Life 3:12
Snakepaw emerged from the medicine den, glad to have finished most of his work for the day. He'd have to sort the herbs Mudfur brought in later, but for now, he had some free time. Thus, he decided to do one of Riverclan's old methods of passing the day. He decided to meditate. Of course, Snakepaw knew he'd need a good spot.
Snakepaw exited the camp, trying to think of a good spot to rest his mind. For a while, he wandered listlessly before a thought occurred to him. He wanted to hear the river. The quiet babble of the water was rhythmic and soothing. He knew it would be key to finding a meditation spot, so Snakepaw found himself following the edge of the river, listening for the right kinds of sounds and the right kind of feeling. Eventually, he found it not all that far from Sunningrocks. Before the river had shifted, Sunningrocks was the go to place to meditate. The warm stone, proximity to the river, and nearby trees caused the area to near constantly be suffused with a harmony of bird chatter, flowing water, and scuttling of small prey. Unfortunately, it was currently in Thunderclan's possession. Even if it weren't, the ongoing battles for the territory made it no longer suitable for meditation. Instead, Snakepaw found a decent stone outcrop that was near the river's edge. There wasn't as much warmth as at Sunningrocks, but the river still was audible, and the birds still chattered. This place would do.
Snakepaw straightened himself, doublechecking that his posture would hold before closing his eyes. He allowed no thought to drift in yet. He needed to feel the harmony of the forest before allowing thought to cloud his meditation. Snakepaw reined in his senses, ignoring all stimulus to reach the heart of his meditation. There was silence and blackness. Ever so slowly, Snakepaw allowed the world to be felt more. At first, it was the little things like the breeze lightly tugging on his fur. Next came the gritty texture of the stone beneath his paws. Then came the smell of river water. It was always better in Snakepaw's opinion to save hearing for last, seeing as that one was the most likely to be distracting. Snakepaw let his self-imposed silence continue a few moments more before opening his ears to the world.
Snakepaw's meditation was interrupted by something rustling the bushes nearby. Something or someone was shoving their way through. Snakepaw would have to hold off on meditating for now. He'd have to dela with his guest first. Snakepaw opened his eyes, annoyed at how close he was to reaching harmony before being interrupted. Finally, the guest made an appearance. It was another cat with leopard spots, just like him. She'd clearly come alone, expecting this spot to be empty.
"Snakepaw? What are you doing here?" Leopardfur mewed.
"I was about to get some good meditating in. You?" Snakepaw answered, resettling himself back into his meditative position.
"Meditating? What's that?" Leopardfur asked, ignoring the question Snakepaw asked.
"It's a way to find yourself. Sometimes the world is too overwhelming. We can't handle all of it at once. Meditation is a method of reducing that, confronting a small part of it at a time. Long before the river shifted, Riverclan used to consider meditation as something just as important as sharing tongues. Warriors were taught to preemptively engage in battles in their minds, anticipating their opponents, and confronting their fears." Snakepaw explained.
"Sounds… interesting." Leopardfur mewed, clearly not getting it in the slightest.
"What are you doing out here Leopardfur?" Snakepaw pressed again, seeing her slightly flinch at the question.
"I'm… I'm hiding. It's just too much, the responsibility, the expectations, everything. Some small part of me always believed Crookedstar would live forever. In a faint way, I still hope it's true. I don't think I can do it. I don't want to let them down. I-I." Leopardfur muttered before Snakepaw pressed his tail against her to force her attention.
"Come. Sit with me." Snakepaw gently commanded, guiding Leopardfur to sit on the outcrop with him. She slightly enjoyed the warmth of the stone, but there wasn't enough room to properly sprawl out.
"I appreciate the attempt to calm me, but there's not enough space to nap here." Leopardfur mewed.
"Who said anything about napping. No. We're here to meditate. It's the perfect thing to help confront all those problems niggling at you. We're going to confront them slowly, first acknowledging the world as a whole." Snakepaw mewed in a calm tone.
"What?" Leopardfur began, but Snakepaw was already in motion, gently pressing Leopardfur into a surprisingly stable and comfortable sitting posture. She still did not fully understand all that was going on.
"Now, we'll begin with the easy part. Just close your eyes. Don't think about anything. Just let it go blank. Feel the darkness and silence as all your thoughts muddle down to near nothing." Snakepaw instructed.
Leopardfur clearly tried to do as Snakepaw asked, but her ear would flick on occasion and she slightly jittered, clearly antsy to move. "Perhaps you need a bit more help." Snakepaw mewed, pressing himself against her as he put himself into a similar trance. "Focus on my breathing and match me. Let the rise and fall of my chest and the sound of my breathing be the only thing you focus on." Snakepaw once again instructed, slowing his own breathing as he let his won world drift into silence. Leopardfur had calmed somewhat. Snakepaw could tell she'd reached the silence. It was time to open back up.
"It's time to let the world in slowly. Smell the river nearby. Feel the breeze rustling your fur. Bask in it for a few moments." Snakepaw continued, now feeling sensation reenter him, the wind kissing him like an old friend and the scent of the river bringing the sense of familiarity and comfort. Snakepaw knew he could continue this state while allowing his eyes to open and see. He wanted to see Leopardfur.
Snakepaw slowly opened his eyes, allowing the world to come into focus but not allowing it to break his meditation. Leopardfur beside him had her eyes closed, but she was still. Her ears did not flick and she did not jitter. Instead, a small smile was on her muzzle. She was clearly enjoying the exercise.
"Now comes the hard part. The world is filled with distracting noises. Each one always seems to vie for our attention. Do not let it. It all deserves to be heard. Slowly, allow yourself to listen. Hear the river babble nearby. Listen to the birds above chatter. Allow the leaves stirred at the wind's caress to settle your mind. Then, you'll feel it. This is the harmony of the world. We're often so focused on one specific thing that we miss how much more there is. The Riverclan of old referred to this as the True World, or the world Starclan sees. Can you feel it?" Snakepaw asked.
Leopardfur gave a small nod, the smile still visible on her muzzle. Thus, Snakepaw decided it was time to go further. He rarely got to teach this, but it was his way to confront his problems. "Now, this is where it really gets difficult. Allow yourself to sink back into the silence. We're going to confront your problems. Once you've reached the silence, take a moment to embrace it before allowing one of your problematic thoughts to enter. I cannot stress this enough. Only allow one. Let yourself think on just that one problem. For example, one that near every cat has had to confront at least once in their life. 'What if I'm not good enough?' So many are plagued by this question, letting themselves spiral into fear and irrationality. They forget the most common answer. When you are not enough, there are others who will support you, will help you become enough. If you become leader of Riverclan, who will lift you back up when you fall. Who will make you enough?" I asked, letting her confront her problems at her own pace. I saw a brief scowl on her face as she struggled with her inner problems, but eventually it settled down into a calm neutral. We remained on the outcrop for a while more before Leopardfur opened her eyes, signaling that it was time to stop.
"I didn't figure everything out, but I feel better." Leopardfur mewed.
"It takes time to get used to meditating and confronting your inner problems. It was a saying among the Riverclan of old that the strongest of us were not the ones who'd won the most battles, but rather the ones who'd beaten their own inner problems. Those who managed it were called star souls since they were the closest thing to being like Starclan. It was hard to gain and often easy to lose. Regardless, it is an important skill to learn when one is constantly exposed to stress. I hope meditating helps you going forward." Snakepaw replied, stretching himself out.
Snakepaw looked skyward, suddenly noticing that it was far later than he'd planned to be out here. "Oh no! Mudfur's going to kill me! I was supposed to be back by now to help him sort the herbs!" Snakepaw panickily mewed before bolting off in hopes that Mudfur wouldn't be too mad at him. Leopardfur could only shake her head. "That apprentice… One moment, he's like a wise elder, guiding and teaching. The next, he's just another kittish apprentice trying to keep out of trouble. I'll never understand him." She mewed to herself. She appreciated his lesson, planning to meditate when the stress got to be too much again. In a strange way, Leopardfur was glad that Crookedstar forced her to interact with the apprentice. It was just awarding as it was amusing.