Draco was numb for the next few days. He knew he was acting odd, but everything hurt to think about. Regulus kept murmuring something about disassociating to James, who was stubbornly trying to get Draco to work on research. Now that they had their bodies, Draco should have been leaping at the chance to experiment with them. It would be getting him closer to saving Harry and making all this worth it, but Draco couldn't find the energy. There was an undercurrent of fear that anything he did would expose him to the Dark Lord, so instead, he didn't think of anything at all.
His mother fussed over him in her detached sort of way, asking blunt questions and offering him potions. He knew Regulus and James were annoyed by her constant interruptions, but Draco accepted her help without complaint. It came too late, but at least now she seemed to understand the hell she'd brought upon him and was doing something to make it less painful. When Draco looked at her, he saw the way she pleaded for his life, knowing the outburst could have gotten her killed, and considering her actions in the last few years, it was a bizarre feeling.
In contrast, his father made no efforts to help Draco other than to critique and berate his actions. He was torn between being ashamed of Draco's weaknesses and sceptical of how he'd accomplished so much. He never sought Draco out, but whenever he saw Draco, the questions began.
"How did you know Potter would be at Godric's Hollow?" His father asked the second Draco walked into the dining room two days following the incident. Regulus had said that food would make him feel better, but upon seeing his father, Draco was confident that he should have stayed shut away.
"I have my sources," Draco said dismissively, sitting at the far end, as much distance as he could get.
His father growled, "I will not have you make any more mistakes. Your sources need vetting. I will not have some random person be the downfall of the Malfoy family."
"Is that all you care about?" Draco said through gritted teeth. His appetite was gone, and so was his patience. "Then you should have protected it yourself instead of getting yourself thrown in Azkaban. You started this!" Draco stood up and turned for the hall.
"How dare you!" His father yelled, and there was a loud scrapping of a chair.
"Move," James yelled, and Draco threw himself to the side, barely getting out of the way of a curse. He turned to face his father but was still so stunned by his father's blatant attack on his turned back that he failed to dodge the second.
It was a simple burning curse. Stinging boils started from his shoulder down to his forearm. Draco gasped at heat, but the pain was manageble. He'd been through much worse.
"You think this can hurt me?" Draco said, shrugging off his sleeve so the fabric wouldn't melt further into the wound. It was sickening how the irritated skin stuck to the sleeve as Draco ripped it off.
His father's eyes went wide, and Draco saw something that was once foreign but was now becoming all the more familiar on his parents' faces: regret.
"I'm sorry, Draco," he said weakly and stumbled forward. "Let me help."
"You've done enough," Draco snarled and escaped, leaving his father to whimper before his mother inevitably appeared.
James looked satisfied that Draco had done something, but Regulus was far more focused on the wound. "Kreacher can hunt down some salve, and it should heal within a day. Two at most."
Draco's gut curled. Had he been in his right mind, he would have never said something so out of line to his father. He needed to get a grip. He deserved curses like this if he couldn't keep his tongue.
Regulus gave a knowing look and said, "Don't feel guilty about that. Your father made his mistakes, and they are not yours."
James, oblivious to Draco's turmoil, said, "Of course, they aren't."
Draco met Regulus's eye and understood. He wasn't just saying it for Draco's sake. Regulus had killed his father, and that's how he'd come to terms with it - by believing that it was deserved. It sat uneasily in Draco's head. He always thought he was better than Regulus in that way, but it was looking like just another thing Regulus was right about.
He returned to his room, and despite James's protests, Draco spent the rest of the day in bed.
Harry had another close call only days after he escaped the graveyard, and Draco was brought forcefully out of his haze. It was a sick reminder that Harry was running for his life, and it was getting progressively harder for him. Draco needed to step up and play a bigger role again. He needed to find a way to talk to Harry or undermine some of the other Death Eater's schemes.
He had overheard his parents speaking about the attempt only hours after it happened. His father was angry that Draco hadn't been called the moment the report came that Harry was spotted, but his mother just pressed him for details. The same Death Eaters who had gone after Lovegood responded to a report that Harry had shown up at Lovegood's house and they missed Potter by mere seconds. It was bloody idiotic for Harry to do, and Draco could not fathom why he'd done it.
His parents' conversation turned to how the Dark Lord was returning that evening, and Draco started to spiral. Somehow, this would be another failing of Draco, and the Dark Lord would be raving. Regulus attempted to coach him through the right things to say, but Draco was having a hard time focusing on anything. James argued that maybe it was time for Draco and leave the manor entirely, but ultimately, it was his mother who saved him.
He was changing into his formal robes, rehearsing Regulus's suggestions and preparing to take off the rings when his mother let herself into his chambers.
She barely crossed the threshold, posture stiff and hands crossed, and said, "You are being requested to help elsewhere tonight."
Draco paused his movements. "What do you mean?"
"Severus Snape has requested that you help him with school inventory."
Draco had no clue what school inventory meant. "The Dark Lord returns tonight. There is a meeting," he said nervously.
"And I expect Severus will require your aide until tomorrow," she said stiffly.
Something like hope welled up inside him, knowing his mother was entertaining this excuse, if not the origin of it. Once, he would have been angry at being shoved out of the house and away from the Dark Lord, but now, he was grateful. Without complaint, he accepted his mother's instructions and dressed instead to go to Snape's.
Before any other Death Eaters arrived at the manor, he flooed to Snape's strange muggle residence with Regulus and a disgruntled James in toe.
"I know it's better," James complained, "but couldn't your mother have found another task for you? I don't fancy staring at his greasy head all night."
Regulus snorted, "Don't lie, you're excited. You always did seek him out in school to taunt him. Barty always tried to start the rumour that you two were shagging."
James physically recoiled. "Egh, no one would believe that."
Regulus hummed, James spouted off more defences, and Draco felt his spirits rise as Snape greeted him plainly and sent him to work. School 'inventory' apparently meant cataloguing and gathering photos of every student who had attended Hogwarts around the turn of the century. There were stacks of newspapers and photographs to sift through, so Draco took his seat opposite Snape far more willing than he should have been to look at old photos.
"Why would the Dark Lord care about students around a century ago?" He asked and reached for the first stack.
Snape looked at him blankly. "I don't believe any of us are in a position to question him."
"Of course, sir," Draco said quickly and dropped his head. He wasn't going to risk the chance of Snape kicking him back to the manor.
Snape sighed and said, "But one might assume he is looking for someone."
Draco fell into silence as he started comparing names in registries to photographs in papers, and James and Regulus immediately started theorising as to who the Dark Lord would be looking for. It was increasingly distracting, and Snape kept throwing him odd looks whenever he accidentally reacted to what they were saying, but for the most part, Draco sifted through the stack obediently.
Around midnight, Draco almost missed the name of one of the students he was looking for, and James and Regulus were getting increasingly more unruly the more bored they got. He was about to excuse himself to go get some sleep when Snape stopped his work.
"There is something else I need to discuss with you," Snape said, straightening. The severe look he gave Draco made his blood run cold. "I have a very useful portrait of a certain Black Headmaster. You wouldn't happen to know where that portrait's counterpart is?"
Draco felt cold and lied, "No, sir." He felt his face betray him as Regulus cursed.
"Strange, considering it was at Potter's side until you met with him the other day."
"That is a strange coincidence," Draco said, trying and failing to find his usual snark.
"How does he know this?" James asked, panicked, and Regulus shushed him.
"And I suppose it's also a coincidence that Potter escaped from the graveyard? And on that matter, why did you never tell the Dark Lord about your relationship with Potter?"
"What are you getting at?" Draco asked defensively, as Regulus said, "Get ready to run."
"I merely have questions as to how you can keep so much hidden from the Dark Lord. Only a very skilled occlumens could dream of it."
"I have nothing to hide," Draco said, trying to subtly reach for his wand.
Snape snorted. "I know Potter didn't cast the Imperious curse. Before Potter chucked Phineas Black's portrait, he and Granger discussed how you did cast it and how you set them free."
James walked closer to Snape, acting like an ineffective shield as Regulus retreated. "Get ready to cast Protego and sprint for the front door," Regulus ordered.
"So again, I ask, how did you fool the Dark Lord?" Snape said, but he just sat there, making no threatening movements while Draco was tense and unsure. Snape already knew this information; he wasn't questioning Draco, he was stating his betrayal as a fact.
"Indulge him. I want to avoid a fight, but be prepared for one," Regulus said.
Draco composed himself and said, "The Dark Lord can't know what I don't know."
Snape's expression was calculating. Despite the vague statement, Snape still seemed satisfied and he was smart enough to assume what Draco had done. "I don't believe you are devoted to the Dark Lord's plans." Draco fumbled his wand as Regulus and James readied themselves. "And neither am I."
Draco had gotten his wand gripped and feet planted but froze and asked, "Sir?" That was not the treat he expected to hear.
Snape met his eye. "I wish to see Harry succeed in killing the Dark Lord."
The was an intensity on Snape's face. He was acting serious, but this whole scenario felt insane.
"Are you telling me you are a traitor?" Draco asked.
"I have been since the moment he killed a woman I loved sixteen years ago."
Regulus stepped forward, appraising, while James looked dumbstruck. Draco said, wand grip still tight, "I don't know what you want from me."
Snape asked, "Do you have a line of communication with Potter? I need to know his location."
"No."
"How did you meet at Godric's Hollow?"
"Luck," Draco said not untruthfully, although the whole thing had felt very unlucky.
"Do not lie to me," Snape demanded.
"I'm not lying," Draco spat. "If I had communication with him, he would have never stepped foot near that place. Nagini is too dangerous." He bit his tongue, realising he shouldn't give Snape any more information.
Snape considered him. "If you have an inkling of where Potter would be, tell me."
Draco frowned. Was this all a ploy for Snape to capture Harry himself? "Do you really want to see Harry live?"
"I want to see him succeed," Snape said with an obvious replacement of the word live.
Snape had been close to Dumbledore, according to Harry. Was it possible that if Snape was telling the truth about betraying the Dark Lord, that he knew about the horcruxes? Draco opened his mouth to challenge Snape when Regulus shouted, "Wait, we don't know what he wants. He can still turn you into the Dark Lord."
Sensing his internal conflict, Snape said, "Go to bed, Draco. We can discuss it later. I won't tell the Dark Lord anything if, in turn, you keep this conversation a secret."
Draco gave a stiff nod but was still reeling by the interaction. "Yes, sir."
With James and Regulus watching his back, he made his way upstairs to the guest room and, per Regulus's suggestion, cast some wards to alert him if Snape tried anything. When Draco finally sat on the bed, James said, "He must be joking, right? It's a trap."
"I don't think so," Regulus said carefully.
"It's Snivellius! He can't be trusted."
"Unless he is trying to turn in Harry himself, which I think is unlikely considering how risky it is to keep any plot from the Dark Lord, there is no other reason why he would admit to that."
James looked aghast. "He's right," Draco interjected. "He should have turned me ages ago. He's suspected this for a while."
"But why? He's a slimy git."
"You heard him," Regulus said. "It was Lily, right? The woman he loved. I can understand the motivation to keep someone you love's son alive."
"I -" James had no idea what to say to that.
"Get some sleep, Draco," Regulus said, turning away from James, "You can keep our rings on if you want us to keep watch. We'll wake you early to return to the manor."
Draco nodded, removed his boots and settled in for a restless night. He turned to the wall just as James asked Regulus, "Do you really think Lily had something to do with it?"
He tuned out the response, letting his own thoughts spiral about how to keep Harry safe from Snape.
As promised, Regulus woke him before the sun was up the next morning. Despite being silent, Snape still stopped him before he had a chance to reach the fireplace. All three of them were on edge as Snape talked, but he just repeated his request to give him Harry's location and ordered him to stay quiet about the exchange. Draco left feeling annoyed that Snape assumed he wouldn't be good for anything other than giving information about Harry, but also comforted that there was a very real chance that he wasn't the only traitorous Death Eater.
Before Draco returned to Hogwarts, he braved the manor's makeshift cells in the basement. Regulus and James had stopped outright fighting about the Lovegood girl, but it was still a point of contention. They had been forced to reconcile because of Draco's near-death experience, but they hadn't willingly come together. James had kept asking to check on her, and Regulus, not wanting to create more conflict, remained silent about it, so Draco had done it.
He cast a simple disillusionment and snuck down. Regulus pointed out the wards and protective spells, and it dawned on Draco that James had wanted to come down here in part to see if he could rescue the girl.
"Whoever locked the door will be alerted the second someone else touches it," Regulus warned as James stepped closer.
James gritted his teeth, frustrated, but stubbornly kept inspecting the jail. Anything he glanced too long at, Regulus pointed out why it would fail. The floor is cursed. The walls are magic-resistant. The ceiling is indestructible. Instead of getting angry, James just turned defeated.
"I'm sorry," James said, turning away from the prison cell and towards Regulus. "I didn't trust that you know better than me. I was reckless."
Regulus stiffened. "I'm sorry I said you got people close to you killed." He shifted his feet uncomfortably. "They were lucky to have you."
"You weren't wrong," James said.
"I was," Regulus insisted. "I am here. Sirius is alive. Remus is. Harry is."
James looked at him, face tight and said, "I love you."
Regulus froze, no doubt waiting for James to retract the statement. Draco's stomach clenched, knowing what Regulus must be feeling. He didn't believe he was worthy of James, he thought he was doomed, and yet, so much of him still clung to wanting to be happy. He wanted to love James and have his love in return.
"I love you too," Regulus said, and James's face crumpled. He took a step forward and froze.
"I wish I could touch you," he said, and Regulus nodded stiffly.
Draco turned away from the interaction, feeling much like an intruder, but despite the awkwardness, it filled him with hope. If everything else turned to shit, at least these two had each other.
The remainder of the holiday was a blur of working on bringing Regulus back and dodging his family. Regulus started to blink out of existence more and more, sometimes multiple times a day, much to James's distress. He didn't see the Dark Lord again presumably since he was out of the country. His mother insisted it would be good for him to return to school via the train, claiming it would be good to spend time with friends. Draco shrugged, he didn't care as long as he got back to the castle in one piece.
Crabbe and Goyle found his train compartment before the train even started moving, and Nott and Zabini joined not long after. The girls claimed one across the aisle, making Draco incredibly relieved he didn't have to converse with his expected bride-to-be.
"How was your break?" Zabini asked, settling across from Draco. His other housemates had been apprehensive to say much but eagerly looked now that Zabini had broken the silence.
"Fine," Draco said shortly.
"My father said you almost caught Potter," Goyle said hesitantly, but he still sounded impressed. It bothered Draco more than it should have.
"What else did he say?" Draco asked.
"Um, I don't know," Goyle said quickly. Draco's tone must have made him nervous.
"Did he tell you what happened after? Did he tell you that he killed the Death Eater who was with me? Or that he wanted to kill me? Or that the only reason I am sitting here is because my mother grovelled at his feet, and on a whim, he decided to show mercy?" Draco was breathing heavily.
"No," Goyle said wide-eyed.
Draco snorted. "Of course, he didn't. Because he's convinced that being a Death Eater is a proper way to live."
"The Dark Lord is powerful, and those who serve him are too," Nott said proudly.
"Right up until he loses his temper and maims them."
"Watch what you are saying," Nott warned.
Draco almost laughed. "I'm the only one telling you the truth," he said bitterly and turned to face the window.
He spent the rest of the trip listening to Regulus and James scheme about how to get access to the Room of Requirement while the rest of his housemates watched him warily and pointedly avoided any topics involving the Dark Lord in favour of their upcoming NEWTs.
On the second day back at Hogwarts, the Carrows took away his detention. They had found other help (sixth-year Slytherins) who showed much more promise (sadistic tendencies). James was initially frustrated by the turn of events, but when Regulus disappeared for a full minute the next day, he suddenly became very content with the newfound time to research.
For the first time that school year, Draco felt like he was finally fading into the background without detentions or any new accusations against him. Of course, he couldn't just be left alone entirely since Weasley took the first opportunity she could to corner him.
"What do you want?" Draco sneered and was already reaching for his wand as she boxed him into the end of a corridor.
"I heard about the detentions. Guess you aren't as important as you think," she teased.
Draco scowled. "So you've come to gloat?"
"You're insufferable. I came to talk, but clearly, you are incapable of any sort of pleasant conversation."
"I'd say the same about you."
"Draco, just be nice! We need the Room," James groaned, and Draco only scowled harder.
"I don't know why everyone keeps defending you," she said, exasperated.
Draco snorted. "We must know different people."
"I mean it. All over the holidays, everyone kept saying how you weren't the absolute worst."
"Glad everyone's expectations are so high," Draco said, starting to walk around her.
She followed his movement. "You don't believe me? Fred and George think you are hilarious and claim you overpaid them. Lupin and -" she cut herself off, "well, Lupin practically thinks you're an angel. Ron was convinced you're a spy."
"I thought he was off with Harry," Draco said hurriedly. Ron should be with Harry. It was dangerous for any of them to go near family.
"He is now, or at least I hope he is. I don't know what happened, but they got into a fight, and when I went to see him at Shell Cottage, he claimed Harry liked you."
Draco summoned more snark as he made to move around her again. "Well, considering he dated you, we shouldn't be relying on Potter's tastes."
Surprisingly, Weasley laughed, "Did you know he dumped me for someone else? Coward didn't even say who. So maybe you should trust his judgement."
Draco's face betrayed him because Weasley quickly said, "Do you know who it was? I always guessed it was Slytherin. He seemed so ashamed about it."
"I don't want to talk to you any more," Draco said, finally pulling his wand.
"Isn't spreading rumours all you Slytherins do anyways? Tell me, it's not like it's you."
Draco's eyes flared, but he felt his face flush. Weasley was too damn observant.
"Morgana's tits. It is you," she said awed.
"It's not," Draco sneered.
"No, it fucking is and makes so much sense. Just wait until Fred and George hear about it. They've been threatening to go after the other woman, or well, man, I guess."
Draco growled. Both Regulus and James stood uncertainly beside him, bloody useless on how to deal with this.
"What? You don't need to play stupid," she said, "Afraid that the Death Eaters will find out?"
"I would consider it lucky if they just killed me for that kind of thing."
"Merlin, you're depressing."
"And you're infuriating."
Unfortunately, she ignored the jab. "I won't tell if you promise to help us. It's what Harry would want."
"Don't talk to me about what Harry would want. You were just some side piece," he said venomously.
"What on earth did Harry see in you?"
Draco finally flung a stinging curse at her and used the distraction to break free. She looked pissed as he passed her but didn't retaliate. He walked quickly with James and Regulus right behind him as his thoughts spiralled.
He could reasonably deny any accusations. No one had witnessed them together. He could just take off his memory ring, and any legillimens wouldn't see a trace of Harry. Regulus assumed that without the ring, even veriteserum wouldn't work. He would be fine even if Weasley opened her fat mouth.
But the following rumours would be devasting. Even if the idea of him and Harry together was unfathomable to most, they would assume that underlying were odd tendencies. His, or any pure-blood family, would shame and mistrust him.
He hadn't consciously done it, but he had traversed up to the Astronomy Tower and by the time he was there, he was breathing irregularly. He reached for the rail to get some fresh air when he suddenly remembered why he hadn't come back to this cursed place. He jerked backwards, feeling dizzy.
"Woah, slow down, you look like you're panicking," James said.
Regulus stepped in front of him. "Take a few deep breaths. Don't look behind you."
Draco tried to. "You can do better than that," Regulus said. "Weasley can't hurt you. You have the ring, no one will believe her."
"And I don't think she'll even say anything," James added.
Draco rolled his eyes. Of course, she would tell whoever she thought would believe her. The moment it got easier to breathe, he started back down the stairs. He debated hunting Weasley down right then and making sure she couldn't tell anyone, but James and Regulus watched him nervously, and he still felt a little unstable, so he forced the idea out of his head. If he saw any indication she had told anyone, he'd retaliate, but for now, he needed to focus on other things. Regulus and Harry needed him more.
The next day, he almost lost it when he thought the rumour was spreading. Walking down to breakfast, he'd already felt like there were extra eyes on him, but when he sat down in the Great Hall, Nott exclaimed, "They think everyone is bloody ponce."
Pansy peered over his shoulder, glancing at the Prophet he was reading, "Gah, and to think they let him run this place."
Trying to convince himself that they weren't talking about him, Draco glanced down at his copy of the paper. There was another article about Dumbledore. He had pointedly avoided looking at them in the past, but he needed to confirm now what it was really about. It was an absurd article about how Dumbledore was having a secret love affair with Gellert Grindelwald. Draco scanned it, and it mentioned how they often met up despite going to different schools, which was circumstantial evidence, but the dates made him pause. Dumbledore would have been at Hogwarts during the dates Voldemort was interested in.
James was thinking the same thing, "Could Voldemort be after Dumbledore? Or Grindlewald? Maybe he's taking notes on past dark wizards."
Regulus frowned, "But he didn't know who he was searching for. He would have known Grindelwald's name."
Draco nodded and shut the paper, relieved Weasley hadn't said anything yet. They had more important things to worry about than secret love affairs decades ago.