Peter Parker

We took the subway over to where my uncle and aunt were laid to rest.

During the subway ride, Michelle and I were quiet. I didn't know what was going through her head. I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts.

I realized I didn't know Michelle as much as I thought I did. I wondered if that was my fault. Granted, when we were dating, we only had one week where things were normal before everything went to hell. But was that really an excuse? I knew it took her a lot to trust someone, but I never quite knew why other than her apparently having bad luck in trusting people. Now that I knew the reason, everything started to make sense. Do I think it was okay that she was willing to be around Brad while I had to keep my distance? No. But I understood.

I wasn't a stranger to betrayal.

Other than that, I started to wonder how much Michelle knew about me. She knew quite a bit about my aunt, but I never really talked about my uncle much with anyone other than Aunt May. The night before was the first time in a long time I really talked to anyone outside of my family about him. I wasn't sure I was ready to even talk to Michelle about Uncle Ben. But she was willing to listen to me and we were already on the subway. It wouldn't have been right for me to flake.

When we arrived at our stop, we made our way to the cemetery. Along the way, we stopped at a flower shop. I bought a couple of bouquets, using cash so I wouldn't leave a digital trail. A bit to my surprise, Michelle picked out two bouquets of her own. I was about to offer to pay, but she gave me a look, wordlessly telling me to put my wallet away. After that, we went straight to the cemetery.

Once we arrived, I stood outside of the open gates. The last time we were here, Ned, Betty, Scott, Kitty, and Craig were with us. In hindsight, I'm surprised no one asked me about my uncle since his tombstone was right next to my aunt's. Then again, if they did notice, the others probably didn't want to ask questions, given the situation. As it was, I started to question if bringing Michelle here to talk about what I wanted to talk about was even a good idea. In hindsight, maybe it wasn't. But we were already there with bouquets in our hands and Michelle spent her own money on the two she had. I had to follow through. I took in a breath before I walked in with Michelle following me.

After some minutes, we reached the graves of Uncle Ben and Aunt May. I swallowed a lump in my throat as I stepped forward and laid a bouquet on the bottom of each of their tombstones. Michelle did the same. I took a moment to pray silently. After I was done, I just stared at the tombstones in silence.

"…Ben Parker," I head Michelle whisper out. I looked over at her, seeing her look at Uncle Ben's tombstone. "…I take it that this is your Uncle Ben." She looked over at me.

"Yeah, he is," I replied.

She nodded as she looked back at the tombstone. "I remember when news of his death spread around school during our freshman year. I wanted to see if you were okay, but I didn't know how to approach you. Plus, Ned was looking after you, so I just kept on observing from afar." She looked back at me. "…You never talk about him much. Did you two have a bad relationship or something?"

I shook my head. "No. Just like how Aunt May was basically a mother to me, Uncle Ben was a father to me. But talking about him is still a bit hard."

"Why is that?"

"…There's still a part of me that feels responsible for his death."

As expected, Michelle gave me a look of confusion. "Why would you feel that way? It's not like you killed him."

"You're not wrong, but…" I trailed off. To say I was reluctant to explain everything to her was an understatement. But, Michelle already shared a painful memory with me and I brought her all the way out here. I had to tell her this story.

"…When I got my powers, I didn't jump straight into becoming a hero," I began. I turned to fully face her. "When I got a grasp on my powers, I started to think about ways to make money. My aunt and uncle provided a lot for me, if not everything I needed. But money was tight, to say the least. Eventually, I got word of these underground fight clubs. I was tempted, but I decided against it at first. I didn't want to get in trouble with the law and disappoint my uncle and aunt. But Homecoming came around and I was unable to buy a ticket to go. After hearing about all the good times other people had there, I was envious. I was getting tired of being unable to get what I want because I couldn't afford it. So I went looking for those fight clubs."

I chuckled bitterly. "It was kind of hard for me to get into. Everyone wrote me off as just a kid. So, one night, I picked a fight with one of the fighters. I wasn't exactly Jackie Chan or Michael Jai White, skill-wise. But I was super strong, super fast, super agile, and I could really take a punch, so I won easily. Because of that, I was able to get more fights. As I was getting money, I was looking ahead to next year's Homecoming dance. I had it all in my head. I was going to save up for a tux and a limo… maybe even buy a car. Then things started to go downhill. See, I was able to hide what I was doing for a while, especially since Ned was the only person I told. But then I was going up against this former boxer from back in the day – Crusher Creel, I think his name was. He fought with his boxing gloves on, and there was rumors going around that they were loaded with something heavy. I could believe it, even though he never got caught. He managed to give me a black eye. I still won the fight, but when I got home, my uncle saw the black eye and started questioning me. I insisted that I slip and fell and hit my face against a wall, but he wasn't buying it." I shook my head. "Lying was never my strong suit, and I'm even a worse liar to those close to me." For a brief moment, Michelle's lips stretched into something that wasn't quite a smile. I almost wanted to smile myself, but I didn't. I decided to continue. "Uncle Ben kept on questioning me for days until, one night, I lashed out at him and left the house.

"I went straight to a fight club for a fight. I wanted to blow off some steam. I ended up doing just that. But when the fight was done, the guy heading the whole thing stiffed me on pay. He told me it was to cover the medical bills of fighters who got injured. I knew he was full of shit. I tried to get the money I owed, but there wasn't much I could do. It wasn't like I could call the cops. So I started to leave. As I was leaving, somebody pulled up and robbed the guy. I didn't intervene. The way I saw it, the guys deserved it. But, on my way home, I saw a bunch of squad cars and an ambulance. Something told me to take a closer look. So I did. That's when I saw Uncle Ben on the ground. I rushed over. He was bleeding out from a gunshot wound. The last thing he said to me was my name before he… you know. From the radio of the nearby police car, I heard the dispatcher stating where the suspect was last seen. So I left the scene and started looking for him. Once I tracked him down, I chased him into a nearby warehouse and stalked him through the darkness. He thought he had the drop on me at one point, but I saw him in the shadows. He tried to shoot me. All he hit was wall. That's when I struck. I beat him down barehanded. And I kept on wailing on him until he started begging for his life. I was about ready to kill him until I took off his mask. The guy who robbed the head of the fight club? Yeah, it was him who killed Uncle Ben. I stood there shocked. He tried to shoot me, but I webbed his hand up." I paused. "I guess this would be a good time to explain that I was running around with prototype web shooters. Anyway, I was about to finish the guy off, but all I could think about was Uncle Ben and how he wouldn't approve. So I left him slumped in the corner for the police to find.

"Ever since then, I found myself unable to keep myself from intervening when crime happens. That's when I started focusing on becoming a superhero." I paused once more. "…I'm happy I'm Spider-Man, and I do like helping people. But after talking with Dr. Drumm, I realized that, low key, I've been trying my best to make up for what happened that night. What if I told my uncle the truth when he asked prior to that night? What if I didn't just stand by out of pettiness when the guy who didn't pay me got robbed?" I shook my head. "…I've been upset with you, Michelle. The fact that you seemed forgiving of Brad over what he did while you broke up with me and distanced yourself away from me over what I did made me resentful of you. But as Kitty told me, it's rather unfair for me to be mad at you for not forgiving me when I haven't forgiven myself." I frowned. "…I'm sorry."

Michelle didn't say anything at first. I tried to get a read on her expression, but I couldn't read it. What was she thinking?

"…It seems like hypocrisy has been going around a lot lately," she commented. "You think there's a vaccine for it?"

I scoffed. "If only." I became serious. "…Let's go to The Bunker and get this suit repaired."

We took the long way back to The Bunker, using Edith to carve out a route. I wanted to take the route with the least surveillance and Michelle agreed. When we arrived, I felt a bit tired. It wasn't from the walking. Or maybe it was. But I just felt spent from today and last night. I was spending so much time finding out and trying to come to terms with issues I had with myself and it took a lot out of me.

"Do you mind if we sit a bit?" I asked.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," Michelle replied. I smiled slightly in appreciation. I was about to go to the switches to open up the lower floor when Michelle walked up to the Black Alligator. She opened up one of the rear doors. I looked at her in confusion. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "Are you coming in or what?"

"Um… I…" I cleared my throat. "I am." I walked over as Michelle moves inside. I went in after her and closed the door behind me. After Michelle took a seat, I took a seat next to her. When I did, I realized that maybe she didn't want me sitting next to her. I looked at her, expecting her to tell me to move away. However, she was looking around the cabin.

"So, this is rather gaudy." Michelle looked at me. "Where did you guys get this?"

"We got it in Singapore." I smiled slightly. "Craig convinced Kitty to let him buy it. It was an armored vehicle and we were going undercover as high rollers. After our mission, they managed to transport it back here."

"And Craig is going to use it as his personal field vehicle?"

"No, from what I understand. I think this going to replace SUV that got lost when we had to deal with Kraven. Besides, you know Craig. He prefers to keep it low key."

Michelle nodded before she looked forward. I looked forward as well. We remained quiet for a while. The silence wasn't uncomfortable. If anything, I was almost happy about it. At that moment, I wasn't thinking about Beck or Liz. And, in the first time in a long while, I was in the same space as Michelle without the urge to get away from her as quickly as I could. On the contrary, I was glad she was next to me. All of that was enough to make me want to doze off.

"…I know how you feel," Michelle spoke up. I looked at her, a bit surprised. She looked at me and frowned. "…When Gayle was sent away, that's when the issues between my mom and dad started. Like, I knew that things were uneasy between Gayle and my folks and, in hindsight, the issues between my mom and dad were probably simmering underneath the surface for a while, but there have been times I've felt responsible for those things happening. Like, if I listened to Gayle and backed her up when she said Cass couldn't be trusted, maybe none of the bad stuff would happen." A bit to my surprise, she nudged my shoulder with hers. "It wasn't your fault what happened to Uncle Ben. And for what it's worth, I don't think he holds it against you."

I looked away and balled my fists up a bit on my lap. "…I want to believe you, but…"

"I get it."

"…Thank you." I took in a breath before I looked back at her. "…I still love you, too."

Michelle scoffed. "You really took your time to say it back." I gave her a halfhearted glare. She became serious. "…So where do we go from here?"

I frowned. "…I… I don't quite know. I'm guessing kissing and making up right now is out of question."

"Yup," Michelle replied, popping the "P" as she did so. I was almost hurt. "No offense or anything, but including our time before The Spell, we've been together for about a year, but today is the day we learned these things about each other. And that was after a whole bunch of missteps, our friends getting on our cases, and professional help from Dr. Drumm. Our relationship was doomed from the start."

I bowed my head. "So is this it for us?" I was trying to steel myself for the worst.

"Oh for God's sake, Peter, don't look so defeated. I didn't say that." I looked up at her. "I'm just saying that, right now, this isn't something we can handle by ourselves, especially since we have Beck and Firestar to deal with. Let's just wait until this whole Beck thing is over. After everything is settled, then we can figure things out. Okay?"

I nodded. "Okay." I felt a bit relieved. I know us getting back together wasn't guaranteed. But there was still a chance.

"But, just to warn you. If we do get back together, we'll be starting from Square One."

"I don't care if we start from Square Negative 1,000 as long as it's with you." I paused for a moment. I felt embarrassed. "That sounded better in my head."

Michelle smiled at me. "I'm sure it did." After that, she leaned against me and placed her head on my shoulder. "Now be a good boy and stay quiet. I could use a nap."

"…Ditto." I hesitated for a moment. I then brought my around her shoulders and squeezed her against me. She snuggled up closer against me in response. I watched as she closed her eyes. I smiled before I leaned my head against hers. I closed my eyes. I was about to doze off myself, but I had one more question to ask. "…Um… before you nap… can we at least be friends again?"

"Do you want to be friends again?" Michelle asked.

"I do."

"Then say my name."

I was given pause. I was confused. "…Michelle."

"No, Loser. Say my name."

It took me a moment to realize what she meant.

"…MJ."