Heading across the marketplace, Jayden kept his focus on putting one foot in front of the other and not tripping. Yet he found himself unable to block out the stares of the people they passed and their whispers about what had happened to him. Glancing at Cauthrien, he realised the look on her face was the reason people were keeping their distance. He was almost grateful when they entered the Chantry, but the feeling of suffocation gripped him; having to force himself to approach the altar before the statue of Andraste upon which his sister's body was laid. The silence of the Chantry changed and glancing up he realised the Sisters had stopped and were standing respectfully. He swallowed painfully as he saw Mother Perpetua, her face pale, eyes filled with sorrow. She gave a slight nod before ushering the Sisters back to their duties. Hands shaking, he focused on the wreaths, candles and other tokens that surrounded the altar, before finally allowing his gaze to drift to her face. Magic had ensured Anora would not decompose before her body was given to the flame and she looked peaceful, almost as though she was sleeping. "I'm sorry." Jayden murmured, his hand resting lightly on hers, the coldness of her skin enough to remind him she was gone. He stood for some time, his mind drifting to their childhood, aching for the years stolen from them and the time wasted in anger. Grief tore at him, but he couldn't afford to publicly break down. Moving away he took two candles and settled himself before the altar. Hands shaking Jayden lit a candle. "I hope you found peace, sister." He lit the second, his head bowing. "Erlina, I honour your service to my sister and I am so sorry blood magic stole your final moments and that I believed the worst of you. I swear to you both here and now that if I survive what is to come, I will find Eloen and she will face justice. There will be nowhere she can hide."

xXx

Having gathered the Templars, he felt were best suited to the task, Seeker Greyfor moved to the altar where the Queen lay, her brother kneeling beside her. Knowing now who the young man truly was, had been less of a surprise than he had expected and explained many things. The Grand Cleric had spoken to him of the truths revealed at the Landsmeet and their duty now lay in ensuring the Champion had not been corrupted in any way by the blood magic used upon him. "Forgive me my Lord, but I must speak with you." He raised an eyebrow when Jayden didn't respond. He waited a moment and then gently cleared his throat. "William, I apologise but I must speak with you immediately."

Glancing up at the Seeker, Jayden noticed the Templars with him feeling anxiety constrict his throat, realising their purpose. He had wanted to find a place to be alone to scream out the grief, but it appeared that for the moment at least, that was to be denied him. "May I have another moment?"

"Of course." Greyfor moved slightly away as Jayden bowed his head once more, halting as Ser Cauthrien stepped into his path. "Yes?"

"Must whatever you are going to do, be done now?" Cauthrien stated sharply. "Has he not been through enough?"

"It is precisely because of what he has been through that this cannot wait. I am aware you are here to protect him, but this must be done."

Easing himself to his feet Jayden pressed his forehead lightly to Anora's. "Until we meet again, sister." Turning he met Greyfor's neutral gaze. "I'm ready."

"I am sorry this must be done now."

"Better now than later, it will avoid all the uncertainty."

"Just so, my Lord."

Jayden winced. "That sounds so wrong, please just call me Will."

"As you wish."

"How long will this take?"

"It should take no more than an hour, give or take."

Cauthrien scowled as she moved to join them, a Templar pressing a hand to her chest preventing her. "Remove your hand." She growled.

"Remain here." Ser Kirath demanded.

Cauthrien glanced at Jayden who nodded slightly. "If you harm him in any way …"

"We do not seek to harm him." Greyfor stated in a calm, soothing voice. "This is for his protection as much as anyone else's."

"It's alright Cauthrien, it's better to get this over and done with. Let's not give Eamon any more to hold against me. If I am not back in two hours, come looking for me."

"That is unnecessary." Greyfor stated, trying not to be offended.

Jayden met his gaze, his expression hard and cold. "Forgive me, but my capacity for trust is a little limited at the moment." He glanced at the Templars. "And I am outnumbered."

"We only seek to ensure and more likely simply confirm you are free of any blood magic influence, as I said it is not our intention to harm you."

"Then let's get this done, I have work to do." He felt a shudder run through him as the Templars took positions around him and Greyfor led the way further into the Chantry, casting a glance back and seeing Cauthrien's worried expression. He was led to a room at the back of the Chantry, it was empty apart from a single chair, lit only by candlelight as there were no windows. Jayden froze, his heart pounding wildly, his breathing laboured. "I can't go in there." He whispered. "Can we do it in the inner courtyard, where I can see the sky and feel fresh air?"

Feeling his heart ache at the plea, Greyfor nodded. "It is unorthodox, but given the circumstances we will adapt." He led the way to the courtyard. Several additional Templars took positions at the doors leading into the courtyard, shutting them to give them privacy and ensure they would not be disturbed. The five who had escorted him took positions around the courtyard.

Despite the cold, Jayden was grateful for the concession, easing himself onto a bench, one of the Templars having surprisingly put a cushion down and handed him a thick woollen cloak.

"First I must ask you what form the blood magic took; I assume she attempted to alter your memories."

Jayden glanced at the Seeker, to reveal the truth meant telling them what had happened to Cailan and he was not about to betray him now. "She could not access my memories, but she did access a fragment of fear from my childhood."

"Explain."

"When I was kidnapped as a child, the woman in charge was very clear about what would happen to me once I was taken to the emperor. I would be returned to my father in pieces and I would be kept alive for as long as physically possible. She drilled that image into me, of me chained to a slab in some Maker forsaken Orlesian dungeon. My fingers would be removed first and then my hands and then whatever else they chose to remove." He closed his eyes, taking a moment to steady himself, aware that despite their neutral expressions, Greyfor and the Templars were shocked. "I do not know how she accessed it, perhaps because I was in a dungeon, Vaughan's threats had been similar, but that fear, that image of what the emperor would do, that is what she replayed over and over in my mind." He stared at his hands, clenching and releasing in an effort to remind himself they were real. Shaking his head trying to dispel the image of mutilated hands, he forced himself to look at the Seeker. "She also tried to alter my memories, to have me believe Fergus tortured me. My mind is my own, but that does not mean I am the same as I was before."

"Thank you for your honesty. Is there anything else?"

Jayden thought about Anders, but he had no intention of revealing him either. "She tortured me physically in an attempt to break my mind, using fire and lightning within my body. I assume she used elemental, not blood magic, but I can't be sure." He turned sharply as the Seeker stood behind him. "Whatever you are going to do, can it be done with you standing where I can see you?"

Nodding Greyfor moved his position. "Try to relax."

xXx

Pacing anxiously, Cauthrien paused as a Sister moved over to her.

"You will wear a hole in the floor." Theohild stated.

"My apologies."

"None needed." She leaned closer, a conspiratorial air around her. "I was pacing over there, but I know Seeker Greyfor, he will do what he needs to as quickly as he can. Perhaps you would sit with me for a moment, my legs aren't what they used to be." She smiled as Cauthrien took a seat on the bench beside her. "I suspect you were one of his boyhood protectors. Who he is, is common knowledge now, that lad has been through enough, but there is more to come, he will need you."

"He has me."

"Good. Has he seen Airyl yet?" She sighed at the shake of her head. "Well, I reckon Airyl should be here for them finishing. Whatever he is experiencing now and has experienced, I would imagine seeing her will bring a bit of light into that heart of his." Smiling Theohild patted her hand and winced as she got to her feet, her knees aching. "Right then, back to pacing for you if you feel it necessary, I will arrange for Airyl to be here."

"Thank you." Cauthrien's gaze was pulled to Anora, the pain of her heart expanding. I will protect your brother, I swear it.

xXx

Feeling exhausted Jayden glanced at the Seeker. "Are you satisfied I am myself and without corruption?"

"I am."

"Good, then may we speak alone?"

Greyfor nodded to the Templars who left the courtyard, closing the doors behind them to maintain their privacy. "What do you wish to speak about?"

"If I survive what is coming, I would like to take you up on your offer of joining the Seekers."

Greyfor hesitated and met his intense gaze. "No."

Staring in disbelief Jayden eased himself to his feet. "I thought you wanted me to join the Order!"

"I did. I still do, especially with your level of innate ability to defend yourself against blood magic. I can only imagine how powerful the training will make you should you be successful."

"If it is about who I really am, I can't be the Teyrn of a place that no longer exists."

"That is indeed relevant, but not my reasoning. At this moment in time, you are coming from a place of anger, grief and fear and that is not the Seeker I need by my side." He gently gripped Jayden's shoulder. "Once this is done, grieve, heal and then we shall talk again."

Swallowing back the protest knowing it would do him no good, Jayden nodded. He had no idea how he was supposed to heal from what he had experienced and he suspected that his sister's death would become sharper over time rather than easing. Forcing himself to move he headed out of the courtyard, he had work to do and thinking about it wasn't going to help with that. He hesitated as he saw Sister Theohild, feeling anxiety build, but to his relief she moved to his side and gently hugged him.

"I am so sorry my dear boy." She whispered.

"I'm sorry I lied about who I am … I …"

"Hush now, that isn't important. All that matters is you are alive and out of the clutches of those evil men. I know you will be busy, but I am always here for you."

Tears slipped down his cheeks, his throat constricting in the effort to hold back the sob.

After some time Theohild pulled back. "Go on now, Cauthrien is worried enough and there is someone else who wants to see you."

Wiping his cheeks he nodded, grateful for her warm smile and headed to the public section of the Chantry seeing the doors open and Gabriel enter, Airyl racing towards him. She stopped a few paces short looking him over, a soft whine vibrating in her throat. Easing himself to the floor Jayden met her gaze.

Finally, Airyl stepped forward, nudging his head with hers, leaning against him as he hugged her.

Smiling slightly as she began licking the top of his head, Jayden waited patiently until she had finished, her soft huff loud in his ear. He gently ran his hands over her checking for injury, finding none. "I felt your pain." He stated softly. "So, I assume you felt mine." He sighed at her steady gaze leaning against her again. "This makes things tricky." He murmured. "We will figure this out later, for now we better go see Brom." He stood with some difficulty and moved back to the altar gazing at his sister, his throat constricting. At Airyl's soft whine he gently rested a hand on her head, grateful for her reassuring presence. "I will protect our people, Anora, I swear." He brought his arm to his chest and then turned as swiftly as he was able and limped down the aisle, to where Cauthrien and Gabriel were waiting for him. "It's good to see you, Gabe. I need to speak to Captain Brom."

"You need healing." Cauthrien muttered.

"Dylan and Reece are at the barracks so he can get healing there." Gabriel stated, turning to Jayden. "So … you're a Lord. Damn, we all knew you were hiding something, but I would never have guessed that."

"I'm still me."

Grinning Gabriel nodded. "Glad to hear it. Right, let's get you healed." He led the way, noting that those training in the yard stopped and watched them until they entered the barracks. "Better get used to that." He chuckled softly at Jayden's low groan. "Yeh, I don't even think your stealth skills will be enough to keep you unnoticed."

"Fabulous."

Cauthrien smiled slightly. "I will alert Captain Brom you are here and that you will see him after you have received healing."

"I should see him first." He raised an eyebrow at Cauthrien's sigh. "It's about respect."

Nodding Cauthrien stood aside.

Knocking on the office door Jayden felt a flicker of nerves at Brom's gruff voice muttering to enter. Heading in he closed the door behind him, Airyl remaining tight to his leg. "Captain."

Brom stood and looked him over. "Well, you're in one piece at least. I was a bit worried about the Templars." He smiled slightly at Jayden's raised eyebrow. "Kara keeps me informed and there is little happening that she doesn't know. That was quite the show you put on at the Landsmeet. You had us all fooled, bloody glorious it was seeing that bastard admitting everything like that after all the lies he had spouted. One day you will have to tell me how you did that. Anyway, how are you feeling?"

"Like an ogre used me as a practice dummy."

"Well Enchanters Dylan and Reece should be able to help with that." He shifted slightly revealing his discomfort. "So, it's Lord Jayden then, the general's son no less." Rubbing his neck he nipped at his lip. "To be honest I am not quite sure how to address you."

"Same as you always do. I was trained not to answer to Jayden, that's not going to change overnight and technically William is my name."

Smiling Brom shook his head before gesturing to the seat and sitting down himself. "So, in charge of the whole army then."

"Apparently so."

"So, what's first?"

"You don't have a problem with that?"

"Any reason I should?"

"My age, lack of experience, being unfit due to torture and any other you can think of."

Leaning forward Brom kept his voice low. "Between me and you, Arl Eamon wants to keep his bloody mouth shut. Damn fool doesn't know what he's talking about. Anyone who has trained with you, or been trained by you would know better. Now, like I said, what's first?"

Feeling the tension of his body ease a fraction, Jayden let out a huff of breath. "Changing you from Acting Captain to Captain for a start." He shrugged at Brom's startled look. "Like you said I have the whole army to coordinate; besides, my promotion was made on the battlefield, we both know you are the rightful Captain. I doubt Captain Varril ever intended for me to keep that once back in Denerim."

"You're wrong. After you joined us, it didn't take him long, it didn't take any of us long to see your potential. Your promotion might have been made out of necessity, but you being Captain, he always intended that for you"

"Maybe, but things have changed now."

"We will follow you into the Void, you have to know that."

"That's exactly what you will be doing Brom, but I need you to lead the Denerim Guard as you have been doing, this is just making it official."

"And when this is over?"

"You will still be Captain."

"What about you?"

"If I survive, I'm sure the Chantry will keep me busy with this whole Champion thing."

Brom shook his head. "Are you really going to settle into the Chantry way of life?"

"Not exactly, but I can't ignore they are a powerful organisation and they will make sure they have some influence on my life, besides, handled carefully they could be useful." He took a deep breath. "Right, let's get this done. We better call the Company together."

"You go see about some healing first. I will call everyone together in an hour, it will give me a chance to get in those on patrol."

Nodding Jayden saluted and left the office finding Gabriel waiting for him and leading the way, Cauthrien following behind them, directing him to the room they had once shared. He hesitated as he saw Dylan, Reece and Matthew, an anxious looking Tess, Lawrence and Terrance were also there.

"How are you feeling?" Tess asked gently.

"I survived." He shifted uncomfortably at her wince.

"So … you're a Lord."

Sighing Jayden closed his eyes, wanting the floor to open up and swallow him. "I didn't want to lie to you, to anyone."

Lawrence closed the door. "Whatever your title, you are my Captain and my friend. This doesn't change that. We all have secrets, sure yours is bigger than I anticipated, but we all knew you've been hiding your life."

"We get it Will." Reece worried at his lip. "Or do we call you Jayden now when we are being informal?"

"That would be Lord." Terrance snapped, surprising them.

"Will is fine. Terrance I …" He fell silent as Terrance crossed his arms, glancing to Cauthrien seeing the tension of her body and praying she didn't start berating his fellow soldier.

"Trust is everything, you know that and you have lied to us from day one!"

"Terrance!" Lawrence hissed. "It's not like he didn't have a bloody good reason."

"He's right." Jayden stated softly, forcing himself to look at Terrance. "But don't for one moment think this was easy for me. That bastard tore me from my family, my friends, my home, so forgive me for trying to make something of a life for myself. You might not have known all of my name, but we have trained, drunk, fought and bled together. That wasn't a lie."

A slow smile crept across Terrance's face. "I just figured you needed to remind yourself of that." He smirked at their shocked faces.

Jayden shook his head slightly, just thinking about the number of conversations he would have like this was exhausting.

Settling herself on the edge of the bed, Tess discretely watched Jayden. She thought about their time together, and realised it was surprisingly easy to imagine him as a Lord now they knew the truth.

"Were the Templars … did they hurt you?" Lawrence asked cautiously.

"No, it's not a particularly pleasant process, but it isn't painful. Of course, if I had actually been enthralled that would be a different story." He knew they wanted to ask about what had happened in Vaughan's dungeon, but he had no intention of discussing it.

"Well, we can talk about all of this later." Dylan stated firmly. "But I think healing you is more important. I will scan you first, find out what we are dealing with."

Jayden shifted uncomfortably as soon as the magical energy touched him, clenching his jaw and forcing himself to remain still.

Dylan paled. "When they find Eloen I'm going to kill her." He growled. "Vaughan too, the bastard." He flushed at the startled look of the others and Jayden's slightly raised eyebrow. "This will take a while. Didn't they give you any healing?"

"A few potions I was allowed to make for myself."

"Alright, well I suggest you take off that tunic so I can get a visual and I will make a start."

Hesitating only a moment realising no-one had any intention of leaving him, Jayden complied, wincing as the material rubbed against raw flesh. He felt the immediate change in the room, anger and tension flaring. "No point in getting angry about it." He muttered. "It's over and we have more important things to deal with."

"But …" Tess stared at him helplessly, horrified by the wounds she could see, knowing that the damage went far deeper; falling silent at his warning look.

"Alright, I'm going to start." Dylan sent his healing magic as gently as he could across skin torn by the lash and inflamed by infection. He could feel the tension increase in Jayden's body, realising in frustration and anger that it was the feel of the magic itself he was struggling with. He eased off slightly knowing this would take a great deal of time.

Gritting his teeth Jayden shifted in pain and discomfort, his breathing growing laboured with the intrusive feeling of the magic. "Alright you need to stop; I can't cope with the magic. I will just keep using healing potions, they will have to do for now."

Dylan glanced at Reece in frustration before stopping the healing spell. "Hopefully the sensitivity will ease. I would like to try a little healing each day."

Easing on the tunic, Jayden tried to stifle the grunt of pain. "Brom should have the Company gathered by now, we better head out."

xXx

Crossing the training yard Jayden joined Brom on the platform, looking out over the assembled Company, curious and uncertain looks cast his way, keeping his face neutral.

"Best get this done if you're sure." Brom muttered, still uncomfortable with it and stepped forward. "Right, you probably all know what happened at the Landsmeet, but for those of you who somehow missed the gossip mongers, Captain William is actually Lord Jayden Mac Tir, forced from his life by the madness of Arl Howe. He has an announcement he would like to make, so listen up." Stepping back he nodded to Jayden.

Jayden let his gaze drift over all present. "As you are all aware Brom was promoted to Acting Captain in Captain Varril's absence while at Ostagar and I was promoted to Captain on the battlefield by Captain Varril before he died of his wounds. To avoid any confusion, I am stepping down and Brom is now officially Captain of the Denerim Guard." He saw those within the company glance at each other in surprise. He took the key on its chain Varril had given him and held it out to Brom. "It is my honour to pass this to you Captain Brom."

Taking the key and chain Brom brought his hand to his chest, nodding as Jayden returned the gesture.

"In case any of you get the idea you are getting rid of me think again. I will be leading the army and we have a lot to do. The horde will not be resting and neither can we. You might have questions about who I am, but in truth who I am doesn't matter. All that matters is defeating the Darkspawn and they don't give a damn about our social status. We don't have long before they will get here, so train hard, make no mistake your lives depend on it. Get them ready Captain."

"Of course, Champion." Brom turned to the stunned Company, silencing their startled mutterings. "Let me make something very clear to all of you, I hear one word of gossip about the Champion and you will wish you were facing the horde instead of me. Now you heard him, training is doubled and I want no complaining. Dismissed." Brom rubbed his neck trying to ease the tension as the Company moved away. "Kara wondered if you would meet her as soon as possible, the usual place."

"I will go there now."

"Good luck."

Watching as Jayden, Cauthrien and Airyl headed out, Lawrence turned to the others. "I can't believe Will did that."

"I don't suppose he had much choice if you think about it." Tess murmured. "He is in a complicated situation. He's head of the army, Andraste's Champion and if Gwaren hadn't been destroyed he would now be Teyrn." She shook her head. "Not much room in all of that to be Captain."

"Why didn't they make him General?" Terrance demanded glancing around uneasily. "Shouldn't they have made him General if he is leading the army?"

"Politics." Dylan said at last.

"That's not right, not after everything he's done!"

"That's what happens when you have powerful nobles like Arl Eamon against you." Gabriel muttered.

Rubbing his forehead Matthew sighed deeply. "The Arl will be a dangerous enemy."

"Don't worry." Tess stated with a smile. "We have his back."

"I don't think we will be enough." Terrance nipped nervously at his lip.

"I will speak to Kara." Brom stated passing them. "If nothing else she will likely be able to put things in place to give him a heads up if trouble is coming. Now, stop standing around talking and get on with training!" Heading inside he stood in the captain's office, now officially his office and sank into the chair behind the desk. Despite having been Acting Captain for months, now it was official he felt the weight of it as he never had. "One day at a time Brom, just like always."

xXx

Kara gave Jayden a warm smile, nodding to Cauthrien who remained at the door. "I was right about you; you certainly keep things interesting. Should I start calling you, my Lord?" She chuckled at his grimace. "Perhaps just in public then." Nipping at her lip she stood and paced for a moment before sitting on the edge of the desk. "I … do you know it was Erik who betrayed you?" Seeing the flare of shock and anger in his eyes she sighed softly. "I will take that as a no. We have him contained. When you are ready, he is yours to deal with. I … I had no idea he was working for Vaughan. He fooled us all."

Seeing the shame and defeat in her eyes Jayden pushed aside his anger. "We try to see the best in people, sometimes that makes us blind to the truth about them."

"I wouldn't blame you if you feel you can't trust me anymore, but Denerim is my home and I want to be in on your plans for defending it."

Leaning forward Jayden rested his hand gently on hers. "Kara I'm not sure I trust many people now, but this was Erik's betrayal, not yours. You have supported me, risking yourself to do so and you have never given me reason to doubt you." He met her wary gaze. "I trust you Kara and I am going to need your help more than ever."

"Of course, what do you need?"

"I need to catch up on what's been happening in the city and I would appreciate it if you could arrange meetings with the other merc leaders, the Mages Collective and the Red Jennies, separately of course."

"Done. It's good to have you back." She shifted slightly. "About Erik …"

"I can't even think about him right now. Let me get everything else sorted and then I can deal with him."

"Of course. I was going to meet Brom later this evening anyway, we can catch up on everything then and I will arrange the other meetings for tomorrow."

"I have a war meeting at midday, before that would be ideal, but whatever you can arrange."

"I will see to it. I will see who is available later this evening, if you are up for a late night."

"I think it will be late nights from now on until the horde gets here. Right now, I have someone I need to check on, I will see you later on."

xXx

The comfortable rooms Julianna had paid for at the Gnawed Noble Tavern now seemed a little cramped, but they would suit their purposes. Despite none of them having an appetite, Julianna had Thelda order them food. She was concerned about Delilah; finding out she had been influenced by blood magic had been a terrible shock, made worse by the very nature of the spells. She also worried for Jayden, he had not been under a spell and so whatever he had felt had been real. Maker knew what it would mean for both of them with any future potential relationship. Sadly, it was not something that would heal overnight for either of them; and she would speak to her granddaughter in private regarding the terrible betrayal. Shifting her focus, she glanced at her grandson. "I understand why you feel you must stay and fight, but Thomas are you sure about this?"

"I am. It is the right thing to do."

Sighing deeply, Julianna turned to Delilah. "Well, my dear, I know it is difficult to leave, but given the circumstances I believe it is certainly for the best. Ser Rodolphe Varley will allow us to stay with him temporarily."

"Are you sure grandmother?"

"He will not be happy about it, but he will do as he is told."

Thomas hid a slight smile. "If I survive, I will join you. I cannot imagine them bestowing the title of Arl on me. Not after all that we heard today, even if Jayden and Fergus are supportive of me and they may not be."

"You must survive." Delilah stated sharply. "I cannot lose you."

Thomas gently squeezed her hand. "Nothing in battle is certain, but I will have Warin with me."

As an uncomfortable silence fell, Thelda cleared her throat turning to Delilah. "I have something of yours." She handed back the amulet.

"Thank you." Delilah breathed, putting the amulet on immediately. "I should have requested two from that Seer and then none of this mess with Jayden would have happened. We cannot stay with Ser Rodolphe long term. We need to consider a real future. What will we do?" She nipped anxiously at her lip.

Clearing his throat, Warin fought back a rush of nausea. "I have a suggestion. There is somewhere you can go, someone who will welcome you."

"Where?"

"Antiva, to the home of your brother." He winced as their eyes widened seeing Julianna's hand press to her breast, Thelda moving to support her. He saw Delilah's hand arcing towards him. He didn't bother to stop it, feeling the sting of the blow rubbing his cheek and jaw.

"Nate is alive?" Delilah hissed fury and pain burning through her. "How could you do this to us?"

"It was the only way he and his family could be safe from your father and hers, but now Rendon is dead … I have to believe he would want you to know he is alive."

Thomas struggled to swallow. "Nate's alive, and a father?"

"Yes, and you have a niece. You have no idea how hard it was for him to take this course, he did it to protect his daughter from your father, but I have no doubt he will welcome you."

Leaning back into the seat and adjusting her skirts Julianna allowed herself to tentatively feel the joy that was welling within her.

Thomas moved to the window clasping trembling hands. His brother was alive, he had a chance to make things right with him, if he could survive the coming battle. He glanced at Delilah, she was deathly pale, one shock to many in a day full of them. He met her gaze seeing her struggle to hold back tears. "In case things do not go well here, Warin, you will give my grandmother Nate's location."

Julianna clasped her hands to hide their tremble. "We could all leave together now."

"I won't follow in my father's footsteps and abandon my country. I couldn't face Nate if I did." Kneeling down by her chair, Thomas gently took her hands. "I have to do this, please understand."

"I do Thomas, I just wish I could keep you from harm." She squeezed his hands gently. "Rendon may have done his best to destroy the name of Howe, but I believe you might just redeem it." They all turned at the knock. "Well, suddenly I have an appetite, let them in Thelda if you would be so kind." She glanced at Warin. "No more secrets." At his nod she gave a satisfied smile. Perhaps life for her grandchildren would not be as painful as she feared. She glanced at Thomas, if she thought he would forgive her, she would have Thelda drug him to get him on the ship with them, but she was not his father and he had made up his mind. 'Maker please protect my grandchildren; they have suffered enough'.

xXx

Morrigan sat on the edge of the bed knowing he would come, yet still she flinched at the knock on the door. "Tis open."

Jayden slipped into the room keeping the door open, his eyes dark with worry. "Morrigan?" He watched her startled as she moved to the window, her agitation radiating out from her. He moved to her side, close but not touching in case that made things worse. "What has you so troubled?"

"You were right, my mother was right. I saw the future but did not truly understand what I was shown."

"What did you see?"

Morrigan turned to him, feeling wretched; seeing his compassionate gaze, feeling her stomach churn.

"Morrigan please, whatever it is, maybe I can help."

Turning sharply away, Morrigan shook her head. "I thought you could, I was certain it was you." She shuddered as she felt his hands rest gently on her arms, his chest against her back. "Tis you I wanted!"

"Wanted? To do what? Morrigan please I …"

"You cannot help me. I was such a fool." She sucked in a sharp breath as Jayden gently turned her, searching her eyes. "Mother was right, friendship is a weakness. I will have no more to do with it. I will do what I must and if you hate me so be it." She turned from him, her back rigid. "Leave!"

"Is that what you really want?"

Morrigan faltered, the future she had seen, the future she had come to want despite her fears had crumbled to nothing leaving a void in her heart. She had prided herself on her distance to people she needed no one, but as always, he crumbled her barriers with a look or a word. Her tone softened as she turned to him and gently pressed her hand to his chest. "Tis better I end this friendship now."

Jayden gently placed his hand over hers holding it to his chest. "We have been friends through too much to turn from each other now. Morrigan, friendship isn't just about being with each other in the easy times, it's about being there for each other through the terrible as well. I'm scared for the battle too, none of us know if we will survive it, but I do know that your friendship with me has never been a weakness, it has been a strength and I am so sorry if that hasn't been true for you."

Gazing at their hands against his chest and then into his eyes, Morrigan felt only warmth and strength and belonging. "It has been true for me and that is what scares me. Mother taught me to never rely on anyone else, that I only had myself. I never wished for friendship, feared it, fought it, but with you …" She glanced up, sighing softly. "I feel I need to rest after my foolish outburst." Her eyes closed as Jayden pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I'm here for you Morrigan, whatever is going on, when you are ready to talk about it, I'm here."

Nodding Morrigan reluctantly moved away from him, sinking back onto the bed as the door shut behind him. Closing her eyes Morrigan shuddered, her mother had known what she believed, had warned her time and time again, had even created another choice for her in Alistair, but he would never betray his wife. "Perhaps if we had not worked on the preventative, you would have become a Warden and what must be done would have been with you." She whispered taking the dagger Jayden had given her from her boot, a gift she treasured deeply. "Mother was right I will betray you again and again for how can you forgive me for what I have done and for what I must do, for who it must be done with." She thought of Loghain and shuddered painfully. "Damn you Mother!"