His mother commissioned a muggle car to take him to Kings Cross. Draco had always assumed his mother wouldn't be caught dead in anything muggle, but she was still worried about him apparating, and taking the floo to Hogwarts was still restricted for security reasons. The car was a grim reminder of how scared she was for him.
They arrived at the station early on Draco's insistence. His tremors weren't very noticeable with the potion, but he wanted to avoid prying eyes and he knew his best opportunity at getting a compartment alone was securing one early.
His mother gave him a customary tight hug, which he returned. Something had shifted between them over the last two weeks. Mostly because Draco let her and Bella in on his task and the aftermath of the meeting had brought a certain soberness to them both. Draco's current situation weighed heavily on them, and they had to bear it together. He said his final goodbye and climbed onto the train. It was a strange sensation knowing he was going back to Hogwarts. On one hand, it meant being away from the suffocating manor, but on the other, it meant he was back to his task. He had only months to kill Dumbledore.
He found his compartment towards the prefect carriage, drew the blinds, and locked the door. He was still exhausted from Thursday night, so he collapsed onto the padded seats and let himself drift. He barely noticed when the train began to move.
He was snapped out of his dozing by the jostling of the sliding door. He waited hoping whoever it was would take the locked door as a hint and leave. They didn't.
He heard the click of the lock and jolted upright. He readied his wand, ready to reprimand whoever dared to disturb him, but choked on the words as the door seemingly opened by itself. No one was there. Draco waited a few seconds and the door slid shut.
"I am so happy I found you," Potter said, pulling off his invisibility cloak. Draco gaped at him.
"What do you think you're doing here, Potter?" Draco spat.
Potter seemed surprised by his reaction. "I didn't see you on the platform, and I passed by a Slytherin cabin with Crabbe and Goyle and didn't see you, and I don't know, got nervous that something happened."
"You? Nervous?" Draco scoffed, but he still didn't understand why Potter was looking for him. "Hoping to off me yourself then?"
"No, what are you talking about? I know that Voldemort isn't pleased with your progress right? I was scared he did something."
That made Draco's blood run did Potter know that the Dark Lord would be displeased with him? How much did he know about his task?
"How do you know that?" Draco growled and pulled his wand on Potter.
"Know what?" Potter asked, confused, but backed up a few steps wary of Draco.
"You know about my task?"
"Of course! Why are you so upset?"
He sent a stinging jinx at Potter's right shoulder. "Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, or I'll break it again."
"What the fuck Malfoy?" Potter gasped, rubbing at his shoulder.
"That's just a taste of what will happen if you tell anyone, and this," Draco launched another stinging jinx at his thigh, "is a warning to never talk to me again."
Potter stared in shock. "I don't know what's gotten into you. Just when I think you've stopped being a prick you pull something like this. I won't let you complete your task if that's what you are thinking."
"I'll do what I please," Draco retorted.
"You can try," Potter sneered as he started to pull back on the cloak. Draco shot a final jinx at his back.
Potter had already vanished but Draco still heard a loud, "Fuck you," as the door to his compartment opened and closed again.
Draco sagged onto the bench distressed. He had no idea what Potter knew or what danger it posed. He'd probably have to do something about it sooner rather than later. On top of that, his body was aching again. The adrenaline of facing Potter caused the tremors to increase. He reached for the nerve soother in his pocket, and his hand brushed against the rings.
The urge to put them on was overwhelming. He knew that he wanted to before returning to Hogwarts. Since there wasn't much time left for that, he reached for them instead of the potion. The second the silver ring hit the base of his finger, he found himself almost regretting the decision. His head hurt. It was spinning, trying to reconcile all of his real memories with the fallible reality he'd been living in the last two weeks.
Regulus said anxiously, standing over him, "Draco, what happened? Why are we on the train?"
Draco just groaned. Regulus graciously gave him a few moments to compose himself.
"Why are your hands shaking?" Regulus fretted. Draco looked at them; they were bad. He doubted he could hold a quill right now. Panicked, he ignored Regulus, grabbed the nerve soother, and took a mouthful.
"Tell me that isn't what I think it is."
"Depends on what you think it is," Draco said, resting his head back on the seat. He was starting to feel more like himself, but then it hit him. Potter was here, and Draco hadn't remembered their relationship. He jumped to his feet, determined to do something about it.
"Potter saw me without the ring!"
Regulus looked at him, overwhelmed. "What happened? Why weren't you wearing it sooner?"
"I don't know, I guess I just forgot about it," Draco admitted. Fear filled him as he remembered almost leaving the rings behind, he shivered and continued, "I cursed Potter."
"What?" Regulus was getting more confused by the second.
Draco blurted out, "I didn't remember any of our meetings. I didn't know he knew about Dumbledore! And he came in and started asking if I was okay and I just panicked. I had no idea why he would know anything or why he would care." Draco started for the compartment door.
"What are you doing?" Regulus asked, exasperated. "You need to calm down."
"Don't tell me to calm down! I cursed him!"
"You probably did what was reasonable considering the information you knew."
"That doesn't excuse it."
Knowing he wasn't going to win the argument, Regulus changed the topic. "Sit down. Tell me what happened after you took off the rings. You know you shouldn't do anything rash until your memories have settled."
"Fine," Draco reluctantly agreed and sat, "It was mostly like the summer. Bella trained me. My mother watched my every move. They cornered me and forced me to tell them about the cabinet. They are trying to help me know," Draco said with a grimace.
Regulus's face matched his own. "I guess that was probably unavoidable. Maybe we can get Burke to keep the progress secret." Draco nodded. Regulus was a fast planner.
"Everything was fine until the meeting." Draco swallowed; he really didn't want to talk about it.
"And what happened at the meeting?"
"Mostly people just gave reports on stuff I didn't really understand. The Dark Lord thinks he's close to overthrowing the ministry." Regulus nodded his understanding and waited for Draco to continue.
"I was the last one he addressed. He wanted to know about how my task had been coming along." Draco could feel the fear coursing through him again, the sheer panic he felt when he heardCruciocome out of the Dark Lord's mouth.
"How bad did he take it?" Regulus prompted. Draco still felt a little dazed.
"I was an example to the rest. Hecrucio'dme. I think I passed out."
Regulus looked a little shocked. "How long? Are you okay?"
"I don't know and Snape said I would be. He got me back to the manor and gave me some potions that seemed to help. A nerve soother and something to repair the damage."
"Thank the stars, Snape was there," Regulus said with a relieved sigh.
"I thought you didn't trust him."
"I don't but he's a bloody good potions master. If I'm right, I'm pretty sure he invented the second potion you mentioned. It was quite popular back in the day. By the sound of it, it might have kept you from having permanent damage."
"That's yet to be seen," Draco said, holding up his hand. The potion made the shaking lessen, but it was still there.
"Give it a few days," Regulus said confidently. Draco found himself wishing he had a ring like Regulus's so he could have avoided the pain in the first place.
"I almost forgot about the rings," Draco confessed.
"What do you mean?"
"I almost left them at the manor. It was at the last second this morning that I remembered them and even then I didn't think it was that important to wear them. After all, I went over a week without them."
Regulus paled. "That's why I am first seeing you on the train?"
Draco nodded. "I can't take it off again. I don't want to lose you."Or Potter.
"We'll figure something better out." Regulus seemed genuinely concerned about that revelation.
"What am I going to tell Potter?" Draco asked worriedly. Potter probably hated him right now.
"That you are sorry," Regulus said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Draco frowned at the idea. "He was pretty pissed."
"Probably," Regulus agreed, "but it's still Potter. You've done worse."
Draco groaned and sat back further, suddenly anxious about talking to Potter again. He had no idea how to explain his actions. Perhaps it could wait until he'd cooled off. Decided, Draco laid back on the seat spending the remainder of the ride answering Regulus's questions and enjoying his company for the first time in weeks.
The first day back at class was exhausting. His body still ached and he was paranoid that someone would see his hands shake. His housemates gave him strange looks, probably because he had avoided them on the train. He kept watching Potter, in hopes that there was some indication that he wasn't too upset at Draco, but Potter seemed determined to ignore him.
He retreated to the Room of Requirement each night, hoping that success with the cabinet would make him feel better. It didn't.
On Wednesday, he ran out of the nerve soother and promptly panicked. He practically ran to Snape's office after class, knowing he couldn't attend his next class without it. The tremors would be too obvious.
"Draco," Snape greeted, a little startled. This was the first time he'd willingly talked to Snape since the start of the year.
"I need more nerve soother." He passed over the empty bottle.
Snape inspected it. "This was supposed to last you the week."
"Well it didn't," Draco bristled.
"How much have you been taking?"
"I don't know, I've just been taking a dose as soon as I notice my hands start to twitch."
Snape nodded and went to his stores. He returned with an identical bottle.
"Thank you," Draco said, reaching for it, but Snape pulled back.
"Let me see your hands."
Grudgingly, Draco set his hand in front of him. Snape grabbed them, gently pressing on different spots. Certain points caused spasms and he wondered how Snape had known where to press and if it meant anything.
"They are getting better, but I'll admit not as fast as I'd hoped." He finally let his hands go and passed the potion to Draco. "Keep taking it as needed, it's not addictive, but it shouldn't be taken long-term if you can avoid it."
Draco nodded and immediately took a dose. Snape watched intently.
"What are you planning?" Draco tensed at the change of topic.
"It doesn't matter."
"It does. Tell me something, so I can tell the Dark Lord."
Draco considered. He really didn't want a repeat of the meeting last week.
"Go on, tell him something. He might kill you next time," Regulus advised bluntly.
"I have a way to get things in and out of Hogwarts," Draco admitted warily.
"And I assume you mean something a little more lucrative than the post?" Draco nodded. "And what are you planning on getting into the castle?"
"Bella," Draco said simply. Snape frowned.
"You want to bring Death Eaters into the castle?"
"I want to bring someone that will help me kill Dumbledore."
"When?"
"I can't yet. The method doesn't work."
"And when will it work?"
"I'm not sure," Draco admitted, teeth clenched. He didn't know how long he could keep answering these questions.
"Very well. Let that be your focus. I'll keep the staff off you. Any detentions will be assigned to me, understand?" Apparently, Snape had learned his lesson about prying.
"Yes, professor."
"Get some rest. You'll experience less tremors the more you get."
Draco tried to, but his new uptick in nightmares kept proper sleep at bay.
Saturday morning Draco had his first apparition lesson. Regulus had warned him against it since it would aggravate any lasting effects of the Cruciatus curse. At Draco's questioning look, he clarified.
"The Cruciatus curse overstimulates your nerves. If you are under it long enough, like you were, it starts to cause damage. Apparition compresses and expands the body to transport, so if your nerves are stretched too much they could rip."
Draco paled. The knowledge that his nerves could be shredded was not a pleasant one. In the end, Draco didn't have to worry much about it since no one was able to successfully apparate. At one point he thought he might've felt something, but pulled back, terrified of repeating the feeling of the curse.
Afterward, he made his way up to the Room of Requirement. He wasn't sure if Potter would heed his warning to stay away or keep up with their weekly appointment. Considering how he'd been ignoring Draco the last few days it was likely that it would be the former.
Potter was late, but he did come. He walked in tense, wand clenched in his hand. Draco stood there, trying to not look threatening.
"Nothing to say Malfoy? Are you waiting to curse me again?"
"Only if you are being an idiot," Draco shot back before realising that probably wasn't the best way to diffuse the situation.
"What was that on the train?"
"I wasn't wearing my ring." Regulus gaped beside him, not expecting Draco to be so honest.
"What ring?"
"This one," he stepped forward pointing to the silver one. "If you ever see me without this ring, don't trust a word out of my mouth."
"Why? It's just a ring."
"It's notjust a ring," Draco ground out. "Trust me. I'm not the same person without this ring on."
"And what about the other one?"
"Doesn't matter," Draco dismissed. Regulus nodded his agreement at Draco's refusal.
"Why can't you just be honest with me?"
"I am. Not a single living person knows about these rings. I am trusting you with this one, let that be enough for now."
Potter looked wary, but considering he didn't press further, seemed okay with that for now.
"I'm sorry I cursed you," Draco said, trying to sound genuine.
"Just don't do it again."
"I won't."At least while wearing the ring,he thought. "Unless you deserve it," he tried to tease, hoping to lighten the mood.
Potter didn't smile but lowered his wand. "What happened? Why weren't you sitting with your housemates?"
"I don't think they like me very much."
Potter frowned. "You didn't want to sit with them because of that?"
"It wasn't a pleasant holiday alright? I needed some space and I don't want to talk about it."
Potter's frown deepened. "Did you at least get my gift? You didn't give any response so I wasn't sure."
"You sent me that book?" It seemed painfully obvious now.
"I figured I shouldn't sign it. Hermoine recommended it."
"You told her?!" Draco exclaimed.
"Obviously not. I'd be dead if I had. She doesn't even know it was for you. I just told her I was looking for a book on charms and when this one had a section on transportation it reminded me of the cabinet."
"But I didn't get you anything," Draco said.
"I didn't expect you to," Potter replied simply, but Draco frowned. Potter didn't expect much from him.
After another moment Potter asked, "Do you want to talk about Lupin?"
"Not particularly." The whole conversation had served no purpose.
Potter hummed. "I spent some time asking him about the Dark Mark."
"Why?" Draco stared at Potter. "You didn't think that made it obvious that I am already a Death Eater?"
"No, I think Lupin just assumed it was because I was curious about it. I didn't realise how dangerous it really was," Potter admitted.
"Of course it is," Draco scoffed.
"I know that now." Potter rolled his eyes, and continued, "He gave me some ideas though. I think I could convince the snake not to hurt you. I am pretty sure that's what's controlling the pain and what would kill you if you tried to leave. I doubt I am skilled enough to remove the mark altogether, but the snake I can handle."
Leave it to Potter to hear something is impossible and still want to try it. Draco wasn't sure if he wanted to slap him or hug him for it.
He settled for giving Potter some hope, "When it burned, I think it hurt less than before."
"Really?" Potter asked excitedly, and then his face fell as he remembered what the mark burning meant.
"So it was a really bad holiday then?"
"Not my best."
"Mine wasn't either. Scrimgeour tried to talk to me. Wanted me to be the ministry's poster boy," Potter said with a scowl.
Draco's scowl matched it. He figured the ministry must be scrambling then. Between that and the meeting the Dark Lord called, things were looking poor for wizarding England in the next few months.
"Want to find something to smash into pieces? I think I saw some china somewhere that's asking to beBombarda'd."
"That sounds lovely," Potter said, and for the first time since they started talking his smile lit up the room.
"Then let's keep our minds off the shitty holiday," Draco said and he led Potter to where he knew some breakable objects were.
It was comforting to be himself again with Potter and forget about the last two weeks. They cursed some china, and then some glass figurines that were even more satisfying to break. It became a game of how far back they could stand and still hit the objects. Potter was infuriatingly good at it.
It naturally evolved back into their exploration of the room when Potter stumbled on a new chest. He was digging through it when he threw something at Draco.
"Hey, tell me if something is weird with this galleon?"
Draco tried to catch the coin, but as his hand tried to grip it, his fingers spasmed and he dropped it. Potter looked at him surprised. He knew as a seeker Draco should've caught that with ease. Draco quickly went to pick it up with his other hand. It was thankfully less affected.
Potter scrutinised him and Draco knew he needed to make an excuse and take another dose of the nerve soother. Before he could say anything Potter jumped in.
"What's wrong with your hand?"
"Nothing."
"Haven't you learned that lying won't get you anywhere with me? I'll keep pushing," Potter said firmly.
Draco's face twisted, but he conceded. He held out his hand for Potter to see. The tremor was painfully evident.
"Like I said. It wasn't my best holiday," Draco said, feeling self-conscious about how long Potter was staring at his hand.
"Cruciatus curse?" Potter guessed.
"Just for a bit." Potter winced.
"You know he did it to me. Fourth year." Draco hadn't known, but given the frequency the Dark Lord used the curse it wasn't surprising. "Thatwas only for a bit and I never reacted like that."
"Then it's good you didn't see me right after," Draco said, wanking his hand away.
"You're okay now?"
"I will be," Draco said, avoiding Potter's concerned gaze.
"I'm glad. I don't want all this time together to go to waste."
"You don't enjoy my company, Potter?"
"Eh, I only enjoy your ability to spot magical objects. Tell me about that Galleon."
Draco didn't know anything had gone wrong until Sunday evening. He'd gone about his normal day with Regulus, prepping for classes that week. It was chance that he overheard some Gryffindors talking in the corridor outside the library.
"They say he might need to go to St Mungo's."
"Have they found who did it?"
"I heard it was Slughorn, but everyone assumes it was an accident and he mixed up his potions."
Draco's stomach twisted. He had a horrible feeling. When he hadn't heard the news of Dumbledore's death while at the manor, he assumed that Dumbledore had just been able to spot the poison as he had with all of the previous attempts. He hadn't given much thought to what would happen if Slughorn never gifted it in the first place.
"Oi you! What are you talking about?" He approached the students, sounding intimidating.
They looked rightfully terrified, but the first girl piped up, "Slughorn poisoned Ron."
Draco's heart sank. Potter wasn't going to be happy about that.
"With what?" he demanded. He had to know if it was the mead.
"Don't know. It was an accident apparently," the girl said quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"It's all anyone is talking about! Colin overheard Harry talking about it. He was there when it happened." That was even worse.
"Is Potter hurt?"
"I don't think so, he was the one that gave Ron the antidote." It just kept getting worse. He needed space before he started to overreact.
"Keep moving before I start handing out detentions!" Draco yelled, and they scurried off.
Regulus walked up beside him. "You think it was the mead don't you?"
"What else could it be?" Draco shot back under his breath. He had poisoned someone. Potter by some miracle had avoided it but had to watch his best friend on death's door. How he was even able to stop the poison was beyond Draco. He would've needed to do something in a matter of seconds.
He desperately needed to avoid the other students. There was no way his name wouldn't be thrown around as a suspect. He only hoped Potter hadn't pieced it together, but given his track record, he probably had. He practically ran up to the astronomy tower in an attempt to be alone.
After a few minutes of watching the night sky, he asked Regulus quietly, "Am I a shit person?"
"No." He was surprised by how quickly Regulus said it.
"I'll just take any opportunity to muck something up. I've almost killed another student."
"Did you steal Potter's cloak?"
"What?" Draco asked confused. He had no idea what Regulus was talking about.
"Earlier, at the train platform, you could have stolen his invisibility cloak. That's all I was thinking the whole time. He was holding it out for you to take and you could have literally disappeared with it and never gone to that meeting with Lupin. We both knew that meeting was pointless and I know you know it's a valuable cloak."
"I didn't even think of that," Draco confessed, wondering if he should have.
"Exactly. You take opportunities as you need them. Not just any." That didn't seem like that big of a difference to Draco. He had still messed up.
"Would you have taken the cloak then?"
Regulus's face hinted at a smile. "Probably. I think it's the same cloak James had and I did take it from him the first time he showed it to me."
Draco smiled. "You did?"
"He was testing me. Seeing if I was serious about our friendship, but it was all a setup. He had put some spell on it that made it return to him after an hour. We were both pissed about it, and it took weeks to get him to understand I wasn't doing it to hurt him. It's just how I think."
"For what it's worth I don't think you're a shit person either," Draco said.
Regulus looked at him sadly and said, "Thanks." Draco didn't think either of them believed they weren't terrible people.
He could've killed Potter. The thought made him nauseous. He didn't know what he would've done if that had happened. He closed his eyes, thinking it ironic that he was nervous about how Potter would react to his stinging jinxes. Potter would never forgive him for almost killing his best friend.