Hi,

I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. School and work are getting busier! Anyway, thank you so much for all of the love you give this story. Thank you for favoriting, reviewing, and following! I hope you like the new chapter.

Always and Forever,

Ari.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, silent treatment, bullying, emotional abuse, implied sexual relationships, manipulation, panic attack, abandonment, stress, abandonment.

Disclaimer: I only own my OC's and parts of the plot you do not recognize from the Twilight Saga.

Chapter 21: Nightmare

"You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it's better to listen to what it has to say."

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

4:22 p.m. Chiago House, La Push, Washington

I tucked my long sleeve into my jeans and avoided looking in my vanity mirror, and I didn't want to see the pudge on my belly or the expanding roundness of my face. I winced, feeling my jeans cling tighter around my hips, "Babe, c'mon, we are going to be late."

"I'm coming," I called, slipping my shoes on quickly, and I grabbed my jacket, leaving the room. "Sorry.. sorry," I mumbled out, trying to take the basket from Paul's hand, and he moved it out of reach, leaning down to brush a quick kiss to my lips.

"We have to get there before Jared and Kim," Paul murmured, herding me out the door, using my keys to lock the front door. I rolled my eyes at the bounce in his step. He and Jared had been in a not so silent competition on trying to one-up each other the past few days, and it was starting to become unbearable. "We are taking my truck since I fixed the heater."

I smirked. I knew Paul didn't like squeezing into my car. I bounced down the porch steps heading to his truck opening the passenger door. "Shame, I liked cuddling close to you," I teased, knowing damn well I would still maneuver myself closer to him. I closed the door, resting against the basket between us.

"Who says you can't anymore," Paul asked, turning on the truck. I shivered when I felt a burst of warm air, and I leaned over, ensuring it was turned down to the lowest setting. "C'mere." He lifted the basket up, quirking an eyebrow at me when I didn't move right away. I grinned, sliding over, taking the basket, placing it so it was seated on the passenger seat. I set my hand on his leg, turning off the heater. "Why did you turn it off?"

"You are warmer than any heater, and I don't want you to get hot either," I tried to bite my lip to keep from yawning. Paul's warmth never failed, and it always made me feel sleepy. "John's supposed to be home this week, and he asked to stay over."

"Does this mean that I can't stay with you," He questioned, backing out of the driveway. I yawned, wrapping my arm tightly against his. I didn't really think about John having an issue with Paul staying over.

"I don't think it would really be an issue," I said after a moment. Jay didn't have an issue. The first time he had seen Paul come out of my room, he stared at him a moment before shrugging. "If you don't feel comfortable, it's okay."

He snorted, patting my thigh. "It's not about me feeling uncomfortable since I can be comfortable anywhere. I just don't want you to deal with any more drama."

I shrugged, drawing shapes into his arm. "He's gonna have to get over it, and besides, it's not like we are having-" I cut myself abruptly, pursing my lips. I felt his eyes on me as we stopped at a stop sign, and I still hadn't talked to him about the time I almost had sex with him. "Does it bother you that I'm not ready to move to the next step?"

"Making love," Paul inquired, pulling up to the beach. I felt my heart start to beat rapidly at his choice of words, and I inwardly cursed at myself for blurting it out right before we were supposed to meet our friends. I nodded, forcing myself to look at him. He grinned, putting the truck in park, before turning to face me.

"Why are you smiling like that," I questioned, feeling like a fish out of water.

"I'm just glad that you are talking to me about it." Paul reminded, pressing his forehead against mine. "It doesn't bother me, and I want you to be ready, and sure it's something you want. I don't want you to have sex with me because it's something that you think I want."

I let my hand trail up to his cheek. "This may sound stupid, but is it something you want?"

"Yeah. You are the only one I want. I want to know you intimately, but I know that time will come. Like I said, I want you to feel comfortable and ready," Paul murmured, intertwining our hands. "I'm telling you this because I want you to know where I stand, Laryssa. Not to pressure you because the intimacy we have now is good with me." I gazed at him, and I didn't know what I did to deserve to be with him. I stared into his dark brown eyes, and all I could see was the love and adoration. He could do so much better than me...I knew I was nothing special. But he made me feel like I was.

"I love you," I breathed before pressing my lips to his. He pulled me onto his lap, and I ignored the pain stemming from the steering wheel digging in my hip. I pulled back, memorizing his face.

"I love you," He cupped my face, brushing his thumb against my cheek. His fingers traced my jaw, and I had to shove down the insecurity that he was touching the double chin. I focused on the pad of his thumb and how nice it felt against my skin. "My beautiful girl." He smirked, tapping the tip of my nose. I felt a pleasant shiver run up my spine, and I let my hands settle on his shoulders. I pressed a kiss to his cheek, resting against him for a moment. His hand squeezed my hip, and I glanced up at him through my eyelashes. Paul leaned down, and as much as I wanted to get lost in him, I knew the others would catch us, and he and I would be teased relentlessly.

I pulled back, "Let's go, handsome, before your brothers hear you being sappy and they decide to tease you relentlessly," I laughed, settling back in the middle.

Paul rolled his eyes, opening up the door. I passed him the basket before getting out of the truck. I closed the door, and Paul took the opportunity to block me against the door. I smirked up at him, setting my hand on his chest, preventing him from moving closer. "Is there something else you needed?"

He narrowed his eyes, keeping my gaze. Paul set the basket on top of the truck, placing his hands beside my head. "Yes, there is something that you forgot. What is it?"

I pursed my lips, "You're going to have to remind me what it is." I let my hand slide up from his chest to his neck, and I could feel his racing pulse beneath my fingers. I knew from his wide grin he could hear my heart wanting to beat out of my chest. Paul licked his lips, one of his palms leaving the truck settling on my waist. He shuttered when my finger directly connected with his pulse, and his grin faltered. A surge of confidence ran through my body, and I leaned towards him, smirking internally at his sharp breath. "You're not reminding me," I teased, feeling his pulse quicken again. I grinned at him, taking my finger off his pulse and touching his bottom lip.

"I may have rubbed off on you too much, Laryssa," He grinned back, kissing the pad of my finger. "My beautiful, confident girl."

I beamed under his praise, standing on my tiptoes to press my lips against his. I was past the point of caring if the others teased us, and I'd make it up to him. "Careful, you praise me too easily, and it's gonna go right to my head," I whispered against his lips.

Paul hummed, putting his hand on my lower back tugging me closer into his body. "Right where it belongs," He pulled back to speak, only to use his other hand to reconnect us.

"What the hell is going on here," I jumped back against the truck, accidentally biting Paul's lip. Paul turned, putting a finger to his mouth, making sure to rise to his full height.

I peered around his shoulder, seeing John, with his arms crossed and his face scrunched like a pug. He only got that look when he was pissed off. I spared a glance to the other male beside John, glaring at the two of us. He looked oddly familiar, but I couldn't place him. I set my hand on Paul's waist, moving around him silently, letting him know that I would handle it. "Hello to you too. When did you make it in?"

"Nope. We aren't doing this indifferent attitude. What were you raised without morals?" I took a step back, feeling Paul's hand settle on my waist. I watched John's eyes dart to the action, "You, get your filthy hand off of her. Laryssa, let's go now." He snapped his fingers at me.

"What's got your boxers in a twist," I felt my temper rise at the audacity of him. I had caught him in several compromising positions before, and I didn't want to deal with his shitty double standard. "We were kissing. Besides, what right do you out of all people have to berate me?"

"Catching my little sister dry humping at the beach is my problem. What the hell is a matter with you," John took a step forward, and I could feel Paul's tremors start. I grabbed his hand, silently urging him to try and remain calm. He inhaled deeply, his fingers intertwining with mine.

"Dry humping?" I scoffed, feeling Paul take another deep breath and his tremors stopped. "We. Were. Kissing." I emphasized each word, sending a glare towards him.

John's friend took a step forward, his eyes still angry, "I don't want to intrude but-"

"Then don't," I snapped. Paul gently squeezed my waist, and I tried to relax. His friend stared at me, crossing his arms narrowing his gaze at me. I turned my attention back to John, watching him roll his eyes and look at the sand, "What? Now you have nothing to say? Not only do you jump to conclusions, but you disparage Paul by calling him filthy and accusing me of not having any morals. You've met him before." John stayed silent, and I felt the blood rush to my ears. "At the very least, you could apologize." I let out a deep breath, clicking my tongue at him in disbelief when he stayed silent. "Well, when you finally get the guts to apologize, you know where to find us." I turned, getting the basket and grabbing Paul's hand, walking away from them.

Paul took the basket from my grasp, pulling me to a stop once we were far away. "Hey." I stopped staring up at him.

I froze, touching my finger to his bottom lip. I winced, letting my hand drop, seeing the dried blood. He rubbed his lip, removing the dried blood. "Fuck... Baby, I'm so sorry."

"It's healed. See" Paul smiled at me, touching the side of my face. "Are you okay?" I took a deep breath, nodding, and I felt his lip again. It was a little swollen. "Babe, c'mon enhanced healing."

Paul pinched my cheek lightly before he grabbed me, turning me. I wrapped my arm around his neck, holding onto him, barely catching Jared running in my peripheral vision. "Damn it," Jared yelled, jogging back towards us. I kept my arm around Paul, figuring out quickly that Jared was trying to grab me. I detached myself from Paul, glaring at the two of them. I was over their competition.

"Were you going to throw me in the water?" I asked, staring at Jared incredulously while he grinned sheepishly. I turned, seeing Kim shaking her head. "If you and Paul wanna compete, fine. Don't drag Kim or me into your antics!"

Jared grinned at me, taking a step toward me. I pointed at him, trying to send him my best 'don't you dare' face. Jared raced towards me, and Paul jumped into action, wrestling him to the sand. I watched in mild fascination and horror as they shoved each other's faces in the sand. Kim stopped next to me as we watched them continue to try and beat each other. "We love idiots, don't we?"

I snorted, wrapping my arm through hers. "Looks that way." Paul grinned up at me when he successfully pinned Jared. "How lucky are we," I murmured fondly, grinning back at him. Kim pulled further down the beach to set up, leaving the guys behind us. "Jared was really going to drag me into the water," I mumbled, helping her unfold the blanket.

"I tried to stop him," She snickered, sitting on the blanket. I sat beside her, glancing at her nails. She held her hands out, wiggling her fingers. I held them, grinning at how detailed she had made her nails. "What do you think?"

I stared at the galaxy nails, admiring the constellations that she did. "They look amazing as always. I dare you to have Jared be your model."

Kim giggled, leaning against my shoulder. "Done. You have to do Paul's makeup and picture."

"Done," I listened to them argue with each other. Kim sighed, closing her eyes. "You okay, Kim?" She shrugged, staying silent. "Do you wanna talk about it or be distracted?"

"Distracted," She murmured, opening her eyes to stare at the water.

"I poured rainwater on your favorite admirer yesterday. Little jerk hid my favorite paintbrush set, and when he fell asleep on the couch, so I got him." She laughed, holding her stomach. I maneuvered her, pulling out my phone to show her the pictures. "He's upset at me, but I got them back."

"He's such a cutie," She zoomed in on his face, brushing her finger over his angry face. "I wish I had a baby brother."

"I'll sell him to you. No returns though, he's final sale" I smirked, resting my head on her's, wondering what was running through her mind. Her smile didn't seem as bright. "We should have a girls' night, and we can watch Thor and gorge out on coconut brownies and ice cream." I elbowed her suggestively, knowing how much she loved the blond god.

"I don't understand how you don't think he's hot," She mumbled, closing her eyes. "I want a whole pan of the brownies."

"I mean, I can see the appeal, but if I agree completely, I want half of the brownies," I offered, wincing when she shoved her bony elbow into my ribs. "Fine, I lied, and I can't see it."

"What are we doing here," I lifted my head, seeing Embry leering over us. I narrowed my eyes at him when he started swaying as if he was going to lay on us. Embry ignored my warning stare as he draped himself over us.

"Embry," Kim whined, fighting against his weight. I grimaced, feeling how truly heavy he was. I pushed Embry into the sand, flicking his leg, and he left out a huff, glowering at us.

"What's going on with Jared and Paul?" I shrugged at his question, turning to see the two lounging on the beach, laughing. "Kim, you okay?"

"Yeah," She murmured, not sounding so sure. "I need some time by myself. I'm gonna walk down the shore, and I'll be back."

She got up, dusting herself off, starting to walk off. "Kim, I'm here if you need anything."

She didn't bother to turn as she spoke, "just some alone time. I'll get you if I need you." With that, she started walking off. I watched her feel concern bubble up in my stomach.

"She okay," Embry asked, starting to build a small hill with the sand.

"Not sure. But I'll give Kim the space she needs, and she'll come when she is ready." I turned, seeing Jared, watching after her. His eyebrows were drawn together before he turned to meet my gaze. He gestured to her, nodding his head in concern. I shrugged my shoulders, silently telling him I didn't know what was going on. He nodded, keeping his gaze on her. "How are you?" I turned back to Embry.

Embry gave me a deadpan stare before letting out a big sigh. "I miss Quil, and he's taking his sweet time to turn. It feels weird hanging with all the couples, no offense... but no way do I wanna go with Jake since his attention is with Bella Swann."

"What do you wanna do then?" I offered, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"Definitely not give you onions," He snickered, jumping to his feet when I tried to kick him. I got to my feet chasing after him when he started running down the beach. Internally I cursed at him when he was faster than me. "C'mon, that's like Vamp 101, and you say onions?" He called, giving a belly laugh when I took my shoe off and chucked it at him. I narrowed my eyes when he caught it with his stupid wolfy reflexes.

"Call, you are so dead!" I called when he held my shoe like a trophy.

"If you give me onions, I will be," He called out, and I felt my face burn in embarrassment when I caught Sam and Emily walking down the beach hand in hand. I saw Sam try and hide his smile. I put my hands over my face, listening for Embry's steps coming closer. "It was in good fun, Rys... sorry." I dropped my hands, running at him, using some momentum to wrap my arm around his neck and bring him down to my level. I rubbed my knuckles against his head, laughing when he pretended to struggle against me. He got out of my grip, and I bent over laughing, seeing his hair standing up from my harsh handling.

I yanked my shoe out of his grip, trying my best to get back to where I had last seen Paul. I started panicking when I felt him gaining on me. I saw Paul standing with his back towards the water, and I pushed myself to be faster. I skidded to a stop a few feet away from him, seeing him staring at a girl who was our age. I could see his fists clenched by his sides and the hunch of his shoulders. I started walking closer, fully seeing her, taking a step closer to him and him shaking his head. I studied her closer, noticing how beautiful she was. Her hair cascaded in long light brown beach waves, her brown skin glowed as she stood tall, and her bright green eyes never wavered from Paul. The way she looked at him made an uncomfortable ball settle in my stomach.

"Paul?" I questioned, feeling unsure if I should be interrupting or not. His head jerked up as he glanced back at me, and the tension in his body seemed to have depleted some. He opened his left hand and reached out towards me, and I took a few steps forward, settling my hand in his letting the ball in my stomach loosen. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, we should get back," He murmured, not sparing a glance at the girl.

"We weren't done," She mumbled, her voice soft, and she took a step forward.

"I have nothing more to say to you," Paul sighed, his hand tightening over mine. He turned back to the beach, pulling me along with him.

"Paul, please..." She called, and I turned to look over my shoulder at her. I could see her eyes start to water, and she took a few steps forward. She stared at me, sending me a glare. I turned away from her, squeezing his hand.

"Are you okay," I asked, glancing up at him. He stopped, inhaling sharply, and I stood by his side, silently letting him I was here whenever he was ready.

"She means nothing to me now... it was all in the past," Paul sighed, turning to face me. "Nothing was happening, and she just came out of nowhere." He searched my face like he was waiting for something.

"Okay... are you okay," I repeated my question, frowning when I looked at him. He stayed silent, and I didn't see any red marks on him. "Did she say something rude to you? Did she hit you?" I looked back, not seeing her standing where we left her. "Paul, you're freaking me out. Tell me, and I'll make her fall to her knees and apologize."

I grimaced when he snorted, his hand moving to rest on my face. "Who would've thought you would've been the violent one out of the two of us..." He trailed off, stroking my cheek. "I'm okay, Rys. That was Tiffany, and she just pissed me off." He cupped both of my cheeks to make sure I was looking at him. "She didn't touch me, I promise, my firecracker." I couldn't find it in myself to care about her, and I was more worried about him. I didn't doubt his feelings for me.

I rolled my eyes at his new nickname. "Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry," He grinned, and I couldn't help but smile up at him. His smile dimmed, "nothing happened, Laryssa. I promise." He once told me about the lack of trust and communication, and I could see the worry building behind his eyes.

"Okay, listen to me," I said, taking his hands in mine. "I trust you." He straightened his back, and I could see the relief written on his face. "I trust you, Paul."

He nodded, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I hugged him back just as tightly, rubbing his back. "I will never betray your trust." My heart melted at his vow.

I pulled back from him, taking his face in my hands, "I know, my love." I stood up on my toes, brushing my nose against his. "You may be the protector of the tribe, but I will be your protector."

"No one else that I'd rather have," Paul pushed my hair back from my face. I beamed up at him, trying to think of ways to make his unease away.

I lifted up my arm, flexing my bicep, "See these guns. They are gonna give yours a run for their money." Paul snorted, squishing my cheeks.

"I bet they could break an onion," He laughed, taking off towards the others. I stared at him in shock before I chased after him, and I caught up to him, jumping on his back, yanking his ear playfully. He gripped my thighs, spinning around fast.

2:53 a.m. Lahote House, La Push, Washington

I could hear the growls, and I looked around, seeing multiple bodies in black and wolves fighting. I glanced down at my feet, jumping away when I saw a pale arm not attached to a body. A growl sounded from my right, and I stared at the gigantic silver wolf. I found myself running to him, and I skidded to a stop in front of him.

A few feet away from me, he fought against the bodies in black, the snow before us littered in clumps of silver fur. I could hear the snarls and gnashing of his powerful jaws. I watched in fear as multiple beings were hanging off his body and as he struggled to try to free himself, and I could feel the fear radiating off him. There were numerous pops, and it sounded like they were breaking his bones as they clutched him.

The whimpers he was emitting were causing my heart to break, and I needed to protect him. I just couldn't figure out how. "Fight, please," I felt myself shouting as the wolf started to tire. "Don't let them do this. Don't give up!" I could feel the panic start to settle in my chest. I tried to run forward, but the wolf would get farther away from me when I got close. "You are stronger than them. Please fight! You promised you would come back to me!" Bile rose in my throat when one of the beings moved to the wolf's neck. I watched in horror when they wrapped their arms around his neck and squeezed. I screamed when I heard the snap, and I felt my knees give out when the wolf was dropped without remorse. My heart felt like it was ripped right out of my chest when the life drained from his eyes. The beings evaporated, and suddenly the wolf was right in front of me, his brown eyes wide open with pain etched in them and his mouth open in a silent howl. I felt myself reach out, and I felt the softness of the silver fur. Slowly, the coat seemed to disappear, and Paul's body took the wolf's place. He laid before me, his eyes wide open and his mouth open like he cried out when they killed him. I pressed my hand against his chest, and I couldn't feel the thump of his heart.

"NO!" I screamed, shooting up from the bed, panting wildly. I struggled against someone's hands as I tried to push the memory of him being killed right in front of me out of my head. "NO...NO...NO..."

"Laryssa," I fought against the hands, "baby open your eyes! It's me... it's me..." my eyes shot open and settled on Paul next to me. Concern was written all over his face. I let out a sob and threw myself in his arms. "Baby... tell me what's going on... what do I do?" I listened to his rapid heartbeats as I tried to shove the dream away. I grabbed onto him like he was my last lifeline. "It's okay... It's okay... I got you."

"I'm so sorry... I didn't know how to help you... I tried to get to you, but I couldn't. I'm sorry," I whimpered, holding onto his arm tightly. "They took you from me."

"I'm right here, Laryssa. You can feel how warm my skin is, you can feel yourself move with each breath I take, and you can hear the beat of my heart. I am right here, and it was a nightmare. Right now, you are here in my arms, and I have you. We are at home, in a warm bed." I couldn't close my eyes to focus. "You see the mirror?" I nodded, squeezing his arm. "Look at us. Can you feel my hand rubbing your arm?"

"Y...yeah," I stuttered out, trying to calm my rapid heart.

"You are doing so good." I felt him press a kiss on my hair. "I've got you." His hand continued to rub my arm, "it was a nightmare; it won't come true." Paul adjusted us to lean against the headboard with me across his lap.

"Can we lay back down?" I murmured, and he nodded, settling down on the bed first. I buried my face in his chest, feeling his arms wrap around my body and his legs cover mine. "I'm sorry."

Paul shushed me, rubbing my back. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head, moving closer to him, wrapping myself in his scent. "Okay." I pressed my ear right against his chest, listening to his heart. "Laryssa, how can I help?"

"Keep this beating and keep your promises to me," I whispered, touching his heart, continuing to hold onto him tightly. I tried to close my eyes, but I could see the nightmare behind my eyes.

"Okay." Paul readjusted us so that we were sitting up. "C'mon," He pulled me out of bed and towards the kitchen. Paul pulled out a chair, looking at me expectantly. I sat down, pulling my legs to my chest. I stared at him as he moved around the kitchen. "My dad used to make this drink when I had a bad dream. I would sit right there, and he would stumble around, but he always helped me sleep." Paul set a pot on the stove before kneeling in front of me. "It sounded like a really bad dream."

"It scared me. Really scared me, Paul," I felt my eyes start to water again, but I shoved them down. I leaned forward, pushing my palm against his heart.

Paul placed his hand over mine, holding my hand to his chest where I could feel the slight thump. "I'm here." I leaned forward, resting my head against his. "Always."