Waking up in a bed rather than underneath a covered stand on the floor was a rather big improvement if Potara had to say. She rose to her feet and yawned, stretching briefly and scratching her head. It took her a second to remember and recognize just what bed and where she was. Ho boy... she had actually gone through with going 'home'. She frowned in quiet contemplation. Now that she was here...

"The hell am I supposed to do?" she muttered.

She had no job here or a real place to live. She didn't want to keep imposing on Dende, and... she had no clue about Gohan and Videl. Images of Pan's bedroom, of waking up and going downstairs for breakfast every morning, of happy smiling faces of her family, flashed through Potara's mind. A sense of longing started to bubble up before she ruthlessly crushed it.

"They're... Pan's family, not mine," she said to herself, "I have no right to even ask them, let along put them through that kind of pain."

Waking up to a doppelganger of their daughter everyday was a torment she wouldn't want to inflict on them. Not to mention, she could easily envision them slipping up and calling her Pan every now and then. She sighed to herself and used the technique Piccolo taught her yesterday, remaking the clothes on her body for a quick clean. She chuckled at that, it sure beat washing and drying. She walked out of the lookout, sighting Piccolo levitating near the edge of the Lookout in meditation. Potara cocked her head at that. Now that she thought about it... had she ever meditated since she was born? Mmm... nope. Might as well give it a shot. As not to disturb him, she moved to sit down against one of the lookout trees in it's shade, cross legged, and closing her eyes. She took a deep breath, slowly let it out, and began to try and empty her mind...

ZIP

"Morning Potara!" came a cheery voice.

Potara yelped and gave a start, smacking her head back into the tree. "Owww."

"Oops, sorry," said the voice.

She glanced up to see Goku standing above her with a grin.

She sighed. "Morning, I WAS trying to meditate."

"First thing? When did you become a mini-pink piccolo?" teased Goku.

"I'm not deaf Goku," came Piccolo's voice.

Goku laughed at that. "Anyway, wouldn't a spar be a better way to warm up for the day?"

Well someone certainly hadn't changed a bit.

"Sorry, I'd rather meditate," she said.

Goku pouted. "Aww come on."

"Maybe later," she said.

"Pretty please?" asked Goku.

"I don't wanna," she said stubbornly.

"Why not?" he asked, "I wanna see how much stronger you've gotten since you left!"

Potara scowled. "I haven't trained or anything."

Goku gave her an incredulous look. "Why not?"

"I don't like using my ki anymore," she murmured.

Goku looked at her as if she had grown a second head. "Huh?"

She closed her eyes and tried to start meditating. Maybe if she ignored him, he'd go away.

Poke poke poke

She opened her eyes to glare at him as he started poking her forehead. "Seriously?"

"Why don't you like using your ki?" he asked, baffled.

"I already told you before," she growled out.

Goku, frowned, thinking it over. "Umm... I don't remember."

Her eyes furrowed in thought for a moment. Maybe she hadn't said it in quite those words to him, but telling him how empty she felt without the green power, the power of creation, should make it pretty easy to remember and connect the dots.

Then again, he was Goku.

"Goku, you're pestering is interrupting MY mediation as well," called over Piccolo crossly.

Goku pouted a little. "Aww fine. Catch you for a spar later then Potara?"

She grumbled out a 'fine', and was relived when he Instant Transmissioned away.

She glanced briefly towards Piccolo. "Thanks."

Piccolo grunted, but said nothing, resuming his meditation, she doing the same. She couldn't recall through Pan's memories meditation ever being so... intensely calming and peaceful. The lack of thoughts, of worries and concerns... was relieving...

She faintly became aware of voices some time later. She cracked open an eye to see Piccolo and Dende standing and talking at the edge of the lookout. She glanced up to see the sun was up high in the sky. Damn, she had been at it for awhile. She got up and stretched, moving over to the edge of the lookout a ways away from the two Namekians. She crossed her arms and stared down at the clouds silently. She couldn't see down in the world like they could, but, she could still feel the countless little specks of ki down below. She softly smiled, standing there for hours, simply feeling the people down below go about their day. She doubted many of them realized just how treasured it really was to be able to live a normal life. She remembered Pan's fly over of the ruined Terra, normal life was something the people of that world would have given anything for.

"Hmph, standing still for hours isn't something I would have expected of you," came a voice.

Potara glanced over briefly to see Piccolo approaching, she turned back to glancing down below. "One of the only 'good' things I picked up from the Doll I suppose."

"Oh?" questioned Piccolo, standing next to her and looking down as well.

Potara went silent for a moment; She did not like looking into the Doll's part of her memories. "Whenever she wasn't being used to train Pan, Whis placed her into his staff dimension for 'storage' for months on end. She had to develop a bit of patience I suppose."

Piccolo grunted in response.

Potara continued to look down, but, her focus was on Piccolo. She was turning over Pan's memories of the Namekian over in her mind. Strong, wise, a great but strict teacher, not afraid to say his mind or give his opinion and would be the first to call someone out on their bullshit. Those thoughts were the first to cross her mind. Born the reincarnation of someone called King Piccolo, he had originally been an enemy of Goku's before joining them. She didn't know the details per say, but she knew her fath... that Gohan... had something to do with changing him. He had been revived to fight Freeza on Namek, fused with someone called Nail...

Her thoughts froze. Fused. That's right, Piccolo was a fusion, wasn't he? Not only Nail, but she had learned he had fused with Kami during the whole Cell thing. He was a fusion...

Just like her.

She felt herself wanting to warm up to him almost immediately.

And yet...

She contemplated it. Was he really a fusion? Or had he simply absorbed them? He still went by Piccolo after all, even after 'merging' with Kami...

"Piccolo," she said quietly, "May I ask you a... personal question?"

"Depends on what it is," said Piccolo.

"Did you merge with Kami and Nail, or absorb them?" she asked.

Piccolo gave her a briefly confused look before contemplating it. "Nail... did not exactly fuse with Piccolo, the original Piccolo, the way that Piccolo and Kami did. He gave his power, nothing more. Nail... continued to exist for a time, speaking and feeling through Piccolo a few times before fading into his soul."

"Kami and Piccolo however fully fused to make me," said Piccolo.

"Yet you still go by Piccolo's name?" she questioned.

Piccolo gave her a dry look. "It was that or go by 'Kamiccolo', and no offense to Goku's 'creativity', but no thanks."

Potara gawked at him. "He really called you that?"

Piccolo rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Yes, much to my chagrin."

"Why not come up with a new name then, for yourself?" asked Potara, honestly curious and baffled, "It doesn't bother you to be called who you're not?"

Piccolo frowned. "Potara, I was more than proud to keep that name. Not to mention, Piccolo is mostly who I am. I'm not fully sure how it works with a Potara Fusion, but, it wasn't exactly an even fuse with me. Piccolo is far more dominate in who I am then Kami is. Though..."

Piccolo gave a wry smile. "That old bastard still bleeds through ever now and then."

Potara slowly turned her gaze away and stared down at the clouds. Piccolo was far more content with who he had been born from and who he was than she was...

Piccolo cleared his throat. "I believe one personal question deserves another in turn."

Potara shrugged. "Ask."

Oddly, Piccolo took his time in selecting his words, as if he were carefully choosing each one, "Potara... do you... truly... despise who you were born from... so much?"

Potara blinked a few times before turning to scowl at him. "Piccolo, it's not like you to mince words. If you have something to say, then say it."

Piccolo raised an eyebrow briefly at that. "Hmph, alright. I can understand the Doll, but, I remember what you said when you were born, why do you hate Pan as well?"

This again? "Goku already asked, didn't he tell you?"

"He never mentioned it," said Piccolo.

"Huh, what do you know, Goku respecting someone's privacy," she said dryly, "Must be the end of the world."

"Hmph," said Piccolo, shaking his head slowly.

Potara could see disappointment and resignation building in his eyes, feel it in his ki. She did not like it there, and was a little anxious as to why it was forming. Out of all of them, she felt most included towards her fellow fusion. If she was to stay here...

She needed someone who wasn't Goku, he was friends with everyone pretty much, on her side...

"Why does the question matter to you that much?" she asked, "And can you really not figure it out yourself? Aren't you supposed to be the smartest one out of all of us?"

Piccolo snorted. "Wisest perhaps. Smartest? That would be... your father."

Potara said nothing, she could feel the subtle anticipation in his ki. He wanted her reaction... and she figured why. It made her deflate with equal resignation to what he felt. She shouldn't have come back...

"Piccolo," she said with frustration, "I'm not Pan, nor will I ever pretend to be, no matter how much you all want it."

Piccolo watched her silently for a moment. "You're more like her than you realize if you think that's what I want."

Potara frowned at him, but said nothing.

"You distrust us as much as Pan came to," said Piccolo, "You asked me not to mince words, so be it. What I want, Potara, is to be confident that you're not a threat to the Earth."

Potara stared at him, stunned and speechless. He... he thought she was DANGEROUS to THIS planet?! Her homeworld?!

She turned fully to face him, eyes narrowing. She could not stop a tremor, a ripple of pure anger ripple through her ki. She glared at him furiously, but did not speak, not trusting herself to open her mouth without exploding at him.

There was a bead of sweat that ran down Piccolo's face, but he stood his ground. "What I want Potara, is some hint of who you really are. What do Pan's family and friends mean to you? What does this planet mean to you? What do Pan and the Doll mean to you?"

Potara stared at him silently for a moment before turning away and sitting down, letting her legs swing off the lookout. "I don't honestly even know who I am. I put most of this last month into my job and just lost focus in it. Any other thoughts, I put off."

"All day, every day, for a month straight?" said Piccolo dryly.

Potara's lips curled into an almost nasty grin. "Arcosians don't believe in child labor laws. If someone wants to work sixteen or more hours a day, they're more than happy to oblige, whether they're an old man or a toddler they'll put you to work if you ask."

Piccolo slowly shook his head. "Ignoring the power difference, I'm not sure which makes me more uneasy, a dimension of Freezas, or a dimension of Saiyans."

Potara didn't bother answering that, if he had to ask, he really needed to sit down and re-think his priorities.

"What about what else I asked?" prodded Piccolo.

Potara didn't like being pressured for an answer, especially when he had the audacity to think she'd hurt the Earth...

Then again...

The Doll wouldn't have given two shits about blowing up the planet.

She...

She frowned.

She had almost not given two shits about blowing it up either. She didn't trust the Omni-Kings, she never would, but, even if he were lying about the green power being able to destroy creation, the backlash of unleashing her power against that pint-sized little bastard most likely would have vaporized Earth and everyone on it. Now that she thought back on it and was out of that godforsaken mess, that was easy to realize.

Fuck...

Piccolo did have every right to wonder if she was a danger.

Dammit... dammit dammit dammit!

She opened her eyes and slowly turned over his remaining three questions:

Pan's family and friends.

The planet.

Pan and the Doll.

Well, she certainly wasn't going to answer in order. "I... wasn't exactly in the right state of mind when I was born into that confrontation with the gods. That... that was..."

She trailed off for a moment. "Something I don't ever want to go through again."

She turned her head to stare at Piccolo dead in the eye. "Earth is where I was born, where I came from. I don't want to see it harmed or destroyed. Do you think I would have came back and warned you all about the Saiyans otherwise?"

Piccolo stared at her silently for a moment before moving to sit down next to her. "No, I suppose not kid."

The Namekian grew silent, but Potara wasn't blind to the way his head was slightly cocked, his ear raised to listen. He was expecting more answers, and she wasn't sure how to give them. For Pan and the Doll, should she go verbatim to what she said to Goku?

...

Did she honestly still think the same after having a chance to cool down?

She pondered it briefly before a brief flare of hot rage in her stomach decided for her. Yes, she did still hate both of her fusees.

"They recklessly and irresponsibly gave life to me and threw me into the middle of that godforsaken mess, expecting me to fix their mess and take their places, something I can't do," said Potara bitterly, "And before you even say Pan had no choice in the matter, she did. She had god ki, she had the power to fight off the fusion, but she let it happen because she thought she was to weak to kill the gods."

There was an intense silence from Piccolo. The look on his face...

"Pan... you...," Piccolo said with immense frustration, "She... truly did learn nothing, after everything that happened."

Potara pursed her lips. "Yes... and no."

Piccolo turned his head to look at her, waiting.

"If the Dimensional Tournament had never happened, if the mental attacks and all the crap that happened there didn't happen, she might have recovered who she was," said Potara, "She... was so close. Maybe she wouldn't have returned fully to who she was, but, she was giving up on power, on the hunger for it. She... just wanted to be happy again. The month before the tournament... was a bliss to her."

Piccolo was silent for a moment, working over that thought in his mind, the barely restrained fury was evident in his ki though. "Do you have any idea who it was that attacked her?"

Potara slowly shook her head. "No, but, I know it wasn't ki based. There's no way it wouldn't have been sensed. I don't think it was technological either, unless they can make microscopic flying machines that can somehow get into someone without them knowing. Even then, with everyone's senses, I'm not sure it would have gotten passed them."

She licked her lips. "I think it was a magic attack. It's something we have almost no experience with outside of a few Majin type of abilities, and Babidi I think if what I know is actually true."

"If?" questioned Piccolo, eyebrow raised.

"To be fair, none of you gave Pan the full details on what you all went through before she was born, just a watered down version for a little girl," said Potara dryly.

"Hmph, fair enough," said Piccolo.

Piccolo refocused on the topic at hand. "Perhaps the Majin at the tournament?"

Potara shook her head. "I don't think so. Pan said like... one thing to it, and when the attacks happened, it hadn't lost against Goku at that point. It had no real reason to attack her specifically."

Piccolo nodded slowly. "Makes sense, but, it leaves us with no clues or options."

Potara closed her eyes and exhaled through her nose. "I'm aware, and sitting here now thinking on it, we're still vulnerable to what hit Pan."

Piccolo turned a questioning eye to her.

"We have no knowledge of how to really defend against magic," she said simply.

Piccolo grumbled a little before clearing his throat. "Thinking back to the Majin Buu conflict, those with a powerful will and identity could resist Babidi's mind control, Vegeta could have if he hadn't wanted to fight Goku. Goku told me Vegetto could still control himself after being turned into a candy, but, I'm not sure how he did that. Gohan didn't seem to be able to replicate it."

Vegetto.

Gohan as a candy.

Twin images BURNED into her mind:

Pan decided not to find out. Pan aimed a hand and unleashed a blast of ki, hitting and knocking Bulla out of the way and to the ground. Vegeta was surprised and momentarily looked at Pan, silent thanks in his eyes, before he turned and blew a hole through Vegetto's chest.

"DADDY!" screamed Bulla, holding a hand out towards him.

Vegeta flew back to the group as the grayness of stopped time spread from Vegetto and engulfed his daughter and his friends and family, spreading to consume their entire world. Pan watched it all quietly, feeling horrific guilt trying to tear her apart. She could feel it in the other's ki as well, none of them felt remotely good after doing this.

To her; the scene; a dead Vegetto with his daughter on the ground nearby stretching a desperate, pleading, hand out to him, tears streaming down her face. Pan knew the image was going to haunt her for the rest of her life.

Gohan rushed forward again, and Xuu rose to meet him. Gohan threw a fist forward, only for Xuu to catch it, and did the same with the other, with similar results. There was a sudden look of victory and glee on Xuu's face as the Majin whipped his head tentacle around and pointed it right at Gohan's face.

"CANDY BEAM!" roared Xuu.

Pan was mortified as her father gave a startled scream and was transformed into a Tootsie Roll. "No way!"

Xuu caught the Gohan-Tootsie-Roll and laughed maniacally. "What was that about confidence, BOY?! There's more to fighting than brute strength and skill! Sometimes, a well placed spell wins the day more than the most powerful ki blast or hardest punch."

Xuu brought the Gohan-Tootsie-Roll into his mouth and bit down, starting to chew, a wicked gleam in his eye. Pan gave a horrid squeal of fright as Xuu spit the Gohan-Tootsie-Roll out of his mouth and to the ring floor a few moments later. It looked crumpled, chewed, and ruined. Xuu aimed his head tentacle and released a beam of magic, turning Gohan back to normal. He laid there, looking completely and utterly broken, blood, bruises, and limbs bending the wrong way.

Pan couldn't bear to look at the sight of her father and turned away tearfully. Oh gods, oh gods, it was awful. She trembled, unable get the image of Xuu chewing on Gohan-Tootsie-Roll nor her broken father's body out of her mind. Dammit dad, WHY? Why didn't he just go God? Why put himself, why put her through that?!

Potara recoiled at Pan's memories, gripping the edge of the lookout hard enough to crack it, chunks of it breaking off and crumbling in her hands. Her entire body went rigid, her ki roiling intensely for a moment, enough to darken the air around her and cause sparks of energy to flare. Pain, so much pain in those memories, it hit her like an unblocked punch taken from a god with her defenses down, robbing her of her breath. She was mildly surprised when she didn't spew blood with the sensation, it was her only reminder she hadn't actually taken a physical blow.

"Potara?" questioned Piccolo, his voice tense.

Potara blinked a few times, took a strangled breath, and completely locked herself down, banishing the memory, controlling her emotions, and quieting her ki. She said nothing for a minute, merely staring tensely down passed the lookout, her lips pursed tightly.

"Sometimes," she began icily, "I hate, severely hate, inheriting Pan's memories."

Piccolo's eyes furrowed for a moment before he nodded slowly. "I'll admit, seeing Gohan in that state was enough to turn even my stomach and..."

"Enough," she said coldly.

Piccolo studied her intensely. "I was going to ask the final question, but I suppose that might answer it. Do you hate her memories of us that much? Do you hate us?"

Potara couldn't comprehend his question for a moment. Hate them? How did her not wanting to focus on THAT memory equal hating them? She stared at him, baffled, confused, and a bit hurt.

The thing was...

It was the confusion in his eyes that hurt even more than his question, because she finally, truly understood what he was doing and asking. He did not know her, at all. She was a puzzle to him perhaps, something he was trying to piece together and understand. Maybe she had said a few things he wanted to hear, but the moment she said something he didn't like or misunderstood it was back to square one. He wouldn't trust her as far as he could throw her, which was not at all unless she let him or was caught off guard. He was probably picking apart everything she sad and critically analyzing it, and her. Her saying 'enough' he probably took as her not caring about what had happened to Gohan. Did he think she was some unfeeling psychopath? The Doll might have been, maybe, but...

She could have scowled. Of course, the Doll.

Just another way her 'parent fusees' had screwed her over. They would never trust her. She had no place here, she never would. The Doll had ruined any chance Potara had before she was even born.

Potara stood up and said bitterly, "I shouldn't have come back."

She turned away from him and glanced down off the lookout, focusing towards the Brief's house. She'd go back through the portal to the other dimensions, leave, and never return...

She paused when Piccolo's hand grabbed her shoulder, but, it wasn't hard, it was unusually gentle from him. "Answer the question."

She closed her eyes, took a ragged breath and slowly let it out. "I could never hate any of you. Be incredibly angry yes? But hate? No."

"I see," said Piccolo before letting her go.

She was caught off guard when Piccolo continued, "That's all I wanted to hear. It's not as if I could stop you, but, you're free to do what you will here on Earth so long as you don't cause anymore trouble than Pan would of."

Potara couldn't help but snort at that and glanced back at him. "You do realize Pan challenged the gods, right?"

Piccolo merely gave her a wry smile and started walking away.

Potara wasn't... sure if staying here was worth the roller coaster ride that conversation had been. Especially if she had anymore like it coming up, which she figured she probably did. She contemplated her decision moments ago to leave, wondering if she still should. It would certainly be easier. But life had never been easy since Pan had first gotten sucked through that portal into the other dimensions, had it?

"Piccolo," she said.

"Yeah?" replied the Namekian, pausing a bit away from her.

"Pan never did get the honest none-watered down stories of what you guys went through," said Potara.

"Hmph, and you want to hear them?" asked Piccolo.

Potara sat back down on the edge of the lookout. "Yes."

"Well, I only know what I went through or was told, but, according to Goku, it all began when Bulma hit him with her car in her search for the dragonballs...," began Piccolo, moving to stand next to her once more.

Potara's lips curled into an amused smile.

This might make a good story after all.