May 2033: The End and After
Then he felt the draught…
Trent had been aware that this moment would come of course, right from that first day in April when he had resolved that he would be present for the Head Warbler right up until the very end. However, he had somehow always envisaged that the moment would come during the night, or when Thad was alone in his room. He had run through both of those scenarios in his head so many times. What he had not planned for was that he would be in the room when the moment came, that Thad would be happy and chatty; death had seemed far away, but now the moment had arrived. The draught was unmistakable to him and whereas he would have welcomed it once, now he knew that it was not a sign of a friendly visit…
He did not turn around, just carried on inspecting his handiwork; if this was the end, then Thad was going in the best of condition looks wise at least. He watched then as in what seemed like slow motion, Thad lifted his head, having felt that same draught; he saw his eyes widen and then watched as a smile appeared on his lips, one which quickly became a broad grin. That was how Trent knew for sure that this was the moment, even before Thad said that one word, a word which was filled with such joy…
"Wessie!"
Trent knew that nobody else would come for Thad, that his husband would not entrust the task to anyone else…
"Hello, my little one," came that familiar voice. "This is the saddest moment of my life, but also conversely the happiest one since our wedding day. It is time for you to come and join me in our marital home…"
Thad's smile did not fade as those words were uttered, but then his eyes moved back to Trent, not knowing exactly what was about to happen next; Wes, however, did and he took charge, now addressing Trent directly.
"I see that everyone is waiting downstairs in the dorm common room; I think then that it would be best for your sake, Trent, for you to pretend that I am not here yet. The bearer of bad tidings is always disliked, and you do not deserve to be the messenger that is shot. It would be far better for all of them to come up together and discover that he is gone, don't you agree? To that end I suggest that you give me five or ten minutes once you leave the room before you head to the common room and send them all up to see him."
Trent still did not turn round, but Thad could see that his face had frozen, and was masking all the emotions he felt as he nodded to the suggestion that had been made. Thad took his hand then, and said, "Trent, our dearest Robin, I can never thank you enough for all that you have done for me over the last few weeks; you went above and beyond, and even brought me back my other siblings. You are a true friend, and I will never forget it."
Trent nodded, then said, "It was an honour and privilege to be here for you… Now, you go and be happy, Mr Thad Montgomery…" Wes smiled at that, then watched as Trent made a note of the time on his watch, before gathering up the basins, cloth and towel, and without a backward glance, made his way out of the room…
Wes and Thad listened as Trent emptied the water in the basins down the sink in the kitchen, before he dried both the bowls, hung the cloth and towel up to dry, then headed out of the apartment, no doubt checking his watch again as he left…
"Right, my dear husband, it is time for our eternity together to commence. I must apologise first that it has been so long since I came to see you, but the truth is that it was too painful to me to watch you in pain, which does make me a bit of a coward…"
"It's okay, Wessie, I understand…"
"I know, but it also led you to doubt whether this moment was going to happen, didn't it? Thankfully, our Davie was around to tell you to stop letting that nonsense rule your life and break your heart even more. Okay, so we need to get on, as I told Trent to give me five minutes or so…."
"Where is he now?"
"He is sitting on the back stairs, crying his eyes out, having the inevitable moment of grief they will all have on his own. He has bottled up so much pain over the last few weeks and now the floodgates have burst open. He will be up on his feet in a couple of minutes though, will give his face a quick wash, then will head with purpose to the common room to say you are ready to see them all…"
Thad nodded, his heart arching for poor Trent, the keeper of the Warblers' secrets now burdened with the worst one of all temporarily. "So, what do I need to do to go with you? It isn't something that you have ever discussed with me, even when it was about other people."
Wes smiled, and said, "It is actually quite simple, my love; you just take my hands then let yourself relax. Then, when you feel me pull on your hands, you just hold onto me tightly. Your soul will leave your mortal body and will instantly form into your angelic one. The only time that there is ever an issue with the process is when someone fights it, because they aren't ready to come. Somehow, I don't imagine that being an issue for you…"
"I want to take your hands right now, because I am so ready to start my new life with you at my side. I am sure that life will not always be an easy one, because nothing worthwhile is ever that simple, but I think that I will be able to handle anything that it throws at me because I will always have you at my side…" replied Thad.
He then let Wes take his hands, holding on to them tight as he let the rest of his body relax; that was not hard to do after all the pain he had experienced in the last few weeks, which now seemed to be ebbing away. Then the moment came when he felt a sharp tug on his hands and he went with it; he smiled as he watched the grin on his husband's face widen even more, and felt all the pain go at once, the exhaustion leave his heart and then the room around him seemed to fade into nothing…
Sitting on the stairs, swiping at his eyes at that moment, Trent did not feel the same kind of pain that he had done at the second that Wes had passed away; he and his contemporaries were not left screaming out in pain this time. He did feel a sudden ache in his heart, as if it knew that something in the world had shifted and that everything had changed. He guessed what that meant at once and his tears fell a little faster…
The same sensation was felt by a number of his contemporaries as they sat and stood in the common room, but most did not regard that as a significant thing; David however felt that ache and looked up to see Nick staring right at him, and saw that the younger man looked uneasy all of a sudden, just as he felt himself at that juncture…
Meanwhile Trent got up on his feet and walked with purpose down the stairs, then popped into the restroom beside them on the ground level. As Wes had surmised, he immediately headed for the sink and tried to wash his face as best as he could with the paper towels available to him in there. Then he dried his face off, resisting the urge to cry once more, because he had a final job to do before he could let his emotions take over; a job for two Head Warblers, nonetheless. He found his store of courage and headed back out into the hallway and began to walk the short distance to the common room….
As he neared the doorway of that room, he could hear the voices of all of his friends' drift along the corridor. The conversation seemed to be light, but it wasn't happy; however, neither was it filled with grief and pain. He knew that was going to change in just a few minutes time, almost exactly at the moment that they walked into the bedroom upstairs where he suspected that neither Wes nor Thad was present any longer… Inside the common room, David and Sebastian had been holding the others in check now for a while. Flint had been the first of the alumni to appear that morning, followed by an apologetic Beats, who informed Sebastian quietly that his best friend would have been there an hour ago had he not bluntly told him that he was not going anywhere until he had eaten some breakfast. Nick and Jeff had arrived behind Ethan, Drew and Cameron, but the blond confirmed to his fellow musketeer that was only because they had spent some time before they came with their son in a silent refectory. "Have all the boys been issued with a black armband, or is it just the Warblers?" Jeff then asked. Sebastian wasn't sure, but he had a suspicion that it might well be the latter. Thad was much loved as a teacher by the whole school and certainly Mrs Carmichael had indicated that she had enough of those black bands for the entire student body and staff…
Colin and Edward had then appeared, which was an indication that Skylar would not be far behind, as they had been staying at his place the night before. He ended up walking in between Mitch and Gabriel; the first thing he said to Sebastian was that the room and indeed the whole school was unnaturally quiet. Sebastian had to concur, missing the usual buzz of chatter that was usual at any gathering of their normally jovial group. All they could do was wait for Trent to arrive and inform them that they could head upstairs. David had already told them that they would be going as a group at Thad's request, as it would tire him out less. He also informed them that Hayden would be coming to do some medical checks that afternoon, but they could expect Ollie to arrive in the next hour or so…
After he had said that Gabriel approached him, and asked quietly, "What did you make of his three other siblings? I mean, they did seem like reasonably nice people, not the monsters I was half anticipating."
"I admit that I was expecting the same, but I think that the monsters in the family are the parents. All I know is that Thad has forgiven them for cutting him out of their lives and we need to respect that. We are both aware that Thad is not the only one of our brotherhood that has problem parents, and we also know the effect that forceful parents can have on a child. From what I have heard, Thad's father is not a good man by any stretch of the imagination; he has medical skills, but no compassion or empathy. His God is money; I mean, look at what he tried to do when we were setting up the hospice. He had those three scared enough to bow down to his wishes; only Ollie eventually had the courage and humanity to rebel, and he was cut off as a consequence. Fortunately, the other three have found their store of bravery at the last minute…"
"I also heard what Benjamin Harwood Jnr is intending to do to his parents next week. I would give anything to be a fly on the wall in that board meeting, and later on when mother and father discover what their children have done. I suspect that they will not go quietly, anxious not to leave the empire that they have built up; worse, I think that they should be most afraid of the reaction of their mother…"
That conversation came to an abrupt halt when Trent appeared in the doorway; he did not look up at them, but just said in a clear voice, "He is ready for you all now if you want to make your way up."
David nodded and led the way, all the others following behind him, with one exception. Jeff had been deep in conversation with Cameron when the announcement had been made and they went out side by side, but Nick hung back, letting everyone else file past Trent. He made for the door but stopped beside Trent instead of walking along the corridor. In a very quiet voice, he said, "Why did you not look at us when you told us that? You are one of those people that always emphasises the importance of eye contact, and yet, you didn't make it…" He waited and eventually Trent lifted his head; the moment he saw his friend's face, Nick knew why he had not done so. "He's gone, hasn't he? I felt something in my heart earlier…"
Trent nodded and said, "Wes came when I had just finished up getting him ready to see all of you… they asked me to give them five minutes before I came down here to tell you all to head upstairs…"
Nick looked at Trent and could see how heartbroken he was…
Then he heard David's voice…
"Thad? Thad? THADDIE!"
Nick knew then that the secret was out. He looked at Trent, who just shook his head and hissed at him, "Go Nick! Jeff will need you upstairs…"
"But you…"
"I will be okay, but you know that your husband won't be…"
Nick knew that his friend was right and with one last look of sympathy he sprinted up the stairs, making his way to what he knew would be a scene of carnage in Thad's bedroom. David was on his knees at the side of the bed, holding Thad's cooling hand tightly in his own; on either side of him knelt Mitch and Gabriel, both of them with a hand on David's shoulder. Beside them Drew was sobbing onto Ethan's chest, who in turn had an arm around Beats, who was trying his best to comfort a distraught Flint. Colin and Edward were standing alongside Skylar, who was staring blankly into space, as he knew what this meant; that he, alongside Sebastian, was now the Head Warbler…
Nick saw that his husband was being held by the latter, who was in tears himself. Nick made his way over to them and placed an arm around his crying husband. Sebastian looked at him curiously for a moment, wondering where he had been until that moment. The way that Nick was acting seemed strange, until suddenly for Sebastian, the penny dropped, and he made the connection. Nick had been confronting Trent about the way he had been when he told them to come up and had discovered what Sebastian now realised. Trent had known that Thad would not be alive by the time they reached his room…
Downstairs, as soon as he was alone, Trent had allowed his tears to flow once more. He considered heading upstairs once more, but then he decided that he needed to do something else instead. It would be perfectly conceivable after all that he would have drawn the right conclusion from the noises upstairs and that would be his defence should anyone question the actions he was about to take later. He headed out of the dorm building and made his way across the road, before following the path to the house that he had visited so many times since he was a teenager. He rang the doorbell, not bothering to wipe his eyes this time, as he knew they would be an immediate indicator of why he was there to the person that opened the door…
He was proved correct; the moment that Edith Carmichael opened the front door of her home and saw him, she knew that Thad had gone. Trent watched as her eyes became moist, then said in a solemn voice, "He passed away just a few minutes ago; the others are all with him right now, but I felt it was my duty to come here and tell you what has happened as soon as possible, as you loved him as much as we all did. Now that I have, I will go and inform Principal Lefevre of the news…"
"I can do that," came the voice of Aaron Carmichael, who was now standing in the hallway behind his wife. "You need to be here with the others, not heading over to the school…"
"Well…"
"Someone needs to tell his brother as soon as possible too. He is his next of kin and deserves to know before it is made public knowledge," said Mrs Carmichael in a sad tone. "You can come in and call him from here…"
Trent realised that task was pressing and went to step in, "He was staying with Hayden last night…" Then his voice faltered, and his face paled. "He was coming to see Thad and is due any moment! Oh God, what if he arrives whilst I am here, and he heads up…"
"You head back to the dorms and wait outside for him; the news is probably best coming from you," said Aaron Carmichael, using the same authoritative tone he had employed as Dalton's principal for all those years. "My dear, you should call Hayden and advise him in any case, and there is a chance that Oliver is still there. We will need a doctor to certify death whatever else happens. Meanwhile, I shall make my way over to the school and inform Principal Lefevre. I think that we need to arrange for the current Warblers to be gathered in the Senior Commons, so that they can be told together. I think they should be informed before the rest of the school finds out."
Trent and his former Principal walked together briefly as they headed back in the direction of the school drive. As they walked, Aaron turned to speak to his former student. "Promise me that you will take proper time to grieve for him yourself, and possibly even go and see a counsellor. It is hard for all of us to lose him, but in the last few weeks you have been closer to him than any of the others; I am sure you would agree that it is important sometimes to talk to someone and ensure that your own mental health doesn't suffer as a result of your incredible kindness. I will be suggesting the same thing to both David and Sebastian too, as they also had a lot of contact with him."
"I will agree to do that," replied Trent quietly, "but for now I am on autopilot, and if I keep myself busy and occupied, then hopefully I can get through today without cracking up; I am sure that Rory will be there for me too…"
Trent said no more as they reached the school drive; Aaron Carmichael paused to place a hand for a moment on Trent's arm, before he headed off in the direction of the office that had been his for such a long time. Trent headed back towards the dorm building and was surprised as he reached the door to see Sebastian emerge and look at him quizzically. "I went across to tell the Carmichaels what has happened, after I heard what…"
"I know. Nick was late arriving and then it clicked for me as it must have done for him; you never made eye contact with us when you told us to go up. Wes obviously came whilst you were still with Thad…" Trent nodded, then opened his mouth to explain, but Sebastian stopped him. "You, me and Nick; our secret. It wouldn't do anyone any good to share it. How did the Carmichaels take the news?"
Trent smiled at Sebastian in thanks, then said, "They are devastated, obviously, but like me they are both running on automatic. Mrs Carmichael is calling Hayden, because we are expecting Ollie to arrive any minute and also because we need the death certified. Aaron is off to let Principal Lefevre know, as the boys will all need to be told as well. He was going to ask that the Warblers been sent to the Senior Commons first of all…"
"So that they can be informed separately from the rest of the school," said Sebastian, his face paling a little. "I guess that is where I need to head just now as well then – and Skylar too for that matter. We are the de facto Head Warblers now."
"I think that is best; it is going to be hard news for them all to handle, especially the seniors and little Wes, and they will need to see that you are there for them…" Sebastian suddenly pulled Trent into a hug as he finished speaking, before heading back inside, emerging again a minute later with a still stunned Skylar, heading off towards the school buildings. As they reached the school drive, Sebastian heard a car approaching and with a quick glance, he realised whose car it was. He did not envy Trent at all at that moment; Ollie was about to discover that his little brother had passed away, and the loss of a sibling was not easy. He could recall how much pain he had felt as a child when Julian had vanished from his life, but that would be nothing compared to what Oliver Harwood was about to face now. For him, there was no prospect of a reunion on the mortal plane in the future…
Trent had also heard the car coming towards him; had also recognised it before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. For a moment he pondered if he should head back inside and have Ollie find him in the hallway, but then he decided it might be better for the doctor if he fell apart away from the eyes of the others. In any case, he would have seen him standing there by now. He heard the car stop, but it seemed like forever before he heard the door open and then the sound of Dr Ollie Harwood's voice… "I'm there now, so I will see you soon. Yes, I love you too Marcia…" Hearing that made Trent smile inside, as his plan had worked perfectly and he had reunited the Harwood siblings, but now he had to break the news that Ollie would know was coming, but would never be ready to hear… "Hey Trent, how is he this morning?" Ollie said and Trent lifted up his head.
His facial expression meant that there was no need for him to respond to the question. He watched in silence as Dr Oliver Harwood stared at him, then shook his head, mouthing the word 'No', as tears began to form in his eyes… "I'm so sorry…" Trent began, but he got no further before an almost inhuman wail of sheer grief and anguish rent the air. Trent was able to catch Ollie before he fell to the ground, to hold him close to him as he sobbed his heart out…
He did not know how long they had been there when he suddenly realised that they were no longer alone, then heard Edith Carmichael say, "Shall we take him over to the house and allow him to have the peace and space that he needs to grieve in private? He can go up and say his last goodbye to his brother in his own good time; Thad will not be going anywhere…"
Between them, Trent and Mrs Carmichael supported Ollie as they walked him over to the latter's home, then guided him to the sofa. Once he was sitting down, Edith sat next to him and wrapped her arms around him, allowing him to sob once more. As she did, she passed Trent a piece of paper on which she had written him a note. 'Hayden is on his way, upset and worried for Ollie and his siblings. Have you called Michelle? If not, you should, as it would be advisable for her to be at her husband's side at this devastating time.' Trent nodded in agreement, then with a wave of a hand from Edith, he headed back over to the dorm building once more, dialling the number of Michelle's cellphone as he walked; the sooner she was present, the better…
Neither Sebastian or Skylar had said a word to each other as they walked with purpose into the school building and made their way to the Senior Commons. The room was still empty, the instruction to gather there not yet given, but being there felt different that day. Skylar turned to Sebastian then and whispered, "We're the Head Warblers now. He's gone, and so by his decree…"
"Yes, we are, and in all honesty, right now I would give anything not to be. How do you want to handle this?" Sebastian replied.
"We just need to be honest with them, but I think they are all smart enough to know why they are being sent here in the middle of classes; we will probably not have to say anything much, just be here to comfort them. It will be an exercise in managing grief and helping them through today and indeed, the rest of the term…"
Sebastian held up his hand then to stop Skylar speaking, as he had heard the sound of feet running in the corridor outside, which was normally one of the major misdemeanours that could be committed by a student at Dalton Academy. Then the door was flung open and Owain was in the room with them, his face already stained with the tears that he was crying; Sebastian held his arms open and pulled the boy into a hug, allowing the current Head Warbler to break down in them…
Sebastian was not at all surprised by Owain's reaction, as he knew that Thad had been responsible for giving the young man the confidence to become what he now was and losing him at this moment had to be so painful. He knew that there was so little he could say that would offer him any comfort; all he could suggest was that he continue to show the characteristics that Thad had seen in him and support the others by carrying on as best as he could.
As he held Owain, Sebastian was aware of other Warblers entering the room, most of them already in pairs, their arms already round each other as the tears began to flow. Skylar was supporting them all as best as he could. Glancing round, Sebastian was glad to see that little Wes had Tim for support as he came in; he had wondered if the intelligent boy would have worked out what was going on and disobeyed instructions, heading back to the dorm and his dads instead of to the Senior Commons. He looked over to Skylar, but saw he was already heading over to Wes and Tim, pulling them both into a hug as the room full of boys mourned for the man that had meant so much to each one of them…
It would be five minutes later when the voice of Principal Lefevre came through on the public address system that had been installed at Dalton for emergency use; she sounded emotional from the moment that she began to speak, but nonetheless her voice was both authoritative and clear.
"It is with the deepest of sorrow that I have to make the following announcement to you all, to inform you that a short time ago, Mr Thad Harwood, Head of the History department, housemaster and long-term Head Warbler, passed away in his bed in his apartment. As you will all be aware, he was suffering from pancreatic cancer, one of the few cancers that is still a death sentence to this day. He dealt with that diagnosis with a calmness and dignity that few would, and carried on as long as he was able. As a mark of respect, I am cancelling all remaining classes before lunch. They will resume afterwards, which I think we all know would be what Mr Harwood would have wished, but there will be no demerits issued to anyone that does not feel able to attend their classes this afternoon. I would request that you all avoid the Warbler dorm building, as those closest to him and his family are there grieving for their loss, and I am sure that you will all respect that request. All that we can hope now is that in death he has been reunited with those he had loved and lost in life. He was so convinced that it would happen after he ascended to his deserved place in heaven. It also goes without saying that the doors of the school counsellors' offices and also the door of my office and the deputy principals will be open to anyone that needs us. Updates as to a memorial service will be given when they are known…"
There had been silence in the Senior Commons as she had spoken and now that she had finished there was still silence as the initial shock deepened. Skylar turned to Sebastian and said quietly, "I wonder if we should take the boys over to the dorm? If we keep them in here, we may find that some of the other boys, meaning well, will arrive to pay their respects to them and that will be something they would struggle with in most cases."
"I guess that is a sensible plan, but we will go out via the back door of the school, as everyone else will be approaching from the front. I am sure that being with the alumni will be a help and it will be good for Wes to be with his dads at this moment too. There will be a multitude of shoulders to cry on over there, not just ours…" whispered Sebastian in reply. He could see that Owain was still devastated for a start and that around the room there was obvious pain in the hearts of the majority…
Thus, Sebastian and Skylar quietly led the Warblers out of the school building, the former sending a quick message to Principal Lefevre to let her know what was happening. He then sent a message to Trent to let him know that they were on their way; both messages were quickly acknowledged and received affirmative replies. As they approached the back entrance to the Warbler dorm, the door opened, and Nick and Jeff appeared. Sebastian expected them to take little Wes out of the crocodile of boys, but to his surprise they took Tim with them as well. They headed in the direction of the little corner of the school grounds where the hedges hid them from view, the place where they had all fled to hide from Hunter back in the darkest days of their senior year; it was the perfect place for Wes to cry with his parents. The fact that Tim was being taken too made Sebastian smile; it was evidence that they boy was obviously a very close friend to Wes and that his parents accepted that…
Once inside the dorm building, the remaining boys made their way to the common room, which was where the other alumni could be found; in that room they could let out all of their emotions in an atmosphere of privacy, where everyone felt the same. Nobody would mention anything that happened in there that day, and no-one would be judged.
Trent took Sebastian and Skylar to one side and said, "Ollie is here and is currently with Mrs Carmichael at her home; he is naturally devastated, and she insisted that she was the one that should deal with his grief. Hayden is on his way and will be heading over there first. He has promised to give me a heads up when he is bringing Ollie over to see Thad. He also hinted to me that he is going to encourage Ollie to call his siblings and get them all over here to say that final farewell that we all need when a member of the family passes away…"
Then there was a surprise voice behind them; none of them had even noticed that Owain had come over, nor that he had been listening to their conversation. At those last words, he had gained the courage to speak up and say, "Could I also see him one last time? He was such a good friend to me, not just a teacher of housemaster, and well, I would like to say my last farewell to him…"
There was a moment of silence then between the three older men, as they had not anticipated such a request being made. They had also not expected that on overhearing his words, there would be at least half a dozen other boys that had a look on their faces that suggested they were just as keen as Owain to say a last personal goodbye to Thad. Eventually Sebastian spoke. "Well, if Hayden is going to let us know when he is bringing Ollie over, then I guess that I could take them up now, but only for a minute…"
Trent looked uncertain, conflicted as to whether it was a good idea, but then he nodded, resigned to the fact that it had to happen and better sooner than later. "Okay, if anyone wants to say one last goodbye to Mr Harwood in person, then we need to go now. It will be brief, and I should also point out that Mr Thompson is up there at the moment, keeping vigil at his bedside. They were very close friends, and you must be respectful of him and the loss he is feeling right now."
There were nodding heads and soon a small group of seven of the current Warblers, mostly seniors and juniors, were heading in the direction of the stairs. As they reached them, they bumped into Nick, Jeff, Wes and Tim as they came back in; when it was disclosed where they were heading, the group swelled to eight, as Wes had asked his parents if he could join the group and they had not stood in his way. They had all watched as he went to the front of the group and took Owain's hand, to give him support; the current Head Warbler appreciated the gesture and they headed up, side by side, their pace swift until they reached the door of the apartment…
Sebastian headed in alone to speak to David, fully prepared to cancel the visit if he had any objection, but he was fine with it. When the boys came in, he had moved away from the side of the bed to allow them easier access. On seeing Thad's body, Owain burst into tears once more and instinctively Wes once again took his hand even as his own eyes misted over. They stood in silence for a moment, and then from nowhere, Owain began to pray out loud for Thad; such was the heartfelt quality of the words and the emotion that he said them with that when he came to an end, they all said "Amen" without a moment's thought…