Izuku walked into the classroom on Monday morning, excited to talk about his week. There wasn't much to the internship after the raid for Izuku, if he was being honest; simple weight training and playing capture the flag with Eraser, with the 'flag' being the goggles that hung around Eraser's neck. He never got the goggles, but he had come close a few times, so counted it as a win. The time to return to school came quickly, though, and the two found themselves returning to UA's campus on Sunday, to get Izuku settled back in his dormitory and for Aizawa to get some sleep before the new week came around. Izuku couldn't sleep, though. He had so much to put into practise in Foundational Heroics that he couldn't wait until the afternoon, and started to practise on the roof of his small home until he was tired enough for sleep to take him.
He was immediately jumped by Ochako, who got up in his face as she asked him about his week. He always loved to see her, but this was a bit much on a Monday morning, especially after the week he'd had. Izuku calmed Ochako down, and they both sat before continuing.
"How was your internship with Aizawa? Did you find out any secrets?" Ochako asked, her eyes burning with a sort of desire.
"Uh, no," Izuku said, almost laughing at how ironic it was that Ochako had brought up learning secrets during his internship. "I did learn to use my power in a new way that'll hopefully work for me pretty reliably, though," he added.
"Oh, really? How?" Ochako asked.
"I figured out that if, instead of forcing the power down into one part of me, I spread the power out across my whole body at a low percentage, it'll help with muscle soreness and limit the damage I can do to myself at any time. I also trained my other powers, and actually managed to discover a new one. I'm calling it Danger Sense at the moment, and it's sort of passive. It lets me sense danger to myself and others around me, so hopefully I'll be able to be an even better Hero due to this new power," Izuku ranted, animatedly retelling his entire week to Ochako, who just watched with a huge grin on her face.
"That's great! I learned a lot, too. Death Arms was a really good teacher, and he was always respectful. I think I'll go back to him if I can," Ochako said.
"Nice. I don't think I'd go back to Aizawa again, even though I learned a lot. I feel like a wider variety of teaching styles will really benefit me. I think that, even though my Quirk is powerful, it's versatility, as well as my own, is my real strength. I want to be able to respond to any situation, and variation in training is the best way to cultivate that," Izuku said.
Over the next few minutes, Izuku and Ochako shared stories about their training, some funny and some embarrassing. Ochako's stories are more embarrassing, since she had to start from the ground up with regards to her fighting ability. Izuku never made fun of her, though, and always made sure he was on the right side of the laughter. He had found that there was always a fine line between laughing with people and laughing at them, a line which he sometimes felt himself cross without meaning to.
"So, did you manage to work out what other combinations of Grav-Pads do?" Izuku asked.
"It's the same on both hands. I can use both for different effects at the same time, though, so I can manipulate the same object in two different ways at once!" Ochako said.
"That's awesome! It'll just make you that much more effective in combat and rescue," Izuku said, smiling brightly.
"Ah, thanks! I'll never really be able to match you, or Bakugo, or Todoroki, but I think I could be a really well rounded fighter if I gave it my all!" Ochako said, blushing lightly.
With about ten minutes left until class began, Shinso walked through the door. Izuku immediately locked eyes with him, and the two nodded to each other, knowing what they had been through together. Izuku wondered if he should talk to Shinso about what had happened when they had faced off against the Nomu that had appeared during the raid, with him freezing up for a moment, but decidedly to leave Shinso be. Nemuri had said that she had talked to him about it, and Shinso seemed fine, so Izuku had to trust that he'd be okay without his help.
"Oh, it's the Raid Rascals!" Ashido said, spotting Izuku and Shinso as she entered.
The collective gaze of the class shifted to Izuku and Shinso, who both started looking at Ashido as if she'd told a secret. Izuku knew that it wouldn't be kept quiet among the students, but he had been wanting to be the one to tell the story of how they'd fought off the Nomu. If not him, then Shinso. It wasn't really her story to tell, but Izuku let it go, as he understood how excitement could overwhelm someone from first hand experience.
"Are you physically incapable of not naming something?" Shinso asked.
"Nope! I heard about how you two took part in the raid against those drug dealers, and how you beat back that Nomu!" Ashido said, smiling brightly.
From a look around, it seemed that most knew about the raid, and those who didn't were just learning about it now. They all looked at each other with strange expressions; something like a hesitant enthusiasm. Izuku didn't know why they were so conflicted. It was fine with him, and Shinso seemed to be thinking something along the same lines as him, so why? Was it just because Izuku had gotten hurt? That happened every other day, or at least it felt like it.
"Yeah, that was super cool! There was even a video recorded from the street outside that showed the super awesome punch that Midoriya did on the Nomu! Didn't quite take it out, but it allowed Aizawa and Midnight to finish it off quickly enough!" Kaminari chimed in, practically vibrating in his seat.
"He's right there, you know," Sero said, making an apologetic face at Izuku.
"Ah, right. Sorry, man!" Kaminari hissed.
Izuku looked over at Shinso, and saw that he was beginning to turn a bit green. He stood up, putting on his best blank face, even though he was a bit annoyed by his classmates talking about him like he wasn't even there, if he was being honest with himself. He'd never tell them off, but he could do this.
"Guys, I'm sure that you're excited because of that video, but could you try to see it from our perspective? We had to face a Nomu. The thing that almost killed us a little over a month ago. Can you imagine how that must have felt for us, to go up against something even a little bit similar?" Izuku asked.
The others were quiet after that. Izuku walked over to his desk and sat down, nodding to Shinso as he noted that the boy looked a little less sick. The class waited for Aizawa in silence, not a single person willing to speak up after Izuku's question. He liked to think that he had handled that well, but he really didn't know. Ochako was looking at him strangely now, and Kaminari looked like he had seen a ghost, which was probably a bit much. Izuku sighed, waiting for Aizawa to arrive.
Something was off. Izuku looked around, trying to figure out what. Iida. He wasn't there. That was what had been weird about the morning so far; he hadn't heard Iida scolding Tokoyami for sitting on his desk while he talked with Shoji, or how Sero had talked Ashido into using some her Acid to make it so that when Kirishima walked into the room, he slipped. Iida wasn't doing anything, and Ochako clearly noticed by the fact that she was glancing at his seat every few moments, with a far off look in her eye.
Another thing was Todoroki. He was staring at Izuku, and he knew why. Izuku had promised him that he would fight the boy with his full power, but they had never gotten the chance due to his being pulled from the tournament. Izuku would have to talk to him later. He knew that Todoroki had wanted, needed, their fight to happen, even if only for personal satisfaction, so he understood how that may have left him sour in the aftermath of it being cancelled.
When Aizawa finally arrived, it was with nothing to say. Usually, he'd grumble a 'good morning', or at least a 'get in your seats', but he was completely silent today. It was like this was a whole different Aizawa, but he had the same scar under his eye, the same dull grey eyes that had just a hint of calculating … something. Izuku honestly didn't know what Aizawa was thinking half the time, but he was fairly certain that Aizawa had been thinking about Shirakumo, though he still didn't know who that was. Maybe it was someone that Aizawa was close to that had died. Maybe it was a family member. Would Izuku be able to talk to him about it? He felt like Aizawa had opened up a lot during their internship week, so maybe he'd be able to ask him without it coming off as rude or too personal to talk about. He hoped so; Aizawa looked so tired.
"Are you okay, Aizawa?" Ashido asked.
Oh, so everyone else could see that their teacher looked even more like a walking corpse than usual. That was promising. Or not, depending on what's made him this way.
"I … have news. I regret to inform you that Iida is no longer with us," Aizawa said, putting on a mask of emotionlessness.
A shock went through the class, and through Izuku. Iida had been expelled? Or transferred? How? What had he done that would warrant such a thing? Iida was among the best in the class, in both academics and in practical activities. The only thing he could think of was disobeying the instructions of the Hero he was interning with, but Iida would never do that; he was too rigid for it. He loved rules, they 'gave him structure', as he always said. Izuku, while not the closest to Iida, definitely enjoyed conversation with him, and would definitely miss him if this 'expulsion' thing turned out to be true.
"Where is he?" Ochako asked.
"Why would you expel him?" Yaoyorozu asked.
"What could that nerd possibly do to break any rule?" Bakugo asked.
Aizawa sighed. He looked like he was going to … Izuku really didn't know. He wasn't entirely sure that Aizawa had tear ducts, so maybe he wasn't about to cry, but he certainly looked like he was ready to give up on a large number of things, namely life.
"You're not getting what I mean. Iida isn't expelled. Iida's dead," Aizawa said.
Izuku blinked. Then he blinked again. No. That couldn't be true. Iida couldn't be dead. Izuku had talked to him before the internships, and he'd been a little broody and … no. It was impossible. That … who had he interned with? Manual: The Normal Hero. How could that internship have resulted in a death? UA couldn't have allowed that to happen.
"That's … some kind of sick joke, right?" Shinso asked.
"I'm afraid not. He was murdered during his internship when he ran off to fight the Hero Killer," Aizawa said.
Izuku gasped. It was loud enough for people to look at him strangely. He had known. He had connected it before the internships had even started, but he had let it slip from his mind as his training took over his thoughts. Izuku felt so stupid. How could he have let that happen? He had let himself get distracted, and Iida had died! He had told Aizawa about One for All, and then they had started training immediately. That had forced him to take his mind off Iida, and he had forgotten! He had forgotten, and now Iida was dead. This was his fault. He was supposed to tell Aizawa, and they'd go to Hosu and stop Iida themselves. He was supposed to do something, and save him. He was supposed to be a Hero. Instead, he was this selfish little kid, who had wasted his week training while his friend had been fighting for his life. What a Hero.
"This is my fault," he muttered.
"Midoriya?" someone around him asked; he didn't know who.
"I … could have stopped this."
Izuku felt a dizzy feeling come over him. His breath shortened and his hands wouldn't stay still. Izuku looked around, seeing the others looking at him with concerned expressions and knew that he was probably not looking so good right now. He felt a tear roll down his face, but his mind immediately conjured the image of Iida, with blood trickling down his own face in the spot where he was crying, making him hastily wipe the tear away to get his brain to stop making him look at it.
"Midoriya!" someone shouted.
He didn't know when he had stood, but he knew that he needed air. Izuku looked over at the door, knowing that the hallway was open to the fresh air from outside. He happened to make brief eye contact with Aizawa as he looked, catching the man's confused look as it turned into realization. He pushed his chair back, hitting Shinso's desk but not really caring at this point. He needed to breathe, and he couldn't while he was in there. It felt like there was an ache that was slowly welling up in his chest, and he needed to get it out.
Izuku walked over to the door, but as soon as it was open he lost himself in the smell and crispness of the fresh air outside. He immediately ran over to the railing on the other side of the hall and leaned over it, taking a deep breath of nice, clean air that didn't smell strangely like blood. Izuku breathed, until his heart swelled and something worked its way up his throat. Oh.
He threw up, chucking his breakfast over the railing. He saw as it flew down below and hit the ground with a sickening splat sound. Izuku took some more breaths, and he finally felt the ache in his chest subside a bit. He gripped the railing tight enough to dent it, and he wasn't even using any of One for All's power. Izuku looked out over Musutafu. It was a great view, but there was something different about it now. It was like someone had taken a bit of color from everything. It was hideous.
Looking away, he saw Aizawa standing at the door to the classroom. Izuku paused, not knowing how to explain his odd behavior other than the truth, but the truth was embarrassing. He'd had a panic attack. He hadn't had one since middle school, not counting the Sports Festival due to outside factors like the mental attacks he was undergoing at the time. He took another deep breath and spoke.
"I knew."
"You knew what?" Aizawa asked.
"I knew that Iida was going to fight the Hero Killer," Izuku clarified, though it hurt his heart.
"How?" Aizawa asked again, stepping closer.
"I put it together on the day the internships started. I … told him not to, but he just said that he was fine, and then he walked off! I should've tried harder to stop him," Izuku confessed.
"No, you shouldn't have had to be in that situation at all," Aizawa said.
"I was going to tell you, but I got so caught up in my training! I'm such a stupid idiot," Izuku said, a sob wracking his whole body.
Gentle hands gripped his shoulders, and Izuku looked up to see that Ochako was there, looking at him worriedly. She had such heartbreak written all over her face that Izuku couldn't stand it, so he looked away. He felt Ochako wrap her arms around his torso, and he returned the gesture, leaning into her embrace. She was warm, and he let himself sob into her shoulder. His hands shook, but he didn't try to stop them. He let himself be, hoping that the shakes and the crying would stop in time.
Given a moment, they did. Izuku's hands gained a level of stillness that, while not total, was good enough to pass as normal. His damned crying had stopped, something he was always grateful for. He was never able to control when the waterworks started.
"Are you okay?" Ochako asked, pulling away to look him in the eye.
"Yeah. I think so. I just … need to say some things to Aizawa," Izuku said, giving her his best smile, which he was afraid wasn't very good.
"Alright. I'll be inside. Don't hesitate to call for me if you need," Ochako said, nodding at him.
Ochako went back inside. That left Izuku along with Aizawa. The two looked at each other for a moment, before Aizawa turned back and stuck his head into the classroom. He said something to the class, which got a muffled series of muffled 'okay's and 'sure's. He closed the door fully and turned back to Izuku, sighing deeply as he took in the look of the boy, who thought he must have looked like a mess.
"Let's talk somewhere a little more private," Aizawa said, before turning to walk toward the teachers' lounge.
The two managed to occupy the lounge at a time when it was empty. It was just Izuku and Aizawa.
"I knew that Iida was going to fight the Hero Killer. I figured it out on the bus to the train station. I told him not to go, but he wouldn't listen. I should've tried harder. I wasn't giving it my full effort, and he died because of it," Izuku said.
"That's not true. You did your best, and that was more than anyone would expect of you. Just trying makes you a Hero, and that's not something you get to believe. That's a fact, so don't discount your efforts because Iida made a bad judgement call," Aizawa said.
"I was going to tell you, though. I was gonna tell you, but I got so caught up in training that I forgot. I just forgot that my friend was going to fight the deadliest serial killer in a hundred years! That's not okay! I was a selfish idiot, and he's dead because of it," Izuku said, feeling the tears start running again.
Aizawa sighed, running a hand down his face. He looked tired, like he hadn't gotten any sleep since they last saw each other. It wasn't unlikely, since Izuku knew how little the man really got to sleep. The last week had shown him how Aizawa really operated as a Hero, and had made him appreciate his teacher even more.
"That's not on you. That's on Iida, that's on Manual, that's on me, but that'd never be on you. You did everything you could to help him. It's my fault that I didn't notice that something was wrong and reach out before he did something idiotic like challenge the Hero Killer," Aizawa said, sounding oddly emotional.
"No, it's my fault. I was right next to him. I could've done more. I could've tried harder. Instead, I let him go and get himself killed. I couldn't even save one person that was right in front of me. How can I hope to be a Hero that saves everyone if I can't even do that?" Izuku said, wiping away the tears that had fallen.
Aizawa groaned, and leaned forward suddenly. Izuku almost flinched, but the combat training that had been drilled into him prevented it. He looked closely at the man, who looked to be biting his tongue, but who Izuku could tell was desperate to say something. He watched as Aizawa stared at the coffee table between them, forcing the words out even if they weren't what he originally intended.
"That's not a good spot to put yourself in. That'll just cause stress that isn't yours to bear. This isn't your fault, Midoriya. This is the fault of a bad decision, and the failure of us teachers to see what was happening," Aizawa said, leaving no room for argument through his stare.
"I … fine. What happens now?" Izuku asked.
Aizawa explained to him where the school, and the class, would go from there. He explained what the class would have to go through, and Izuku realized that, as Class Rep, he'd be the one to relay all of it to them. He steadied himself for the task, and steeled his nerves.
"Are you okay?" Aizawa asked.
"Yeah. This is just a little unexpected," Izuku said.
Aizawa barked out a laugh, and Izuku did flinch that time. It caught him off guard, and if Aizawa noticed, he didn't say anything.
"That's an understatement. A student hasn't died while on UA's watch in fourteen years," Aizawa said.
"How do you think the media will react?" Izuku asked.
"In a perfect world, they'd give the Iidas well wishes and leave it alone," Aizawa said, bitterness dripping from his words.
"We don't live in a perfect world, though?" Izuku asked, though he already knew the answer was no.
"Precisely. In our imperfect world, they'll likely question UA's ability to keep any of you safe. They'll call for an investigation into Manual's competency as a Hero. They'll ask questions nobody can answer," Aizawa answered, almost like he'd had to explain that more than once that day.
Izuku thought about it. He should've tried harder, they all should have, but Iida was willing to accept the consequences of his actions, even if they involved his injury or death. Izuku supposed that he was too far gone by the point he had realized what was happening. He was entirely willing to accept that he could've died, so why should UA take the blame for that? Would the media really pin this on people who had no involvement in this situation? Could they? Legally, could they pin the blame on people like Mic, or Kayama? It sounded wrong, but he had been quick to deny this whole situation not half an hour ago. He almost punched out a Nomu in one hit a few days ago. Impossibilities were running rampant nowadays.
Aizawa sighed heavily and stood. He glanced toward the door, then back at Izuku.
"I think that, for now, you should go back to class. Tell them what I've told you, and comfort them. You're their leader; they need you, now more than ever," Aizawa said.
"Alright. What will you do?" Izuku asked.
"What I can," Aizawa grumbled.
"Right. Good luck," Izuku said, beginning to move toward the door.
"You too," he heard Aizawa mumble, before sitting back down and putting his head in his hands.
The entire walk back to class didn't feel real. It felt like he was walking through a dream, and his destination was reality. He was walking toward something that would never come, but was just at the edges of his fingertips, waiting for him to take that final step. He thought out what he was going to say, but nothing got past the 'Hello!' stage. He couldn't even muster up the courage to say Iida's name, let alone tell all of his friends that he was really dead, and that they had to move on without him. When he got to the classroom, he breathed deep and opened the door to silence.
Everyone looked at him like he was going to bring Iida in behind him. It made him feel sick, but he needed to follow through with Aizawa's request. He needed to be there for them, even if he didn't feel particularly up to the task, and was hurting just as much as all of them at the prospect of that robotic, rule-following weirdo not being in their lives anymore.
Izuku made his way to the podium, not letting himself falter under their gazes. He felt a few people staring at him specifically; Ochako, Bakugo, Shinso, Tsu and Yaoyorozu. Izuku knew that each of them probably had different reasons for expecting something out of him, but the second he opened his mouth, his throat dried up and he choked on his own breath. He let it pass, though, and spoke.
"This morning has given us quite the shock, huh? I can definitely say that this is a … not so pleasant surprise to me. While we weren't the best of friends, I respected Iida enough to know that he would've made a spectacular Hero, and now that he's gone … I don't know how to feel," Izuku said, simply letting his thoughts flow as he turned off his stupid, overthinking brain for a moment.
The class all looked at him strangely. Some simply looked confused at the fact that he was the one doing this, but others seemed actually offended. They looked … angry.
"Look, I think it can be excused if I'm not the best at giving eulogies. When would I have had time or the thought to practise this?" Izuku whined.
Bakugo laughed, though it was more of a grumble, and everyone looked at him like he was crazy. He was crazy, of course, but that didn't stop him from getting offended. Bakugo huffed and turned to look out the window, an unreadable look on his face. Izuku thought he could read Bakugo fairly well, but now they may as well have been strangers. He sighed at that, but turned back to the class.
"UA is giving us the week to do what we need. Grieve, visit his family, whatever. They know that he was a big presence in the class, so they've given us some time to adjust to this new world without him. You're welcome to leave, or to stay. We're not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do," Izuku said.
"We talked while you were gone. For now, I think we just need each other," Kaminari said.
"Alright. Do you have anything in mind, or do you just need company?" Izuku asked, looking around.
"Just company," Ochako said.
"Right. I think Aizawa won't get too mad at us if we move the desks to the sides of the room and sit in the middle," Izuku said.
So, they did that. Everyone grabbed their desk, though the shorter students like Tsu needed help balancing them. She began to tip over, and Izuku was ready to jump in, but Shinso managed to get there before he did. Izuku chuckled under his breath, remembering that they were closer friends than he had thought.
Everyone sat down in a circle, even Bakugo, and Izuku found it to be a smaller circle than he had expected. There were nineteen of them now, so he guessed it was reasonable, but still. It would always feel like there was someone missing now, because there would be.
"I think we should go around and say something that Iida did for us, to preserve his memory," Yaoyorozu suggested.
"That's a good idea. Who wants to go first?" Izuku asked.
"I will," Kaminari said. "I liked that Iida would always help me with my homework when I asked. He was really generous like that."
"Whenever I recommended some music, he always listened to it immediately and got back to me with a review," Jiro said, chuckling under her breath.
"He told me he thought my dancing was cool," Ashido said, holding back tears.
"Iida said that he thought I was manly! I don't even think he knew what it meant, but he said it anyway," Kirishima said, his hand on Ashido's shoulder.
"He said he thought my acrobatics were cool," Sero said, his ever-present grin surprisingly not plastered on his face.
"He said that he admired how I kept maintenance of my face mask," Shoji said, his stoic voice wavering the slightest bit.
"Iida told me that my baking was an impressive skill," Sato said, smiling sadly.
"He called me 'remarkable'. I didn't know the context, but it made my day," Yaoyorozu said.
"He was always so careful to keep the temperature of whatever room we were in just right for me. He knew that frogs were susceptible to cold, so he always looked out for me," Tsu said, letting tears fall freely. Shinso gave her a look that nobody else could decipher, though it seemed to make Tsu feel better.
The next in the circle was … Bakugo. Izuku sucked in a breath. What would he say? Would he say something nice? He really didn't know. Bakugo was a wildcard when it came to these things. He had shown progress, though, with his Hero name. Izuku had to trust that he was going to be better.
"The nerd was persistent, I'll give him that. Never let it go when I'd do something fun," Bakugo huffed.
Izuku let out his breath. It was okay. He'd actually complimented Iida, so that was good. At least he hadn't screwed up what progress he'd made. Izuku knew it was his turn, so thought of something that Iida had done for or with him.
"We were teammates during the Sports Festival. When I challenged his beliefs, he was hesitant at first, but listened to me eventually. I think allowing your worldview to be changed takes a certain amount of courage," Izuku said.
"Iida always kept the lighting at the adequate level for Dark Shadow to be controlled, but not annoy others," Tokoyami said, Dark Shadow sobbing next to him.
"We didn't really get a lot of time together, but on the first day, after Aizawa's tests, Iida gave me some nausea medication. He just … had it on him," Ochako said, trying to keep a straight face.
"He … said that my love for animals was admirable," Koda said, his voice quiet and strained.
"Iida was a talented fighter. He gave it his all, even when what he was doing wasn't necessarily important," Todoroki said, a strange look in his eye.
"Whenever I'd fall asleep at lunch, he'd let me be until class came around," Shinso said, his voice as monotonous as ever.
"He said he wished he could kick with half as much power as I had in my tail," Ojiro said, openly letting his tears fall down his face.
"Iida once recognized me in a group of people. That was when I was still invisible all the time, so it meant the world to me," Hagakure said, holding her flushed cheeks in her hands.
The only one that hadn't said anything was Aoyama. Izuku would admit to not knowing Aoyama as well as the others, but that shouldn't stop him from saying anything for what was basically Iida's eulogy. He looked to be thinking, but soon wore his smallest smile, which was still a bit much, but it was better than a full grin in this situation.
"His Hero costume had such a pretty glint to it!" Aoyama said, surprisingly quietly.
Everyone wrote Aoyama off as an eccentric weirdo. They sat there, letting each of their classmates think on their own emotions, and savoring each others' company. Izuku would say that Iida was a kind of glue; he was a universal constant. Everyone had been on the receiving end of his lectures and rule-following rants, but had just as often been on the receiving end of some of the greatest acts of kindness they'd ever seen. Iida was what held the class together, and now that he was gone … Izuku still didn't know how to feel.
Izuku knew that they'd catch Stain eventually. He was human, so he'd make a mistake. The question was how many people he'd kill before that happened. Izuku wondered how many innocent people the police and the Heroes working the case would allow him to murder in cold blood before they brought him in. The public was already dissatisfied with how the case was going, so now that he'd killed a child, how would Stain's publicity grow and change? How could the police catch a legend in the skin of a man? He was already the infamous 'Hero Killer', so what could he evolve into given enough time? Izuku couldn't just sit back and let that happen. He had to do something.
First, though, he had a family to talk to.