Chapter 4

bleep* *bleep* *bleep*

Arizona groaned, everything hurt, more so than normal, her head was splitting with pain. Had she been drunk? No, this felt worse than a hangover. She felt a hand squeeze hers, and she squeezed it back,

"She is waking up" she heard a voice say causing her to frown, it couldn't be, that voice was familiar, safe, but the owner of that voice had left, it had to be a dream, and if it was Arizona didn't want it to end. Didn't want to know Callie wasn't sat by her bedside, holding her hand, it was a nice dream to have, one she didn't want to end, by opening her eyes.

"Can you open your eyes?" a voice said, Arizona frowned, that wasn't Callie's voice. It sounded like Amelia,

"Arizona" the Callie sounded voice called, a light kiss followed to her forehead, Arizona sighed, giving a soft smile, she missed her morning Callie kisses. "Open your eyes" the Callie voice requested,

Arizona shook her head, groaning slightly as it made her head spin,

"Don't want to" she muttered pouting, she liked this dream, this caring Callie, for a moment she could pretend Callie loved her, pretend Callie had flown across the country to be with her.

"Arizonaaaa" Callie called again,

"No, don't want it not to be real" Arizona admitted hating how her voice broke slightly when she said that.

"I'm real baby" Callie promised, "I flew back to be here, open your eyes and you'll see."

"Sofia?" Arizona asked, if Callie was back did that mean Sofia was back too. Even as she said it her eyes opened locking with Callie's brown eyes, "you're here, you're really here" she said, tears running down her face.

"We are here, Sofia is outside with Alex, when Amelia clears you she can come in" Callie explained, Amelia took her cue.

"Follow my light" she said beginning her neuro checks, Arizona did, her eyes kept returning to Callie, she had so many questions.

Why was she here?

When had she come?

How long had she been there?

Where was Sofia?

Where was Penny?

How long where they back for?

"Arizona" Amelia called breaking Arizona's train of thought, "do you know where you are?" she repeated patiently.

"Grey Sloan ICU" Arizona recited easily, "room 5" she said, this was the room Callie had been in after the crash, she recognised the crack on the ceiling in the shape of Africa, something she found ironic at the time.

"Okay, you passed, I'll get Sofia in" she offered. Arizona nodded, all of her questions could wait, she desperately needed to see her daughter.

In she flew,

"mommy" Sofia cried, jumping onto the bed hugging her mom, Arizona hugging her back neither letting go. "I missed you lots and lots"

"I missed you more" Arizona sobbed,

"Nu uh,"

"Uh huh"

"Nu uh"

"Enough" Callie called, "you both missed each other lots" she compromised. She knew from experience that it could go on for ages with them arguing unless she intervened.

"How long are you here for?" Arizona asked, stroking Sofia's hair out of her face, frowning at the bandages on her hands.

"I'm not sure" Callie confessed, "I didn't really think or plan on anything other than making sure you were okay".

"What happened?" Arizona asked, realising for the first time she had no idea why she was in the ICU, the last thing she remembered was getting home from work.

"Sofia, can you get mommy some juice please" Callie requested, not wanting little ears to be present.

Sofia nodded, running out of the room, already planning to get herself one too.

"Do you remember your lesbian patients with the breast cancer?" Callie asked, Arizona nodded,

"They gave me cookies," Arizona recalled, Callie nodded,

"You went home, we think you ate a few" she raised an eyebrow, as Arizona sunk into the bed. Callie had always disapproved of her sugary breakfasts, Callie rubbed Arizona's arm, not blaming her, in fact, it was clear Arizona hadn't been eating, she was much thinner than she remembered.

"They used cannabis butter, ingested it's impossible to know how much is in each, you rang me hallucinating. You thought the bugs were eating your leg, you started stabbing them with broken glass. Your stump is a mess, you cut your hands and when Meredith got there you tried to stand without your leg, causing you to fall over and hit your head. They sedated you for 24 hours to make sure the drugs were fully out of you system." Callie explained.

"Who found me?" Arizona asked, she hadn't been on call and hadn't been expected into work for a few days, struggling to work out who would have cared that much to check on her.

"You rang me" Callie explained, Arizona sighed, it wasn't that surprising, Callie's mobile was her number one, her home line in New York was number two, and her work was number 3. Ringing Callie had been the only way to get an update on her daughter.

"You didn't have to come" Arizona blushed, she hated that Callie had dropped everything for her. What did that even mean? Why would she do that? Callie had her new life, in her new state with her new girlfriend,

"I know, I wanted to," Callie replied simply, the thought of not coming hadn't even crossed her mind. "I missed you"

"What does that mean?" Arizona asked, refusing to get her hopes up,

"Everything, Penny and I broke up a few weeks ago. I took some time, I've been seeing a therapist trying to work out what I wanted in life, you said it yourself I jump from relationship to relationship and I wanted to break that. I wanted to know who I was on my own. Then you rang, and I knew what I wanted, I wanted my wife." Callie explained, wiping away her own tears, then Arizona's.

"I want that too" Arizona whispered, it was almost to good to be true.

"Good, but we need to go slow, you said things when you rang me, do you remember?" Callie asked, Arizona froze her mind searching scrambled images.

Callie waited a few minutes before letting Arizona out of her misery.

"You had flash backs to the plane crash, about wolves, and bugs" she explained, "then the car crash, Mark calling you nothing, then the miscarriage"

There was a silence, more tears fell down Arizona's face, she wasn't surprised that was a summary of her nightmares.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, the one thing she had never wanted to do was burden Callie, never wanted to let Callie know how truly broken she was.

"No," Callie replied with more force than either expected, "no," she repeated softer, taking Arizona's hand, and a deep breath trying to organise her thoughts, "I knew things weren't right even before the crash, I knew you weren't okay after the crash, but you said you were fine so much I guess I believed it. Then that damn plane crashed, and you couldn't hide anymore so you pushed me away and I let you, I hated myself for not being able to save your leg, and I let you push me away" Callie sobbed.

"It wasn't your fault" Arizona cried,

"I know, it wasn't your fault either, we all failed, as a couple we didn't learn how to talk to each other, I want to be with you, I want to be your wife again, but we need to talk it slow, we both need therapy" Callie urged, this was a hard line for her, therapy had helped her but she knew she had a long way to go. To her surprise Arizona nodded,

"I've been going to a therapist too" she revealed, blushing, Callie knew how hard it was for Arizona to reveal that, Daniel Robbins had always instilled that asking for help was a weakness, so for her to turn against that was huge,

"Since when?"

"Since the custody case." Arizona took a breath, stroking Callie's hand using it to ground her. "My therapist thinks I have complex PTSD" she said nervously, she didn't want to scare Callie off not when she'd confessed she wanted to try to get back together but thought Callie needed to know.

"I suspected," Callie admitted. "I heard the nightmares. I saw you struggle, I pushed. I thought if I could get you walking, back to work, if we could have a baby then things would magically be back to what they were. I pushed you like an Ortho doctor. I forgot to be your wife"

Arizona sobbed. She didn't know how desperately she had needed to hear those words. That it hadn't just been her.

"No," she denied, sure Callie had pushed her, but she had needed that, without Callie she'd probably still be in that chair, or worse still the bed. "You were my wife, you did more than anyone, I was broken, and I know now I need to fix myself. I need to put in the work to get better. But I need you to know I'm better but I'm not the old Arizona, I'm never going to be that person again" Arizona confessed nervously.

Callie nodded, taking a breath and her time, she wanted Arizona to know she wasn't rushing like before.

"I understand. I'd like to get to know the new Arizona," she admitted as the door opened, Sofia walked in, carefully carrying 2 juice boxes.

"I got strawberry milkshake" she grinned gleefully, passing Arizona one of the boxes, Arizona smiled, while Callie sighed. Strawberry was technically a fruit, and it was both of their favourite drink.

"Enjoy" she said admitted defeated.

"Cheers" Arizona offered tapping her juice box to her daughters. She drank her juice listening to Sofia talking about school, before she knew it the room was dark. She sat up finding Callie sleeping on the chair next to her. She smiled, Callie stayed, she cared enough about her to stay.

She reached over, gently taking Callie's hand, the brunette didn't stir, Arizona closed her eyes feeling the fuzzy warm feeling she had missed for years.

Callie was back, Sofia was back, and she wanted her wife back. Arizona made a mental promise to herself to ring her therapist. She had a second chance, one she never thought she was going to get, she owed it to Callie, to Sofia, and importantly herself to be well.

This was a new start, and this time Arizona wasn't going to blow it.