A/N: "I'd like to make next chapter extra long, if I have time." Promptly adds 3 activities to weekly routine.

Yeah, that didn't end up happening. On the plus side, I know CPR now.

Enjoy.

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Obito

Zetsu's new friends were indeed very pleasant. The chattier one, Sakumo, spoke with Konan as if she was an old friend. Konan replied in kind. From their conversation, Obito gathered that Sakumo had once been the sole leader. Then some kind of big fight erupted, revealing a rift in the clan. Chiki was officially granted equal status as a way of healing that rift. No further conflicts had been had since then. Every Hatake liked that. It sounded like they were a conflict-averse people who just wanted to lie in the sunshine and play sports and spend time together in peace.

Sakumo ended his line of conversation and turned to Obito. "Is there anything you'd like to ask?"

"Um… No."

"If you don't want to speak, that's alright. I just didn't want to ignore you."

Obito shook his head. "Thank you, but I really don't have any questions. I only just met you, after all."

Sakumo laughed. "I get it!" He asked Konan for more details about the upcoming fight. After confirming what she could, she asked if his group held training fights of their own. He said there had been some speculation, but no solid intentions just yet. It seemed that their group had no originals, and thus no idea how to train ninja skills, which meant they didn't do any training. There were several groups of people who were theoretically ninjas, but only Konan's group actually acted like it.

Obito remembered how he had defended Zetsu from Original Hidan's attack. Do I want to learn to fight? While other people talked, he pondered in peace. I don't want to rely on Zetsu for everything. I want to be able to help them back. I don't want to be nothing more than a burden.

Sakumo sighed. "As far as I can tell, there's only one obstacle holding us back: our lack of enemies. Your group has been in several tense situations where they needed to fight. We haven't. Battling for entertainment is fun, but fun is not enough."

"I understand," Konan said sadly. "I do not wish enemies upon you, and yet… There are certain capacities of the soul that can only be revealed in combat."

Capacities… Obito had spent his entire life fearing his own inner world. His whole internal life - feelings, beliefs, alters, all of it - had never been appreciated before. People didn't like to see those things. Zetsu liked to see some of them, so Obito had learned to share opinions and make judgments, but he had never looked very deeply inside. Yahiko was the first person to love that inner world. The more she saw, the more she loved, and so Obito felt curious about himself for the first time. A mental image of Yahiko's female form prompted him to say, "Konan… Um… How many battles…can there be?"

"It appears that the ideal maximum of training battles that can be held at once is two," Konan replied.

"So there could be another one? After Sasori and Original Hidan fight?"

"Yes. Do you have a suggestion?"

"Well… Original Hidan attacked Zetsu, and I stopped him…"

"You would like a chance to test your skills?" Konan asked with a smile. "Alright. We shall find you a suitable opponent. Perhaps Clone Hidan - he is immortal, so you could try anything without fear of hurting him. He also heals quickly and is not bothered by pain."

"Okay." Obito's heart pounded. But what if something goes wrong? What if I freeze up, or one of the others comes out, or… He felt an urge to tell Konan to forget it, he'd changed his mind. To resist this urge, he called up the mental image of Yahiko in female form. I hope Rin doesn't mind…

Konan and Sakumo discussed the possibility of changing locations between battles. Would the demon boy approve the use of his grounds in the first place? She promised to have Kisame text as soon as they knew.

"As soon as you know what?"

Kakuzu, Zetsu and the two originals had returned. "Have you asked the demon boy for permission to fight on his grounds?" Konan asked.

"Yes. He said something about setting up protections, but was far too overcome with excitement for me to make out his exact words. I didn't expect any protests; that kid loves our training battles."

"Excellent," Konan replied. "While you were away, we considered a possible second battle."

Kakuzu chuckled. "While we were away, we decided on a definite second battle."

Konan frowned. "Who do you wish to involve?"

"Madara versus Clone Yahiko."

Silence swooped in and picked them up in its talons. Sakumo made several different facial expressions. Chiki shook his head. Obito gulped, fighting the urge to hide behind someone else. "A disastrous matchup," Konan murmured.

Kakuzu's eyes gleamed. "The good kind, though. We love this kind of disaster."

"Assuming Obito agrees," Original Nagato said.

They all turned to face him. Obito shivered. "W-why?" he squeaked.

"It's better to get conflicts out in the open than wait for them to erupt," Kakuzu replied. "Besides, we want to know what that bastard's capable of."

"Yahiko…"

"Is certain that the dolls have healing magic. I did not tell him why I was asking; I can still pass it off as idle curiosity, if you insist."

What would Yahiko say? Obito was terrified at the thought of this battle. But Yahiko was never terrified. Yahiko would not back down if offered this challenge. "...Well, if the dolls have healing magic…"

"Is that a yes?" White Zetsu asked in a very quiet voice.

I'm sorry, Zetsu. Obito gulped again. "Yes."

Clone Yahiko

When Yahiko was told of Kakuzu's true plans, his immediate reaction was anything but brave. Battling Madara?! I can battle him soul to soul, heart to heart, but he'll kill me if I fight him fist to fist! He covered himself with a smile. "I'd better start training for that right away! It could get intense."

"We'll give the dolls secret orders to barge in and rescue you if you're about to die," Kakuzu promised.

He then left the room, and not a moment too soon. Nagato's fists clenched. "This is a horrible idea," he said.

Yahiko shook his head. Inside, he continued to panic. Outside, he radiated Buddha-like tranquility. "No, Madara prefers to hide in the shadows. Nothing except an opportunity to fight me could possibly lure him into the open. This is the only way we'll ever be able to get a good look at him."

"It'll also make him a hundred times more dangerous than usual," Nagato retorted. "Don't tell me you've gone back to being stupidly self-sacrificing after Konan beat it out of you twice."

Yahiko flinched backward. "Why are you so angry? Is it because of what we were just talking about?"

Nagato paused to take a deep breath. He let it out in an aggravated sigh. "Maybe," he admitted. "Your insane willingness to do this seems like proof that…"

Yahiko blushed. "I worry that Madara might… They share a body and a mind, after all. He could hurt Obito. If he doesn't have any other options. If that's his only way to hurt me. I'd rather face him directly in order to keep Obito safe."

"In other words…"

"I don't know. Like you said, I've been very self-sacrificing before. It's not a sure sign that I like Obito that way."

Nagato shook his head. "Your actions, words and seemingly thoughts are getting drawn into a spiral centered on him. I've only ever seen you spiral around yourself. You've never been so obsessed before about another person."

Yahiko rubbed his hair. "You're jealous?"

Nagato winced in pain. "Yeah," he forced out.

"Can't you be happy for me? I never wanted to be so self-centered. Moving that focus onto someone else who really needs the attention and won't abuse it is a good thing, right?"

"I…guess…" Nagato hung his head with a sigh. "I've got a long way to go. I can't move past my own pain that easily."

I never wanted to hurt him. Yahiko swallowed. In little more than a whisper, he said, "I care about you."

"I know. And I care about you." Nagato raised his head. His ringed eyes were bright with unshed tears. "If the best thing I can do for you is help you find love with someone else…"

"Don't do that just because you think you should," Yahiko pleaded. "Do it because you actually want to."

"It really, really bothers me that getting close to Obito means putting yourself in harm's way."

"Yeah, well, Obito didn't choose to stand directly in the middle of Danger Alley. He's the most in harm's way of anyone and he can't leave. That's not his fault, and I'm not going to become the latest in a long string of people to abandon him because of it."

"I don't want you to die."

"Breaking his heart would 100% guaranteedly kill me. Madara has only, like, an 80% chance of killing me. I have better odds on the battlefield."

Nagato buried his face in his hands. "You definitely feel something more than friendship for him."

"Are you going to help me or not?"

They both decided silently that this was a good time for a break. They got off the bed on opposite sides and paced around Nagato's room, looking at each other as little as possible. Yahiko wondered if he was being cruel by forcing such an ultimatum on Nagato. By trying to be good to Obito, am I abandoning him? No, that can't be true! Friendship isn't exclusive. I don't have to abandon one in order to make another. I can have both. Can't I?

"I'm being petty, aren't I?" Nagato asked. "What does it matter why or how you care for him? I care for you, and that means I'll help you. It doesn't matter what you need help with."

"Don't do anything just because you think you should."

Nagato laughed sadly. "Even with all of Hidan's help, I still can't always tell the difference between what I should want and what I actually want. Right now, the internal compass he tells me I have is invisible or lost. I've never had a reliable inner compass. That's why -"

Why he needs me.

Yahiko went up behind Nagato and gave him a hug. "Nagato… Here's something that's worked for me. If you can't find your way when your mind is at full strength, try catching it when it's weak. When you're drifting off to sleep, or just woken up, or something like that. Your heart might speak up then."

Nagato leaned back, into his arms. "Okay."

They stayed like that for a time, resting against each other. Yahiko was slightly afraid to let go for fear that Nagato might fall apart again. Out of concern, he held his best friend together and upright. Nagato was the one to end it. He pulled free, then wrapped his own arms around himself and said, "I shouldn't let that go on. I know you don't mean it the way I take it."

I wish I could understand what he's feeling! Yahiko moved the conversation onto a different, less painful track. "So, um. Now that we're in agreement. Would you like to help me train for this fight? I need to learn evasive maneuvers."

"Let's get Itachi," Nagato replied. "I can be your practice opponent, and he can advise us both on how the Sharingan will affect things."

Whew! If I can handle a conversation like this, I can handle Madara. "Sounds like a plan."

Itachi

Itachi was already busy dealing with a separate disaster. He raced to think of possible solutions while Kakuzu reamed out Original Hidan for breaking into a vampire's house, Clone Hidan kept the dolls from damaging the stash of books, and Deidara read back cover blurbs to them. Konan and the originals soon took over, but there was little they could do. The damage had already been done. The dolls had not yet decided which story they wanted read to them next, but they would at any moment. Konan grabbed Clone Hidan and said they could both use their clone jutsus to help. Itachi, in his expert judgment, proclaimed that the ideal solution.

"Whoa, why is there so much activity up here?" Clone Yahiko asked. He and Clone Nagato stopped at the top of the stairs and looked around. Footsteps and distant speech could be heard.

"Original Hidan broke into a vampire's house to steal the rest of the Borowik series," Itachi explained. "He hid them in his room on this floor. The dolls must have detected something strange in his behavior and secretly followed him. I can't think of any other way they could have found the books."

Both clones winced. "I can't read to them," Yahiko said. "I'm going to be fighting on Wednesday. I need to train."

"Konan and our Hidan will be making extensive use of their clone jutsus," Itachi reassured.

"Is the situation pretty much under control?" Nagato asked. "We need your help."

"My help? With what?"

"His opponent is Madara. We need you to give advice on how to counter the Sharingan."

Itachi straightened. That can't be anything less than a major plot point. I have to take it very seriously. "I will help. Let's go up to the destroyed part of the road - much of my teachings will involve flying projectiles."

They found Zetsu and Obito there. Zetsu was showing Obito the former battlefield and describing events that had occurred there. They wanted him to be very, very careful what he agreed to. "Hey guys," Yahiko said, waving. "We're here to train. You know, in preparation."

"Should I do the same?" Obito asked. "I'm not sure if it would make a difference…"

Yahiko shrugged. "Some matchups we train for. Some we don't."

"Okay." Obito seemed to want to say something. His body language was equal parts desirous and restrained.

"Wanna talk? Alone?" Yahiko asked, pointing past the battlefield at the miniature stand of forest. Obito nodded.

White Zetsu started to say, "Obi -"

"Do not interrupt," Nagato told them. Yahiko turned and ran towards the miniature forest, but not before Itachi saw his cheeks redden. Obito followed at a fast walk. As Itachi watched them go, he remembered how little he knew. This planned battle between Yahiko and Madara is surely important, but how? Is the battle itself truly what matters, or the preparations they must make for it? I do not know what matters. I must be careful not to claim expertise.

"I was just going to say, 'Be careful,'" White Zetsu muttered.

"I know. That's why I stopped you," Nagato replied.

Or could it be that the preparations we must make are what matters?

Black Zetsu narrowed his eye. "What do you mean?"

Itachi stepped forward. "It may be best if you continue to stay with the Hatakes until the time of battle."

Both halves of Zetsu looked wounded. Itachi studied the ground. Nagato sighed. Unspoken words darted through the air, an argument conducted via aura.

"Don't think you've seen the last of us," Black Zetsu growled. They closed their flytrap leaves over their head and walked away.

Clone Yahiko

He and Obito threaded their way through the circle of plants. Many of the original plants had died, but the miniature forest still clung to life. "Zetsu would like the snake boy," Obito said.

"Yeah, they would." Yahiko brushed his hand against a young tree. The young tree had outlived all of its immediate neighbors. It had very good odds of surviving the year. "So, um. It seemed like you wanted to say something back there."

Obito ducked his head. His overall body language screamed Embarrassment. "I didn't know whether or not I wanted to say it."

"Oh. I'm sorry for dragging you away, then. You don't have to say it."

"No." Obito clenched a fist. "What it was, was… Thank you." He looked up, visibly gathering strength. "You said that Tobi was special because in just five minutes, you felt safe enough to show him what it took you months to show to anyone else. You are that same way to me. You're the only person who really wants to know all…this."

Yahiko's chest hurt. "Oh, gods, I hope that's not true."

Obito shrugged. "I'm used to it. I'm not upset about everyone else; I'm just really, really grateful for you."

Tears flooded Yahiko's eyes. "I'm grateful for you too."

Obito hesitated. "Do you think that Rin would mind if…"

Who is Rin? The name sounded vaguely familiar, like someone might have mentioned it once, but Yahiko could not remember. He guessed that Rin was someone from Obito's past. "Anyone who cares for you would want you to be grateful and have someone who was grateful for you. They'd want you to be happy."

"I don't want to forget her."

"Did she want you to be happy?"

"Yes."

"Then you are honoring her memory."

Obito looked down at the ground again, fidgeting. Yahiko fought the urge to do the same. Oh gods. I've nearly all but said it. Why here? Why now? Why not someplace more romantic, or at least more private? The others could not hear them, but could see them. Yahiko wondered how much Nagato had disclosed.

"I would like to talk more later," Obito murmured. "When nobody's waiting for us."

"Okay… Um… Do you like ice cream?"

"...Ice cream?"

"Yeah, I know a place. It's open until 8 on weekdays."

"...I like ice cream."

"Good. Because I do too. We can talk. And also have ice cream."

"Okay."

"I have a car. Well, technically Nagato does, but I can borrow the keys from him. So, so, like, it doesn't have to be a big thing with a whole big walk included. It can be just a ten minute drive."

"Okay."

I need to get out of here before I pass out. "See you around 7?"

"Mhm."

"Great! Training. I need to train." Yahiko laughed nervously before leading the way back. He tried to think only of the upcoming battle, thanking his lucky stars that it was going to be such a strenuous fight. A more minor battle would not have adequately justified his agitation. He made up a false topic for their conversation, too. But he didn't get an opportunity to use it. "Hey, where'd Zetsu go?"

"Back to the Hatakes," Itachi replied.

Obito asked, "Without saying goodbye?"

"It's complicated," Nagato said softly. Itachi agreed.

"They can't have gone too far," Yahiko said. "Catch up to them. Tell them about Borowik's adventures. They're your friends." Obito nodded. He ran towards the forest.

There was a big, awkward moment of silence. "I don't understand. Why would they leave?" Yahiko asked.

"We sort of drove them away," Nagato replied.

Itachi shook his head. "No, we do not bear sole responsibility. If he had not been interrupted, White Zetsu would have told Obito to be careful. About conversing with you. Does it seem as if cautious behavior in his interactions with you is desirable or possible?"

Yahiko felt as red as a tomato. "Definitely not either of those things."

"Of course not. Whatever Zetsu represents, that thing is not wanted. They simply aren't allowed to be onscreen right now." Itachi turned toward the stalagmites. "Now then. With them safely offscreen, we can return to the business that matters. Allow me to demonstrate the Sharingan's influence on throwing and dodging projectiles."

That can't be right. That doesn't make sense. Why would they exist if they weren't wanted? Something else must be going on, something that even Itachi can't foresee. But what?

Konan

Wrangling the dolls was hard work. Wrangling Hidan was even harder. He denied having done anything wrong, and genuinely believed it. Konan assigned Original Yahiko and Clone Hidan the task of talking sense into him. She and Original Nagato would both explode from frustration if they tried to do it. Has he not heard a word I said? I have told him that this is not the way to behave!

"It seems that death has not taught him responsibility," Nagato muttered.

"I do not know what can."

"Even you find it tiresome?"

"I have urged him to practice self-restraint. I do not appreciate being ignored."

"Indeed." They went to the kitchen to soothe away their shared irritation with sweet desserts. Fruit popsicles made excellent distractions.

Konan was surprised to find no messages from Soye on her phone. That was either a good sign or a very, very bad one. I will let 24 hours pass, then initiate contact. And ask my people to stay inside at night in the meantime. She told Nagato right away. He shook his head slowly. Yes, Hidan was troublesome.

When they had finished their popsicles, they resumed conversation. "Kakuzu should not have revealed that we want to see Madara's true abilities," Nagato said. "What if Madara refuses to participate?"

"I'll teach Obito some ways to make his battle entertaining for spectators and figure out alternate strategies for Madara afterward."

"You don't think it's likely."

"I do not."

"What of Sasori? Are the poisons he uses especially painful?"

Konan wrinkled her brow. "He does not use poison."

"Oh? But that was his original's specialty."

"His puppet may possess secret capabilities, but they are unlikely to be poisonous." Careful. I must not reveal exactly how far his abilities have diverged. "Poison is less useful in this world. It must be carefully formulated using exotic ingredients the same way as in our world. Why go to all that effort and expense when this world makes it so easy to deliver electric shocks?"

"That is true. Technological development cannot help but alter the very definition of puppet mastery. I look forward to seeing what changes have resulted."

"To answer your original question: I will instruct him to hold nothing back."

Nagato smiled. "The day of battle will be a good one."

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A/N: Next chapter: Big time skip. For sure. I'm getting bored again. Let's get to the epic battle already!

Rar.