, wistful and optimistic. One more year teaching Sakura and her peers, and then they'll graduate and join Konoha's ranks. Most importantly though, they'll become someone else's headache too.
: : :
I already knew that some of the teachers at the Academy were assholes, but I can't believe I almost forgot about this guy.
Though, to be fair to me, he's rather forgettable. He's just so easy to ignore. It's almost impressive how much I want to dismiss him from my mind - which is actually rather dangerous, but come on! He's just so boring!
"Haruno! Are you even paying attention?" He sounds exasperated but I can see the way his facial expression twitches. He's actually really annoyed with me.
"Not in the slightest." Too bad for him that I don't give a fuck. "What's your name again?"
"For the tenth time, in the last hour," he growls with a strained smile, "it's Mizuki. Mizuki-sensei. Please start paying attention from now on."
Right. Mizuki. White Wash? Wash Out? Fuck, I can't even remember the nickname I gave him. How sad his existence must be for me to forget a nickname I came up with.
The only memorable thing about him is his shit teaching skills. But even that is sort of forgettable considering the kind of people I regularly learn under. A chunin let-down really doesn't compare to one of Dino's Masks.
I think I'm a better teacher than him, and I hate teaching because of all it currently represents in my life. That has to say something about how bad he is.
"Haruno!"
"Look, you're really boring. If I didn't already know that you'd give me detention for it, I would be asleep right now. So, let's just ignore each other from now on, yeah? Win-win."
"Detention!"
"Damn it."
Well, you can't win them all.
: : :
Yamanaka Ino hasn't known Haruno Sakura for long, not like everyone else. She's only known the other girl for about a year and half, easily fitting into the little group and finding herself having more fun than she's ever had since entering the Academy. But Ino doesn't have to know someone to see how they work and tick.
The first time she really saw Sakura, as someone other than a classmate or person with an odd hair color, she had been on her way back outside from using the bathroom. Her pastel pink hair caught her attention first, then it was her mint green-eyed glare.
For a six-almost-seven year old, she stood impossibly tall as she physically hid another student from the view of the three girls in front of her. The student behind her was hunched over but looked at the proceedings with wide eyes. The three girls were scowling but notably wary.
Ino only recognized one of the three girls, the one that stood in the front. Her asymmetrical dark hair is hardly forgettable. She had paused at the end of the hall, curiosity begging her to watch and find out what was happening.
"-rude to interrupt conversations," Ami, the one with the really bad haircut, was saying as she inched closer. "Oh right, you don't have a mom."
Sakura didn't even blink, just continued to glare as she crossed her arms. "What next? Going to say she died to get away from me? Your insults are painfully dull."
Ami bristled but didn't back down. "Stop trying to be some hero-"
"Damn right I'm not a hero," Sakura snapped back without hesitation, stepping forward into the three's space. They stepped back in surprise. "But at least I can say I know my manners and am a decent person. What about you? Instead of actually doing anything productive, you run around picking on others to make yourself feel powerful. Grow up a little, Ami."
Sakura had then turned her back on the three and gently, but insistently and firmly, dragged the student that was hiding behind her away from the area. Ino watched the two leave for a moment before looking at the three girls left standing speechlessly in the hall.
She left quickly after that, not wanting Ami to decide to turn her ire towards her. It wasn't that she was scared, it's that Ami could be very annoying.
From there it was like Ino couldn't stop noticing Sakura whenever she stopped attempts of bullying or pulled the class clown Naruto out of trouble.
She always seemed to be in a state of anger and frustration, always wary and defensive. It was hard to tell at first, especially since she didn't want to be caught staring, but Ino could see it during the times Sakura acted and spoke.
Her anger and frustration pulled to the surface, fueling her with the need to move and do something. Ino could see it in her eyes, the way they light up; her body movement, instantly relaxing at having a small outlet; her words, sharp and cold.
And yet, even with all the outlets she seemed to have, all the opportunities to let her emotions out, Sakura never took it or went too far. Just enough to get her point across, even by a little.
Ino didn't understand it, not really. Didn't understand why the other girl would not take the chances; would always hold back.
Then she befriended Hinata in a flower field and joined the group. Suddenly Ino understood.
Sakura doesn't care enough to fully let go; it isn't worth her effort, words or emotion. There's no point in letting go, no satisfaction or contentment.
"Why do you always let them run off?" She had asked once after watching Sakura chase away some older kids that were saying mean things about Naruto.
Sakura had looked over at her, slightly confused but entirely earnest in her response. "I can't tell them how or what to think, that'd be like I'm trying to control them. Scaring them into following my words wouldn't make them realize why and how they're wrong in the first place."
Ino couldn't stop noticing things about her friend after that. Couldn't not see the way green eyes always evaluated everyone, checking to make sure they're all okay. Or how she positioned herself to be able to see them all. And the way she would randomly but casually check in with them ("Have you eaten yet?" "Had a better day than me?").
She especially could not not notice the times Sakura got quiet. Eyes a little distant as she stared at them and body language screaming exhaustion as she slumped slightly into her seat.
Ino doesn't like those days. They make her feel uneasy, seeing her usually active friend just..pause all of a sudden.
They didn't happen a lot before the Uchiha Massacre. Only lasted about two to three days before Sakura was back to making sarcastic comments and cursing up a storm about what irritated her that day under her breath. After the massacre, though, they happened a lot more often and lasted much longer.
Ino could tell that Sakura tried not to let it affect them, her quietness. That she tried to make herself seem fine instead of exhausted, especially around Sasuke.
Sakura had mellowed out over the years, according to Hinata. She was calmer and less likely to curse when speaking to someone. But the massacre just seemed to completely drain her.
Over the following months and year her previous energy slowly returned, but never to the amount it was before. But at least now she could and would show more interest in things and plan some pranks or schemes. It's an improvement, according to her father when she talked about it with him, and that's all Ino could really ask for.
: : :
The exact amount of time that I spend around the Uchiha children is a hazy number in my head and memory. I see them the entire week, or what feels like the entire week. There are times I just pass out from my own individual training, especially when I'm working on my iryo-ninjutsu. While I've made a lot of progress on it, the progress and effects seem to only benefit myself.
Heal my own broken bone? No problem, I have that down to an art form. Heal someone else's broken bone? Well, damn, I don't know what to tell you Janice but I think I just pushed your bone even more out of alignment.
Cuts and bruises are easy stuff I've mastered for a while now — both for myself and others. But anything more difficult for someone else and suddenly my chakra is slipping out of my grasp and control like an eel.
If I truly cared enough to figure out why (which I did, for a time. It's my chakra, damnit. Of course I wanted to know what the hell was going on!) I would say it's a trauma response. Apparently it's not just my mind that remembers perfectly well what it was like to be "taught" iryo-ninjutsu from Kizashi.
Suffice to say, outside of the benefit of not having to see an actual medic, it's quite annoying and frustrating. It's draining — mentally and chakra-wise — to be so focused on controlling the way everything needs to heal. I'm more worried about quality than speed.
This, unfortunately, has the side effect of passing out which throws off my sense of time and gives me a migraine upon waking up.
I just know that I've been around the Uchiha children (I really need to think of something else to call them) long enough for me to get to know all their names, ages, favorite food, and what they miss the most about the outside world. It's also, apparently, been long enough for them to feel comfortable around me.
I can't say I didn't anticipate it. I'm the only other person around their age that knows what's going on. I also don't hide my face behind an actual mask or keep my voice monotone or no-nonsense. Plus there was already some existing familiarity between us.
However, just because I know this doesn't mean I was all that prepared for one of the children on the older side to corner me and point blank ask me, "Why are we still here?"
How the hell am I supposed to answer that?
"Because Danzō wants you here."
Oh, with the truth apparently.
Kid's damn lucky it's just me watching over them today. The other Masks would not have appreciated one of the children stopping in their training to ask questions they shouldn't.
"But why?" He presses further, glaring down due to the slight height difference. Damn, hopefully I won't be short for the rest of my life. That'd be so annoying.
"For the same reason I'm still here," I deflect easily, trying to find a way to cut this entire conversation off.
I could lie, say something about danger and kindness, but what's the point of that? The only people I lie to are…okay, I lie to everyone, but it's not like I'm going to suddenly be spilling my guts to Danzō and the stupid tattoo on my tongue doesn't let me actually say anything to anyone else that isn't ROOT — not that I even have people I can call a friend or trusted comrade in this place.
But these kids - they were forcefully taken away from their home, even if it meant they got to live. They're stuck here, new pawns and tools for Danzō to use. They have no choice in the matter of what they do or who they're going to become.
Ironically, though not in a funny way, they're like me. Guess Danzō was right about one thing.
"You want to know why you're still here?" I ask quietly, hyper aware of everyone in the room. "Why you're isolated and pushed to train day after day?"
He nods.
"Because you're children. Malleable, breakable, bendable. You can be persuaded to do what he wants. You can be trained to be who he wants you to be. You're Uchiha. You can be better than the other trainees and Masks around here. You're nothing more than a secret weapon."
Ah shit, I didn't mean to say all that. It sounded so dramatic too. I just wanted to tell them that they're now little soldiers in training to be secret weapons.
"Okay." It's said quietly, resigned and knowing. "Nice to know." Thank you, for being honest.
I stare back steadily, taking the responses for what they are. I'm not surprised he already knew or suspected the reasons for their situation, he's fourteen-years-old and smart enough to figure it out himself.
"Okay," I respond just as quietly. You're welcome.
He stares at me for a moment, the stubbornness from earlier melted away so that the exhaustion behind it could be seen. He nods, more to himself than me, and begins to turn around to get back to training. Then he stops and tilts his head in my direction.
"Academy graduation is soon for you, isn't it?"
I blink in confused surprise, tilting my own head to try and get a better look at his expression. "Something like that."
He hums and continues walking away. "Good luck."
I scoff. If I could perform an experimental lightning jutsu at age eight, I think I can handle two low-tier genjutsu and one kawarimi.
Still, my lips twitch into a small smile. Stupid Uchiha's acting tough all the time when they're really big saps inside. Never actually saying what they mean.
Good luck with the change.
"Whatever," I mutter and turn back to my own duties; making sure everyone is doing what they're supposed to and not falling behind.
Thanks, I'm going to need it.
/ : : : \
I wanted to show that despite her adult thinking/mindset, Sakura is still just a child with (un)healthy coping mechanisms (no matter how much she denies it to herself). Having her first kills within a day of each other was a bit of a tipping point.