A/N: Hi all - I'm still alive! I've been sitting on quite a few stories. I've been getting your comments on IC over the years and I still read every single one. That's what made me post this.
Also here's me... attempting present tense because I think it will force me rein in my tendency to overexplain.
Thanks to TipsyRaconteur for her beta work on this a long time ago!
It… it wasn't supposed to be like this.
Kakashi gazes off into the distance, his eyes cold and dry from failing to blink.
"What the hell do you mean she was pregnant?" Tsunade bellows, her fists slamming onto the creaking wood, threatening to snap the table in half like a frail twig.
Naruto… Hinata…
Kakashi's eyes only see the ceiling, but his mind sees a memory of Hinata in white, smiling beside her new grinning husband.
The pathologist maintains her stature under Tsunade's aggressive scrutiny. Her shoulders remain square, her chin leveled against the Hokage's seething glare. "I ran the blood tests twice, Hokage-sama. Uzumaki Hinata was approximately 7 to 8 weeks pregnant. I confirmed the pregnancy during the autopsy. Fetal size is approximately half an inch."
Tsunade scoffs in disbelief and pushes herself away from the table. She paces back and forth as her fingers comb through her bangs, then speaks to no one in particular. "Find the fucking nurse that performed her pre-mission medical examination. She shouldn't have even been on the field. Pregnancy is part of a kunoichi's routine check-up. There's no way the standard blood reports missed this!" Not even five seconds later, Tsunade turns to Shizune who stands patiently beside the door and growls, "Find the nurse. Now."
One could all but feel the fear rising in Shizune. Her eyes widen as if startled by the directed aggression and she scurries out, the pathologist following closely behind her.
Kakashi's vision turns red. He imagines that Hinata's arms are crossed over her abdomen, holding herself with trembling hands as the white bridal kimono becomes stained by a feathering crimson. He hears the blood-curdling howl that tore out of Naruto's throat replaying in his mind over and over again. His chest winds unbearably tight.
"That's all very well," the Daimyō grumbles. At first, his eyes are closed and his hand rests on his ceramic cup of tea. "But you must remember, Tsunade, that we are not here because Uzumaki Hinata was killed in action. We are here because Hatake's failure to execute a team strategy as leader resulted in the biggest loss of village assets ever known in the history of Konohagakure."
The words "Hatake's failure" and "village assets" ring in his ears.
Beside him, the elderly council members Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane nod their heads in agreement. Homura hums deeply as if he is troubled by the limited options at hand.
"Elders, I would ask that you please be reasonable" Tsunade pleads. Her body turns towards them and her eyebrows curl upwards. Her arms loosen as if she intends to raise them in their direction.
"Tsunade," Koharu scolds, face twisting into a scowl. "Is it not true that we have lost the ninetails jinchuuriki?"
"Yes, but–"
The vision of Hinata fades from his mind. Naruto takes her place. He is curled over on the floor, screaming in anguish, clawing at his own head while his body thrashes. The scarlet chakra cloak seeps out all over him. It is bubbling as though it were boiling water over a fire. His pupils violently dilate between a furious red and a soulless black.
"Is it not true that in the past week, Uzumaki Naruto has not only destroyed the northern gate, harmed 14 civilians, killed 2 jonin guards, but has personally blown through the ancient sand gate of Sunagakure, instantly obliterating at least 25 of Suna's village defense and severely injuring the Kazekage with his Tailed Beast Bomb?"
"Naruto is not himself!" Tsunade yells, clearly losing patience with Koharu. This time, when her fists hit the table, it cracks upon impact.
The commotion breaks Kakashi from his spell. He blinks as if registering for the first time the direction this conversation had been heading towards. He turns his head to stare at the spectacle unfolding before him–to see Tsunade huffing as she stands in what seems to be a battle stance, baring her teeth towards her opponents. He sees Koharu and Homura sitting calmly beside the Daimyō, unaffected by her regular outbursts. The only indication of their emotional investment in the argument is the sweat upon their creased brows.
"Yes," Koharu agrees definitively. Her earrings sway and catch the light as she projects her voice. "And he is not himself because he has lost control of the Kyūbi."
"No." Tsunade rejects the information because it is likely that she knows that Koharu will spin it in an unfavorable way.
"And because Uzumaki Naruto has lost control of the Kyūbi, he has also lost control of all bijū."
"But that's not Kakashi's fault–"
"Enough!" the Daimyō shouts, but his attempt to silence Tsunade is futile. She protests, but the powerful voice of the Daimyō persists above her clamoring. "Hatake Kakashi's faulty leadership has put not only this entire village at risk, but has placed all of the allied nations in danger. Earlier today, the Rokubi wiped out an entire fishing village, and the Sanbi destroyed one of the main harbors in Kirigakure. There were many casualties. Their hospitals are overflowing."
The news finally brings Tsunade to a pause. Kakashi hears the name Sanbi and his hands begin to tremble.
Around the table, he can see the troubled faces of his remaining team mates, Shino, Kiba, and Akamaru. Sakura sits beside him. Her body is rigid. Without looking at her, he can tell that she is clenching her jaw, grinding her teeth together in an attempt to rein in her own Tsunade-like rage.
The magnitude of Naruto's influence has–or had–in this era of peace is hauntingly visible, and the loss of a living person has never felt so real.
Homura pushes up his glasses with two fingers and clears his throat before speaking. "Tsunade, I know you are upset. You have lost two high-ranking jonin, one of them a boy that you held with affection in your heart, and now, we threaten to take Hatake away from you, the man you hand selected to succeed you."
Tsunade scoffs in response and looks away.
"But the fact of the matter is that Hatake was the mission leader. If he had properly controlled his subordinate, she would still be alive. If she was alive, we wouldn't be in this international crisis."
Kakashi clenches his fists over his knees beneath the table in an attempt to stop his hands from shaking, but he doesn't dare close his eyes. Doing so would make the visions stronger. Instead, his unkempt fingernails dig into his palm while he memorizes the natural pattern of the wood.
"Hatake Kakashi," the Daimyō calls out calmly. Kakashi raises his eyes to meet the Daimyō. The man looks at him coldly. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
There is a moment of silence. Kakashi's mind spins out of control. There is a part of him that agrees with Tsunade, but there is an even larger part of him that agrees with the Fire Council.
It's his fault Hinata is dead.
It's his fault that Naruto has lost control.
It's his fault that the bijū are rampaging.
It's his fault that so many innocent people have been harmed or even killed.
Kakashi stares back at the Daimyō emotionlessly. He is too filled with confusion, fear, regret, sorrow, and anger. His heart and mind are paralyzed.
A warm hand surrounds his right fist over his lap. He looks to his right to find that it belongs to Sakura, who stares straight ahead in secret distress.
From his left, Tsunade pleads with him in desperation, "Kakashi, please."
But Kakashi can't say anything. He doesn't know what to say.
Nothing he says will bring Hinata back nor bring Naruto to his senses. Nothing he says will make the Fire Council change their mind.
"It's settled then," the Daimyō continues, urged on by Kakashi's silence. "I will give you this one grace, Hatake. Because you have served Konohagakure so honorably until now, I will allow you one night to pack up any belongings you see fit, but you must be gone by daybreak."
Sakura's hand tightens over his. Kakashi can't breathe.
"As of this moment, you are disowned by Konohagakure. You have no home here. If you are found within our territory, it will be considered as an act of war against our council and action will be taken against you." The Daimyō then turns to Tsunade with a scowl. "ANBU agents will be assigned to both you and Hatake to ensure that there is no contact between the two of you. You will not help him. None of you will. He will leave quietly, and no one is to speak of his departure until he is gone."
Tsunade begins to protest but is silenced by a single raised hand. The ANBU by the door leave their post and silently stand about-face behind Kakashi. He feels a set of fingers curl under his hitae-ate. The hand jerks it off of his forehead, and he hears the distinct clash of the kunai, the raw friction of metal against metal behind him.
Kakashi knows that he will never forget this sound.
For some reason, the precise moment in which the blade pierces Hinata's torso flashes before his eyes.
The ANBU reaches over his head, dangling the hitae-ate by the sash in front of him just before it drops. The metal makes a harsh clang against the wood. The slash across the leaf symbol makes it real.
"Hatake Kakashi," the Daimyō concludes resolutely. "You have been exiled."
A/N: ... please don't hate me.
This is one of them and it's meant to be a longer action-packed angsty fic. Not sure if I'll ever get to it, but maybe publishing it will inspire me to keep going. Either way, I think Ch. 1 can stand alone for now.