Jacoba does not like Church. Period. So, here is another one-shot of her pretty much trolling him, lol.
The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.
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Hope you enjoy!
Prompt: "You're the Crown Prince of collateral damage."
This would definitely have to be a first for Jacoba. For the past hour or so, she had (quietly) sat and listened as both Church and Drummer had briefed the whole team on a new mission. The whole time, Barney had kept looking over to where she was sitting between Gunnar and Thorn, as though he thoroughly expected her to jump up and attack the younger of the CIA agents. She just rolled her eyes as she leaned into Gunnar a little more; the constant looks were more annoying to her than Church was right now.
Sighing, Jacoba refocused her attention on the two agents in front of her. On the surface, this mission sounded pretty cut and dry. This point was driven home when Drummer said, "And those are the ins and outs. Get in and get out."
Church narrowed his eyes. "And absolutely no collateral damage."
This cause Jacoba to scoff and cross her arms. "Are you coming with us, Agent Smart?"
"Amazon, what have I said about calling me names?"
"I don't remember. You know, since I wasn't listening." All of the Expendables were chuckling by this point, as was Drummer. Jacoba smirked before speaking again. "And you didn't answer me, man."
Church sighed as Drummer shook his head. The older man spoke up now. "Why does it matter, Amazon?"
She scoffed again. "It matters because that man," she gestured at Church, "is the crown prince of collateral damage. And I, for one, am not going to cover his ass again when he inevitably screws up."
"That only happened once, Amazon!"
"She's got a point, Church." Everyone turned to look at Smilee, who was sitting near Barney and had adopted a similar stance to the one that Jacoba usually took; arms crossed and eyebrow raised. "Once is one time too many."
Church groaned and tossed his hands in the air as Jacoba hid her smirk behind her hand. The younger agent seemed to be at the end of his rope with the whole situation. He turned back towards the Amazon, who raised her eyebrow expectantly. "Well, you don't have to worry about me, because I am not going on this mission. Now all of you need to get off of my case!" With one last huff, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.
After a beat or two, the entire room burst out laughing. Shaking his head, Drummer stood and looked at the group. "The sooner the lot of you are able to head out, the better. I'll deal with, what did you call him, Amazon, Agent Smart?" The laughter started up once more as the older agent lifted his hand to say good-bye and followed the younger agent's path out the door.
Barney clapped once a few minutes later. 'Alright, everyone. Let's plan."