THE FIRST TIME

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO - PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS

"What have you got at the end of the day?

What have you got to take away?

A bottle of whiskey and a new set of lies

Blinds on the windows and a pain behind the eyes

Scarred for life, no compensations

Private investigations"

DIRE STRAITS (From the album "Love Over Gold (1982))

Sent: April 12th, 1999

From: That Witter Guy

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Dawson is driving me nuts!

Hi, Sweetheart. Sorry, that I haven't been as active these past weeks, when it comes to this whole e-mail thing, as I'm sure you would have liked, but there's a good reason for it (and not only that computers and I are two things, I can't imagine ever going together like PeanutButter and jelly!).

With the movie being in full production mode, it also means that I've been practically working around the clock, either on schoolwork, the movie, or my job at "Screen Time" that I still need to keep up with, if I'm going to be able to afford getting my boat ready, so you and I can go out sailing in it this coming summer. If you're up for it, of course! Which in truth, I wouldn't have minded all that much, if it wasn't for Dawson and his entirely unrealistic expectations for exactly what, his movie will wind up becoming! Seriously, he's been driving me off the wall so much, that I've been finding myself often daydreaming about all of the various ways, I can tell him, that I've had enough and he can make his damned movie without me!

Please, at least tell me, that things are better on your end. I've started counting down the days to school ending and for once, it isn't just because I'm in serious need of a long vacation away from that place!

Your (somewhat frustrated) boyfriend

Pacey

Sent: April 12th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: That Witter Guy

Subject: Poor baby!

Hi, Honey! It was nice to hear from you again, although I'm not too surprised, that Dawson is stressed out over his movie and is taking it out on you. I hate to say it, because the last thing I want, is for you to change anything about yourself, but sometimes, you're almost too nice for your own good. So, if he's really bugging you too much, just tell him from me to shut the heck up! If he has a problem with it, you can let him know that he can take it up with me personally, when I come home in a few months' time!

Over on this side of the Atlantic, it's been a relatively quiet couple of weeks, where I've been splitting my time between hanging out with my host family and their cat Zizou, as well as enjoying Emma for all she'd worth, while I have the chance to. You know that I'm looking forward to seeing you again, like I've rarely looked forward to anything before. That should go without saying. Still, I can't help thinking that I'll miss seeing and hanging out with her every day a whole lot, when I don't have the chance to anymore.

And don't work too hard, please! You need to save some energy too, for when I get home (wink, wink!).

XOXO

Joey

Pacey was already starting to regret, having said yes to being Dawson's producer/financial manager on the production of his buddy's movie, that had been given the working title "Creek Days". A title, that he'd tried several times to convince his old pal to change, since it said absolutely nothing about, what the actual content of the movie would be. The script, which he could call himself a co-author to (not that it made him special, since Dawson had been readily picking the brains of all of his friends, when he was writing it) told an on the surface basic, but in reality, quite complex love story. The lead character, Steven (you'll get three guesses, as to whom Dawson named him after!) is a high school sophomore in a small town, who's in a healthy, albeit very PG relationship with a girl named Marion (whom, after Pacey had been allowed to name her, had been given it after Indiana Jones' love interest in Pacey's own favorite movie, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"). All of this changes however, when a young femme fatale named Abigail (simply named that way, since having one of the main characters named after herself, was Abby's sole demand for helping out on the movie shoot) comes to town. This girl then turns Steven's life upside down, leading to him learning a valuable lesson about what truly matters to him, by the time we reach the end credits.

In all earnestness, Pacey had to give Dawson credit for coming up with such a both relevant and well-told story and at first, when the idea of being the movie's producer had been presented to him, he'd actually felt a little honored to be entrusted with such an important role. Especially considering that on Dawson's first movie, he'd only taken on the role as the "Monster of the Lake", since it would mean the least amount of work for him. However, now where he was experiencing what the life of a movie producer was in practice, he also couldn't get the shoot over with quickly enough.

After them having considered a handful of the boys at their school for the role of Steven, they'd settled on the one, who'd given the best audition, Chris Wolfe. As his unsuspecting girlfriend, they'd casted Andie, in spite of her brother's many objections, that she was trying to do too many things at the same time. One great thing that you could always be sure of with Andie though, was that she went into any and every project full of enthusiasm, and their hope was that her constant positivity and upbeat nature would rub off on everyone else, making the shoot a more enjoyable experience for everyone working on it, than it would have been otherwise. For the role of Abigail, they hadn't had much choice, since Dawson's "Investor" Hannah had declared, after she'd read the script through, that it was the only role in the movie, she could see herself in. Seeing as money talks (especially when you don't have enough of it), they had no choice except to give in to her demands, or they would have had to cut every expense they could, if it would even be possible to finish the movie at all, without her five grand to add to the five, Dawson could throw into it himself. The rest of the speaking parts had mostly been filled by friends and family, save for those that they didn't have anyone in their social circle, who could logically fill. All in all, their cast crew added up to a lean twenty, a very decent sized group (or so Dawson claimed), for a production of this small magnitude.

So far, in the week or so that they'd been filming, it had more or less gone according to the schedule, Dawson had written up. If all things went according to plan, they'd be finished in four weeks, after which Dawson was planning on starting the editing process, once his finals were over and done with. On this particular day however, they'd already fallen behind within the first hour, thanks to his pal's unachievable demands for close to perfect performances from a cast, made up entirely of boys and girls, who'd never acted in a movie before in their young lives.

"Abigail, we can't do this!" Chris said, reading the lines Dawson had written for this scene, where his character has to try to break up with his "Other Girlfriend". Sadly, Chris was without a doubt the best actor on their cast. Not that it said much!

"Why not?" Hannah, in the role of Abigail, replied. If Chris was their best actor, there was little doubt, who their worst actress was. Unfortunately, they also couldn't make their movie, unless they willingly gave in to each and every demand, she had.

"It's wrong, that's why! Don't you care about the idea of falling in love with someone and staying faithful to them, until you both shall pass?" Chris recited his lines.

"Steven, we're only fifteen years old! If far too soon for us to ... what's my next line?" Hannah said, drawing yet another of the many annoyed groans from Dawson, Pacey had already heard from him that day.

Dawson immediately called "Cut!", and his crew began to set up for another take. Pacey, as the one, who had to be the realist out of the two of them, pulled him aside for a small one-on-one talk.

"Dawson, I hate to be the one to lay bad news on you ..."

"Hannah totally sucks as an actress! I'm well aware of that fact, but in case the news hasn't reached you yet, I'm caught between a rock and a hard place here!"

"I know, but ... can't you try to talk to her and see, if you can't convince her to step down?"

"I've already tried a couple of times, but it's like talking to a wall! We'll have to make do with what we have, and that's just how it is" Dawson explained, putting the matter more or less to rest. "You'd think that with them being a real-life couple, they'd at least have a tiny bit of on-screen chemistry!"

"You don't think so either, huh?" Pacey asked, drawing a despondent headshake from his oldest friend.

"I'm starting to think that I need to cut some of their scenes together. Their big make-out scene, for example".

"Not that I'm trying to sound like the George Lucas to your Steven Spielberg here, but if there's one scene, they should be able to pull off realistically, wouldn't it be that one?"

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Don't you think that by now, they've had plenty of "off-screen practice"? After all, they've been a couple for almost a month now" he joked.

Dawson clearly wasn't in a joking mood though, and it didn't get better after the next two takes, that went pretty much the same way, all of the others had. When they finally got a take, that was close to usable, they stranded on the kiss between the two characters, that was planned to end the scene. If Pacey hadn't known better, he would have thought they were brother and sister, from how little it looked as if they wanted to make out with one another.

What surprised him most, however, was Dawson's far too emotional reaction to seeing them kissing. His face turned a bright red, the instant that his "stars" began locking lips, and he stormed off the set, claiming that he needed a five-minute break. What surprised him even more, was the smug look on Hannah's face, as she watched him leaving, like she knew something, no one else there did.

What on earth could Hannah possibly know, however, that even he, who supposedly was Dawson's number one confidant didn't? Not knowing annoyed Pacey immensely, and it gave him an idea.

To pay a visit to his dad down at the police station, after school was over.

"If nothing else, Abby. You'll always be a better actor, than your on-screen namesake!" Jen joked to Abby, while the production was on a small break. Abby, in return, let out a cute little giggle.

"Here we always thought that Francis Ford Coppola deciding to cast his own daughter in one of the main roles for "Godfather 3", was the worst casting decision of all time!" Abby quipped back.

"Nepotism is always an ugly thing! Hannah puts every other bad actor ever to shame though, doesn't she?"

"You can say that again!" Abby bluntly replied, just before they saw Jack come walking towards them.

"How's the shoot going?" he asked them with a friendly smile.

"Very slowly!" Abby answered him, making no qualms about it at all.

"Jen, I'm really sorry, but I have to cancel our date tonight. My dad is coming down for a last-minute visit, so me going out with you, or anyone else tonight is a huge no-go, I'm afraid" he told her, looking for all the world, like spending an evening in his dad's company was just about the last thing, he felt up for.

"Don't worry about it. Family has to be allowed to come first" she assured him, getting a small smile from him in return.

"You're the tops, Jen! If there was such a thing as a best girlfriend in the world award, you'd be a sure-fire winner!" he complimented her, before giving her a quick peck on the cheek and leaving them to do their work.

"Speaking of Jack, have you two ..." Abby began saying, before forming a hole with two fingers and sticking another of her fingers through it. "Yet?"

"Not even close to it! So far, we're talking one very short feel up, on top of three layers of clothing, and I wouldn't even have gotten that much, if I hadn't guided his hand all the way up there! I'm fine with taking it slow, don't get me wrong. It's just that ..."

"You're getting tired of your relationship moving along at a pace, where an elderly snail would deem it too slow?" Abby finished her sentence for her.

"I'm not asking for too much, am I?" she asked, drawing a headshake from Abby.

After a moment of thinking about it, though. It looked like her just as lovable, as she was small height-wise, friend, got an idea.

"Maybe, what you need to do is get some advice from someone, who's having more luck on that front, than you are" Abby said leadingly, piquing her interest.

"Like who? Not that I can't imagine that nearly every other girl with a boyfriend at our school, is getting felt up, more than I am!"

"Mary-Beth" Abby replied, making herself raise an eyebrow.

"Of all of the girls here, you could have mentioned, she would probably be my last choice! Mary-Beth? Do you really think that her and Dawson, arguably the two most virginal teenagers in all of Capeside, have gone much further, than I have with Jack?" she had to ask, seeing as just the idea of it sounded somewhat crazy to her.

"I don't just think it, I know it! Remember, how I told you that Pacey drove me home a handful of days ago? Well, when he did, we passed by a house, where we saw a couple going at it hot and heavy up against the window. Can you guess, who it was?"

"No way! Dawson and Mary-Beth?"

"I only caught a small glimpse of his face through the window, but it wasn't hard like it was hard to figure out, who the girl had to have been! No one says that you have to tell her, that I saw them, but it can't hurt to beat a little around the bush on the subject with her, can it?" Abby suggested, and maybe it was her own sexual frustrations calling the shots, but part of her figured that it couldn't hurt to try to pick Mary-Beth's brain and see, if she couldn't learn a thing or two from her.

Unlikely, as it might have been.

After a long day of shooting, an end had blissfully been called to it, or at least that was how Pacey saw it. How they were going to get through the rest of filming this movie, without himself wanting to quit, stood as a mystery to him, exactly like another thing did: Dawson's complete and total over-reaction to the screen kiss between Hannah and Chris. Surely, with how splendidly his buddy's relationship with MB was playing out, he couldn't be something as absurd, as actually jealous of Chris, could he? The very idea sounded nothing short of ludicrous to his own ears, still if there was one thing he'd learned from watching crime dramas over the years, it was that when the evidence points in a specific direction, you shouldn't entirely dismiss it either.

Seeing as he had a mystery to solve, there was only one logical source to go to. His dad, whom he caught up with, just as he was leaving the station for the day, no doubt to go on yet another bender down at "The Watering Hole".

"If it isn't my prodigal son, who's stopped by to pay his old man a rare visit!" his father sarcastically said, albeit still with the kind of slight smile on his face, that he only very rarely saw, when his parents were still living together.

One thing Pacey had to give this whole divorce thing, that his parents had gone through (especially now, where it had been finalized), was that the end result was that they both seemed far happier with their lives, than he could remember them having ever been before.

"Let's face it, dad. If I'm the prodigy of our little family, then we're in real trouble!" he quipped back, drawing a small laugh from his old man.

"You could have easily turned out a million times worse, than you have, Pacey! Did you just stop by to say hello, or is there another reason for this unexpected visit?"

"I was kind of hoping to pick your brain on something. A mystery, if you will".

"Is it something, us down here at the station should be looking into? Look, Pacey. I'm well aware that you and I haven't always been on the best of terms, but I'd still like to think that you would come to me, if you think there's something going on, I should know about".

"It's nothing like that! Say, that there's this guy and he has an overly emotional reaction to seeing a couple from our school kissing. What could that mean?" he asked his dad, while carefully keeping it as vague, as he could. With his own old man and Dawson's being long-time friends, word of any misdeeds could easily reach the ears of people, that his best friend wouldn't want to know too much about what's going on it his personal life. If such a thing was the case, like it most likely wasn't.

"Is he going through a bad break-up himself, or the loss of a loved one, perhaps? People, who are in an already weakened emotional state, can easily get upset over just about anything. I've seen it happen hundreds of times and it's only a natural human reaction".

"Not in this case. It came completely out of the blue too, so what's your guess?" he asked his father, who took a few seconds to think his answer over, before replying.

"In that case, my guess is that he either has a crush on this girl, or there's already something going on between them, that they don't want anyone to know about. If there's one thing that I've learned in my many years on the police force, it's that if there's such a thing as a logical answer, then it's also the usually also the truth".

Hannah and Dawson hooking up and behind Mary-Beth's back, no less? Pacey didn't want it to be true, but now that the thought had been put into his head, he also had to get the truth from the only source, that could give it to him. This was why he made his way from the police station down to Dawson's house, after he'd bid his goodnights to his dad and told him to take good care of himself.

After being let into the house by Dawson's mom Gail, he made his way up the stairs, where he found Dawson in his room, watching an old favorite of theirs.

"Weekend at Bernie's, huh? Have you really sunk that low?" he dryly joked, before sitting down in the same chair, that he usually sat in, whenever he visited his pal.

"After all of the figurative kicks to the balls, I've taken today, seeing the real thing happening to a dead guy over and over again, is oddly comforting" Dawson deadpanned in reply, and it wasn't like Pacey couldn't see, where he was coming from.

"Can we pause it for a minute or two? There's something rather important, I need to ask you".

"If it's about the movie, can't it wait until tomorrow?" Dawson sighed, being clearly not in the mood for anymore talking about their joint "Chaos Project", then he already had been forced to that day.

"It is and it isn't" he began, before Dawson put the movie on pause. "How do I ask this without possibly offending you?"

"You should know that better than I do by now! We've been friends practically since we learned how to walk, Pacey. I'd like to think that us being able to ask one another anything, goes both ways".

"In that case, I'll just ask you straight out. Is there something going on between you and Hannah, that you don't want everyone else to know about?" he asked and instantly, Dawson began trying to avert any kind of eye contact between them.

"What gave you that idea?" Dawson asked back so quietly, that if there'd been the slightest bit of background noise, Pacey wouldn't have been able to hear a word of it.

"Your reaction to seeing her and Chris kissing today. That wasn't a normal reaction for someone, who isn't supposed to know Hannah better, than as someone, who's invested a few grand into a project of his. If I'm being crazy, just tell me and I won't ever mention it again".

"Dammit!" Dawson suddenly let out and got up from his bed, to start pacing the room. "If you know, who knows who else knows about it by now?"

Pacey, as anyone in this situation would, needed a handful of seconds to regain his bearings, before asking anymore questions. All the while, his best friend looked for all the world, like his own was collapsing around him.

"I take it then, that Mary-Beth ..."

"No, and she can't ever know!" Dawson stated emphatically. "I should have listened to your warnings about Hannah, but I didn't. At first, it was just supposed to be a casual thing".

"Don't you mean a casual little affair, considering that both of you are technically dating other people?"

"Chris wasn't in the picture at that time. I swear, sometimes I think to myself, that the only reason she's with him, is to taunt me into doing something, I'll regret later!"

"Knowing her, I wouldn't bet against it! I hate to tell you, but you should have known it too".

"Pacey, the last thing I need from you right now, is a lesson on how important fidelity is in a relationship!"

"I'm sorry, but I just don't get it! You and MB are perfect for one another, so why look elsewhere, for what she was already giving you? Or maybe, it's that she wasn't giving you what you wanted?"

"I have to give Hannah, that she knew exactly which buttons to press, to make me fall headfirst into her trap. Trust me, it isn't like I haven't tried to break it off with her several times, but she seems intent now on making my life as miserable, as it can be".

"And if you do, she'll tell a certain girlfriend of yours what's been going on between you?"

"Bingo! You know that the last thing, I've ever wanted to do, is to hurt Mary-Beth, if there's any way, I can avoid it. It isn't her fault that her boyfriend screwed up and got himself sexually involved with a devil in disguise, as you so accurately named her!"

"It hasn't gone that far, has it?"

"It hasn't been far from it. Look, if there was a quick way out of this situation, where no one wound up getting hurt, I would have used it in a second, there just isn't. At least, not until Hannah skips town again, hopefully for good!" Dawson mused, before lying back down on his bed and burying his head in his hands.

"And what makes you think that will put an end to all of your troubles? Dawson, I know that me finding a first girlfriend, a few months before you did, doesn't make me a bigger expert on love and relationships, than you are. All I can tell you, is that if it had been myself, who'd messed up with another girl, I'd have to tell Joey about it sooner or later and most importantly, before she found out through someone else. All it takes is Chris or one of his friends finding out, and then it could be too late to tell the truth. If you still want to be with MB, that is?"

"Of course, I do! She's everything, I've ever dreamt of having in a girlfriend! Lord help me, but I've actually been daydreaming about what my future with her in it would look like!"

"A future, as in having a pair of kids of your own running around the house, a Volvo parked in driveway and worrying over how you'll make the next mortgage payment?" Pacey had to ask, seeing as he'd been guilty of thinking those same thoughts, when it came to himself and one Miss Joey Potter.

"The very same".

"In that case, you'll have to tell her. There's no way out of it, and I think, you know that deep down as well".

Dawson clearly didn't like the idea of it, but he didn't say anything to disagree either.

Jen had spent most of the rest of the day, since Abby came up with the odd suggestion of the year, wondering how she would bring up the subject of sex with a girl, who she'd so far rarely done anything, except for doing some loose small talking with. All she knew for sure, was that she couldn't just ask MB straight out, so she would have to work her way up to it, and as she came up to Mary-Beth's parents' house (one of the Victorian style villas, that had most likely been among the first houses built, back when all Capeside consisted of were a handful of houses inhabited by fishermen and their families, who all survived almost solely on whatever amount of fish, they could manage to catch in the Atlantic ocean), she was wrecking her head with how to go about it.

"What brings you here, Jen?" Mary-Beth sweetly asked, as she let Jen into the house.

"I have a problem, that I need an expert opinion on, you could say" Jen replied, not wanting to say too much, when MB's parents could be listening in on their conversation.

"Do you mean like, a school problem?"

"You could say that. It isn't something, I want everyone to hear about though, so if there's a place, we could talk in private, perhaps?"

"Sure thing!" MB cheerfully answered her, and it wasn't many moments later, that Jen found herself up in MB's very girly looking room with just about the most unlikely girl, to get advice on how to get a guy into bed with you, that she could possibly come up with.

"It's a nice room, you have here" Jen said, figuring that starting off with a small compliment wouldn't be the worst way to start. She wasn't lying either, even if MB's room probably closely resembled most of the teenage girl rooms in Capeside to a T.

"Thanks. Do you need help with your homework?"

"It's nothing like that! Although, I guess, you could call it "Homework"! You know how Jack and I have been dating for around a month now ..."

"It has caught my attention a time or two, yes! He seems like a really nice guy, from the few times, I've talked to him so far".

"He so is and everything between us is close to perfect! Except, we haven't been what you can call "Getting Physical" yet".

"And you thought I was the girl to ask for advice on how to get there?" Mary-Beth confusedly asked, and it looked to Jen, like the idea of her being the one to ask, was as far out there to her present company, as Jen herself had first thought that it would be. "Aren't there other girls, you could ask, who have a lot more experience in that field, than I do? They can't be all that hard to find!"

"So, you and Dawson haven't ..." she began asking leadingly. Just the fact that Mary-Beth blushed just at the suggestion of it though, told her pretty much all she needed to know.

"Not yet! I mean, of course, I'm hoping that it'll happen someday, but ... I probably shouldn't say anymore!"

"I completely understand. If you feel like I've overstepped some kind of boundary here, then I'm really sorry" she apologized, even if the answer she'd been given back, had also raised a whole bunch of new ones, that she was far more curious to get into the truth of.

"We've done other stuff; it isn't like that. But, to go from there to actually "Doing It", is just far too big of a step for me right now. Does that make me a prude?" Mary-Beth asked her very innocently and clearly not like a girl, who would do such a thing where others could be a witness to it, in all of its glory.

"Not at all!" Jen blurted out, feeling like she needed to reassure MB, that she was as normal, as can be. "I started out way too soon, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone someone like you".

"You mean us prudes?"

"You're not in any way a prude, because you want your first time to be special, like it should be, Mary-Beth. Don't let anyone, not even Dawson, try to convince you otherwise!" she reassured a smiling MB, who looked very relieved at hearing it said that way.

As it turned out, Jen ended up staying for over two hours and by the end of her little visit, she'd become certain of two things. One, that MB, in spite of how bookish everyone saw her as, was actually a really cool girl in her own way and someone, she could easily see herself becoming much closer with in the future. And two, that the girl, whose bare butt Abby caught a glimpse of in the window that evening, couldn't possibly have been her.

Which begged the question, of course. If it wasn't MB, then who was Dawson getting it on with behind his girlfriend's back?

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-TWO