Winter's Refuge
Chapter Twenty
Visit Six
Jed "Kid" Curry
It's been a busy two weeks since Dr. Lewis upset our lives. He took away our feelin' of safety and now it's replaced by wariness. Chrissy stays near me, or she follows Juan and helps out with the horses, especially hers. She enjoys groomin' them…and readin' to them. I need to watch her carefully when I'm practicin' my shootin'. She used to go to the house when I'd go to practice after closin' the smithy each day. But now she follows me. She's not careful where she wanders and one day, I saw her movin' behind my target bottles just as I drew and aimed. I couldn't stop firin' but I spun to my left so my bullet hit a tree and not her. Scared me…bad. I realize if she never tells me about her and Heyes, I don't care. I love her.
I'm leavin' to go see Heyes tomorrow mornin'. Whenever I repeat to Chrissy I'm leavin' and I'll be back the next day, she looks away. Stops respondin' but I know she's still listenin'. The first time I told her she said, "Come." I told her no. I'm not goin' to bring her to that place that sucks the life out of people. I studied her face to see if I saw love for Heyes but there was only veiled fear. I reminded her Juan and Luke would be here with her. She understood enough that she did not sleep on the floor of my room last night. She slept in the chair in Luke's room.
LOM
Feeling a little uneasy leaving Porterville in the hands of Deputy Harker and his nephew Eric while I visit Heyes, but I think Kid needs my support, even if he's quiet about asking. He was carrying the weight of weary resignation when I'd left him a month ago and so much has happened since then. My train was late and I found him nervously pacing the platform. He'd already rented two horses and we said little more than hellos until we were on our way to the prison.
"Kid, we still had plenty of time. We're going to get there early, even with my train running late."
"We can't be late. You hear anything on how Heyes has been doin'?"
"Nothing at all."
"That a good thing or a bad thing? You didn't know he was in trouble last time."
"I don't know. Hopefully, he's been good."
We rode in silence until the Wyoming Territorial Prison came into view. It does have a forbidding silhouette and I saw Kid shudder, then hide it by sitting straighter.
"Feels like it's tryin' to reach out and grab me," he mumbled.
"Remember, they won't take off the shackles for today's visit." I needed to remember that. It was a shock to see Heyes in the shackles that seemed to weigh him down. In prison, the Kid had conquered the shackles and they didn't seem to even restrain him.
"Yeah, I remember. Is this a full-length visit or short?"
"Didn't say anything about that. I'm assuming full length."
"Think that bruise on his jaw has healed?"
"Well, it has been a month."
"Yeah, but I hit him real hard."
And then we were there. I noticed that the Kid always hesitates before making that first step through the door. But for Heyes, he masters his fear each time and walks through with his confidence, and his head held high.
Two guards were waiting for us. They walked one in front of us, one behind to Dr. Arden's office. He opened the door himself. I could see Kid look around, but Heyes wasn't there yet.
"Don't worry, Mr. Curry. He'll be here soon."
Both the Kid and I relaxed a little at those words. I sat down and the Kid went and looked out the only window.
"How have you gentlemen been?" asked the doctor.
"How's Heyes been?"
I looked hard at the Kid. His voice had been close to a throaty growl.
Dr. Arden must have heard it too because he studied the Kid before answering. He was always anxious to know what made Jed Curry tick, but the Kid wasn't letting him in, not at all.
"You answer my question and I'll answer yours," the doctor answered flatly. I heard a calm voice but a challenge.
"We've been fine," I answered for both of us, which was not what the doctor wanted. "Always worried about Heyes."
The Kid turned back to look out the window and the doctor turned his attention to me. "I have Mr. Curry's prison record. It is extraordinary and unusual. I would like to discuss it with him."
I saw the Kid's shoulders tense, but he kept looking out the window.
"I know Mr. Curry and Heyes were close. It might aid me in helping Heyes if I understand why they made different choices in prison. Mr. Curry was obviously successful in rehabilitating himself."
No response from the Kid.
"I believe they are related?" the doctor probed.
"First cousins." I again answered knowing that the Kid would not.
Dr. Arden gave me a frustrated look, but I knew he wasn't going to get the Kid to respond.
"Who is older?"
Before I could answer, Kid whipped around and walked to the doctor's desk. Dr. Arden leaned as far back in his chair as he could. We were both thinking about the bruise on Heyes' jaw.
"Dr. Arden," the Kid's voice was calm, controlled but there was a subtle threat in his words. "If you do, indeed, have my prison record, and we know you have my cousin's, then you just need to look at them to see who's older. You do have my record as you said, don't you?"
He had caught the doctor in another lie but stopped short of accusing him of lying. He knew that Heyes' success could lay in this man's hands. He retreated to look out the window. "How's Heyes?" Kid asked again.
Heyes
I've been good for the past four weeks. Lom and the Kid are coming today. It took extra concentration to focus on making the best brooms ever, but I managed it. It was even harder today. They were waiting in Dr. Arden's office when I was escorted there. I'm embarrassed about still being in shackles, but I won't fight it. It's my ego that I need to conquer. I needed it when Kid and I were young and on our own. It gave me confidence and helped me talk our way into and out of things many times. It saved our lives many times. And when we were trying for amnesty, we needed the silver tongue to stay free men.
But now my ego is too large for freedom. And I am beginning to understand that. I must learn humility. I must learn to fit legally into society. Kid made me see that in our last visit. .
So, I am entering Dr. Arden's office in shackles, and I know it is entirely my fault. The guards close the door in back of me but at first, I only see Lom.
"Hi, Heyes!" His warm voice is welcome.
I walk slowly to him and hold up my shackled hands to indicate I can't shake hands with him.
"HEYES!" Kid turns from the window and picks me up, heavy shackles and all as if I were a child. It was worth making boring brooms for a month to sit here between Lom and the Kid. Dr. Arden watches us closely. I was hoping to talk to them in private. I am scared to ask him to leave. I need these visits to remind me to be humble until it becomes part of me.
"You made it the four weeks!" Kid was happy, almost giddy. I had written to him saying I would see him in a month. He should know to have faith in my words.
"Yes…made brooms…and ate. Deal? You…sleep?" I wanted to have a long conversation with him like we used to have sitting in rocking chairs on hotel porches. But it must wait
Standing up, Dr. Arden said, "I'll leave the three of you alone to visit," and left.
I watched until the door closed and turned to the Kid. "You…okay? Serious…face." I knew something was wrong with him. I hoped it was just worry for me. There I am making me the center of everyone's universe. "Deal…Kid sleep…me eat…I eat…Kid no sleep?"
"Lot goin' on at home, Heyes. Tell you about it when you get out. By the way, got your books last time. The guard caught up with us as we were leavin'." I knew he had finally found my notes. But I don't think he told Lom about them.
I'm so frustrated my words won't come out. Except for Dr. Arden, I hadn't spoken to anyone except for saying 'yes sir' to the guards in two years. Now I have two people I care about to talk to, and the words are stuck. Dr. Arden says it was because of the Dark Cell. I spent a lot of time in there. Can't tell time there. Can't tell night from day in there. The nightmares are real in there and they don't end even if you scream. If I think about it now, my mind gets stuck in a dark nightmare and it's hard to have any hope.
"Heyes!" Lom must have called me before and I didn't hear.
"Sorry, Lom…what?"
"Kid said you opened the lock with two keys and a lockpick. Do you want the third key?"
Kid was holding the key out to me. I grabbed it. "Different…draw?"
"Yeah, they always look a little different because they're thicker."
"Make… an…other?" I asked but saw sadness that he quickly hid. But I've known him all his life. He can't hide that from me. I felt stupid that I can't talk in sentences, but I motioned them to turn around. They remained seated but each turned away from me.
"Why are you sad...about making…another lock, Kid? Don't argue…saw it."
Kid sighed. "I'd like to make another one for you to puzzle out but there's no time, Heyes. No time at all. The blacksmith shop is real busy and then there's the horses."
"I understand. I have…empty time here. You have a life out there." I tried to keep the desperation to be free out of my voice.
"Heyes, I need you to get out of here. I need your help to make a go of the ranch." I heard it in his voice, he was pleading. He really needed me on the outside.
"I'm going to…to make it, Kid." He turned around and looked at me. "You…got…my word." I caught his eyes. I tried to get him to understand that I was trying hard with a look. That I would get out of here. We used to be good at silent communication. Now I don't know if he understood.
"Good. I am waitin' for the day we walk out of here together. Just one hundred and twelve days."
"Track?"
"Yeah, when I'm supposed to be writin' all those little numbers in those little rows, I start figurin' when you can do it for me."
"Account...ing?" I had told him what to do for now to keep his records straight.
"A mess, Heyes. A mess."
I know he heard my sigh.
"Heyes, anything you need?" Lom asked me.
"To...leave here."
Kid leaned in close and touched my jaw. I knew the bruise was still visible if you looked closely. Dr. Arden had commented on it yesterday. "Fell real…hard."
Lom and the Kid laughed. I picked up Kid's hand. It had become strong, very strong. "Knuckles?
"They're feelin' better. Didn't know how hard I could hit."
We heard movement from the hall. I had to ask the Kid again. Make sure he hadn't changed his mind. "Partners."
He smiled. "Always, Heyes. I got your back. But I can't in here. You gonna make the six months?"
"Working on it." I stood up when the guards entered the room.
Kid gave me a bear hug, shackles and all. "Countin' on ya," he whispered in my ear.
The guards didn't take me back to the broom factory. They took me to the hot kitchen.
"You've been assigned kitchen duty for the rest of the day, Heyes. Filling in for a convict that got sick."
I wanted to say no. I wanted to run. I want to strike out at them against the heat in the kitchen. I wanted to sigh, but I controlled myself and just said, "Yes, sir."
They took the restraints off my hands and the trustee in charge of the kitchen pointed at the huge stack of dirty lunch dishes. My feet are still shackled but I try to stand tall at the sink.
"Wash those dishes and get them clean!"
Another prisoner filled the sink with boiling water. It was so hot in the kitchen I could barely breathe. I was about to object. Tell them I wouldn't do dishes. This made making brooms look good. Then I remembered Kid's words last time and thought: If they want me to wash dishes, I'll wash dishes and I'll get them the cleanest they've ever been as quickly as they had ever been washed. I was determined to get out of here. I'd given Kid my word.
Jed "Kid" Curry
I hated seein' Heyes in shackles. I'd lived and worked in shackles for over two years at the railroad camps. The blisters and cut ankles attracted little black flyin' bugs that bit and made everything worse. The heat of the forge added to the hot Arizona temperature and often made the shackles burnin' hot. I learned to stand unmovin' at my anvil so that the shackles didn't touch my ankles. I still have burn marks. Guess I always will. When I first got a new pair of boots, they hurt my ankles, but I wore them anyway as a symbol of my amnesty. Free man boots I called them instead of prison shoes. Heyes shouldn't have the burnin' problem with his shackles, but they pull him down, his body and his spirit. I can see it even if others can't. But at least he only wears them when bein' moved from place to place, not when he's workin'.
On the train back to Bridgeport I couldn't sleep. Can't remember the time when I used to sleep anywhere. Prison robbed me of that. Heyes always had trouble sleepin' since Valparaiso. His nightmares started there. I wonder if he sleeps now. Do the lights outside his cell help? The train gives me time to think about things. Today I'm thinkin' that Chrissy needs to get out of the house more, go into Three Birds. I stopped in Cheyenne and bought her three dresses, nothing fancy. They only had three colors, so I got her one of each. The lady asked if I wanted shoes to match. I realized she's still wearin' the shoes from prison. I guessed her size and bought her a pair of low boots like I'd seen her wear at Winter's Refuge. Maybe we can burn those prison shoes together.
As I passed my blacksmith shop, I could just make out Chrissy and Luke sittin' in the rockin' chairs on the porch. Maybe Juan does not need to store them in the barn just yet. Chrissy's eyes follow me the entire way. I smiled as I got closer. I can tell she's really seein' me. Luke struggles to stand up. I told him where I was goin' and why. He told me he'd pray for Heyes and his success. Luke rides into Three Birds a few times every week and visits with the priest. His faith has helped him turn his life around. When I saw him, I remember I was plannin' on seein' if Chrissy wanted to go to church.
ASJ*****ASJ
Chrissy follows me into the house, I dropped the three books from Heyes on the pile, She stops outside my bedroom door. She entered freely when she was puttin' the salve on my back. She slips in at night to sleep on the cot. Still, durin' the day she is respectful of my space.
I've only gone in her room once and that was to help her. It is her space. I'll make sure no one will ever invade her space uninvited again. Even me.
"Hi Chrissy, brought somethin' back for you." The dresses were wrapped in brown paper, and I set the package on the bed. She stared at it but didn't come in. I found the low boots in my bag and held them out to her. "Hope they fit. I guessed at the size."
She looked at me. Then at the boots. "Mine?"
"Yours. Let me know if they fit."
She came in and took them gingerly. Lookin' them over carefully, she turned them over then felt the leather. Then, like a little kid at Christmas, she sat on the floor right where she was and pulled off her shoes. I saw how thin her socks had worn. I'll have Juan buy her new socks in Three Birds when he goes for supplies. She pulled the boots on with as much joy as I'd seen her show. They fit. She put her legs out in front of her and admired them.
I picked up her old shoes. "Guess we can burn these."
"NO!"
Surprised, I waited to see if she was goin' to say more. She stood up and grabbed the prison shoes away from me. "Save for now."
"Okay, darlin'." I reached for the package on the bed. "These are for you, too." She was used to me calling her darlin' now and didn't draw away.
She didn't take the package right away. I could tell she was strugglin' with something.
"Thank you, sir," she finally said. She left the package on the bed as she unwrapped it. Liftin' the top one, she looked at me and I could see she was strugglin' for words. "Mine?" She carefully folded it on the bed and fingered the other two. There was a long pink ribbon in the package, too. She took it and rubbed it on her cheek.
She started to lift her dress and I realized she was goin' to change right here. "Chrissy, you can change in your own room."
Standin' still, she didn't move for a moment. She focused on the ribbon and she smiled, a real warm smile…for me. "Thank you. Pretty."
I returned her smile cautiously. I felt like sweepin' her up in my arms and twirlin' her around the room. I guess something in my face scared her because she grabbed her stuff and ran to her room. She had dropped the ribbon. I picked it up and rubbed it between my fingers. It was smooth and soft.
Her door was open, but I stayed in the hall. "Chrissy? You dropped your ribbon." She had put one of the new dresses on and was spinnin' the skirt out wide.
She stopped when I spoke but came toward me instead of retreatin'. "Pretty?" she asked, grabbin' the ribbon.
"Very pretty," I told her, not sure if she meant the ribbon or her in the dress. Both were beautiful to me.
"Chrissy, what if me, you, and Luke go ridin' after lunch tomorrow? Summer's Gold could use a workout."
She froze but I know now she was processin' this new information, something outside her safe routine. She pointed at me. "Winter's Glory?"
"Yes, I'll ride Winter's Glory. Luke's been ridin' Fall's Bell. I'll have Juan have all three saddled for us. Would you like that?"
Abruptly, she turned and stared out the window. I started to think that it was takin' her a long time to answer this time, even for her, when she turned back. "Picnic?"
My heart jumped. An independent idea! She was improvin'.
"If you want, darlin', we can bring some sandwiches and lemonade."
"Yes."
ASJ*****ASJ
After an early dinner, Chrissy followed Juan to the stable, Black Beauty in hand. I knew she would help give them oats and brush them before readin' to them. Summer's Solstice and Autumn's Sweetheart were both pregnant by Fall's Legend. Juan and I had discussed the magnificent foals we'd have. Ideally, we'd have one colt and one little lady, the firstborn on our ranch.
Luke walked down to the blacksmith shop with me. After the rough greetin' I had given him, we'd become easy friends. With two days away, I was goin' to get everything prepared for a longer line in the mornin'.
"What made you take the contract to be a blacksmith?" he asked. "Not many people's idea of an ideal profession."
"It's an honest profession. The railroad was willin' to take on Kid Curry as an apprentice and all the things that come with that. Wanted a legal way to take care of my family. Only two contracts were available for an apprentice blacksmith for the railroad and a farmhand. Already know farmin'. Me and Heyes grew up on back-to-back farms in Kansas. Didn't much like it when I was helpin' my pa. Wasn't gonna sign on to do it for some rich gentleman farmer with a whip."
I fired up the forge, intendin' to make a stack of horseshoes. If I didn't have them already made, I'd be here all day tomorrow just shoein' horses.
Luke watched me set up. He had something on his mind, but I didn't know what. "Don't know how I'd do in prison. Matt went and he came right back out and found the gang."
"Heard Mark betrayed him. Surprised he joined up again."
"Matt may be the oldest, but he's a follower. Mark's only a year younger but has always been the boss of him. If Mark hadn't told him no, Matt might have come with me and tried for amnesty or Mark might have killed him."
I adjusted the heavy anvil on its stand, thinkin' how Mark had killed Wheat. I needed to change the subject. "Chrissy wants to go on a ride and a picnic after lunch tomorrow."
"Your idea or hers?"
"The ride was mine, the picnic hers."
He smiled. "Love to go and spend time with her…and you."
"Luke, can I ask you a favor? Well, a favor for Chrissy. Do you think she might like to go to church?"
I think my question caught him off guard. He crossed himself before answerin'. "I've been prayin' on that. She did when we was little. She and Ma would have matchin' Sunday best dresses and wear them to Mass at nine every Sunday. I thought my ma was the prettiest lady I ever saw. Chrissy's got her eyes."
I brought a straight backed chair from the backroom and put it beyond the wall support. It was too hot inside for him.
"Those mountain green eyes. First thing that I fell in love with about your sister."
"You still love her?"
"Yes."
"You the one left her pregnant?" His question didn't seem to be a threat, but I looked up from my work to answer him.
The new me owns up to my past and takes responsibility. "Yes. Didn't know she was though." I didn't know if the baby was mine or Heyes but that was my ring Chrissy was still wearin'.
Lookin' uneasy, Luke stood and poked around at things in the shop. For a long time, he looked at the ranch house with the sun settin' in back of it. He studied the old prices board that had been there when I opened.
"You can charge a lot more than this," he told me.
"Ain't got time to figure that out…or burn a new sign like that."
Runnin' his fingers over the board, he said, "I used to be pretty fair at wood burning. Where's the nearest blacksmith? I'll check prices."
"Bridgeport's got a small one. Only shoes horses, though, nothing else. Otherwise, I'm the only one around. He charges a dollar more per shoe than I do. Don't think he wants the work. He owns the livery."
Luke nodded. "Well, I think we can safely raise all of these prices ten percent and you'd still be the cheapest in a hundred miles. Just need two sharp tipped pieces of metal, one thin and one wider."
I didn't look away from the horseshoe I was makin'. The extra money would be welcome, but I wanted to keep my customers.
Luke took the old sign down, measured it, then returned it to the back wall. "We'll warn everyone a couple of days in advance that prices are going up. Don't think anyone should object." He stared into the forge fire. Most people ran from the heat, but he stood there quietly watchin' the flames dance. He spoke without turnin' to look at me. "She loves you, too," he said quietly.
I stopped and looked at him. "How'd you know?"
"You was all she talked about when we came back from Devil's Hole. Then later the gang stopped by Winter's Refuge soon after you and Mr. Heyes left. We almost ran into that posse looking for you. She told me then she loved you and could never love another."
I was thinkin'. If she told him then that was after she had been with Heyes. After she had thought I was dyin'. After she thought she had said goodbye to me on my deathbed. After I had recovered, and we had been together. I fully understood what Heyes meant when he said for comfort not passion. "Thank you for tellin' me this Luke. It means everything to me."
He picked a horseshoe up off the pile and played with it nervously. "I wanted you to know so you don't give up on her."
"Give up on her? Never. She's my family."
"It makes my religious journey more peaceful, knowing she's taken care of."
"I will always take good care of her. No one's ever gonna hurt my family." I realized I said that forcefully. My thoughts about this were always determined.
"And the child?"
"It's hidden away with a friend of ours' sister. Away from reporters and danger."
Luke threw the horseshoe back on the pile with a clang. "Boy or girl?"
"I don't know. Chrissy left instructions that only she would tell me when the time was right. And it will come to live with us."
"Then you are the answer to my prayers for Chrissy. A patient man who will love her and take care of her and their child is the blessing you bring to her."
ASJ*****ASJ
Juan had our horses ready when I returned home near noon. I had cleaned up as best I could in the back room of the shop. Juan handed me the reins for Winter's Glory. I was comin' to think of him as mine and I think the horse felt the same way.
After lookin' around, Juan slipped me a package in brown paper. "Miss Chrissy's been in the kitchen all morning but I ain't sure what she's been doing. I made a few sandwiches and some hard-boiled eggs, in case what she made ain't edible."
I winked and whispered my thanks just as Chrissy came out and handed Luke and I canteens. "Lemonade," she said as she fastened her canteen to Summer's Gold.
I felt Juan fasten a second canteen to the other side of my horse. Chrissy took the reins of Summer's Gold and again mounted from the porch steps before takin' off at a fast trot. Me and Luke rode after her, laughin'.
This time Chrissy didn't ask to go back. We rode until she saw a spot under a big tree that graced the ground with an abundance of shade. "Eat there," she said pointin'.
Luke helped her dismount, and she took a package that was wrapped in the paper that her dresses had come in from her horse. She spread out a quilt from her bed for a tablecloth and started settin' out the food she had brought. We took our canteens and went to help her.
"Sit." She pointed at Luke and pointed at a spot on the quilt. He sat right where she wanted. Then she pointed to me. "Sit there."
Luke gave me a quick grin and did as he was told. Chrissy had always been a bit bossy with her brothers. I slipped the package Juan had given me out of my saddlebags. Luke picked up the hard-cooked egg laid out for him…but it wasn't. It wasn't even really soft boiled; the white and yellow insides ran over his hand when he went to peel it.
"Chrissy, look at the eagle." I pointed to the bird to divert her from Luke's hand. While he picked up the other two uncooked eggs, I replaced them with the hard cooked eggs Juan had packed. Chrissy didn't seem to notice. "Be right back." Luke stood up and walked in back of a near tree. When he returned, his hands were empty and only a hint of yellow yolk remained on his thumb.
Chrissy happily picked up her egg, tapped it and peeled it. She kept lookin' up at the sky watchin' the magnificent bird soar and glide high above us.
The sandwiches were interestin'. We buy a loaf of bread from the mercantile whenever we are in town. The widow Kirk bakes them, and she is an excellent cook. Today's bread was a nutty wheat bread. Chrissy had tried to slice it, but some slices were an inch thick and some less than a quarter of that. There was a single piece of roast beef on each, no butter, nothing else. Luke had the one with the thick bread. It looked very dry to me. He grinned at me shakin' his head no when I nodded to the food Juan had packed. When he took a big bite, I could tell it was dry. He grabbed his canteen of Chrissy's lemonade, and his eyes grew large as he took a big drink. He turned away as I waved a hopeful fly away from the small bit of cheese Chrissy had set out for us.
My sandwich had bread so thin that you could almost see through it. I took a bite. I had eaten far worse in prison. It was dry, though, and like Luke I reached for my canteen. Forewarned, I took a small sip. Lemonade, yes, sugar, no. Chrissy watched me closely, so I pretended to take a deep drink. That made her smile.
Then I looked closer. Where the cheese had been was a potato, just a potato. As I picked it up, Chrissy proudly said, "Potato."
"Yes, darling, a potato." It must have been sittin' in the kitchen awhile because eyes were growin' from it. Don't know what Chrissy had intended but it gave me an idea. "Just gonna put this in my saddlebag."
I put the potato and the sandwiches Juan had made in my saddle bag and switched the canteen for the one with water Juan had provided. Luke was roundin' up the horses who had enjoyed their time and the fresh grass. I was nervous about how Chrissy was goin' to remount. There were no rocks or fallen logs nearby to use.
Luke must have seen it too. "Chrissy, can I help you onto Summer's Gold?"
We were both used to Chrissy's unmovin' stance and starin' eyes as she processed something new, so we waited. Then, she gathered her horse's reins and headed toward me. "No, sir help me."
I tried to keep my smile small and was so happy I didn't try to get her to say Jed. "Sure, Chrissy, I'll help you.
ASJ*****ASJ
HEYES
Now I would gladly work in the broom factory. The kitchen is unbelievably hot and steamy. And we all work in ankle shackles. Watching the food being prepared, I don't want to eat any of it. The man I replaced didn't get sick; he died. The smell in here by the evening is enough to make anyone throw up. But that's not allowed. I washed the dishes so well and so fast that I don't wash dishes anymore. All I do is sit at a table with two other prisoners and cut up potatoes, sometimes peppers, and whatever other vegetables the prison gets cheaply. But always there are potatoes. Since we do this with dull, very dull knives, there are two guards to watch the three of us. One of the men cut his hand while chopping some onions. The guards yelled at him and said he did it on purpose. I think he probably did. It would be very difficult to cut yourself with knives this dull, you would really have to try. Scared me though. I learned they took him to the infirmary, then solitary for trying to get out of work by cutting himself.
I am paying close attention to every cut I make. I don't want to make a mistake and end up in solitary. If they want me to cut up vegetables, I will cut up vegetables. It will be the best the vegetables have ever been cut and the quickest. I want to get out of here and Kid to be proud of me.
I told Dr. Arden I would like to go back to making brooms. He seemed confused, told me the kitchen was supposed to only be for a day or two. He shuffled papers on his desk and said he'd look into it. I think that's his way of saying, 'No' without saying 'No.'
JED
Before I left to see Heyes again, I drove Chrissy and Luke into Three Birds for Mass. He had talked me into goin' with them sayin' it's good sometimes just to sit quiet and think. He said I need to take time for myself.
Not sure if Chrissy knew what was happenin'. She grew very quiet. This was her first wagon ride since we arrived. She insisted that we all sit on the front seat with her protected in the middle between us. When we got to the church, she saw the people goin' in and I could feel her silently shakin'. "It's okay, darlin'. Luke and I are right here with you."
Luke looked a question at me. I shook my head; we'd at least try goin' in before we gave up. He helped her down from the wagon, but she stayed standin' next to the wagon. I settled the horse and wagon and joined them as they entered the building.
Luke whispered to Chrissy, "We'll just sit right here in the back. You sit between us." After a moment she moved and sat in the last row, shoulders down, back straight, starin' to the left of the altar at nothing. Luke participated. I did as he suggested and used the time to clear my mind and reflect. Chrissy sat still. Well, she sat still until the final hymn, then on the last chorus, she stood with all the people and sang the chorus with the entirely wrong tune. "Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel."
When everyone else was finished, she wasn't. She loudly sang "Amen," on a very off keynote. She turned and waited patiently for me to leave, closely followin' behind me.
A few people, who had seen her at the blacksmith shop, said hello but were ignored. Chrissy stopped short and I was glad Luke was trailin' us. He diverted those people around us.
"Home!" Chrissy said emphatically but stayed put.
I was about to hold out my arm to her, but stopped. I still offer it every mornin' and it is still ignored. "Okay, Chrissy, home. Let's go to the wagon."
HEYES
I'm scared. It's making me work slower. If I cut myself, I will go to solitary. So, I decided to confide in Dr. Arden. He surprised me. He told me telling him my fears was progress. He smiled. I'd never seen him smile. If I knew something like this would make him happy, I would have told him other minor fears I have. But this is not minor. It took me twenty minutes to get out the words to tell him. I am so scared of losing my chance I am losing my speech even more. But even with all that, all he finally said was he'd look into it. To me, that still means no and I'm more scared than ever. When I leave his office, the shackles are put back on in the hall and I'm escorted to the kitchen. I can't do this. I'm afraid one cut and I am finished. The pile of potatoes is small today and there's little else. There are many high windows here. They are built to let the steam out of this room. Just like in the broom factory, I focus on them as a system of freedom. I will cut perfect potatoes as fast as I can without cutting myself. There is so little to cut there are only two of us with the dull knives, but still two guards.
Tomorrow the Kid and Lom come. I will visit them without shackles.
LOM
I took an earlier train so I was sure I would be here before the Kid. I understand he's nervous whenever we visit Heyes. I wish I could get him to talk to me the way he used to talk to Heyes. I worry about how he's dealing with his future. He keeps himself so busy that he doesn't have time to think. He does it on purpose. That long in prison breaks everyone to some extent and he willingly made it harder by letting himself be slaved out to the railroad. Someday all that hurt and pain and submission will come back hard on his shoulders. I hope me or Heyes is there to help him the way he's taking care of everyone else.
This time the ride had companionable conversation as he related some of Chrissy's accomplishments. Listening closely, I heard the affection in his voice and maybe more.
"Kid, how you feel about her? Still hurt?"
"Aww Lom. How can I not love her and always want to be with her?" I saw he was embarrassed by the question, still he answered it honestly.
"You said you needed her to tell you about…"
"Nah." Before I could say the words, he interrupted. "Your words on the train helped. There's no need for forgiveness. I love her."
We were quiet and I knew soon the prison would be in view and that would be the end of our conversation. But the Kid surprised me, he kept talking even though that building was in sight.
"Lom, when do you think we should tell Heyes about Chrissy?"
"Not yet. When he's near the end of this six months."
"Why wait?"
"He may not seem it, but he's fragile. He is holding on to reality through you. You're his strength. If he thinks he has to share you, it might not be good for him."
"Yeah, okay. And Lom, how's our child?"
"Our?"
"Chrissy and me and Heyes. You're right that we can't take care of a toddler right now, but do ya think I can visit?" There was a hint of pleading in his voice.
"Kid, I promised Chrissy she'd be the one to handle all that. I'm sorry."
"I have some money saved if there's anything…"
"Healthy and happy with no need of anything."
And then the trustees were coming out to take our horses. The Kid sighed and looked up at the high windows around the building. Then he stepped forward and knocked on the door. As we walked in back of the guard, the Kid looked neither left nor right. He just stared at the back of the guard, and I wondered what he was thinking. The guard knocked on the door and pushed it open without waiting for a reply.
Heyes was already sitting there, and he stood up when we came in. He looked to the doctor, and I realized he was waiting for permission to talk. Before Dr. Arden could nod to Heyes, the Kid had swept him up into one of those huge bear hugs he's been giving him. When we left the last time, I asked the Kid why the big hugs. Told me in prison, you don't realize it, but you miss human contact. He figures to give Heyes two weeks of that in two bear hugs each visit.
"Heyes, you made it!" The enthusiasm in the Kid's voice was real and made me smile. "I was afraid that…that..."
"Gonna….gonna…make it," Heyes answered with the hint of a smile.
But then the Kid held Heyes at arms distance and I saw concern on his face. Heyes turned to me and held out his hand to shake, "Lom."
"Good to see you without shackles, Heyes."
I thought I saw a sad grin.
Dr. Arden motioned to the chairs. "Sit down, please. Mr. Curry, Mr. Trevors, sorry I wasn't able to meet with you before your visit with Heyes."
The Kid was on alert. "What's wrong," he asked. I was glad he spoke in a regular tone. I had warned him about using his growl with a man that could help his cousin.
"Nothing's wrong. I will give you a brief update and then leave you to your visit." The doctor looked at the notes on his desk.
I could tell the Kid was steeling himself for bad news and that Heyes was confused. I think that's what the doctor wanted. He likes to keep people off guard.
"Only that the last two weeks have been trying for Heyes. He was assigned kitchen duty after another convict was unable to work."
"Cause…he…died," Heyes interrupted.
The doctor shot Heyes a glare. He was not used to prisoners interrupting him.
"Yes, and Heyes has been working there for the last two weeks. I'm afraid the prisoners complain working there is hot, smelly and unpleasant. And the convicts work in leg shackles."
Curry looked at Heyes. "Ain't any hotter than runnin' a blacksmith forge in the middle of the Arizona desert."
Looks of wonder, concern, then guilt showed on what used to be Heyes' poker face as he put the pieces of the Kid's prison life together. "So...rry," he managed to get out and I saw him wipe what I thought was a tear from his eye.
Dr. Arden had lost control of the conversation again, so he spoke louder. I was thinking later he'd probably practiced saying this part so he could get a reaction from the Kid. He seemed to be fascinated by him compared to Heyes. "Well, anyway, the good news is that starting today, convict Heyes will be back in the broom factory."
Heyes smiled and gave a sigh of relief.
The Kid asked politely, "That's a good thing?"
Putting his hand on the Kid's arm, Heyes nodded. "Y…yes. Thank you, Dr. Arden, sir."
Seeming pleased with his announcement, the doctor left the room. Heyes opened the door he went through to see that no one was behind it.
The Kid had stood up and he turned Heyes around and lifted his shirt. "Good, I was afrai…"
He stopped talking when Heyes stepped in back of him and pulled up his shirt. Heyes touched the now healing lacerations that had been open and bloody the last time he looked. "Good."
"Heyes, you were wearin' the shackles to work?'
Heyes nodded to the Kid rather than use words.
"You got cuts on your ankles?"
Again, Heyes nodded and I was alarmed that he wasn't using words. The Kid noticed it, too. "If we turn around, can you tell us what scared the words out of you?"
"Y…Yes."
Me and the Kid turned around but heard nothing. After a minute or so, we turned around to see a dejected Heyes sitting in the chair, head in his hands. "Words…go." He snapped his fingers.
"Let's try again," I said, and we turned away in our chairs.
"Kit..chen cut pota..pota..vegetables." He stopped as if trying to find more words.
"You were always a decent cook, except for coffee." The Kid's words were teasing, to help his partner relax.
"Man…cut hand. Go to…solitary…Say…say trying to get out of work," Heyes finished.
I could see all the teasing gone from the Kid. He had turned around and leaned toward Heyes, placing a hand on each of his cousin's knees. "And you were afraid that it you cut yourself they would think it would be to get out of kitchen duty and you'd go to solitary and lose everything."
Heyes nodded, biting his lip,
I could see the Kid's hatred of this place take over his thoughts by blue eyes growing darker, a swirl of anger behind them.
It was Heyes turn to calm the Kid. "Over...now. Brooms better."
The Kid nodded his head slowly. "Ninety-eight," he said as they were quiet and locked eyes. "See you still have that bruise on your chin."
"Fall." Heyes grinned. "Make me…look…look tough?"
"Not so tough." The Kid was more relaxed than when we entered and leaned back in his chair.
"Kid…you… leased labor? Slave? No…good!"
The muscles in the Kid's shoulders tensed again. I saw it. Heyes saw it. "Over…now," he repeated.
We heard noises outside the door.
"Partners?" It was always a question that Heyes needed to ask. Each time there was an almost desperate feel to the question.
"Always partners. But I can't have your back in here."
"I be...good. Make…good…brooms.