Aether had second thoughts about this when Ganyu strapped him into a harness.
This dream brought him to an office. He sat at a square table across from Ganyu. The grand secretary handed him a pen and a contract.
"This is a non-disclosure agreement," she explained. "You sign here, and you're obligated to keep all our conduct within the dreamscape confidential."
"I'd keep it secret even without this," he said.
"I know, but could you please sign anyway? It would give me peace of mind."
He smiled indulgently. Ganyu really was something else. Aether gave the document a quick read. Seeing nothing he disagreed with, he signed. She gave him his own copy and filed away hers into a manilla envelope.
"Aether," she said. "I've been a little stressed lately. Is it okay if I…take charge?"
"My safe word is cocogoat."
Ganyu snapped her fingers. The office shattered like glass, dissolving into the white void of the dreamscape. They both hung about in the vast, eternal space for a moment. Ganyu snapped again. The space around them swirled and morphed, becoming more compact. Wooden walls surrounded them. He smelled hay.
Animal pens sprung up around them. Bays of straw lay strewn about the pens.
This was new.
Ganyu pointed at him. His clothes exploded. He was jerked up. Cuffs clasped his wrists and ankles, suspending him in midair. His penis hung towards the ground.
The grand secretary picked up a bucket and placed it beneath his cock. Ganyu sat on a stool. She reached out and grabbed hold of his shaft.
"Time for your milking," she said.
Her slicked-up hand made a twisting motion along his cock. Her other hand took his testicles and lathered them up with lube. She leaned forward and licked the head. Her tongue caressed the urethra and licked along the underside of the head. Between licks, she peppered kisses along his cock and long, drawn-out strokes on his shaft.
"You taste good," she said. "I'm sure you'll give me a healthy load of milk, won't you?"
"G-Ganyu…"
"Call me Farmer Ganyu, you cow," she snapped.
"Farmer Ganyu," he corrected himself. "I'll do my best."
She picked up the pace. Testicles were squeezed and fondled. Then, Ganyu opened her mouth and imbibed his balls. Her tongue lovingly tasted the left and right, dribbling her hot spit across the skin. She let out the lewdest, slurpy sounds imaginable. Meanwhile, both hands stroked the shaft. She squeezed tighter and he winced.
"Ganyu, I'm going to—!"
Her teeth bit down, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to push him over the edge. He came, releasing a white thread into the bucket. Ganyu twisted the shaft roughly. He orgasmed a second time.
He panted, riding the high.
Thwack! His ass cheek stung red. Thwack! The pain doubled.
"Bad cow," Ganyu said. "You call me Farmer Ganyu!"
She slapped a final time causing him to whimper.
Ganyu crossed over to the table. There, she put on a latex glove. As the elastic slapped down into place, Aether gulped. She dipped her fingertips into the lube. With a borderline sadistic grin, she rounded on him.
"Now," she said with a chuckle. "Let's get a closer look at your cow butt."
She spread apart his cheeks and slipped her finger inside. Then, she slipped in a second and third finger, and Ganyu said, "How would you like to take my whole fist, cow?"
"W-wait!"
He screamed as she drove in all five fingers and then pushed in all the way to her wrist.
"Not bad," she said. "I think you'll be ready for my strap-on."
"S-strap-on?"
"Yes. Both of them!"
Aether looked up and saw a second Ganyu wearing a long shaft. Then a third Ganyu came along with a jar of mayonnaise. Another held some bananas and a riding crop.
At last, a Ganyu pushed along a garish-looking machine on wheels. It was a metal cylinder with tubes sticking out. An army of Ganyus rolled out identical machines and formed a line that stretched on for miles. The first Ganyu affixed the tube to his penis and flipped on the switch.
Arlecchino had been sorting through some late-night paperwork, thinking of Aether, when her doors flew open, and two women marched inside. Rosaria slammed her fists on the table and said, "I'm sorry, but we need the memory-wiping flame again. Mona … saw something with her astrology."
Arlecchino sighed.
"Rosaria, Mona," she said patiently, "I can't keep erasing your memories whenever you happen to see one of our friends having odd sex with Aether."
Mona grabbed Arlecchino by the coat. With strength unbecoming of the astrologist, Mona hoisted the knave off the ground. Her eyes were deranged, barely clinging to sanity.
"Listen, you Goth Eula rip-off," she snarled. "I've seen some crap like you wouldn't believe! I've lived the whole Archon War through Ei, your horrible upbringing in the House, and Collei's life of being a test subject for a mad scientist. None of it—none of it!—compares to what I've seen Ganyu doing to Aether! Now wipe our memories or I'll use my astrology to make sure you see it every waking moment for the rest of your life!"
In all her life, only four people made Arlecchino truly afraid: her 'Mother," President Tubby, the Raiden Ei, and Yae Miko. None of them ever made her cry. Now, Arlecchino shivered and sniffled in pure dread.
"O-okay, just please don't hurt me…"
One hundred machines full of his semen and countless cream pies later, Ganyu snapped her fingers. The clones vanished. The straps slowly lowered him to the floor where he lay in a heap. She'd wrung him out almost entirely—which he didn't think was even possible.
She laid down beside him, resting her head on his chest.
"Thanks, Aether," she said contentedly. "I really needed this."
"Glad I could help," he managed between gasps. "Geez, what got you so stressed that you wanted to do all this?"
She pressed her index fingers together in this adorably fretful little way.
"W-well, work is always busy. Liyue's been doing well this year, which means there are many more balancing sheets to be filled. I've pulled four all-nighters this week alone."
He kissed her forehead. "Ganyu, don't overwork yourself."
"I can handle the work," she said. "But I've been thinking about other things too."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Ganyu stared at her tummy. "Aether? Do you still think I'm pretty?"
"I wouldn't make love to you if I didn't," he said. Clasping her hands, Aether brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them. "From the moment I saw you, I knew two things. First, you are a beautiful woman. And second, I'd always think about you."
She blushed. "Really?"
"Yeah." Aether brushed a lock of blue hair from her face, cupping her soft cheek.
"Sometimes," she said, "I worry that I'm getting plump."
"Well, making love and kissing is a great way to burn calories."
"I'm serious," she said.
"So am I!"
"Okay, well, what if…" she swallowed, "what if, hypothetically, I get fat from pregnancy?"
"I'd love you just the same. Maybe even more! After all, your breasts will get even bigger!"
"Aether," she laughed in mock annoyance.
She hit him gently, pretending to be upset. He caught her wrist. Snaking a hand around her waist, he drew her closer and kissed her. They rolled around in the hay, play-wrestling as they made out until she ended up on top.
Ganyu rested her palms on his bare chest. Her wondrous body atop his, soft and smooth, radiated. Their thighs intertwined and their sexes grinded against each other. He lovingly worshiped her breasts by fondling them. Ganyu purred in approval as he stroked the engorged pink areolas. Every movement made them sway. Violet eyes drew him ever deeper under her spell.
"Aether," she giggled. "Thank you. Well, I guess it's only fair if you milk me too. But you'll have to sign another NDA."
"I can do that," he said.
So, they signed the paperwork. Ganyu hooked herself up to the bondage straps which dangled her above the floor. Then, he seized her boobs. The rest of the night was spent blissfully in that stable, milking one another dry until countless barrels with white goop lined the dreamscape.
Mona didn't remember falling asleep. Actually, she couldn't remember anything after 1:30 AM last night. She'd been working on an article for the column. When she finished, she thought she'd check on Aether before going to sleep, and then…
Blank.
She rolled out of her bed with a slight migraine. As she blinked awake, Mona discovered something odd: a note had been taped to her nightgown. She took it off and read.
Hello, Future Mona. You got your memories wiped again. Please, for the love of Barbatos, never use your astrology to check in on Aether after 2 am. I can't look at a dreamscape date like that ever again!
Love,
Past Mona