Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

Certified D.O.G.

'Dude Oblige' Guarantee

(Pride, Morningstar Castle)

"Naruto!" Lucifer called for his trusted left hand. He had scoured the entirety of the East Wing of his castle for the wayward Hound of Hell, and now he'd moved onto the West. Why was he, Lucifer, Sin of Pride, King of Hell personally searching for his wayward guard?

Because his wife told him to, obviously.

"All he does is work and stand stoically as your shadow. When he isn't helping me with Charlie – who is your daughter – I don't know what he does for fun! He needs to take a break and he won't do that if you don't tell him to! So go fucking tell him!"

"Oh sure, I tell the annoying bastard to buzz off all the time, but he's still there! And the one fucking time Lilith wants me to send him on a whatever-the-fuck did she call it? Bay-Cay-Shun? He's gone!" Lucifer grumbled. He could be designing the next best child's toy for Hellborn across the Rings! But no-o-o, he had to waste his time finding his annoying, pestering, smartass of a dog! Lucifer curled his lip. "I swear, it's like he fucking plans this. To make me look like an idiot."

"Luce, if I had to plan to make you look like an idiot, I'd never have any free time on my hands."

"Sweet Mother of Me!" Lucifer jumped and whirled around to snarl at the golden-orange hound. "Where the fuck have you been?!"

"Getting dirt on the Lower Goetia." Naruto deadpanned as one of his massive brown-furred hands held up a big, leather bound book full of sticky notes and studying tabs. He tossed it to Lucifer, who almost doubled over when he caught the damn thing. The Hound of Hell crossed his arms and tilted his head. "Like you asked me to."

"When the fuck did I-?"

"After Mammon told you he'd get you any dirt you wanted just for a chance at Charlie's soul."

"Right. Remind me to squash him at the next meeting." Lucifer growled, features shifting as he thought about the Sins' reaction to his offspring. Satan was paranoid, but played it cool; Leviathan was...a hard read; Belphegor, Queen Bee, and Ass-Modius didn't seem to care much – since they were satisfied by the baby pictures, that is; but Mammon.

Ooh, Mammon just didn't know how to shut his fucking mouth. Talking about his baby girl like she had a fucking price tag! Charlie was fucking priceless, a goddamned miracle he never expected to be capable of! Perks of marrying the real first woman, it would seem.

"Were you looking for me?"

"Huh?" Lucifer snapped himself from his near Wrathful thoughts and looked at his Left Hand. What was he–? Oh, right. Lilith's instructions. Lucifer tucked the book of dirt under his arm and cleared his throat. "Naruto, it occurs to me that you've been working very hard lately."

"..Uh-huh..?" Naruto's near-ethereal blue eyes narrowed.

"And I think you should be rewarded with some time off."

"…So, Lilith told you to give me time off?"

"No!" Lucifer snapped with a scowl. "It was my idea, I can tell when someone is in need of a break."

"Yeah, and the last time you told someone to take that break, you got cast down." Naruto snorted and put his hands on his hips and leaned down to growl in Lucifer's face. "Just admit Lilith told you to do it, Luce."

"You...Are going on a Ten Year Vacation!" Lucifer ignored the challenge with a twitch in his eye. Naruto rolled his eyes and leaned back. Lucifer smirked at him. "Oh, come on. It's only ten years."

"And where am I going on this ten year vacation?" Naruto snarled. Ungrateful–! He should get this damn bastard neutered.

"Well, Tartarus needs checking in on. We can't have any of those nutters breaking out while Charlie's still smol and fragile–" Lucifer cut himself off as Naruto snorted. "Fuck are you laughing at, fuzzy?"

"It's a working vacation. Of course it is."

"No, I…Uh…"

"Look, if Lilith wants you to tell me to take a break? Nod." Naruto smirked at him.

Lucifer's eye twitched. He could give people breaks! He could! And he could handle their small workloads in their absence! He'd just..schedule time to do what he liked for after it was done!

"..Not even going to nod? I'll just go ask Lil what she thinks I should do." Naruto hummed. "Maybe I'll pop in on Eve."

"No! No! Absolutely not! You cannot go visit Eve!" Lucifer cut him off. Naruto kept walking away and Lucifer hurried after him. "Did you hear me?!"

"Yes, but given that you gave me a Ten Year Vacation, I'm choosing to ignore you."

"…You're a bad dog."

"Pfft!" Naruto scoffed and smirked as he continued his casual stride. "How bad can I be, I'm just doing what comes naturally."

"Hey, do you hear a jaunty pop tune starting? ..Naruto? Naruto, get back here and tell me you can hear that!"

(Pride, I.M.P. Offices)

"Wow. You look like shit." Loona snorted as the office door opened and the beat up form of her co-workers walked in. She tapped at her phone here and there, eyes glancing up when a larger form followed the other two. They darted down back to her phone as the door swung shut. "Blitzø, I need some cash to get some more coffee later, tell me you got paid up front for the Bird-Guy's babysitting job? Blitzø? Tch, are you seriously giving me the silent treatment? Fucking..–fine! Dad, I asked you a fucking–! ...Whoa."

The Hellhound's eyes exploded into saucers and her jaw popped open as she looked up to find a large, lean and half-dressed Hound-like demon she'd never seen before that stared down at her with an arched brow above his left eye. Both of the eyes were a startling shade of blue and – the bulge in those tight, burnt black shorts was impossible to miss – he had some black circles around those damnably pretty eyes that led up to two long ears. They looked extremely biteable, and his orange fur coat did nothing to hide the absolutely ripped build he had going on. His lips, a deep black that reminded her of the charcoal that warmed the orphanage on cold nights, pulled up into a wry smile on a muzzle that looked just large – and not to mention phallic – enough to fit perfectly between her legs.

Was this...Lust at first sight? Because, um, Loona was not ready for it. At fucking all.

"Yeah, I dunno who you think you're talking to, but Stolas wanted me to drop this Imp off here along with those two." The Tall Sexy Orange Hellhound nodded at the married morons that collapsed on the office's dumpster-dive obtained couch. The words he let out rumbled from the voice that did very little to quell the heat that built up in Loona's core.

Shit. Did her makeup look good? Her hair? She barely remembered how the morning went because it was just another fucking start to the day. She was not expecting to run into this total hunk in this shithole of a city!

"Uh...Huh. Yeah, um. You can just drop him...wherever." Loona finished the word with a gulp as her eyes struggled not to roam. He had to be nine feet, maybe nine and a half feet tall, easily. And if the rumors about Tall Hounds that every tabloid and article in any magazine or app she's ever read were right...woof.

"Alright."

Blitzø's unconscious form dropped to the floor with a shrug from the Tall Sexy Orange Hellhound who had shoulders the size of Loona's head. Shit, she was so not ready for this kind of interaction. The Tall Sexy Orange Hellhound stretched his arms up above his head and yawned. That was an amazing sight.

"Well, this has been a fucking productive morning. Shit, I gotta get back to Bee's before she thinks I'm slacking off on purpose." He muttered, his gaze aimed at the wall behind Loona's head and allowing her to soak in and memorize the contour of his torso. Merciful fuck, she'd bet if someone tried to cut his chest with diamonds the diamond would break first!

Then, the guy grinned down at her and Loona felt her black heart leap into her throat, right alongside the titanium stomach all Hellhounds had.

"Hope whoever you're talking about gives you that cash you need..uh.."

"Loona! I'm Loona. Two 'o's that aren't silent ..oh fuck, Blitzø's stupid habits are rubbing off on me," Loona said with flattened ears. The Tall Sexy Orange Hellhound barked out a laugh and grinned at her.

"Well, I'm Naruto. One 'o', completely audible. Pleased to meet you, Loona, with two O's." He winked and fuck, he was joking with her. Not making fun, right? Like, he was just cracking wise? Shit, say something, anything! No, wait, say something cool! Or at the very least clever! Quick before he–oh, that ass was lethal for any sort of rational or coherent thought. And that tail looked so fucking soft! "I've gotta head out and check on some others, hit me up if you ever need anything."

Hit him up? How? Wait, he was going? Correction, he's gone. Shit. Loona sank into her seat with a whine. She missed her shot, goddammit. This stupid rut she was in was so fucking–! Hello, is that a card on her desk?! When did–?

"Hellhound Services: Search and Rescue Division?" Loona read off of the small card and turned it over. A bunch of characters she didn't recognize was set up in the background of the Tall Sexy Orange Hellhound, Naruto's, name – Na-Ru-To, she'd have to commit that name to memory – and a ten digit number. A phone number.

"Oh shit, did I just score his phone number without doing anything?!" Loona grinned and felt her tail start to wiggle at the tip. She didn't bother trying to hide it, most of the ones who would annoy her about it were too out of it to give a shit. She chewed on her lip and quickly put the number into her phone before she got up and walked over to frisk Blitzø for his business card to order some coffee.

She was so energized by the whole interaction, she didn't bother looking the hot guy up. All she could do was think about meeting up with him down the line...and what kind of coffee binge she was going to go on.

(Gluttony, Bee's Mansion)

Dropping Stolas' hired Imp bodyguards off at their office and then checking in on Maureen one last time took all of three minutes, but it was worth it to see her smiling and laughing with Octavia and a nervous Stolas, who'd said he'd mention the issue to his wife later. Yeah, and Naruto would swear Ramen off for the rest of his existence. He doubted Stella would know about anything until he showed up later that week. That is, if he could get his girlfriend to give him some funds for the renovation he had to work on.

The odds were slim that she wouldn't, but he'd still been away from the Ring for a grand total of twenty minutes since she'd hinted at wanting some 'back door' action. His girlfriend could only be patient for so long before it started to affect her temper. It told him a lot that he hadn't started to get any memories from his clones' dispelling prematurely. That being said, it was only a matter of time.

Naruto got two steps into the mansion before he had his arms full of his sweet, bubbly girlfriend that absolutely reeked of Horny. And he wasn't talking about in a demonic way. Her 'honey' was seeping into his roasted pants – getting everyone out of the now defunct Loo-Loo Land was not simple nor easy, and he had to sacrifice a good portion of his pants in his efforts to save other visiting demons faster than they could see him – and her claws danced around his chest. Her teeth nipped at his neck and jawline around several deep huffs.

"Awesome, you're still only half dressed! And you smell a little crispy? Mm. Smells good, like carnival popcorn." Bee purred into his neck as she bit into him. She tugged her head back and her wings beat rapidly as she pulled him towards the stairs without breaking contact with his body. "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! I was losing my friggin' mind waiting for you, Gummy Bear! What, did you get talked into playing a few games with the Pup while you took her back to Addie? Not cool, you could have invited me with you! You should have anyway, I told you–!"

A quick double substitution with the gag Loosifer Pillow – the first to escape her heavy clutch, and the second to reposition himself as he held her – was followed by a deep kiss that cut her off. Bee relaxed into it and whined when he broke away to rub his nose against hers.

"Bae-Bee, calm down." Naruto chuckled as he held onto her wonderfully thick thighs with his hands and gently traced nonsense patterns into her skin with his index fingers' claws. She growled and buzzed at him and he gave her another quick kiss. "Mo's fine. Stolas put Octavia into a funk and she didn't know what to do, so she called me. It was just a puppy trying to do what's best for her friend."

"She could've stolen the bird's phone and searched the Sinisternet first! Pup wouldn't have interrupted us that way." Bee grumbled. Naruto huffed in amusement and dipped his head to nip and nibble at his girlfriend's cute neck. The Queen of Gluttony soon started to whimper at his precise ministrations. "Gummy Bear, c'mon! Don't tease me! I want your junk in my trunk!"

"You are such a needy little queen, Bae-Bee." He muttered into her neck as he walked her away from the main entrance and towards one of her many spare rooms. "Don't you wanna hear about the sad Pride Pup that I met? She's just your type."

"I want you to ram my asshole first. Then you can tell me all about whatever sad puppies you met and cheered up." Bee whined at him. Her claws kneaded and dug into his shoulders and traps as she bit on and gnawed at his ear. "C'mon, Gummy Bear, don't leave me hanging!"

"Who, me? Ignore my Bae-Bee when she's needy?" Naruto chuckled and nipped at the space above her collar. He kicked the guest bedroom door open and carried her over to the double bed that resided within. Her oscillating tail wound around his waist as he laid her back onto the mattress he climbed onto and pulled back to grin down at her. "Never."

"Fucking tease." She accused without any heat as her legs tightened around him. Her claws on her right hands scratched at the spot on his left shoulder and a reflexive rumble emitted from Naruto's throat and chest. Bee, oscillating hair splayed beneath her head, grinned up at him. "Does that feel good, Gummy Bear?"

"You know my answer to that." Naruto rumbled a bit louder on purpose as he pushed his big dark nose down against her cute little heart-shaped one. His right hand's middle claw prodded a bit further up her crack and she let out a pleased buzz of her own that made his grin widen. "How do you want it, Bae-Bee? Face to face? Carry and pump? Or...Do you want me to take you like a proper bitch?"

"Fuck!" Bee squirmed and groaned as he teased her inner thighs and the sensitive skin around the sphincter. Her upper set of hands cradled his jaw and her lips captured his. Their lips mashed and molded over and over before she allowed him to break away. Her red eyes stared into his as their chests heaved. "How do you wanna screw me?"

"Bae-Bee, I don't care." Naruto chuckled and pecked her muzzle again. "It's your craving, tell me what you need."

"Well, in that case...Dom me, Daddy." Bee gnawed on her lips as her tail tightened around him before it splayed at her side. Her lower hands started to stroke and caress his chest while the upper set hooked around his neck. She rubbed her muzzle against his and practically purred. "Bee's been a good little puppy and wants to be treated by Daddy's big, fat knot."

"You have the weirdest kinks, Bae-Bee," Naruto said with a small laugh. He grinned down at her with all teeth. "But if you want to be my good little puppy...Flip over, and show Daddy that cute little ass."

Bee giggled as they got into the roleplay she desired for this indulged session of lust. It was an activity they'd spend the next four hours participating in. They were completely and utterly focused on each other and ignored the existence of the rest of Hell.

(Pride, Stolas' Mansion)

"Did you have a fun day out, Bastard?" Stella sneered at her husband once Octavia and her HellPuppy left the foyer. She shoved a newspaper into his chest. "Did that little Imp Slut tickle your fancy the right way in front of our daughter?!"

"It's already made the papers?" Stolas sighed and dismissed his official outwear for something more casual, before he looked at the print shoved into his chest. He grimaced at the picture of him schmoozing up to his Blitzy at Loo-Loo Land, Octavia in the background giving him a side eye while Maureen pulled her toward something to do. When did that happen? Ugh, he hadn't been paying attention to his daughter or her Hellpup in the slightest!

Shit, he just remembered the confrontation he had with the Hound of Hell...

(Greed, Loo-Loo Land)

Approximately ten minutes before Loo-Loo Land's total destruction, Stolas stared with wide eyes into the blazing blue gaze of Cerberus, who had a large hand latched onto his face. Lucifer's Left Hand, the Hound of Hell, the Twelfth Labor of Heracles, his epithets were all as impressive as they were infamous. And he was squeezing Stolas's face in his grasp.

"Why am I not fucking surprised to find you looking for your daughter and her pup?" The Beast of Job growled into his face. His grip tightened and Stolas fought back a moan. What?! He was a bottom well before he was a Prince, but he wasn't a fucking idiot! The eyeshine of Cerberus flared with the same intensity one only saw in furious Hellhounds. "The very same pup I told you to take care of? The one I was told – in your own fucking words – that you would treat as if your own? Is this how you treat your own fucking daughter?! As a fucking afterthought?!"

"L-Lord Cerberus, please, I–!"

"Will explain. Succinctly. Now!" Cerberus barked the last word and Stolas would swear on the Forbidden Name of Evil that the air burned with the demand.

"I-I saw an escape to be had from Stella's inane shrieks, and a way to rekindle a proper relationship with Octavia–hurk!" Stolas gasped as his airway was blocked. "I swear, sire! Those were my intentions, purely and entirely!"

"...Be grateful I can smell lies, Prince Stolas." Cerberus growled and his grip slackened enough for the Goetia Prince to stand under his own power. Stolas clutched at his throat and coughed furiously, whilst simultaneously fighting back the raging demonic power that raced to his loins. Again, Stolas was self-aware; he knew that he prioritized being a bottom before acting as a Prince. He looked up as Cerberus crossed his arms. "This won't work while you and your wife continue to bicker and argue. Be grateful that Octavia has taken so well to Maureen and vice versa, or she would suffer the same fate as her 'Happily Married' parents."

"Y-yes, sire." Stolas gulped at the threat. He ducked his head as Cerberus narrowed his eyes. "Did...Do you have a suggestion?"

"Kill or divorce your bitch of a wife, obviously."

"Ugh, but Goetia divorces are so...so messy and I don't want to drag Octavia through–"

"Then send her to live elsewhere, unaffiliated with either line, until you two fucking settle the matter." Growled the Hound of Hell once more. Stolas blinked. Unaffiliated? Where would Stolas be able to send his daughter that was considered unaffiliated?

Unless...

"D-Do you have–?"

"They can't come with me. Not now. Tell your bitch that we will be meeting to discuss your daughter's place. Just the three of us." Cerberus' specification had Stolas' shoulders sag with relief. He had absolutely no fucking desire to face down against a Sin when negotiating a sanctuary for his daughter while his wife acted so hostile. The Sin's apparent paramour, however, was another matter altogether.

It didn't hurt that Stolas, erm, preferred the male form, to put it lightly. Making Octavia was one of the hardest things for him to accomplish, but drugs from Lust, Gluttony's finest alcohol, a smidge of Demonic Magic and an abundance of a teenage demon's hormones saw him through that particular endeavor. Oh, as did the paper bag he'd made to enchant whoever viewed it into thinking they were with the proper partner.

"Stolas." Right, the Left Hand of Lucifer was giving him instructions. He should focus on that rather than the power and posture the Hound of Hell took. Fuck, it was times like this that Stolas wished Blitzy had been more recepient to his advances earlier in the day.

"Sorry, Sire. I will, erm, inform Stella of the development."

"…After you take care of your fucking kid. Right?"

Shit, yes, Octavia was still out there unattended! Well, she had her puppy, but he'd rather not risk anything happening to the puppy. Stella had actually come around to her presence and there was the whole threat of painful death hanging over his head by the very Hound in front of him.

"Y-Yes, sire! Of course!" Stolas nodded.

"Good. They're that way." Cerberus threw a thumb over his shoulder and crossed his arms. "Now if you'll excuse me, there's a few fires I need to go stomp out or piss on."

"Right, of course, sire." Stolas stepped out of the Hound of Hell's way and let out another relieved sigh. He perked up at the sound of a happy Pup's giggle and headed towards it. "Octavia? Maureen?!"

"Over here, Dad."

(Pride, Stolas' Mansion)

Stella scowled at her 'husband' as he scanned over the paper. Ugh, just the thought of trying to reconcile with this-this-this failed excuse of a Demonic Prince was irritating. He was a spineless, thin, limp-dicked pushover. Any sort of fight would give her something to work with, something she could use to justify her leaving him and taking Octavia with her. And Maureen, too, of course.

The little dear was quite timid at first, when she'd come home with them, and quite understandably so. Stella had to, ugh, apologize for her treatment of the little thing in Gluttony. After being..scolded, Stella had to think about the new addition to her life and observed the way Octavia interacted with her. It wasn't like she was one of Andrealphus' Queefs – a mindless little runt of a demon that would sooner piss on her floor at her brother's demand; no, she was not a fan of the species, what told you that? – but Maureen also wasn't an Imp. She was – dare Stella think it of a lesser demon? – a very clever girl, one worthy of being in the same house.

Already reading, spelling and speaking better than most of the Imp servants thrice her age. It was a right shame she was caught chewing on Stolas' mother's favorite dining chair. Frankly, Stella thought the fucking ugly thing was uncomfortable and tacky, and she would know, as it was gifted for the Lady of the House to use. Which Stella was.

A Lady of Stolas' House. A very, very scorned and neglected Lady of a Demon Prince's House! One that desperately needed attention, proper discipline and to feel the massive, powerful touch of a Male on her aching nethers! A Male that was larger than her, older than her, and far more powerful than Paimon...or at least, that's what some in depth readings suggested was the case.

Stella had originally thought only a Sin or a Higher Tier Goetia would claim that role. Then came their venture to Gluttony – a disgustingly humid Ring that she'd never venture to again if possible; her down feathers were still sticky..and not in a good way! – where Octavia would bring a darling new addition into their home, and where Stella would find a new focus for her, ahem, nightly fantasies.

Blue eyes brighter than the light of any newborn star, orange fur as vibrant as that in a tangled nebula, claws and lips as black as the void, itself! And that voice, colder than the depths of space and the power, no! The authority it carried with each word!

Stella clamped her beak shut to stifle a moan as she was dragged back to being in Cerberus' grip, her neck on the cusp of breaking with a flex of his mighty arm. He could have simply killed her and been done with it, but no, he chose to educate her. In a demeaning manner, certainly, but it also acted as a warning: If she pushed Stolas too far, he could easily break and get away with her murder.

In the grander scheme of things, Stella's role was complete. She had Prince Stolas' heir, birthed a beautiful daughter, and lived a lavish lifestyle without wanting for anything.

Well, she wouldn't mind being in a marriage where her own fucking bed wasn't defiled by the stain of Imp jism! That didn't seem to be too much to ask for, was it? Stolas could fuck all the fucking Imps he wanted for all she cared! As long as no one had found out and it wasn't in her damned bed, she didn't give a flying shit!

But no, this was the hand Hell had deigned to deal out to her. This miserable sham of a marriage, forced into by a King she only met fucking twice – once at her wedding, and a second time at her daughter's hatching – was all she had. Hence, her onslaught of fantasies caused by the muscular, furred, powerful, and (possible) progenitor of Hellhounds. Yet, obtaining her own 'Red Rocket' to entertain herself with at night had only staved off so much of her needs.

I must get another chance to meet him. She thought as Stolas started to stammer out some pitiful excuse about his outing. Oh, did the knock off theme park he had fond memories of get burned down? Tough shit. Stella dismissed him with a scoff and turned to leave. Cerberus is the current paramour of Queen Bee-Lzebub, and she supposedly shacks up with various Hounds regularly, perhaps I can use that–

"..And Lord Cerberus wishes to stop over so that we can discuss a way for him to grant Octavia sanctuary as an unaffiliated third party while we figure out our, erm, marital issues."

Stella's thoughts about sneaking back into Gluttony without Stolas becoming aware ground to a furious halt. She whipped around to stare at him.

"What the fuck did you just say?!"

"Let's be honest, Stella, we both knew this sham wouldn't last–"

"Oh, fuck off with that apologetic shit, you know what I meant! Granted, miraculously, you aren't wrong," Stella said as she glared at the spineless bitch she called her husband. "Cerberus is coming here?"

"Yes? To discuss how we can get Octavia and Maureen out of, erm, the line of fire, as it were." Stolas folded his arms under his chest and shifted on his feet. "Look, Stella, you and I can agree that above all else, Octavia's happiness and safety matters more than our...dislike for one another."

"Of fucking course it does!" Stella snapped with a scowl on her face. Was he calling her a shit mother?! He was the one that had started to ignore their daughter, not her! Still, he kept trying to change the subject from what she needed to know. She sneered at him. "Did he happen to say when he'd be arriving? Would we have to expect Queen Bee-Lzebub as well?"

"Er, no, but I can assume it will be sometime in the near future."

"Oh, is that all? Near future? Hm, shame we can't fucking narrow that down," Stella said with narrowed eyes as Stolas glared back at her. Oh wonderful, he found his spine. "It isn't as if one of us doesn't have fucking access to astrological and prophetic magic!"

"You know it doesn't work that way!"

"Just like I knew you wouldn't defile the sanctity of our fucking bed!"

"Oh, would you just let it go, already?!"

"No!"

Alas, Stella was a simple demon. High ranking, yes, but simple. Had she been able to focus on something other than her husband's very public infidelity, perhaps she would have remembered to make a plan for the Hound of Hell's inevitable arrival.

Oh, well.

(Gluttony, Bee's Mansion)

"Mm, that was great, G-Bear...fuck, now I'm hungry." Bee hummed as she nuzzled her boyfriend's chiseled chest. Her asshole throbbed like a motherfucker just went to town on it – oh, yeah, technically one did – and her cheeks stung from the smacks accompanied by the 'rough' play. Thankfully, her Gummy Bear was the fucking King of Aftercare. He was stroking down her untamable mane with one hand while the other rested behind his head. She glanced up at him. "You?"

"I could eat something, but I don't wanna move." Gummy Bear's delectable lips pulled up into his sexy smile as he cracked his eyes open to look at hers. "BeeEats?

"Yeah, BeeEats!" Bee grinned back at him and used one hand to bring her Hellphone into this plane of existence. She opened her favorite App and flicked her thumb up the screen. "What should we order?"

"I'm fine with whatever you're feeling, babe. Nothing too sweet, though."

"So, no AssCreams?" That was a great FroYo place down on Lax Snore Drive, a street in Beelzehaven that Bee named on a whim while she was on the phone with Belphegor one time.

"No, please. Spare me that headache. I think I want something crunchy." Naruto rumbled, his whole torso vibrated as he spoke low. Fuck, that felt great on her sore hips. Bee nibbled on her lip and rubbed her cheek into her Gummy Bear's pec – shit, he fucked her so fucking good – as she considered the many foods they could get that had a crunchy texture.

"So, what'cha thinking? Crunchy and salty?"

"Nah, something more like...Tacos?" He hummed.

"Ooh, fuck yes, Gummy Bear! Tacos rule!" Bee grinned and rolled onto her back to properly cuddle up with her boyfriend. His arms wound around her sides and belly, and her lower set of hands wrapped over them while the upper flicked through the options. "Yo Quiero?"

"Hell yeah, Bae-Bee." His muzzle dipped down to rub into her cheek. A quick kiss to the same spot filled her practiced taste buds with a smidge of Affection and that damned Salty-Sweet Unmentionable Vibe mixed with it. Her ears went rigid when he continued, "You are so fucking cute when you're excited, you know that?"

With ears blazing and a churning feeling that was dangerously close to matching that same fucking Unmentionable Vibe he'd filled her with, Bee had to bite down on her tongue before she said something really fucking stupid. This goddamned sweetheart just did things to her that made her feel like she was more than a fucking Sin! He made her feel like...like...shit, she might have to try and get in contact with Lilith soon, because she's the only bitch that Bee thought might have an idea of what this feeling was and how to fucking deal with it.

"Shuddup, trying to focus." Dammit. She didn't mean to say that!

"I can smell your embarrassment, Bae-Bee." Naruto crooned into her ear and – ugh, fuck, not that! Bee squirmed and whined happily as he nipped on the sensitive antennae that tipped her ear. Fuck, her Gummy Bear was just too fucking sweet sometimes!

"G-Bear!" Bee groaned as he started kissing at the back of her ear. She squirmed some more and fumbled with her phone. Shit, he's so lucky she just finished putting their order in.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I distracting you?" He asked as his amazingly soft tail curled over her legs and his claws started to graze along the sides of her furnace-like stomach.

– Yeah, Bee knows it looks like those funky things humans called 'lava lamps', but it was really more of a constantly fluctuating engine. It was her 'turbo tummy', to quote her late lover Hugh Man; it revved often, and ran constantly. Though here's a fun fact – one that's not known to any other demons, even the other Sins, outside of her lovers – each little bit of 'lava' represented an indulgence she would inevitably succumb to. Demonic physiology was fuckin wild! –

It was when his teeth grazed over her freckled cheeks that Bee really lost control of herself.

"Mm, fuck, I love you, Naruto."

He froze and she followed suit a second later as her words caught up with her.

Oh, fucking shit! Goddammit, stupid fucking motor mouth! She didn't want to say it so soon! Now her Gummy Bear was gonna bolt, things would get awkward and then they'd fucking split up! It's what always happened whenever she tried to get too serious with a Hound! It's why she kept it a casual thing, like her parties always had an open door!

Any second now...Any second...Why was he still here? Did his arms tighten around her, or was she imagining it? No, they did and his lips were pressed into her cheek again. What the f–Oh, was he patronizing her? She would kick his sexy tight ass if that were the case.

"Finally." He muttered when his lips pulled away. The tip of his nose and upper part of his muzzle rubbed into the base of her jaw. "I love you, Bee."

Hold on, sorry, um...What?

AN: Okay, that's a wrap folks! They dropped the line, Bee has to wrap her sober head around this development, and maybe next time we'll check back in with Charlie and Vaggie!

Definitely checking back in with them.

Deuces all…Now I want some Taco Bell..