Chapter 7 - Skills
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House stands bare-footed in front of his own office and he tightens the grip around his drip pole. He doesn't remember that glass door, but his name is on the glass so there are no doubts he really is the Chief of Diagnostics in this hospital. It looks like he's a sort of genius in solving mysterious cases, putting together weird symptoms to diagnose rare diseases. It sounds cool. He enters and just looks around, then sitting down in the chair behind the desk. He opens a dresser. A half bottle of Vicodin, a half bottle of Scotch. Pieces of a life he really can't remember.
His hand touches a pair of reading glasses and the last number of the England Journal of Medicine. He leafs through the pages, moving the magazine closer and then far, till his arm allows it, in an attempt to focus the blurred lines. He sighs and reaches for the glasses. He's still not used to presbyopia. He puts the glasses on his nose and he finally can read the recent review on lung cancer. Suddenly he stops and looks at the door in front at himself.
- Cuddy. From that same door she looks at him with half-hesitating half-embarrassed eyes. She stands still on the door, then she whispers a 'thanks'... and she just leaves.-
House closes his eyes, then abruptly standing up. These pieces of his unknown life are becoming to be annoying.
And...what if his memory can't come back?
The differential room is empty, and he takes a few step around, stopping in front of a whiteboards.
A few words have been written on it with black ink.
. 17 yrs. Female.
. Dysarthria. Swallowing impairment. Tiredness.
. Anorexia.
A male writing probably. But not his own.
. Respiratory distress.
. Respiratory arrest.
A female writing this time. In blue ink. He knows it. It would be impossible not recognizing it after having stolen her handwritten notes for months.
Cuddy's writing.
House takes the red marker and turns it through his fingers. He hears the light steps approaching from behind, but he doesn't turn, still staring at the list of symptoms on the whiteboard.
"MRI is clean," the well known female voice calmly says from behind him "Your team thought to a psychiatric disease till she had respiratory distress. She didn't improve with antibiotics. Actually, they worsened her symptoms. She's intubated now, after two respiratory arrests"
House just nods, not turning to look at her.
"Travels? Hobbies?" He asks, moving his eyes on Cuddy this time. His eyes travel from her heels to her pencil skirt and the tight shirt which stresses out her breast.
"Er... no recent travels. According to her anamnesis she liked reading books, but she recently quit because of tiredness"
House's eyes focus again on the whiteboard. He abruptly turns his head to stare at Cuddy, but he just looks into her eyes piercingly not saying a word.
"It's not anorexia," he says at last "She quit solid food because she can't swallowing. And you don't quit a relaxing pleasure because of tiredness. She quit because she literally can't keep her eyes open. Weak ocular muscles"
House writes 'palpebral ptosis? ' in capital letters and red ink under the list of symptoms, and he turns to look at Cuddy again.
"Myasthenia gravis?" She whispers as he nods.
"Confirm it with Tensilon Test, put her on prednisone and reserve a surgery room for a thymectomy" House says as Cuddy takes her phone to instruct the team.
She smiles at his accurate instructions about therapy.
"I have a medicine degree, you know?" Cuddy teases as he smirks in turn.
"You sure my so-called 'diagnostic team' has one too?" He jokes, letting out a laugh that resounds inside his skull making him grimacing. He ignores how Cuddy's eyes looks at him worryingly.
"Now you owe me a beer, and at least a dinner, woman" he teases as a smile curls up Cuddy's lips again.
"You're sure you're right, are you? But you forget I monthly pay you for your skills, Dr. House" Cuddy teases in turn "DIAGNOSTIC skills" she points out as House lifts an eyebrow on that clarification.
And he laughs. A genuine laugh, not a mocking one. He shakes his head and looks at her again.
"Why did you feel the need to clarify it, Dr. Cuddy?" he asks, still chuckling and with a piercing mischievous look.
Cuddy wets her lips and gives him what had to be an annoyed look that instead turns in an amused one.
"Because, House," she pauses "the old-yourself never miss a chance for sharp sexual comments"
House nods with a thoughtful look, which turns in a sad one.
"This proves that... 1. I haven't aged well, 2. I can't no longer getting laid without having to pay for it and 3. I hide under smutty innuendos my crush on you"
Cuddy's mouth opens in disbelief to his words.
It's like listening to House making a differential, just, this time, on himself. He has just analyzed his own behavior and feelings, rationally, like if he's watching himself from outside. It's definitely out of character for House to bare his soul like this, opening up to someone and even more to her.
House doesn't give her time to reply this time. He stares at her, then he just turns and walks out of the room.
Cuddy takes a step in his direction and then stops, watching as he disappears along the hallway.
.
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Cuddy waits till every member of the Board exits the room, everyone but Wilson. She massages the back of her neck, more because of tiredness than of pain, and she looks at him out of the corner of her eye, then turning to look right at him, sighing.
"You want me to tell House?" Wilson offers as she shakes her head instead
She collects the papers in front of herself and just stands up, giving her friend another quick look before leaving.
"After discharge, I'm not sure he should stay alone at his apartment, Lisa" Wilson says before Cuddy exits the door.
She stands there, not turning toward him. From the stiffness of her shoulders he can tell what she's thinking about, valuing the only possible option he's silently proposing.
"I mean, I don't know..." Wilson continues, "You know Amber. She and House can't be under the same roof. And...I love her, but... she can rip my balls off for much less"
Cuddy nods and turns to look at him this time. He's choosing his girlfriend over his best friend, but she can't blame him...there's no way two roosters can be in the same chicken coop.
"Um..." Cuddy bites on her lower lip and nods "but you think it's a good idea that I'm the one hosting him instead!" She doesn't hide the mocking shade in her annoyed voice "Are you conscious he thinks he's in love with me, aren'you? I can't do that. I can't ignore it. I'm not going to give false hope"
"False hope..." Wilson repeats "To him? Or to yourself?"
Cuddy glares at him, but she doesn't reply. Her lips part and she inhales like to say something, but just exhales instead.
"It's a bad idea" she says at last, shaking her head slowly.
"C'mon Cuddy. I'm asking you to open your house to him, not your-"
Wilson stops on the last word, and Cuddy stares at him, still, with a piercing, dangerous look in her blue eyes.
She runs her tongue on her lips, not averting her eyes from Wilson's as his face reddens.
"-legs?" Cuddy asks in a sharp but calm and low tone.
Wilson's hand runs in his hair as his face goes through all the possible shades of red. He swallows.
"Er... heart" he gives her an embarrassed look "I would have said… heart" he giggles at his own dumbness, and Cuddy just inhales deeply and closes her eyes for a moment, giving him an unconvinced nod. Annoyance turns in amusement at the look still in Wilson's eyes.
"You're an idiot" she says as her hand slaps his nape.
He watches as she moves past him. And he massages the back of his head as he can't help the little smile which plays on his lips.
.
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"You were right about myasthenia"
House meets Cuddy's eyes above the shoulder of the nurse by his bed. She stands in the doorframe, crossed-arms. Her white-coat on and a folder against her chest. She gives him a little smile as she shifts her weight from one leg to the other one.
"I know, but you're not here to congratulate, Dr. Cuddy"
He's still amnesiac, but he hasn't lost his ability in reading her. Her eyes. Her posture.
"Whatever it is, spill the beans, Lisa"
House swallows a couple of pills, then handing the empty glass to the nurse. They both looks at her as she exits the room.
"If I'm dying can I make my last wish?" He asks in a teasing and mischievous look as Cuddy approaches his bed.
"Sorry. No dying, no wish" she replies with a smirk "Dr. Foreman's going to sign your discharge in a few days. He's sure your memory will be back soon, and that you'll be better at home than in a hospital bed. You just need time"
"Yeah," he says as his eyes darkens "and in the meantime he'll run my department"
It isn't a question, but a statement, and he watches her as she just swallows and nods. He doesn't need her to say it out loud, he can tell it from her eyes. And he's amnesiac, but not so naive not to know that, after a neurological damage, he can't go back to do like nothing happened. Not if his license has been revoked because of the disease. And that's the point. No matter if he has just solved a case... the Board can't risk to have in its hospital a doctor with just a half memory left.
"It looks like another Dean of Medicine is kicking my ass out" House says in what meant to sound like a joke.
But it doesn't sound like that to Cuddy's ears, and she looks down, trying to swallow the sudden lump in her throat.
She takes a step back and her fingers leave the grip on the bed rail, but House's hand takes hers before she can be out of reach, and their eyes lock.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said," he says in a low tone "It's the only subject from our past I don't want to bring back"
Our.
She would lie if she says that 'our' doesn't hit and affect her, giving a sort of pang at her heart.
She shakes her head and she gives him a half smile.
"This Dean of Medicine isn't kicking your ass out," she says, this time putting her hand on his forearm "you just can't sign papers and see patients for a while. As far as I remember it's what you always do, Dr House" She stresses the last sentence with a teasing look and a mischievous smile and House smiles in turn.
"Yeah, I think I heard something about this" he playfully replies as Cuddy nods and chuckles.
"Anyway," Cuddy says again "when you're ready to be back, I'll supervise your 200 hours of internship and I'll be in the commission of your final test"
"Uhm, these roles reversal sounds interesting" he says with a smirk "Flirting with the teacher is included?"
She rolls her eyes in what should be an annoyed look, but she fails in not smiling back.
"Not feigning indignation with me, Sunshine" House playfully rebukes her "I haven't ask you for a special review before my test" he makes fun of her as she runs her tongue on her lips, clearly more amused than annoyed "Not yet"