Life in Allspark Wells

Part Bravo; Yank in the Guards

"Ok, one more time." Apple Bloom said to herself as she prepared to repeat the combination. Scuffing the floor with her tap shoe clad feet, the former farm girl continued, "Wait, was it shuffle hop step shuffle shuffle, or shuffle shuffle shuffle hop step?"

It had been a day since Apple Bloom returned home from the nightmare of the root and berry retreat. Apparently, Mr. Compost had been arrested shortly after everyone left, only to make bail and disappear. Needless to say, Ironhide was not one to forgive what the sickly green teacher had done to Apple Bloom, and after having a talk with everyone, decided to press charges.

But for the former farm girl, right now she just wanted to unwind and enjoy the remainder of fall break.

Taking a deep breath, Apple Bloom began to repeat the combination. The clicking and clacking of the metal plates on her shoes helped her feel at ease as she tapped across the attic's wooden floor. 'This is more like it!' The burgundy haired girl thought to herself. 'Gotta thank Tender for teachin' me this!" Managing to get it just right, Apple Bloom smirked, "That's more like it."

After a several minutes, the former farm girl found herself noticing a few beads of sweat dripping down her forehead. "Heh, guess Ah've gotten this one down." Making her way to the other end of the attic, Apple Bloom reached for her dance bag as she remarked, "Now, to find another combination to work on." Reaching inside, she hoped she could find the notebook she'd been using to write down notes from tap class.

Instead, Apple Bloom pulled out her grandfather's journal.

"What the…." The former farm girl asked herself. "What's this doin' here?" The last time she'd seen the old leatherbound journal, she'd left it on her nightstand. "Wait, Ah remember Ah was readin' over everythin' the night before the stupid retreat and…." Letting out a gentle chuckle, she finished, "Heh, guess Ah gotta make sure to not confuse this with mah notebook again."

Looking over the journal, Apple Bloom thought, 'Haven't picked up in a while.' The last time she'd read it, her grandfather, Armorhide, had just been tied to a donkey, abandoned in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by Waffen thugs, and narrowly saved by a group of Scottish foot guards.

"You know…." The former farm girl said out loud. "Ah wonder what happens next." Sitting down and crossing her legs, Apple Bloom opened the journal to where she'd left off and read, "Of all the guards they chose to play babysitter for my ass…."

Forward Encampment, Many Years Earlier

'…. They had to choose the hardass.' Armorhide thought to himself as he eyed Lance Corporal Leadfoot. The red Scotsman glared back at him, clearly skeptical of the "yank" he and his team had run into.

It had only been a few hours since Private Armorhide had been saved by a group of Highland Foot Guards, and they'd brought him back to a forward encampment. Of course, since his story of being strapped to a jackass made him sound like a dumbass, the young soldier found himself under guard, effectively kept a prisoner in all but name. Now the young private was being held in a small tent, guarded by one of the soldiers who'd saved his life.

Walking up to his "guest," Leadfoot quipped, "So, you really tink the Major believes your little story yank?" Armorhide looked up to his "host" as he replied, "I suppose he doesn't have to believe it. I told you guys the truth." The dark man added, "Besides, you know what they say. Fact can be stranger than fiction."

Rolling his eyes, Leadfoot replied, "And you really tink we're that stupid? How do I know you weren'ne tryin' to desert? Armorhide could only sigh as he replied, "I guess you just gotta trust me." The red Scotsman looked his "guest" in the eyes as he remarked, "Forgive me if I doubt you. It can be hard to tell who's unlucky and who's a coward."

The moment he heard this, Armorhide stood up and glared Leadfoot in the eyes as he asked, "You calling me a coward?" The red soldier gave a cocky smirk as he replied, "You're the one who said it."

Before he could even process what had just been said, Armorhide slammed his fist into Leadfoot's face, forcing the red soldier into the ground. Seeing the Scotsman lying on the ground, the black soldier could only think to himself, 'Well, fuck.'

No sooner had Armorhide thought this that Leadfoot swung his legs, knocking the young man to the ground. He then leapt onto the "yank" and began to punch his face as he growled, "I'll teach you to mess with the Foot Guards you bastard!" All Armorhide could do was try and block the oncoming assault.

At that moment, both men were distracted by the sound of a familiar voice calling out, "At attention!" Leadfoot immediately rose up and stood at attention as Armorhide wiped his mouth, noticing the faint taste of blood on his tongue. He then looked up, only to see the same light gray officer from earlier standing at the tent's entrance. Seeing this man glare down at him, Armorhide shot up to his feet and stood at attention.

Walking up to the two men, the officer lamented, "I don'ne know what they teach in your army, but here, we do not! Fight! With each other!" Turning to face Armorhide, he continued, "Am I clear, boy?" Taking a deep breath, the young man replied, "Sir, yes sir."

Satisfied, the officer reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a smoking pipe as he properly introduced himself with, "I believe I know your name Private, but you don'ne know mine. I am Major Blackthorne, but you will call me Major, or Sir, understood?" Nodding, Armorhide replied, "Sir, yes sir."

Filling his pipe with tobacco, Major Blackthorne continued, "Now then, I have bad news for you Private. I've just received word from your countrymen, and your unit, the 40th infantry division, is currently engaged with an armored panzer division." Caught off guard, Armorhide thought, 'What? That's… I…...' Shaking his head, he said, "Sir, I need to rejoin my unit. They'll need every man they can get."

Shaking his head, Major Blackthorne replied, "I'm afraid that's not possible. We don'ne have the time or resources to escort one soldier to another unit. There is a war on, you know." Leadfoot then spoke up with a blunt, "Add in the fact we're movin' up north."

"What?" Armorhide incredulously asked. "I mean… Sir, all due respect, but if I don't return, I could get accused of desertion, especially…."

Before Armorhide could finish, the three men were interrupted by the sound of a siren going off as a far-off voice called out, "We're under attack! Jerry's here!" Both Major Blackmore and Leadfoot readied their weapons, Armorhide spoke up with, "Let me help you!" As the major turned his head to face him, the young man continued, "Sir, at least let me prove I'm not a coward!"

Giving the young soldier a smirk, Major Blackmore turned to Lance Corporal Leadfoot as he ordered, "Leadfoot! Get this man a weapon!" Though caught off guard, the red man nodded as he replied, "Sir, yes sir!" As the major darted away, Leadfoot turned to Armorhide and said, "Don'ne try anything stupid yank!" the young private shot back, "My name is Armorhide, and trust me, I won't!"

Rolling his eyes, Leadfoot could only growl, "Fine, whatever!" He then grabbed Armorhide's arm as he dragged him away to the encampment's armory. The moment they stepped outside, Armorhide found himself overwhelmed by the sight of nearly three dozen commonwealth soldiers running around, all of them preparing their weapons for the incoming assault. He could see four men setting up a water-cooled heavy machine gun, several another quartet were preparing an anti-tank gun, and if his eyes weren't deceiving him, Armorhide could even see a few men mounting some sort of anti-air emplacement.

No sooner had everyone managed to prepare their weapons than the horrifying shriek of an enemy airplane rang out, followed by the rat-tat-tat of machine gun fire. Armorhide felt himself being dragged backwards as Leadfoot angrily asked, "Oi, you daft you wee stupid git?" Releasing his "guest," the red soldier warned, "Keep your head down if you want don'ne wanna end up splattered into goo!"

At that moment, a half track emerged out of nowhere as German soldiers began to pour out of it's back. Turning to Leadfoot, Armorhide asked, "You have any grenades?" The red soldier nervously asked, "What? You daft? They're too far away!" As he said this, a stray bullet whizzed in between both men, compelling Armorhide to grab Leadfoot and push him away, forcing both men to hide behind a stack of boxes.

Grasping Leadfoot's coat, Armorhide furiously shouted, "Grenades! Yes or no!" The red Scotsman nervously gulped as he handed the black private two hand grenades as he warned, "Don'ne do anything stupid!" Taking the grenades, Armorhide turned around and glanced at the approaching Germans.

"They're getting close." Armorhide muttered to himself. As the German soldiers made their way towards the two hidden men, the young yank took a deep breath as he whispered to himself, "You can do this. Aim true and through hard." Taking a deep breath, he pulled the pin and threw the grenade.

Sure enough, the metal sphere landed right in the middle of the squad of German soldiers. One of them noticed it and, knowing what was about to happen, could only scream, "Granate!" Less than a second later, the entire squad was consumed in a cloud of smoke, dirt, shrapnel, and blood.

Seeing the opportunity, Armorhide leapt over the crates, ran towards the scattered remains of the deceased Germans, knelt down, and got his hands on a still intact bolt action rifle. 'Jackpot!' The young private thought as he cycled the weapon. He then realized, 'Wait a minute, I'm gonna need ammo.' Groaning to himself, Armorhide knew there was only one way he could get the right kind of ammunition for his new rifle.

"Ugh. I'm gonna regret this." Armorhide muttered as he crawled over to one of the more intact bodies and began to rummage through the poor schmuck's webbing, pulling a handful of ammo clips out of the corpse's pouches. As he began to crawl over to one of the other bodies, he heard Leadfoot's voice call out, "Get back here you fucking bampot!" Armorhide stashed the ammo into his pocket, firmly grasped the rifle, and ran back to his comrade.

Once the young private was safe, Leadfoot remarked, "You've gotta be the craziest yank I've ever seen!" He then did something Armorhide didn't expect; he gave him a playful punch to his arm as he quipped, "You're a good one boy." Caught off guard, the young private simply replied with a simple, "Thanks."

At that moment, the two men were approached by one of the other Foot Guards, a blue man with dark brown hair and wearing a khaki beret with the rest of his uniform, informed them, "We're pushin' Jerry back, but they're not buggerin' off quick enough! Major wants us to push forward!" Leadfoot replied, "Where does he want us?" The blue man pointed straight ahead as he answered, "Pushing forward!"

Shrugging, Armorhide began to load his stolen rifle as he replied, "Lead the way!" Giving the young yank a confident smirk, the blue man continued, "Follow me! And one more thing?" As Armorhide gave a confused look, the blue soldier replied, "The name's Claymore!" Smirking, the young private replied, "Armorhide!" Leadfoot then spoke up with, "Come on boys, we've got a battle to win here!" The three men then vaulted over the makeshift barricade and charged their German opponents.

Later that Day

Wiping the sweat off his brow, Armorhide held his rifle at the ready as he and the Foot Guards inspected a group of surrendered Germans. Leadfoot approached the first man as he began to pat him down, making sure his new prisoner did not have any sort of hidden knife or small pistol on him. As the red soldier finished his inspection, Armorhide turned to Claymore and asked, "Why are we doing this? Don't they know if they try anything they're dead?"

Shrugging, Claymore replied, "Some of these bastards can be quite the sore loser." He then pointed to one of the Germans as he added, "Any one of these pricks could have a hidden knife or one of those weird single shot pistols." Sure enough, as Claymore said this, Leadfoot patted down one of the Germans, only to feel something and reach into his coat and pull out a small knife.

"Tinking of given me a shave there boy?" The red Scotsman asked the surrendered German. The hapless kraut shook his head as he gulped in fear. Leadfoot then inspected the knife as he remarked, "Looks rather noice actually." Armorhide immediately called out, "Stop mucking about Leadfoot!" The red soldier turned around as he replied, "Oi! You don'ne give the orders around here yank!"

At that moment, one of the other Germans, a pale man with yellow hair and piercing blue eyes, charged at Leadfoot! Armorhide barely had time to call out, "Look out!" Before the red soldier could react, he found himself tackled to the ground by the pale German, who quickly snarled, "Du wirst uns nie alle zerstoren!"

Seeing the German threaten his new friend, Armorhide furiously bellowed, "Get off him you sausage sucking monkey!" He then ran up to the two and threw himself onto the kraut, forcing him off of Leadfoot. Punching the German, the young private grabbed his coat, lifted him up, and slammed the kraut into the ground.

Unfortunately, the German kicked Armorhide in his "ball bearings," forcing him to roll over and recoil in pain as the ruthless kraut pounced on his victim and began to throttle him. The young private quickly found himself struggling to breath as his assailant declared, "Wir warden euch aus unserer Heimat vertreiben!"

Before he could fade away, Armorhide heard Leadfoot shout out, "Oi! Get off my mate!" This was followed by a thunder like crash as the German's grasp around the young private's throat instantly relented. Armorhide pushed himself backwards as he caught his breath. "Whoa. Holy shit!" The young man muttered to himself as he noticed the lifeless body laying in front of him.

Leadfoot and Claymore ran up to Armorhide, the former holding a rifle with a smoking barrel as he asked, "You alright there yank?" Nodding as he stood up, the young man replied, "Yeah. Thanks for the help." The red soldier rested his hand on Armorhide's shoulder as he replied, "No problem. You saved my arse, figured I'd save yours." Armorhide could only smile as he added, "Guess that makes us even."

At that moment, a squad of other soldiers arrived on the scene and aimed their weapons at the remaining Germans as their officer asked, "What's going on over here?" Claymore turned to the officer as he explained, "One of the Jerries tried to double cross us. Lance Corporal Leadfoot and Private Armorhide managed to take the bastard down sar!"

The officer walked up to the now deceased prisoner and, kicking the body, remarked, "Jolly good work boys!" He then turned to the three men as he added, "Major Blackthorne and Field Marshal Longbow wish to have a word with the yank. My boys and I can deal with the rest of this lot." As Leadfoot and Claymore nodded and saluted the officer, Armorhide found himself caught off guard as he asked, "Uh, a field marshal? What does he want to see me for?"

Shrugging, the officer replied, "Bloody hell if I know yank. But you better get moving. Don't want to keep Field Marshal Longbow waiting. There's a war on you know." Deciding that there was no point in arguing or asking further questions, Armorhide nodded as he replied, "Yes sir." Leadfoot then said, "Follow us Armorhide. We know where the General will be."

Command Tent

Entering the large tent, Armorhide found himself staring at a large table with a map of the region. All to the sides were several officers pointing to different areas of the map and writing notes down. And at the far end of the table stood two officers who seemed to be in charge of whatever was going on.

The first of these men was Major Blackthorne. The light gray man's uniform was covered in dirt and gunpowder, and the blue hat with a white and red checkered pattern around the middle he wore seemed to have a bullet hole in it. The other man had green skin with black hair and wore what looked like a sweater over his tunic and a black beret with a tank regiment's pin on it. Noticing this other man's confident pose, Armorhide thought, 'That guy must be the field marshal.'

Pointing to something on the map, Major Blackthorne finished, "…And now that they're fallin' back, we should be able to push them back at least thirty miles." Scratching his chin, Marshal Longbow lamented, "Shame we don't have the petrol to keep up the offensive. That blowhard General Gutsy is gobbling up every last gallon on his push to Lutetia."

The three men made their way up to the two officers as Leadfoot cleared his throat, "Ah-hem. Sar?" Looking up from the map, the field marshal remarked, "Ah, so which one of you is the yank who got himself stranded up here?" Armorhide let out a nervous gulp as he introduced himself, "That would be me sir. Private Armorhide, 40th Infantry Division." The field marshal inspected the young private as he remarked, "I must say, I didn't expect you to show up this far north."

Major Blackmore immediately spoke up with, "Be that as it may sir, I got a glimpse of what he can do, and I tink he's a capable soldier." Leadfoot then interrupted with a firm, "Aye! He saved me life from one of those bastards and I saw him charge a squad of 'em with nothin' but a grenade!" When the two officers glared at him, the red soldier meekly apologized, "Sorry sars!"

Taking this information in, Field Marshall Longbow remarked, "I say, you certainly have quite the backbone lad." Not sure what to say, Armorhide replied with, "Just doing my duty sir." Smirking, the field marshal remarked, "Now then, with our forces going on different paths and your countrymen preoccupied, I believe there is only one solution to our problem." At that moment, he said something that caught everyone off guard.

"As of this moment, you, Armorhide, are now a private in the 92nd Highland Foot Guards."

Armorhide felt his jaw dropping to the ground. 'A…. A private in their army?" Before he could fully process what he'd heard, Field Marshal Longbow continued, "Actually, come to think of it, I believe I recall being told about your insistence that you'd been set upon by a nasty little group of tankers rather than deserted. You certainly know how to defend a helpless position." The officer turned to Major Blackthorne as he added, "Major, raise that man to corporal."

Caught off guard, Major Blackthorne nodded as he replied, "Yes sir!" He then turned to his three subordinates and ordered, "Lance Corporal Leadfoot? Corporal Claymore? Please escort Corporal Armorhide to the quartermaster's, get him a uniform immediately." The major then focused on Armorhide as he added, "Corporal, I will make sure you are accustomed to the way we do things around here. I expect you will not disappoint."

For a split second, Armorhide found himself unsure of what to say. His immediate impulse was to say "Sir, yes sir," but he didn't know if this would be the proper response. After all, he remembered that, back in basic training, he was told that Commonwealth soldiers didn't salute or respond the same way as he was taught. But now, he found himself thinking, 'Might as well just respond as honestly as possible.'

Taking a deep breath, Armorhide replied, "Sir, I don't plan to sir."

Smirking, Major Blackthorne nodded as he ordered, "You boys are dismissed. Report to the Quartermaster's post." Armorhide, Leadfoot, and Claymore saluted their commanding officer and began to make their way out of the tent, hopeful they could find a uniform that Armorhide would be able to fit into.

The Attic, Present Day

Apple Bloom was distracted from her grandfather's journal by the sound of the attic door opening, followed by Ironhide's voice calling out, "You up here kid?" The former farm girl immediately shot up and replied, "Ah am! What's up uncle Ironhide?" Once the family patriarch made it to the top of the stairs, he noticed his daughter's tap shoes and playfully asked, "Making a little noise up here?"

Scratching the back of her neck, Apple Bloom replied, "Ah was, but Ah accidentally grabbed Armorhide's journal instead of mah notebook, and Ah sorta got distracted doin' a little readin'." Ironhide smiled as he said, "That's good. Listen, I just wanted to catch you up to speed on what's gonna happen regarding…." He then paused before resuming, "Regarding Mr. Compost's trial."

Sighing, Apple Bloom asked, "There a chance that fucker will walk free?" Ironhide raised his finger as he warned, "As much as I agree with your choice of words, I'd avoid calling him that." The former farm girl sighed as she apologized, "Sorry about that." The family patriarch reassured her, "It's alright kid. Besides, with everything he did, Onslaught's testimony should be enough to send the prick to the slammer."

Straightening himself, Ironhide informed his daughter, "There is one small issue though. You'll probably be asked to testify against him." Apple Bloom groaned as she asked, "That it? Just get up and tell everyone what he did to us?" Ironhide nodded as he replied, "Yeah. Just that. You think you can handle it?"

Hesitating for a moment, Apple Bloom took a deep breath as she replied, "Yeah. Ah can do that."

Pulling his daughter into a hug, Ironhide remarked, "That's my girl." Hugging her uncle back, Apple Bloom couldn't help but feel safe and secure. Once they'd finished their hug, the former farm girl asked, "Anythin' you need me to do?" Ironhide reassured her, "Nope. Just keeping you up to speed on the battle plan." Apple Bloom then lit up as she asked, "Well, you wanna see what Ah've been workin' on?" The former sergeant let out a gentle chuckle as he replied, "Sure thing kid. Show me what you got."

With that, Apple Bloom made her way to the center of the attic as she began, "Now, this is called…."

Streets of Allspark Wells, That Night

Shaking his head, Aurochs Compost groaned as he complained, "Ugh, my head." As he opened his eyes, the now former biology teacher realized his vision was completely black. "What the?" he asked himself as he tried to move, only to realize something.

Not only could he not see, but something, or rather, someone was forcing him on his knees and holding his arms out, trapping him. Starting to panic, Compost nervously asked, "What's going on? Where am I?" He then tried to shake his arms free, only for something to keep him in place. Gulping in fear, the disgraced teacher asked, "What's going on?"

He received his answer when a familiar voice ordered, "Get thot stupid beg off his head!"

At that moment, someone pulled a bag off of Compost's head, revealing that he was in a dark room staring face to face with Onslaught. As the blue man crossed his arms, the disgraced teacher declared, "You! I know you! You're that poacher from the park!" Onslaught responded to this statement by backhandedly slapping the teacher as he corrected, "Een, we were boar culling, not poaching. And twee, even if we were, Oi'd rather be a poacher then put kids in danger!"

Stepping back, Onslaught asked, "Where'd you foind him?" To Compost's right, he heard a gruff voice reply, "We found the wanker walkin' out of the police station!" Turning to see who it was, the disgraced teacher found himself staring at two men. One of them was a gray man with blue hair and red eyes that was holding his arm. The other man, a dark green man with black hair and yellow eyes, pointed to him as he added, "Drongo here was whinin' about how he was bein' persecuted 'cause he's an activist or some shit!"

Turning back to Onslaught, Aurochs Compost defended himself, "Because I am! I was just trying to help my students appreciate living in harmony with nature." He was distracted by a posh voice to his left replying, "Hardly! You were charged with three counts of reckless endangerment of a minor, and the only reason you're free is because you made bail."

From his left, a purple man with brown hair and dark sunglasses walked up to Onslaught as he said, "It's public record sir." Scratching his chin, the blue man asked, "Well, whot ore we goin' to do with this little piece of bullshit?" As Compost gulped in fear, the gray man holding his right arm suggested, "I say give the boyo a damn good thrashing!" To his left, a voice called out, "I say we take for a ride, maybe back up to Yellow-Steel?" Turning to see who it was, the disgraced teacher found his left arm being held by a man with yellow skin, black hair, and purple eyes.

The purple man then added, "That's too good for this monkey! I say we castrate him!" Hearing this, Compost began to beg, "No please! Please! Anything but that!" Onslaught shook his head as he replied, "Oll tempting oofers, but no." He then walked up to the disgraced teacher, menacingly grabbed his chin, and mockingly reassured him, "Doon't woory boy! We're not going to kill you."

Once he said this, Onslaught began to chuckle, leading his for friends to start laughing as well. Caught off guard, Compost began to nervously laugh as he asked, "So, I take it you're just gonna let me go, right?" Hearing this, everyone else began to laugh even harder, leading Compost to laugh even harder as well. Once he'd calmed down, Onslaught turned to the green man as he nudged his head towards his "guest" and, with a reassuring smile, gave a simple order.

"Break his legs. Both of them."

Taking this in, Compost could only ask, "What?" He received his answer when the two men holding his arms lifted them up, forcing the disgraced teacher up into the air and revealing his legs. The green man stomped up to him and, staring into Compost's nervous eyes, gave a sinister smirk as he warned, "This is going to hurt. A lot!" All the disgraced teacher could do was beg, "No no no no no no no…."

But the green man simply lifted his leg and slammed it into Compost's right knee, producing a sickening crunch as the sickly green ex teacher screamed in pain. The purple man let out a confident chuckle as he quipped, "That's for that little girl you got hurt!" The green man then walked up to Compost's left leg, and slammed his foot into his left knee, forcing his leg to bend in an unnatural angle as the disgraced teacher cried out in agony.

Once both legs were broken, Onslaught ordered, "Los hom!" As Compost fell to the ground, the blue man walked up to the disgraced teacher, picked him up by the shirt collar, pulled him up to eye level, and warned, "You'd better hope they foind you guilty. Otherwise, You and Oi are gonna heve lots of fun, verstaan?"

Tearing up in fear, Compost could only mutter, "Just let me go! Please let me go!" Allowing his smirk to morph into a scowl, Onslaught dropped him to the ground as he ordered, "Kry daardie ontaarde uit my sig!" As the gray and purple man picked the disgraced teacher up, the blue man continued, "The cops come askin', tell them he troyed jumping from the nearest roof."

The purple man nodded as he replied, "Yes sir." He then presented the black bag to Compost as he mockingly said, "Nighty night hippie!" With that, the disgraced teacher found himself returning to the darkness as he thought to himself, 'I am in a world of shit.'

After all, Onslaught felt that evil should always be paid unto evil, and with this, the blue Boer felt that Compost's evil had now been fully paid back.