On a nice warm morning for a day in February, Sonic and his friends were hanging outside in Tails' backyard. On a lounge chair was Sonic playing a tournament fighting game on his Steam Deck and munching on a hearty chili dog with Fritos. As usual, Big the Cat fished at the river for fun. Knuckles broke many ancient cinderblocks with haymakers. Amy and Cream had a tea party with Cheese and the other Chao. As for Tails, he exited his house with the greatest news.
"Guys! Guys! You will never believe what just happened!"
"Eggman finally trimmed his mustache?" Sonic jokingly asked.
"Even better!" Tails said as he opened his golden laptop, "We are breaking records for ticket preorders—137.2 million sold at this time! That is more people showing up compared to the last Super Bowl Halftime Show!"
"I doubt it," Knuckles disagreed.
Tails' enthusiasm plummeted and spoke to the red brawny echidna, "Knuckles, please do not be a party pooper."
"I am not," Knuckles asserted, "I am just bringing up a possibility that a small group of people would buy tickets in bulk and resell them at extreme markups—let's say going from $100 to $500 a ticket."
"We have laws that prevent those illicit practices, Knuckles," Amy stated.
"Yes, but those laws only apply to our local jurisdiction," Knuckles said, "Outside, there are tech-savvy individuals who know how to get around those laws."
"How can you be so sure?" Amy asked with her hands on her hips.
"I may not be Tails, but I looked at the view count for each channel that posted or reposted our ads right here on my phone." Knuckles then reported the numbers, "984 thousand from our official channel, 69 thousand from IGN—"
Sonic and Tails stared at each other and snickered.
A stubborn Knuckles shook his head. He continued, "208 thousand from PlayStation and 28 thousand from Xbox."
Everyone except Big looked at each other. Sonic then asked, "So, Knuckles, what if those numbers aren't satisfactory?"
"What?"
Cream claimed, "There is a legitimate explanation why those view counts are so low: recently, we have been seeing more people going outside and connecting with each other because they believed that social media ironically made them feel disconnected."
"Is that why you were pressuring us to erect advertisements around our land, in the form of billboards?" Knuckles asked.
"You all need to read the room! People working for big-name publications have been resigning en masse because their ideas became no longer compatible with what the higher-ups 'wanted.' It is the same case for big-name social media platforms."
"What ideas do you think they 'want' now?" Tails asked.
"I would list everything, but we would be here all night. Instead, we should use our energy putting up flyers, posters, billboards, advertisements on LOCAL papers—yes, including school papers, and commercials on LOCAL television channels and oligarch-proof social platforms," Cream persuaded, "The Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser's Castle, and other surrounding countries have been doing it well, so why can't we?"
Tails agreed, "Cream's made a good point—ever since they started Mario Kart in 1992, their GDPs increased to—when added together—85.4 billion dollars."
A confused Cream asked, "What is a GDP, Tails?"
"Never mind that," Tails said, "Anyway, let's work on our advertising!"
Tails and his posse ran inside his house as Big finally caught a bass from the river. He looked around to find no one was around him anymore. Before he could walk into Tails' house, Froggy hopped at Big's right and the latter gave chase down the riverbank.