Reckless

Chapter 4

…Toni could hear noise from the street drifting through the open balcony doors. It sounded like there was a party going on below. The room was unfamiliar but somehow familiar at the same time, like her ex husband's DC highrise apartment and the hotel room she stayed in during a trip to New Orleans mixed together in her mind.

Lucid dreaming. That's what the department psychologist called it. Toni was often aware that she was inside a dream. Sometimes, she was able to control her actions. Or even wake herself up. Other times, she felt locked inside her nightmares, a spectator in her own body. On this particular occasion, she could tell right away that she had no control over what her dream self was doing.

Not only were her dreams lucid, they were often so vivid that Toni had a hard time shaking them off after she woke up. She could actually feel the fabric of her white nightgown brushing against her legs. The dark points of her nipples were visible through the sheer fabric. She ran her hands down over her hips, feeling the heat that was already pounding between her legs. The dark waves of her hair tumbled down over her shoulders, brushing against the bare skin of her back. Her hands were resting against the full curves of her hips. And then suddenly, they weren't her hands anymore.

His soft kiss teased her, made her want to beg for more. She sighed as she parted her lips. His fingers worked against her hips as he slowly gathered up the fabric of her sheer white gown. Once her skirt was lifted, he grasped the bunched up material and gently lifted the nightgown up and over her head. Toni felt her nipples pucker against the cool air. He cupped her breasts with his warm hands and kissed her. Toni leaned in for another kiss, but he stopped her. Lifting one hand off her breast, he snapped his fingers. Suddenly, they were no longer standing near the open balcony door. They were both naked on the bed together, the thick white blankets soft as clouds under their bodies.

"How did you do that?," Toni asked, smiling as he dipped his head down to kiss her.

Just before his lips touched hers, he paused. His breath fanned against her heated skin. "I told you," he whispered. "I'm a magician."

Toni gasped for breath as she woke. The soft pillow of blankets was gone. Instead, her bare legs were brushing against cheap overwashed economy motel sheets. The heat between her legs remained, her body pulsing with need. Toni shifted her body, slipping her hand under the waistband of her shorts. Her palm brushed against her swollen clit as she dipped the tip of her middle finger into her slicked opening. Once it was coated in her arousal, she moved it back up to her clit. When she dreamed about him, sometimes she could see his face. And sometimes she couldn't. But it didn't matter. She knew exactly who he was. The one night stand that broke her heart. Toni used to close her eyes and picture his face when her ex was going down on her. It was the one thing that was sure to make her come.

Toni could feel the muscles in her thighs tightening as she applied more pressure, rubbing her finger back and forth across her slicked clit. She moaned as the waves of her orgasm washed over her, sending little lightning bolts of pleasure shooting out from her core. Toni sighed as she relaxed back into her flattened hotel pillow. She allowed herself a moment of blissful relaxation before she rolled onto her side and reached for her phone.

When it came to catching escaped fugitives like Earl Roy Everton, everyone on Toni's team had a plan. But as usual, hers was the one that panned out. He'd been incarcerated for over a decade. His family was either dead or wanted nothing to do with him. He had no friends. And unlike some of the other escapees, he had no financial resources. Toni knew he'd go back to the one person he believed he could trust.

According to her file, Carla Jean Birch was only a teenager when Everton killed her family and held her hostage as he murdered his way across the southwestern United States. But Toni didn't believe that version of the events. Carla refused to testify against Everton at his trial, even though that meant that she was held accountable for some of what transpired. And she'd been writing him letters in prison ever since. Carla Birch was never a victim. She was an accomplice. Toni suspected that she had more of an active role in the murder of her parents that Everton let on. She knew from the moment she read Everton's file that Carla would end up being his demise.

Toni's section chief was well aware that her brothers ran a bail bonds business in Texas. So when she suddenly had sensitive information and no explanation of where she got it, he was smart enough not to ask any questions. Her brothers were on the right side of the law. But given the nature of their business, they had connections to all sorts of less than model citizens. One of those connections was to an infamous coyote that worked the Texas border into Mexico. Sneaking people into America for a profit was one thing. Law enforcement tended to look the other way. But procuring identity papers and sneaking a mass murderer off the FBI's top ten most wanted list out was something else. No one wanted to bring the kind of heat that would bring. So when Carla Birch started shopping for a new identity, Toni got a call from her oldest brother.

Toni followed Carla Birch's movements carefully. There were a few times that she was tempted to simply bring the woman in and sweat her for Everton's whereabouts. Especially after that elderly couple was robbed and killed. But Toni knew it wouldn't do any good. Carla would die before she turned him in. Toni was playing the long game. And when won it was going to be with not only Everton in handcuffs, but his psychotic girlfriend as well.

Toni put her all into every case. But this one was particularly important to her. Not just because Everton was a danger to every man woman and child that crossed his path, but because she knew the eyes of the BAU section chief were on her. Toni submitted her file to the BAU a few years ago, when she was still married to her ex. But the section chief chose kiddie porn Kate over her. Toni could still hear her ex laughing when she told him she was declined for the position. The BAU had taken on several new agents since then, but Toni was too scared and ashamed to submit her file again.

This time was different. Aaron Hotchner came to her. He showed up with the ruse that he was helping to oversee her manhunt for the missing fugitives. But Toni could tell right away that he was feeling her out, trying to see if she might still be interested in joining his team. Toni was practically salivating at the idea. That was, until she saw the man she'd been dreaming about for the last six years get out of the car behind him and start walking towards her.

This cannot be happening, Toni thought. She blinked her eyes, sure that she was seeing things. Maybe she was still back in her shitty economy lodge motel room, only this time he was part of her nightmare instead of her wet dream. Toni could feel her heart racing. And she wondered how in the fuck just the mere sight this man was able to send her into a full fledged panic when she could face down an armed gunman without breaking a sweat.

Toni focused on her breathing, keeping it slow and even. She tried to concentrate on what she was telling the BAU section chief about plan to capture Earl Everton. Her plan was solid. Carla Birch already gave her five hundred dollars in cash. There was no way she wasn't showing up to the meet. And Everton would be with her. Because Carla believed that Toni was sneaking them both out of the country tonight.

Tingles ran up Toni's arm when he grabbed her hand. His eyes met hers and for a moment, Toni forgot they were surrounded by other agents. She wasn't able to breathe until his colleague stepped forward and introduced them. Toni's eyes widened when she heard his name. The man she slept with was Dr. Spencer Reid, the department's resident genius. She'd obviously never met him. He didn't participate in department organized social events. But she'd heard plenty. Wild rumors about him were always swirling around. At least now Toni could confirm that the one about him being a closeted homosexual clearly wasn't true.

Toni had to get away from him. She needed a moment to get her emotions under control before she made an ass out of herself in front of her entire team and Aaron Hotchner. Needing a drink of water was the best excuse she could come up with at the moment. Once she made it, she forced herself not to run towards the waiting car. Toni could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. Her heart was racing. Her stomach felt like she'd just dropped ten stories in a fallen elevator. And her head was spinning with carnal images, some from her dreams and some pulled directly from memory. As Toni pulled the passenger door of the government-issued SUV open, she realized that Spencer Reid was behind her.

"Why would you follow me over here?," Toni asked. "Are you crazy?" She glanced back at the other agents. "Everyone is looking at us."

"I don't care who's looking," he declared. The intensity in his eyes was making her nipples hard. But Toni was also confused by it. This was not how she would expect a man to look at her after he left her sitting at a bar waiting for him to show up. She sat at that table all night with a painful hole growing in the center of her chest. The bartender had to ask her to leave so he could close up for the night. Seeing him again was like ripping the scab off a wound that never really healed. The pain was crippling. And with it came the anger she used to cope with it.

"That's easy for you to say," Toni hissed. "If my team finds out I've been fucking my way through the bureau, my career is over." It was bad enough when everyone found out she slept with Luke Alvez. People let that go because it happened after Alvez was attacked by Daniel James Cullen, better known as the Crimson King. Toni was also freshly separated from her husband at the time, so people seemed to be willing to give her a little grace. But she wouldn't be that lucky a second time. If people found out she slept with Dr. Spencer Reid, she'd never hear the end of it.

"I'm sorry," Spencer told her. He moved towards her, but Toni was quick to back away. Her back pressed against the side of the SUV. Spencer looked so hurt by her rebuff that Toni had to fight back the urge to wrap her arms around him. But she knew that if she touched him again, the little bit of control she had over herself would be gone in an instant. "It's just… I've been looking for you for six years. Do you know how many Antoinettes and Antonias and Tonias live in the greater Washington DC area? Six thousand four hundred and thirty nine."

"If you were that worried about finding me, why didn't you just show up to meet me?," Toni asked. The words escaped her before she could stop herself from uttering them. But she caught herself immediately. She put her hand up, stopping him before he could answer. "Actually no," she corrected. "I am not doing this right now."

Toni turned and opened the passenger door of the SUV, pulling two bottles of water out of the cooler. She handed one to Spencer before she opened her bottle and took a few hard chugs.

"Right now, we have a fugitive to catch," Toni said. "Once Earl Everton is in cuffs, we'll talk about whatever this is." Toni cast another glance at the group of other agents before she added, "Privately."