Hello, all!

Sorry it's been so long since I've been able to post. I am going to now post the first and third Sunday of each month now that my life is more settled. Thank you again to my beta, Tearose_Romantic! You're the absolute best.

Hope you guys enjoy the update!

Chapter 7 - Shared Memories

August 28th, 1988

Sirius piled the last bit of finished paperwork on his desk into the "finished" box that he and Kingsley shared. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, putting his arms behind his head. He stared at the pictures on his desk. One was of his extended makeshift family. Two years had passed since Harry's sixth birthday party but looking at the photo the Lovegoods took made it feel like yesterday. Molly was holding the birthday cake she had made Harry, and Arthur was smiling sheepishly next to her, then leaning back over to a laughing Lily to ask about the Muggle mail system. Remus had his arm around Sirius' shoulders, and they were laughing about the two Weasley twins in front of them, who had just told a joke he couldn't remember anymore. Bill, Percy and Charlie were smiling at the camera shyly. Then, down at the very bottom, Ginny, Harry, Ron and Luna sat together. Ginny, holding Harry's hand, smiled at the camera and then turned back to smile at Harry. Ron was making a funny face into the camera, and Luna looked like she was thinking about whatever magical creature she had dreamed up that day. Harry had an enormous smile on his face. It was that smile that kept him going on long days filled with paperwork in the office. It reminded him of who he was fighting for.

Next to the photo of his family, stood a framed wanted poster. The poster of Peter Pettigrew. It had been almost seven years since he had last been seen, which means the case would soon be technically closed. For every day of the last month, he and Kingsley had been searching. He had three more days before his boss Scrimgeour made him hand over the case to a Junior auror to start the cold case processing. He sighed heavily.

Back when they had gotten the house in Ottery St. Catchpole, they had put up protective wards. The blood wards from James' death were powerful – anyone who had the desire to harm its inhabitants couldn't enter – but they didn't prevent people from finding the house. So, they hid in plain sight. In the Muggle village. But he was afraid of Peter Pettigrew more than anyone else. Because if he wanted to find Harry but not hurt him, he would be able to slip right through the wards.

Sirius leaned forward and held his head in his hands. He heard Kingsley come in behind him and felt a large hand pat his upper back.

"Sirius go home."

Sirius shook his head. "Kingsley there are millions of rats in this country. How are we supposed to find him?"

He heard Kingsley sigh. "We will find him. It may not be today or tomorrow, but we will find him. He cannot hide forever. Someday, he will come out of the woodwork. If what you've told me about Voldemort coming back someday is true, then Pettigrew will try to help him. And when that day comes, he will no longer be invisible. Be glad we haven't seen him yet, because I think the day that we see Pettigrew is the day we start preparing for war. Now go have dinner with your family, Sirius. When this case goes officially cold, they'll need you."

Sirius nodded, feeling the weight of what the older man had said. He and Kingsley had had many recent late-night discussions on the potential future implications on the re-appearance of Peter Pettigrew. He was the Ministry's most wanted criminal, but the most difficult to find. He could be a sewer rat, field rat, or even a pet rat. There was just no way to know - until he wanted them to know.

He decided that Kingsley was right. He needed to go home, eat, make fun of Lily and Remus, and tell Harry a bed time story. It was his turn to tuck him in, after all.

Sirius tucked his godson in and went over to the bookshelf, ready to grab a nighttime story. He smiled as he saw James' Quidditch case on the counter next to the book shelf and smiled. He patted it, just as he did every night. As his hand moved towards the shelf, he heard a voice behind him.

"Sirius? Can we not read one of those tonight?"

"What's up, Harry? Don't you want me to read you a story?" Sirius asked, confused.

"Well, yes, but I was wondering if you could tell me a story about my Dad instead."

Sirius smiled. He had so many memories he wanted to share with the kiddo in front of him, but the question was always which ones?

"What kind of story do you want, kiddo?" Sirius sat down on the plus bedding next to Harry. "I've got plenty stored right up here."

Harry was nervous. He looked down at his hands and back up at Sirius. "Mum said that you used to live with Dad. Why? I know you didn't like your mummy, but why did you move in with Dad? I can't imagine leaving my mum."

Sirius took a deep breath. That was a loaded question, yet it was probably the easiest to answer. The only problem was how much to tell him. His home was a dark place, dark enough that an eight-year-old shouldn't be filled with those stories.

"Well, first off, I need to explain to you what my life was at home…

Flashback

"Sirius! Get up!" Sirius heard his mother's voice screeching up the stairway. He was on summer break and about to go into his third year at Hogwarts. He'd only been home for a week and he already missed his friends in Gryffindor dearly. The darkness of the house was sucking him into the mental state he always tried to avoid.

He rolled over in his bed and groggily got up. It was no use resisting his mother, since she would just send Kreacher up if he didn't get up; something that no one wanted.

Today his cousins, Bella and Narcissa, were coming over for lunch. His favorite cousin, Andromeda, had just been kicked out of the family for marrying the man of her dreams, Ted Tonks. He absolutely hated the rest of his blood purist family.

His mother wailed from the bottom of the stairs and he groaned again. "Sirius, the girls are going to be here in an hour. I let your lazy bum sleep until ten. It's bad enough you run around with filthy traitors and mudbloods, I don't need you late to family meetings as well. Now get up or I'll send Kreacher up there."

"I'm um Mum! I'm up!" He screamed. It was the only way to get rid of her. "Bloody hell. Biggoted bitch." He said under his breath. It was going to be a long day.

End Flashback

Sirius had, of course, edited out the slurs in his re-telling. "Wow… that sounds terrible. Your Mum didn't even come up the stairs to wake you up? And what happened during lunch?" Harry said, his eyes wide.

"Nope, bud. I wouldn't have wanted her to come up the stairs anyway, trust me. She was mean, not like your mum at all. So were Narcissa and Bella, although Bella was worse." Sirius shivered remembering when he got the news that Bella had tortured the Longbottoms to insanity. Back when he was worried about Lily's recovery, he hadn't put two and two together. "They threatened me. You see, I had been sorted into the 'wrong house' as far as they were concerned. Every Black that they could remember had been in Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. But mostly Slytherin. Horrible, disgusting Slytherin. But my family prized the pureblood way, and ambition was everything to those trying to keep their status and family fortune. You should have been there when my mum sent the howler when she found out that I was in Gryffindor…"

Flashback

Sirius was walking next to James shoulder to shoulder on their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was their first day of classes as they'd gotten there on a Saturday. The two had hit it off from the start. It wasn't that the other boys in their dorm weren't cool, it was just that Remus tended to stay away from them while Peter was extremely quiet. They already had galleons down on how long it took for them to become friends with the other boys in their dorm.

The two found spots for themselves at the Gryffindor table. They chatted animatedly about Quidditch until the mail began to trickle in. Sirius hadn't told James, but he was extremely worried about what his Mum was going to say. He had counted the days, and knew he was probably going to get her response today or tomorrow. He had been hoping that she would choose not to say anything at all but knew that with his mother that was extremely unlikely.

The butterflies in his stomach turned into stinging bees as he looked at an owl coming directly at him with a red letter.

"Hey Sirius, someone got a howler! I wonder who it could be!" James had said, completely unaware of his new friend's blanching face. James knew that his friend's last name was 'Black' and he was still trying to get used to the fact that he was a Gryffindor, but he'd yet to understand the repercussions for that unusual sorting.

As the howler got closer, James grew more and more nervous. He knew his mum didn't believe in howlers since she had gotten quite the handful as a student herself. She'd promised not to send him any howlers. Little did he know, that this was the first of an array of howlers from Mrs. Black that he was to hear in his short lifetime.

Sirius' heart was beating faster than it ever had before – the small boy thought it might jump out of his chest. The owl dropped the howler on his plate of food. Instead of shying from it though, at the last second, he sat up straight, fully prepared for everything his mother was about to say.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" The noise in the Great Hall was gone. The only thing anyone could hear was Walburga Black's piercing voice. "WHAT HAPPENED? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN SLYTHERIN! HOW DID I NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR? EVEN BLOODY RAVENCLAW OR HUFFLEPUFF WOULD HAVE SUFFICED. YOU ARE SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT TO THIS FAMILY. ARE YOU TRYING TO BECOME SO MUCH LIKE THAT BLOODTRAITER ANDROMEDA THAT YOU WENT FURTHER THAN HER? GRYFFINDOR?" His mother took a long pause, knowing that her silence would wound him just as much as her words. "I'm so disappointed in you. Don't think I'll forget this." Her voice had dropped to an almost whisper. Only Sirius and James had heard the final two sentences. Her tone of voice was concise and harsh. There seemed to be a knife in it meant to torture her son. It was the cut into his heart that hurt more than any of the yelling could. He was a disappointment to her, but so was she to him as a mother.

This realization only lasted a few seconds. He let his face return to the hard mask it had previously been. He turned to his new friend whose face was completely shocked. When he had asked the sorting hat not to put him in Slytherin, he had to admit he had been hoping for Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. But he did ask the hat for any house that wasn't Slytherin.

He couldn't be upset. This is where he belonged, and he knew it. This is where he needed to be. He looked at his new friend and grinned.

"James, did you hear something? That owl made quite a bit of noise for not bringing me a letter. Let's head to class early. We don't want to be late on our first day."

End Flashback

Harry's eyes had grown twice their size over the course of the story. Both boys were so into their story time that they didn't even notice when Lily began to linger in the doorway.

"After that, I did everything I could to make my mum mad. If she sent a howler telling us to stop pranking the Slytherins, we'd do it even more. If she told me to come home for Christmas break, I'd go to James'. If she told me to learn the dark arts, I'd work harder in defense. So," Sirius continued with Harry glued to every word his godfather was saying, "when I finally had had enough it was already the summer after my sixth year. I, well, corrected my mother's terminology when she was complaining about my friends and the fact that I was a Gryffindor, and she'd finally had enough. She told me to go to my room and stay there. I said no. Oh, was she hoppin' mad at that point. Instead I told her I was going to leave. She told me that if I did, I would no longer be a part of the Black family. I said, 'good riddance', and she tossed me onto the street on my bum, broomstick and trunk in hand." Harry gasped, his eyes wide. He stared into Sirius' eyes, eager to hear more.

"That was it. I was at somewhat of a loss as to what to do, but eventually I remembered the fact that James had always told me I was more than welcome to come to his house if anything went wrong at home and I knew your grandmother would welcome me in with open arms. So, I got onto that broomstick, as I was still sixteen and couldn't apparate yet, and flew all the way to Godric's Hollow…

Flashback

Sirius knocked on the door of the house furiously. He'd been on his broom for at least the past six hours. He wasn't exactly sure as he still didn't have a watch (and would probably never get one now since his mother had disowned him before his seventeenth birthday) but thought that it was about one or two in the morning. He banged on that door as hard as he could. His anxiety rose as he realized that likely no one was coming. It was far too late for anyone to be awake, and if he didn't want to sleep in the garden he needed to start thinking.

Time for plan B, Sirius thought to himself. He found a pebble that he knew would be there since a huge amount lined their little tulip arrangement in the front. (James' former room was the same nursery that had been blown up in Voldemort's attack; which meant that at the time, it was very easy to hit his best friend's windows with pebbles until he woke up.) Exactly fourteen pebbles later, his best friend's head was sticking out the window just as Sirius was about to throw his fifteenth.

"Sirius?" James asked groggily. It took him a good minute to figure out who it was first, though. "Sirius what the bloody hell are you doing, throwing pebbles at my window like a freaking idiot at two thirty in the morning?"

Well, Sirius thought, at least my inner clock's still working! Sirius replied with a grin. "Well," he was trying to keep his grin solid on his face, "it seems to be that about six hours ago I was completely disowned from the Black Family and kicked out of my own house with nothing but my broomstick and my trunk. I was hoping I could stay with you for a while, Jamie! As long as you don't mind me eating all your food!"

James looked like he was trying to process all of the information at once. He made the face that Sirius saw frequently during exams, as if his brain was thinking through the story. James never had been much of a morning person.

"Um, sure Sirius. Hang on. Let me get the door."

End Flashback

"Wow." Harry said to his godfather, enthralled in the stories of his past.

"I know. Your father didn't ask any questions once we got in the house. He just took my stuff from me, told me the kitchen was open and that I could ask any of the house elves for food, and threw my stuff in the guest bedroom that I always stayed in. I wouldn't say that the entire process from me being outside to me being asleep took more than fifteen minutes. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could finally sleep peacefully. It was quite impressive." Sirius smiled as he thought about the memory he'd just shared with his best friend's son.

Suddenly, he was pulled out of his thoughts by a certain woman clearing her throat. Both boys' heads snapped in her direction.

"Sirius, I think it's time for him to actually go to bed now, not that I'm complaining that you're telling him stories of yourself and James, but we do have to go shopping with the Weasley's tomorrow for their school supplies. Not to mention you two have gone half an hour past bed time." Lily smiled at Sirius.

"But Mum!"

"Of course, of course. Alright little Prongslet, it's time for you to get to bed. I told you my stories now you need to catch some beauty sleep!" Sirius said, tucking him in and making sure that he was snug before kissing him on the forehead and giving Lily a wink on his way out.

Lily was just about to turn around and turn off the light when she heard a quiet, "Mum?"

Lily looked at her son. He was the most precious thing in the world to her. His somewhat afraid, yet curious, face told her that she had a hard question waiting for her. "Yes, dear?"

"When did you fall in love with Dad?" Harry paused at the mixed reaction he saw on his mother's face but smiled when he saw her smile.

"Sometimes people fall in love with someone before the other person does or with the other person completely unable to reciprocate said feelings. Your father fell in love with me, or so he said, the moment he saw me on Platform 9 ¾. It took me a very long time to see the good in him and until then, I was anything but in love with him. I actually quite hated him. He needed to mature quite a bit before we could have a real friendship, that eventually turned into love. It was when we were able to trust each other that I knew I loved him. I'll tell you the rest of the story another day when you're older, but Harry, your father was a good person. He could be a bit of a git some days but for the most part, he was amazing. He was the most noble and caring person I will ever know. The hard part was that he didn't always show it. It took me a very long time to get him under my skin. But when I finally found him there, I was entranced. I just couldn't get enough of him. Harry, I hope that you find the kind of love in your life that your father and I found in ours. Just promise me you'll show the other person who you really are and not just what you think they should see, okay?" Lily looked into her young son's eyes.

"Okay, Mum. There was one other thing though. I don't want to fall asleep." The way he told her this began to worry Lily.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?"

"Well, I keep having nightmares. I'm afraid to fall asleep." Harry said, nervously. Lily felt her eyebrow raise.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked as she walked over and made a spot for herself to sit on his bed.

"Well… and don't freak out, please," Harry told her as he begged her with his eyes, "I keep having this dream where I see flashes of green, a scary laugh, and a song. Then I hear a woman scream. It always starts out with the song though. It's been driving me nutters, Mum. It isn't every night, but I'd say it's happening once a week. It's really scary to me though, even if it is just a light and a laugh, not to mention that every single time I wake up, I forget the song."

Lily attempted to hide her shock. He remembered. He remembered everything. After giving herself a moment to recover, she calmly explained to Harry that the Killing Curse has a green color to it and that she clearly remembered Voldemort laughing before he tried to kill him. This quieted Harry quickly. The callow, innocent look in his eyes broke her heart. "I will tell you one thing though," Lily whispered to her son as if it were the biggest secret in the world, "I do know exactly what song you are referring to."

Lily then began to hum the tune of 'Hush Little Baby'. Shortly thereafter, Harry fell asleep with a peaceful look on his face. She sighed deeply; he shouldn't have to deal with dreams like that. God knows that the next one he'll have is of me getting blasted into the wall. I need to contact Severus.

She went down the hallway to her room, pulled down the stairs to her library and climbed them quietly. It had become her nightly ritual for so long to see what she could do to help figure out what happened on Halloween night. She went to her medi-witch book on childhood sleep disturbances looking for a spell or potion that could help her with her son's dreams. Dreamless sleep would do it, but that wasn't exactly a practical approach for a child with a recurring dream. He would have to take it every night…

"Lily?"

She jumped and turned around. Remus Lupin's head was sticking up from the entrance to her little library, with a curious face. "I stopped in to see how Sirius was doing with the Pettigrew investigation, but was surprised to see he wasn't focused on it at all." Remus pulled himself up into the room and stood. "He didn't bring it up at all when I was talking to him. He seemed happy, told me Harry had asked him about James. So, I thought I would come up here and see how my favorite Marauder wife is doing."

Lily chuckled. "And if I remember correctly, I'm the only Marauder wife." Remus grinned widely.

"What's wrong, Lils? Your smile isn't matching what your eyes are saying."

Lily breathed deeply. "Harry's been having dreams. Of an evil laugh, a green light, and a song I sang to him that night. He was only fifteen months old, Remus, but he remembers something subconsciously at the very least. He even remembers my scream as Voldemort cursed me and my body was thrown up against the wall."

Remus visibly shivered. "Are you looking up the recipe for a dreamless sleep potion, then?"

Lily shook her head. "I can't take away a child's dreams every night for one nightmare."

"What is your solution then?"

She bit her lip. She had been a medi-witch in the spells-gone-wrong wing, not the mental health wing. They were entirely separate areas of medicine, and with her shorter war-focused training… "I think I'm going to ask an expert. But do me a favor, and don't mention it to Sirius."

Remus cocked his head. "Why would I do that?"

Lily winced. "Because it's Severus."

Remus looked at her. His eyes looked at her kindly, not judging her for what he didn't know about. "You've been talking to him since James died, Lily. I don't think Sirius is going to have an issue with you talking to someone who has been helping you try to figure out what happened when Voldemort died for all these years now. He might not like the bloke, but that doesn't mean he's going to be upset with you for reaching out for help."

Lily sighed. "You're right, Remus. But I've only ever talked with him about two things since this new status in our relationship. I wouldn't even call it a friendship. The first is how Voldemort could have survived, and the second is Draco Malfoy. I've never come to him with one of Harry's problems." She sat down on one of the plush chairs and gestured for Remus to do the same. "Merlin, James and I had talked many times about my relationship with Severus before he died. I had wanted to stick to my word and not ever contact him again after the incident at the end of fifth year. But then Dumbledore told James after we went into hiding that Severus had switched sides and would be working to protect us. I didn't know much more than that. He told me when I stayed at Hogwarts for that short time that he switched sides for me. While that is all good and dandy, it doesn't erase what he called me, and it can't erase who he was. Even if it was only for a short time, he was a Death Eater. One that wasn't working hand in hand with Dumbledore. I still can't trust him. But I know enough that this is going to take some kind of potion, and while most potions I am quite adept at brewing myself, I don't even know what potion is best in this situation." She breathed deeply, bringing her hand to her hair. "And the worst part is, that there's a part of me that just wants to let go and trust him. To say that he's been working with me for seven years now to figure out this damned puzzle that was that Halloween night, that he's working to improve Draco's life, that he cares about me."

She looked up at Remus, who appeared deep in thought. His legs were crossed, his arms folded across his stomach. He watched her, his eyes full of care. "I just don't know what to do. I know he'll have an answer, but it's difficult for me to reach out for help to someone I don't trust."

"Do you mind if I make a suggestion?" Lily nodded at her friend. "I think you're struggling because you're beginning to trust him again. But he hurt you so badly the last time, that you cannot forget the scar of his betrayal. You would have trusted him with your life, and he broke that trust. Years later, your son needs help and he's the one you feel you can turn to. You're dealing with the juxtaposition of your heart feeling that you can't trust him and your brain saying that it's okay to trust him with some things, just not everything."

Lily looked at her friend, her eyes wide. "You're right."

Remus' barking laughter settled Lily's emotions. "If you had told me first year there was going to be a day when Lily Evans told me I was right, I would have laughed in your face." She started laughing with him. They laughed even harder when Sirius, holding a half-eaten sandwich, popped his head through the hole in the floor.

"Is there a party going on in here without me? How rude for you not to send the invite!" He grinned as he took another bite and let himself up the rest of the stairs. Lily got up, wiping a tear from her eye. She told Sirius to take a seat and an easy banter fell between the old friends. Walking to her desk, she grabbed a quill and began to write,

Severus,

I know we usually only talk about Voldemort or Draco and Harry's play dates, but something came up tonight in a discussion with Harry…

Hope you all enjoyed! Thank you all for your reviews, they always make my day. See you in two weeks!

Writingblondie